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You are here: Home / Burning Man Embraces the Freedom

Burning Man Embraces the Freedom

by John Cole|  April 21, 20146:58 pm| 59 Comments

This post is in: Teabagger Stupidity, The Dirty F-ing Hippies Were Right

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This is totally awesome:

Come celebrate TOTAL FREEDOM at BUNDYFEST, just across the street from the Cliven Bundy Ranch, in Bunkerville, Nevada! 240 bands, 24 hours a day, for a SOLID ROCKIN’ MONTH!!!!

*NO PERMITS REQUIRED
*CAMP ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE
*FULL NUDITY NOT A PROBLEM
*GAY-FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE
*PENIS ERECTION CONTEST: Erect the largest penis in the open desert, win valuable prize! (tbd)

BACKGROUND: For years, we paid permitting fees to hold Burning Man on the beautiful Playa in Northern Nevada. But now, Cliven Bundy has shown us a NEW WAY! ABSOLUTE FREEDOM! Bundy has declared the entire area surrounding Bundy Ranch as a TOTALLY RULES-FREE ZONE! ANYTHING GOES! WOO-HOO!!!

Why should Burning Man end on September 1st? Swing down to Vegas for a few days for some R&R, a few good buffets, and then HEAD ON UP TO BUNDYFEST! All 50,000+ Burning Man participants are invited to attend — and as many more as can make the trip from anywhere in the world! 100,000? 250,000? THE SKY IS THE LIMIT AT BUNDYFEST! The desert surrounding Bundy’s ranch is LIMITLESS!

You really have to watch the video on facebook.

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Previous Post: « Watch the world die
Next Post: All part of decency’s jigsaw I suppose »

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  1. 1.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    April 21, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    “Here, let me sauce your goose”

  2. 2.

    Poopyman

    April 21, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    Ooooh! Hell’s Angels AND the LA Gay Men’s Choir! Should be quite a treat!

  3. 3.

    Morbo

    April 21, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    Who else wants steak? Fresh steak over here, and I mean really fresh. Where did it come from? Never you mind.

  4. 4.

    Jacks mom

    April 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    This is perfect!

    “It’s fucking anarchy,”

  5. 5.

    srv

    April 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    Freedom is messy

  6. 6.

    Baud

    April 21, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    just across the street from the Cliven Bundy Ranch,

    Why not at the ranch? All we have to do is not recognize his sovereignty over his private property.

  7. 7.

    PsiFighter37

    April 21, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    I lol’ed at the penis erection contest, although it should also be a timed contest – person to maintain the boner the longest (both physically and chronologically speaking) gets one of Bundy’s cattle for a proper steak dinner.

  8. 8.

    PsiFighter37

    April 21, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Ugh, I knew my quip about the aforementioned contest would get me landed in moderation.

  9. 9.

    Mnemosyne

    April 21, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    @Baud:

    Why not at the ranch? All we have to do is not recognize his sovereignty over his private property.

    Unfortunately, his trigger-happy buddies would probably not accept that argument. Keep it across the street for safety.

  10. 10.

    Keith G

    April 21, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    @Poopyman: Can we please see an NAACP tie in. Better yet, is the Farakan folks still able to generate a crowd? How about The Gathering of the Juggalos for some extra fun.

  11. 11.

    John Cole

    April 21, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    @PsiFighter37: I thought when they said penis erection they were going to erect giant penises ala Easter Island, but phallic. In other words, precisely what Donald Trump has been doing in New York City for three decades.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    April 21, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Seems like a good way to get shot by a Jesus Firster.

  13. 13.

    J

    April 21, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Great! But the authors of this spoof should have said people of all races nationalities and varieties of immigration status most heartily welcome’ too, to point up the contrast.

  14. 14.

    Poopyman

    April 21, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Oddly enough, if you go to Google Maps and enter “Bundy Ranch, Bunkerville, NV”, it goes right to it.

  15. 15.

    Cacti

    April 21, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    All the free steaks and beef ribs you can eat!

  16. 16.

    ronin122

    April 21, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    I know a guy that does Burning Man almost every year (may abstain since he just had a kid) who’d get a kick out of this I think.

    OT but your Pens are shitting the bed again it seems (down 2-0 in the first against Columbus!?)

  17. 17.

    Talentless Hack

    April 21, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    I bet they call themselves the Blue Jackets because nobody could think up a cooler name. It’s Columbus, yo. I used to live there . Nobody has a lick of imagination in central Ohio. None. Zero. Bupkis.

