Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Tick tock motherfuckers!

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Giving in to doom is how we fail to fight for ourselves & one another.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Festivus, The Holiday for the Rest of Us

Festivus, The Holiday for the Rest of Us

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Frank Costanza: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”
Cosmo Kramer: “What happened to the doll?”
Frank Costanza: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!”
Kramer: “That must have been some kind of doll.”
Frank Costanza: “She was.”

It’s a beautiful thing.

Reader Interactions

185Comments

  1. 1.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    As I posted below, I am going to be baking tomorrow for my annual gift to my neighbors, breakfast, cinnamon bread, cinnamon rolls, apple muffins and fresh donuts. I started the tradition when my neighbor was unemployed and have carried it on now she has a job. I have a bread machine and I love to bake. Lowes credit will decide whether or not I get a new range to do the baking or if I have to make do with my toaster oven.

  2. 2.

    Mnemosyne

    I always wondered if Frank Costanza was in some kind of witness protection program. I mean, come on, we’re supposed to believe he’s a Roman Catholic who belongs to the Knights of Columbus?

    No wonder he had to come up with his own holiday — the strain of the charade was too much for him!

  6. 6.

    Loneoak

    Cole, you should honor the holiday by making an “Airing of Grievances” category. FSM knows it would get used a lot.

  7. 7.

    Dead Ernest

    Knowing Cole just forgot to include ‘Open Thread,’ I’m gonna assume it and ask;
    Anyone heard if our Iowa Old Lady, is okay?

    Earlier today she commented that she’d felt woozy while working out, nauseous a little later back home.
    / the genuine sort of concern.

  12. 12.

    BGinCHI

    I always suspected Frank Costanza of being an Anti-Dentite.

    Though I always admired his “stop short” move.

  13. 13.

    WaterGIrl

    @BGinCHI: You know, if I were going to make up a word that might catch on or might be associated with my name in the future, I’m not sure I would choose vomity. :-)

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    Ambrose Bierce, “An Unmerry Christmas” (entire poem):

    No, friends–no Christmas here, for I have sworn
    To keep my heart hard and my knees unworn.
    Enough you have of jester, player, priest:
    I as the skeleton attend your feast,
    In the mad revelry to make a lull
    With shaken finger and with bobbing skull.
    However you my services may flout,
    Philosophy disdain and reason doubt,
    I mean to hold in customary state,
    My dismal revelry and celebrate
    My yearly rite until the crack o’ doom,
    Ignore the cheerful season’s warmth and bloom
    And cultivate an oasis of gloom.

  16. 16.

    IowaOldLady

    @WaterGIrl: But vomity is so accurate. And needed. Nauseated is boring and Latinate. At least I think it’s Latin derived rather than Greek?

  17. 17.

    ronin122

    You’re an asshole misanthrope who needs to get laid and post more pets pictures. Also you’re a half-Obot, half closet-still-a-Republican. Or something. Did I air out all the relevant grievances? Someone else please take over the feats of strength for me.

  19. 19.

    shelly

    Enough you have of jester, player, priest:
    I as the skeleton attend your feast,
    In the mad revelry to make a lull
    With shaken finger and with bobbing skull.

    Jacob Marley says he’ll bring the spinach dip.

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    @IowaOldLady:

    I once had to send my husband out for a bottle of this at 5 am when we discovered after my knee surgery that I get the vomity side effects of Vicodin. Good times, good times.

    Also, too, IANA doctor, but my suspicion with sudden onset dizziness and vomiting is usually food poisoning.

  21. 21.

    Helen

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: You have my address right? Just cinnamon rolls please. If you don’t have my address, I will give you my address right here. Apparently it does not matter. I was caught up in the Target thing, My identity was not stolen, but I shopped there during the “target” (yeah no pun intended) period. Two days ago I got an email from Target’s president assuring me that I should have not fear. Here’s the problem. I shopped there with a Citibank Mastercard. How the hell did the President of Target get my email address???? Did he call Citibank and say “Hey buddy – give me Helen’s email address?” and did Citibank say “Sure, dude; anything else?”

    Yeah there’s the problem right there. My only regret is that this shit did not happen to Walmart!

  23. 23.

    IowaOldLady

    @Mnemosyne: I wrote down the name of that medicine and will pick it up when I grocery shop tomorrow (which I was hoping to do today).

    I sent Mr daw out for dramamine because someone told me that her doc says it has the same active ingredient that they give you in the hospital, just at a lower dose.

