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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Stream of Consciousness / So That Happened, In Case You Forgot

So That Happened, In Case You Forgot

by John Cole|  February 2, 20147:35 pm| 58 Comments

This post is in: Stream of Consciousness

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Ten years ago, this happened:

At the same time that America was collectively losing our shit and screaming “what about the children” because some kids up way too late may have seen a breast for the first time in, I dunno, since the last time they saw mom naked around the house after showering or while changing or slipping into a swimsuit on vacation, we were raining down millions of tons of ordinance on a nation because some crackpots in another country attacked us, and I was cheering the policy.

So, yeah.

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Reader Interactions

58Comments

  1. 1.

    JPL

    February 2, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    It’s still about the nipples huh.

  2. 2.

    PsiFighter37

    February 2, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Janet Jackson’s tits will rule us long after we have left this earthly realm.

  3. 3.

    Amir Khalid

    February 2, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Don’t forget that this led to Justin Timberlake’s famous contribution to the English language: the still-current expression, “wardrobe malfunction”.

  4. 4.

    Fluke bucket

    February 2, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Ten years? God damn!

  5. 5.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 2, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Another great moment in American sexual puritanism.

    This is the sort of thing that Mike Huckabee and Rih S*nt*r*m” want to make routine.

  6. 6.

    Baud

    February 2, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Maybe we’ll see dick tonight.

    For the ladies.

  7. 7.

    Suffern ACE

    February 2, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    I’m wearing pasties myself this evening, just to make the game interesting.

  8. 8.

    Suffern ACE

    February 2, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    @Baud: a red hot chili pecker?

  9. 9.

    cathyx

    February 2, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    Just think, that boob is 10 years older and probably sagging.

  10. 10.

    muddy

    February 2, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    It’s sad the way Timberlake was drummed out of the biz over it, and it wasn’t even his shameful, disgusting breast.

  11. 11.

    Helen

    February 2, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    OH YEAH. Coke doing some wing-nut trolling.

  12. 12.

    PsiFighter37

    February 2, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    @cathyx: I would bet a non-zero amount of money that there’s been some support enhancement to make sure that’s not the case.

  13. 13.

    KG

    February 2, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    @Helen: my first thought, about half way though that commercial was… Cue Wingnut outrage in 3, 2, 1…

  14. 14.

    Freemark

    February 2, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Who wants to bet on how ape shit the wingnuts are going to go over the multilingual and multicultural America the Beautiful Coke ad?

  15. 15.

    Botsplainer

    February 2, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    I could use some nekkid titties to break up this snore fest.

  16. 16.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    February 2, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    That is what I thought at the time, but it is not just sexual puritanism, it is puritanism about everything, guess why there are no windows in bars, and girly mags are under special wrappers, even though there is nothing even slightly offensive on the front cover? Of course I come from a country where you can see a pair of tits on display in the daily newspaper every day.

  17. 17.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 2, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    @Freemark:

    I’m sure that they’re going ballistic as we speak.

    Suffer, maggots. Suffer.

  18. 18.

    PsiFighter37

    February 2, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    @Freemark: I’ll enjoy the thread someone writes about it tomorrow. Nothing like a bunch of dumb white bumblefucks freaking out at the fact that ‘those people’ are taking away ‘their country’.

  19. 19.

    Baud

    February 2, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    @PsiFighter37:

    Newsmax will have it up soon.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    February 2, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    America’s football fans stand out from other fans in their belief in the supernatural…”

    Synopsis of a survey by the Public Religion Research Institute

  21. 21.

    James E. Powell

    February 2, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    @Freemark:

    The truth is that the wing-nuts go completely ape shit even when nothing happens. Sometimes I think it’s what they do instead of sex.

  22. 22.

    sparrow

    February 2, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    I’m guessing this is open-threadish, right? Right.

    We can’t trust the general public.

