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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Papa’s Got a Brand New Car

Papa’s Got a Brand New Car

by John Cole|  April 7, 20147:53 pm| 79 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Well, new for me.

subie1

subie2

I had never bought a car from a dealership before- every other time I bought a car I just threw a couple grand at someone and signed the title. Damn, there was a lot of paperwork. I seriously signed fewer papers when I enlisted in the Army.

Slammed the Steelers sticker on the car before I even left the lot, and getting used to the new angle of the windshield took about 2/3 of the ride home.

Thinking about a vanity plate, and I might try to slide EFF-EWE or EPH-EWE through and see if I can get away with it.

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Reader Interactions

79Comments

  1. 1.

    raven

    April 7, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    Some fancy photoshop work there.

  2. 2.

    Schlemizel

    April 7, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    I was going to point out that someone damaged the car already but you confessed to defacing the back window yourself.

    Happy motoring!

  3. 3.

    PsiFighter37

    April 7, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    You could go with ‘EFF YOU’, just to be straightforward about your misanthropy.

  4. 4.

    ronin122

    April 7, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    If West Virginia is anything like Illinois, forget it. We got full-time paid staff whose sole purpose is to make sure license plates don’t have such vulgarities hidden inside. Why not IH8PPL or maybe just Tunch?

  5. 5.

    Baud

    April 7, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Congrats! Now you just need to pick a nice field to get her stuck in.

  6. 6.

    Ruckus

    April 7, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    @ronin122:
    Tunch being a proper name and all that may not be allowed, especially in that part of the country.

  7. 7.

    Schlemizel

    April 7, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    Maybe you could try PHHUGH bet that would pass

  8. 8.

    ranchandsyrup

    April 7, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    Congrats, huevon. Nice lookin’ ride. Protip: use the cupholders to carry yr mustard jars. Helpful if the Grey Poupon limo pulls up alongside requesting some.

  9. 9.

    muddy

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    BJ would be jaunty! Or do they not allow them so short?

  10. 10.

    schrodinger's cat

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    @efgoldman: DIAF?

  11. 11.

    Ruckus

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    @efgoldman:
    I’m thinking BJ is right out.

  12. 12.

    Amir Khalid

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Why is the steering on the left-hand side?

  13. 13.

    MomSense

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Congratulations!!

  14. 14.

    schrodinger's cat

    April 7, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    @ronin122:How about FAT CAT?

  15. 15.

    muddy

    April 7, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    @Ruckus: jinx

  16. 16.

    Jane2

    April 7, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    I ‘ve always wanted a plate that read PMS666.

  17. 17.

    YellowJournalism

    April 7, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    How about 2K4-EVA in honor of how long it took to get it?

    ETA: It looks really spiffy. Like it!

  18. 18.

    Irony Abounds

    April 7, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    This fixation on Subaru’s isn’t some clever way of outing yourself now is it? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  19. 19.

    max

    April 7, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: How about FAT CAT?

    BASTARD! I was just came in here to say that.

    FATCAT is the ONLY choice.

    max
    [‘Well, LFDIF (Left For Dead In Field) would work. Be prepared!’]

  20. 20.

    Kristine

    April 7, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    How about “FLOOFY!”

    The car looks nice–I like the wood in the steering wheel and dash.

  21. 21.

    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual

    April 7, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    @Amir Khalid:
    LOL.

    Congrats, John. I wonder how many pets/mustard jars you’ll attract with the new wheels.

  22. 22.

    Roger Moore

    April 7, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    How about BLLNJC or BLLN-JC (if they let you use a dash)?

    ETA: How about IOKIYAR?

  23. 23.

    max

    April 7, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    @max: Well, LFDIF (Left For Dead In Field) would work. Be prepared!

    NOPNTS

    max
    [‘NOMSTD’]

  24. 24.

