Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

This fight is for everything.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Consistently wrong since 2002

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

T R E 4 5 O N

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

You are here: Home / Music / For Betty

For Betty

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Just a little something to warm cockles (or some other body part) as we brace for impact:

Top of the day, the week, and the year to y’all.

Oh — and I can’t let a domesticated species moment pass by without recalling one of Tom Lehrer’s great throwaway lines. Speaking of Dr. Gall (inventor of the gall bladder, recently voted one of the Top Ten Organs…), Lehrer allowed as the good doctor had set out to be a vet, “majoring in animal husbandry, until they caught him at it.”

Think on that the next time you stuff a goose.

Perhaps I should stop now. Open thread, y’all

Reader Interactions

85Comments

  10. 10.

    jeffreyw

    I’ve got a 20 lb.fresh ham all brined and rubbed with rosemary and garlic in olive oil. Not yet decided how long or at what temperature to cook it.

    @200 degrees for 20 hours
    or
    @350ish for 6-7 hours

    If the former I need to start it pretty soon and let it go overnight.

    Whichever way, it will get a honey-mustard glaze finish at a high enough temp to crisp some skin.
    Anyone with any experience out there?

  11. 11.

    Ash Can

    Tom Lehrer is a national treasure. And Sesasme Street and Bela Fleck are no slouches either.

    Taking a lunch break here. Having a bowl of cereal (because I didn’t eat breakfast) and washing it down with a half a beer (which is sitting here unfinished from last night). Not to worry about the beer — it’s a substantial, highly-hopped affair that holds up well to sitting open and still tastes good (and maybe better) at room temp. Then I’ll pour myself another cup of joe and get back to getting the house Christmas-ready.

  12. 12.

    Royston Vasey

    Merry Christmas BJers!

    Looks like it’s going to be a nice day, around 24C.

    All the best and what not,

    RV in NZ

  13. 13.

    divF

    We’re off to my mother-in-law’s in Santa Rosa for the traditional Christmas Eve mob scene gathering (Madame is the oldest of five siblings, all of whom live in the Bay Area). after a light snack, we will go over to the assisted living facility in Oakmont and perform Christmas carols for the residents. Talents range from accomplished singers (Madame and her mother) to those of us who can carry at tune only if it is in a basket (me). But the residents seem to like it, as the attendance keeps growing every year.

  15. 15.

    Mustang Bobby

    Pate de foie gras is chopped liver with a good press agent.

    Oh, guess what: Sarah Palin never read the Duck Dynasty interview in GQ before she opened her tater trap. Quelle surprise. Her defense is that ZZTop wannabe was quoting “the Gospel” so he’s in the clear. Well, for one thing, he was quoting the Old Testament, which is not “the Gospel.” And second, it would be a flippin’ news flash if she had actually read the article.

  16. 16.

    tybee

    @jeffreyw:

    you doing that inside or outside?

    never done a fresh ham in the oven but on the grill i’d do 250 for about 10 or 12 hours, checking the thermo for an internal temp of 190 or so depending on if you want it sliced or pulled.

  19. 19.

    WaterGirl

    @jeffreyw: I cooked a ham on my new grill after I got it. Turned out great! I just did whatever the Internet told me to do. Though I did put a foil tray with some water under it to keep it moist.

    Wish I could eat at your house, but I’m on the train to Chicago. Wrong direction!

    Merry Christmas to all!

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    If this is any indication, looks like we’ve entered the ‘press tearing down their previous crush’ phase of Chris Christie coverage.

  23. 23.

    MaryJane

    @Royston Vasey:

    And a jolly Xmas to you, and all Balloon Juicers.

    Our Southern California temperature is the same as yours. I’m baking cookies with the windows wide open.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    OT, but more Noisemax goodness:

    O’Reilly: ‘Duck Dynasty’s’ Robertson Wrong on Gays

    O’Reilly makes the argument that all Robertson is doing is giving ammunition to those who portray “Christians” as bigoted assholes.

    Which of course in the case of Robertson and those defending him is an accurate portrayal.

    Still, props to O’Reilly for actually paying FUCKING ATTENTION to the words of Jesus, which many “Christians” do not.

  28. 28.

    feebog

    My golf plans got dumped because my golf partner’s Father had a heart attack yesterday. At least they think it was a heart attack. So I’m trying to stay out of Mrs. Feebog’s way while she prepares tomorrow’s dinner. Wrapped her gifts and got them under the tree just now as she is on her (supposedly) last trip to the store for a few more essentials. Wishing the entire BJ community a very Merry Christmas where ever you are. If you are going out tonight or tomorrow drive like everyone else is three sheets to the wind, because, most likely they are.

  29. 29.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @kindness:

    Anyone here follow Bela when he was with New Grass Revival or Strength In Numbers?

    My wife followed him all over the country, spending her vacations on the Bluegrass festival circuit. But it was just platonic despite her purchase and attempted operation of a banjo.

  30. 30.

