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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: Dueling Social Theories at CPAC

Open Thread: Dueling Social Theories at CPAC

by | 140 Comments

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Do not gnaw that conservative’s shaft, gay beaver!

Many more broad, obvious jokes at the link. And that’s just the attendees!

ETA: Joe Cascarelli, at NYMag: “CPAC Is for Lovers, or At Least ‘Discreet’ Casual Encounters“. Best comments there, so far:

“If us gays were better organized we’d send a fleet of hot escorts to CPAC to hook up with these hypochristian conservatives, only to collectively out them all afterwards.”

Reply: Let’s Kickstarter this idea!

***********

Apart from pointing & mocking (“Every night, Pinky!”), what’s on the agenda for the start of the weekend?

Reader Interactions

140Comments

  2. 2.

    Trollhattan

    These “conservatives” as they like to call themselves, are a very strange people. We should study them. Sad that Margaret Mead isn’t available for the task.

  3. 3.

    jl

    @Mnemosyne: But we are talking about a ‘gay beaver’. There is something intriguing about that phrase. I would like to subscribe to the newsletter to see what it’s about. Gay has an older meaning, you might remember.

    Edit: looking at the pic again, I see a gay beaver gnawing away at a shaft of some kind. Yes, I find that intriguing imagery.

    These CPAC people, why not just call it the Ronald Reagan Cargo Cult and Ann Coulter Cheesecak Fest? (RRCCACCF, that is snappy, has a beat, you can dance to it)

  7. 7.

    gnomedad

    Those pastel lightsabers are quite manly.

    People paying to hear people make shit up. The mind reels. I would love to see interviews of attendees asking them what they learned that they didn’t already know. Even new lies.

  8. 8.

    Nick

    As a Canadian, I consider that post to be derogatory, hateful, and cause for invasion.

  9. 9.

    boatboy_srq

    @jl:

    looking at the pic again, I see a gay beaver gnawing away at a shaft of some kine. Yes, I find that intriguing imagery.

    Once again for the social-conservatist (read: wannabe Inquisitor), it Was In The Beginning, Is Now, and Ever Shall Be about (and only about) Teh Secks.

    I haven’t looked through many of the photos yet (I’m kinda partial to keeping my lunch down, thanks), but it seems typical that the one character who’s not a Caucasian and (presumably) Hetero Male is Chewbacca – a nonhuman alien from science fiction? Certainly explains the limitations to GOTea minority outreach, no?

  10. 10.

    MikeJ

    Open thread? Good.

    If I’m working on something for you, I may at some point ask you a question. That is because I need additional information to do what I need to do. You have a much better chance of giving me accurate information if you shut your goddamned pie hole and let me finish a fucking sentence before you try to answer the question you haven’t even heard yet.

    That’s all. For now.

  11. 11.

    Trollhattan

    @Nick:
    Oregon State University will be right there with you in solidarity, and for a bagfull of loonies.

  12. 12.

    StringOnAStick

    Hmm, ‘interesting’ photos; how much to get someone to kick each cardboard cutout in the junk, loudly and aggressively?

    I’m home with a terrific case of bronchitis, trying not to vomit during the coughing fits. And in 2 days we have to board a plane to go to MI to help move my elderly anxiety-ridden FIL and OCD BIL to their new home closer to BIL’s new job. Talk about bad timing….antibiotics & codeine, do your stuff please.

  13. 13.

    Violet

    Oh no! This gay beaver is going to make Ronald Reagan fall down!

    That’s supposed to be Reagan? It looks like an even dumber Dumbya.

  15. 15.

    Turgidson

    ZOMG zombie Reagan is sitting with his legs crossed like a nancy boy! No wonder the Soviets think we’re weak!!!

  16. 16.

    jl

    @boatboy_srq: There is a pic of buffed out muscle dude black guy in camo who arm wrestles CPAC attendees. Not sure what that is about.

    I would like the newsletter on that too.

  18. 18.

    opiejeanne

    Could someone please explain to me what the wingers are fussing about with regard to Obama’s illegal use of Executive Orders? My God, it’s in the local weekly rag this week, which never allows this crapola but the writer squeezed it in because it was marginally about our local rep, Suzan Del Bene.

