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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Stream of Consciousness / Late Night Open Thread

Late Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  April 6, 20142:16 am| 70 Comments

This post is in: Stream of Consciousness

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I am the happiest and most content I have been in years, which really make me a shitty blogger. It’s so much easier to rant and rave and be pissed off when you are unhappy. I was a better blogger when I was miserable, I really was. But being happy is more important than pithy blog posts.

I’ve got two super happy dogs, a very content bobcat, a good buddy, and a clear head for what seems like the first time in forever. I mean, it sucks for you, I guess, but it is really good for me. Been thinking (and singing) this song since DougJ linked it the other day.

I’m actually so happy and content right now that I am worried I am going to die soon, because I am German and I can not understand unconditional happiness. Something shitty has to happen to balance things out.

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70Comments

  1. 1.

    Mnemosyne

    April 6, 2014 at 2:27 am

    Just don’t start buying those oversize hats he wears. Nobody but Pharrell looks cool in them.

  2. 2.

    ruemara

    April 6, 2014 at 2:28 am

    Because you’re German? Dude, I’m Jamaican. My life has been one long slog through the most miraculous of shitpiles. I have the slightest good fortune and I wonder if I’m going to A. have a heart attack or B. indirectly cause people around me to die or C. cause the destruction of civilization via meteor. When you’ve lived a lot crap, it makes sense to be scared when it stops coming at you, because whatever’s in charge is probably throwing a herd of rhinos at you, this is the lull before the release.

    Just enjoy it, JC. Enjoy the peace and happiness. You deserve it. Pretend that life is headed in a much better direction and this is your new norm. Maybe, that’s the real truth.

    @Mnemosyne: Edited to reflect: No he don’t.

  3. 3.

    MomSense

    April 6, 2014 at 2:32 am

    Happy for you, John. Hope you can just enjoy.

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 2:33 am

    Your sense of unfocused dread is just an instinctive response to the unfamiliar emotional state of happiness. Something shitty will not necessarily happen to you, but be careful not to subconsciously cause it to happen merely because the suspense is killing you.

  5. 5.

    Suzanne

    April 6, 2014 at 2:36 am

    I am German and I can not understand unconditional happiness.

    You know that has nothing to do with your extraction and has everything to do with your long periods of depression, right?

  6. 6.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 2:36 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    Nobody, but not even Pharrell, looks cool in them.

    For you, I fix.

  7. 7.

    Jewish Steel

    April 6, 2014 at 2:39 am

    Found along my descent deep into a youtube rabbit hole, I find this imbecile strangely zen.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lND51FkLuFU

  8. 8.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 2:46 am

    @Jewish Steel:
    What’s the dollar value of the ammo this fool wasted on his “tribute” to a distinguished military veteran and inventor who would never treat a rifle as a toy?

  9. 9.

    Hal

    April 6, 2014 at 2:48 am

    I’m glad someone is. I feel like I’ve been in a bad mood for weeks now.

    Also, pet peeve of the month. If I say I hate my job, and give perfectly valid reasons, it drives me insane when friends/family say “At least you have a job.” Yes, I know the economy sucks and many people are out of work, and I am grateful to at least have a fucking job, but it still sucks, still isn’t what I want out of life, and still doesn’t pay shit. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate not being homeless, but damn, can’t a brotha vent a little?

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne

    April 6, 2014 at 2:49 am

    @ruemara:

    You’ve seen how I dress. I have no room to judge someone else’s taste in fashion.

  11. 11.

    Jewish Steel

    April 6, 2014 at 2:50 am

    @Amir Khalid: You can’t put a price on…whatever that was supposed to be.

  12. 12.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2014 at 2:51 am

    @Jewish Steel: Among everything else that’s wrong with that video, from all reports Kalashnikov himself died regretting that his invention had been misused by criminals & idiots.

  13. 13.

    Jane2

    April 6, 2014 at 2:52 am

    Enjoy, John.

  14. 14.

    Jewish Steel

    April 6, 2014 at 2:52 am

    @Anne Laurie: QED, yo!

