I have to give Target an A for preparedness on this one – I had to run to the store for a couple of things and saw this display. Happy New Year to all, and here’s a non-bowl game open thread.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
An almost top 10,000 blog!
He really is that stupid.
We are aware of all internet traditions.
Nothing worth doing is easy.
The revolution will be supervised.
Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.
We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.
Impressively dumb. Congratulations.
Fuck these fucking interesting times.
Consistently wrong since 2002
If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.
Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.
I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.
The willow is too close to the house.
if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.
No one could have predicted…
Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.
Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.
Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?
Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.
I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.
Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!
Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.
Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.
c u n d gulag
Let’s count our blessings.
At least they didn’t have the Easter marshmallow peeps out.
dr. luba
Some of us haven’t even celebrated Christmas yet!
Valdivia
happy new year Juicers. Like John I couldn’t have 2013 in the rear view mirror fast enough. 2014 has to be better right?
Gin & Tonic
At least you said “a couple OF things.”
dmsilev
So, I gather the War On Christmas is over for now, only to reemerge ten or eleven months from now.
Stock up on ammo now.
Glocksman
Is it google that provides the ads for this site?
Last week I did a search for selling prices on lightly used OEM factory wheels off of my Dad’s new 2014 Camaro SS.
He bought new (ugly as sin, IMHO) bright chrome wheels to replace the factory matte chrome ones and wanted to know if the $150 a wheel a buddy offered him was a fair price.
Now it seems that half the sites I visit bombard me with ads for OEM wheels, and the other half hit me with ads for unlocked cell phones (I recently bought a Nexus 5 after research).
I don’t mind targeted ads, but 5 ad banners showing me the exact same ad on the same page is a little much.
Ruckus
@Glocksman:
I get ads for Toyota. I’m the guy who had horrible luck with Toyota. I’ve owned two and they were both POS. Never met anyone else with that sort of record. But every day, Toyota ads, usually a min of 3 on a page.
I hope John gets paid a not unreasonable sum for me putting up with ads. Because otherwise I sure don’t feel like I’m getting his moneys worth.
Ruckus
And then there are the conservative political ads.
I know clicking on them gives John money and that is OK with me but it also gives them clicks. I refuse to give them anything they might be able to use to some advantage. Even if they lie about it, which of course they would.
dmsilev
@Glocksman: That happens all the time to me (and just about everyone else browsing the web these days). I had to research and buy an oscilloscope for work a few months ago, and for weeks afterwards I was getting ads enticing me to buy (considerably more elaborate/expensive) scopes. Amazon does it too; I regularly get their ads targeting something or another related to whatever book or widget I happened to have looked at on their site.
Betty Cracker
The weirdest targeted ad I’ve seen here is for Pitbull (the godawful rapper) cologne.
SiubhanDuinne
I’ve been getting the one touting Obama’s Refi Program. Not sure why an ad about home mortgages is illustrated by a bottle (instead of a, oh, I dunno, maybe a house?) But even the bottle wouldn’t bother me, except that it is filled with a liquid that is constantly moving up and down in the bottle. But even the constantly filling-and-emptying-of-liquid-in-the-bottle wouldn’t bother me, except that it is yellow.
Yes, someone is advertising a mortgage refinance program with a damned SPECIMEN BOTTLE.
Chyron HR
@Betty Cracker:
PITBULL: For the discerning gentleman who doesn’t give a number two.
c u n d gulag
@dr. luba:
Me too – January 7th.
When I was a kid, and people made fun of me and my family for having our Christmas late, I used to tell them. “Late? We have ours 50 weeks before yours, and WE’RE late?”
That usually shut them up.
Or confused them – which amounted to the same thing.
WereBear
Whatever you do, don’t look up Fifty Shades of Gray on Amazon to see what all the fuss is about.
For weeks, you get told, Oh we know the kind of thing you like… and I really didn’t need to know Amazon sold that kind of thing.
Cacti
Sonia Sotomayor votes her catholicism and grants a request for a stay of the birth control mandate hours before it was set to go into effect.
