Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

This fight is for everything.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

He really is that stupid.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

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Reader Interactions

138Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    A perfect message on a day when millions of children have just been given electronic gadgets as Christmas presents. Thanks, dpm!

  3. 3.

    Origuy

    Christmas message? Who does he think he is, the bleeding Queen? Did he deliver it from a top-story window of the Lubyanka?

  4. 4.

    Poopyman

    So I was awakened around 4:10 by the sirens as they came down the lane. It was too bright outside, and it didn’t take long to see my neighbor’s house about 150 feet away fully engulfed in flames. The first responders were the police and it was another 5 minutes before the first units of the three companies that eventually got here arrived. All they could do was keep it in check and make sure the wind didn’t carry the fire downwind – fortunately not towards any close houses.

    Right now most all of them are gone save the investigators and a crew searching for my neighbor, but it was a very hot fire.

    Merry Christmas.

  8. 8.

    Mystical Chick

    Merry/Happy to my fellow BJers. We took our two year-and-a-half old dogs with us to my cousin’s house for Christmas Eve. Bad idea. The usually well behaved one went spazzy, the blissfully not-bright one was calm but peed on my cousin’s rug twice and both got put away in the laundry room because they couldn’t handle the noise and confusion without losing their shit.

    Hubs takes it to heart when they misbehave and got himself all upset over it plus it was the year anniversary of his dad’s passing on December 19th. A Christmas Eve meltdown was not in my plans.

    Oh well. I’m here at home while he visits his side of the family because (no surprise to me) I’ve come down with some cold-ish thing after every single person in my office was in coughing and hacking their way through the day.

    Bleah. Although, unlike poor Poopyman’s neighbors, I still have a roof over my head.

    (Off to watch the Snowden video)

  9. 9.

    Poopyman

    @Baud: I was already up, of course, but there’s nothing like the knock of a sheriff’s deputy to tell you you might have to evacuate. Did I mention our house is wood framed and sided and about 200 years old? Thank FSM the wind was from the north.

  10. 10.

    Cassidy

    @Poopyman: Our suicide calls started yesterday around dinner. My family is coming up to spend Christmas Day here with me at the station, but I’m expecting to go to more of them. The next 48 hours is gonna be interesting.

  14. 14.

    kindness

    Working on my second cuppa joe. It’s a sweet day. Kids are just now stirring. The fun begins.

    Merry Christmas all.

  15. 15.

    Botsplainer

    Am wondering whether sugar cookies are actually worth it, considering that the makers of said goods always leave cleanup to me, and it took 2 solid hours to deal with the detritus.

  17. 17.

    Schlemizel

    @Poopyman:

    I was a firefighter for a large suburban department for a few years. It was a mix of rural post-war homes and giant McMansions, overall the community was well to do. I don’t think there was a winter holiday that went by without a serious call. It was painful to watch a family rousted from their home into the cold while seeing their cozy life melt in front of them. I hope your neighbors are all safe and all that was lost was things.

    Fireplaces were often the culprit; either they were burning boxes & wrapping paper which set the chimney on fire or they pulled the ashes out & dumped them into cardboard boxes or plastic trash bags (yes, seriously) and set them in the attached garage or out on the deck. Please be careful you ruin a lot of people holidays with a moment of carelessness.

  19. 19.

    Sir Laffs-a-lot

    Had a Christmas Day fire once. The people downstairs lost track of a candle. No damage to speak of, the Fire Station was 4 blocks away and the crew was great. Dinner got cold and the cats got scared; nothing else.

    Merry Christma to all and especially our great front pagers and tool proficient Blog Host.

  21. 21.

    YAFB

    Classy seasonal trolling, mistermix!

    To troll right back atcha, Snowden follows in a long tradition of Channel 4 Alternative Christmas Messages dating back to 1993 whose deliverers have included Brigitte Bardot, impressionist Rory Bremner (as the Princess of Wales), Sacha Baron Cohen (as Ali G), Sharon Osbourne, Marge and Lisa Simpson, Jamie Oliver, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

    Merry Christmas one and all!

  22. 22.

    Schlemizel

    @The Dangerman:

    Considering just a few short years ago he was recommending castration for people who leak sensitive information I an guessing he has gone through some changes before he got to the point he did it himself. My guess is he is a bit of a romantic (in the classical sense) and thought of himself being the hero on a golden steed if he thought this far ahead at all. He now finds himself a man without a country and a pawn being played by people with no regard for him or his well being. Putin’s Russia is not the loving arms he thought he would find. I imagine he is becoming more like the unibomber than people suspect.