  19. 19.

    Trollhattan

    @Violet:

    “Foul!” Unpossible to be dumber than Dubya, unless you’re referencing the stool, in which case, carry on.

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    @jl:

    Gay has an older meaning, you might remember.

    So he’s just a really happy beaver?

    Also, fun fact: as far as anyone can tell, the first time “gay” was used in its current sense in an American film was in Bringing Up Baby. Someone finds Cary Grant wearing a woman’s feather-trimmed robe, and after several demands for an explanation, he finally says, “Because I just went gay all of a sudden!”

  21. 21.

    scav

    Are people delivering random comments to empty chairs yet as a sign of proud consistency and skill in oratory? Screaming “Make my Day!” at same also counts. Hard not to wonder with all that worship of graven images going on. Didn’t know you could grave cardboard, but, live and learn.

  22. 22.

    BGinCHI

    Why is that gay beaver trying to shove that stool down Ronnie Reagan’s patriotic, extremely heterosexual throat?

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    OT: Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim has been sentenced to five years jail after being convicted of a new sodomy charge. Sentence is stayed pending appeal. Anwar remains free on RM10,000 (US$3,069) bail.

  26. 26.

    Felonius Monk

    Is there some significance as to why an ad for catheter supplies appears on the front page below this post?

  27. 27.

    jl

    @Violet:

    I was going to complain that all the graphic material shown in the pics was either exhausted and hackneyed stereotype, or ranged from third to fifth rate. But I didn’t want to oppress them with my hipness (or maybe it;s just my 20 20 vision?).

    And remember, as I said in a previous thread, from Cole’s pics and narratives here at BJ, I make Cole look stylent and way hip. But I guess the reactionaries have a very low threat bar.

  30. 30.

    boatboy_srq

    @jl: I think that has to do with EITC and T-bones. And camo beats rainbows when the GOTea plays, where for the rest of us it’s hearts over diamonds.

  31. 31.

    jl

    @Mnemosyne: OK, so I like really happy beavers. You gotta problem with that?

    Edit: I may add that I do have some experience with really happy beavers, which I guess is why Gutfeld hates me. No wildlife lover he. I guess that is too hip also.

  33. 33.

    Roger Moore

    @BGinCHI:

    Why is that gay beaver trying to shove that stool down Ronnie Reagan’s patriotic, extremely heterosexual throat?

    I thought gays were interested in shoving stool in from the other end.

  37. 37.

    opiejeanne

    @BGinCHI: I know he’s done it way less, I just wondered why they seem to think it’s unconstitutional. Is it because he’s unwhite?

  41. 41.

    Frankensteinbeck

    ‘Fiscal’, ‘Defense’, ‘Social’. The code words are fascinating, since they have no interest in fiscal discipline or defense, and ‘social’ is meaninglessly vague. Judging from the policies and arguments they use, ‘fiscal’ means ‘hurting the poor and minorities’, ‘defense’ means ‘offense’, and ‘social’ means ‘bigotry’.

    @jl:

    Ronald Reagan Cargo Cult

    …you have hit gold. True wisdom. Yes, much of modern conservatism is a Ronald Reagan cargo cult. They chant Reagan’s slogans and parade around unrealistic effigies of him because they desperately, desperately want the treasure of nation-wide acceptable bigotry back.

  42. 42.

    boatboy_srq

    @gnomedad: So would Cheney. And Bolton. And McCain. And Graham. Give a Teahadist half a chance and s/he’d drop a bomb on someplace.

  43. 43.

    Gin & Tonic

    This was a few threads down, but not much action there.

    73% of Russians polled are opposed to military intervention in Ukraine. I’ll leave the rest of the math in that as an exercise.

  45. 45.

    jl

    @Roger Moore: When the gay beaver gets done, the stool will collapse and a shaft is like to get rammed up RR’s ass.

    So difficult to decipher all the possible subtexts.

    Anybody know what the story is about black body builder type arm wrestling CPAC attendees?

  47. 47.

    ? Martin

    @opiejeanne:

    Could someone please explain to me what the wingers are fussing about with regard to Obama’s illegal use of Executive Orders?