    From the Time article:

    “The Church has a very definite position: when weapons serve to protect the Fatherland, the Church supports both its creators and the soldiers who use it,” Volkov said.

    Funny, I don’t recall anything like that from the New Testament.

  15. 15.

    ulee

    April 6, 2014 at 2:56 am

    Pets will do that for you. I’ve got my sister dogs Cassidy and Joplin and I was just looking at Cassidy all wrapped up in a blanket as she needs it to be and logged on and read this post.

  16. 16.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2014 at 2:56 am

    @Mnemosyne: Look, the ‘Buffalo hat’ might be excused as a tribute to McLaren. “Formal” shorts at the Oscars, however, are unforgivable. No, Mr. Williams, those bare calves are not pretty enough to qualify as ‘deliberate whimsy’.

  17. 17.

    RandomMonster

    April 6, 2014 at 2:58 am

    In the words of Michael Franti, “Everyone deserves music, sweet music.” We all deserve joy, John. Happy that you’re finding yours today.

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 3:00 am

    @Anne Laurie:
    On the other hand, Bermudans do consider their shorts formal enough to wear when you meet the Queen.

  19. 19.

    Julia

    April 6, 2014 at 3:12 am

    That “Happy” song makes me very cheerful indeed. I like his hat, too! John, I am very glad you are feeling good. May it continue…

  20. 20.

    greennotGreen

    April 6, 2014 at 3:13 am

    John, as a person of German heritage, you should also appreciate schadenfreude. So for you to really have happiness, you can’t die soon; you have to be around for Cheney’s, Bush Junior’s, and Rush’s funerals.

  21. 21.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2014 at 3:17 am

    @Amir Khalid: And if Pharrell Williams were Bermudan, or meeting the Queen, I might make an exception.

    On the other hand, one of the Spousal Unit’s friendships suffered a permanent blow when I wouldn’t let the man wear his formal clan-affiliated kilt in the wedding party. Because nobody wanted to see that guy’s knees — imagine a shorter, pudgier John Cole in one of the more garish tartans.

    I’m fine with men in skirts, and women in pants, but one should look in the mirror and take an honest inventory before attempting to pose as fashion-forward.

  22. 22.

    Thymezone

    April 6, 2014 at 3:19 am

    Cheer up. Campaign season is almost here.

  23. 23.

    Debbie(aussie)

    April 6, 2014 at 3:31 am

    So glad you have found this time in your life! Long may it continue.

    I hope to find something similar after surgery in June. The pain gets so bad, I know I would have to leave this world without the promise this surgery may provide.

  24. 24.

    Jordan Rules

    April 6, 2014 at 3:34 am

    Psshhhh. His hat looks fun! Clap along if you feel what happiness is to you! Hey, hey!

    You’ve explained much about my Mom to me John…German-American. She answers the phone and it’s like she’s expecting me to tell her some dour shit. That is soooo not me. She’s working on it though. I love that she’s almost 60 and knows it’s still okay to work on shit cause I will not orient myself towards the gloom when I’m not fighting my synapses.

  25. 25.

    amk

    April 6, 2014 at 3:44 am

    The indian version has much better dancing. Especially the gals.

  26. 26.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 3:46 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    On the other hand, one of the Spousal Unit’s friendships suffered a permanent blow when I wouldn’t let the man wear his formal clan-affiliated kilt in the wedding party.

    I confess to some sympathy for your Spousal Unit’s friend. The dress code specified only that he had to look formal, not that he had to look pretty.

  27. 27.

    ulee

    April 6, 2014 at 3:51 am

    @Debbie(aussie): Good luck on your surgery. Good thoughts for you and yours. My girlfriend had surgery last week. She is OK but she had breast cancer and the fear is always there that it will return.

  28. 28.

    Another Holocene Human

    April 6, 2014 at 3:57 am

    This is for Mnemnosyne, I’m home from work and see you hit it right on the head with the Auld contretemps. Just googling, I found this post which shows how the issue is being framed by the white right wing:

    Now if Douglass- a man who suffered under the trials and unthinkable tribulations of slavery can forgive the one responsible for such sufferings, why can’t blacks today do the same of people who are guilty of far less worse? Douglass’ actions in regard to his former slave owner is a template for a ministry of reconciliation- racial or otherwise.

