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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: Bow Down, Oklahoma

Open Thread: Bow Down, Oklahoma

by $8 blue check mistermix|  May 3, 201411:54 am| 134 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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satan
This is the statue of Baphomet that Satanists are going to place on the state capital grounds in Oklahoma, next to the ten commandments monument installed there in 2012. When complete, it will be cast in bronze and Baphomet will be sitting under the pentagram, his lap serving as a seat for children. The Church of the FSM also wants to add a monument there.

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Reader Interactions

134Comments

  1. 1.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    The First Amendment can be fun.

  2. 2.

    mai naem

    May 3, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    I think some musleemy stuff would bother them more. Isn’t Oklahoma one of the states that tried to pass a law against sharia law?

  3. 3.

    Tokyokie

    May 3, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Sigh. These idiots don’t think government can do anything well, yet they want it to reinforce their religious beliefs to the exclusion of others.

  4. 4.

    Ruckus

    May 3, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    That ought to piss off the god bothers nicely.

  5. 5.

    Bill in Section 147

    May 3, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Are they fund raising? It would be lovely to donate to sponsor “Tom Coburn, doing His work since 1995.” if they allow inscription level donations.

    I would also consider donating at the Silver Fork level for the FSM in mine own name.

  6. 6.

    Mnemosyne

    May 3, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    I can’t say I love it as a piece of artwork, but I would totally take a picture of myself sitting in its lap.

  7. 7.

    catclub

    May 3, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    @mai naem: Except actual Muslim stuff is not allowed to be representative of people, which makes it less likely to be offensive. Mosque decorations are usually just geometric.

  8. 8.

    Baud

    May 3, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Baphomet has one too many fingers raised up in the air.

  9. 9.

    rea

    May 3, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    @mai naem: I think some musleemy stuff would bother them more

    “Baphomet,” a named that first appears in Medieval Franch, is believed by scholars to be derived from “Mohammed.” Phillip IV of France accused the Knights Templar of worshipping “Baphomet” and had them burned at the stake (and confiscated their riches).

  10. 10.

    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual

    May 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    @mai naem:

    Just a flag with the shahada on it. Would that work?

  11. 11.

    Turner Hedenkoff

    May 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Awesome. I’d also suggest a shrine to Bob Dobbs, a place for Boko-maru and a little altar where those so inclined can sacrifice chickens to Baron Samedi. The joint could get a bit crowded after a while.

  12. 12.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    @mai naem:
    Slight problem there: you can’t have a depiction of the Prophet, which is streng verboten in Islam.

  13. 13.

    Turner Hedenkoff

    May 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Awesome. I’d also suggest a shrine to Bob Dobbs, a place for Boko-maru and a little altar where those so inclined can sacrifice chickens to Baron Samedi. The joint could get a bit crowded after a while.

  14. 14.

    Mike in NC

    May 3, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Remember the poor schmuck whose execution in Oklahoma was badly screwed up last week? About half the comments I’ve seen in various media are along the lines of “Good, he got what he deserved!” or “If they executed more people that way, it would lower the crime rate!”. So much for the US Constitution that these clowns claim to care so much about.

  15. 15.

    scav

    May 3, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    @Baud: But isn’t that the Cub Scout Salute? That’d be worth a few howls.

  16. 16.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    I love this whole approach.

    Do wonder what else will end up in Baphomet’s lap.

    Comments on this article are funny, because those who don’t get it really don’t get it.

    The founders knew what they were doing.

  17. 17.

    Suzanne

    May 3, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    I want to pose with it. Preferably in some highly inappropriate clothing

    Mr. Suzanne and I are enjoying the stomach flu. Argh. We need chicken soup delivery.

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    @rea:
    That shit was made up, wasn’t it? Other people just wanted the Knights Templars’ money and influence. We Muslims don’t actually worship the Prophet, of course.

    @RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual:
    You mean, like this?

  19. 19.

    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual

    May 3, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yes, but just the shahada by itself. No sword. Would that suffice?

  20. 20.

    Cluttered Mind

    May 3, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I believe that is correct. The usual method in that era for ridding yourself of a rival and getting a shot at taking all his or her stuff was to accuse them of witchcraft/devil worship. It worked on the Knights Templar, and later on it worked in Salem.

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    This is awesome.

    In your face, christianist scum.

  22. 22.

    Citizen_X

    May 3, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    @scav:

    isn’t that the Cub Scout Salute?

    So that’s where I went wrong. Thanks a lot, Webelos!

