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You are here: Home / Absent Friends / Who Will Star In the Movie About Me?

Who Will Star In the Movie About Me?

by John Cole|  February 5, 201411:47 pm| 44 Comments

This post is in: Absent Friends

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Sigh.

BTW- if DougJ is a Dave man, I am a Craig Ferguson man, because he is hands down the funniest late night guy.

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Next Post: On the Value of Knowing When to Shut the Fuck Up »

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44Comments

  1. 1.

    YellowJournalism

    February 5, 2014 at 11:53 pm

    Okay, now I feel better for having a similar thought about an hour after hearing the news.

    I also think he would have been the perfect person to play my high school drama teacher if anyone ever made a movie of HIS life, but for different reasons.

  2. 2.

    Jebediah, RBG

    February 5, 2014 at 11:53 pm

    Yes yes re: Ferguson

  3. 3.

    YellowJournalism

    February 5, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    And I really wish someone would have made a loose sequel that focused solely on PSH’s character, complete with an all-star dream cast playing the fake Brat Pack.

  4. 4.

    Culture of Truth

    February 5, 2014 at 11:56 pm

    Donal Logue?

  5. 5.

    some guy

    February 5, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    @Culture of Truth:

    Jesse Peretz dd everything he could to make him a star. no luck

  6. 6.

    Steeplejack

    February 6, 2014 at 12:00 am

    Some discussion of Craig Ferguson in the thread downstairs.

  7. 7.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 12:03 am

    I guess it depends on the script. Will this be a sweeping epic that requires us to cast a “young cole” and and “old Cole?”

  8. 8.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:08 am

    @Suffern ACE: Jesus, that would be like DeNiro in Raging Bull.. But with a neck beard.

  9. 9.

    joel hanes

    February 6, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Cole biopic : we’ll want Dick VanDyke as stunt coordinator.

  10. 10.

    MikeJ

    February 6, 2014 at 12:19 am

    @joel hanes: When I watch clips from the Dick Van Dyke show I want more undercupping.

  11. 11.

    Violet

    February 6, 2014 at 12:21 am

    According to Memebase, look alikes for PSH include Michael Vanderbyl, Robert Scoble and Meg Whitman. Meg Whitman would be an interesting choice to play Cole.

  12. 12.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:21 am

    @joel hanes: Chevy Chase. Less elegant while falling.

  13. 13.

    Violet

    February 6, 2014 at 12:27 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Probably need to hire a couple of stunt doubles as well.

  14. 14.

    Mike E

    February 6, 2014 at 12:27 am

    @Steeplejack: Ferguson enjoys himself thoroughly in this oft tired TV vehicle, lets his freak flag fly, and lets it all hang out. Hysterical. Plus, he is a fierce patriot who is so proud of becoming a US citizen that he got a badass tattoo to commemorate his naturalization.

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    February 6, 2014 at 12:27 am

    Peter Scolari.

  16. 16.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 12:28 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: I think we need two actors. I guess if we can believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt will grow up to be Bruce Wills (see Looper), matching types isn’t necessary. Maybe to keep it fresh, we could have Michael Cera play old Cole and and Kevin Spacey play young cole.

  17. 17.

    ranchandsyrup

    February 6, 2014 at 12:29 am

    Is there still time to get footage of the Subaru in the field?

  18. 18.

    Suzanne

    February 6, 2014 at 12:30 am

    I have been told I look like Tina Fey, so she can play me.

    Ferguson is hilarious.

  19. 19.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:30 am

    @Violet: By a “couple,” you mean a “couple of dozen,” right?

  20. 20.

    Violet

    February 6, 2014 at 12:32 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Of course. Just didn’t want to put that on the budget line. Do we also need an ambulance on standby?

  21. 21.

    Roger Moore

    February 6, 2014 at 12:35 am

    The actor who would play me is obvious.

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    February 6, 2014 at 12:35 am

    @NotMax

    Also too, perhaps Michael Keaton or Skeet Ulrich?

    Ooh, ooh, hold the phone – howzabout Josh McDermitt?