    Because the GOP plan is whenever someone who doesn’t belong (minority, woman) gets into the WH, to let the country burn as proof that they don’t belong. Obama is undermining that effort by, well, by not letting the country burn.

  52. 52.

    Mandalay

    @Violet: Actually Palin looks like a genius next to this lot….

    Several former leaders of the once-high-flying law firm Dewey & LeBoeuf apparently violated a cardinal rule that lawyers always tell their clients: Don’t put anything incriminating into an email.

    Four men, who were charged by New York prosecutors on Thursday with orchestrating a nearly four-year scheme to manipulate the firm’s books to keep it afloat during the financial crisis, talked openly in emails about “fake income,” “accounting tricks” and their ability to fool the firm’s “clueless auditor,” the prosecutors said…

    One of the men even used the phrase “cooking the books” to describe what they were doing to mislead the firm’s lenders and creditors in setting the stage for a $150 million debt offering that was supposed to solve the firm’s financial woes, according to the messages.

    Our one percenters in action. They should have jumped instead.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=gUYEgAReHaE

  53. 53.

    boatboy_srq

    @BGinCHI: I suddenly understand all the Reichwhinging over “voter fraud”. Imagine giving all Those people one whole vote each! Scandalous. It has to be illegal somehow.

  54. 54.

    boatboy_srq

    @Anne Laurie @top: from the article, in one of the Craigslist ads:

    We can meet at the bar first, if you want. I will be wearing khakis and a navy blue blazer.

    Isn’t that about half the convention?

  56. 56.

    opiejeanne

    @? Martin: Thanks. So it’s nothing new, just new to the local rag. I’m sure they get tons of birther crap all of the time, as well as less subtle stuff. It was surprising that they let it through this time because the most politics they allow is local stuff.

    This is Western Washington, just east of Seattle, so heavily Democratic but we do have a lot ot teabag insanity here. Lots of money on my street and it seems to be an even split. I’m still mapping out who is nice and who is nuts. The most hilarious/stupid campaign was for water board membership and two teabaggers who claimed some ridiculous conspiracy regarding the newish water reclamation plant, claiming that we’d all be forced to hook up to a sewer system (that seems to be a hot button in my neighborhood, but I’d love it). It was a total lie, but some of my neighbors believed it.

  57. 57.

    Anne Laurie

    @boatboy_srq:

    Isn’t that about half the convention?

    And how many ‘hits’ would the right mockumentarian get, sidling from one blue-blazered khaki-clad conventioneer to the next?

  59. 59.

    Suffern ACE

    @Frankensteinbeck: Before they start protesting that corruption, I want to make certain that Malaysia has no territorial disputes with Indonesia, Thailand, Singapore, Brazil, China, Iceland or Burkina Faso who might use the opportunity to lop off a bit of the country.

  60. 60.

    Svensker

    @opiejeanne:

    Could someone please explain to me what the wingers are fussing about with regard to Obama’s illegal use of Executive Orders?

    They’re having a fit about his E.O.s, even though he’s used far fewer than Bush the Lesser. But Obambi is a tyrant, somehow.

  63. 63.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Bex:

    Quite the group. Michelle Bachmann no doubt approves, as these people think that everything started going wrong with the Renaissance.

  65. 65.

    Amir Khalid

    @Suffern ACE:
    Indonesia: A resort island or two off Borneo. Nothing major like back in the Confrontation. Already settled by international arbitration, as I recall.
    Thailand: None.
    Singapore: None. We threw them out of the federation back in 1965 and definitely do not want them back.
    China: The Spratley Islands.
    Brazil, Iceland, Burkina Faso: None come to mind. But if a dispute led to us being invaded by a brigade of Girls From Ipanema, I wouldn’t mind that at all.

  66. 66.

    kindness

    FSM knows our side has it’s loons. But CPAC year in year out out does ComicCon.

    DougJ, you should really ask us to take up a collection to send you to ComicCon instead of CPAC. The costumes are better and the attendees aren’t nearly as cray-cray (we will not discuss who has more Cheetos staining as that might be a tough call).