    My favorite errand for Mr daw too place a few years back when our dog got skunked very early in the morning. Someone at the gym told me that Massengil douche would take away the smell, so I sent him out on an emergency, 5:30 AM run for douche.

  27. 27.

    satby

    IOL, glad you’re better! I’ve heard of at least 3 people in different parts of the country with this bug, the good news is that all three shook it off after a day of misery.

  31. 31.

    satby

    As to Festivus: I’m sick of stupid people. they’re infesting the country like fleas on a dog, and I am tired of trying to reason or even talk with any of them.

  32. 32.

    WaterGIrl

    Getting ready to leave town for the holiday. Am I a bad person if I leave my kitchen a mess? I am packed and don’t feel like doing any cleaning at all.

  33. 33.

    Dead Ernest

    @IowaOldLady:
    Not as good as Eternal Emesis Ending (when else does laying down on the bathroom floor, a hand still caressing the precious coolness of the porcelain, feel so glorious?) – none-the-less, a pleasure to check back here and read your message.*
    Glad you feel better, that you’re okay.

    *I’m, perhaps, not the only one here who believes that it will be my comment that will determine the conclusion of any thread.

  35. 35.

    Helen

    @WaterGIrl: “Bad?” No. but think about it. How crappy will it feel if you come back to a messy kitchen? It’s gotta be cleaned. Might as well do it now.

  36. 36.

    shelly

    m I a bad person if I leave my kitchen a mess? I am

    Are you the only one who’ll be coming back to the mess? Then who cares? As Julia Child would say, “Who is there to see.”

  37. 37.

    Dead Ernest

    @WaterGIrl:

    @BGinCHI: You know, if I were going to make up a word that might catch on or might be associated with my name in the future, I’m not sure I would choose vomity. :-)

    Being eternally remembered has its price.

  40. 40.

    WaterGIrl

    @shelly: No. Sadly, the people coming by to take care of my kitties will see the awful mess.

    But I’m feeling kind of puny so I think I’m headed to bed and will clean the kitchen in the morning.

  45. 45.

    trollhattan

    @gogol’s wife:

    Local restaurant–a very good one–had an outbreak that affected staff and customers. It was an ugly week or two for them so yes, it can happen to anybody. Evidently it’s uber-communicable.

    Remains a perfectly good reason to not go on a cruise, regardless.

  46. 46.

    Baud

    @satby:

    I’m sick of stupid people. they’re infesting the country like fleas on a dog, and I am tired of trying to reason or even talk with any of them.

    Yet here you are.

  47. 47.

    gogol's wife

    If anyone’s looking for a good, if depressing read, I’m re-reading Tolstoy’s Resurrection and am blown away by it. It’s not really a novel, but it is the most devastating description of how the world works, of how the rich live off the blood of the poor. It is full of the most amazing metaphors illustrating the process. But I think you can’t understand it unless you’re at least 50 years old.

  48. 48.

    Mnemosyne

    @IowaOldLady:

    My mom used to give me liquid Dramamine when I was a kid, which was horrible because if you weren’t already nauseous, the horrendous taste of it would make it happen.

    I have an illusion that liquids stay down better than pills when I’m vomity, but there may not be any actual scientific basis for that belief.

  49. 49.

    Helen

    @WaterGIrl: Good answer. Every morning I get up; shower, and do all those things I need to do to get to work. And every morning I get up 10 minutes early and do the stupid stuff. And you know what 10 X 5 = 50 minutes adds to? Housework? DONE! So, the moral of the story is: Do it in the morning!

  50. 50.

    gogol's wife

    @trollhattan:

    I have many reasons for that! If I thought I’d meet Charles Boyer (Love Affair) or Cary Grant (the remake, An Affair To Remember), I might risk it, but they’re both dead.

  51. 51.

    Mnemosyne

    @WaterGIrl:

    At a minimum, get rid of things that will rot or will become even more difficult to clean if you leave them sitting for a week. But if you have non-urgent mail piled up on the counter, who cares?

  52. 52.

    max

    @IowaOldLady: But vomity is so accurate. And needed. Nauseated is boring and Latinate. At least I think it’s Latin derived rather than Greek?

    Other way around – nauseated is from Latin nauseare but that’s from Greek nausia (from naus meaning ‘ship’). Vomity is way easier – Vomity -> Vomit -> vomitus, Latin. (‘ea’ ending usually means something originally from the Greek – ungreekish endings like ‘it’ mean Latin.)

    Hope you feel better. I’m just over the three week whatever-it-was.