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:36 am

    @Violet:

    Do we also need an ambulance on standby?

    Duh

  24. 24.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    February 6, 2014 at 12:37 am

    @Violet: Absolutely. A helicopter for transport to a level 3trauma center should probably be a line item also.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    February 6, 2014 at 12:37 am

    @Roger Moore

    Pierce Brosnan?

    /couldn’t resist

  26. 26.

    Roger Moore

    February 6, 2014 at 12:37 am

    @Violet:

    Do we also need an ambulance on standby?

    I’m thinking a MASH unit on set would be a better call.

  27. 27.

    MikeJ

    February 6, 2014 at 12:39 am

    @NotMax: George Lazenby

  28. 28.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 12:42 am

    Bruce Dern could play very old cole. We need to start working on this script. What we need to figure out is where Cole will be in 30 years so that this whole thing can get made while we’re still around to see it.

    Now, are the dogs in this movie really dogs or are they symbolic somehow? Is it o.k. if they talk?

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    February 6, 2014 at 12:44 am

    @Suffern ACE

    What we need to figure out is where Cole will be in 30 years

    In traction.

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:46 am

    @Suzanne: For me, it looks like Ed Helms/ Hugh Grant. For the younger than 30 me, who the fuck knows.

  31. 31.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 12:47 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

  32. 32.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 6, 2014 at 12:48 am

    @Suffern ACE:

    Now, are the dogs in this movie really dogs or are they symbolic somehow? Is it o.k. if they talk?

    No, the dogs can’t talk. I lived near NYC in the summer of ’77. Talking dogs are bad shit.

    @Suffern ACE: Hmmm…. In college, I always got the Tom Hulce as Pinto comparison.

  33. 33.

    lurker dean

    February 6, 2014 at 12:50 am

    eric stonestreet? lol

  34. 34.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 12:52 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: O.K. maybe they don’t talk to Cole. They just kind of comment on the action.

  35. 35.

    NotMax

    February 6, 2014 at 12:52 am

    @Omes Omnibus

    It can be done like the dog Cleo in the old TV series The People’s Choice, where the dog’s thoughts are given by an off-screen voice.

  36. 36.

    MikeJ

    February 6, 2014 at 12:53 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Talking dogs are bad shit.

    It was ok in Pynchon’s Mason & Dixon.

  37. 37.

    YellowJournalism

    February 6, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Just watched Patrick Stewart on The Daily Show. I would like to see his take on the challenge that is the role of John Cole.

  38. 38.

    Hill Dweller

    February 6, 2014 at 1:10 am

    @YellowJournalism: I thought Clooney was supposed to be on the show tonight.

  39. 39.

    Suffern ACE

    February 6, 2014 at 1:57 am

    Zac Efron might be cast in next years star wars reboot. I guess he won’t be available to play cole, either.

  40. 40.

    TG Chicago

    February 6, 2014 at 3:02 am

    From what I’ve seen of Ferguson, he’s not as good as Letterman at his career best. But he’s WAYYYYY better than Letterman any time recently.

  41. 41.

    Katharsis

    February 6, 2014 at 3:55 am

    The only late night person I can actually watch a whole show of would be Jimmy Kimmel. Everyone else I can only tolerate for so long. My tolerance threshold goes in this order(highest to lowest):
    Craig Ferguson
    Conan O’brien
    David Letterman

    I don’t even bother with Leno, and I haven’t seen enough Fallon to know where he goes on that list–even though I like his occasional music spoofs.

  42. 42.

    ? Martin

    February 6, 2014 at 4:00 am

    Huh. I think Stephen Colbert might be closest in general appearance, though he’d need to let himself go a bit, and lose most of his talent to really capture the true me.

  43. 43.

    John Carter

    February 6, 2014 at 8:28 am

    Young Cole: the cat from the credits of the Mary Tyler Moore Show:
    Old Cole: Morris the Cat.

  44. 44.

    ultraviolet thunder

    February 6, 2014 at 9:41 am

    In the biopic, the pets will all be imaginary, inhabiting Cole’s mind. He’ll have conversations with them and everyone else will think he’s off his rocker.

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