A small portion of this weekend’s production:
The ugliest ones are the tastiest (coconut macaroons and buckeyes). Life lesson there? Probably not!
PS: My chickens were squawking their heads off, so I went outside to see what they were on about a little while ago. I was standing there saying, “What the hell are you guys on about?” when I noticed they were all looking to my right, so I looked where they were looking, and there was a GIANT FUCKING SNAKE within a foot and a half of me!
So I ran screaming back into the house. It’s just a black snake sunning itself, according to the mister (whom I consulted via text). It’ll probably be toast if it goes into the coop.
The Dangerman
But will chickens think snake tastes like chicken?
schrodinger's cat
You are made of sterner stuff than I am. Creepy crawlies do not want.
BGinCHI
This post had all the dramatic elements I was looking for to distract me from my last afternoon of grading papers.
First an opening with a pic of delicious treats, followed by some lite philosophy, then an intrusion of reality, a heightening of tension, then an allegory borrowed from the Bible with a dash of Paradise Lost.
Though I was a little disappointed with the patriarchal ending.
schrodinger's cat
Lolcat tribute to O’Toole
Libby's person
@BGinCHI: I share your pain – I just posted my final course grades after a full week of grading term papers (written by teams of undergrad science majors!) and calculating final grades. It’s been a grueling term – I’m planning on celebrating tonight!
ranchandsyrup
Today is my wife and her friends’ baking day at our house. Usually I hang out and monitor things and eat fistfuls of cookie dough and then drive people home when they drink too much wine. But had to go to work today. SADFACE. When I get home I will eat all the cookies. Wife is making tiger butter which is easy and not baked to free up the oven for others. Also making her version of doozies.
rikyrah
the cookies look pretty
Belafon
@The Dangerman: The joke in my house is “Everything tastes like chicken, except chicken, which tastes like fish.” It’s generally the followup to:
Where “it” is whatever.
Socoolsofresh
So, last nights 60 Minutes NSA report, great journalism, or amazing journalism? Finally, all the answers, and boy was I relieved! So cool to see inside NSA headquarters!
China, wiping out everyone’s computers to cause a global financial meltdown, so scary, right? Even though it would most likely do great harm to China, but hey, they are so irrational! Can’t believe they got that rover to the moon.
Edward Snowden, what a weirdo dudebro. He had a hood over his computer so that his girlfriend couldn’t see the top secret information he was working on! What a loser, and traitor to boot. So glad 60 minutes was finally able to expose the other side of the story! I hope John Miller is getting ready for his future Pulitzer.
EconWatcher
I don’t know how many of y’all have ever tasted Russian food–I mean real, homemade Russian food–but I’m blessed with a spouse who loves to cook it if I clean up. Which, what with dishwashers and other modern technology, is hardly a fair trade.
But tonight, we’re having monte (a kind of dumpling filled with meat and pumpkin), along with an awesome spicy sauce of my wife’s own invention.
Life is good.
EconWatcher
@EconWatcher:
I should have spelled it “manti”–I’ve never actually seen it written
Yatsuno
Chickies do not like serpents because serpents eat eggs. The hens will tear it to pieces should it slither into the coop. And you’ll still have to feed them later.
Something else to teach the girls.
Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937
@Socoolsofresh: and too bad the NSA couldn’t figure out the two scary terrorists were calling Yemen from California! Ya’ know, the two scary terrorists the CIA was tracking and dodn’t bother to tell any one else about? Thanks God we now have the technology to make up for the incompetence of the CIA.
jl
@The Dangerman:
” But will chickens think snake tastes like chicken? ”
I’ve eaten snake. I think that snake tastes like sea scallops. Which, in turn, taste like chicken.
gogol's wife
@EconWatcher:
I have tasted some very fine homemade Russian food. It’s really my favorite of all things, when it gets down to it. I can’t reproduce it, though.
gogol's wife
@EconWatcher:
It’s Georgian! (like a lot of delicious homemade “Russian” food)
IowaOldLady
Lucky people on your cookie list!
beth
No recipes? (insert sad face)
We used to have a slate entryway to our house in Florida which got the afternoon sun. After one too many times of opening the door to a snake sunning itself right outside the door, I switched to entering and exiting the house by the garage only (at least the overhead door opening scared away anything in there). I couldn’t leave that state fast enough thank you.
ruemara
Love the cookies. I can come up with cookies but I’ve never been into those decorated cookies. Much respect to anyone who can put icing on a cookie and make it look like something edible still. Also-SNAKE!-is not nice and Christmasy.
