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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread

Open Thread

by John Cole|  February 18, 20147:42 pm| 135 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I don’t know how other people deal with these sorts of things, mainly because I don’t like talking about it, but I just noticed that today is the 18th of February, and for the first time since Tunch was killed I didn’t freak out on the 13th (the day in July he was killed). I thought about it for a while, and went out and looked at his grave, and just basically decided that we had a good run and it was tragic, but you have to let things go, and while I will never forget him, it’s just time to let go. Plus, it makes it easier to think that Tunch gave his life so Steve could have a new one that he deserved, because a cat this awesome does not deserve to be in a shelter or euthanized.

Somewhat related, liberals like cats more than conservatives, which makes sense to me, because liberals seem to handle things they can’t control better.

And seriously, no dickish comments about the dog who killed Tunch. I have made my peace.

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Reader Interactions

135Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    February 18, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    I like almost everything more than conservatives.

  2. 2.

    Pogonip

    February 18, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Glad you made up with your sister.

  3. 3.

    RoonieRoo

    February 18, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Can I make a dickish comment about you overfeeding Steve and changing him from a beautiful svelte cat to an obese cat? I’m not going to stop Cole until you take a step back and look at how you are affecting his health. I don’t give a damn if I piss you or anyone else off about this either. Every thread about the animals I will be ranting.

    You love these animals, I know how much. But you are being unbelievably irresponsible in how you are caring for them and their health.

    Look at the pictures you have of him from when you got him. Now look at the recent pictures. Think about everything you learned this past week taking care of your friend and then apply that same love to examine how you are feeding Steve and what you are doing to his longevity and health.

  4. 4.

    seefleur

    February 18, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Lurker, de-lurking to say that you are a mensch and Tunch lives on for everyone who ever read your writings about him (and bore with your less-than-stellar photography skills at the time). The circle of life continues, and you are a rider of this circle. Steve and the canine piglets are riders as well, although I don’t think “passengers” in your vehicle of life quite fits. It’s more that our furry family members are co-pilots whose main job is to help keep us centered. Namaste!

  5. 5.

    RobertDSC-iPhone 4

    February 18, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Team Tunch for life. May his surly paw guide us in everything we do.

  6. 6.

    Garbo

    February 18, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Glad you are feeling more peaceful about Tunch. Steve is a worthy successor.

  7. 7.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 18, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    I think the Steve has done a good job of getting your mind off of He-Who-Is-With-Ceiling-Cat.

  8. 8.

    khead

    February 18, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    Very sorry (again) for your loss John.

    RoonieRoo, please shut up.

  9. 9.

    beltane

    February 18, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Cats and authoritarians aren’t a good fit. Besides, I’ve never met a conservative who was smarter than the average cat.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    February 18, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    @RoonieRoo:

    Nice paRoody!

    As If anybody could see where the fur ends and Steeeeve starts. As if.

  11. 11.

    Poopyman

    February 18, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    Since it’s an open thread: Mr. Cole, did Chevron offer YOU pizza?

  12. 12.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 18, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    @beltane:

    My cat, for example, knew that Rmoney was toast during the RNC.

  13. 13.

    goblue72

    February 18, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    @RoonieRoo: And the Magic Number is TWO. That being the number of posts before some unbelievably self-centered a-hole decided to piss all over Cole’s cornflakes.

  14. 14.

    lamh36

    February 18, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Um…ewww!

    This Is Not a Drill: Hot Pockets Yanked From Shelves for Containing ‘Diseased and Unsound Animals’

  15. 15.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    I’m reposting this cat video, it’s funny as shit.

  16. 16.

    goblue72

    February 18, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    You pour a little Colt 45 or Thunderbird on his grave? Cuz you know he’s pimping in Heaven with a whole mess of puss.

  17. 17.

    Baud

    February 18, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    @raven:

    I saw that on the Today Show.

  18. 18.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    @Baud: Ah, someone posted it on FB and I just grabbed it.

  19. 19.

    John Cole

    February 18, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    @RoonieRoo: Email me. Please help me.

  20. 20.

    Jebediah, RBG

    February 18, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    I have made my peace.

    That’s no small thing. Congratulations and good for you.

  21. 21.

    ranchandsyrup

    February 18, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    My daughter still has the posterboard with Tunch’s pic on it that I used at a meetup like a year ago. She won’t let us get rid of the “kitty pic” because “he’s pretty”.

  22. 22.

    rammalamadingdong

    February 18, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    I received by Balloon Juice calendar last week, and the cover shook me more than I expected.. I’ve seen a lot of pictures of Tunch, but actually holding something that close, seeing his features, made me relive things a bit. I don’t think I can use it as a calendar. My Bruno and Hillary are in March, Chantal is May, and Deuce who died in September is in July. Always in the heart.

  23. 23.

