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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Open Thread

Open Thread

by John Cole|  February 18, 20141:08 am| 61 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links

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Tell me this is not one of the greatest craigslist ads you have ever seen looking for a roommate, because I think it is. It is not remotely surprising that he is from Austin.

Also, I fully agree with pterodactyl-free zones. That just seems like a no-brainer for me, and I am not even a space robot researcher.

Thank you, Austin, for keeping it weird and exporting your human samples to strange and mysterious regions.

*** Update ***

I would seriously pay 50 bucks for a new episode of True Detective or a hockey puck sized valium, because I just want to fall asleep but can not because I slept so much last night and today, and I just feel like all I am doing is writing nasty things and then deleting them because I am cranky and feel like shit then realize how caustic the bullshit I am spewing is to people. Every now and then I remember that you commenters are people and I regret what I have said. I hate this shit. I want this cold to end.

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Reader Interactions

61Comments

  1. 1.

    maeve

    February 18, 2014 at 1:21 am

    Obviously not a Torchwood fan, or he (she? they? ze?) would not be so pterodactyl-phobic

  2. 2.

    A Farmer

    February 18, 2014 at 1:21 am

    Pterodactyls are so misunderstood and get a bad rap. It’s not like they’re pit bulls or something. Mine is so loving. It’s not bad pterodactyls, it’s bad owners.

  3. 3.

    Yatsuno

    February 18, 2014 at 1:30 am

    @A Farmer: Okay I chortled.

    Also, Why am I the last to know this?

  4. 4.

    The Dangerman

    February 18, 2014 at 1:30 am

    Almost makes me miss my Aerospace days; the hours could be tortuous, but, damn, there was fun to be had with some curious personalities (as much fun as could be had in an environment heavily weighted towards men, at least in those days).

  5. 5.

    Suffern ACE

    February 18, 2014 at 1:33 am

    @A Farmer: yeah. Gentle little guys they are, not much bigger than an emporer penguin, and people went nuts for those penguins in Happy Feet. People hear “pterodactyl” and visualize “Quetzalcoatlus”. I blame the Flintstones go to Hollyrock for misinformation about the species.

  6. 6.

    Violet

    February 18, 2014 at 1:34 am

    I once played a game where you donned a helmet and you were inside some video game and pterodactyls were swooping out of the sky and plucking you off the ground and taking you away. When that happened, you’d lose. It was scary.

  7. 7.

    srv

    February 18, 2014 at 1:34 am

    As an Austin expat, graph here (h/t teh Fallows):

    http://www.gayinaustintexas.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Net-Migration-small.png

    As you can see, there are more invaders than exports. That’s because the Kewl Kids are hip before the hipster hoardes.

  8. 8.

    piratedan

    February 18, 2014 at 1:40 am

    @A Farmer: I had one once, named him Turu, sold him to an old guy in a wheelchair who needed an assist animal when he moved away to a remote plateau… I wonder whatever happened to him…. he never wrote…

  9. 9.

    jl

    February 18, 2014 at 1:41 am

    @srv: Hayl, seem t’ me thayre a lot o’ move ment between Austin ‘n; thayt thayre NOOOO YORK CITY!

    I seen parts of Texas. West Texas was pretty awesome. I was with some west Texas friends and I would hang back all quiet like while my friends would talk with some local all west Texas style. And I’d sneak up close and say something. And them ol’ boys, hot damn, they didn’t know there were a Califoriyaian right up agin’ ’em Hooooo! You should seen those ol’ boys jump when I opened my maw and talked Californiate.

    Pecos Valley people are cantankerous. I am being polite. One place I do not want to go through again.

  10. 10.

    srv

    February 18, 2014 at 1:54 am

    @jl: The natives are mostly fine, it’s all them immigrants from the Bible Belt that tarnished the state.

    Like the Second Exodus it was. I blame JR.

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    February 18, 2014 at 1:59 am

    @srv: The natives are fine but when they lost at San Jacinto it was all downhill from there.

  12. 12.