  67. 67.

    jl

    @Amir Khalid:

    ” But if a dispute led to us being invaded by a brigade of Girls From Ipanema, I wouldn’t mind that at all, ”

    How easily some quislings are suborned!

  69. 69.

    Roger Moore

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The main reason they’re having a fit is because he’s near.

    I don’t know about that. It’s not just the blackness that bothers him; it’s that he’s not a nice, safe, token black who believes the same crap they do and makes them feel good that they aren’t racist. They wouldn’t be having the same kind of fit if it were Herman Cain or Clarence Thomas in the White House. In the same way, they’d pitch a fit (albeit a different fit) for Hillary Clinton but not Sarah Palin, Carl Levin but not Eric Cantor, and Bob Menendez but not Ted Cruz.

  70. 70.

    Jay C

    Via LGF:

    And in the tortured enhanced-interrogated logic files, that good old standby for dependable nuttery, Ollie North:

    Commentator Oliver North, a former Lieutenant Colonel who hosts a War Stories segment on Fox News, made the comments at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

    Referring to the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell two years ago,he said: “The members of our armed forces and their families deserve better than being treated like laboratory rats in some radical social experiment.”

    “The people of Ukraine are this very minute paying the terrible price for America’s leadership deficit disorder.”

    OK: it would be more mock-worthy, though, if the “gays in the military caused the Crimean invasion” canard really wasn’t all that far out of the mainstream of rightwing criticism…

  74. 74.

    Gvg

    Since I believe Annie Laurie said all her posts are open thread may I recommend you all google sing it kitty for a great you tube fun music video. I’d post the link but somehow my ipad won’t let me. pick the you tube not the original uk version because the uk one won’t open for us. cats and rck n roll for the weekend.

  75. 75.

    LanceThruster

    Ronnie Raygun’s pose on the beaver stool does not look very “Butch” (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

  77. 77.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    I want to quit my job so bad I cannot stand it, but thanks to the economy I can’t go even a week without a paycheck so unless I get something lined up to walk right into I am screwed. My boss is bitching at me because we don’t have enough clients, as if it is my fault! The fact is that there are a million lawyers here in our county scrambling for a diminishing amount of clients because court costs and fines have gone up so much that people can’t afford to hire a lawyer. One local attorney has reduced her fee to $35.00 for a traffic ticket, how can you compete with that when your usual fee is $250.00?

    I am going to drink heavily tonight. Basically it is the only way I will be able to sleep.

  80. 80.

    Violet

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: Didn’t you previously say that your skills as a paralegal were in pretty high demand in your area? Or am I misremembering. If so, start looking around. There has to be something better than the crazy boss you’re working for now. I remember you saying you have too much loyalty and that’s why you stay at a job too long. Loyalty is a two way street and your boss isn’t keeping up his side of it very well. Time to be loyal to someone who will.

  85. 85.

    PurpleGirl

    Those pictures are hilarious. The one of the “young” republican in a light-saber duel with Darth Vader is particularly telling. The guy really needs to lose some weight and get rid of the beer belly. It does not make me think he’d be capable of fighting anyone, not least of which Darth Vader or any Jedi knight.

  86. 86.

    Bubblegum Tate

    @Svensker:

    They’re having a fit about his E.O.s, even though he’s used far fewer than Bush the Lesser. But Obambi is a tyrant, somehow.

    Well, I’ve seen the talking point evolve–oh, I’m sorry, I mean “intelligently design”–from “he uses too many of them!” to “they’re illegal!” Not that signing statements are in and of themselves illegal, mind you, just that Obama’s are illegal because mumblemumblemumbleCONSTITOOSHUN!

  89. 89.

    Steeplejack

    Just noticed that Ang Lee’s excellent Eat Drink Man Woman (1994) is starting on TCM. Food and family drama. Good stuff.

    ETA: Hmm, apparently this is going to be a Friday night thing for the next month—foodie movies. Cool. And introduced by Anthony Bourdain.

  91. 91.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    @Violet: @JPL:

    DH and I had a conversation this evening and we have decided that it is time for me to go home. If we can get him a job teaching in England where he can teach music (not just theory) we are gone. I can live in my Mum’s house initially until we get settled. Things will be so much better back there and won’t have to worry about health insurance as I get older (I am hitting 54 next week my DH is 58). I have done my best with this country for 20 odd years, can’t do it any more.