    It was the general public that stopped the underwear bomber, and nearly every other thwarted terrorist attempt over the past 9 years, for that matter. Maybe it was the general public who shouldn’t trust us. I wanted to raise my hand and say that, but a thing like that could get a screener marked.

    “Well then, alright,” the instructor concludes, hands clasped. “I think we all know what a crotch looks like. Now let’s get out there, and perform.”

    Thousands of kids fresh out of high school with minimal training were being granted the power to put people into radiation machines and view their nude images; the descendants of entire generations of boys let down by empty comic-book promises of x-ray spec vision finally scoring— and, of course, all of it was feather-light on the benefit side of the cost-benefit scales. It seemed to me that it was the beginning of yet another soul-stiflingly dumb thing at the airport. I would turn out to be right.

    Apparently, a pretty damn good writer has been working for the TSA for years for some mystical reason. Lots of technical and ranty stuff, but also some comedy gold here:

    http://takingsenseaway.wordpress.com/page/12/

    He just revealed himself to Politiho: http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/01/tsa-screener-confession-102912.html#.Uu7qdvaCaII

  23. 23.

    KG

    February 2, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    @NotMax: football (at all levels) is biggest in the south, Texas and Florida in particular. The correlation isn’t much of a surprise

  24. 24.

    Smiling Mortician

    February 2, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    So was it just me, or was that an ad for Scientology? Is that a thing now?

  25. 25.

    Calming Influence

    February 2, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    I can see seahawks from my house, and I’m also liking this Superb Owl so far.

  26. 26.

    Karen in GA

    February 2, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    @Freemark: Coke’s apology for Sochi sponsorship, I thought.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 2, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    @Litlebritdiftrnt:

    The US got the religious nuts, Australia got the thieves and prostitutes.

    Australia wins!

  28. 28.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 2, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    @Smiling Mortician:

    If it’s a thing, it’s a really stupid thing.

  29. 29.

    Violet

    February 2, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    Hey, it’s the Seinfeld ad!

  30. 30.

    Baud

    February 2, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    In this Super Bowl, the role of commuters stuck on the GWB will be played by the Denver Broncos.

  31. 31.

    cathyx

    February 2, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    I’m rooting for the Red Hot Chili Peppers ripping the pants off of Bruno Mars and we get pen!s exposure.
    It is 2014 after all.

  32. 32.

    cathyx

    February 2, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    It’s Bruno and the Supremes. I love it. It’s retro.

  33. 33.

    Belafon

    February 2, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    @Freemark: Maybe they’ll all stop buying Microsoft products as well. The new CEO is going to be Satya Nadella. He heads their computing platforms, development tools, and cloud services according to wikipedia.

  34. 34.

    gbear

    February 2, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    @cathyx: He’ll be wearing a sock.

  35. 35.

    sparrow

    February 2, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    @cathyx: They could just plan “Cabron”…

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 2, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @gbear:

    Probably a baby sock.

  37. 37.

    cathyx

    February 2, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @gbear: Not in my fantasy.

  38. 38.

    Violet

    February 2, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    I like Bruno Mars. He’s fun and the music is danceable. Everyone looks like they’re having a good time. Can’t wait for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

  39. 39.

    gbear

    February 2, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Shake your bootie.

  40. 40.

    scott (the other one)

    February 2, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Still blows my mind. A quarter of second of nip slip ends one superstar’s career, effectively, while the other star–the guy who ripped off her shirt–has only gone on to be even more fantastically popular. No sexism there.

  41. 41.

    Suffern ACE

    February 2, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    He’s just so dreamy, that Bruno Mars. I just hope he quits smoking. I don’t see him as the kind of singer who can pull off that kind of damage.

  42. 42.

    Ruckus

    February 2, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    @Litlebritdiftrnt:
    When I was in the navy over 40 yrs ago we were ported in Rotterdam and an older gentleman gave us a walking tour of the city. We walked down a street and across the street was an elementary school K-6 or so. As we walked we came to a pharmacy and in the front window was a life sized poster for Chanel, beautiful woman, full frontal nude. My first thought was, this would never happen in the US.