She had previously denied a stay request from Hobby Lobby, but granted the same request when brought by the Little Sisters of the Poor Home for the Aged.
But Pope Francis is so swell, things like this shouldn’t make a difference.
Morbo
Meanwhile, in important rubber duck news.
PaulW
Here’s a new year’s resolution: GET THE DAMN VOTE OUT, DEMOCRATS!
It’s 2014. Time to vote out the bad GOP governors and the crazy GOP congresscritters.
dmsilev
@WereBear: Years ago, I bought a DVD from Amazon (one of The Lord of the Rings films, I think). The recommend-o-tronic told me that people who bought that disk also bought ‘Clean underwear from The Gap’.
Thanks, Amazon, that was something I really didn’t need to know, on many levels.
The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik
I really hate to start the new year in a desperate rage again, but the whole dust up involving Melissa Harris Perry just pisses me off. Not because she didn’t do anything wrong, necessarily, and I’m glad she apologized.
But it’s more the fact that suddenly this is being used as proof positive MSBNC, Liberals, Dems, Blacks, etc. are the true super-mega disgusting bigots and rallying the usual “GOP, GOP, GOP FOREVER!!” bullshit. Meanwhile, Dick Dynasty asshole gets rehired, apologized to, and featured all over again because people have infinite fucking patience with GOP brand asshattery and bigotry because you know, no big deal.
Infinite fucking patience with conservatism and conservatives, where the only way to get through to people about them is death by a thousand cuts, but one slip up, minor by comparison, by someone on the liberal side, and holy shit, the rightward super-swings can’t happen fucking fast enough. Just. Like. Fucking. Always.
Derelict
@Ruckus: Yeah, the targeted ads are a scream. I’m especially fond of the iPage hosting ads begging me to get a Web site through iPage. I started getting those ads AFTER I signed up with iPage to host my site. That’s some excellent marketing dollars iPage is spending.
brettvk
Phooey, Target are way behind. WalMart has Valentine’s merch and seeds/seed starting equipment on display. I imagine the tomato plants will arrive next week.
Derelict
@The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik: IOKIYAR, my friend.
Just consider the unlikely career of Pat Buchanon. Not even being an outspoken anti-semite, racist asshat who publicly praises Hitler is enough to get his ass kicked to the curb by the TV people.
Valdivia
@WereBear:
the more pertinent question is why were you looking up that book eh? ;)
ever since I read the Ted Cruz coloring book reviews Amazon keeps recommending stupid Tea Party readings. Ugh.
gene108
It is only 358 days until Christmas 2014! How the hell are stores ignoring the most important holiday of the year!
We need to defend Christmas from these secular scum, who focus on other holidays that are not Christmas!
Ruckus
@Derelict:
Those I like best. Makes me think I spent my money wisely. Maybe they think if they keep poking you with that finger in the chest they will get you to tell your friends.
And it works.
I tell my friends to never use their product/service.
satby
@Valdivia: Right there with ya, Valdivia!
Generally, 2013 stank for me, lost the boyfriend, the best friend (who went with the ex-bf ), and the job.
But I did achieve one bucket list dream (to go to India), so there’s that. Looking forward to a better 2014, with WAY less drama.
scav
Worse, are we sure that Saint Valentine, assuredly a White Man donchaknow, his day hasn’t been corrupted by any specifically Same-Sex declarations of affection, let alone tainted by hints of carnally expressed affection of Any kind between Any Non-Married Adults!
shelly
I bought a cast iron skillet from Overstock over eight months ago, and at times I still get stalked by ads for dutch ovens and other cookware.
ralphb
@The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:
The problem is the apologizing. One should never apologize to fucking wingnuts. I don’t care what was said or done, just take the fallout and hang tough. When MHP, or any other liberal, apologizes they just take it as an admission of whatever stupid guilt they want to throw at them and they become even more empowered by it.
Pat Buchanan nor Phil Robertson have ever really apologized for one fucking thing they ever said, thus people assume they may not be guilty. So the fucking assholes get away with it.
