Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

We still have time to mess this up!

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Stream of Consciousness / I AM A MORON/MORAN

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  1. 1.

    joel hanes

    Hm.

    Isn’t today an equinox, not a solstice ?

    I would think “longest darkest” would be a new moon on the winter solstice.

  3. 3.

    Dave

    I think someone has mixed up equinox and solstice. The vernal and autumnal equinoxes are when the day and night are of equal length, and mark the beginning of Spring and Fall, respectively. The summer and winter solstices mark the beginning of summer and fall, and are the longest day and night, respectively. Not sure where you got the quote, but it seems to be in error.

  6. 6.

    joel hanes

    John, “total morons” aren’t aware that they’re making mistakes.

    “Total assholes” cannot admit they’ve made mistakes.

    You’re decent folk.

  7. 7.

    The Dangerman

    That IS pretty cool (I thought the answer was going to be Donald Trump without his combover, so I was way off).

    ETA: Well, hell, I wasn’t quick enough to get my Fixx, um, fix.

  8. 8.

    Aleta

    I think you can still watch the sky tonight and say that it is something no one has ever seen before.

  9. 9.

    YellowJournalism

    This is how I feel when I trip over my own feet, accidentally retweet myself on Twitter, or butt-dial someone with my phone. “Don’t mind me! Just a dumbass!”

  13. 13.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    And might I add, based on the last one I’m going to pay special attention to Cole’s posts tagged “OLD MAN SHAKES FIST AT CLOUDS” I’m there with ya, buddy.

  14. 14.

    Karmus

    I think, next solstice, and maybe every solstice, Balloon Juice should have an Equinox Party and Get-Together, just to commemorate this event (and to confuse everyone).

  16. 16.

    max

    Now I am wired on coffee for a lunar event that happened several months ago.

    There’s a total lunar eclipse coming up on April 15th.

    max
    [‘So you’re just a month early. Right on the hour though.’]

  17. 17.

    Felonius Monk

    Doesn’t matter, John. According to the wingers, Obama has surrendered the Internet — we are all toast now.

  18. 18.

    Fred Fnord

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a week.

    Quick, could somebody point me toward some funny stuff to read?

  21. 21.

    Amir Khalid

    The website for the TGV cinema chain is down. Now I can’t see what’s playing at my local cineplex. Pout.

  24. 24.

    wrye

    Oh, I saw a link to an article about that event (I’m sure it’s the same thing you’re referring to) a couple days ago and thought, oh, neat! And then, wait a minute…and noticed the date. So this could happen to anyone! But I wonder why it bobbed back up to the surface of the internet just now?

  26. 26.

    Schlemizel

    Just cuz I wanna be pedantic
    John, you USED to be a moran but are not one now. You can be a moron if you so desire but some may disagree with the assessment.
    A moran hangs Lipton bags from their hat, knows that “English is are language” that Obama has not read the cositution that we must keep the government out of our medicare and a small increase in the marginal tax rates of billionaires is socalism.

    Thank you – the society for keeping the language pure

  30. 30.

    big ole hound

    One of the odd facts about equinoxes is that the sun rises exactly due East and sets due West and the day is twelve hours long.

  31. 31.

    J R in WV

    @big ole hound:

    This depends upon where on the earth;’s surface you are, I think.

    JOHN: Noting wrong with making a mistake and admitting it. The problems arise when you find yourself compelled to deny making the mistake. So just hang in there!

  33. 33.

    Joey Giraud

    @J R in WV:

    No, the hound is right on this one. Exactly due-East and West, 12 hours of sunlight, everywhere on earth ( excepting the poles where the sun will float almost exactly on the horizon all around you, a half-light day. )

    if you’re far enough from one of the poles for the sun to dive under or pop up from the horizon, it will do so at the location corresponding to due East or West for that latitude.

    It’s simple geometry

  35. 35.

    delosgatos

    @J R in WV:
    Picture the Earth’s axis lying in a plane that is orthogonal to the line between the centers of the Earth and Sun.

  36. 36.

    Avery Greynold

    A couple nights ago I stepped outside to search for a total lunar eclipse in progress. Thanks John, we are. But now I feel better about it.

  38. 38.

    Lurker

    @Dave:

    If I understand you correctly, today being the first day of spring, night and day should be of equal length, right?

  40. 40.

    Spinoza Is My Co-pilot

    Hey, umm…

    The vernal equinox was yesterday (March 20th). It has been on that date for some time now, going back before my best friend and I got married on that day in ’78 (and we’re still going strong!).

    That’s why we picked March 20th, being young romantic types at the time and looking for something notable and “bigger than us” to mark the date of our wedding since we were (are) non-religious.

    And John Cole — not a moron — remains my favorite blogger, as he’s been since his “road to Damascus” thing in ’05.

  43. 43.

    centerfielddj

    @mclaren:

    Well, no, he shouldn’t do that.

    One day at a time, John. Thanks for doing everything you do for us here. Take it easy, Brother.

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