  43. 43.

    Karen in GA

    February 2, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Give It Away. Dedicated to the Denver Broncos.

  44. 44.

    Botsplainer

    February 2, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    1996 called. It wants it’s tribal tats back, covered or at least blended with work from the last five years.

  45. 45.

    Calming Influence

    February 2, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    @Karen in GA: :)

  46. 46.

    Smiling Mortician

    February 2, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yeah, no kidding. It’s just that I haven’t had TV since the 1990s and very recently decided to hook up the cable again. I’m experiencing a bit of culture shock. I’ll be OK in a while.

  47. 47.

    Elmo

    February 2, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    So my wife and I loved the multilingual Coke ad, and said at the same time, Yeah, but you know there are ppl out there who hate it.
    So I went to Freeperville to see them in their native habitat. And sure nuff, there is some serious butthurt in the rightosphere. Furriners! Singing! In their own gibberish, instead of Jesus English as God intended!

  48. 48.

    karen

    February 2, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    @muddy:

    It’s sad the way Timberlake was drummed out of the biz over it, and it wasn’t even his shameful, disgusting breast.

    Not sure if you’re being snarky or not but Janet Jackson’s career ended on that day. Justin’s career just rose.

  49. 49.

    jon

    February 2, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    Meanwhile, an ocean away, the British show this on the telly.

  50. 50.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    February 2, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    Ten years ago, my dad was living with us (Parkinsons), and he and my husband were watching Super Bowl while I read out in the Iiving room. I walked in to his bedroom to watch the half time entertainment, and the first thing I saw was JJ’s tit. I stood there watching for a few more seconds, then asked the guys if they had seen what I had just seen. They hooted at me, and told me I was crazy. I remind my husband of this every year at this time – but not Daddy, of course. He’s gone, but is probably still arguing with me about it.

  51. 51.

    gian

    February 2, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    @efgoldman:

    end of him if the refs call the game like they did. dude is seriously gifted, and it’s more mental than physical.
    and the rule changes to protect QBs and defenseless receivers have extended his career
    he’ll make a hell of an offensive coordinator if he can understand not everyone gets it as quickly as he does.

  52. 52.

    Delk

    February 2, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Janet’s nipple was the inspiration for You Tube.

  53. 53.

    dp

    February 2, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Timberlake pulled it off, but Jackson has suffered the consequences.

    I think the nipple jewelry is to blame, as it made it look premeditated on her part.

  54. 54.

    muddy

    February 2, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    @karen: Yes.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    February 3, 2014 at 1:02 am

    @The Fat Kate Middleton:

    I was watching with my husband and (now late) father-in-law. We all recognized a boob when we saw one. ;-) We had a minute of, Did you see what I just saw? but we all agreed on what we had seen.

    I did sort of buy the “wardrobe malfunction” excuse, actually. It looked like the top part of the corset cup was supposed to break away, leaving the sheer red fabric covering the actual boobage, but Timberlake accidentally pulled the whole thing off.

    And then proceeded to throw Jackson to the wolves like a cowardly asshole, but I digress.

  56. 56.

    Death Panel Truck

    February 3, 2014 at 2:38 am

    @dp: Janet Jackson suffered the consequences? I just looked at Wikipedia, and if it is to be believed, “ruined her career” seems more than a little bit premature, as well as ridiculous. Looks to me like she’s doing all right. But what does this white guy from eastern Washington know? You say she’s finished? Whatever.

  57. 57.

    Death Panel Truck

    February 3, 2014 at 2:43 am

    @karen: Ended? Seriously? Let’s dial back the hysteria a bit, okay?

  58. 58.

    Shazza

    February 3, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    @Death Panel Truck: Her music career DID end with this.
    The 2 albums she released after this didn’t do as well and she was banned from the Grammys. She hasn’t been on them since. Even as recent as 2007, Tyler Perry had to defend her against some morning reporters bringing this debacle up.

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