    In fact, this letter is a followup after Auld’s manumission of some of his slaves one year after the “scathing letter” to which you referred. In other words, as you said, a political activist who was gracious in victory. (Although reading the very first line he’s hardly that gracious: “I propose to celebrate this, the 11th anniversary of my escape from your dominion…”)

    Bullshit piled higher and deeper.

  29. 29.

    Debbie(aussie)

    April 6, 2014 at 4:38 am

    @ulee:
    Thanks Ulee, I am having spinal surgery. Am equal parts excited, equal parts scared/nervous. Have been in severe pain for about 15 years, so something has to give :)

  30. 30.

    Anne Laurie

    April 6, 2014 at 5:01 am

    @Amir Khalid: Actually, ours was a costume wedding — because many of the people we most wanted to see were involved to a greater or lesser extent in the Society for Creative Anachronism and/or (other) LARPing (and also, I look terrible in white). So the invitation (“suprisingly tasteful”, according to a friend-of-a-friend who cared deeply about such things) said “costumes encouraged”. But the Scottish-fixated fella agreed to be in the wedding party, and we paid to have his outfit — loose blue slacks, a simple drawstring shirt, and a vest to match the Dutch-Renaissance jacket my about-to-formalize-his-status Spousal Unit would be wearing — made up, all at a distance. And he kept crabbing about his clan costume, but never made any specific threats… until the day of the wedding itself.

    When he simply didn’t show up.

    Because this is America, and we were grown-ups, and all of our friends & most of our relatives are nerds techies… my bridemaids were coming to Boston from California, Seattle, and Michigan. And the groomsmen were supposed to be coming from Boston, Wisconsin, and Maryland. (No wedding is uncomplicated, and ours was probably more complicated than we should have attempted.) So, the Beltway Boy wouldn’t agree to any of our plans to get him into town before the big day… he kept saying he’d “take care of it himself, thanks”… and then: No dice.

    Cellphones weren’t nearly so omnipresent twenty years ago, so when we couldn’t reach him at his home (his parents’) number, we worried that he’d been in an accident somewhere between Reagan National and Logan Airport. It wasn’t until very late that night, after the whole event, that we came home to a message on our answering machine, saying briefly that he’d missed his flight, and decided “it wasn’t worth bothering” to show up late (there were many later flights he might have taken, and he didn’t mention any other engagements that would have kept him from leaving less than three hours before a major event in the planning of which he’d been involved for almost 18 months).

    He never bothered to contact us again. My Spousal Unit would probably have forgiven him, but it’s been radio silence ever since.

  31. 31.

    Betty Cracker

    April 6, 2014 at 5:44 am

    @Anne Laurie: Y’all are better off without that inconsiderate prick.

  32. 32.

    Anya

    April 6, 2014 at 5:51 am

    Good for you, Cole! I hope your happiness continues.

    Speaking of Pharrell, I love the Pharrell is vampire meme.

  33. 33.

    OzarkHillbilly

    April 6, 2014 at 5:59 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    but it’s been radio silence ever since.

    Proving once again, that silence is golden.

  34. 34.

    mai naem

    April 6, 2014 at 7:16 am

    This is weird. In my family, I remember this even as a kid, something out of ordinary which was really hilarious would happen and we would be laughing our heads off and inevitably, my parents or one of my sisters would say “hey, you’re laughing too much, don’t laugh too much or you’re going to cry tomorrow.” I don’t remember anybody in my extended family ever saying that, just my immediate family. I’ve never really thought about it before but I guess it is an odd way of thinking.

  35. 35.

    JGabriel

    April 6, 2014 at 7:22 am

    @Hal:

    If I say I hate my job, and give perfectly valid reasons, it drives me insane when friends/family say “At least you have a job.” Yes, I know the economy sucks and many people are out of work, and I am grateful to at least have a fucking job, but it still sucks, still isn’t what I want out of life, and still doesn’t pay shit.