    If he did this to himself (I’m not convinced one way or another) then this is a hell of his own making. If he was lead into this life there is not a place in hell hot enough for those people. Separate from what you think of him and what he has done, anyone with half a brain could have predicted his current situation, If he was induced to it the people who set him off did so without preparing him for the future and obviously with no support now that he desperately needs it. Life is not a Tom Clancy novel and this little flyspeck is being chewed up and shit out with no way to protect himself.

  23. 23.

    lamh36

    I wonder if there is a number to express the number of fucks I have to give about Snowden and his Christmas message (I’m guessing he has a PR firm working with him now)…oh wait yeah there is …ZERO. I have NMFTG.

    To the u mister mix and the rest of your BJers..Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

  31. 31.

    max

    @Botsplainer: Am wondering whether sugar cookies are actually worth it, considering that the makers of said goods always leave cleanup to me, and it took 2 solid hours to deal with the detritus.

    Well, I messed up my tuscan bread so I get to do it again today. I got it down.

    Anyways, go for it.

    max
    [‘Unless you’re on the edge of exhaustion, in which case nevermind.’]

  33. 33.

    Splitting Image

    What Christmas would be complete without a special greeting from a special friend of the blog? Open thread.

    Having just gotten my heat back on after 62 hours without power, all I have to say is Fuck You.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    That’s the John Cole Christmas Spirit!

    I thought Cole had cracked up long before now, but his recent “Stream of consciousness” posts indicate we may still be a long way from Peak Cole Crackup.

  40. 40.

    Schlemizel

    @Splitting Image:

    WOW! That must have sucked. Glad to hear you got power back on. Do you live in the frozen North? We lost power on New Years a few years back and it was below zero outside. We do have a fireplace & I started a couple of pots of water heating on the stove but it was unnerving. That only lasted about 4 hours, I can’t imagine having to go nearly 3 without power

  41. 41.

    srv

    And for those who don’t think about privacy and the NSA were ever holiday topics, here is none other than John G. Cole on the topic on Christmas Day, 2005.

    Increasingly, it is becoming clear to me that I was oddly naive about the activities of the NSA. Or maybe I was excessively and unrealistically paranoid.

  42. 42.

    muricafukyea

    Glorified reddit poster muckymux couldn’t resist reminding everyone he is just a hack with a Snowden fetish.

  48. 48.

    Ruckus

    @raven:
    Haven’t figured out if condolences or congratulations are in order. WV can be a beautiful place and I know several good people who live there. But it still feels like about 2 centuries ago.

  50. 50.

    MomSense

    Shoot, if only Santa had gotten this message before he brought my youngest a government/corporate surveillance device AKA tablet for Christmas. Unless….nah you don’t suppose Santa is in on this NSA stuff?! His naughty nice list is pretty comprehensive and there’s no way the elves could manage all of that and making the gifts.

    Damn, Santa sold us out. He’s worse than Bush.

    @Poopyman:

    So sorry for your neighbor and relieved to hear that you are safe.

  53. 53.

    Anybodybuther2016

    @cathyx: Yes. The middle finger salute to the traitor and the rest of the jackasses who polish his balls. Merry Christmas!

  58. 58.

    raven

    Ya’ll catch the dude from Oracle talking about how stupid it is to freak out about shit that American Express has been collecting for YEARS?

  60. 60.

    MomSense

    BTW, the video doesn’t work for me. When I clicked play, I was notified that Channel 4 has blocked it on copyright grounds.

  61. 61.

    Ruckus

    @raven:
    I have 3 different answers for your running away.

    Considering the day I’ll leave out the service induced ones and say, From the pic it looks like you enjoyed the trip.

  64. 64.

    Amir Khalid

    “This video contains content from Channel 4 s/f, who has blocked it on copyright grounds.”
    Goshdarn it.

  65. 65.

    raven

    @Ruckus: It’s been fine, we’re headed for a lunch at the Hotel Roanoke and then turn around and drive to Asheville (or home if I feel like it).

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    Reposting this from the dead thread below.
    Headline at TPM:
    “Palin Never Read Interview Before Defending ‘Duck Dynasty’ Star”

    I’m surprised that she can read at all. And yes that’s cruel, on this commercial holy day.

  75. 75.

