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You are here: Home / Tonight, tonight, the strip’s just right

Tonight, tonight, the strip’s just right

by DougJ|  January 23, 20142:10 pm| 54 Comments

This post is in: Green Balloons, Riveted By The Sociological Significance Of It All

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Of no importance whatsoever but everybody’s dying to talk about it, and, yes, I find it amusing too:

Justin Bieber was charged with drunken driving, resisting arrest and driving without a valid license after police saw the pop star street racing early Thursday morning, Miami Beach police said.

[….]

Sharieff posted a photo on his Instagram account of Bieber in the yellow Lamborghini with a woman behind the wheel early Thursday. “U know bizzle brought that lambo out,” he wrote in the caption.

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Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    January 23, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Anyone who doesn’t care that Justin Bieber was arrested must have a life.
    — Andy Borowitz

  2. 2.

    mapaghimagsik

    January 23, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Slow news day?

  3. 3.

    NorthLeft12

    January 23, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Best known Canadians right now…..Rob Ford, Justin Beiber, and Neil Young.

    Thank god for Neil Young or people might think all Canadians are a-holes.

  4. 4.

    Face

    January 23, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    “U know bizzle brought that lambo out,” he wrote in the caption.

    Can someone translate Canadian into English?

    I’ve heard several people opine that what Bieber needs is for someone to just throw a tremendous haymaker into his maw and knock most of the smugness out of him. Perhaps a week in the pokie may do instead.

  5. 5.

    Seonachan

    January 23, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Sharieff don’t like it.

  6. 6.

    Amir Khalid

    January 23, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    I wasn’t all that keen to talk about it myself, but since you insist …

    Tsk, tsk. If he doesn’t watch it, things are not going to end well for the Biebs.

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    January 23, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    “Hey Justin, what’re you rebelling against?”

    “Whaddaya got?”

  8. 8.

    DougJ

    January 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    @Seonachan:

    Ha!

  9. 9.

    burnspbesq

    January 23, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    I guess it’s OK to like Juan Mata now.

  10. 10.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 23, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    For whom does DougJ troll, he trolls for thee.

  11. 11.

    srv

    January 23, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Clearly, the impact of Clinton and Obama on our culture is spreading to Canuckland.

  12. 12.

    maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor

    January 23, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    “U know bizzle brought that lambo out,”

    Who said foreign language studies were lagging in the U.S.?

  13. 13.

    Kineslaw

    January 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    What I find funny is this incident prompted the Miami Beach mayor to send an email to Miami Beach residents congratulating the police on their good work and saying no one will be granted preferential treatment, regardless of their celebrity status.

  14. 14.

    chopper

    January 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    @Seonachan:

    The Bieb he drove his Lambo
    He went a’ cruisin’ down the ville

  15. 15.

    Joey Maloney

    January 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    >I’ve heard several people opine that what Bieber needs is for someone to just throw a tremendous haymaker into his maw and knock most of the smugness out of him.

    Auction the privilege to the highest bidder, put it on pay-per-view, and there’s your retirement money right there.

  16. 16.

    Turgidson

    January 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    What a thug. As a white guy, I denounce his behavior in the strongest terms.

  17. 17.

    Poopyman

    January 23, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: Yep.

    Next!

  18. 18.

    Jim Foolish Literalist

    January 23, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    I realize that I am an old, and that unlike any number of famous people Justin Bieber’s fame is based on something other than being an asshole or having famous relatives, but I can’t name one song from this kid who seems to have been recording for a long time

  19. 19.

    jtadetroit

    January 23, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    Bieber is a born-again Christian who insists everyone join him in prayer before going on stage at his concerts.

  20. 20.

    cleek

    January 23, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    the AV Club has a pretty nice write up of this:
    http://www.avclub.com/article/justin-bieber-arrested-for-artistic-expression-of-107225

  21. 21.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 23, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    yes, I find it amusing too:

    I admit, if there are funny memes or routines going around about this, and I see them, I’ll probably snicker.

    But seriously, doesn’t anyone just feel sad for this kid? Not that I’m excusing him for one second of all the stuff he’s alleged to have done, but somewhere along the way, somebody (parents? managers? agents?) allowed a suddenly-superstar adolescent to have far more autonomy than any teenager should have. Sounds as though he’s heading straight down the path of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and doubtless others I’m forgetting.

    And no, this doesn’t make me a Bieber fan. To the best of my knowledge I’ve never heard any of his songs, and have no plans to change that status. I don’t know whether he’s a talentless bimboy or the next Canadian Sinatra. But I guarantee you, under all the drunk-driving and house-egging and Lamborghini-riding, there is a scared, unhappy person. And I feel sorry for that person.

