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You are here: Home / Open Threads / I Wish You a Very Merry Stevemas

I Wish You a Very Merry Stevemas

by John Cole|  December 25, 201312:24 am| 51 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Stream of Consciousness

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I know you all are sick and tired of Steve pics and stories, but I am telling you, this cat just grows in character by day. It’s quite hilarious how captivating this breed is. At any rate, a nice glamour shot of my main man with his glamorous mane (which is also growing day by day, still) and his white Tunch spot on full display:

mymainman

I also think I am going the full Hemingway and declaring I will only rescue polydactyl cats from now on. I mean, look at these things:

paw

When he walks into a room, with those larger than life mitts moseying on in combined with the Maine Coon lope, which really looks a lot like a German Shephard’s walk, it’s imposing. Everyone who has met him first says “WOW, that’s a cat!” and then after a little bit says “Ok, I get it now. I thought Steve was a stupid name, but he’s Steve.”

I leave you with this:

dutchoven

What’s that, you ask? Why yes, it is my jade plant in a dutch oven next to Steve. And yes, I know it is a shitty picture, but I just wanted to get Steve next to his victim. Sir Spazzalot got the zooms the other day, roared into the living room and crashed into the speaker, knocking the jade plant and my favorite pot in the world onto the floor, where the pot shattered. It was a one of a kind Laura W. creation, and it makes me sick to my stomache.

At any rate, Merry Christmas, and I’ll see you all tomorrow afternoon sometime. If you have any pictures of your pets destroying Christmas stuff, send them to me. That could be a fun thread.

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Previous Post: « Here’s a Holiday Gripe From Me
Next Post: Late Holiday Night Open Thread »

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    Alison

    December 25, 2013 at 12:28 am

    Anyone who is tired of cat pics really should not even be here. I mean, hello. It’s Balloon Juice. CATS UBER ALLES.

    Steve is a handsome devil.

  2. 2.

    NotMax

    December 25, 2013 at 12:29 am

    and it makes me sick to my stomache

    Dan Quayle lives!

    Anyway, merry happy whatever and a timely tune.

  3. 3.

    NotMax

    December 25, 2013 at 12:38 am

    Passed one of those cross marker thingies at the side of the road today. It was festooned with tinsel, bows and plastic holly.

  4. 4.

    Kay (not the front-pager)

    December 25, 2013 at 12:39 am

    I’m surprised you haven’t commented on Steve’s white mustache. It’s the primary thing that differentiates him from my cat. My daughter-in-law got a great picture of him stalking past the Christmas tree, but she hasn’t sent it to me yet. When he walks his long pelt just shivers.

    I’m not sure you want another polydactyl. That thing looks suspiciously like a thumb, and 2 Maine Coons with thumbs sounds incredibly dangerous. Just think about it man. Do you want to take that risk?

  5. 5.

    Karen in GA

    December 25, 2013 at 12:39 am

    Steve is lovely.

    And a Merry Christmas from my blog to yours.

  6. 6.

    Dead Ernest (Thought Wrangler)

    December 25, 2013 at 12:43 am

    @NotMax:

    Damn! NotMax.

    That’s precisely what popped into my potatoe. Wasn’t gonna make a comment, but seeing yours, I guess I feel compelled to*.

    *(::Hmm, maybe JSF isn’t my Thought Leader. Perhaps NotMax is::)

  7. 7.

    BethanyAnne

    December 25, 2013 at 12:44 am

    What the hell, repasting since this is an open thread: Save Africa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbqA6o8_WC0&feature=youtu.be

  8. 8.

    Violet

    December 25, 2013 at 12:57 am

    Steve is impressive. Love his eyes.

    If you have any pictures of your pets destroying Christmas stuff, send them to me. That could be a fun thread.

    When I was a kid my aunt gave me a book for Christmas. Before anyone could open presents their new puppy got to them. The corner of my book was all chewed up. I still have it, though. I’m sentimental that way.

  9. 9.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 25, 2013 at 12:59 am

    I, for one, am not tired of Steve pics and stories and welcome our differently clawed overlord.

    Our youngest dog drinks all of the water from the Xmas tree every day. She doesn’t destroy any stuff but I almost knock the tree down when refilling the water.