    MomSense

    @Ruckus:

    Did you see the article at TPM about the recently freed Pussy Riot member? Apparently she was subjected to forced gynecological exams every day for three weeks while in prison. She says that this is common treatment for women in Russian prisons.

  76. 76.

    danielx

    @Splitting Image:

    Having just gotten my heat back on after 62 hours without power, all I have to say is Fuck You.

    I blame Obama.

    Also, too – this is clearly good news for John McCain, as always. (That never gets old, bless Mark Helperin’s black flabby heart.)

    Daughter unit has gone through her gifts, breakfast casserole is made and eaten, it’s cold outside….time for a nap.

  79. 79.

    Suzanne

    I PASSED MY EXAM! It’s a Christmas miracle!

    Having unexpectedly high winter winds today.

    We are celebrating tomorrow because Spawn the Elder is at her dad’s today. But Happy Xmas to all those BJers who celebrate. And I can’t see the back of 2013 fast enough. OUT, DAMNED SPOT.

  81. 81.

    Another Holocene Human

    Fuck that guy, I want to hear from the real hero of the people, Barack Obama. Next week we should have some notion of how many people were able to sign up before the first deadline (for 1/114 coverage).

  88. 88.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Suzanne:

    It’s no miracle…it was steely eyed determination, hours of study, and regurgitation of facts on demand.

    I blame Obama.

  89. 89.

    Suzanne

    @Amir Khalid: No calloo-ing or callay-ing until after the next one. WHICH IS THE LAST ONE. Six of these MFers down. One to go.

    I promised my family and myself that I wouldn’t start studying until after my birthday, which is two weeks from now. But I may have been full of shit. I already got some study materials and they MAY come with me on vacation.

  91. 91.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    @Suzanne:

    Hell to the yeah! (knew you would)

    Woke up to five fresh inches of the powdery stuff. Wife and I shoveled our walk, our drive, out south neighbor’s walk and drive (they’re in Seattle for a week) and I shoveled the walk of all six houses to our north. All told, eight houses.

  92. 92.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    @Suzanne:

    Hell to the yeah! (knew you would)

    Woke up to five fresh inches of the powdery stuff. Wife and I shoveled our walk, our drive, out south neighbor’s walk and drive (they’re in Seattle for a week) and I shoveled the walk of all six houses to our north. All told, eight houses.

  96. 96.

    Cervantes

    @raven:

    Delta is ready when you are.

    How many Delta slogans ago was that? Twenty? Or do they still use it?

    I once saw a collection of superannuated corporate jingles re-interpreted as poor argument, but I can’t recall where.

  99. 99.

    Keith G

    Just finished How to Train Your Dragon. It was cute and entertaining. Craig Ferguson is a hoot. Btw, I have been using Chromecast for VOD for several months now. It works perfectly

    Talked to my oldest sis (68). Her computer was slammed by as major infection. I asked how: Email from “Walmart” yesterday stating there was an issue with a gift she had shipped…and she opened the attachment.

    Being the supportive younger brother, I laughed at her, “You know better!!”

    I am thinking I need to text her back an advise her to change any passwords and pins stored in her browser. Is that necessary? Anything else?

  100. 100.

    Corner Stone

    @p.a.: I’m not sure it’s cyclical, unless by that you mean more of a spiral.
    Because he’s definitely caught in some sort of guilt/shame downward spiral.

  104. 104.

    polyorchnid octopunch

    @Keith G: Yes. She should wait until after she burns that iteration of Windows down to the ground and replaces it, though, in case the payload contained a keylogger. Basically to be safe she needs to unplug that machine from the network; the more time it’s on the network the more time they’ve got to get data off the machine. You should call her right now and tell her to do that, in fact; a half an hour can make a world of difference.

  112. 112.

    polyorchnid octopunch

    @Keith G: More on that… I wanted to make sure you saw the message about calling her and taking the machine off line.

    So, step one is to take the machine off the network. If it’s a lappy, there’s often a physical switch she can use to turn off the wireless device; she should do that. Second, she should change the passwords on her router etc if they were stored in the browser. Third, she should get an external drive and copy data from the machine to the external drive; photos and stuff like that… the stuff that can’t be replaced. Fourth, boot off alternative media, and reinstall her system. Fifth, put on one of the free antivirus packages; I use AVG, fwiw. Fifth, connect the drive to the newly installed machine and scan the external hard drive for viruses etc. Sixth, copy the data back. Seventh, reinstall applications.

