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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Late Night Open Thread

Late Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  January 29, 20142:25 am| 20 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Music, Open Threads, Stream of Consciousness

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Sitting here reading a garbage Ludlum novel with Lily on the lap and listening to the Daft Punk album (I really, really liked that performance on the Grammys so I dl’d it), and I looked over on the couch and saw this:

onetiredkitty

All pet owners will know exactly what I am talking about right now, because when you lean over and see fluffy adorableness like that, you are immediately hit with two competing thoughts:

1.) I want to rub that.

2.) I know if I rub that, it is going to ruin the moment for him.

So basically, what I am confronted with is the cat petting version of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I know it is going to be temporarily awesome to just throw my hand into that warm floofy belly, but if I do, I will change the dynamics of the situation forever.

And so I sit here in silence, suffering, knowing how good it could be to grab a handful of that furry gut but not wanting to interrupt Steve’s bliss for a fleeting moment of personal pleasure. And now I can go to bed happy, having not done a god damned thing or sacrificed one bit for my fellow man, but wholly convinced I am an awesome person because I didn’t fuck with my fat cat.

The human mind rules.

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Previous Post: « I Don’t Have to Go Out Because Awesome Things Happen in My Living Room
Next Post: What A Drag It is Getting Old »

Reader Interactions

20Comments

  1. 1.

    BruinKid

    January 29, 2014 at 2:34 am

    So this happened after the State of the Union.

    NY1 has the audio and video of Grimm making the threat to the reporter.

  2. 2.

    ? Martin

    January 29, 2014 at 2:41 am

    @BruinKid: If it was a real threat, the reporter would have pulled out his conceal carry and blown Grimm away like they do in Florida. Since that didn’t happen, and since this is America, it wasn’t a real threat. Move along.

  3. 3.

    Dolly Llama

    January 29, 2014 at 2:43 am

    Other than some repetitiveness here and there, I think any pet owner will understand and appreciate your post, Mr. Cole.

  4. 4.

    Alison

    January 29, 2014 at 2:54 am

    Anyone catch Tim Huelskamp being the world’s biggest jackass toward Rachel after the speech? GOOD LORD, not only was he rude and stupid but also unhinged and ridiculous and like……ugh. I wish they hadn’t bothered bringing him on. It was repugnant.

  5. 5.

    mdblanche

    January 29, 2014 at 2:57 am

    Drip, drip, drip.

  6. 6.

    wasabi gasp

    January 29, 2014 at 3:08 am

    I was made for rubbing you. You were made for rubbing me.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WBVqy9QGIo

  7. 7.

    ruemara

    January 29, 2014 at 3:11 am

    Pfft, Takkun would have welcomed the tummy rubs. Do it, JC. Unless he’s really expressed a do not touch warning, he might be into it.

  8. 8.

    themis

    January 29, 2014 at 3:15 am

    I’m just a girl with the flu, but my 4 cats asked me to tell you,,:RUB THE TUMMY! RUB THE DAMN TUMMY! YOU THINK I’M LYING ON MY BACK FOR YOUR DAMN PHOTOS? RUB IT, DAMMIT.

    And yes, my kittens are nibbling.. things.

    Fucking flu.

  9. 9.

    theotherwa

    January 29, 2014 at 5:15 am

    @BruinKid: OMG, Grimm is stupid AND an asshole. Thanks for the links. SMDH.

    John, wow Steve is floofy! Guess I’ve only seen his face or at least him sitting up. He’s a giant floof ball when lying down. How could you resist that tummy? You’re stronger than I am.

  10. 10.

    sm*t cl*de

    January 29, 2014 at 5:28 am

    That tummy won’t rub itself, house-ape.

  11. 11.

    wormtown

    January 29, 2014 at 7:29 am

    wow.. my first thought was “how did that cat end up in a shelter – who would give him up?”

  12. 12.

    Montarvillois

    January 29, 2014 at 7:30 am

    Wow, lookit the girth on that boy.

  13. 13.

    Bill ORLY

    January 29, 2014 at 8:48 am

    We have a Maine mix who looks a bit like Steve. Like all of our cats, he LOVES having his belly rubbed. I guess we’re lucky that way.

  14. 14.

    Trinity

    January 29, 2014 at 8:49 am

    Sleeping fat cats rule.

  15. 15.

    kc

    January 29, 2014 at 9:51 am

    I’ll bet Steve doesn’t extend you the same courtesy . . .

  16. 16.

    Manyakitty

    January 29, 2014 at 10:31 am

    I think Schrodinger’s box might be a better analogy than Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle here.

    Heisenberg said, in a nutshell, that at a given point in time, you can either know where something is or how fast it’s going, but not both. The Schrodinger’s cat thought experiment, on the other hand, leaves open infinite possibilities, with the actual outcome unknown until you “open the box.”

    I only add this comment because Heisenberg and Schrodinger are two of my cats, and as such, I spend lots of time thinking about those guys.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    January 29, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Here’s the trick — you stretch your hand out as if to rub the belly and see if Steve responds. If he chirps and rolls over to lay fully on his back, he wants a rub (though it’s no guarantee he won’t decide to wrestle your hand a few seconds in). If he’s totally oblivious, let sleeping cats lie.

  18. 18.

    Jerzy Russian

    January 29, 2014 at 10:36 am

    What you are describing is not really the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. That principle states that you cannot measure complementary quantities like time and energy to arbitrary accuracy at the same time. You are talking more along the lines of a measurement disturbing the quantum state of a system. If you rub his belly, then it collapses his wave function. In this case, you did the right thing by doing nothing and taking a picture at the end.

  19. 19.

    Nazgul35

    January 29, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    You passed the Gom Jabbar test…welcome human.

  20. 20.

    MazeDancer

    January 29, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    Any performance with Nile Rodgers in it, always going to be great.

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