Frank Costanza: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”
Cosmo Kramer: “What happened to the doll?”
Frank Costanza: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!”
Kramer: “That must have been some kind of doll.”
Frank Costanza: “She was.”
It’s a beautiful thing.
Litlebritdiftrnt
As I posted below, I am going to be baking tomorrow for my annual gift to my neighbors, breakfast, cinnamon bread, cinnamon rolls, apple muffins and fresh donuts. I started the tradition when my neighbor was unemployed and have carried it on now she has a job. I have a bread machine and I love to bake. Lowes credit will decide whether or not I get a new range to do the baking or if I have to make do with my toaster oven.
Mnemosyne
I always wondered if Frank Costanza was in some kind of witness protection program. I mean, come on, we’re supposed to believe he’s a Roman Catholic who belongs to the Knights of Columbus?
No wonder he had to come up with his own holiday — the strain of the charade was too much for him!
shelly
Always felt that the Airing of Grievances and The Feats of Strength kind of dove-tailed together.
khead
Last Miser Brothers sighting before Christmas on my TV.
Pogonip
Is your car still in the field?
Loneoak
Cole, you should honor the holiday by making an “Airing of Grievances” category. FSM knows it would get used a lot.
Dead Ernest
Knowing Cole just forgot to include ‘Open Thread,’ I’m gonna assume it and ask;
Anyone heard if our Iowa Old Lady, is okay?
Earlier today she commented that she’d felt woozy while working out, nauseous a little later back home.
/ the genuine sort of concern.
Baud
Keep the us in Festivus.
IowaOldLady
@Dead Ernest: Bless you for asking. I have finally stopped puking. Does anything feel better than that?
Botsplainer
Isn’t every day Festivus here at BJ?
BGinCHI
@IowaOldLady: Glad to hear you are better! Or at least less vomity.
BGinCHI
I always suspected Frank Costanza of being an Anti-Dentite.
Though I always admired his “stop short” move.
WaterGIrl
@BGinCHI: You know, if I were going to make up a word that might catch on or might be associated with my name in the future, I’m not sure I would choose vomity. :-)
Loneoak
Hey BG, long time no see.
NotMax
Ambrose Bierce, “An Unmerry Christmas” (entire poem):
No, friends–no Christmas here, for I have sworn
To keep my heart hard and my knees unworn.
Enough you have of jester, player, priest:
I as the skeleton attend your feast,
In the mad revelry to make a lull
With shaken finger and with bobbing skull.
However you my services may flout,
Philosophy disdain and reason doubt,
I mean to hold in customary state,
My dismal revelry and celebrate
My yearly rite until the crack o’ doom,
Ignore the cheerful season’s warmth and bloom
And cultivate an oasis of gloom.
IowaOldLady
@WaterGIrl: But vomity is so accurate. And needed. Nauseated is boring and Latinate. At least I think it’s Latin derived rather than Greek?
ronin122
You’re an asshole misanthrope who needs to get laid and post more pets pictures. Also you’re a half-Obot, half closet-still-a-Republican. Or something. Did I air out all the relevant grievances? Someone else please take over the feats of strength for me.
ellie
I got a lot of problems with you people!
shelly
Jacob Marley says he’ll bring the spinach dip.
Mnemosyne
@IowaOldLady:
I once had to send my husband out for a bottle of this at 5 am when we discovered after my knee surgery that I get the vomity side effects of Vicodin. Good times, good times.
Also, too, IANA doctor, but my suspicion with sudden onset dizziness and vomiting is usually food poisoning.
Helen
@Litlebritdiftrnt: You have my address right? Just cinnamon rolls please. If you don’t have my address, I will give you my address right here. Apparently it does not matter. I was caught up in the Target thing, My identity was not stolen, but I shopped there during the “target” (yeah no pun intended) period. Two days ago I got an email from Target’s president assuring me that I should have not fear. Here’s the problem. I shopped there with a Citibank Mastercard. How the hell did the President of Target get my email address???? Did he call Citibank and say “Hey buddy – give me Helen’s email address?” and did Citibank say “Sure, dude; anything else?”
Yeah there’s the problem right there. My only regret is that this shit did not happen to Walmart!
Baud
@WaterGIrl:
Vomity is better than diarrheay.
IowaOldLady
@Mnemosyne: I wrote down the name of that medicine and will pick it up when I grocery shop tomorrow (which I was hoping to do today).
I sent Mr daw out for dramamine because someone told me that her doc says it has the same active ingredient that they give you in the hospital, just at a lower dose.
My favorite errand for Mr daw too place a few years back when our dog got skunked very early in the morning. Someone at the gym told me that Massengil douche would take away the smell, so I sent him out on an emergency, 5:30 AM run for douche.
WaterGIrl
@Baud: Dare I ask… are you talking about the experience, or the word itself?
ruemara
@IowaOldLady: No doctor visit yet? Are you feeling less dizzy?