    Randy P

    February 18, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    I tolerate cats, who think (mistakenly) that by virtue of marriage I am a Cat Person. In contrast, my wife can get any cat in the world to respond to her call and come to her. I’m pretty sure she’s some sort of magical being, since cats don’t respond to being called by mortals.

    But in my deepest soul I am a Dog Person. Dogs and I connect on an instinctual level that never happens with cats. Can I still keep my liberal card?

  24. 24.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    February 18, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    Isn’t that what we do though? We pour our hearts and minds into an animal and suddenly they are gone. My darling Lari was killed by a pit bull much as Tunch was, the pain has never gone away but right now I am enjoying the company of Harry Potter, his sister Tigger and the various other cats that inhabit my household. While I will never forget Judy and Cueball, I am now living with the madness that is Flossie and Skeeter . The Dog Paradox that someone posted earlier is so on point. We pour our hearts and souls into our pets and yet we know that we will outlive them. Why us human beings do this to ourselves is a mystery.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    You had me up until

    Plus, it makes it easier to think that Tunch gave his life so Steve could have a new one that he deserved

    Attributing some sort of direct spiritual causation (directed to impact an individual, no less) is just low-grade magical thinking.

    No offense truly intended, but c’mon. Reality is a lot of fun once one embraces it.

  26. 26.

    trollhattan

    February 18, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    Missouri is determined Kansas shall not receive all the legislative idiocy attention today. That just won’t do.

    In a demonstration of the power of the NRA, Missouri Senate Republicans stripped out a Democratic amendment to a gun bill that they had approved last week.

    The amendment required gun owners to report a stolen firearm to police within 72 hours after they discover the weapon is missing, a provision that its sponsor said was necessary to crack down on urban crime. The Senate approved the amendment a week ago and gave preliminary approval to the overall bill, Senate Bill 613 that nullifies federal gun laws, the same evening.

    But the National Rifle Association didn’t like the amendment, and because of it decided to oppose the entire bill.

    http://wonkette.com/542195/nra-missouri-senates-greatest-crime-is-not-loving-guns-enough#0khqeSBlk1YGwkCQ.99

  27. 27.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    February 18, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    Stop loving him with food, John. Feed your cat twice – once in the morning, once in the evening, half a can of wet food each time, same amount of hard food. If he gets hungry between meals, he can hunt like God made him to. But he won’t. Cats are generally lazy and only hunt when it doesn’t require much effort or they haven’t eaten in a few days.

  28. 28.

    aimai

    February 18, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    The longer I live the more important I find “learning to let go” and to make peace. I was reading a science fiction book which had some immortal characters and the author tried, but couldn’t quite, explore what memory and memory loss would be like for characters who were routinely living a few thousand years–interacting with other characters whose lives, though theoretically immortal, were just a few decades or centuries. One thing it really made me think, now that I’ve reached my half century, is that given our long lifespans–80 years is a pretty long time–you really have to make a choice in how and what you hang on to from your memories. If you choose to hang on to the brief, painful moments like the end of a loved one you are going to be hanging some pretty heavy weights on your own neck. If you choose, like a sun dial to “only tell the sunny hours” and just hang on to the best memories you are far better off.

  29. 29.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    @Randy P: Yea fuck that bullshit,

  30. 30.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    @NotMax: I would only say that whatever gets one through the night.

  31. 31.

    beltane

    February 18, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: My cat was briefly intrigued by Clint Eastwood’s chair but that was about it.

  32. 32.

    Hawes

    February 18, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Had to try and explain to a 12 year old why dogs don’t live longer. Tried the poetic idea that their shorter lives teach us about love and loss. The permanence of love and the impermanence of life.

    That it’s ok to be sad. Because you’ll only never be sad if you never love.

  33. 33.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    February 18, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:

    I disagree. My cats have dry food 24/7 with a continual feeder. Not one of them is obese. They get wet food about four nights a week. Cats need protein daily in order for their livers to not eat themselves. If you have multiple cats (I have seven) then there is no way to give them rationed portions of food twice a day. The only way to do it is to make sure they have a constant supply of dry food 24/7.

  34. 34.

    Nicole

    February 18, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    My best friend lost one of her two rescue cats to some kind of illness last year- the vets couldn’t figure it out; the poor thing just wasted away over a few months. But in her brief life, she was much loved and cared for. We just don’t know how long we’ll have our pets; we can only take the best care we can of them while they’re here. Tunch was lucky to have you, and Steve is lucky to have you.

    Re: feeding- I have the opposite problem with our dog- I can’t get her to gain weight. She’s not the very skinny cur she was when we got her, but she hit a (still pretty thin) plateau and stopped. She’ll gladly eat more, but all it does is up her poop output; she just doesn’t gain any more weight.

    I hate that I envy my dog.

  35. 35.

    PhoenixRising

    February 18, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    As I mentioned at the time, we got a kitten at holiday time. For the child. Who, come to find out, doesn’t like emptying a litter box. (The old cat, the only cat she’d ever known, was feral before we got her & wouldn’t use one; Bodie’s position was, ‘Dammit, this IS a litter box!’ re the outdoors in high desert, and she came in at coyote-o-clock. So she was purr-fect…all the cat, none of the poo.)

