Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

We still have time to mess this up!

Come on, man.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

You cannot shame the shameless.

The willow is too close to the house.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Let there be snark.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

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Some Things Never Change

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Shawn and I were going through the old photos, and we found this gem:

theloveboat

That’s me and Shawn on the Cunard Princess (or Princess 2, I can’t remember, it was 23 years ago), which during the first Gulf War was docked in Bahrain and used as an R&R destination for soldiers for a while during the conflict. Shawn and I scored a three day pass and were helicoptered there and spent a couple drunken nights and days. When we got there, we had to buy civilian clothing from the ship store because all we had were our BDU’s (and we both felt naked without our LBE and personal weapons- it was like a running joke that we would make the other one drink when someone accidentally reached to check on their firearm- “DRINK MOTHERFUCKER, I SAW THAT!” Fucking sensitive items checks will make you nuts.) and wore the same outfits for three days. We just washed them in the sink every night and then ironed them in our little galley.

We would take a shuttle to this little outdoor pool that had a bar inside the pool, and spent the whole couple of days hanging out with a couple CWO chopper pilots and Navy officer flyboys. It was heaven, even though Bahrain has like 200% humidity.

On the helicopter flight back home, we all puked repeatedly, and when we landed in Kuwait City, Shawn and I had to go to the med tent and get multiple IV’s because we were so dehydrated and it was like 0% humidity in Kuwait.

Good times. I would do anything to be 21 and doing it again. At times it sucked hard, but god damned these were some of the best times of my life. I was just so lucky I was in when I was in, and I didn’t have to go through what guys have been going through since 2003.

And yes, I was drinking scotch.

Reader Interactions

89Comments

  1. 1.

    Little Boots

    sweet.

    I have serious questions to ask, but you don’t like me. can I ask them anyway?

  11. 11.

    Mnemosyne

    What the heck am I in moderation for? Has FYWP decided that hyperlinks are one to a customer again?

  12. 12.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Violet: Now, I will admit that I got very good at ironing while I was in the army, but, almost on principle, I did not iron any civilian clothes ever.

  14. 14.

    Little Boots

    omnes, chime in any time. people actually listen to you, even though I’m always right, and you, well, sometimes.

  15. 15.

    ? Martin

    And now we have Formula 1 races in Bahrain while people protest the Saudi puppet government.

    Shawn’s got a pretty cool friend. I like him.

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Violet: The dude mops while naked. I am not sure that ordinary behavioral rules come into play. OTOH, I guy I knew in OCS ironed his underwear and tucked his t-shirt into his boxers. He was an MP.

    ETA: He was also married to a German woman who he later divorced for sleeping with just about everyone. (Not me though.)

  18. 18.

    ? Martin

    @Violet:

    Guys on a three-day bender in a climate like a sauna and they iron their clothes? That’s odd.

    Depends. Were there any girls around? If so, I’d have ironed my clothes as well.

  21. 21.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @? Martin: If there were, they would have been female soldiers on a weekend pass as well. Ironing wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

  25. 25.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Little Boots: People do have lives outside of this place. They read other things. They talk to other people. Hell, I was reading the Green Bay Press Gazette earlier; the Packers re-signed John Kuhn for another year.

  35. 35.

    ? Martin

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hey, Cole and I are the same age. While he was having that photo taken, I was finishing up college. A friend of mine from Austria hooked up with the hottest girls. At first I blamed his accent, but he told me he always dressed better than everyone else and that I should try it. So I did. And it worked. It worked really, really well, in fact. And that was 1991.

  41. 41.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @? Martin: A few years older than you, but I was running around Europe in my unpressed clothes – it worked for me. I dressed well. I just didn’t iron every-fucking-thing. To be fair, I was and am a fan of Brooks Brothers no iron 100% cotton shirts.

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    FWIW I hate my cold. I can’t sleep because I cough when I lie down. I am croaking rather than talking. And any ride I try to take on my bike is painful because I can’t take a deep breath.