    Ruckus

    April 7, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    This is going to be fun.
    Like when I was looking for a name for my bicycle shop and some people suggested
    Pedalfeela

    Say it out loud. And yes, those were my friends.

  25. 25.

    PhoenixRising

    April 7, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    @Irony Abounds: Nah, there was a whole ‘nother thread on that topic, and he’s not trying to slip 3DLRBLL past the state of W by gawd V.

  26. 26.

    NotMax

    April 7, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    Vanity plate?

    6Q-2Q

    (Do the math, then say the result aloud.)

  27. 27.

    Ruckus

    April 7, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    @Jane2:
    Sounds good to keep tailgaters back.

  28. 28.

    ranchandsyrup

    April 7, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    how abouts something with 62 in there for Mr. Ilkin?

  29. 29.

    raven

    April 7, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Will “I hate you fucking people” fit?

  30. 30.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 7, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    @Ruckus:

    I’m guessing Tunch the Cat may be more famous than Tunch the Steeler at this point.

  31. 31.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    April 7, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    I think Cole should go with

    Y ME

  32. 32.

    NotMax

    April 7, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Would suggest slapping a hand-applied coat of good quality wax on it periodically. Those silver or gunmetal paint jobs often have a tendency to fade and/or develop a splotchy look when left outdoors in sun and weather.

  33. 33.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 7, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    @Jane2:

    You and 50% of the over-45 population.

  34. 34.

    muddy

    April 7, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Everyone around here knows Tunch because I go shopping with the FEED bag with his picture. I tell people it’s the cat’s blog when they admire him. I also fill it with food and treats once a week for the local shelter. It’s a good size bag for a good size cat.

  35. 35.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 7, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    SKLFKKTN

  36. 36.

    Howard Beale IV

    April 7, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Continental Europe?

  37. 37.

    schrodinger's cat

    April 7, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Oh noes not the kittens, plz leave the kittens alone. Tunch will not be amused!

  38. 38.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 7, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    @muddy:

    Tunch will live forevah!!

  39. 39.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 7, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Not my meme, I iz just quoting.

    I would never SKLFK a sweet little KTN.

  40. 40.

    Elizabelle

    April 7, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    That’s my favorite suggestion yet.

    It’s even vaguely goth.

  41. 41.

    maya

    April 7, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    Where’s the gun rack?

  42. 42.

    Fluke bucket

    April 7, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    I always liked IBI-UBU.

  43. 43.

    Howard Beale IV

    April 7, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    @maya: Best sign I ever saw on a car:

    WARNING: Driver has less than $20 in ammunition”

  44. 44.

    Violet

    April 7, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    Congrats! Those are great cars. Drive so well. Enjoy!

  45. 45.

    Betty Cracker

    April 7, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    It’s a lovely car. So shiny! So clean!

  46. 46.

    Brendan in Charlotte

    April 7, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    @ronin122: Heck – here in North Carolina, the DMV needed the teens to tell them why WTF was not exactly the thing to have on your license plate in the Bible belt. As in WTF-123

  47. 47.

    max

    April 7, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker: Y ME

    FELOVR

    max
    [‘KLUTZ’]

  48. 48.

    A Ghost To Most

    April 7, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    You might get away with FYYFF.

    Fvck you, you fvcking fvck.

  49. 49.

    WaterGirl

    April 7, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Cole needs a reversible plate. One for when he’s all Fuck you, I hate all of you, and another one for the good days. Or maybe just “LOVE LILY”. That’s good for all days.

  50. 50.

    Bex

    April 7, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    STILLRS 1

  51. 51.

    Specialed5000

    April 7, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    A few years ago in my old neighborhood in Richmond, VA I always used to see a green 70s Ford LTD with a plate that said MILF MAN.
    Before the acronym a was as well known, probably wouldn’t get away with it now. Lol

  52. 52.

    p.a.

    April 7, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    “You leave little notes on my pillow:’We are out of milk.F.U.’. It took me 2 weeks to figure out F.U. meant Felix Ungar.”- Walter Matthau.