    I’m attempting to toilet train the kitten, who is quite curious about water in general and agile enough to get out of the potty when he falls in (ask me how I know…trail of liquid that made me grateful for the steam cleaner). Reports will be forthcoming; so far, he’s gotten comfortable eliminating in the ring of litter inside the bowl, and last night aimed through the hole, then went head-down to see what had caused the tinkle sound. As soon as I have video of the kitty flushing and washing his hands (he also turns on the water at the sink when he wants a fresh drink) I’ll post it.

  36. 36.

    trollhattan

    February 18, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @Randy P:

    Love dogs. Never had one as a kid, nor as an adult until I was housified. Now I wonder why I waited so long.

  37. 37.

    Howard Beale IV

    February 18, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Same here. I’ve always had my cats free feed dry (Originally Iams, now Blue Buffalo) and none of ’em have ever been obese.

  38. 38.

    Pogonip

    February 18, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @lamh36: Pretty much all American meat comes from diseased and unsound animals these days.

  39. 39.

    kindness

    February 18, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Good for you John. I carry my now gone critters with me. They are in my memories. I’ll still think about one or another (usually the most recently gone) and speak out to them trying to throw that mental energy out there hoping what ever level they occupy now, they may get a taste of it and strike that harmonic note Pete Townsend was always talking about. Nowdays I smile when I think to ’em. But when one was fresh, I cried. Went against how I was raised to be silent and strong but it was the right thing to do for me.

    I mean, Tunch may be hanging around with Jerry Garcia jamming with Jimi Hendrix out there somewhere right now, and rockin’ it.

  40. 40.

    gogol's wife

    February 18, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    @John Cole:

    Does your veterinarian think Steve is obese? No one can tell that by looking at a picture on the internet.

  41. 41.

    Percysowner

    February 18, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Kansas is at it again They have passed a bill allowing parents and TEACHERS to hit kids hard enough to leave bruises because, you know, kids need to be disciplined like we were and a few bruises don’t hurt no one. My daughter is all grown up and I never hit her, but if a teacher had hit her and left bruises, there would have been hell to pay. If I couldn’t get that teacher arrested, I would be very tempted to try some good old fashioned discipline on them. I wouldn’t do it because I don’t believe in violence, but I sure would want to.

  42. 42.

    Pogonip

    February 18, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    @gogol’s wife: Yes, I for one can’t tell whether it’s fat or fur. Ask the vet.

    Now the dogs could probably benefit from a diet.

  43. 43.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    @raven

    Respect that outlook, yet disagree.

    Would argue that the innate hypocrisy of ‘religion is for dummies unless a religiously based concept applies to me’ may offer a level of comfort, but that it is hollow at the core, swaddles full acceptance and delays the healing process.

    But shan’t press the point. May be just me.

  44. 44.

    Howard Beale IV

    February 18, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    @Percysowner: If it’s gotten to the point where we have to instrument our children to protect them, we’re fucked.

  45. 45.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    @Percysowner: Uh, there was an entire thread about this an hour ago.

  46. 46.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    @NotMax: You’re my horse if you never win a race. . .dawg.

  47. 47.

    TaMara (BHF)

    February 18, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    @NotMax: Again, I am reminded that some of the most intolerant people on BJ are those who declare themselves atheist.

  48. 48.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    @Randy P:
    It really depends on the cat and how much it trusts people. I’ve been approached for skritches by cats I never met before. I once saw a cat tell another cat, “My human! I saw him first!” Sometimes when I try to get a cat’s attention, it just looks at me suspiciously and keeps going. Sometimes it will deign to make my acquaintance, as long as I’m not over-eager myself.

    My cat Bianca, whom I’ve mentioned here before, was a stray kitten who made her own decision to follow me home nine years ago.

  49. 49.

    TaMara (BHF)

    February 18, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    I think about Tunch a lot. But the hardest thing about your friend and the diabetes thread is how it was a very vivid reminder that for 6 weeks and 3 mis-diagnosis, I ended up basically torturing my beloved Harley with blood test and insulin shots, not to mention practically force feeding him and having his blood sugar drop so low he’d just collapse.

    I can’t forgive myself that. And I sure as hell can’t forgive the vet, who stood outside the exam room telling the vet tech he didn’t want to see me again, have the other vet do it. Then basically come in, get blood from Harley and call me the next day and say if I cared about him I’d bring him in to be euthanize immediately.

    So, I’m far from being able to move on…even though I got the sweetest little boy in Z-Man, it’s going to take me some more time. But I believe I’ll get to where you are in a few months, too. We know we only borrow them for a short time and then they move on. You either have to make piece with that, or probably shouldn’t have a lot of pets.

  50. 50.

    WereBear

    February 18, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    The pain fades. The happiness stays.