  18. 18.

    rikyrah

    April 21, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Missouri GOP House panel to discuss impeaching Democratic Gov. Jay Nixon
    April 21, 2014
    BY JASON HANCOCK The Star’s Jefferson City correspondent

    JEFFERSON CITY — The long shot effort to remove Gov. Jay Nixon from office will get underway on Wednesday, when a state House committee will hold a hearing on three articles of impeachment.

    While the chances that Nixon will actually be impeached are minuscule, the House Judiciary Committee Chairman Stanley Cox had said a hearing would be conducted if the sponsors of the articles of impeachment requested one.

    Republican lawmakers have raised three complaints against the Democratic governor they believe rise to the level of misconduct and neglect of duty that warrant impeachment.

    http://www.kansascity.com/2014/04/21/4972495/missouri-house-panel-to-discuss.html#storylink=cpy

  19. 19.

    Eric U.

    April 21, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    I bet Clive’s anti-government feelings don’t extend to the government protecting his property rights

  20. 20.

    LanceThruster

    April 21, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Be sure to bring your ‘great equalizers’ and body armor.

  21. 21.

    WaterGirl

    April 21, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    I’m almost embarrassed to say that I can’t tell if this is for real or if some guy is just spoofing Bundy to get him riled up. How the hell are we supposed to tell anymore?

  22. 22.

    MikeBoyScout

    April 21, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    teh awesome

  23. 23.

    JPL

    April 21, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    John, the NY Times has a retro view on Terri Schiavo and my first thought was your blog.. link My second thought was I’m still reading your blog after all those years.

  24. 24.

    JPL

    April 21, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    whoops.. double post

  25. 25.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    April 21, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I’m not totally convinced that across the street will constitute safety. I need some time in the desert; alas, my schedule won’t permit.

  26. 26.

    Sly

    April 21, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    The use of Ted Bundy’s face was inspired. Probably inspired by lots and lots of psilocybin, but inspired nonetheless.

  27. 27.

    raven

    April 21, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    FukinA.

  28. 28.

    Baud

    April 21, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I think that it’s spoof.

    PENIS ERECTION CONTEST: Erect the largest penis in the open desert, win valuable prize! (tbd)

    Everyone knows that Bundy is the biggest dick in the open desert.

  29. 29.

    Ash Can

    April 21, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    I’d love to see this actually happen, except that the performers and attendees would be in grave danger of being shot by Bundy and his merry band of cretins.

  30. 30.

    jonas

    April 21, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    @Sly: That was the most brilliant bit. If I didn’t have to work, I’d totally be there. Burning Man’s for poseurs these days — this would actually rock. Imagine a complete Woodstock-style love-in, drum circles, etc. I also want there to be major exhibits by both Mexico and the Shoshone Nation labeled “Ask Us About Sovereignty and Historical Land Claims!!”

  31. 31.

    Jennifer

    April 21, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    This is an awesome idea. I love this kind of stuff. It’s in the same vein as my idea for dildoguns – real, actual guns that look like male members, that could be carried by folks like us at open-carry events and in businesses that advertise how they welcome open-carry in their establishments. You can just imagine a business owner or manager asking someone carrying a dildogun to leave the premises, because he’s making other patrons uncomfortable and they don’t want their kids to see someone carrying around a large replica penis. Then, those whose 2nd Amendment rights have been so infringed can say things like, “I just like having my dildogun with me at all times,” and “it takes a good guy with a dildogun to stop a bad guy with a dildogun” and “there’s nothing in the constitution that says my gun can’t look like a dildo!” and so forth. As a bonus, we might be treated to the sight of Wayne LaPierre standing in front of a large crowd with a big black dildo(gun) in his hands, having to stand up for the 2nd Amendment right to own and carry one. Also amusing would be the knots conservative elected officials would be tying themselves into in an effort to outlaw dildoguns after having claimed for years that there’s no basis for outlawing other weapons based on the way they look (having been styled as assault-type weapons). Fun for everyone!

  32. 32.

    Roger Moore

    April 21, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    @Eric U.:

    I bet Clive’s anti-government feelings don’t extend to the government protecting his property rights

    Of course not; he’s one of these guys who thinks the county sheriff is all powerful. He just doesn’t believe that the federal government has the right to own land except for buildings and military bases, so it shouldn’t be able to own the BLM land he’s using. How convenient…

  33. 33.

    jonas

    April 21, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    What the hell with the moderation? I didn’t say anything about Pr0n or pee-nizzes.