@WaterGIrl: psst. I went on a shooting walk to test things.
ruemara
OOoooo, h’ep! I is in moderation!
satby
IOL, glad you’re better! I’ve heard of at least 3 people in different parts of the country with this bug, the good news is that all three shook it off after a day of misery.
WaterGIrl
@IowaOldLady: The whole puking thing is just awful. I wouldn’t even wish it on John McCain or Ted Cruz. So glad you are feeling better.
Princess Leia
What happened to Juliet?
gogol's wife
@IowaOldLady:
I am really hoping not to get my usual Christmas norovirus this year.
satby
As to Festivus: I’m sick of stupid people. they’re infesting the country like fleas on a dog, and I am tired of trying to reason or even talk with any of them.
WaterGIrl
Getting ready to leave town for the holiday. Am I a bad person if I leave my kitchen a mess? I am packed and don’t feel like doing any cleaning at all.
Dead Ernest
@IowaOldLady:
Not as good as Eternal Emesis Ending (when else does laying down on the bathroom floor, a hand still caressing the precious coolness of the porcelain, feel so glorious?) – none-the-less, a pleasure to check back here and read your message.*
Glad you feel better, that you’re okay.
*I’m, perhaps, not the only one here who believes that it will be my comment that will determine the conclusion of any thread.
gogol's wife
Wow, an actual tidbit of news from NewsMax. Kalashnikov died: http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/23/world/europe/mikhail-kalashnikov-dies/
Helen
@WaterGIrl: “Bad?” No. but think about it. How crappy will it feel if you come back to a messy kitchen? It’s gotta be cleaned. Might as well do it now.
shelly
Are you the only one who’ll be coming back to the mess? Then who cares? As Julia Child would say, “Who is there to see.”
Dead Ernest
@WaterGIrl:
Being eternally remembered has its price.
trollhattan
@gogol’s wife:
Step 1. No cruise ships.
Step 2. ?
WaterGIrl
@Helen: You are so right. But I think I’ll do it in the morning!
WaterGIrl
@shelly: No. Sadly, the people coming by to take care of my kitties will see the awful mess.
But I’m feeling kind of puny so I think I’m headed to bed and will clean the kitchen in the morning.
Baud
@WaterGIrl:
Why not both?
gogol's wife
@trollhattan:
Yeah, I used to think it was confined to cruise ships too. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
trollhattan
@gogol’s wife:
Wonder what it’s like knowing your invention has killed millions? Did he ever have a Robert Oppenheimer moment?
gogol's wife
@trollhattan:
In the linked article, he has a standard answer. It was designed to defend the borders of the fatherland.
trollhattan
@gogol’s wife:
Local restaurant–a very good one–had an outbreak that affected staff and customers. It was an ugly week or two for them so yes, it can happen to anybody. Evidently it’s uber-communicable.
Remains a perfectly good reason to not go on a cruise, regardless.
Baud
@satby:
Yet here you are.
gogol's wife
If anyone’s looking for a good, if depressing read, I’m re-reading Tolstoy’s Resurrection and am blown away by it. It’s not really a novel, but it is the most devastating description of how the world works, of how the rich live off the blood of the poor. It is full of the most amazing metaphors illustrating the process. But I think you can’t understand it unless you’re at least 50 years old.
Mnemosyne
@IowaOldLady:
My mom used to give me liquid Dramamine when I was a kid, which was horrible because if you weren’t already nauseous, the horrendous taste of it would make it happen.
I have an illusion that liquids stay down better than pills when I’m vomity, but there may not be any actual scientific basis for that belief.
Helen
@WaterGIrl: Good answer. Every morning I get up; shower, and do all those things I need to do to get to work. And every morning I get up 10 minutes early and do the stupid stuff. And you know what 10 X 5 = 50 minutes adds to? Housework? DONE! So, the moral of the story is: Do it in the morning!
gogol's wife
@trollhattan:
I have many reasons for that! If I thought I’d meet Charles Boyer (Love Affair) or Cary Grant (the remake, An Affair To Remember), I might risk it, but they’re both dead.
Mnemosyne
@WaterGIrl:
At a minimum, get rid of things that will rot or will become even more difficult to clean if you leave them sitting for a week. But if you have non-urgent mail piled up on the counter, who cares?
max
@IowaOldLady: But vomity is so accurate. And needed. Nauseated is boring and Latinate. At least I think it’s Latin derived rather than Greek?
Other way around – nauseated is from Latin nauseare but that’s from Greek nausia (from naus meaning ‘ship’). Vomity is way easier – Vomity -> Vomit -> vomitus, Latin. (‘ea’ ending usually means something originally from the Greek – ungreekish endings like ‘it’ mean Latin.)
Hope you feel better. I’m just over the three week whatever-it-was.
@ronin122: You’re an asshole misanthrope who needs to get laid and post more pets pictures. Also you’re a half-Obot, half closet-still-a-Republican. Or something. Did I air out all the relevant grievances? Someone else please take over the feats of strength for me.