    Here’s my tips for:

    Making Friends with a Friend’s Cat

  51. 51.

    aimai

    February 18, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    @NotMax: Its pretty rude, generally speaking, to get up at a memorial and announce to everyone that the deceased’s life and death didn’t matter in the way the mourners prefer to remember it. You are embarrassing the rest of us atheists, actually, by behaving in such a hostile and childish manner.

  52. 52.

    jenn

    February 18, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    @John Cole: OK, I can’t be the only one who read this and laughed like a crazy person!

  53. 53.

    gogol's wife

    February 18, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    @jenn:

    Unfortunately, I’m afraid he was serious, and he’s now going to do some kind of austerity diet on Steve. I’m hoping he continues to take the advice of his veterinarian, not somebody on the internet with an axe to grind.

    Steve looks completely happy and healthy, and we know he’s active and able to get around his cat tree. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

  54. 54.

    Comrade Mary

    February 18, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Tunch was one in a million. Tunch was awesome. I still miss him.

    I have no idea if Steve is really gaining weight or not. But John, if he is, this looks like a workable approach to get a chunky cat slimmed down. This woman did it twice — she actually went out looking for a big, fat male cat from the shelter the second time around, and succeeded with him, too. (She’s also pretty good at turning people into maggots — err, runners, too.)

    This approach can be a challenge for multiple cat households, but Steve is ruling solo, so it should be relatively straightforward, unless he really does have opposable thumbs.

  55. 55.

    Ted and Hellen

    February 18, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Cool. Good to know.

    So if your sister brings another killer dog over who mutilates Steve, that will also have been a spiritually necessary incident, and you can just start looking for cat number three.

    Whatever happened to that killer dog, again? Oh that’s right, for some weird reason you won’t say.

  56. 56.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    @TaMara

    That word you use, it does not mean what you think it does&38230;

    What, in any way, shape or form, was intolerant about expressing the opinion?

    No strictures or precepts were laid down about not doing what was done, nor about how to deal with it, merely a viewpoint that one person might find it lacking and looks askance at the philosophy, along with the implication that it doesn’t work for me.

    (Also too, for the record, have never labeled myself atheist here.)

  57. 57.

    Keith G

    February 18, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    One of the good things about growing up on a farm is that one tends to quickly recognize that there are non-negotiable limits to the lives of the animals that surround us. Death is not only common, often it is called for.

    It doesn’t make the death of a loved non-human companion easy, but one comes to understand that dwelling on it comes to no good.

    What are some of the bad things about growing up on a farm, you ask.

    Shoveling horse shit is right up there….and dealing with sheep. I hated having to deal with live sheep. Miserable little creatures.

  58. 58.

    WaterGirl

    February 18, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    @TaMara (BHF): Oh TaMara, I am enraged at your vet and heartbroken at hearing what you both went through.

    When my kitty soulmate quiver died 3 years ago, there was a horror to that last day that I couldn’t shake. I failed quiver on that final day when he was in a panic after getting the first shot from the vet, and everything I did to try to make it better only seemed to make it worse. I failed him when he needed me the most. I was inconsolable, and I was afraid I would never be able to get over it.

    It took awhile, but finally… I realized that quiver knew how much I loved him (he adored me right back) and that he would have forgiven me anything. Only then was I finally able to forgive myself.

    I know you’ll get there, too.

  59. 59.

    Mike E

    February 18, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    I feel ya on “the day”…my mom died right around my 24th birthday: Major pulminary event during a routine procedure two days before; and, finally succumbed after we took her off support, 3 days after my day. After lo these many years, it finally dawned on me that my missing her far outweighs any dread caused by a number or coincidence, and quite frankly I would feel honored now if she had left the building on my birthday.

    What can I say, I was a young’ern…I grew up and have forgiven myself.

  60. 60.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 18, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    We got more snow, this afternoon. Tunch, tell Ceiling Cat to make it stop

  61. 61.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    @aimai

    At the memorial, yes. That would be beyond gauche.

    That is long over.

    Try and catch up.

  62. 62.

    TaMara (BHF)

    February 18, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    @NotMax: The fact you think that anything in that comment you made was appropriate conversation really says all that needs to be said. as @aimai said, it was rude and thoughtless. But fine have it your way, you’re not an atheist, just a rude SOB.

  63. 63.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    @Ted and Hellen:
    Speaking of dickish comments …

  64. 64.

    Cassidy

    February 18, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    @aimai: Maybe you’re embarrassed, but please don’t try to speak for all of us.

  65. 65.

    Ted and Hellen

    February 18, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Please explain what is dickish about it. Show your work.

  66. 66.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    @Ted and Hellen:
    See the last sentence of the post.

  67. 67.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    @TaMara

    Pot, kettle.

    Yup, shall make a note to never quibble with one your recipes. Nor take to task anything else in any front page post, ever. Especially any expletive-laden rants.