  34. 34.

    Jennifer

    April 21, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    Please oh please don’t moderate my comment out of existence.

  35. 35.

    raven

    April 21, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    I went to the grocery store after work and had Hannity on by mistake. He was bitching that the feds were arresting innocent cows instead if Bundy!

  36. 36.

    Baud

    April 21, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    @raven:

    Free Moomia!

  37. 37.

    Mnemosyne

    April 21, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    @raven:

    Asset seizure — how does it work?

  38. 38.

    Jennifer

    April 21, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Thanks, JC!

  39. 39.

    Violet

    April 21, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    This is awesome. Love this guy.

  40. 40.

    muddy

    April 21, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    @Baud: :-)

  41. 41.

    Violet

    April 21, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    @Jennifer: I think this is a great idea, but there’s no need to point out that it’s a d1ldogun. It’s just a gun. If people get upset, then start with the “my second amendment rights” stuff. Otherwise, a blamk look and, “This is my gun. I have a right to carry it.” with a quizzical look when someone asks you not to show it in public would do just fine.

    It’s similar to white people getting upset when black people have guns. It’s not about the right to bear arms. It’s about their right to do what they want and to not be either offended or scared by something other people do.

  42. 42.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 21, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    @rikyrah:

    Republican lawmakers have raised three complaints against the Democratic governor they believe rise to the level of misconduct and neglect of duty that warrant impeachment.

    First, he’s a Democrat.

    Second, he’s the member of the wrong political party

    Third, he’s got an IQ greater than the combined IQ of all the teatards in Missouri.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 21, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    @Sly: Ted Bundy WAS a Young Republican, you know.

  44. 44.

    Roger Moore

    April 21, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Third, he’s got an IQ greater than the combined IQ of all the teatards in Missouri.

    So does the average cabbage.

  45. 45.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 21, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    @Roger Moore: Touché

  46. 46.

    Ben Cisco

    April 21, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    @Baud: LOLZ.

  47. 47.

    cintibud

    April 21, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    @efgoldman: Jeez, how about a little history?

    Blue Jacket or Weyapiersenwah (c. 1743 – c. 1810) was a war chief of the Shawnee people, known for his militant defense of Shawnee lands in the Ohio Country. Perhaps the preeminent American Indian leader in the Northwest Indian War, in which a pan-tribal confederacy fought several battles with the nascent United States, he was an important predecessor of the famous Shawnee leader Tecumseh.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Jacket

  48. 48.

    muddy

    April 21, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    @Jennifer: You will also need special holsters, as this might not work with current versions. There could be a couple of different designs I can think of that would definitely add to the discomfort of viewers.

  49. 49.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    April 21, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    @Roger Moore: Hell, so does your below average cabbage, for that matter.

  50. 50.

    Pogonip

    April 21, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    @cintibud: Every summer there is an outdoor play about him in lovely Xenia, Ohio.

  51. 51.

    Cassidy

    April 21, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Blue Jacket is a regional historical figure in that area and a relative of mine. I’m so white, even my Native American ancestor was a white guy.

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 21, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    @cintibud: The stupid bee in the Civil War uniform on the other hand….

  53. 53.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    April 21, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    @Cassidy: I’m the whitest white you’ll ever see, complete with a head of white hair I’ve had since I was 35 – I always assumed it was my Irish heritage at work. Then, when a young cousin of mine was diagnosed with myeloma, and many of us had cheek swabs taken to determine if we could donate bone marrow, I learned that I’m of fairly recent African-American ancestry. I can’t tell you how much I love that.

  54. 54.

    aimai

    April 21, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    @Mnemosyne: If you combine your question on Asset Seizure with Jennifer’s comment on the D***do Gun you get a really…uh…interesting image.

  55. 55.

    coin operated

    April 21, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    @Jennifer: Oh…My…FSM. That was beautiful.

  56. 56.

    lol chikinburd

    April 21, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    @cintibud: And yet even naming a team after a historical Native leader is unoriginal in the NHL.

  57. 57.

    cintibud

    April 21, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    @lol chikinburd: Well, I just learned something!

  58. 58.

    Robert E Lee

    April 22, 2014 at 3:08 am

    A Jesus Fister?

  59. 59.

    Central Planning

    April 22, 2014 at 4:23 am

    @muddy:

    You will also need special holsters

    A shoulder vag?

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