I think we need a Locating of the Condiments to go with Feats of Strength & Airing of Grievances.
max
[‘A man should should always know where his mustard is.’]
Dead Ernest
@IowaOldLady:
While spending some time working in a small town, Nebraska hospital, the older folk taught me their favored word: ‘Urpy.’
In addition to it being somewhat onomatopoeic, ever since. When I’ve asked a nauseous person, of any age and all over the country, even if the word was new to them, if they felt Urpy, their look of being understood has not only been universal, but occasionally even therapeutic.
max
@max: I think we need a Locating of the Condiments to go with Feats of Strength & Airing of Grievances.
A Feat of Strength would be putting the inflated tires on the front of the Subaru and the spare on the back and then driving the car out of the field.
max
[‘Because duh.’]
IowaOldLady
@max: I knew someone on here would know the Latin or Greek derivations.
@Dead Ernest: Urpy is an excellent word.
Helen
@Dead Ernest: And where does “barf” or “hurl” fit in here?
Mnemosyne
Well, I feel slightly better about my mom spending Christmas Day alone now — she says she signed up to help serve Christmas dinner at the local homeless shelter. As long as she isn’t spending the day sitting around feeling sorry for herself, it’s a win for the whole family as far as I’m concerned.
Dead Ernest
@Helen:
High school & College I believe.
… Oh, and ‘barf’ would be the root of the name (sad, sad name) of the dog in Family Circle (sad, sad representation of a family).
IowaOldLady
@Mnemosyne: That’s a great thing for your mom to do. She’ll feel good by doing good.
When I was a kid we lived in Detroit, and my mom used to give us Vernors Ginger Ale when we were sick. By Motor City standards, Vernor’s was medicine.
Mnemosyne
@Dead Ernest:
Fun fact: the son that Bil Keane based Billy on grew up to be this guy.
(Not that you know who he is unless you’re into animation. Still, nice guy and a great artist.)
Mnemosyne
@IowaOldLady:
She’s always preferred doing things for others than letting people do things for her, so I think it’ll be good for her. (She wanted to be a nurse, but she didn’t get her GED until she was past 40 and had a hard time with the science.)
She also liked her Christmas gift from me, which was a donation to Fisher House, so thanks again to whoever reminded me about them. Hopefully she’ll think about donating to them instead of that frickin’ Fox News scam the Wounded Warriors Project.
Villago Delenda Est
The condiments had to leave the refrigerator because Cole discovered they were holding a dance in there.
SiubhanDuinne
Not for the first time, I am about to confess something on BJ that relatively few people in the real world know about me. As I have previously mentioned, I was a young(ish) Randroid. I have a terrible needle phobia. I have to fight constantly against my hoarder inclinations.
Yet this confession may be the most shameful, and the most difficult I’ve ever posted.
I have never seen Seinfeld.
Not a single episode.
There. I said it.
I’m retired now and have a bit of extra time at my disposal. Would you recommend that I acquire the entire run and treat myself to a big old Seinfeld marathon? Or just a few selected famous episodes? Or is it too late and I’m beyond help?
Grateful for any advice. Try to keep your shock, outrage and pity to a minimum.
Now that I’m retired and have a bit of extra time
gbear
I stopped at Trader Joe’s tonight to get some cat food and decided to buy some egg nog while I was there. It turns out that the season for egg nog is over at Trader Joe’s. They won’t stock it again until next year. Kind of harshed my holiday mood…
SiubhanDuinne
Cannot edit my last partial sentence in #62. Please ignore,
Ultraviolet Thunder
@IowaOldLady:
Me too, 50 years ago. Flat, warm Vernors still works on an icky stomach. Do not try this with lesser ginger ales. It’s a waste of time.
SiubhanDuinne
@gbear:
Huh. The tradition in my family is eggnog for New Year’s Eve. How does TJ expect us to cope?
Gravenstone
@SiubhanDuinne: I’ve never seen an episode of Seinfeld either. Know the pop culture references from general conversation, but never bothered with the show. When it was airing, I worked nights so had better things to do with my limited up time prior to work than watch some mindless drek “about nothing”. In fact, that schedule meant I missed basically all popular television for the better part of 20 years. I do not consider myself lessened for the lack of it.
ranchandsyrup
@SiubhanDuinne: Maybe watch a few episodes before taking the plunge?
I was a young randroid too, to my eternal shame. SADFACE
Mike in NC
Wife’s cousin (AKA Freddie the Freeloader) finally hit the road after spending a week here. We went to the movies to celebrate and saw “American Hustle”. Best film of 2013.
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: I’ve never seen Star Wars. Really. Not one of them.