  53. 53.

    the Conster

    April 7, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    FU QUAD

  54. 54.

    YellowJournalism

    April 7, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    CRMUGN

  55. 55.

    boatboy_srq

    April 7, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    @ronin122: It’s true the nation over. There’s a story about a FC in ME who, harking back to his home, got OUI OUI. ME DOT let him have it for a while, but eventually decided that it didn’t matter what language it was in, wee-wee was still wee-wee.

  56. 56.

    CaseyL

    April 7, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    H8HMNS might work.

    Or PPLSCK.

    Congrats on the car; she looks lovely!

  57. 57.

    Comrade Jake

    April 7, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    FA-Q

  58. 58.

    Betty Cracker

    April 7, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    There was a flap down here in FL several years ago when the state tried to revoke a JEWBAN license plate. Dude was half Jewish, half Cuban (not that uncommon in S FL), but the DMV was afraid people would think it referenced a ban on Jews. The Jewban guy ultimately prevailed, IIRC.

  59. 59.

    Pogonip

    April 7, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    @p.a.: I got an e-mail once headed “f/u.” seemed overly aggressive till I realized it meant “follow up.”

    MOPMAN? MOPPER? DOGDAD?

    I’m trying to figure out how to condense “Steve’s bitch.”

  60. 60.

    Pogonip

    April 7, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    I’ve got it! MOP2IT!

  61. 61.

    muddy

    April 7, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    @YellowJournalism: CRMUDGN. Not that I’m trying to insert myself into it.

  62. 62.

    bago

    April 7, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Despite all the STEELERS and TANKS in his past, an armor piercing kitten did him in. FLUFF4EVA!

  63. 63.

    p.a.

    April 7, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Dead thread, but best vanity I ever saw: NTMNTM.

  64. 64.

    thewesson

    April 7, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    “A FEW”?

  65. 65.

    WaynersT

    April 7, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    that photoshop job was done by a mental patient

  66. 66.

    Central Planning

    April 7, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    How about: F U N E X

    See this: YouTube

  67. 67.

    ShadeTail

    April 7, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    About 10 years ago, I saw a car with a vanity plate that said: “GOD IS P[heart]”

    My first reaction was, “God is fart? Cool!”

  68. 68.

    seefleur

    April 7, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    @Jane2:you are my kind of people… Cheers!

  69. 69.

    Juju

    April 7, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    Nice wheels. I also like the ewe part, though I thought you might be making a comment about your fondness for sheep at first, then after reading the comment I realized I was way off on that one.

  70. 70.

    Juju

    April 7, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    Comments, plural. Dang!

  71. 71.

    waspuppet

    April 7, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    Someone in Rhode Island actually got away with FKMAWL. Saw it myself!

  72. 72.

    p.a.

    April 7, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    STLR62- SteveTunchLilyRosie. 62 was Ilkin’s number. 1st Turkish NFLer?

  73. 73.

    jame

    April 8, 2014 at 12:16 am

    Why don’t you like Edwin Edwards?

  74. 74.

    Montarvillois

    April 8, 2014 at 5:26 am

    Hubba Hubba

  75. 75.

    LuigiDaMan

    April 8, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Steelers sticker lowers the value of the car by about 20%.

  76. 76.

    kc

    April 8, 2014 at 8:04 am

    @Jane2:

    Too dangerous. Motorists behind you would be laughing too hard to drive.

  77. 77.

    Rand Careaga

    April 8, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Q Q Q Q

  78. 78.

    brantl

    April 8, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    Thinking about a vanity plate, and I might try to slide EFF-EWE or EPH-EWE through and see if I can get away with it.

    Then you deserve to be rear-ended. And I don’t necessarily mean in the car.

  79. 79.

    brantl

    April 8, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Sofa Q, was one of the worst ones I ever saw, and I wanted to rear end him, when he cut me off.

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