    Mister Papercut

    February 18, 2014 at 1:59 am

    As soon as I hit the “Class of 2007, Virginia Tech.” line, my heart sank. Then I put two and two together with him getting his PhD at the University of Texas, and realized he must be this guy.

    Good man. Please do right by him, Morgantown.

  13. 13.

    Jewish Steel

    February 18, 2014 at 2:00 am

    I wonder if there’s a German compound word for “A winter that wants a punch in the face?”

  14. 14.

    John Cole

    February 18, 2014 at 2:03 am

    @A Farmer: I like to think I am occasionally open-minded, but I am just not ready to embrace a pterodactyl free society. Deep at heart, we are all bigots.

  15. 15.

    sm*t cl*de

    February 18, 2014 at 2:05 am

    I would prefer to live in a neighborhood free of flying dinosaurs

    Pterodactyls are NOT DINOSAURS. Harumph.

  16. 16.

    Alison

    February 18, 2014 at 2:05 am

    @Yatsuno: Well, no one knew until they tweeted the pic Friday night (I believe). She looks so happy :)

  17. 17.

    Linda Featheringill

    February 18, 2014 at 2:07 am

    Awesome ad, John.

    I think you should respond s’il vous plait. He probably doesn’t want to actually live in your neck of the woods but it would certainly be nice to have him in your circle of friends.

  18. 18.

    divF

    February 18, 2014 at 2:14 am

    @Mister Papercut:

    A good man, indeed, and a cute Craigslist ad.

    We occasionally see “Keep Austin Weird” bumperstickers around these parts. There is a lot of paraphernalia with the same label at the Austin airport, as well. This has always struck me as the act of people fighting an uphill battle. No one has ever felt the need to exhort people to keep Berkeley weird (it seems to do that on its own quite nicely TYVM).

  19. 19.

    A Farmer

    February 18, 2014 at 2:16 am

    @Suffern ACE: I believe the Simpsons have also engaged in speciesist pterodactyl stereotypes. Pterodactyl bigotry is the last acceptable prejudice (up yours, Bill Donohue).

  20. 20.

    mdblanche

    February 18, 2014 at 2:21 am

    Obligatory link.

  21. 21.

    ruemara

    February 18, 2014 at 2:45 am

    I would seriously pay 50 bucks for a new episode of True Detective or a hockey puck sized valium, because I just want to fall asleep but can not because I slept so much last night and today, and I just feel like all I am doing is writing nasty things and then deleting them because I am cranky and feel like shit then realize how caustic the bullshit I am spewing is to people. Every now and then I remember that you commenters are people and I regret what I have said. I hate this shit. I want this cold to end.

    Sorry, man. I’m stuck trying to clean up after a massive cooking and baking spree, otherwise, I’d be snoring. You need some of my patented damiana, valerian, hops tea. It tastes like a weak, herbal beer. It hits like a mac truck. But gently. How about a little lights off, no electronic devices, meditation time? Stretch a little, then, just lie flat on your bed, get your mind clear and breathe. Let it all go. You may find yourself asleep, but at the very least, you’ll be able to relax.

  22. 22.

    Chocko Rocko

    February 18, 2014 at 3:20 am

    Make an anonymous profile and go troll somewhere. It is much healthier to express negative emotions than to suppress them only to have everything emerge in some other, more damaging fashion after festering.

  23. 23.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    February 18, 2014 at 3:49 am

    Japan and Germany tied at 1 after the first period of the 7/8 classification game of the women’s hockey tournament. C’mon, Japan.

  24. 24.

    Anne Laurie

    February 18, 2014 at 3:50 am

    I just want to fall asleep but can not because I slept so much last night and today

    Online jigsaw puzzles, or crosswords, or sudoku. Something that requires just enough mental activity to be distracting, and when you finish one your primate brain is happy for the banana chip. Very soothing, and if you look up after Puzzle #375 and it’s morning, at least you haven’t left a mess that will need to be cleaned up later!

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 4:01 am

    BJ pet calendar needs more pterodactyls.

