Sitting here reading a garbage Ludlum novel with Lily on the lap and listening to the Daft Punk album (I really, really liked that performance on the Grammys so I dl’d it), and I looked over on the couch and saw this:
All pet owners will know exactly what I am talking about right now, because when you lean over and see fluffy adorableness like that, you are immediately hit with two competing thoughts:
1.) I want to rub that.
2.) I know if I rub that, it is going to ruin the moment for him.
So basically, what I am confronted with is the cat petting version of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I know it is going to be temporarily awesome to just throw my hand into that warm floofy belly, but if I do, I will change the dynamics of the situation forever.
And so I sit here in silence, suffering, knowing how good it could be to grab a handful of that furry gut but not wanting to interrupt Steve’s bliss for a fleeting moment of personal pleasure. And now I can go to bed happy, having not done a god damned thing or sacrificed one bit for my fellow man, but wholly convinced I am an awesome person because I didn’t fuck with my fat cat.
The human mind rules.
BruinKid
So this happened after the State of the Union.
NY1 has the audio and video of Grimm making the threat to the reporter.
? Martin
@BruinKid: If it was a real threat, the reporter would have pulled out his conceal carry and blown Grimm away like they do in Florida. Since that didn’t happen, and since this is America, it wasn’t a real threat. Move along.
Dolly Llama
Other than some repetitiveness here and there, I think any pet owner will understand and appreciate your post, Mr. Cole.
Alison
Anyone catch Tim Huelskamp being the world’s biggest jackass toward Rachel after the speech? GOOD LORD, not only was he rude and stupid but also unhinged and ridiculous and like……ugh. I wish they hadn’t bothered bringing him on. It was repugnant.
mdblanche
Drip, drip, drip.
wasabi gasp
I was made for rubbing you. You were made for rubbing me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WBVqy9QGIo
ruemara
Pfft, Takkun would have welcomed the tummy rubs. Do it, JC. Unless he’s really expressed a do not touch warning, he might be into it.
themis
I’m just a girl with the flu, but my 4 cats asked me to tell you,,:RUB THE TUMMY! RUB THE DAMN TUMMY! YOU THINK I’M LYING ON MY BACK FOR YOUR DAMN PHOTOS? RUB IT, DAMMIT.
And yes, my kittens are nibbling.. things.
Fucking flu.
theotherwa
@BruinKid: OMG, Grimm is stupid AND an asshole. Thanks for the links. SMDH.
John, wow Steve is floofy! Guess I’ve only seen his face or at least him sitting up. He’s a giant floof ball when lying down. How could you resist that tummy? You’re stronger than I am.
sm*t cl*de
That tummy won’t rub itself, house-ape.
wormtown
wow.. my first thought was “how did that cat end up in a shelter – who would give him up?”
Montarvillois
Wow, lookit the girth on that boy.
Bill ORLY
We have a Maine mix who looks a bit like Steve. Like all of our cats, he LOVES having his belly rubbed. I guess we’re lucky that way.
Trinity
Sleeping fat cats rule.
kc
I’ll bet Steve doesn’t extend you the same courtesy . . .
Manyakitty
I think Schrodinger’s box might be a better analogy than Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle here.
Heisenberg said, in a nutshell, that at a given point in time, you can either know where something is or how fast it’s going, but not both. The Schrodinger’s cat thought experiment, on the other hand, leaves open infinite possibilities, with the actual outcome unknown until you “open the box.”
I only add this comment because Heisenberg and Schrodinger are two of my cats, and as such, I spend lots of time thinking about those guys.
Mnemosyne
Here’s the trick — you stretch your hand out as if to rub the belly and see if Steve responds. If he chirps and rolls over to lay fully on his back, he wants a rub (though it’s no guarantee he won’t decide to wrestle your hand a few seconds in). If he’s totally oblivious, let sleeping cats lie.
Jerzy Russian
What you are describing is not really the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. That principle states that you cannot measure complementary quantities like time and energy to arbitrary accuracy at the same time. You are talking more along the lines of a measurement disturbing the quantum state of a system. If you rub his belly, then it collapses his wave function. In this case, you did the right thing by doing nothing and taking a picture at the end.
Nazgul35
You passed the Gom Jabbar test…welcome human.
MazeDancer
Any performance with Nile Rodgers in it, always going to be great.