    Because that would be intolerant.

    Sheesh.

  68. 68.

    WaterGirl

    February 18, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    TaMara, some comments are best ignored. I nominate the one just above this one for that category.

  69. 69.

    Keith G

    February 18, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    @aimai:

    Its pretty rude, generally speaking, to get up at a memorial and announce to everyone that the deceased’s life and death didn’t matter in the way the mourners prefer to remember it. You are embarrassing the rest of us atheists, actually, by behaving in such a hostile and childish manner.

    I would say you are 100% were this a memorial.

    A night or two ago, JC chastised others (as did AL) for acting as blog monitors. NotMax seemed to offering a view relevant to the topics of the thread. I wouldn’t have typed that, but I value the latitude established by Cole to have a range of views brought forward and discussed.

  70. 70.

    RSA

    February 18, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    @Hawes:

    Had to try and explain to a 12 year old why dogs don’t live longer. Tried the poetic idea that their shorter lives teach us about love and loss. The permanence of love and the impermanence of life.

    The The Tenth Good Thing About Barney is a great book for this kind of situation, if you haven’t come across it.

  71. 71.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 18, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    @Amir Khalid: You should share her picture with us, sometime.

  72. 72.

    Ted and Hellen

    February 18, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    What became of the Pit Bull piece of shit that killed Tunch?

  73. 73.

    schrodinger's cat

    February 18, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    My favoritest Tunch post.

  74. 74.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    Alas, I’m even less of a natural with a camera than John Cole.

  75. 75.

    PurpleGirl

    February 18, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    The pet owning friends in Peekskill had two parrots — a macaw and a small green parrot. At one point my friends decided to write up wills. They had to provide plans for rehoming the parrots — parrots can live a very long time, can outlive their owners. As it turned out, a few years after the parrots moved to Florida with my friends, the parrots caught a virus of some sort and both died in turn. It was sad. The little green parrot had finally decided to like me and sit on my shoulder.

  76. 76.

    khead

    February 18, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    I’m as hard as the next asshole cat lover here at BJ, but I’m still amazed at the number of douche canoes in this thread.

  77. 77.

    Hill Dweller

    February 18, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Why does someone as smart as Rachel Maddow think Andrea Mitchell is competent?

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 18, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    I don’t know how other people deal with these sorts of things,

    I think about my old dog on the good anniversaries, July 24 (birthday) and December 15 (day we got him). Happier memories that way.

  79. 79.

    raven

    February 18, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    @Ted and Hellen: Crawl back under your rock you vile asshole.

  80. 80.

    John Cole

    February 18, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    A.) I didn’t think that NotMax’s comment was that bothersome, because the logical part of me knows he is absolutely correct. It’s mystical bullshit that is no more likely true than if I tried real hard, I could shoot firebolts or frostbolts out of my hands. But it does make things easier for me, so I engage in a little mystical thinking.

    B.) I appreciate many of you sticking up for me, but it is not needed, although I generally agree that there is no real reason to shit on someone’s method of grieving. If and when I die, if no organs can be harvested and after science is done dissecting me, if my remaining friends and family want to have a funeral, or grieve in their own way, they can do whatever they want. I’m an atheist and pretty convinced that when I die that is the end, but funerals and grieving aren’t for the dead, they are for the living. So if they want to have a big old funeral, I honestly could not give a shit. As long as they come to their peace in their own way. I’d prefer a big fucking party where everyone’s keys are taken and no one is allowed out with a BAC under .10, but what the fuck does it matter? I am dead.

    C.) Part of my belief that people should be able to say whatever they want, hence the latitude, is that I really mean it. Let people say what they want, let people respond, and really, very little should be out of bounds. Plus, is it not clear by now that whenever an asshole says something assholish, not only does it reflect poorly on them, but everyone else gets to point and look and think to themselves “What a fucking asshole?”

    So that is where I is.

  81. 81.

    Ted and Hellen

    February 18, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Why is it a big secret what became of the Tunch killer dog?

    Why is asking logical questions on a blog which asks uncomfortable questions all the time, suddenly improper?

    Why is this blog run by douche bags now?

  82. 82.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    @John Cole

    Your tolerance is both commendable and appreciated.

  83. 83.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    @Ted and Hellen:
    From the comment immediately before yours:

    Plus, is it not clear by now that whenever an asshole says something assholish, not only does it reflect poorly on them, but everyone else gets to point and look and think to themselves “What a fucking asshole?”

  84. 84.

    beth

    February 18, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    Just found out today that the tumor they removed from my dog last week is not cancerous, just a really big cyst. I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath for seven days. Someone’s getting a few extra treats and love tonight. It’s amazing how they worm their way into our hearts.

  85. 85.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    @Ted & Hellen

    It’s no secret at all, as it was the subject of a post (or perhaps several) some time back.