  22. 22.

    C.S.

    January 23, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    Sharieff posted a photo on his Instagram account of Bieber in the yellow Lamborghini with a woman behind the wheel . . .

    If the photo they’re talking about is the one to the side of the page, then it’s Bieber driving, not the woman. Bieber has been wronged! He doesn’t need to be driven around by his girlfriends!

  23. 23.

    maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor

    January 23, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    @Joey Maloney:

    >I’ve heard several people opine that what Bieber needs is for someone to just throw a tremendous haymaker into his maw and knock most of the smugness out of him.

    Auction the privilege to the highest bidder, put it on pay-per-view, and there’s your retirement money right there.

    The winning bid would be a multiple of whatever that guy paid to shoot the black rhino.

  24. 24.

    Mustang Bobby

    January 23, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    As I noted in the open thread below, to those of us who live in Miami, he’s just another snowbird.

    Leave the money and go home.

  25. 25.

    catclub

    January 23, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    @C.S.: Commas, people.

    Bieber in the yellow Lamborghini, with a woman, behind the wheel . . .

  26. 26.

    PIGL

    January 23, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I have never heard a one of his musical efforts, although I understand he is the butt of much jocular hated for being a gifted but ridiculous young man who got too famous too soon. It is a pity how often this seems to happen….makes me think that many of us would fail in a similarly spectacular fashion if temptation and opportunity both came a’knockin. That said, if he’s gonna race fancy italian cars down the street, he should be classy and do it in Monaco.

  27. 27.

    danielx

    January 23, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Bieber had to be stopped. Picture (on the front page no less) of the local paper had his shiteating smirk featured while wearing jail orange. I had two thoughts, 1) little asshole will probably want to take his jail outfit home with him and 2) if there was ever a backpfeifengesicht, that’s it.

    Translation of this nameless German horror: a face that cries out for a fist in it.

    Der US-amerikanische Politiker Joe Liebermann hat so ein Backpfeifengesicht!
    The American politician Joe Lieberman has a face you’d just like to punch!

    REALLY like that particular example.

  28. 28.

    Poopyman

    January 23, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    @catclub: Still crappy sentence construction unless you’re playing Clue.

  29. 29.

    danielx

    January 23, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    But seriously, doesn’t anyone just feel sad for this kid?

    No. At least not me.

    This has been another edition of Simple Answers To Simple Questions.

  30. 30.

    GregB

    January 23, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    He shouldn’t be in jail, they should send him to the hospital for treatment of acute affluenza.

  31. 31.

    Geeno

    January 23, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I used to, but as his behavior went further and further, I stopped. I doubt very much he’s listening to anyone anymore. It’s all on him.

  32. 32.

    Eric S.

    January 23, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I’m officially mad at you, Dougj, for associating that song with The Bieb.

    I caught this story earlier. My immediate thought was if you wanted to race high end cars why didn’t you just rent a race track. It’s easy enough to do and he certainly has the money.

    But that makes me The Pot because I’ve certainly gone stop light to stop light at speeds that probably maybe could have exceeded a posted limit maybe.

  33. 33.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 23, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    BTW has John Cole posted anything today, after the butt shaving incident of yesterday?
    I hope he is still in one piece and that Steve has not eated him

  34. 34.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 23, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    @danielx:
    @Geeno:

    He’s fucking 19 years old. Actuaries consider this age especially risky. Neurologists consider that his brain isn’t fully developed. And he had enormous adulation and disposable wealth at an even much earlier age. That really can’t be very healthy for the most mature and level-headed of people, let alone a teenaged kid.

    I just don’t want to participate in the pile-on. I hope he gets the help he needs, or a traffic citation is going to be the least of his worries. I hope he doesn’t injure or kill someone on the way to his personal rock-bottom.

    I just

  35. 35.

    EconWatcher

    January 23, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    I think I remember reading that Bieber grew up in pretty extreme poverty (for Canada at least, which probably doesn’t get that extreme), and of course he got rich and famous at such a young age that the result is kind of predictable and I sort of have a little sympathy.

    On the other hand, there are much better places to exercise sympathy. So never mind. Carry on.

  36. 36.

    Bill

    January 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I basically said this same thing earlier today. The kid needs some guidance, and clearly the people who should be doing it have failed. I think he should face the full consequences of his actions – drunk driving is a very serious offense in my view – but I also feel sorry for the kid. (And he is a kid.)

    Also, I can’t imagine what an a-hole I (and many people I know) would have been at 19 if someone gave me basically unlimited cash, an army of yes men and access to a Lamborghini.