    You have my sympathy. Working in an environment where CEO’s, and other wealthy malefactors, rake in enormous profits, yet don’t share any of those profit gains — and despite having all the economic power, due to high employment, still illegally conspire to screw their employees out of higher wages — sucks. Big time.

  36. 36.

    NotMax

    April 6, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Yiddish word for you to learn (based on the post):

    Kenahora

  37. 37.

    Bex

    April 6, 2014 at 7:45 am

    @mai naem: It’s about avoiding the Evil Eye. I’m German…and Irish. Oy.

  38. 38.

    Redkitten

    April 6, 2014 at 7:50 am

    I’m glad you’re happy, sweetie. You deserve it. Don’t worry too much about your blogging. You have lots of help. Rest on your laurels a bit and enjoy life.

  39. 39.

    srv

    April 6, 2014 at 7:52 am

    I was a better blogger when I was miserable, I really was. But being happy is more important than pithy blog posts.

    Your lot in life was to be miserable and post epic rants. Now we’re stuck with Best Ofs and an emo DougJ.

  40. 40.

    gogol's wife

    April 6, 2014 at 7:52 am

    @Thymezone:

    Oh hai!

    I’m glad John’s happy and not drinking too much. Pets and friends are very helpful in this endeavor.

  41. 41.

    Hillary Rettig

    April 6, 2014 at 7:59 am

    Happy for you, John – you earned it.

    Feeling like there’s an absolute limit to the amount of happiness you can achieve is actually a thing:
    http://experiencelife.com/article/overcome-your-upper-limits/

  42. 42.

    satby

    April 6, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Just enjoy your life for a while John. Nothing lasts forever, not sadness or happiness, but missing the moment you’re in worrying about what’s to come is no way to go. You’re a good person, and you deserve to be happy as much as anyone.

  43. 43.

    Honus

    April 6, 2014 at 8:18 am

    @Another Holocene Human: the author of the Douglass letter post doesn’t seem to get the fact that it’s somewhat unbecoming to demand that blacks forgive racist actions “that were far less worse [sic] than [slavery]” but also “humbly ask forgiveness” for false accusations of racism.

    Because, of course, Jesus demands it. The arrogance is stunning.

  44. 44.

    WereBear

    April 6, 2014 at 8:34 am

    Dude, it’s like any other skill.

    It takes practice.

  45. 45.

    Jamey

    April 6, 2014 at 8:41 am

    …I am German and I can not understand unconditional happiness.

    If you’re German, your last name translates to “cabbage.”

    There, something to be miserable about …

  46. 46.

    PaulW

    April 6, 2014 at 8:41 am

    It must also mean it’s stopped being winter for you.

  47. 47.

    Fluke bucket

    April 6, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Celebrating your happines http://anymajordudewilltellyou.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-queerest-thing-i-found-on-internet.html?spref=fb

  48. 48.

    Birthmarker

    April 6, 2014 at 9:00 am

    Bad things happen to those of us who are blessed with what I’ll just call the “happy gene.” We just are able to compartmentalize and move forward in a way different from the way others react to the human condition.

    I am enjoying the frequency of postings from you lately, John. They don’t have to be negative for me to find them engaging.

  49. 49.

    HRA

    April 6, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Carpe Diem, John. It’s all any of us can ever do.

    Grouchy or happy -I always enjoy your writing.

  50. 50.

    WaterGirl

    April 6, 2014 at 9:15 am

    @PaulW: Someone has been paying attention.

  51. 51.

    burnspbesq

    April 6, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Something shitty has to happen to balance things out.

    You will meet someone and fall in love. That will scramble your shit good and proper.

  52. 52.

    Kristine

    April 6, 2014 at 10:06 am

    I’m actually so happy and content right now that I am worried I am going to die soon, because I am German and I can not understand unconditional happiness. Something shitty has to happen to balance things out.

    I’m the same way, John. In my case, I blame Slavic Fatalism, aka “No good mood ever goes unpunished.”

