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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Sad News

Sad News

by John Cole|  January 25, 20147:48 pm| 92 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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My crockpot died today while making chicken and dumplings. I has a sad.

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Reader Interactions

92Comments

  1. 1.

    mclaren

    January 25, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Too bad your crackpot didn’t die. Then we wouldn’t have to suffer through any more posts from burnspbesq.

  2. 2.

    Aji

    January 25, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    It’s not sitting out in a field, though, is it?

    So there’s improvement.

    Seriously, I sympathize. Couldn’t live without mine. Okay, I exaggerate, but not by much.

  3. 3.

    Roger Moore

    January 25, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    @mclaren:
    Shorter:

    Pot to kettle: you’re blah.

    ETA: I’d guess you can get a replacement slow cooker for a very reasonable price at your local second-hand store.

  4. 4.

    Tom the First

    January 25, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Ashes to ashes. Mush to mush.

  5. 5.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    January 25, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Well, at least your wounds are healing. I was concerned because scratches can be nasty, and yours sounded deep and long.

    A funny that most here have probably seen long ago, assuming no one here created it:

    Thought this was uncanny…

    Did you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”?

    And that “eat” is the only word that, if you take the first letter and move it to the last, spells its own past tense, “ate”?

    And if you rearrange the letters in “Tea Party Republicans,” and add just a few more letters, it spells: “Shut the fuck up you free-loading, progress-blocking, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, violent hypocrites, and deal with the fact that you nearly wrecked the country under Bush and that our president is black, so try and get over it.”

    Isn’t that interesting?

    And what did ultimately happen with the car? I missed the story’s end.

  6. 6.

    Tommy

    January 25, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    I want to mock you for having a crockpot. I did most people until I got one in my late 30s. Then I was like wow, you can do some amazing things with it.

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    January 25, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    Oh, the car is still in the field. The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

  8. 8.

    shelly

    January 25, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

    You’d think frozen solid would be firm enough.

  9. 9.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    January 25, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    @shelly: And a clever 12 year old could surely find a tumescence joke in there somewhere.

  10. 10.

    PaulW

    January 25, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    burial with full honors.

    It died as it lived. Cooking.

    (plays Taps)

  11. 11.

    PsiFighter37

    January 25, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    @John Cole: Hasn’t the polar vortex firmed that up enough by now? Or are you close enough that those funky chemicals that leaked may have softened it up?

  12. 12.

    dp

    January 25, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Sorry, condolences.

    I’d suggest the replacement be a Cuisinart. They rock.

  13. 13.

    Tommy

    January 25, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    @efgoldman: Go to the second hand store. I have a $220 coffee maker. A friend of mine got it for $20 in the box at Goodwill. Looked like it had never been used.

    Given I don’t think crockpots get to that level, but you never know :).

  14. 14.

    Tommy

    January 25, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    @dp: I am a huge Cuisinart fan. That coffee maker I mentioned Cuisinart. Take care of it and it will last you a lifetime.

  15. 15.

    Joseph Nobles

    January 25, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    I got a $12 breadmaker at the secondhand store. I use it mainly to mix dough now (I got tired of that square pone of bread), but it works well enough to stave me off from buying a new Kitchenaid mixer.

  16. 16.

    Glocksman

    January 25, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Cole’s single, so the 4.5qt Crock-Pot® for $20 at Target may work just fine.
    I have one, and it’s great for soups and roasts that serve 1 or 2 people.

    I would have bought a bigger one, but the food would probably spoil before I could eat all of it.

  17. 17.

    jl

    January 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    With no serious injury or maiming of Cole? Whew, that is hard to believe, but good news.

  18. 18.

    Pogonip

    January 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Cooking stuff tends to go on sale in winter, you can get a shiny new crock pot cheap. It will be Chinese junk, however. A thrift store one might last longer.

  19. 19.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Confession time, I have never used a crock pot in my life and never missed it either. I have a well equipped kitchen and a well stocked pantry. No rice cooker either.

  20. 20.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    @jl: Can crock pots explode? JC should go with a pressure cooker this time.