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 25, 2013 at 1:00 am

    I don’t have pictures, but Keaton managed to fall through the box he was standing on to try and chew on the branches of the tree.

    So far, so good with the new tree. I finally decided I was tired of the old 4-foot tree and got a 6-foot pencil tree on eBay that fits nicely in the bookcase corner. We still haven’t dared to put ornaments on it, but we did at least put the lights on.

  11. 11.

    Kat

    December 25, 2013 at 1:05 am

    You are wrong, we are not sick of pictures of Stevie. I come here to see what that darn cat is up to, and the dogs of course. So keep on posting.

  12. 12.

    Penon

    December 25, 2013 at 1:05 am

    I know you all are sick and tired of Steve pics and stories

    I could create a tiny WordPress plugin that inserts that line at the top of every post you compose here, John, and save you the 10-15 seconds it takes to write it.

    XMAS wishes to Steve, and everyone else.

  13. 13.

    cbear

    December 25, 2013 at 1:05 am

    Merry Christmas, John.
    Thanks for keeping this place running lo these many years.

    Peace

  14. 14.

    YellowJournalism

    December 25, 2013 at 1:07 am

    And a Merry Stevemas to you, John!

    I’ve been pretty lucky. Our girl is pretty chill when it comes to Christmas decorations and other household items. She just goes nuts like a puppy when people come over. Otherwise, everything is pretty safe in the house with her.

    My boys, on the other hand…well, I could send some very interesting pictures of their works of destruction.

  15. 15.

    grishaxxx

    December 25, 2013 at 1:13 am

    Never get tired of Steve pix, man – keep ’em coming.

    And, yes, I have had kitties destroy a couple of beautiful things, but I truly believe they didn’t know. Still, he is a bruiser….

    Have a great holiday, you and all the piglets.

  16. 16.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    December 25, 2013 at 1:24 am

    Cole, I’m glad you have Steve and the dogs in your life. Merry Christmas to all of you.

  17. 17.

    Jewish Steel

    December 25, 2013 at 1:25 am

    Can’t believe you didn’t consult me on the atheism thread. You goys used to love our shtick. Old Testament, New Testament. Chosen People? Helloooo?

    So hurt.

  18. 18.

    Dead Ernest

    December 25, 2013 at 1:58 am

    @Jewish Steel:
    As one who was raised in a very Jewishy Jewnviorment, I admire the apparently effortless style (just like an expert, this boychik) with which you offer the invitation to atone through feeling guilty.
    Too subtle for my mother but I say, nicely done. ;-)

  19. 19.

    HRA

    December 25, 2013 at 1:59 am

    I never miss reading your posts about Steve and the girls, John.

    Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    December 25, 2013 at 2:08 am

    Merry Christmas you crazy old cat lady.

  21. 21.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 25, 2013 at 2:15 am

    Merry Christmas John and everyone at BJ.

    Here’s a new picture of my newest addition, he’s fitting in quite nicely. Though he still has bed-head fur all over his body. It fits him though. And look at that mane:

    Z-Man (formerly JoJo, a name he clearly hated)

  22. 22.

    JustRuss

    December 25, 2013 at 2:16 am

    Isn’t time we took up a collection to replace Cole’s hideous flooring?

  23. 23.

    Calming influence

    December 25, 2013 at 2:21 am

    Really happy that you found Steve (or vicey versey). Merry Xmas, John. Here’s hoping Santa doesn’t fuck with ya ’cause of all the nasty shit you done this year.

  24. 24.

    Calming influence

    December 25, 2013 at 2:28 am

    @TaMara (BHF): Whoa, that’s one good looking cat! Those whiskers have have got to be 6 inches long, and that ruff is majestic. He also looks like he’s about to hurt someone for thinking he likes candy canes.

    Merry Christmas TaMara, and thanks for all the great recipes!

  25. 25.

    Suzanne

    December 25, 2013 at 3:01 am

    @JustRuss: I have been hoping he would buy himself some new end tables for Christmas. It looks like NAGEL threw up in his house.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours, John. I know it has been a tough year for you, but I hope you have some peace and comfort through the holidays and beyond. You certainly have enough pet love. And, NO, FER FUCK’S SAKE, we are not sick of Steve pictures.