    @ronin122: You’re an asshole misanthrope who needs to get laid and post more pets pictures. Also you’re a half-Obot, half closet-still-a-Republican. Or something. Did I air out all the relevant grievances? Someone else please take over the feats of strength for me.

    I think we need a Locating of the Condiments to go with Feats of Strength & Airing of Grievances.

    max
    [‘A man should should always know where his mustard is.’]

  53. 53.

    Dead Ernest

    @IowaOldLady:

    But vomity is so accurate. And needed. Nauseated is boring and Latinate.

    While spending some time working in a small town, Nebraska hospital, the older folk taught me their favored word: ‘Urpy.’
    In addition to it being somewhat onomatopoeic, ever since. When I’ve asked a nauseous person, of any age and all over the country, even if the word was new to them, if they felt Urpy, their look of being understood has not only been universal, but occasionally even therapeutic.

  54. 54.

    max

    @max: I think we need a Locating of the Condiments to go with Feats of Strength & Airing of Grievances.

    A Feat of Strength would be putting the inflated tires on the front of the Subaru and the spare on the back and then driving the car out of the field.

    max
    [‘Because duh.’]

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne

    Well, I feel slightly better about my mom spending Christmas Day alone now — she says she signed up to help serve Christmas dinner at the local homeless shelter. As long as she isn’t spending the day sitting around feeling sorry for herself, it’s a win for the whole family as far as I’m concerned.

  58. 58.

    Dead Ernest

    @Helen:

    High school & College I believe.

    … Oh, and ‘barf’ would be the root of the name (sad, sad name) of the dog in Family Circle (sad, sad representation of a family).

  59. 59.

    IowaOldLady

    @Mnemosyne: That’s a great thing for your mom to do. She’ll feel good by doing good.

    When I was a kid we lived in Detroit, and my mom used to give us Vernors Ginger Ale when we were sick. By Motor City standards, Vernor’s was medicine.

  61. 61.

    Mnemosyne

    @IowaOldLady:

    She’s always preferred doing things for others than letting people do things for her, so I think it’ll be good for her. (She wanted to be a nurse, but she didn’t get her GED until she was past 40 and had a hard time with the science.)

    She also liked her Christmas gift from me, which was a donation to Fisher House, so thanks again to whoever reminded me about them. Hopefully she’ll think about donating to them instead of that frickin’ Fox News scam the Wounded Warriors Project.

  62. 62.

    Villago Delenda Est

    The condiments had to leave the refrigerator because Cole discovered they were holding a dance in there.

  63. 63.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Not for the first time, I am about to confess something on BJ that relatively few people in the real world know about me. As I have previously mentioned, I was a young(ish) Randroid. I have a terrible needle phobia. I have to fight constantly against my hoarder inclinations.

    Yet this confession may be the most shameful, and the most difficult I’ve ever posted.

    I have never seen Seinfeld.

    Not a single episode.

    There. I said it.

    I’m retired now and have a bit of extra time at my disposal. Would you recommend that I acquire the entire run and treat myself to a big old Seinfeld marathon? Or just a few selected famous episodes? Or is it too late and I’m beyond help?

    Grateful for any advice. Try to keep your shock, outrage and pity to a minimum.

    Now that I’m retired and have a bit of extra time

  64. 64.

    gbear

    I stopped at Trader Joe’s tonight to get some cat food and decided to buy some egg nog while I was there. It turns out that the season for egg nog is over at Trader Joe’s. They won’t stock it again until next year. Kind of harshed my holiday mood…

  66. 66.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @IowaOldLady:

    When I was a kid we lived in Detroit, and my mom used to give us Vernors Ginger Ale when we were sick. By Motor City standards, Vernor’s was medicine.

    Me too, 50 years ago. Flat, warm Vernors still works on an icky stomach. Do not try this with lesser ginger ales. It’s a waste of time.

  68. 68.

    Gravenstone

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’ve never seen an episode of Seinfeld either. Know the pop culture references from general conversation, but never bothered with the show. When it was airing, I worked nights so had better things to do with my limited up time prior to work than watch some mindless drek “about nothing”. In fact, that schedule meant I missed basically all popular television for the better part of 20 years. I do not consider myself lessened for the lack of it.

  70. 70.

    Mike in NC

    Wife’s cousin (AKA Freddie the Freeloader) finally hit the road after spending a week here. We went to the movies to celebrate and saw “American Hustle”. Best film of 2013.

  72. 72.