John Weiss
@gogol’s wife: I did meet Charles Boyer. I was twelve and my little brother and I were taking a stroll with our father. A black limo pulled up to the curb in front of us, and a dashing man in a red cloak exited. My father said, “Mr. Boyer! I’d like you to meet my sons.” So, sure enough, he shook our hands and said, “Welcome to Paris!”. Bill and I were dumbfounded. Our father just grinned.
SiubhanDuinne
@Gravenstone:
Yes, that was pretty much my situation. I didn’t work nights in the strict sense of the term, but I had a schedule of traveling and official (evening) events that made it really challenging to keep up with a weekly TV program. Also, I have a kind of knee-jerk negative reaction to almost anything that is super-popular in pop culture (with a few notable exceptions), so there was a little part of me that felt slightly superior to all these people who had nothing better to do than watch a show about nothing. And yes, it was easy enough to stay on top of references to things like the Soup Nazi and Festivus, just listening to general conversation.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@SiubhanDuinne:
I’m a TV abstainer for the last 30+ years but I’ve caught bits of it here and there. We didn’t miss out on much in my opinion. If you were going to watch a lot of TV you probably watched that and enjoyed it. If you were going to watch only a little, pick something more substantial.
gogol's wife
@SiubhanDuinne:
You’re not missing anything, IMHO.
SiubhanDuinne
Can I just say, sometimes I love autocorrect. I typed the words “I didn’t work nights” in an above comment, and FYAC changed it to “I didn’t work Biggs,” which makes no fucking sense at all.
handsmile
@NotMax:
Many, many thanks for that Bierce poem! An author whose wit, irreverence, and fierce irony – among his qualities – always lifts my spirits.
Plucking down The Devil’s Dictionary, I find no entry for “Christmas” but here’s his definition of “CHRISTIAN”:
“n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”
@gogol’s wife:
As I’m always grateful for recommendations of “a good, if depressing read”, many thanks to you as well for the Tolstoy. And as I’ve not read “Resurrection,”, that adds to the anticipated pleasure.
It so happens that I am now re-reading his “Father Sergius” because last week I saw a 1918 silent film (“Otets Sergei”) based on the work, presented as part of a MOMA series on the Russian/French film production company, Films Albatros. The series is running through the end of this calendar year, should you wish to consider venturing into the urban hellhole (always especially hellacious this time of the year) from your bucolic retreat.
gogol's wife
@John Weiss:
Were you actually in Paris? Or had Boyer lost his mind?
You’re supposed to say to him, “Do you think it will ever take the place of baseball?”
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen: I saw the first one. Haven’t seen any of the others.
And I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies.
gogol's wife
@handsmile:
I taught “Father Sergius” this past semester. It’s got great moments, but doesn’t really hang together. I have wiped my memory disc from last semester, but as I recall he didn’t really finish it for publication. But not-the-best Tolstoy is better than most people’s best.
Anoniminous
@SiubhanDuinne:
Never seen Seinfeld either, either.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@handsmile:
Postcards or Accordion Crimes by E. Annie Proulx (author of Brokeback Mountain and The Shipping News). Both beautifully written and shot through with the dire sadness of the real world.
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: OH NO you have got to see the GF movies. 1 and 2. Skip 3. It sucked.
Mike E
@IowaOldLady: We ushers call each of the 3 balcony ramp ways at the old theater “vom”, which is shorthand for vomitorium.
Kristine
@SiubhanDuinne: Neither have I. I’ve picked up just enough from reviews/mentions over the years to know what people are talking about. Given that the series was supposedly about nothing at all, I figure that’s enough.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
@IowaOldLady:
An orgasm comes close, I suppose.
Sorry.
Anoniminous
@handsmile:
Since you watch silents I heartily recommend the Criterion DVD release of The Passion of Joan of Arc directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer and score by Richard Einhorn’s Voices of Light. (Here’s a sample.)
It will blow your mind.
schrodinger's cat
@SiubhanDuinne: I love Seinfeld, it is funny. It took a while to hit its stride in the first season and kinda ran out of juice towards the end of its 9 year run.
FYI: I remember doing survey of what appeals to different generations and Seinfeld is loved by GenX but boomers in my survey hated it without exception.
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen:
Well, you are not the first person to urge me to see GF #1 and #2 (complete with advice to skip #3, everyone agrees).
But as you can tell, if I am ever taking a trivia quiz, I will go to great lengths to avoid categories smacking of “pop culture.”
IowaOldLady
@Mike E: I read about vomitoriums. What’s the connection to the ramps?
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): I thought of that after I posted. It’s a clear possibility.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Open thread?
Son cut through his thumbnail while slicing celery at work. Bled like stink.
Today, the bleeding happened again (at work) and he had to go to the ER
They bandaged the shit out of it, and gave him a tetanus booster.
Turns out his work bought Cutco knives, which we have been buying exclusively over the last year or so.
USA/Union made. People have always told us “you’ll cut a finger off”.
Turns out it’s true. Cutco knives will cut through a fingernail and into your nailbed pretty easy.