    Lord.

  26. 26.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    December 25, 2013 at 3:06 am

    I said before that the pterodactyl cat thing is a bad idea. No good can come of such infernal coupling!

    I just woke up from a “rest my eyes” scenario that turned into a four-hour snooze. I am often up at this hour, but usually winding down, not feeling so chipper and un-sleepy. I guess I will read for a while. (I’m currently binge-reading Jo Nesbø’s Harry Hole novels.)

    The housecat just woke up and gave me a WTF look.

    It’s cold here in NoVa: 22° right now. And that after it being 70° a couple of days ago.

    Merry Christmas to all the Juicers!

  27. 27.

    Anne Laurie

    December 25, 2013 at 3:13 am

    @TaMara (BHF): Oh, gosh, we lived with that cat thirty-some years ago. He walked into the post-college house I was sharing with half a dozen other people, announced that we looked like fine folk and where was the supper dish? — and the other three cats already living in the house were so nonplussed they didn’t even protest.

    He was still a teenager and his mane hadn’t grown out, so we named him Puma. Eventually, magnificent as his looks were, it became clear that his personality was strong but his IQ was… not of Mensa quality. So we told the visitors he boldly schmoozed that we’d named him after the athletic-shoe brand (as in “I’ve had sneakers that were smarter than that cat”)…

  28. 28.

    hitchhiker

    December 25, 2013 at 3:21 am

    Came home from the tuba xmas carol event at the local progressive xtian church to discover that my fabulous dog had eaten a whole box of mixed chocolates.

    Spent the next half hour doing internet research: constraints = his weight, relative proportion of dark chocolate in the 1# box, his behavior now, time since eating of said box of chocolates . . . so far, so good.

    The picture I have is his nice new xmas bed covered with those small brown paper wrappers that the chocolates come in.

    Effing dog. He’s fine.

  29. 29.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 25, 2013 at 3:30 am

    @Anne Laurie: LOL. This guy has personality galore. He was the star of the Christmas party tonight. He’s also taken to sitting on the cat food bin when he’s hungry, as if to say, “hey, here’s the food, why aren’t you feeding me?”

    He’s a lover, not a fighter, so the other cats are learning to accept him. Favorite story to date, I’d been feeding him in a separate room, he’d race from his full food dish to the other cats dishes – I’d take him back to his dish, took a couple of times before he’d finally start eating. Took me two days to realize he wanted to be part of the group…wanted to eat where the other cats were eating. Moved his dish and he was fine, eats right away and leaves the other cat dishes alone.

  30. 30.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 25, 2013 at 8:03 am

    If you have any pictures of your pets destroying Christmas stuff, send them to me. That could be a fun thread.

    Not my pet, but my cousins in Canada shared photos of cat-caused Christmas mayhem a few weeks ago. I’ve emailed a couple of pictures to you for consideration.

    Hope everyone has a great day, no matter what, how, or with whom you celebrate!

  31. 31.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 25, 2013 at 8:10 am

    @TaMara (BHF):

    Wow! He is gorgeous! That mane, those whiskers….

  32. 32.

    WereBear

    December 25, 2013 at 8:27 am

    @TaMara (BHF): LOL. He has all the makings of a Magnificat.

  33. 33.

    RoonieRoo

    December 25, 2013 at 8:30 am

    Cole, I swear to FSM, are you overfeeding Steve? He’s looking fuller and I’m seriously thinking of coming up there to kick you in the shin if you make Steve fat.

    Take a picture of him from overhead so you can see his waist and compare to one of the early pictures you have of him and you will see.

    I’m going to start posting in every cat picture thread exactly what you are doing to his health by overfeeding him and making him fat.

  34. 34.

    Aji

    December 25, 2013 at 9:11 am

    No pix of pets destroying Christmas stuff (they do just fine with the day-to-day stuff, thankyouverymuch), but pix of a new . . . erm . . . rescued pet?

    Here, toward the bottom of the diary. I swear, they have their own pony express line now, letting each other know who the resident suckers are.

    Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, Happy Unchristmas to those who don’t, and a wonderful new year to all.

  35. 35.

    Pogonip

    December 25, 2013 at 9:14 am

    He has gained weight. He was svelte when John got him. Now he looks like a tribble.

  36. 36.

    debit

    December 25, 2013 at 9:18 am

    @TaMara (BHF): He is utterly gorgeous! Seriously, I can’t take my eyes off him, he’s so luminous and beautiful.

  37. 37.

    Kristine

    December 25, 2013 at 9:32 am

    @TaMara (BHF): Gorgeous–love his eyes!

    Merry Stevemas to all, and to all–oh look, here he comes now–get that damned tree pot out of the way before–oh no–CRASH!

    Probably too long to catch on. Merry Stevemas will do.

  38. 38.

    Bex

    December 25, 2013 at 10:01 am

    @TaMara (BHF): That cat’s name is Leo. That is all.

  39. 39.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 25, 2013 at 10:03 am

    @Aji: Boy, I think you have us all beat in the rescue department. Tunch-wings indeed.

  40. 40.

    Johannes

    December 25, 2013 at 10:09 am

    @WereBear: That’s a magnificent pun, WereBear.

    No, Cole, we are not tired of Steve!pics. I suspect we never will be.

    Merry Christmas, y’all.

  41. 41.

    ET

    December 25, 2013 at 10:39 am

    Au contraire… I am not certain there can be enough Steve and the Dogs pictures.

  42. 42.

    Aji

    December 25, 2013 at 10:57 am

    @TaMara (BHF): They just keep coming. :-D

    Actually, it’s pretty grim. Climate change and the crappy economy have led to more and more animals simply being abandoned, including the large ones. Horror stories all over the region. We can’t afford to go looking for ones to rescue, but when they turn up here on their own, well, what are we supposed to do? Ignore them while they die? Can’t do it.

    Although a friend says Miskwaki’s writing messages in the dirt telling them all to “come here.” :-D

    BTW, your new boy is looking gorgeous. Also happy.

  43. 43.

    Daffodil's Mom

    December 25, 2013 at 11:27 am

    @Aji,

    Reading that this morning, remembering Miskwaki and seeing Ice, well, the tears are just flowing. Bless you both for all you do, but I don’t even need to say it because you already are blessed.

  44. 44.

    Aji

    December 25, 2013 at 11:39 am

    @Daffodil’s Mom: Aw, thank you. That’s sweet of you.

    LOL – she’s out there waiting already. Oddly, the other horses showed interest, but no turfiness, even when she licked their mineral block through the panels. Maybe they’re getting used to the strays? :-D

  45. 45.

    Daffodil's Mom

    December 25, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    @Aji: I think they do, actually. Certainly our dog-cat pack does, though not always exactly with great joy… ;~) Daff would just raise her eyes at me and look like she was groaning, “Another one, Mom?” whenever a new kitten would snuggle up.

  46. 46.

    Yatsuno

    December 25, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    @Pogonip: PAPA STEVEDORE HEMINGWAY IZ NOT FAT! HE IZ FLOOFY KITTEH!!

    Actually, it is fur. Maine coons grow big winter coats.

  47. 47.

    Aji

    December 25, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    @Daffodil’s Mom: ROTFLMAO. In our case, it’s strictly dogs (love cats, but allergic), and I know that doggie eye-roll all too well. The horses do it, too.

  48. 48.

    Mobile Grumpy Code Monkey

    December 25, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    @Yatsuno: That ain’t all fur. Boy’s getting fat.

  49. 49.

    koalaholik

    December 25, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    @TaMara (BHF): He’s gorgeous. Love the eyes

  50. 50.

    pluky

    December 25, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    @hitchhiker: Make sure to let him out, or walk him, at the first sign of “distress” for the next 24 hours. Trust me on this!

  51. 51.

    BH in MA

    December 26, 2013 at 6:25 am

    1968 just called to ask for its kitchen floor back. Seriously, one look and I flashed back to the LEGO Wars of the 1970s. The shag carpet in the family room was not LEGO friendly so our war machines did battle on the kitchen floor. I see that pattern in my dreams.

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