    John Weiss

    @gogol’s wife: I did meet Charles Boyer. I was twelve and my little brother and I were taking a stroll with our father. A black limo pulled up to the curb in front of us, and a dashing man in a red cloak exited. My father said, “Mr. Boyer! I’d like you to meet my sons.” So, sure enough, he shook our hands and said, “Welcome to Paris!”. Bill and I were dumbfounded. Our father just grinned.

  73. 73.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gravenstone:

    Yes, that was pretty much my situation. I didn’t work nights in the strict sense of the term, but I had a schedule of traveling and official (evening) events that made it really challenging to keep up with a weekly TV program. Also, I have a kind of knee-jerk negative reaction to almost anything that is super-popular in pop culture (with a few notable exceptions), so there was a little part of me that felt slightly superior to all these people who had nothing better to do than watch a show about nothing. And yes, it was easy enough to stay on top of references to things like the Soup Nazi and Festivus, just listening to general conversation.

  74. 74.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Yet this confession may be the most shameful, and the most difficult I’ve ever posted.

    I have never seen Seinfeld.

    Not a single episode.

    There. I said it.

    I’m a TV abstainer for the last 30+ years but I’ve caught bits of it here and there. We didn’t miss out on much in my opinion. If you were going to watch a lot of TV you probably watched that and enjoyed it. If you were going to watch only a little, pick something more substantial.

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Can I just say, sometimes I love autocorrect. I typed the words “I didn’t work nights” in an above comment, and FYAC changed it to “I didn’t work Biggs,” which makes no fucking sense at all.

  77. 77.

    handsmile

    @NotMax:

    Many, many thanks for that Bierce poem! An author whose wit, irreverence, and fierce irony – among his qualities – always lifts my spirits.

    Plucking down The Devil’s Dictionary, I find no entry for “Christmas” but here’s his definition of “CHRISTIAN”:

    “n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”

    @gogol’s wife:

    As I’m always grateful for recommendations of “a good, if depressing read”, many thanks to you as well for the Tolstoy. And as I’ve not read “Resurrection,”, that adds to the anticipated pleasure.

    It so happens that I am now re-reading his “Father Sergius” because last week I saw a 1918 silent film (“Otets Sergei”) based on the work, presented as part of a MOMA series on the Russian/French film production company, Films Albatros. The series is running through the end of this calendar year, should you wish to consider venturing into the urban hellhole (always especially hellacious this time of the year) from your bucolic retreat.

  78. 78.

    gogol's wife

    @John Weiss:

    Were you actually in Paris? Or had Boyer lost his mind?

    You’re supposed to say to him, “Do you think it will ever take the place of baseball?”

  80. 80.

    gogol's wife

    @handsmile:

    I taught “Father Sergius” this past semester. It’s got great moments, but doesn’t really hang together. I have wiped my memory disc from last semester, but as I recall he didn’t really finish it for publication. But not-the-best Tolstoy is better than most people’s best.

  82. 82.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @handsmile:

    As I’m always grateful for recommendations of “a good, if depressing read”, many thanks to you as well for the Tolstoy. And as I’ve not read “Resurrection,”, that adds to the anticipated pleasure.

    Postcards or Accordion Crimes by E. Annie Proulx (author of Brokeback Mountain and The Shipping News). Both beautifully written and shot through with the dire sadness of the real world.

  85. 85.

    Kristine

    @SiubhanDuinne: Neither have I. I’ve picked up just enough from reviews/mentions over the years to know what people are talking about. Given that the series was supposedly about nothing at all, I figure that’s enough.

  88. 88.

    schrodinger's cat

    @SiubhanDuinne: I love Seinfeld, it is funny. It took a while to hit its stride in the first season and kinda ran out of juice towards the end of its 9 year run.
    FYI: I remember doing survey of what appeals to different generations and Seinfeld is loved by GenX but boomers in my survey hated it without exception.

  89. 89.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Helen:

    Well, you are not the first person to urge me to see GF #1 and #2 (complete with advice to skip #3, everyone agrees).

    But as you can tell, if I am ever taking a trivia quiz, I will go to great lengths to avoid categories smacking of “pop culture.”

  91. 91.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    Open thread?

    Son cut through his thumbnail while slicing celery at work. Bled like stink.

    Today, the bleeding happened again (at work) and he had to go to the ER

    They bandaged the shit out of it, and gave him a tetanus booster.

    Turns out his work bought Cutco knives, which we have been buying exclusively over the last year or so.

    USA/Union made. People have always told us “you’ll cut a finger off”.