    I still need to get over it. Life is to be enjoyed. Glad you’re feeling good. May it continue.

  53. 53.

    Poopyman

    April 6, 2014 at 10:09 am

    I see that the additional sunlight is working for you. Again. Enjoy, and try to take it in stride when Fall comes ’round again that you’re going to feel shitty for a couple of months.

    The biggest news in this post is that Cole actually reads DougJ.

  54. 54.

    Patricia Kayden

    April 6, 2014 at 10:35 am

    “I’m actually so happy and content right now that I am worried I am going to die soon, because I am German and I can not understand unconditional happiness.”

    As someone of Jamaican heritage, this made me laugh out loud. I guess I cannot compute except to say that there will always be highs and lows. Here’s hoping that your unconditional happiness outweighs your lows.

  55. 55.

    Joel

    April 6, 2014 at 10:36 am

    @Mnemosyne: The big hats don’t work on Pharrell. It didn’t work in the late nineties when Jason Kay was sporting them.

  56. 56.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    April 6, 2014 at 10:49 am

    But being happy is more important than pithy blog posts.

    I quite agree, but your posts are plenty pithy. Often just a video and a few-word comment.

  57. 57.

    Amir Khalid

    April 6, 2014 at 10:54 am

    @Anne Laurie:
    Well, in that case, you were absolutely in the right..

  58. 58.

    Evan

    April 6, 2014 at 11:04 am

    You can save yourself some time by just listening to the Pomplamoose version, “Happy Get Lucky”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7X8ZnmLfM0

  59. 59.

    Violet

    April 6, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Glad you’re feeling good, John. Changing your diet can really work wonders for the rest of you. It balances hormones along with keeping blood sugar stable and that in turns helps you feel much better. The friend and pets are good too.

  60. 60.

    Ruckus

    April 6, 2014 at 11:34 am

    I’ve found on my worst days that pasting a smile on my face, however lame that might seem, helps brighten a bad mood. My last 20 yrs has had some major Grand Canyon sized downs, with a few corn field flat levels and maybe a couple of mole hill highs but I am not going to let the downs run my life. I’m here while I’m here.
    Life is too short and I want to enjoy what I can, not some version of what I think it should be, negative or positive.

  61. 61.

    DRickard

    April 6, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Just stick to that old Protestant rule, John: life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

  62. 62.

    Redleg

    April 6, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    Don’t worry, John. Your accident proneness will soon lead to a broken bone or two.

  63. 63.

    CaseyL

    April 6, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    You’ve earned the joy, so enjoy it :)

    I learned a long time ago to cherish and savor happiness while it was around to be cherished and savored. Don’t worry that it won’t last. Maybe it will, you never know.

    … I was going to add that I’d miss your epic rants, but election season is ripening like not-so-fine limburger cheese. Something will surely happen to set you off.

  64. 64.

    A.

    April 6, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    I was wondering, are you still eating no-sugar, no-wheat; do you think the change in diet cleared your head?

  65. 65.

    sweetgreensnowpea

    April 6, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    thank you
    I LOVE IT
    listened to it 20 x today, can’t stop smiling/dancing and (i confess i am a weuss) occasionally tearing up
    didn’t even know who pharrell williams was ’til last night’s snl (the first one i’ve enjoyed in years)
    suck it up, cynics

  66. 66.

    Annie

    April 6, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Here is Kazakhstan, we have the India and Africa Happy Pharrell Williams videos. They are very good and I can’t stop smiling…

  67. 67.

    Birthmarker

    April 6, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    @Ruckus: Wise words…

  68. 68.

    wasabi gasp

    April 6, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    I musta already been pushing max happiness, cuz that damn song popped my balloon.

  69. 69.

    Ruckus

    April 6, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    @Birthmarker:
    Maybe wisdom, however little of it there is, does come with time. It took me decades to figure this out but it really isn’t that hard to see if you just look for it.
    Maybe it’s accepting it that is the hard part.

  70. 70.

    Singing Truth to Power

    April 6, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Thinking of our mutual German heritage – there is an e-card which I like that says “Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.”

    Enjoy today –

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