  21. 21.

    donnah

    January 25, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Mine died, too, just a week ago. It was at least 25 years old, so it lived a good life. It was an old Rival brand.

    So I didn’t want to spend $100 or more on a new one. I got a Crockpot brand slow cooker with a ceramic lift out crock and brushed stainless still exterior. It isn’t fancy, but so far I really like it. I can program it to low or high, set the time, and when the time is up, the cooker switches automatically to a Warm setting. I cooked chicken in it the first day and it was tender and juicy, but not mushy. And I cooked a pot roast a couple of days ago and it absorbed the garlic and onion beautifully.

    This time of year, when it’s sub-zero out there, a crock pot simmering with savory goodness inside is a dream come true.

  22. 22.

    ? Martin

    January 25, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    My crockpot died today while making chicken and dumplings. I has a sad.

    I’m pretty sure Obama had it killed. Kristallnacht begins.

  23. 23.

    Aji

    January 25, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: No, don’t. Just don’t.

  24. 24.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    January 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    No, no, the replacement should be a Ninja.

    Seriously.

  25. 25.

    Glocksman

    January 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    @jl:

    Cole has such hard luck at times that I imagine him being the real life version of Arsenio Hall in this clip from Amazon Women on the Moon

  26. 26.

    Tommy

    January 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    I have a well equipped kitchen and a well stocked pantry. No rice cooker either. Oh rice cookers. I might eat rice with like a quarter of my meals. I eat a ton of different rice, and not just white or long grain brown. I could not live without it.

  27. 27.

    Pogonip

    January 25, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    @donnah: Do you live on one of the coasts? Here in the Midwest, I’m not sure you could spend $100 on a crockpot if you tried. Maybe at Nordstrom’s.

  28. 28.

    glory b

    January 25, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    @Glocksman: That’s why god made freezers.

  29. 29.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    @Tommy: So do I, but I cook them all without a rice cooker, you just need a regular sauce pan to cook almost any kind of rice.

  30. 30.

    jeffreyw

    January 25, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    @PaulW: Nonsense, man, This is W Virginia – he’ll set it in the side yard atop a cinder block and grow petunias inside it.

  31. 31.

    gbear

    January 25, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    My cordless phone system died today. I have a 30-year-old wall phone in the kitchen that is still working, but I can’t call out on any of the other phones in my house. I had been thinking about replacing it when Amazon had a daily deal last weekend, but then decided why replace something that’s still working. It cost me $30 more when I ordered the damned replacement today.

  32. 32.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 25, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    This is what happens when you try to shave a crock pot’s ass.

  33. 33.

    Tommy

    January 25, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: and water. Look I agree. I just think for folks that don’t each much rice, and I guess I should have said this, a rice cooker is a nice place to start. I mean they do make rice, or gains in general, that don’t come in a bag :).

  34. 34.

    gbear

    January 25, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    @John Cole:

    The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

    Soft ground in January is such an alien concept. I can’t get my mind around it…Wow.

  35. 35.

    mainmata

    January 25, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    @John Cole: In these Polar Vortex freezing temps the ground is not “firmed up” in WVA? Are you kidding me? It is pretty firmed up here in MD. That said crock pots are a) pretty inexpensive new and b) ridiculously cheap used in places like Restore (Habitat for Humanity). So should not be a crisis.

  36. 36.

    Narcissus

    January 25, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field. People will give each other directions using it as a milestone.

    “If you get to where you see a Subaru parked in a field, you’ve gone too far.”

  37. 37.

    Keith P

    January 25, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Have you thought about taking donations to come up with the $20 to buy a new one?

  38. 38.

    Glocksman

    January 25, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    @gbear:

    I’ve had good luck over the years with Panasonic cordless phones.
    I dropped landline service and gave away my old phone and bought this Panasonic Bluetooth Link2Cell set to use with my Nexus 5.

    So far it works perfectly.

    Nice thing about it is that the batteries are just Ni-MH triple A rechargeables that you can buy anywhere cheap, instead of proprietary battery packs that you pay $$$ for.