  86. 86.

    ruemara

    February 18, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    I know what you mean, John. It’s hard not to come home and have some eager faces sitting by the door to greet me. You know that moment, where if they aren’t there to greet you, they’re having a nice nap in a cozy area, which you walk by and they stir, do that mega-cat stretch where they have the daintiest point to their toes, yawn and roll, exposing their extra warm and soft tummy fur? It’s a perfect welcome home. I miss it. I’m glad I got to have it, but I miss it like I miss the warmth of the sun.

    People, are you really going to let the sociopathic amoungst us corrupt a perfectly nice open thread? There really needs to be a rumble perma-thread.

  87. 87.

    Ted and Hellen

    February 18, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    @NotMax:

    Oh, I’m sorry. I did not see that post. So what became of the dog?

  88. 88.

    jnfr

    February 18, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Love you, John. And love Tunch, and Steve, and even the dogs. You give them all the love, and that’s what matters.

  89. 89.

    NotMax

    February 18, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    @Ted & Hellen

    Don’t have a link at the ol’ fingertips (and frankly do not want to trust to failing memory for details), but a little archive surfing or focused googling should point to that.

  90. 90.

    gogol's wife

    February 18, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    @John Cole:

    Wiley Cash got a nice notice in the Sunday New York Times Book Review (scroll down):

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/16/books/review/love-story-with-murders-by-harry-bingham-and-more.html

  91. 91.

    Amir Khalid

    February 18, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    @NotMax:
    @Ted and Hellen:
    T&H doesn’t actually want to know what happened to the dog. Do you, Timmeh?

  92. 92.

    sm*t cl*de

    February 18, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    Pretty much all American meat comes from diseased and unsound animals these days.

    You would not believe the health warnings they have to print on Soylent Green.

  93. 93.

    Violet

    February 18, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Glad you got to a place of peace, John. That’s of huge benefit to you. Tunch was one of a kind, but I’m glad Steve found you.

  94. 94.

    Pogonip

    February 18, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    @NotMax: I didn’t see it either. What did become of the dog?

  95. 95.

    different-church-lady

    February 18, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    @Ted and Hellen:

    Why is this blog run by douche bags now?

    Because they wanted you to feel comfortable among your kind.

  96. 96.

    different-church-lady

    February 18, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    T&H doesn’t actually want to know what happened to the dog. Do you, Timmeh?

    They’re not exactly here for the hunting, are they?

  97. 97.

    different-church-lady

    February 18, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Hey, so Cole — been meaning to thank you for being my introduction to OK Go all those years back. I was just showing a friend the shelter dog video for “White Knuckles”.

  98. 98.

    chauncey1186

    February 19, 2014 at 12:08 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:

    I once asked the director of one our animal welfare agencies why my otherwise awesome cat seemed so damned lazy and bored. She replied that I probably overfed him. She said that most people overfeed their animals and therefore they suppress their natural instinct to hunt which messed up many of their innate behaviors. Hungry cats are excellent mousers, overfed cats are not. It made sense since my previously awesome cat would literally sit there and watch a bug/bird/rodent cross his path, yawn and ignore the transgression. While it made my own life easier, it was totally against his nature. So…..I cut his food down and it made a world of difference in his attitude. He’s still “my cat” but he’s more himself than he was when I was pampering him.

  99. 99.

    Mary Brown

    February 19, 2014 at 12:27 am

    @seefleur: I like the way you think.

  100. 100.

    Jebediah, RBG

    February 19, 2014 at 12:27 am

    @beth:
    fantastic news!

  101. 101.

    Suzanne

    February 19, 2014 at 12:32 am

    John, I’m glad you’ve found some peace. The thing is….when it’s your pet and you love them like we all do, no matter how and when they go, it is too soon and it always makes me angry. It’s never okay, even when it’s right thing to do. I hope Steve brings you many smiles and, to paraphrase Joey B, thinking of Tunch brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.

  102. 102.

    Mary Brown

    February 19, 2014 at 12:37 am

    @Nicole: I envy your dog too.

  103. 103.

    Mary Brown

    February 19, 2014 at 12:38 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: That was a good one. Thanks for bringing that one back.

  104. 104.

    BubbaDave

    February 19, 2014 at 1:55 am

    Re:obesity — don’t take some dude on the Internet’s word for it, ask your vet. That said, housecats in America have ridiculously high rates of obesity and diabetes, and that’s on us and the kibble we feed them. (Look at your bag of consumer cat food. What’s the number one ingredient? Corn? Rice? Not exactly the chow your cat evolved to process….) A diet that’s higher in protein and fats/low in carbs is in most circumstances the best thing for your cat’s health. (Renal failure, various forms of GI problems, and so on change that recommendation.)
    My senior (16-ish) cat was on insulin twice a day; by switching her to a prescription low-carb food we were able to ditch the shots. (Now she’s suffering from renal failure, which seems to be the fate of many cats who make it into their late teens. But she’s still the sweetest cat ever, and she enjoys her life, and so I do what I can while I can knowing that all good cats must eventually come to an end.) My junior cat came on board when Razzle was already on the anti-diabetes diet, and she’s the only cat I’ve owned who’s never been obese; she’s 7 now and still as playful and energetic as she was when she was a kitten.