SiubhanDuinne
@schrodinger’s cat:
And I am, slightly, pre-Boomer (born 1942). I’ve found that there are profound generational, or at least cohort, differences even with my slightly younger siblings (born 1945 and 1946). I’m not going to spend much more time worrying about Seinfeld — on Festivus 2014, I shall merely nod knowingly at Anne Laurie’s and John Cole’s holiday-themed posts, and say to myself, “Ah yes, Festivus. I’ve heard of that.” And go about my business.
srv
@SiubhanDuinne:
This simply isn’t possible.
I have never watched an episode of Seinfeld either, but it so permeated every aspect of existtence that I pretty much know what happens in every one.
It’s like saying you never heard rap, or don’t know who JR Ewing is. You’d have to be a prisoner in a North Korean missile plant.
schrodinger's cat
@SiubhanDuinne: I have only seen the first GF movie. It was too bloody for me, so I never got around to seeing the second one.
BTW saw Source Code this weekend, wrong about quantum mechanics but an interesting concept. Has anyone else seen it?
SiubhanDuinne
@srv:
What’s rap?
raven
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): A dull knife will cut you worse!
http://asian-fusion.com/704/why-sharp-knives-are-safer-than-dull-ones/
burnspbesq
I have seen Seinfeld.
I am much the worse for the experience.
gbear
@SiubhanDuinne: I know. It’s weird they stop stocking it before Christmas.
Re: Seinfeld. I’ve only watched 3-4 episodes and it never did much for me, but I’ll confess I stopped watching TV long before the series started.
Mike E
@IowaOldLady: Click the blue linky…it literally means “spew forth”. In our theater, it’s “three exits, no waiting.”
IowaOldLady
@Mike E: Oh cool. We were in a Roman ampitheater in Arles last year, and it was amazing how quickly they said they could empty it.
Anne Laurie
@IowaOldLady: Not that I enjoy being the resident Eeyore, but you do know that unexplained vertigo / vomiting is one of the symptoms of a “hidden” heart attack, especially for postmenopausal women?
Baud
@schrodinger’s cat:
I thought the alternate endings were really cool.
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: Many years ago I used to be that person who was the pop quiz queen; let’s say from age 20 – 32. Now I pick up People Magazine and I know NO ONE in there. Unless George Clooney is in there. Also? I do not know any singers unless it’s Elton John or Billy Joel. Whenever I hear a song that I like, I kid you not, I call my friend Devon, who is NINE years old and I ask her. She gets it right every time. Yeah I am 51, I don’t feel 51, but I am 51.
IowaOldLady
@Anne Laurie: I didn’t know that. Thank you for telling me, Annie. I’ll check it out.
Helen
@burnspbesq: No No No. “The contest” was by far the funniest thing on TV. When Kramer came in and slapped his money down and said “I’m out” Holy crap. I still laugh now thinking about it
gbear
@IowaOldLady: Did Nickelback play there?
Mike E
@Baud: David Bowie’s son directed it, a decent sci fi thriller. I thot Moon was excellent, also. Too.
Steeplejack
@gogol’s wife:
Which translation?
schrodinger's cat
@Helen: The episode where they drive returnables in Newman’s mail truck to Michigan? That was pretty funny too.
IowaOldLady
@gbear: Not while I was there. They said they used the ring for bull fights.
Citizen_X
@Helen:
There are only three, and don’t let anybody tell you different.
SiubhanDuinne
@Dead Ernest:
“Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, and threw up.”
geg6
@schrodinger’s cat:
Well, I’m technically a Boomer (but really Gen Jones, the Boomer leftovers) and I loved Seinfeld. But you’re right. It took time to get it right and it had a hilariously good long run. The last season was the weakest since the first and the last episode sucked. But other than that, I liked it a lot. Haven’t watched it in years, so I’m not sure how well it stands up.
On another topic, has anyone heard anything about the BJ pet calendar?
MikeJ
@Citizen_X: Also two Godfather movies and three Indiana Jones.
Baud
@Mike E:
I didn’t see it. I was just trying to make a lame QM joke. I saw Moon, however. Good movie.
raven
As the Falcons do their best to fuck up their draft position.
Anne Laurie
@IowaOldLady: Not Dramamine, Bonine — aka meclizine (or Dramamine II). I’ve had vertigo problems (labyrintitis) all my life, and my doctor finally got tired of writing up prescriptions & told me to just double up on the Bonine.
Just be careful about driving / operating heavy machinery when you take the stuff, because it will make you spacey. IMO, spacey is far better than vomity!
Mike E
@Helen: @schrodinger’s cat: I tried to describe the show to my daughter as the ultimate “nothing” sitcom; every situation ultimately leads nowhere. It depicted life in Manhattan to a tee, tho. Too.
SiubhanDuinne
@Helen: I am two decades older than you, but you are describing my pop culture life to a T. (Except for me, George Clooney is a brash young come-lately. But I do know who he is.) but yeah, that whole People magazine thing is just weird.