I sent out the bulk of my Christmas batch, going over budget in the process, and it seems most of the people who got theirs, sat the heck down and ate all of the cookies. What happened to waiting until Christmas for opening gifts? A little moderation in cookie eating? For pity’s sake, don’t tell me you finished off everything before you even had a moment to pen the thank you email. Maybe I was too early.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
I hope the sunning snake heads away from the coop. The girls won’t have to worry and teh snake won’t have to die that way.
geg6
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
All snakes must die. There is no negotiation on this. The only good snake is a dead one and I’m not so sure of even that. Hate, hate, hate snakes.
kindness
Snake cookies?
Betty Cracker
@beth & @ruemara: I use Ina Garten’s coconut macaroon recipe, which is pretty good. The decorated cookies aren’t all that great, to be honest: It’s mostly a canvas for the kiddos. But they are edible.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Update: The snake wisely slithered in the other direction, giving the coop a wide berth. I’m glad it avoided Death by Hen too. I don’t want to have a personal relationship with snakes, but I understand that they’re a valuable part of the ecosystem. I just wish they would be that elsewhere….
Mandalay
@Yatsuno:
If it’s a Black Racer – which it probably is in a yard in Florida – then I doubt if any hen has ever been born that is fast enough to get their pecker anywhere near that snake. They move like lightning.
And if it is something a little more deadly? Well I’m sure Mr. Cracker will grieve for a suitable period.
Amir Khalid
I was just watching an old favourite from my DVD collection. The X-Files: I Want To Believe. It’s still surprisingly good, for what is essentially a new episode of a long-defunct TV show. Better, I’d say, than the the first one, the big-budget The X-Files: Fight The Future. And best of all, you get to see Mulder and Scully as an old married couple.
Amir Khalid
@Mandalay:
Hens have peckers? It was my understanding that they were ladies.
Mandalay
@geg6:
I’m not sure about the small print and the fine detail, but here in Florida it is generally illegal to kill snakes unless they are posing a threat. You can’t stand your ground.
Florida law draws a clear distinction between snakes and black teenagers in that regard, and has decided which form of life is more important.
NotMax
1) Kill snake
2) Spray paint it silver
3) Hang on Xmas tree.
Biodegradable tinsel!
Mandalay
@Amir Khalid: I see what you did there. :)
J R in WV
The cookies are beautiful!! I bet they’re delicious too.
Black snakes are good luck around a farm. They actually drive poisonous snakes away, both by out-competing with them for prey, and by attacking and killing them. At least they kill copperheads, which are the silent sneaky snakes of the few that are poisonous.
They also primarily prey on rats and other rodents, the larger the snake the larger rodents they prefer. So I’ve always been glad to see a big black snake near the farm house and buildings. Chicken feed draws the rodents, which in turn draw the black snakes.
My Grandma was very afraid of snakes, and once when she went downstairs to do some laundry, she found a snake twined in the plastic laundry basket… she used a hoe that was handy, and chopped the snake AND the laundry to bits. I’m not sure how I avoided being infected by her fear, but I didn’t catch it.
I actually catch non-poisonous snakes to let loose around the farmstead, with the result that in over 30 years I’ve only seen one copperhead on the farm. They are very common around here, I have 4 friends that have been bitten.
One got anti-venom and had a shock allergic reaction that did far more damage than the snake. One recently got anti-venom and showed all the friends a $65,000 bill for the injection!! Another had no insurance, and got nothing but a tetanus shot, antibiotics and a script for narcotic pain relief, which he didn’t bother to fill as he doesn’t like the feeling they give him.
I would rather a dozen or more black snakes than one copperhead!
ruemara
@geg6: http://youtu.be/mb0Fo6-_b3g
although this seems more your speed. http://youtu.be/KQI3TTNR6AM
Karen in GA
Phoebe, the World’s Most Affectionate Cat, is 13 and a half years old, and her vet says she has 1//3 normal kidney function. The vet could tell this because of the lack of concentration in the urine. However, her bloodwork is still within normal range, which I guess is good.
So she’s on a special diet. And she’s going to another vet tonight for a second opinion — not because I don’t trust her vet, but just so I know I’m doing everything I can.
The vet thinks she might have a couple of years, but I’m still miserable at the thought that Phoebe, WMAC, FLB* now has a countdown clock. Even though we all do, and have since birth. But if this is an accurate diagnosis and she does still have a decent amount of quality time left, at least I get to spend two more years enjoying her snoring next to me at night.
*FLB: Fluffy Little Buzzsaw.
Betty Cracker
@J R in WV: My husband is always telling me we should be grateful for the black snakes, which may be true for the reasons you state, but I’d rather not have to personally encounter them! Our main worry snake-wise is coral snakes. There’s a rhyme to tell them from the harmless king snake (Red touches yellow will kill a fellow. Red touches black, a friend of Jack.), but damn if I can keep my wits about me to remember it when I need to; if I see a colorful snake, I flee! Actually, I flee all snakes!