  23. 23.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    @RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual:
    I think it would suffice, yes. The pearl-clutchers wouldn’t notice the lack of a sword.

  24. 24.

    Jay C

    May 3, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Well, I hope they cast old Baphomet in pretty thick bronze, since I’m sure that some of the “offerings” he’s going attract from the good citizens of Oklahoma aren’t going to be so benign.

    @Amir Khalid:

    Of course, anyone with half a brain knows that Muslims don’t actually “worship” the Prophet (SAW) – but remember, these are (probably Republican) Oklahoma State Legislators. Who can’t be held to the half-a-brain standard.

  25. 25.

    scav

    May 3, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Next up? Hinduism — a Shiva linga. Please.
    Plus, those horns are making me think of Moses.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    @Jay C:

    but remember, these are (probably Republican) Oklahoma State Legislators. Who can’t be held to the half-a-brain standard.

    Well, probably not even a 1/10th of a brain standard. Drooling imbeciles are what they are.

  27. 27.

    MomSense

    May 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Wish I were closer, I would bring you some homemade. Since I’ve gone veggie, I miss making it.

    If you can get some good miso paste (South River Miso is the best) try making some broth. It has lots of nutrients and is very soothing.

  28. 28.

    shelley

    May 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Cause everybody knows all kids love ’em some Satan!

  29. 29.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    @scav: “Please do not feed my god a peanut.”

  30. 30.

    mai naem

    May 3, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    I know you can’t have pictorial representation of living animals in Islam but I think the crescent symbol and just a sculpture version of a book with “Koran” on it would be enough to drive the wingnuts over the edge. Also too, a pic of the mosque at Mecca. Maybe some sayings from the Koran. I’m all for some more false outrage from the whackjobs. At least its more entertaining than Benghazi Benghazi 24/7. I wish Colbert or somebody would do some silly Jay Lenoesque-like Ask the Stupid Average Joe piece about Benghazi. I have a feeling it would be so funny it would go viral.

  31. 31.

    JPL

    May 3, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    The Chief Justice in Alabama might disagree with these symbols. It seems the first amendment only applies to Christians. link

  32. 32.

    sylvainsylvain

    May 3, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    @scav:

    Supposedly a statue of Ganesh is in the pipeline, as well.

  33. 33.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    @shelley: Well, they are listening they all are listening to that Satan worshipping rock and roll with their leather jackets and Brylcreemed hair. Damned beatniks.*

    *Adjusted to fit the cultural awareness of an Okie legislator.

    @JPL: Roy Moore is and always has been dumber than a bag of hammers.

  34. 34.

    scav

    May 3, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    @sylvainsylvain: Yes! Personally, he is rather my favorite (although I’ve got a nice Krishna on snake bronze too) and there are subtle points on the Elephant metric.

  35. 35.

    Xenos

    May 3, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    For Muslims you just need an arrow on the ground that points along the great circle direction to Mecca . Which in Oklahoma is a bit NE, I think … It will confuse the funnies something awful.

  36. 36.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    @RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual: @Amir Khalid:
    Or even better, replace the sword with an AK-47.

  37. 37.

    Mandalay

    May 3, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Nobody could have predicted this…

    Condoleezza Rice backed out of delivering the commencement address at Rutgers University after protests by students and faculty who were against honoring the former secretary of State due to her role in the Iraq War. “Commencement should be a time of joyous celebration for the graduates and their families,” Rice said in a statement posted by the National Review. “Rutgers’ invitation to me to speak has become a distraction for the university community at this very special time.”….The school’s board of governors had agreed to pay Rice $35,000 and award her an honorary doctoral degree for her commencement speech scheduled for May 18.

    Rice can scrub her hands with bleach a gazillion times, and they will still be soaked in blood.

  38. 38.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    @Xenos:
    An arrow indicating the direction of the qiblat? That would actually be practical and a helpful thing for any Muslims around. But a little too subtle for the less-than-half-a-brain crowd, I fear.

  39. 39.

    WereBear

    May 3, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    For our Pagan friends, perhaps a nice Sun/Moon graphic to represent the Great Duality?

    And our geek friends can come up with a Apple/PC logo to represent the Great Binary.

    Of course, the FSM loves us all.

  40. 40.

    scav

    May 3, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    @WereBear: A giant colander would make a dandy fountain and we could all play underneath it on hot days.

  41. 41.

    Yatsuno

    May 3, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    @Amir Khalid: A crescent would do. In the direction of the qiblih. Sorry that’s how I was taught to spell it.

  42. 42.