  95. 95.

    shelly

    Just noticed that Ang Lee’s excellent Eat Drink Man Woman (1994) is starting on TCM.

    Oh man, heading to the TV. I know in those dinner scenes, the daughters are daunted and dismayed by all the food the father insists on making, but all I can think is ‘man, I wish I could be at that table!”

  97. 97.

    NotMax

    @Steeplejack

    Yup, each Friday throughout March. Kind of casting a wide net to fill the category, however.

    Including Cool Hand Luke and Night of the Living Dead as “foodie movies” is a bit of a stretch.

    TCM premiere of Big Night is 10 p.m. Eastern on March 28, BTW.

  99. 99.

    Steeplejack

    @shelly:

    Heh. Me, too. And I suddenly realized that I’m jonesin’ for Chinese takeout. It may be time to hit Pause on the DVR.

    Other foodie movies tonight: Mostly Martha (2001) at 10:15 p.m. EDT, Tom Jones (1963) at 12:15 a.m. and Women in Love (1969) at 2:30 a.m.

    Bourdain did say in his intro that some of the foodie references might be tangential or just one memorable scene. Women in Love is the poser for me. I don’t remember any big food-related stuff in it, but it has been a while since I’ve seen it. Lots of lusty appetite in that movie, anyway.

    . . . Ah, figs! All is explained in the TCM article.

  100. 100.

    Steeplejack

    @NotMax, @Suffern ACE:

    Yeah, there are plenty of good foodie movies without reaching for the joke file.

    ETA: Would love to see Tampopo in there, but maybe that’s just my Asian food lust talking.

  101. 101.

    Amir Khalid

    Some sports news from TPM under the headline Senators Asks FIFA To Boot Russia From World Cup (sic).

    My two cents: Asking some national FA to send an unprepared (and un-budgeted for) team to Brazil in Russia’s place in three months time is ridiculous. Yanking the 2018 World Cup from Russia is less so, but picking a new host on short notice will bring out the worst in a nest of corruption like FIFA.

  102. 102.

    NotMax

    @Suffern ACE

    Nope, and also no Tampopo. And not even The Tin Drum.

    I realize they don’t have the rights to show every movie ever made, but still…

  104. 104.

    WaterGirl

    @BGinCHI: I think their constitution only allows him to do 3/5 of the things the others real presidents did.

    Fixed that for you.

    Edit: otherwise, that was perfect! And sadly, perfectly true.

  105. 105.

    WaterGirl

    @Mandalay: I really liked one of the attorneys that was on UP with Steve K. discussing Christie & company several weeks ago. The quote was that he tells his clients that the “e” in email stands for “evidence”.

  106. 106.

    Howard Beale IV

    BREAKING: Malaysian Airlines Boeing 777 flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing lost contact, presumed missing, 239 souls, radar contact lost 2 hours into flight over Vietnam airspace.

  110. 110.

    Cervantes

    Amir, has the missing flight to China been found?

    (Good news would be too much to hope for, I suppose.)

  111. 111.

    PurpleGirl

    @Litlebritdiftrnt: I looked for a YouTube of Tom Paxton singing One Million Lawyers in you honor. There don’t seem to be many YouTubes of Paxton (bummer). I saw him sing One Million Lawyers at a show in the Village. His satire is great.

    I once had a problem with charging a number of hours to a client. I was loaned to another department to do some proofing and cite checking. My diary came back with an order to find a client to charge the 10 hours to. It was, and I kept insisting it was, a firm charge not a client charge. Lawyers can be asses, big time.

    Hope your situation improves sooner rather than later.

  112. 112.

    Mnemosyne

    @Amir Khalid:

    In this context, possibly. (After all, everyone loves Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies.) Though, sadly, I was not super-impressed by the movie version.

    You could do a whole series of cannibal movies, including that one, Eating Raoul, Motel Hell, and a bunch more I’m sure I’m forgetting.

  114. 114.