  26. 26.

    MMM

    February 18, 2014 at 4:17 am

    Hope you are sleeping Mr. Cole. But if you are up, do not call me.

  27. 27.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    February 18, 2014 at 4:18 am

    Germany’s up 3-1 and Japan is out of gas.

  28. 28.

    RandomMonster

    February 18, 2014 at 4:21 am

    Know that however much we argue, John, we love you all the same.

  29. 29.

    TheHalfrican

    February 18, 2014 at 4:23 am

    Holy shit True Detective cannot seriously be that good can it? When did McConaughey become King Midas?

  30. 30.

    Tyro

    February 18, 2014 at 5:20 am

    I liked the Pterodactyl-free-zone bit, but that guy comes across as seriously high maintenance for a roommate.

  31. 31.

    EriktheRed

    February 18, 2014 at 5:57 am

    I want this cold to end.

    Know what ya mean, John.

    Right now I just want last night’s dinner to hurry up and make the reappearance it’s been threatening to make (already happened to the wife last night) so I can go back to sleep. I already called into my job, saying I won’t be in today.

  32. 32.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 6:02 am

    @EriktheRed: I bought a humidifier yesterday and it seems to be helping with my cough.

  33. 33.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    February 18, 2014 at 6:15 am

    @raven: I bought a new tablet on Friday, says it has Augmented Reality. I didn’t know what Augmented Reality was, googled it and found some interesting apps.

    ETA: Nicole Wallace is still an idiot.

  34. 34.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 6:16 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA: dang

  35. 35.

    icedfire

    February 18, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Partner’s mom passed away about two hours ago, roughly 12 hours after they switched from aggressive to palliative care. Much sooner than we all expected…makes me wonder if it would’ve happened regardless of our decision regarding treatment.

    This year pretty much sucks so far…

  36. 36.

    Anne Laurie

    February 18, 2014 at 6:21 am

    @Tyro:

    I liked the Pterodactyl-free-zone bit, but that guy comes across as seriously high maintenance for a roommate.

    I’m just sad he won’t be camping in Cole’s guest bedroom. You know that would be serious entertainment value for the rest of us!

  37. 37.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 6:22 am

    @icedfire: It’s human to second guess those kinds of decisions but you do your best with what you have.

  38. 38.

    Anne Laurie

    February 18, 2014 at 6:24 am

    @icedfire: My condolences.

  39. 39.

    icedfire

    February 18, 2014 at 6:34 am

    @raven: It’s not so much second guessing as it is realizing that we were closer to the end than we thought. If we were still treating her to try to prolong life, the same thing would’ve happened most likely.

    @Anne Laurie: Thanks Anne.

    Time to drive up to Fargo and back…off to grandmother’s house we go.

  40. 40.

    EriktheRed

    February 18, 2014 at 6:36 am

    @EriktheRed:

    Done.

    Now I can sleep again.

  41. 41.

    Barry

    February 18, 2014 at 8:21 am

    John: “…but can not because I slept so much last night and today, and I just feel like all I am doing is writing nasty things and then deleting them because I am cranky and feel like shit…”

    Whenever this happens, call your parents. They’ll take you on a loooooooong car ride until you fall asleep. Now, they can’t carry you to bed any more, so they’ll just park the car and go to bed while you sleep in the car :)

  42. 42.

    Paul in KY

    February 18, 2014 at 8:24 am

    @sm*t cl*de: Agreed. They are a form of Archeosaur, maybe most closely related to dinosaurs, but definitely not a dinosaur.

  43. 43.

    Paul in KY

    February 18, 2014 at 8:26 am

    @Tyro: He sounds so ‘cool’ that pretty soon everyone would think your house was his house.

  44. 44.

    Paul in KY

    February 18, 2014 at 8:26 am

    @icedfire: Very sorry to hear that. My condolences to your family.

  45. 45.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 8:33 am

    @Jewish Steel:
    You could try dropping “Backpfeifenwinter” into your conversations/blog comments and see if it catches on.