  39. 39.

    WaterGirl

    January 25, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Am I the only one here whose heart skipped a beat when they saw the title of this thread?

  40. 40.

    Glocksman

    January 25, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    @jeffreyw:

    Or weed.

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    January 25, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    As long as were talking about crockpots, an anyone here recommend a really good slow cooker / crockpot cookbook?

  42. 42.

    MomSense

    January 25, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    @Tommy:

    I found a brand new zojirushi rice cooker that retails for almost $400 at goodwill for $10. It was still wrapped in the box. I was practically dancing at the store.

  43. 43.

    tybee

    January 25, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    i have had a rice steamer for decades. we love it.
    it’s kind of a double boiler thingee.
    is that the same thing as a “rice cooker”?

  44. 44.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 8:52 pm

    @Tommy: I was teasing. I just don’t like to use a lot of gadgets while cooking. I am pretty old school. I do use a blender, a food processor and a coffee grinder for spices.

  45. 45.

    Corner Stone

    January 25, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Anyone who knocks a rice cooker does not know what they are talking about.

  46. 46.

    WaterGirl

    January 25, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    @MomSense: I used to stay away from rice because it always seemed to be either hard or mushy. Then someone (maybe here?) recommended toasting rice in a bit of butter and then adding the water. Then I found some rice from Italy and tried that, and oh my gosh, best rice ever.

    I haven’t made any other rice, or cooked it in any other way, since.

  47. 47.

    MikeJ

    January 25, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    @Narcissus:

    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field.

    When the oceans rise to cover West Virginia, that car will be the base of a reef. He just pre-sunk it.

  48. 48.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    @Corner Stone: I have used a rice cooker, my parents have it, I just don’t think I need it. Haven’t we had this rice cooker conversation before?

  49. 49.

    Corner Stone

    January 25, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: Probably. I was right then, and I’m right now.
    Rice snobs who disdain using a tool that makes perfect rice, every time, and can be completely cleaned in under three minutes don’t gain much traction with me.

  50. 50.

    Corner Stone

    January 25, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    I have a crockpot also, but it makes more food than I can eat in a week so I normally don’t use it much.

  51. 51.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    @Corner Stone: I have nothing against rice cookers or people who use them. Counter space is limited and one has to make choices, that’s all.

  52. 52.

    Corner Stone

    January 25, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: Sure. That’s how it starts. Then pretty soon, dipsy do, and we’re all eating gruel. Is that what you want? Well, do ya!?
    Darn counter space redistributionistas.

  53. 53.

    OldDave

    January 25, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    My wife wants to know – did the crockpot die trying to shave the cat’s ass?

    Edit: I missed Villago Delenda Est’s contribution. Sorry.

  54. 54.

    gbear

    January 25, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    @Glocksman: The 30 year old phone that’s still working is a Panasonic, but so is the cordless set that broke today. I still like the brand though, and the new phone I ordered is a Panasonic.

  55. 55.

    chopper

    January 25, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    what a crock.

    I have a crock pot/pressure cooker combo from cuisinart. works a treat.

  56. 56.

    donnah

    January 25, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    @Pogonip:

    Oh, I’m in Ohio, shopping at Amazon with a gift card. You’d be surprised by how many expensive ones there are, over $100. Cuisinart, DeLonghi, Calphalon, Breville, Crock Pot.

    I wanted one that was programmable, and that would switch automatically to a warming function. It’s good, and while retail was $59, I got it for $39. So, a deal!

  57. 57.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    @chopper: That sounds interesting. I have an ancient pressure cooker that my husband got from India, it hisses, I am slightly afraid of it.

  58. 58.

    MomSense

    January 25, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I cook mostly brown rice and it took a bit of experimentation to get the ratios right. The nice thing about the rice cooker is that I can set the timer so it is cooked and hot at the right time. On the weekends I enjoy making risottos and the things that I don’t have time to do during the week. I have started using a,crock pot for soups. I throw the ingredients in and dinner is ready when I get home!

  59. 59.