  37. 37.

    C.V. Danes

    January 23, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Unimaginable wealth + reckless youth + no sense of responsibility = what did you expect.

    We’ve seen this story over and over. Sadly, it will end predictably.

  38. 38.

    C.V. Danes

    January 23, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    @Bill:

    Also, I can’t imagine what an a-hole I (and many people I know) would have been at 19 if someone gave me basically unlimited cash, an army of yes men and access to a Lamborghini.

    Also, access to unimaginable amounts of T&A…

  39. 39.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 23, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    @EconWatcher:

    On the other hand, there are much better places to exercise sympathy. So never mind. Carry on.

    Compassion isn’t finite. I don’t see it as “either/or.”

    @Bill:
    @C.V. Danes:

    Yes and yes.

  40. 40.

    Jim Foolish Literalist

    January 23, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    MSNBC is doing live coverage of the Das Bieber leaving the Miami jail. I hope someone is embarrassed. I am.

  41. 41.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    If you can’t do the time, don’t do the…wait, what?

    Nevermind.

  42. 42.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    If you can’t do the time, don’t do the…wait, what?

    Nevermind.

  43. 43.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    I can’t wait to hear the artistry of his Folsom Prison sessions!

  44. 44.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Does he like the Fast & Furious franchise?

    Open ‘er up and see what that baby’ll do!

  45. 45.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    @GregB:

    You only get that diagnosis when you’ve ruined someone else’s life permanently.

  46. 46.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Friends don’t let friends race alone…

  47. 47.

    RobertB

    January 23, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    @Bill: With unlimited cash, an army of yes-men, and a Lamborghini, I might be an asshole too.

    Well, maybe not a DUI, and I hope I can dial the butthead back a bit. But a speeding ticket would definitely be in the cards.

  48. 48.

    BruceFromOhio

    January 23, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    I thought in Florida this would mean you get shot to death. Or at least tasered.

    Oh, wait…

  49. 49.

    Helmut Monotreme

    January 23, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    @C.V. Danes: Spare me. Justin Beiber could end in any number of ways. In twenty years he could ten years dead or a bizzare hermit who sleeps in an oxygen chamber with his own private amusement part and pet chimp, or he could be a washed up shock jock or he could be playing Vegas to sold out shows of vacationing housewives. Whatever happens to this guy, I doubt it will be predictable, and that’s why he will be front page news for the rest of his life.

  50. 50.

    LanceThruster

    January 23, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    @RobertB:

    Seems to be driven everywhere would solve a lot of difficulties but then you’d lose the street cred.

  51. 51.

    Karen in GA

    January 23, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: To an extent, I agree. I don’t think he’s scared deep down, though — I’m not sure there’s anything so far that he’s needed to be scared of. I don’t know if he realizes at this point that he’s on a pretty sad and dangerous trajectory — I think he figures hey, he’s a star, he can do whatever he wants. Fear is for other people.

    That said, though, I think I’d pile on and mock the hell out of him if I were closer to his age. Being old enough to be his mother, though (UGH!), I can’t help but just look at him and be glad I only have pets — I don’t have to worry about raising a teenager like that, or explaining him to a younger kid with Justin Bieber posters on her wall.

    Although a fellow mid-40s friend posted about it disapprovingly on FB this morning, and all his fellow curmudgeonly “these kids today!” types dutifully tsk tsked and expressed their harshest disapproval. I chimed in with, “Call me when he chokes on his own vomit after a smack binge. He’s an amateur.”

    I like winding up my curmudgeonly FB friends — 45 is too young to be reminiscing about how you wore onions on your belt.

  52. 52.

    dogwood

    January 23, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    @Turgidson:
    Of course he can be called a “thug”. He learned it from Usher doncha know. And Usher sang at Obama’s first inauguration concert so Barack is really responsible for the thuggish behavior of JB. It’s all so obvious.

  53. 53.

    PIGL

    January 23, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    @C.V. Danes: don’t forget the unlimited quantities of really good cocaine. that would be the biggest problem, I’d say.

  54. 54.

    wenchacha

    January 24, 2014 at 1:04 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m with you. He was an impossibly sweet, naive, clean-cut teen boy, back in the day. He made waves when he talked about abortions (anti) I think. He made the mistakes that happen when you put a mic in front of a teenager who is routinely mobbed by screaming girls and also record execs.

    I’m not his fan, but I feel sad for him, and for all the other children who become globally famous and rich before they know anything about anything. After seeing this same story so many times, one would hope there are some people behind the scenes who look out for the children. I doubt anything like that exists, though, beyond Drs. Phil and Drew..

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