When I hear songs I like, I rely on the Shazam or Sound Hound app on my iPad to identify song and singer. I may rename them Devon 1 and Devon 2 in tribute to your knowledgeable young friend.
geg6
@Helen:
Agreed. Spongeworthy, too.
ETA: The Chinese restaurant one, too.
debbie
@IowaOldLady:
Down here in Ohio too!
When I was down with the flu last winter, nothing got me back on the road to recovery like that vitamin water stuff.
Helen
@SiubhanDuinne: Oh please do. She is wonderful.
IowaOldLady
@SiubhanDuinne: That’s hard on the people in the street.
SiubhanDuinne
@gogol’s wife:
I just recently discovered “How Much Land Does a Man Need?”
Wow.
Heliopause
Bah. Humbug.
catclub
@Helen: “How the hell did the President of Target get my email address?”
This (well similar) happened to us! Suddenly, every merchant where we use our main Visa card knows our email address.
(Or at least two.)
PurpleGirl
@Gravenstone: I’ve seen bits and small pieces of a handful of Seinfeld shows. I was never impressed enough to watch a whole episode. And yes, from commercials and news commentary and other venues you can pick up a general idea of what the series was about. It was enough for me. But if people really get into Festivus, that’s all right with me.
schrodinger's cat
@geg6: I liked those too! Scott Patterson in that episode was Luke Danes in Gilmore Girls another one of my favorite shows.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
@raven:
Oh for sure. A scredriver is even worse. If you plan on cutting a fingertip off, a sharp knife is the implement of choice.
Not to be construed as directions. Your mileage will vary. Do not cut your finger off as a result of my post, dumbass.
Anne Laurie
@IowaOldLady:
When we were little, my mom believed in flat ginger ale. Ginger as a anti-emetic is very old folk medicine, and Emetrol is basically undiluted sugar syrup. Vernor’s has way more ginger than the Canada Dry brand my mom used, so I’m sure it’s more ‘therapeutic’, for very suggestible values of therapy. Although I think, for kids at least, it was mostly about rehydration, Pedialyte not being available OTC.
(I will admit giving flat ginger ale to our first dog, when he got carsick on an out-of-town trip and refused to drink anything for many hours. It did rehydrate him!)
raven
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): Try an oyster knife.
gogol's wife
@Steeplejack:
I’m reading the one I had lying around, which is Louise Maude, Oxford World’s Classics. It’s okay. I have no idea if there are better ones. I have a feeling P&V didn’t bother with this one, but I don’t know.
SiubhanDuinne
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
John Cole’s father may have some views on that.
gogol's wife
@SiubhanDuinne:
If you liked that one, you’ll like Resurrection.
PurpleGirl
Handsmile: In a previous thread I asked if your comment was a reference to the St. Thomas Church choir. I think I’m going there for the Service of Carols and Readings tomorrow. Will you be there?
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Screwdriver. Fuck.
Anne Laurie
@SiubhanDuinne: To be honest, I watched a handful of episodes (the ‘master of my domain’ one, the puffy shirt one, the toilet paper one, the finale) and thought to myself “These characters are living the life that I deliberately left NYC after high school to avoid.” As you say, it’s possible to keep up with the pop-cult references without actually watching the show.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
@raven:
Sounds about right. I’ll pass.
raven
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): The bonus was the nasty oyster stuff that was on that dull point as I jammed it in my palm. Really helped the healing. The worst for me was the limb saw that I raked across my knuckles. Dumbass indeed.
Comrade Dread
If ever I own a retail store or food franchise, I’m going to instruct my employees to wish everyone a Hapry Chrismakkwanzadan.
Your move, Fox News. Your move.
Helen
@geg6: And let’s be honest. The Mel Torme episode. Only Seinfeld and South Park (where Cartman competes in the special Olympics; I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen there.) can do that because they make fun of EVERYONE. (Schindler’s List episode, anyone?). I have sister who is mentally retarded. Yeah I know that is currently politically incorrect, but believe me – we say that Mary is retarded in the same way we say she is blond. It is descriptive; not pejorative. Yeah we laughed at those episodes.
Anne Laurie
@Helen: I’ve seen three of the six big-screen SW productions — two of them under protest. Let me assure you, if you’re old enough to vote, you’re old enough to skip Star Wars. It’s one of those world-building exercises that only really works its magic, as far as I can tell (and I was a first-generation Trekkie, so it’s not like my tastes are so elitist), if you’re exposed to it before you finish puberty.
IowaOldLady
@Anne Laurie: What I liked about the first Star Wars was that it was a used universe. Instead of shiny machines, you had the Millennium Falcon and droids that broke down. It gave an element of reality.
raven
Last game in the Stick. I remember watching the world series in a bar in Athens when the quake hit. A pretty famous poet walked in asked what was up. When I told him it hit SF he turned white as a sheet, his son lived there. He was ok.
raven
OH puke, I’m in Lynchburg and they just ran an ad for Liberty U during a time out. The have this hipster looking dude flacking for “The Largest Christian University in the WORLD”.
geg6
@IowaOldLady:
Me, too. I remember being so impressed by that.