SiubhanDuinne
@The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:
Fully agree. MHP said something thoughtless, and apologized promptly and, I believe, sincerely. That should be the end of it. But apparently she has now apologized again and again (I have not heard subsequent apologies, but this is what I’ve read various places) and I think this is not only unnecessary but ultimately futile. Repeated apologies (under duress) simply dilute the sincerity of her original apology. And, as you say, every time it comes up it reinforces the “libruls are the REAL racists” meme.
(AutoCorrect keeps wanting to change “racists” to “rackets.” Hmmmm.)
Ruckus
@ralphb:
Better angels and all that shit.
Not that your point is wrong. Always amazed me that being a total fucking asshole pays so well. But it does separate the whores from the rest of us.
Valdivia
@satby:
sorry to hear that! But as you say, the good with the bad right?
There are things I know will still be hard this year (my dad’s illness will continue) but I am hoping it won’t feel like the unmanageable tsunami 2013 felt like.
I too lost the boyfriend (first on my birthday, then again yesterday. The man he knows how to time things!), had a cancer scare and generally been unable to get much work done. Le sigh.
For a happier, healthier 2014!
Roger Moore
@gene108:
War on Christmas!
Cacti
@ralphb:
After seeing the example made of Martin Bashir, I’m sure MHP was concerned for her job. I’m not opposed to apologies on principle, but liberals do a terrible a job of backing their own people.
The right wing can always count on a certain type of myopic liberal to join them in holding liberal voices to a standard of purity that they never demand from fellow wingers. Helping Sarah Palin collect scalps isn’t high-minded. It’s self-destructive.
shelly
But where are the leprachaun hats and shamrock glasses?
MomSense
@Ruckus:
Well I’ll be damned if I know why I’m getting ads for “Degrees for CIA Agents” and I’m pretty sure they don’t mean the Culinary Institute of America which would be a better fit for me.
I blame mclaren or else my cat has some explaining to do.
Eric U.
@Ruckus: The toyota ads on this site were so bad that I had to install flash blocker. A bout a week later, the transaxle blew on my Prius, 90k miles. I got better miles out of my crappy Ford. Not happy with them at all right now
Poopyman
@c u n d gulag: They are out in the Washington DC area Giant Food stores. Have been since the 26th.
Ruckus
@MomSense:
I blame mclaren or else my cat has some explaining to do.
Never blame the cat. Besides your cat probably can type smarter.
Only other thing I’ve got, “Lucy, you got some splaining to do!”
ralphb
@Ruckus:
Better angels would be nice but the world we live in doesn’t respect them anymore. That’s our loss but still usually true.
satby
@Valdivia: Sorry about your dad, and the rest of the year; but sounds like the BF should stay gone this time. There’s a certain sadism about wrecking special days that is best avoided.
Ruckus
@Eric U.:
So not only are you a current customer, you are a pissed off current customer. Of course they probably think that reminding you so often of your current choice, that you will make the same mistake again.
Origuy
I was at CVS yesterday; they had both Valentines Day and Easter candy out.
Ruckus
@ralphb:
I’m pretty sure this world never did. And as it’s the only one we’ve got….
I think my better angels left town over 50 yrs ago. And I haven’t be able to summon them since. Course I haven’t tried very hard to get in touch either.
Villago Delenda Est
@Derelict:
The guy could wear his SS uniform (with hackenkreuz armband) on some Villager talking head show and no one would so much as bat an eyelash.
ralphb
@Cacti:
On the myopic liberal point, I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes our worst enemies are our supposed allies. However, there is a fundamental difference between Bashir’s remarks and what happened with MHP. Chris Mathews mouths off all the time but doesn’t constantly apologize for it. He’s managed to hold his job for a long time, for some reason ;-)
Valdivia
@satby: I know–and he is. There is a special kind of romantic stupidity that blinded me the last time, not anymore. Onward with life.
Villago Delenda Est
@SiubhanDuinne:
MHP didn’t mock the kid. MHP mocked the vile parasitical shitstain that is the Marquis de Mittens and his “let them ride dancing ponies” wife.
Fuck Mitt Rmoney. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. Then fuck his corpse.