    As an aside, it may be a good time to encourage her to consider dumping the running sore that is Windows on the internet and install linux; I’d suggest Mint or Ubuntu, depending on whether you prefer a more classic UI or one of the new more touch oriented ones. Almost all of those things (as in more than 99% of them) just don’t work on linux. Sure, there’s a learning curve, but it’s a lot shallower than it used to be and the benefits are huge once you get up to speed.

  113. 113.

    Suzanne

    @Cervantes: Last test is Building Design and Construction Systems. Lots of fun with calculating galvanic reactions between building materials, high-performance wall assemblies, correct type and location of vapor barriers, etc.

    I’m getting wet just thinking about it.

  118. 118.

    Mike with a Mic

    Run malwarebytes, combofix, and hitmanpro, that should clean up most things.

    If it’s a really nasty infection reinstalling the OS won’t do jack shit. You’ll have to go in and change the MBR, zero it out several times, and flash the firmware to be sure it’s gone. It doesn’t take long, you just need to be aware of it.

    As for Linux, I love Linux, however if someone isn’t techie enough to know not to open dumb emails they aren’t techie enough to deal with Linux.

  119. 119.

    Amir Khalid

    I’ve seen Captain Phillips, and I really like it. Best movie I’ve ever seen about a hostage situation; it rings true at every moment and never tries to dress reality up to create storytelling beats. Tom Hanks is superb as Phillips, and newcomer Barkhad Abdi is utterly believable as the lead pirate. (And comparisons between Abdi’s acting and Hanks’, claiming that the newbie blows the two-time Oscar winner away, are just stupid. Acting is not a competitive sport in that sense.)

  122. 122.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    @Corner Stone:

    With absolutely no doubt, the most trenchant, relevant and least smug comment you have ever made here.

    It’s a Christmas miracle!

  124. 124.

    ranchandsyrup

    Too much Jameson last night putting together presents for the girls. Had my FIL check my work on the princess bike and scooter. Happy day for our family. Hope for the same for all of the juiceatariat. =|<

  127. 127.

    rda909

    A grown man who lies himself into a position specifically to steal massive amounts of United States secrets, and then give those secrets to out to the world, including America’s adversaries, clearly must be operating with the best intentions, and his motives must not be questioned by any “progressives.” Even though no one knew of this person a few months ago, Snowden = good, Obummer = evil. I’m so happy that “we” have joined forces with this group, and others like it, to focus our hatred of the most liberal president America has had in many generations and make sure his support dwindles as much as possible:
    http://oathkeepers.org/oath/billboard/

    Just in time for the 2014 midterms, too! A winning strategy, no doubt, to keep John Boner and Mitch McChinless powerless.

  128. 128.

    ruemara

    Can’t you guys stop fucking trolling with this guy for one goddamn day? Seriously? Jesus, this is fucking stupid.

    Merry Christmas to Balloon Juicers, a smattering of front pagers and all the fine blog pets. Now, where’s the calender?

  132. 132.

    Corner Stone

    @burnspbesq: Hot damn, but for once I agree with you! I am so freakin’ randy right now! I’m thinking about hooking up with some of my Duke LAX bros and calling up some entertainment! Any specific suggestions from your rolodex?

  133. 133.

    Joseph Nobles

    “This video contains material from Channel 4 s/f, who have blocked it on copyright grounds.”

    Heh, indeed.

  134. 134.

    Keith G

    @rda909:

    Even though no one knew of this person a few months ago, Snowden = good, Obummer = evil. I’m so happy that “we” have joined forces with this group, and others like it, to focus our hatred of the most liberal president America has had in many generations

    Been hittin’ the ol’ nog a bit hard, have we? Or maybe you went straight for the bath salts?

    When you’ve had enough: 1 800 no drugs

    Merry Christmas

  137. 137.

    LAC

    @MomSense: then it was a Christmas miracle!!

    Anyone have leftover fucks about Oh holy snowden and his message they want to pass out? In the middle of watching my sweet mom ohh and ahh over an unexpected gift we got her, I can safely say it never occurred to me to see if this was happening. The Pope? Yes. St. Weasel face? No …

  138. 138.

    Joseph Nobles

    @Corner Stone: Hurry, Corner Stone! You can still get in a contribution to St. Greenwald’s free-journamalism site before the end of the quarter! Rest assured: absolutely none of that cash will go to the Ramen-subsisting right wing libertarian clown in Russia, so no fears there.

    Happy Brave New Year to you as well!

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