Yatsuno
@Mandalay: It’s also pretty harmless to the chickens. I don’t think they’re big enough to eat huevos but I could be wrong. And chickens are pretty damn fast little buggers themselves.
@Amir Khalid: They are ladies. With big long peckers growing out of their heads. No this is not a hentai thing.
Karen in GA
@geg6: You know what’s fun? Settling in for the night, about to go to bed, and there on your bedroom floor is a scorpion. Sense of security, gone.
schrodinger's cat
Here in New England we no has deadly snakes or scorpions but we has snow and darkness in the afternoon during winter.
catclub
I vote in favor of snakes. Snakes are slaughtered and then people notice too many of other kinds of pests – like rats and mice.
OTOH, if you have snakes around, they will not drive the mouse and rat population to zero. If it goes to zero, then the snakes will leave, too. A conundrum, wrapped in an ouroboros,
Mnemosyne
@Karen in GA:
I can deal with snakes, but arachnids? No. No no no no no no no.
I even get a little freaked out by crabs and lobsters and other arachnid-looking sea dwellers.
ETA: People at my office say that they see black widow spiders out in our courtyard pretty often. I’ve never seen one, but I suspect my brain has mercifully blotted any accidental sightings out since I would probably faint or have a seizure.
Just One More Canuck
@Karen in GA: I hope Phoebe recovers and you have a long happy life together. I just lost my 17 year old cat (Scully, or as my daughter called her, Furry Goofball and the Best Cat Ever) a few weeks ago and I’m still expecting her to brush up against my leg or take a swat at me as I walk pat her favourite napping place
J R in WV
@Mnemosyne:
Yes, a 1000Xs yes. Scorpions would (will) freak me out far more than snakes. We usually leave Arizona before either scorpions OR snakes thaw out. My brother once moved into a new home in a new sub-division outside Atlanta, GA.
It was lovely, until he told me about the scorpions that were all ove the place.
We probably have black widows here in WV, I’m not sure. I usually trap spiders in a glass and take them outside, which is a long way from the “KILL KILL KILL” instinct that I still fight when confronted with a big bug.
Will snakes eat scorpions? Hope so, that gives me hope for the future.
Trollhattan
Offspring avec snake.
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5067/5672547259_4d07b03c15_b.jpg
Am informed young mister snake was released later that day, after its captor (some remote cousin) was unsuccessful in convincing the folks to let him take it home. For those conflicted about snakes, this is a snake that eats snakes.
Trollhattan
@J R in WV:
Have a crap-ton of black widows at home and squash every single one I can find, with prejudice.
catclub
@Trollhattan: Pretty snake. Striped King?
Trollhattan
@catclub:
Exactamundo, Lampropeltis getula californiae. Would have been very perturbed if it handn’t been set free, but I suspect my inlaws would have insisted, since rattlers outnumber king snakes on their property and they’d prefer the opposite.
Karen in GA
@Just One More Canuck: Thanks. I’m sorry to hear about Scully — especially since Scully was the best cat ever, just like my cats. But 17 years of a good life in a loving home — can’t argue with that.
@Mnemosyne: Where’s that courtyard? Just so I know what side of the Mississippi to avoid. Not going near it.
@J R in WV: Yep. In case you haven’t guessed from my boring screen nym, I feel your brother’s pain.
burnspbesq
The idea that Larry Klayman, who is both a wingnut and an asshole, is about to be canonized as the newest First Amendment Saint makes me want to vomit.
Betty Cracker
@burnspbesq: Yeah, just saw that in the news feed. Oy. Maybe the judge made the right ruling, but it’s a shame a scum-bucket was the proximate cause. Oh well, Ernesto Miranda wasn’t a stellar character either, from what I understand…
Howard Beale IV
@burnspbesq: Larry Flynt weeps.
Dead Ernest
@NotMax:
Or;
4) invite snake to return next Christmas.
Reusable!
Linnaeus
I like buckeyes. I don’t like that they’re called buckeyes.
Debbie(aussie)
Betty, their look amazingly delicious! Do you send care packages to Aus(:)).
ETA: bloody auto-correct it is Aux not Aux, grrrr
I give up
Betty Cracker
@Debbie(aussie): Hahaha!
none of your beeswax
I want your cookies, you must share with me. what must I do to get my dirty mitts on your wonderful cookies. the wonderful awesomeness of your cookies, share with me and I will build a monument to the wonder of you.
Mothra
I figured it was a snake-that’s something chickens are really good for, snake alarms.
Glenn Hauman
Klayman isn’t going to be a First Amendment saint, he’ll be a Fourth Amendment one.