WereBear
Like I said, I didn’t know what it was, and I’m used to reading Amazon reviews about things.
The backstory, as Twilight fanfic, is fascinating, I’ll say that.
Valdivia
@WereBear:
Totally agree. When I heard that it made so much sense.
I must confess I have been kind of curious to know what the American bestseller version of such a book would read like. The classics are very dark and would only get made into the kind of movies that have tons of x’s in their rating.
? Martin
I stopped by Target twice on the day after Christmas – at 8AM to buy some new lights on sale – and the Xmas cards had already been all removed. Then again at 2PM to get something for my son’s science experiment and the Valentines cards were all in place. Talk about not wasting any time…
MomSense
@WereBear:
My kids asked me what that book was about and I didn’t know much about it so I looked it up and started reading an excerpt–for about one sentence and then couldn’t read it aloud to them anymore.
I do confess that I finished the page.
Yatsuno
@Valdivia: Love makes blind fools of us all, even if the love is illusory. Maybe we can set you up with Aaron Schock or something.
:: ducks ::
Valdivia
@Yatsuno:
hey, happy new year! how are you?
Oh yes, neocon assholes are my specialty so that would probably work. :)
I’m surprised I am not sadder–I am just pissed you know?
ruemara
@ralphb: Gosh, what could be different about Chris Matthews versus Martin Bashir and Melissa Harris Perry? What could it be? So hard to figure out…
watergirl
@Valdivia: I call that the “fuck you!” phase, and I find that it’s usually the first step on the road to healing and moving on.
Valdivia
@watergirl:
oh boy do I hope you’re right. If forgiveness comes next I think I want to stay angry for a while though. I have never been big on anger but I think I need to change my mind about that. Only way I am going to get out of this one.
Baud
@watergirl:
You mean there are other phases?
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Valdivia:
“Forgiveness” doesn’t mean taking the person back, necessarily. It can also mean, “Meh, I give up,” and refusing to expend any additional energy on thinking about the person. That’s a surprisingly good place to get to, but you have to get through the rest of the crap first.
ruemara
@Valdivia: What Mem said. You can move on without taking them on again.
rikyrah
‘Fresh Prince’ Star James Avery Died at 65
Jan. 1, 2014
By LESLEY MESSER
James Avery, the actor who played Uncle Phil on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” died on Tuesday, his publicist confirmed to ABC News.
The actor, 65, died from complications of open heart surgery.
Born James La Rue Avery in Virginia, Avery was raised in Atlantic City. After high school, he served in the Vietnam War from 1968 to 1969 as a member of the U.S. Navy. After returning home, Avery moved to San Diego, where he wrote poetry and TV scripts for PBS, including the Emmy Award-winning production, “Ameda Speaks: Poet James Avery.”
However, Avery perhaps was most beloved for his acting. In addition to his most famous role on the sitcom “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” he also lent his voice to several animated TV series, including “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “Iron Man.” He also appeared on the big screen in films including “Dr. Dolittle 2” and “License to Drive,” and hosted the travel series “Going Places” on PBS. Most recently, Avery worked on Zach Braff’s film, “Wish I Was Here,” which will premiere at the Sundance film festival.
” I’m deeply saddened to say that James Avery has passed away,” his “Fresh Prince” co-star Alfonso Ribeiro tweeted. “He was a second father to me. I will miss him greatly.”
Avery is survived by his wife of 26 years, Barbara, his stepson, Kevin Waters, and his mother, Florence.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/fresh-prince-star-james-avery-died-65/story?id=21391201
watergirl
@Valdivia: That’s how it works for me, anyway! The fuck you phase is the beginning of all good things, but the whole forgiveness thing seems to happen at the end of the whole process for me, way down the road, after I have moved on and can see things with more perspective.
The most useful thing that ever worked for me is to write a “thank you” letter to the person who left me. Sometimes I need to give it to the person, and sometimes it’s enough for me just to write the letter.