    The Dangerman

    If Bela and the Flecktones come to your neighborhood, it is a terrific show; Fleck is phenomenal and Victor Wooten is just the best bassist in the world. Seen them twice, both great shows.

  32. 32.

    PeorgieTirebiter

    I’m in St. Paul meeting the wife’s family after putting it off for nine years. Solid, salt of the earth wingnuts across the board. They speak fondly of the good union jobs their parents had, curse the new pope and make plans to restore the family farm growing legalized pot. They don’t seem angry and they’re not mean spirited which makes them hard to dislike. Weirder than xmas in Texas. Good wishes to all ya’ll.

  33. 33.

    Royston Vasey

    @MaryJane:

    Board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt today!
    Just prepared the veggies redy for the visit of the rellies later.

    Christmas Day afternoon meal (neither lunch nor dinner):
    Barbeque with roast vegetables.

    8.30am and we’ve already got a sweat on.
    Going to be a good day

    Have a great day in sunny California!
    RV in NZ

  34. 34.

    jeffreyw

    @HinTN: I’m convinced – I just wrapped this bad boy with foil and stuck it into a 200ish oven. I have a temp probe inserted and will keep an eye on that. Most of the fresh ham recipes is see call for finish temps in the 150 degree range for carving, that’s what I intend. At least to get the Big Dinner out of the way. Most of the meat will get hacked off and saved for various sammiches and the like, bones boiled down for stock.

  35. 35.

    Royston Vasey

    Time for breakfast bubbles with strawberries.
    Nice way to kick start the days festivities

    Enjoy!

    RV in NZ

  36. 36.

    mdblanche

    @dmsilev: Damn, it’s tough to stay on top of the GOP klown kar kavalcade to 2016. A year ago they were trying to sell Thirsty McGuirk (R-Florida) as their Latino savior and now he seems to have disappeared completely. Nikolai Lobachevsky (R-Kentucky) and Major Kong (R-Calgary) both had their rises and falls, and even Vladimir Putin, the real Vladimir Putin. So now Baron Harkonnen is on his entirely predictable downswing. I think it’s Eddie Munster’s turn again for a month or two now. It’s going to be a long couple of years.

  38. 38.

    Gex

    @Villago Delenda Est: It turns out this whole Duck Dynasty thing is more of a battle in the GOP civil war than it really was between left and right. The establishment would very much like this war on gays to be winding down but the 27%ers really want to keep on going with the gay bashing (however politely caveated so as convey the fact that “no offense intended.)

    Even Santorum came out and said that Robertson went too far. He didn’t disagree with him. Just that what he said went too far. Which kind of makes me think he has a shot to be the candidate in 2016. Playing for the establishment but one of the bright stars to the extreme base.

  39. 39.

    Trollhattan

    @Royston Vasey:

    Daughter Unit has been riveted to the NORAD Santa website since flinging herself from bed this a.m., and would point out excitedly that you’ve already opened all your gifties. It’s not easy being a kid on the other side of the dateline, sometimes; she’s got a good twenty hours to go.

  40. 40.

    dmsilev

    @mdblanche: We could see the GOP start working their way through their B list (this current set is their A list; scary, isn’t it?). I’m pretty sure Tim Pawlenty is available and of course there’s always Newt.

  41. 41.

    Davis X. Machina

    @dmsilev: Do they even need an A list?

    The GOP took one of the worst-campaigning candidates I can remember, threw him up against one of the best, twice, and kept it close. In any sane world McCain Romney lose by Landon-esque margins.

    Such is the power of a brand name.

  43. 43.

    Cacti

    @Davis X. Machina:

    The GOP took one of the worst-campaigning candidates I can remember, threw him up against one of the best, twice, and kept it close. In any sane world McCain Romney lose by Landon-esque margins.

    Eh?

    Neither of the past two elections was particularly close.

  46. 46.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    We’re still working out holiday parties, meetings, sleeping arrangements, etc. while people are on the road traveling. This all depends on restoration of utility outages from the ice storm, sick people’s medical schedules and who visited who at Thanksgiving. Most of the negotiation is taking place through a family invitation Facebook message thread.
    Most disorganized holiday ever, thanks to weather and illness.
    I’m just rolling with it.

  47. 47.

    Redshift

    It’s 40°F here in the DC area, which seems pretty nice. No snow, but we’ve already had some this year, and since we have relatives doing the tourist thing after Christmas, not-too-cold will be nice.

    Happy Holiday of your choice, and a Secular American Christmas to everyone!

  48. 48.

    elmo

    Tom Lehrer! Memorized all his songs when I was a kid, and then discovered to my great joy that my freshman proctor was a student of his and knew him well. So he arranged for all of us to have dinner together.

    Mostly I remember him waxing rhapsodic about how much he hated California, my home state for which I was at the time deeply homesick. Dinner didn’t go well. Still love his songs, though.