    Pogonip

    January 25, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    @donnah: A deal indeed! Congratulations!

  60. 60.

    Pogonip

    January 25, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    @Narcissus: “Backtrack till you see a white house with green shutters. There’s usually a Maine Coon cat with a shaved butt in the yard. Hang a left.”

  61. 61.

    dww44

    January 25, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    I almost wish my crockpot would die, seeing as how it dates itself back to the dawn of the crockpot era of the late 60’s and early 70’s when the color choices were avocado green (ours) and an orangey red, whose color name escapes me. Can’t see replacing something that actually works although it’s shape (more vertical than horizontal) makes it somewhat inflexible for pork and beef roasts. Plus it’s not the easiest thing to clean.

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    January 25, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Crockpot: hillbilly sous vide machine.

  63. 63.

    geg6

    January 25, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    I have extras if you need one, Cole.

    In crockpot news, tomorrow I am making pulled pork with chipotle sauce in one of my many crockpots. Seriously Cole, I have four or five large crockpots. Commit to a visit and one or two of those can be yours.

  64. 64.

    gbear

    January 25, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    @dww44: Burnt Orange?

  65. 65.

    WaterGirl

    January 25, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    @Narcissus:

    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field. People will give each other directions using it as a milestone.

    “If you get to where you see a Subaru parked in a field, you’ve gone too far.”

    I thought your comment was awesome. That is all.

  66. 66.

    revrick

    January 25, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Will the crockpot be cream-ated?

  67. 67.

    revrick

    January 25, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    @Tom the First: Excellent!

  68. 68.

    Randy P

    January 25, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    I’m trying to imagine how you kill a crockpot short of nuclear strike, and my imagination is failing me.

  69. 69.

    Honus

    January 25, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    @John Cole: I remember back in ’83 I was cutting a load of firewood to sell (for $45) and my 79 4WD Ford stepside got hung up in a muddy field. Two other trucks came to pull it out and left after they both got stuck and had to pull each other out. I went back a week later after the ground had frozen and it was frozen in place and still wouldn’t move. I waited another month or so and then when the field had thawed and dried out got in it and drove it home. I’ll come up in March and drive that Subaru out for you if you want.

  70. 70.

    p.a.

    January 25, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    @dww44: I have heard the newfangled crock pots with the removable crock only heat from the bottom, whereas the old 1 piece cookers heated bottom and sides and were superior. Anyone know if this is true? My relic still works, but I’d like one with a timer.

  71. 71.

    schrodinger's cat

    January 25, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    @Randy P: Fallout from the cat butt shaving incident of 2014?

  72. 72.

    rikyrah

    January 25, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    I love this thread. The sadness in this post for an appliance, I totally get. I felt the same way when my rice cooker died. I just looked at it for awhile,trying to will it back to life.

  73. 73.

    Comrade Mary

    January 25, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    @WaterGirl: Anything from Judith Finlayson would be great. Almost all of her recipes have a little prep — brown meat or sauté onions — which really annoys people who prefer dump recipes, but that little bit of extra effort and one extra pan to clean is worth it for the quality of her results.

  74. 74.

    Jay C

    January 25, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    @Tommy:

    I call BS on that “Cuisinart will last a lifetime” crap : just yesterday, I had to go replace my Cuisinart DC-1200-series coffeemaker: which, after 4 or so years, just stopped making coffee Friday morning (all the lights were on: apparently, only the heater functions had failed: kind of “enough” for a coffeemaker!). The folks at my local store were sympathetic enough: but for some unknown reason, they had no record of my purchase there: so: another $95 gone…

  75. 75.

    Comrade Mary

    January 25, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    Here’s one of her non-slow-cooker recipes (it’s her recipe of the week, which will change, of course).

  76. 76.

    BethanyAnne

    January 25, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    I like The Sweethome for recommendations. http://thesweethome.com/ They recommend the Hamilton Beach 33967. I bought one last week. Well, they have redesigned the handles, and I didn’t get the new one. I got the 33966 instead. Same design as the 67, but without the “lock the lid down” feature for travelling. 50 bucks from Newegg, not bad.