It’s a sincere thank you for all the good things that came from our relationship, or were part of it. Thank you for being there when my dad was dying; I don’t know how I would have made it through that time without you. Thank you for the wonderful camping trip we took with your son; I never knew I liked camping until we camped as a family. Whatever your things are, of course, mine wouldn’t work for you! :-)
Writing that letter is a healing thing for me. Once I wrote it on the one year anniversary of the relationship ending, and when I finished the letter and left at his door I felt lighter than air, and I could finally move on.
It always takes time. Hang in there, and I’m so glad that your dad is still with you. It’s tough, but at least you have time together. It will be 19 years ago this week that I lost my dad. I’m sure you cherish the time you have together!
watergirl
@Baud: You made me laugh!
Valdivia
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): @ruemara:
just to reassure you guys–not taking the guy back. ever.
I am not even sure I want to have any semblance of a connection to him ever again. Though he was my best friend and go to person in hard times (or seemed to be, since it also looks like that was all an act) I can’t keep someone who is so toxic to me in my life. I am truly done. I am just not used to carrying anger, but I think this time I am going to hang on to that a little longer
Does that make sense?
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Valdivia:
Oh, definitely hang onto the anger for as long as it’s useful. But one day you will be ready to leave him behind entirely and not give any more thought to him and, believe it or not, that’s forgiveness.
Valdivia
@watergirl:
That makes a lot of sense. Right now, the way I feel, I want to say thank you for letting me see him for who he really is–a cowardly user of people with utter inability to own up to his actions and to who he is. But I can see how down the line I may be able to write that letter. Way way down the line.
He said he wanted to write to ‘explain’. I said ok yesterday, but now I am feeling like saying to him—don’t bother, nothing you say will change how I see you, how angry I am etc. But maybe knowing is important? Not to forgive but to get the full picture. The truth is I am on the fence on that.
And–I am sorry about your dad. I am truly grateful he is with us and he is doing better. The whole epilepsy thing–as a side effect of his brain surgeries–was unexpected and very difficult to cope with. But we are getting there and I truly hope he is with me for many years to come.
Valdivia
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
Thank you. As I said to @watergirl I can see that down the line I may feel that way. Right now I am just seething.
The worst part is how sweet his sister and parents are being to me. Texting me that they can’t believe what is going on and how ashamed they are of him. That’s a big part of the loss I feel. Sigh.
But yes. Anger. Roar.
@watergirl:
and thank you too. being here is making things just a little easier.
Ruckus
@Valdivia:
Perfect sense.
We all have a right to be angry. Anger is a valuable emotion. But like all of them we can abuse it or not use it at all. You can and are entitled to be angry about things that hurt you. It’s what you do with the anger that is important. It’s acknowledging the anger that is important. IOW it’s OK to be angry about a relationship that you gave a lot to and it doesn’t work out.
I learned this the hard way but it was a valuable lesson. Moving on requires working through the emotions a situation causes. Anger is a strong one of those.
Only advice I can give is to not let the anger rule your life. Embrace it while you need to, let it go when you can.
watergirl
@Valdivia: I don’t see a thing wrong with writing a “fuck you” letter right now. Write it all down, get it all out. (but don’t send that one!)
As far as his writing a letter of explanation, I would encourage him to write it. If you don’t want to read it today, or ever, then just don’t read it. But there might come a time when you will want to understand better, and you can read it whenever, if ever, you want. Having the explanation in hand gives you options.
Your job right now is to take care of you. :-)
I had no idea abut the epilepsy, that’s a tough one. My only experience with that is with my dog who had epilepsy, and that was really tough. Thankfully I worked at the vet school at the time so we got into an experimental program with a drug that really worked well. Then my vet prescribed some chinese herb thing that allowed us to give him a very low dose of the experimental drug. Together, they worked really well for a long time. But when that eventually failed, the seizures came more frequently and it was hard hard hard. Broke my heart seeing my beloved dog that way, can’t imagine how hard with your dad. I seem to recall that we are both daddy’s girls, so that connection can’t make it any easier. So sorry.
watergirl
@Ruckus:
wow is that ever good advice!
Valdivia
@Ruckus:
I have been working very hard this past year in acknowledging emotion beyond–I have it all under control (my usual m.o.)