Steeplejack
@SiubhanDuinne:
I’d say just watch some reruns on TV to get started. The episodes are mostly self-contained. TBS has a four-episode block every weeknight starting at 5:30 EST. You’ll pick up the character tics and interactions pretty quickly, and if you really get into it you can do the whole binge-watching thing.
My memory is that the first season was really uneven and not quite together, and the show didn’t really take off until the second one.
Special seasonal note: the legendary “Festivus” episode is on TBS at 7:00 p.m. EST tomorrow.
jl
I read that the House GOPer (edit: I meant GOPer House candidate) who said Duck Dynasty dude was Rosa Parks explained today that he did not mean it “literally”.
That’s too bad. If he had honestly confused the two and thought they were the same person, there would be some excuse for it.
Anne Laurie
@Helen:
I am 58, and find NYMag’s Vulture.com a great popcult cheat sheet. Don’t read much beyond the front page and the ‘most viewed’, but it lets me recognize what used to be called “water cooler” names & tropes — so I don’t have to actually listen to ‘Kimye’ or watch GoT (not that there’s anything wrong with GoT, there’s only just so many hours in my day).
Paddy
@IowaOldLady: My mom and nana would always use coke syrup for nausea, and witchhazel for ear aches, etc etc etc. I survived.
Hope you’re feeling better soon, holidays suck when you feel sucky.
Steeplejack
@SiubhanDuinne:
The first two Godfather movies are masterpieces. I think you would enjoy them. They are far more than the lurid set pieces and quotable lines that stick out in pop-culture memory.
Anne Laurie
@SiubhanDuinne: The thread, you have won it.
GregB
Someone wished me a “Happy Holidays” today and I was livid. I screamed at them: “It’s Happy Festivus!” So tired of political correctness.
smedley the uncertain
@IowaOldLady: Yeah, I was told the same thing. I didn’t know how much to use, and thought if one box was good, a couple three would be better.
Got some strange looks from the ladies at the check out stand…
Didn’t really work.
Paddy
@SiubhanDuinne: I’m even worse. I watched and did not like at all. But then it’s not a secret since I roll my eyes and refuse to watch if the scoocher falls on it. I was aware enough to keep up with the memes (sponge worthy) but I could just get that from the atmosphere, not watching.
Yatsuno
I’m still alive. I think. Had first minor setback today but it can be sort of worked around some.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Paddy:
My dad is a Pharmacist and he dosed our nausea with Coke fountain syrup sometimes. I don’t recall that it worked but it tasted far better than the alternatives.
Anne Laurie
@Paddy: Yeah, Emetrol is basically cherry-flavored coke syrup… and, IIRC, rather less spendy than the VCS ‘true original’.
Steeplejack
@gogol’s wife:
I haven’t read any of Tolstoy’s “not the big novels” stuff since college 40 years ago, so I’m sure that the state of the art has moved well beyond Constance Garnett.
IowaMiddleAgedGuy
@iowaoldlady You didnt get some bad lutefisk at a church dinner somewhere did you? Tis the season for that sort of thing
A Humble Lurker
@Mike E:
‘cept maybe for the lack of non-white people maybe.
@Yatsuno:
Take care of yourself man, and don’t let yourself give up in the face of set backs. Do remember to rest though.
Paddy
@Anne Laurie: What Anne Laurie said.
snetzky
@iowaoldlady You didnt get some bad lutefisk at a church dinner somewhere did you? Tis the season for that sort of thing. Iowa is almost as bad as Mn. Im a life long Iowan, but Ive heard stories.
A Humble Lurker
There’s good lutefisk?
Dead Ernest
@SiubhanDuinne:
Dear Heart, you never fail to delight.
Thanks ??
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
If he’s not wearing pajamas, I don’t think it counts.
Ruckus
@SiubhanDuinne:
Seinfeld is on DVD on Netflix. I recommend trying one and seeing. I enjoyed it when it was on TV but can’t be bothered to try it again. There are many great shows but you almost have to see them all to get the show. If you have the time…
Ruckus
@schrodinger’s cat:
No one asked me.
snetzky
@snetzky: oh and FYWP for the duplicate posts.
Southern Beale
Hmm …. wonder if there’s any meat to this:
SiubhanDuinne
@gogol’s wife: Thanks! I’ll have a look.
satby
@Baud: Well played.
Groucho48
@handsmile:
If you want good but depressing, you can’t do better than Jude the Obscure, by Thomas Hardy.