    TL;DR — diet matters, a lot, and you should check with your vet to make sure you’re feeding Steve in a manner that keeps him around for the long haul.

  105. 105.

    Goblue72

    February 19, 2014 at 2:37 am

    @NotMax: Try to not be such a massive douche.

  106. 106.

    Goblue72

    February 19, 2014 at 2:41 am

    @khead: Agreed. I’m counting at least three.

    Dude finally sees the horrible tragedy mercifully fading in the distance and some folks just gotta piss all over it. I swear, at times, the Internet is a clubhouse for Asperger’s types.

  107. 107.

    Goblue72

    February 19, 2014 at 2:47 am

    @Ted and Hellen: You’re one of them Special Ed types ain’t ya?

  108. 108.

    billgerat

    February 19, 2014 at 4:04 am

    It’s good that you didn’t get all worked up over the anniversary of Tunch’s passing. It doesn’t mean you loved him less for it, just that part of you have found some sort of acceptance of the situation.

    Yesterday (the 18th, as it is now the 19th as I write this) was the 2nd anniversary of my stepdaughter dying from diabetes. She was only 25 years old, and was living with her 3 year old son when she died in her apartment watching TV late at night. She wasn’t found by her family until 2 days after passing. Luckily her son was talked into unlocking the door by her sister who found her. I didn’t freak out about the anniversary, but I spent yesterday with a giant hole in my heart missing the hell out of her. I don’t know if I can ever accept that it happened.

  109. 109.

    Aimai

    February 19, 2014 at 7:57 am

    @Keith G: a post on the one year anniiversary of a death is straight up , classically, a memorial–which for many people is separate from the funeral btw. Dont be dense or as childish as notmax. A thread isnt a free for all.

  110. 110.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 9:07 am

    @John Cole: How about a legitimate comment/question? Do you have an emergency evacuation plan in place? I also throw this question out to the other cat experts in the room.

    I had a small fire almost two years ago (no loss other than my beloved Kitchen Aid range) and if things went wrong, we would have been down two cats. I finally began training myself and the cats this weekend, so we’ll see how it goes. After some research, it seems like operant conditioning will work best.

    Here’s what I’m doing:
    I bought a triangle (like from 2nd grade music class).
    I make noise with it before I feed the three coiled springs of death.
    So far, they start out gathered by the food bowl, they see the triangle, and hide under the table (guess they don’t dig the sound yet).
    Then I feed them.

    After they get used to the sound, I will use the triangle at odd times during the day, but always give them some kind of food, whether it’s a meal or a treat. Since this whole thing is designed to save their lives, I want only positive associations.

    Once they reliably gather in response to the triangle, I’ll start adding noises and other distractions, eventually getting close to simulating an emergency-type environment.

    I’m thinking six months or so, and they should be pretty responsive. It’s tricky because a cat’s instinct tells it to hide.

    Comments/criticism/suggestions?

  111. 111.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 9:13 am

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Why not go grain free? Mine three eat twice a day and none of them are starving. In fact, Heisenberg, my big handsome boy, is 16 pounds with a Buddha belly no matter what I do. I even have him jump up and tag the spoon I use for the wet food to draw him away from the dry food so the other two get a shot at it. He gets the first spoon of wet food as his reward for tagging (he’s up to four jumps now before his treat.)

  112. 112.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 9:16 am

    @TaMara (BHF): Atheists in general tend to be an evangelical bunch.

  113. 113.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 9:21 am

    @TaMara (BHF): This is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. All you can do is seek the best care possible, and when that fails, what else is there?

  114. 114.

    WaterGirl

    February 19, 2014 at 10:09 am

    @Manyakitty: I hope Cole makes this a front page thread, especially at a time of day when WereBear might be around.

    When the tree crashed on my house at the end of May last year, the kitties went flying! Sadly, they ran to the back of the house because we were in the front of the house and that’s where they heard the scary sound of what appeared to be the world ending. (even to me)

    I say “sadly”, because the back of the house is where the tree actually hit, and if it had broken the house open at the floor level instead of the ceiling/wall level, the kitties could have gotten out. That’s the scariest part to me of the whole 5 month travail related to the tree.

    After that, when it got windy or stormy, the kitties would run and hide – how am I supposed to find the kitties so we can all get into the bathroom if there is a tornado or windstorm like the one that felled my tree?

    Like I said, I hope Cole makes this a thread at some point before storm season hits. *Although we got thunder and lightning on Monday while it was still snowing like crazy. But don’t worry about that climate change thing…

  115. 115.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 10:13 am

    @WaterGirl: So do you have a plan now? It took me a shamefully long time before I finally got started with mine, and I have no idea if I’m even on the right track.

  116. 116.