And in that I have ‘learned’ that being angry is ok, but putting it into practice is a little harder. Somehow in my head letting yourself feel the anger and letting it you rule you were the exact same thing. I think I know better now.
I must say though that feeling the anger and acknowledging it is liberating! I can see that when I am done with it and move on to feeling something else–having let the anger through will have been super important.
Thanks for the encouragement
Valdivia
@watergirl:
Thank you again, really it means a lot to me all that you are saying.
The epilepsy thing has been very very hard. Luckily now there are many meds he can take it’s just a matter of finding the right combination and dosages. Getting there though has been going through all the terrible side effects–balance, cognitive, emotional. But at least no more seizures for now.
And yes–daddy’s girl so reversing the roles has been hard on him and on me. But it’s life no?
watergirl
Yep, that’s life. Full circle. I think I told you the story of being at my dad’s bedside with my two sisters, a few minutes after he died. The social worker person came in, introduced herself, and after about 15 seconds she looked at me and said “you’re daddy’s girl, aren’t you?”. Even after all these years without him, that never changes.
Valdivia
@watergirl:
sending you a hug. from one daddy’s girl to another.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Valdivia:
From what you’ve been saying about this past year and having to deal with your dad’s illness, I’m wondering if your ex is one of those people who just can’t handle a crisis and runs away as soon as things get tough. If that’s the case, then thank gawd you found this out now instead of after you were married or something, when it would have been even harder to detangle your lives.
And, yes, you have every right to be angry at him for letting you down, so go ahead and feel that for as long as you need to.
Valdivia
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
The strange thing is that he was the one person who never seemed to mind when I told him what was going on (I rarely ever tell people or share this) or when I simply had a little rant about my frustrations. He made it seem easy, like he wished he could do more.
The thing that freaks him out is commitment–committing to me, to having a family, settling down. It was getting to that point with us so I am sure it’s related to that. Though I wouldn’t discount the allure of not having to deal with the shitshow that my life is these days!
I agree with you that it is very good to see someone for who they are before that commitment happens. I think I saw and wanted to see only the good in him, not the rest. Romantic fool reporting for duty here.
watergirl
@Valdivia: I read somewhere that after we screw up in one relationship and that one ends, that we try very hard not to do that same stuff again in the next one. That sounds so obvious that you may wonder why it’s worth saying.
The interesting part is how that plays out in the next relationship. Let’s say I’m not good at being emotionally supportive and that was an issue in my recently failed relationship. So at the start of the next relationship, I work very hard at trying to be emotionally supportive. So to you, I appear to be very good at being emotionally supportive, and maybe that’s part of what draws you to me.
But since that’s not really one of my innate abilities, I’m not able to sustain that over time. And I can’t be the very thing that drew you to me (my being emotionally supportive). Then, when I bolt and run because it’s hard for me to be emotionally supportive (in this example) it’s a big surprise to you.
ruemara
@Valdivia: Perfect sense. You are chatting with a woman who not only had to break up with her former 20 year partner several times, she also got burned each time she even tried to do the humane thing and ensure he had a cell phone for emergencies when he was homeless, and helped him with food. The minute he was back at his parents (WITH MY BELOVED CATS) I blocked him and cut all contact unless it’s about the cats. The idiot even managed to invite himself to stay at my place the last 2 nights he was in Cali and the final night, moved all his extra junk he didn’t want to deal with into my apartment. I’ve been working my way slowly out of the mess of boxes since Halloween. The anger you feel? It’s justified and worthy.
Valdivia
@watergirl:
that could make sense–I think his previous relationship was more like WWII with constant fighting so maybe being attentive was part of what he thought he needed to do?
@ruemara: sounds like my mythical ex who I sort of dated on and off even after he dumped me by leaving a letter on my bed. twenty pages long. This guy doesn’t hold a candle to him! I am glad to hear you’re slowly getting this guy out of your skin.
amy c
@Poopyman: At the Stop & Shops in New England, too. Of course, they’re all part of the same mega-chain.
The store closest to me literally had the Peeps out on Christmas Eve. Madness.