  50. 50.

    drkrick

    @Roger Moore: For the bluegrass connection – Late in life, Bill Monroe defended himself from a disgruntled girlfriend with a fireplace poker using a copy of the Good Book, immortalized in bluegrass lore as the “I’m Using My Bible for a Blackjack” incident. Bill came out OK, but they had to rebuild his priceless mandolin from something close to spinters.

  52. 52.

    Libby's person

    I just stuffed a goose; luckily, I didn’t read this until after I put it in the oven! We’re having a friend over for dinner tonight, which is mostly (1) un-ignorable motivation clean up the house, and (2) an excuse to eat a delicious, fat-laden meal. Roast goose with sausage-sage-apple-cornbread stuffing; potatoes roasted in goose fat and drippings; collard greens seasoned with bacon; winter squash finished by pan-frying in butter… Our arteries thank us for not eating like this often! (However, the dog would like us to know that she could get used to this lifestyle!)

  57. 57.

    Corner Stone

    @Trollhattan: And yet, that’s the budget deal the Democratic Party agreed to before the break.
    For no reason anyone can articulate, except for excuses and misguided wishful thinking.

  61. 61.

    Roger Moore

    @Gene108:

    It was not Reagan v Mondale either. GOP candidate got 45%+ of the vote and carried 20+ states.

    Sure, but the flip side of that is that the Republicans will have a very hard time doing substantially better than Romney did in 2012. They may go into the election with 45% of the vote and 20+ states in their pockets, but their vote tops out not much better than that. There simply aren’t a lot of undecided voters or swing states, so the Republicans are in danger of winding up on the losing side of a series of not exactly landslide but not particularly close elections.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    @Karen in GA: Eh, it sounds to me like they are doing Christie a favor by burnishing his “bully” street cred.
    Nothing the base R likes better than someone in power abusing their position to hurt other people who aren’t them.

  73. 73.

    StringOnAStick

    Screaming windy here on the beer(ish)-brewing western side of Denver, but then again that isn’t that uncommon around here; the house isn’t shaking so it’s more of a ho hum wind. Still, the prediction is for windchill of -3 tonight. Makes me glad we aren’t driving over to see my predominantly wingnut, Foxified family until tomorrow AM.

    I think our antipodean friends have the better end of the deal: holiday travel in the middle of summer beats traveling during the dangerous weather season. Plus: beaches!

  75. 75.

    joel hanes

    I heard the bells on Christmas Day
    Their old familiar carols play
    And wild and sweet, the words repeat:
    “Peace on Earth! Goodwill to men!”

    Wishing all of you and all of us a right Merrie Christmas,
    and may the New Year bring you joy.

  77. 77.

    James E Powell

    @Corner Stone:

    Last year we learned that for Republicans the primaries are what matters. Then, once the nomination is won, the candidate can etch-a-sketch a new identity. We laughed at the time, but the corporate press/media let Romney do it. They will let Christie do it. If they don’t, there will be no horserace to talk about.

  79. 79.

    Hal

    I had a nice holiday argument with my Mother today about how it is not Obama’s fault her medicare secondary insurance rates go up every year. She’s at a point where her plan is very expensive for her, so of course, thanks Obama!

    Have her rates gone up every year? Yes. Has she looked for a cheaper plan? No. Then it was all but but but…

    I love my mother, but her and many of her friends are like this; older white people who think Obama has destroyed healthcare in America. Another friend of hers once said she opposed healthcare reform because it would make us like Canada, and in Canada you could not get cancer treatment in Canada, so Canadians have to go abroad. I give up on trying to argument logic with people who honestly think an entire country of people do not receive cancer treatments. I love the holidays.

  80. 80.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    DH is out Christmas Shopping (it is his tradition to do it on the Eve). He asked me for a list of things I wanted, I sat for an hour with paper and pen in hand while watching the Dr. Who marathon and came up with the following list.

    1) A bottle of nice wine.

    He looked at the list and expressed his displeasure at my lack of imagination. After he had been out shopping for a while we came to the compromise of him buying me a couple of stocking stuffers and me going to British Delights and buying as much food as I want. I love it when a plan comes together.

    Been baking all day, made Apple Cinnamon muffins, and cinnamon raisin bread, prepared the dough for the donuts and cinnamon rolls so I will just have to bake/fry them in the morning before delivering them to the neighbors. DH and I are having a hefty roasting chicken done on the rotisserie for dinner, with sage and onion stuffing and all the trimmings.

    Looking forward to watching the puppies open their presents in the morning.

  81. 81.

    raven

    Got out of Lynchburg without ONE word about politics. Now safe in Blacksburg with a bunch of liberals who are going to the UU for a quick candlelight!

  82. 82.

    Saltysally

    Thanks for the Tom Lehrer ref! pulled out my copies and enjoying them with pre supper cocktails! first discovered him in ’58, never gets old but I do here in FL.

  85. 85.

    kindness

    Cooking a 20 lb turkey today. Gotta have the left overs over the holiday and the big show is at the in-laws tomorrow.

    You folk cooking geese better be prepared to siphon off goose fat a couple times while cooking. Compared to turkeys & chickens, geese put out the juices.

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