Tolstoy is my favorite author. Resurrection is almost on a par with War and Peace and with Anna Karenina but it does reflect Tolstoy’s increasing focus on religion and living the simple, pure life and can be didactic at times.
snetzky
@A Humble Lurker: I had some that quite palatable in Madrid, Ia where my wifes folks come from. lots of swedish and norwegian grandmas who actually know how to cook it.
Ruckus
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
The sharper the better. A razor knife will cut right to and part way through the bone. Tendon, artery, nerve bundle. The whole lot. And it doesn’t even hurt at all.
Go ahead and ask me how I know.
Dead Ernest
@Yatsuno:
Hi Yutsy,
Thought you already had a First Setback; the transfer from bed to gurney for lung X-ray.
…then again, if you’ve forgotten that, you may also forget this setback too.
“Yup, made it all the way through it all with just one setback. Piece of cake.”
Ruckus
@Paddy:
My grandfather used gasoline to clean cuts and he lived to 84. Dr told him around 1915 to use it. Had to explain that yes it probably killed germs, but it also kills living cells. The things medicine used to do not even that long ago that really are bad for you is a long list.
Yatsuno
@Dead Ernest: Oh. That one wasn’t in the rehab unit. I reset the countdown after I moved. Sowwy.
divF
@SiubhanDuinne:
As the son of an Italian immigrant family (my father’s side – Dad was born around the same time as Michael Corleone, and his father came to the US before WW I), one of the small things I loved about GF I were all the details of Italian-American family life in New York during the late 40’s and 50’s. Sunday dinners at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, with various of my uncles arguing with each other; playing in the yard still dressed in your church clothes; the food (Clemenza’s recipe for the ragu he was making for the men when they went to the mattresses); the small garden with tomatoes and grapes in the backyard – all spot-on from my early childhood memories.
No Mafia connections, though. My father’s family was from Bari, and Dad was told as a kid by my grandmother that he could play with the kids from all of the other ethnic groups in the neighborhood (the east 20’s was pretty diverse in those days), except for the Sicilians – they were “too rough”.
Dead Ernest
@Ruckus:
I doubt there will ever be a time people will not be able to say this, and be right.
Medicine is like that …Yeah, it is.
Dead Ernest
@Yatsuno:
My mistake.
Your step of resetting with relocating was a smart idea.
StringOnAStick
@SiubhanDuinne: You don’t have to be in Lynchburg in order to be ‘blessed’ with ads for Liberty U; we’ve had them lately via Hulu Plus. For increased entertainment value, Hulu Plus has been showing them to us while we watched a BBC comedy called The Wrong Mans, featuring murder, suggestion of gay sex, a party with topless women and lewd dancing, and a nearly naked guy stuffed in the trunk of a car. Quite a fun little show really, only 6 episodes and its been quite fun through the 4th one.
handsmile
[Apologies for the following belated replies, but just now returning here after eating dinner:]
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
To tell you the truth, I’ve not been able to sustain much interest in Proulx’s fiction, other than The Shipping News (my introduction) and a handful of short stories. But I will be checking out these titles. Anyone who lauds the glories of “801 Live” (as you once did on a music thread here months and months ago), is, in my opinion, a person whose cultural recommendations must be accorded the utmost respect.
@Anoniminous:
I’m grateful for your recommendation of that specific release, but please know that The Passion of Joan of Arc first blew my mind some decades ago. And still does: just a few months ago, I saw a version without English intertitles; perhaps superfluous anyways. One of the greatest masterpieces of the universal visual language of cinema. Let me mention as well that only last week, I saw again after a number of years, Dreyer’s once-controversial final film, Gertrud.
@PurpleGirl:
I was happy to see your comment there and replied to you at that thread’s unspooled end (yet another late return). Short answer here: I’ll be at Trinity Church’s Christmas Eve concert.
Ruckus
@Dead Ernest:
I don’t disagree but I do think that it was much worse around the turn of the 20th century. Lots of new chemicals/ideas about medicine without a lot of proof about any of it. At least now there is somewhat of a process to weed out the truly dangerous.
ETA I knew several people who worked at a biomedicine company that has 2 or 3 meds for unusual genetic diseases, one of whose job it was to produce and track FDA approval/testing data. It is a process for sure now.
handsmile
@SiubhanDuinne:
A belated reply to you as well from a previous thread: how much I envy you that you’ve sung those Britten choral works! To be in the midst of proclaiming such beauty!
As you may know, 2013 is Britten’s centennial year, so a great deal of his orchestral, chamber and vocal works have been performed here in NYC. In April, the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Robert Spano (who I adored when he was the music director of the now-moribund Brooklyn Philharmonic) will be performing his “War Requiem” at Carnegie Hall. (Do I recall correctly that Atlanta (or nearby) is your home ground?)
Now as for never seeing “Seinfeld”….Confess?! Sing it loud and proud! This too, I envy you. That show should have a warning from the Surgeon General: harmful to one’s wit and comic health. I believe the OED now includes it as one of the definitions of “smug.”