    Turns out it’s true. Cutco knives will cut through a fingernail and into your nailbed pretty easy.

  92. 92.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    And I am, slightly, pre-Boomer (born 1942). I’ve found that there are profound generational, or at least cohort, differences even with my slightly younger siblings (born 1945 and 1946). I’m not going to spend much more time worrying about Seinfeld — on Festivus 2014, I shall merely nod knowingly at Anne Laurie’s and John Cole’s holiday-themed posts, and say to myself, “Ah yes, Festivus. I’ve heard of that.” And go about my business.

  93. 93.

    srv

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I have never seen Seinfeld.

    This simply isn’t possible.

    I have never watched an episode of Seinfeld either, but it so permeated every aspect of existtence that I pretty much know what happens in every one.

    It’s like saying you never heard rap, or don’t know who JR Ewing is. You’d have to be a prisoner in a North Korean missile plant.

  94. 94.

    schrodinger's cat

    @SiubhanDuinne: I have only seen the first GF movie. It was too bloody for me, so I never got around to seeing the second one.

    BTW saw Source Code this weekend, wrong about quantum mechanics but an interesting concept. Has anyone else seen it?

  98. 98.

    gbear

    @SiubhanDuinne: I know. It’s weird they stop stocking it before Christmas.

    Re: Seinfeld. I’ve only watched 3-4 episodes and it never did much for me, but I’ll confess I stopped watching TV long before the series started.

  100. 100.

    IowaOldLady

    @Mike E: Oh cool. We were in a Roman ampitheater in Arles last year, and it was amazing how quickly they said they could empty it.

  101. 101.

    Anne Laurie

    @IowaOldLady: Not that I enjoy being the resident Eeyore, but you do know that unexplained vertigo / vomiting is one of the symptoms of a “hidden” heart attack, especially for postmenopausal women?

  103. 103.

    Helen

    @SiubhanDuinne: Many years ago I used to be that person who was the pop quiz queen; let’s say from age 20 – 32. Now I pick up People Magazine and I know NO ONE in there. Unless George Clooney is in there. Also? I do not know any singers unless it’s Elton John or Billy Joel. Whenever I hear a song that I like, I kid you not, I call my friend Devon, who is NINE years old and I ask her. She gets it right every time. Yeah I am 51, I don’t feel 51, but I am 51.

  105. 105.

    Helen

    @burnspbesq: No No No. “The contest” was by far the funniest thing on TV. When Kramer came in and slapped his money down and said “I’m out” Holy crap. I still laugh now thinking about it

  111. 111.

    Citizen_X

    @Helen:

    I’ve never seen Star Wars. Really. Not one of them.

    There are only three, and don’t let anybody tell you different.

  113. 113.

    geg6

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Well, I’m technically a Boomer (but really Gen Jones, the Boomer leftovers) and I loved Seinfeld. But you’re right. It took time to get it right and it had a hilariously good long run. The last season was the weakest since the first and the last episode sucked. But other than that, I liked it a lot. Haven’t watched it in years, so I’m not sure how well it stands up.

    On another topic, has anyone heard anything about the BJ pet calendar?

  117. 117.

    Anne Laurie

    @IowaOldLady: Not Dramamine, Bonine — aka meclizine (or Dramamine II). I’ve had vertigo problems (labyrintitis) all my life, and my doctor finally got tired of writing up prescriptions & told me to just double up on the Bonine.

    Just be careful about driving / operating heavy machinery when you take the stuff, because it will make you spacey. IMO, spacey is far better than vomity!

  119. 119.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Helen: I am two decades older than you, but you are describing my pop culture life to a T. (Except for me, George Clooney is a brash young come-lately. But I do know who he is.) but yeah, that whole People magazine thing is just weird.

    When I hear songs I like, I rely on the Shazam or Sound Hound app on my iPad to identify song and singer. I may rename them Devon 1 and Devon 2 in tribute to your knowledgeable young friend.

  121. 121.

    debbie

    @IowaOldLady:

    When I was a kid we lived in Detroit, and my mom used to give us Vernors Ginger Ale when we were sick. By Motor City standards, Vernor’s was medicine.

    Down here in Ohio too!

    When I was down with the flu last winter, nothing got me back on the road to recovery like that vitamin water stuff.

  126. 126.

    catclub

    @Helen: “How the hell did the President of Target get my email address?”

    This (well similar) happened to us! Suddenly, every merchant where we use our main Visa card knows our email address.
    (Or at least two.)

  127. 127.

