Tell me this is not one of the greatest craigslist ads you have ever seen looking for a roommate, because I think it is. It is not remotely surprising that he is from Austin.
Also, I fully agree with pterodactyl-free zones. That just seems like a no-brainer for me, and I am not even a space robot researcher.
Thank you, Austin, for keeping it weird and exporting your human samples to strange and mysterious regions.
*** Update ***
I would seriously pay 50 bucks for a new episode of True Detective or a hockey puck sized valium, because I just want to fall asleep but can not because I slept so much last night and today, and I just feel like all I am doing is writing nasty things and then deleting them because I am cranky and feel like shit then realize how caustic the bullshit I am spewing is to people. Every now and then I remember that you commenters are people and I regret what I have said. I hate this shit. I want this cold to end.