  77. 77.

    Steeplejack

    January 25, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    @mclaren:

    Crackpot, meet crackkettle.

  78. 78.

    Steeplejack

    January 25, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    @Cole:

    Too bad the “First World problems” thread was yesterday.

  79. 79.

    dww44

    January 25, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    @gbear: Yep, that may be it. Thanks.

  80. 80.

    dww44

    January 25, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    @p.a.: I’ve heard that as well. Can attest that my oldie heats throughout, i.e. bottom and sides.

  81. 81.

    dww44

    January 25, 2014 at 11:45 pm

    @Jay C: I agree and can go you one better with your Cuisinart experience. Mine up and died one month after the one year anniversary/warranty. It was great while it worked. I did note when I researched its replacement that Consumer Reports no longer rated it very well. I think there were lots of purchasers who had the same experience.

    Unfortunately, I replaced it with a Food Network coffeemaker sold at Kohl’s. I now wish it would croak, mostly because the glass carafe has a black plastic lid that cannot be removed. Difficult to fit into my dishwasher.

  82. 82.

    Karla

    January 26, 2014 at 12:22 am

    I have milk heating in my crock pot overnight in the first step of a simple process to have yogurt by the afternoon. As soon as it’s done, I’ll clean it out to make beef stew overnight. It would be useful to save the spare crock from a broken crockpot heater unit, because it would allow moving forward with a second recipe while the first crock was still in use. (I have another crock pot, but it’s bigger and more useful for when I have company.)

    I really like my rice cooker. The steamer tray inset is great for vegetables or potstickers (which I made and froze when cabbages came in my CSA share).

  83. 83.

    Batocchio

    January 26, 2014 at 1:18 am

    @WaterGirl:

    Slow Cooker Revolution comes highly recommended by a couple of friends of mine. I was eyeing a few recipes in my copy last night, but haven’t tried them out yet myself. Meanwhile, Alton Brown’s slow cooker hummus recipe is pretty good, but I’ve since found an even better (non-slow-cooker) one.

  84. 84.

    Tripod

    January 26, 2014 at 1:54 am

    I have three of the things of varying sizes and unknown provenance. I’ve never fired all them up at once. Hmmm…. Superbowl…..

  85. 85.

    Steeplejack

    January 26, 2014 at 2:11 am

    @WaterGirl:

    Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook is very good. It has lots of supplemental information on equipment, general techniques and adapting recipes to the slow cooker.

  86. 86.

    Steeplejack

    January 26, 2014 at 2:15 am

    @gbear:

    Harvest Gold.

  87. 87.

    patty

    January 26, 2014 at 3:16 am

    @dww44: i have a harvest gold rival cp that i/we received for a wedding gift in 1975. the husbands thankfully gone but that crock pot is still going strong.

    btw, i have a cuckoo rice cooker. its korean and it is amazing! my korean neighbor’s rice was so dang good i asked her how she did it and she took me in and showed me her cookers. she had two; the cuckoo and a zohrushu (sp). she said the cuckoo made better rice. it cooks under pressure and i’m telling you you never will eat better rice in your life.

  88. 88.

    PaulW

    January 26, 2014 at 7:55 am

    @jeffreyw:

    Forget it, Jeff. It’s Chinaware…

  89. 89.

    Fred

    January 26, 2014 at 8:18 am

    That is sad. How are the chicken and dumplings taking it?

  90. 90.

    dww44

    January 26, 2014 at 9:29 am

    @patty : Almost as old as mine. I’ve never heard of cuckoo rice cookers. Checked them out and they are apparently the Mercedes- Benz of the rice cooker world.

  91. 91.

    WaterGirl

    January 26, 2014 at 9:43 am

    @Comrade Mary: @Batocchio: @Steeplejack:

    Thank you thank you for the recommendations on the slow cooker cookbooks. What a nice surprise to find them when I got up this morning!

  92. 92.

    rl harrington

    January 26, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    i love my combination ninja crockpot roaster oven
    just the right size and breeze to cleean

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