    PurpleGirl

    @Gravenstone: I’ve seen bits and small pieces of a handful of Seinfeld shows. I was never impressed enough to watch a whole episode. And yes, from commercials and news commentary and other venues you can pick up a general idea of what the series was about. It was enough for me. But if people really get into Festivus, that’s all right with me.

  129. 129.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    @raven:

    Oh for sure. A scredriver is even worse. If you plan on cutting a fingertip off, a sharp knife is the implement of choice.

    Not to be construed as directions. Your mileage will vary. Do not cut your finger off as a result of my post, dumbass.

  130. 130.

    Anne Laurie

    @IowaOldLady:

    When I was a kid we lived in Detroit, and my mom used to give us Vernors Ginger Ale when we were sick. By Motor City standards, Vernor’s was medicine.

    When we were little, my mom believed in flat ginger ale. Ginger as a anti-emetic is very old folk medicine, and Emetrol is basically undiluted sugar syrup. Vernor’s has way more ginger than the Canada Dry brand my mom used, so I’m sure it’s more ‘therapeutic’, for very suggestible values of therapy. Although I think, for kids at least, it was mostly about rehydration, Pedialyte not being available OTC.

    (I will admit giving flat ginger ale to our first dog, when he got carsick on an out-of-town trip and refused to drink anything for many hours. It did rehydrate him!)

  132. 132.

    gogol's wife

    @Steeplejack:

    I’m reading the one I had lying around, which is Louise Maude, Oxford World’s Classics. It’s okay. I have no idea if there are better ones. I have a feeling P&V didn’t bother with this one, but I don’t know.

  135. 135.

    PurpleGirl

    Handsmile: In a previous thread I asked if your comment was a reference to the St. Thomas Church choir. I think I’m going there for the Service of Carols and Readings tomorrow. Will you be there?

  137. 137.

    Anne Laurie

    @SiubhanDuinne: To be honest, I watched a handful of episodes (the ‘master of my domain’ one, the puffy shirt one, the toilet paper one, the finale) and thought to myself “These characters are living the life that I deliberately left NYC after high school to avoid.” As you say, it’s possible to keep up with the pop-cult references without actually watching the show.

  140. 140.

    Comrade Dread

    If ever I own a retail store or food franchise, I’m going to instruct my employees to wish everyone a Hapry Chrismakkwanzadan.

    Your move, Fox News. Your move.

  141. 141.

    Helen

    @geg6: And let’s be honest. The Mel Torme episode. Only Seinfeld and South Park (where Cartman competes in the special Olympics; I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen there.) can do that because they make fun of EVERYONE. (Schindler’s List episode, anyone?). I have sister who is mentally retarded. Yeah I know that is currently politically incorrect, but believe me – we say that Mary is retarded in the same way we say she is blond. It is descriptive; not pejorative. Yeah we laughed at those episodes.

  142. 142.

    Anne Laurie

    @Helen: I’ve seen three of the six big-screen SW productions — two of them under protest. Let me assure you, if you’re old enough to vote, you’re old enough to skip Star Wars. It’s one of those world-building exercises that only really works its magic, as far as I can tell (and I was a first-generation Trekkie, so it’s not like my tastes are so elitist), if you’re exposed to it before you finish puberty.

  143. 143.

    IowaOldLady

    @Anne Laurie: What I liked about the first Star Wars was that it was a used universe. Instead of shiny machines, you had the Millennium Falcon and droids that broke down. It gave an element of reality.

  144. 144.

    raven

    Last game in the Stick. I remember watching the world series in a bar in Athens when the quake hit. A pretty famous poet walked in asked what was up. When I told him it hit SF he turned white as a sheet, his son lived there. He was ok.

  145. 145.

    raven

    OH puke, I’m in Lynchburg and they just ran an ad for Liberty U during a time out. The have this hipster looking dude flacking for “The Largest Christian University in the WORLD”.

  147. 147.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I’d say just watch some reruns on TV to get started. The episodes are mostly self-contained. TBS has a four-episode block every weeknight starting at 5:30 EST. You’ll pick up the character tics and interactions pretty quickly, and if you really get into it you can do the whole binge-watching thing.

    My memory is that the first season was really uneven and not quite together, and the show didn’t really take off until the second one.

    Special seasonal note: the legendary “Festivus” episode is on TBS at 7:00 p.m. EST tomorrow.

  148. 148.

    jl

    I read that the House GOPer (edit: I meant GOPer House candidate) who said Duck Dynasty dude was Rosa Parks explained today that he did not mean it “literally”.