  46. 46.

    muricafukyea

    February 18, 2014 at 8:47 am

    I see wrong way Cole is trying the DougJ tactic of accidental troll. Saying they are not the idiot they seem, only pretending to be one….yea that’s it.

    Yea Cole never REEEaaly liked Griftwald…no no he is just trying to get rise out of people…yea that’s it. He never blew wet kisses to fat bastard KhristieKreme…no no that was just for effect is all.

    The voting for Bush twice thing…yea it was all planned out that way as part of his deep undercover operation to pretend to be a typical idiot Republican voter. It was all just part of a multiple decade act to “troll” us. Yea, sure fooled me.

  47. 47.

    kc

    February 18, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Funny ad. Though I get the impression that guy would not be easy to live with.

  48. 48.

    Avery Greynold

    February 18, 2014 at 9:35 am

    John, I think I see you as some sort of kindred spirit to True Detective’s Rustin Cohle. As in these lines:

    Marty: …stop saying weird shit!
    Rust: Given how long it’s taken for me to reconcile my nature, I can’t figure I’d forgo it on your account.

    Don’t worry about writing nasty things. We don’t just come here to think, but to feel.

    And icefire? Condolences. We did all we could until we did what we had to.

  49. 49.

    Seanly

    February 18, 2014 at 9:55 am

    @divF:

    That’s because Berkeley is too weird. Also, there are a lot of angry old hippies there driving their antique Volvos and Mercedes too fast and glowering at everyone.

  50. 50.

    Singular

    February 18, 2014 at 11:18 am

    @muricafukyea: Oh just fuck off, you whining, troglodyte, axe-grinding fucker. But most of all just boring boring. Really fucking boring.

  51. 51.

    Jane2

    February 18, 2014 at 11:43 am

    @icedfire: Condolences…you did all you could do.

  52. 52.

    russell

    February 18, 2014 at 11:52 am

    sorry, but pet name puns are a non-starter

  53. 53.

    Jebediah, RBG

    February 18, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    @Singular:
    It does get really tiresome, doesn’t it? Same shit, over and over and over…

  54. 54.

    Manyakitty

    February 18, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    @icedfire: So sorry for your loss and hopes for a better year.

  55. 55.

    EriktheRed

    February 18, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    @muricafukyea: Damn, now I gotta throw up again. Thanks, asshole.

  56. 56.

    Jebediah, RBG

    February 18, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    @icedfire:

    Very sorry for your loss. I hope the rest of 2014 goes better for you and yours.

  57. 57.

    divF

    February 18, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    @Seanly:

    Also, there are a lot of angry old hippies there driving their antique Volvos and Mercedes too fast and glowering at everyone.

    Some truth to that, but it is more Priuses these days. My niece (19) and nephew (21) were visiting from the outer ‘burbs on Saturday, and counted more than 130 in the course of a four-mile drive around town.

  58. 58.

    canuckistani

    February 18, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Does he do research on space robots or is he a space robot who is a researcher?

  59. 59.

    Kyle

    February 18, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    @Anne Laurie: The world’s best time-suck: and the place to find the pictures:

  60. 60.

    Kyle

    February 18, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I suck at linking. The world’s best time-suck:

    and the place to find the pictures:

  61. 61.

    Johnny Mohawk

    February 19, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    @canuckistani: Possibly both. Caution: may be a Cylon.

    @sm*t cl*de, @Paul in KY: Kind of an arbitrary distinction to make. Consider that tyrannosaurus rex is more closely related to chickens than to stegosaurus. Pterodactyls are closer still to chickens. All of this hinges on my assumption that chickens are secretly dinosaurs. If you’ve ever interacted with a chicken, you’ll understand.

    @Tyro, @kc: I’m high maintenance when it comes to finding a place. I’m pretty chill when it comes to actually living in it. But this is why I included a promise of references. Thanks for the feedback, though; I’ll try to make the ad a little lower-maintenance next time.

    And thanks, John Cole, for sharing my ad. =D

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