    ADS

    February 19, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Maybe liberals love cats more than conservatives, though ailurophilia is my one human connection with some conservatives. My facebook account is 95 percent for cat rescue, and my willingness to friend almost any cat-lover results in some very disconcerting political posts showing up in my news feed.

  117. 117.

    WaterGirl

    February 19, 2014 at 11:00 am

    @Manyakitty: No plan. I have no fucking clue. I thought your triangle idea was interesting. I think that might work for collecting everybody before weather (or whatever) actually hits, but once they hear weather approaching, or smelled smoke, I doubt it would work at all. But what do I know?

    I would love to hear everybody’s ideas on this, especially WereBear’s.

  118. 118.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 11:15 am

    @WaterGirl: Yep, that’s why I plan to introduce distractions (noise, maybe smells, who knows?) after they internalize the response to gather at the triangle. I tried to think of other ways to summon them, but I think it needs to be a unique enough sound that they’ll hear it over the confusion.

    I’m starting to panic again even thinking about the fire, and the awful, awful stuff I read online about some animal aftermath. Trust me when I advise you against searching for it.

  119. 119.

    WaterGirl

    February 19, 2014 at 11:45 am

    @Manyakitty: Maybe write to Betty or Anne Laurie and ask for a thread some evening?

  120. 120.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 11:47 am

    @WaterGirl: Makes sense. If one does not “magically” appear in the next day or so, I’ll send a request.

  121. 121.

    WaterGirl

    February 19, 2014 at 11:52 am

    @Manyakitty: Betty is there with her mom, I know, but she might appreciate the normalcy of a distraction like this. Waiting is hard.

  122. 122.

    chopper

    February 19, 2014 at 11:58 am

    @Aimai:

    It’s been a year already? Dang.

  123. 123.

    WaterGirl

    February 19, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    @chopper: nope. july, i think.

  124. 124.

    slag

    February 19, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: No hard food in meals; just wet–half a can 2x a day. Save the hard food for in-between meal treats, which Steve should either chase around after their thrown or hunt for somehow (maybe a treat ball?).

  125. 125.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    @Hawes: I’d have just said that that’s how their species goes. They usually live longer with us than they would in wild, but they’ve been dying that soon for many, many years.

    I’m evidently not an old softie like you ;-)

  126. 126.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Some cats will self regulate on food & some don’t.

  127. 127.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    @gogol’s wife: Sen/Dr. Frist can!

  128. 128.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    @Ted and Hellen: The pit bull itself was just doing what they do. No particular malice behind it.

    It’s just a stupid dog.

  129. 129.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    @billgerat: Very sorry to hear about your poor daughter. Hope your grandson is doing well.

  130. 130.

    Paul in KY

    February 19, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    @Manyakitty: Sounds like a good idea. You expect them to get the Hell out, but many times they get freaked out & go hide somewhere.

  131. 131.

    billgerat

    February 19, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    @Paul in KY: Being only 5 at the time helped him better than the rest of us. I used to babysit him on the weekends, and when I went to pick him up on Saturday, other people in the apartment complex were asking me about why my stepdaughter wasn’t answering her door. I tried knocking, got no answer, and then on the way home I kept trying to call her. Later I called her sister at work to check on her when she got off. The next morning, while my grandson and I were playing video games together I got the phone call from her sister that she had found her sister dead. She had tried to contact her sister that evening, but just figured that she was asleep, being that she was a heavy sleeper. By Sunday morning she realized something was seriously wrong, and heard her son inside the apartment. She talked him into opening the locks on the door, and that’s how she found my stepdaughter. After the phone call, my grandson told me that he had figured out what the phone call was about. He knew that his aunt had died, but being so young he didn’t really understand the full import of what that meant. He was able to go back to playing the game, while I was stunned beyond belief. Today he is living with his mom in Montana, doing very well. He misses his aunt, but being so young helped him get through the tough time better than us adults.

  132. 132.

    Manyakitty

    February 19, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    @Paul in KY: Thanks. Got no other ideas, so something is better than nothing, right?

  133. 133.

    mclaren

    February 20, 2014 at 12:41 am

    I don’t know how other people deal with these sorts of things, mainly because I don’t like talking about it, but I just noticed that today is the 18th of February, and for the first time since Tunch was killed I didn’t freak out on the 13th (the day in July he was killed). I thought about it for a while, and went out and looked at his grave, and just basically decided that we had a good run and it was tragic, but you have to let things go, and while I will never forget him, it’s just time to let go.

    Pretty much sums up my attitude toward democracy in America.

    We had a good run and it was tragic, but you have to let things go.

  134. 134.

    mclaren

    February 20, 2014 at 1:06 am

    Nobody controls cats; they control you.

    I for one welcome our new feline overlords.

  135. 135.

    Paul in KY

    February 20, 2014 at 10:53 am

    @billgerat: Very glad to hear he is doing well. Sounds like a sharp young boy.

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