    That’s too bad. If he had honestly confused the two and thought they were the same person, there would be some excuse for it.

  149. 149.

    Anne Laurie

    @Helen:

    Yeah I am 51, I don’t feel 51, but I am 51.

    I am 58, and find NYMag’s Vulture.com a great popcult cheat sheet. Don’t read much beyond the front page and the ‘most viewed’, but it lets me recognize what used to be called “water cooler” names & tropes — so I don’t have to actually listen to ‘Kimye’ or watch GoT (not that there’s anything wrong with GoT, there’s only just so many hours in my day).

  151. 151.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The first two Godfather movies are masterpieces. I think you would enjoy them. They are far more than the lurid set pieces and quotable lines that stick out in pop-culture memory.

  153. 153.

    GregB

    Someone wished me a “Happy Holidays” today and I was livid. I screamed at them: “It’s Happy Festivus!” So tired of political correctness.

  154. 154.

    smedley the uncertain

    @IowaOldLady: Yeah, I was told the same thing. I didn’t know how much to use, and thought if one box was good, a couple three would be better.

    Got some strange looks from the ladies at the check out stand…

    Didn’t really work.

  155. 155.

    Paddy

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m even worse. I watched and did not like at all. But then it’s not a secret since I roll my eyes and refuse to watch if the scoocher falls on it. I was aware enough to keep up with the memes (sponge worthy) but I could just get that from the atmosphere, not watching.

  157. 157.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @Paddy:

    My mom and nana would always use coke syrup for nausea, and witchhazel for ear aches, etc etc etc. I survived.

    My dad is a Pharmacist and he dosed our nausea with Coke fountain syrup sometimes. I don’t recall that it worked but it tasted far better than the alternatives.

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack

    @gogol’s wife:

    I haven’t read any of Tolstoy’s “not the big novels” stuff since college 40 years ago, so I’m sure that the state of the art has moved well beyond Constance Garnett.

  160. 160.

    IowaMiddleAgedGuy

    @iowaoldlady You didnt get some bad lutefisk at a church dinner somewhere did you? Tis the season for that sort of thing

  161. 161.

    A Humble Lurker

    @Mike E:

    It depicted life in Manhattan to a tee, tho. Too.

    ‘cept maybe for the lack of non-white people maybe.

    @Yatsuno:
    Take care of yourself man, and don’t let yourself give up in the face of set backs. Do remember to rest though.

  163. 163.

    snetzky

    @iowaoldlady You didnt get some bad lutefisk at a church dinner somewhere did you? Tis the season for that sort of thing. Iowa is almost as bad as Mn. Im a life long Iowan, but Ive heard stories.

  164. 164.

    A Humble Lurker

    You didnt get some bad lutefisk at a church dinner somewhere did you?

    There’s good lutefisk?

  166. 166.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven:

    OH puke, I’m in Lynchburg and they just ran an ad for Liberty U during a time out. The have this hipster looking dude flacking for “The Largest Christian University in the WORLD”.

    If he’s not wearing pajamas, I don’t think it counts.

  167. 167.

    Ruckus

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Seinfeld is on DVD on Netflix. I recommend trying one and seeing. I enjoyed it when it was on TV but can’t be bothered to try it again. There are many great shows but you almost have to see them all to get the show. If you have the time…

  170. 170.

    Southern Beale

    Hmm …. wonder if there’s any meat to this:

    Va. Attorney General race recount aborted–attempted theft by fraud exposed.

    […]

    he examination of ballots, rather than yielding the statistically likely spread of errors in which some votes first counted for Herring go to Obenshain, and some vice versa, was quintupling the original Herring margin.

    What can this mean? Coupled with Obenshain’s odd decision to abort the recount, which after all was costing him nothing, it can only mean that a balls-to-the-wall election fraud campaign had almost squeaked out an Obenshain victory, falling just short.

    Knowing that he was a guilty vote-stealing Repugnant, Obenshain cut the recount short via concession, because he knew that further ballot scrutiny risked exposure of the underlying conspiracy.

  173. 173.

    Groucho48

    @handsmile:

    If you want good but depressing, you can’t do better than Jude the Obscure, by Thomas Hardy.

    Tolstoy is my favorite author. Resurrection is almost on a par with War and Peace and with Anna Karenina but it does reflect Tolstoy’s increasing focus on religion and living the simple, pure life and can be didactic at times.

  176. 176.