    Amir Khalid

    A Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777, en route from KL to Beijing, is missing. MH370 is carrying 227 passengers (including two children) and 12 crew, and was supposed to arrive at 06:30. Search and rescue efforts are under way.

  115. 115.

    Mnemosyne

    @Amir Khalid:

    The CNN article reminded me that the aircraft that crashed in San Francisco last summer was also a Boeing 777. Hopefully we’re not seeing a design problem with that specific airplane.

  119. 119.

    Howard Beale IV

    @Amir Khalid: If the plane’s lost, this marks the second fatal accident involving a 777 in the last 12 months, and the fourth hull loss since its introduction.

  121. 121.

    Yatsuno

    @Nick:

    As a Canadian, I consider that post to be derogatory, hateful, and cause for invasion.

    Please start with Washington State. We will greet you as liberators and even change our name to South British Columbia. We even have Boeing and Microsoft to sweeten the deal.

  122. 122.

    Roger Moore

    @Mnemosyne:

    You could do a whole series of cannibal movies, including that one, Eating Raoul, Motel Hell, and a bunch more I’m sure I’m forgetting.

    The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

    ETA: Though I seem to remember that one has plenty of non-cannibalistic food scenes.

  124. 124.

    SRW1

    @Amir Khalid:

    Not-qualified Danmark won the 1992 Euros!!

    a) More seriously: FIFA will go nowhere near considering a ban of Russia for Brazil 2014 unless there’s a hot war between Ukraine and Russia.

    b) Sepp Blatter isn’t gonna do anything about WC 2018 until Brazil 2014 is in the bag. And even then condition a) applies.

  127. 127.

    Steeplejack

    I’ve got to bustle off for appointment TV: The Spider on MHz. I’ve been having problems with the DVR and don’t trust it to get this, and there are no reruns or second chances later in the week. It’s a Danish crime series, produced in the 2000s but set in Denmark in late 1949, about a newspaper reporter observing society and uncovering corruption in the dismal aftermath of World War II. Rationing, black-marketeering, unsettling questions of “What exactly did you do in the war?” Sometimes it hits the noir angle a little hard, but it’s interesting enough to keep on with.

  130. 130.

    Amir Khalid

    A comment in the Yahoo! News story claimed CNN was reporting that MH370 had crashed, but I just checked and CNN have no newer info than anyone else.

  131. 131.

    Amir Khalid

    @Roger Moore:
    “A census-taker once tried to measure me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.” Yes, that movie.

  132. 132.

    Howard Beale IV

    Words Fail:

    A woman was fatally shot in the chest when a gun accidentally discharged while she and another worker sorted through donated clothing in a thrift store in the Brainerd neighborhood on the Far South Side, authorities said.

    Carmen Dominguez, 54, was shot shortly before 10 a.m. at the Unique Thrift store in the 9300 block of South Ashland Avenue, police said.

    The co-worker told police he discovered a sock with something in it and emptied the sock into his hand, according to a police statement. A .22-caliber handgun slipped out of the sock and accidentally discharged in his hand, striking Dominguez in the chest, police said.

    Dominguez was taken to Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where she was pronounced dead at 10:27 a.m., according to police and the Cook County medical examiner’s office.

    “Preliminary indications during the course of the investigation are that this is a tragic, accidental incident,” police said in the statement.

  135. 135.

    opiejeanne

    @efgoldman: I know what you’re saying but maybe he wants to teach more instrumental performance than theory, says the woman with a performance degree. And yes, I did very well in my theory classes.

  137. 137.

    NonyNony

    @kindness:

    FSM knows our side has it’s loons. But CPAC year in year out out does ComicCon.

    At least at ComicCon the attendees know that their obsessions are fictional.

  138. 138.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    One has to be impressed at the willful obliviousness of gay conservatives after all the anvils dropped on them by their fellow travelers.

  139. 139.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @jl:

    Ann Coulter Cheesecak Fest?

    nothing says “not gay” than beating off to a picture of a woman with huge feet, hands, Adams apple and all her secondary sexual characteristics suppressed. Nope, nothing repressed in that.

  140. 140.

    J ed

    @jl:

    I was the white guy at that booth. We were arm wresting just to generate interest and win or lose you get a t shirt from Genopp

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