  52. 52.

    Mnemosyne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Do you have a neti pot? If it’s similar to the cold I had this winter, just getting all of the excess crap out of your sinuses will go a long way.

    Though I tried to talk one of my friends at work into using a neti pot for his clogged sinuses, and as soon as I said the words “water up your nose,” he was like, I’m out.

  67. 67.

    muricafukyea

    Hey Cole. I was thinking of heading down there for a visit since I have never been there. How about I just stay at your place for a few months. Oh also I would like to borrow your new Subaru. I tend to drive those things into fields btw but I know that is not a problem with you either.

    See ya soon.

  71. 71.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Anoniminous: I couple years ago, I saw the youngest Marsalis (Jason?)brother sitting in on drums at Preservation Hall. The fascinating thing was that he wasn’t familar with a couple of the songs that the oldsters wanted to play; they talked to him – said “it’s a 6:8 with a knd of hard thing on the cymbals” The dude would go “Something like this?” The old dudes would say “Not quite more bass and lighter on the snare” And then he would just nail it. Talented family, with a shitload of knowledge.

  73. 73.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Steeplejack: I remembered it when my wife told me about the vet appointment today. Also Rev Al did a segment at the end of his show.

  78. 78.

    John PM

    I know what you are saying. I just did a 20-year improv reunion show, then had 3 Macalan’s afterward. I would not wish to be 21 again, but there were definitely some good times. And yes, I am typing this very slowly

  84. 84.

    mai naem

    I figured he was ironing his clothes because he was trying to dry it with the iron. I’ve done that with damp clothes when I’ve been totally desperate and short of time.

  86. 86.

    Cermet

    To be 21 again and in college; those were the days! At least I realized at the time they were some of the very best days of my life in so many ways! Also, how lucky I was not to have to worry about money, then (damn that was sooo fucking nice! I only wish most people had that luxury!)
    Things were finally clicking academically, socially and the world was good, then for the most part! Family and friends and good times just were a daily thing – no worries or real concerns.
    One can never go back but those are what make life good (at least if one has health and enough money both then and now – otherwise it sucks and I realize the importance of having and still those two!) While I nearly lost the former a few years ago and it is a daily fight to maintain it (luckily, my research has found work-a-rounds for all my illnesses – so far!); still, it is nice winning that battle (for now, at least – forget the fucking future; death meets us all sooner or later. So, enjoy today!)
    So today, the sun is out, its spring, some critical projects are moving forward (to hell if they fail; that is the future and who knows? Maybe some will fall into place!) and my daughter is doing well at MIT and I feel well. It is all good!
    I hope some of you out there who are struggling get better news and things start falling into place for you.

  87. 87.

    Cain

    Bah, I’m not sure.. I didn’t really drink a lot in my 20s. Hell I drink more now than I did then. I just don’t get drunk. Secondly, I physically look better now than I did in my 20s. I also looked like I was in my teenage years for a lot of my 20s. Now I;’m in my mid 40s and I look like I’m in my late 30s.

    So I would like to continue being what I am right now. If I think hard, I think I might like to be in my late 30s again. But the 20s ? nah. I’m good.

    also, stop fucking reminiscing and live in the now. Your best years aren’t necessary behind you just because you are in your 40s. I think I’m one year older than you. If you live your life in a shell, dont’ go anywhere, hang out at home and so forth, things are going to feel a little closed in. You and Sean should go out, and adventure. You have some companionship now! (and some dog sluts too)

  89. 89.

    Mnemosyne

    @Cain:

    I’m with you. In college, I was fat, clinically depressed, and barely hung on until graduation. I graduated in the middle of a recession and used my degree for a series of minimum-wage retail jobs. I didn’t really get things straightened out until I was almost 30.

    So, no, I’d really prefer not to go back to the “good ol’ days,” thankyewverymuchly.

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