    Dead Ernest

    @Yatsuno:
    Hi Yutsy,

    I’m still alive. I think. Had first minor setback today but it can be sort of worked around some.

    Thought you already had a First Setback; the transfer from bed to gurney for lung X-ray.

    …then again, if you’ve forgotten that, you may also forget this setback too.

    “Yup, made it all the way through it all with just one setback. Piece of cake.”

  177. 177.

    Ruckus

    @Paddy:
    My grandfather used gasoline to clean cuts and he lived to 84. Dr told him around 1915 to use it. Had to explain that yes it probably killed germs, but it also kills living cells. The things medicine used to do not even that long ago that really are bad for you is a long list.

  179. 179.

    divF

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    As the son of an Italian immigrant family (my father’s side – Dad was born around the same time as Michael Corleone, and his father came to the US before WW I), one of the small things I loved about GF I were all the details of Italian-American family life in New York during the late 40’s and 50’s. Sunday dinners at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, with various of my uncles arguing with each other; playing in the yard still dressed in your church clothes; the food (Clemenza’s recipe for the ragu he was making for the men when they went to the mattresses); the small garden with tomatoes and grapes in the backyard – all spot-on from my early childhood memories.

    No Mafia connections, though. My father’s family was from Bari, and Dad was told as a kid by my grandmother that he could play with the kids from all of the other ethnic groups in the neighborhood (the east 20’s was pretty diverse in those days), except for the Sicilians – they were “too rough”.

  180. 180.

    Dead Ernest

    @Ruckus:

    The things medicine used to do not even that long ago that really are bad for you is a long list.

    I doubt there will ever be a time people will not be able to say this, and be right.

    Medicine is like that …Yeah, it is.

  182. 182.

    StringOnAStick

    @SiubhanDuinne: You don’t have to be in Lynchburg in order to be ‘blessed’ with ads for Liberty U; we’ve had them lately via Hulu Plus. For increased entertainment value, Hulu Plus has been showing them to us while we watched a BBC comedy called The Wrong Mans, featuring murder, suggestion of gay sex, a party with topless women and lewd dancing, and a nearly naked guy stuffed in the trunk of a car. Quite a fun little show really, only 6 episodes and its been quite fun through the 4th one.

  183. 183.

    handsmile

    [Apologies for the following belated replies, but just now returning here after eating dinner:]

    @Ultraviolet Thunder:

    To tell you the truth, I’ve not been able to sustain much interest in Proulx’s fiction, other than The Shipping News (my introduction) and a handful of short stories. But I will be checking out these titles. Anyone who lauds the glories of “801 Live” (as you once did on a music thread here months and months ago), is, in my opinion, a person whose cultural recommendations must be accorded the utmost respect.

    @Anoniminous:

    I’m grateful for your recommendation of that specific release, but please know that The Passion of Joan of Arc first blew my mind some decades ago. And still does: just a few months ago, I saw a version without English intertitles; perhaps superfluous anyways. One of the greatest masterpieces of the universal visual language of cinema. Let me mention as well that only last week, I saw again after a number of years, Dreyer’s once-controversial final film, Gertrud.

    @PurpleGirl:

    I was happy to see your comment there and replied to you at that thread’s unspooled end (yet another late return). Short answer here: I’ll be at Trinity Church’s Christmas Eve concert.

  184. 184.

    Ruckus

    @Dead Ernest:
    I don’t disagree but I do think that it was much worse around the turn of the 20th century. Lots of new chemicals/ideas about medicine without a lot of proof about any of it. At least now there is somewhat of a process to weed out the truly dangerous.
    ETA I knew several people who worked at a biomedicine company that has 2 or 3 meds for unusual genetic diseases, one of whose job it was to produce and track FDA approval/testing data. It is a process for sure now.

  185. 185.

    handsmile

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    A belated reply to you as well from a previous thread: how much I envy you that you’ve sung those Britten choral works! To be in the midst of proclaiming such beauty!

    As you may know, 2013 is Britten’s centennial year, so a great deal of his orchestral, chamber and vocal works have been performed here in NYC. In April, the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Robert Spano (who I adored when he was the music director of the now-moribund Brooklyn Philharmonic) will be performing his “War Requiem” at Carnegie Hall. (Do I recall correctly that Atlanta (or nearby) is your home ground?)

    Now as for never seeing “Seinfeld”….Confess?! Sing it loud and proud! This too, I envy you. That show should have a warning from the Surgeon General: harmful to one’s wit and comic health. I believe the OED now includes it as one of the definitions of “smug.”

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