    Anoniminous

    May 3, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Considering it is Oklahoma they should put up a statue to Aiolos, the God of Tornadoes.

  43. 43.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    @Amir Khalid: The first time I was in Milwaukee (many years ago), I thought it quite nice that they had signs all around pointing toward Mecca. As I later realized, the signs were pointing toward MECCA (Milwaukee Exposition Convention Center and Arena). Ah, youth.

  44. 44.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: And the bag of hammers has some utility, too.

  45. 45.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    @Anoniminous: Hmmm. Apparently the Oklahoma Aiolos is in league with Moloch, because it seems to be OK to sacrifice your elementary school age children to him.

  46. 46.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Where’s Stonehenge? Damn druids always get overlooked when planning public buildings.

    And don’t try to pay us off with some tiny Spinal Tappy version.

  47. 47.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I disagree. I really like the aesthetics–very 19th century neo-classical revival American civic statuary going on there. Nothing that screams “joke entry”. The sculptural style is part of the symbolism of the piece (the posing of little boy and girl comes consciously from late 19th century through mid 20th century mass produced color religious images).

    I’m interested in the hand gestures as they are reminiscent of the hand posed in blessing of older Christian religious iconography and also of the gestures in Hindu and Buddhist religious art.

  48. 48.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    @Turner Hedenkoff: I think a ritual circle of smiling Dobbsheads, maybe strung from the ceiling as you walk in, would set the right tone for an Oklahoma courthouse.

    Of course, given that the cult originates in Texas, I would expect vandalism. Miserable Oklahomans hate Texans more than they hate themselves.

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    @Elizabelle: I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

  50. 50.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 1:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Druids don’t get no respect.

    Yeah. Math. How does it work?

  51. 51.

    WereBear

    May 3, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    @scav: What a delightful idea!

    Of course, I consider any collection remiss if it does not have Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess.

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    @Elizabelle: Um, there were two marks. Inches. Not one mark, feet, two. Inches.

  53. 53.

    rea

    May 3, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    @Amir Khalid: “That shit was made up, wasn’t it?”

    Well, yeah, but it is not completely clear whether it was made up by Phillip IV or by the Templars.

    And of course it’s not real Islam, but it might be based to some extent on the Crusaders’ notions of Islam.

  54. 54.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Catholics don’t worship Mary and the saints, either, despite what Protestants claim, although it’s true, we do ask them for favors.

    The whole notion is that you ask someone in better standing with the big boss to ask for something for you. The Protestant reformers never claimed as far as I know that there was anything heretical about looking for an intermediary (the communion of saints), so in their rhetoric they mischaracterized the practice instead. Rather, the outrageous part of the whole history was the Roman Catholic Church, on pain of death, enforcing their exclusive “talking to God” franchise and when anybody got too vocal about talking to God directly, they were burned at the stake, or, as in the case of Wycliff, who had frustrated the authorities by dying before they could get to him, they burned his remains posthumously.

    I mean, if you didn’t need an intermediary, then you didn’t need a priest, if you didn’t need a priest, you didn’t need the Church, and that’s a valuable enterprise, you don’t just give that away.

  55. 55.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    At least discussing all mighty Baphomet is distracting us from talking about tonight’s White House Correspondents Dinner.

    Here in DC, some are trying to call it the “Nerd Prom.”

    I guess “Suck Ass Prom” wasn’t as flattering. Geek chic and all.

  56. 56.

    Roger Moore

    May 3, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    @catclub:

    Except actual Muslim stuff is not allowed to be representative of people, which makes it less likely to be offensive.

    I thought they did a lot of Arabic inscriptions, too. Some traditional inscriptions like “God is great” and “There is no God but God and Mohammad is His prophet” would get the wingnuts nicely riled up.

  57. 57.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    @Elizabelle: Since Ed Henry is involved, the “Shitstain Prom” is more like it.

  58. 58.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    @scav: Next up? Hinduism — a Shiva linga. Please.

    I think I’d prefer a continuously running video of anointing it in honey and milk on the high holidays. I think placing a lingam in a courthouse hallway would probably amount to desecration. Of the lingam.

    Although now that i think about it a big yoni on the floor in the centroid of a domed rotunda would be awesome. OK capitol building, anyone?

  59. 59.

    rea

    May 3, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    @Elizabelle: Where’s Stonehenge?

    Apparently, in Maryhill, Washington:

    http://columbiariverimages.com/Images12/stonehenge_05-29-12_med.jpg

  60. 60.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    @Another Holocene Human: Well, the Baptists, for example, traditionally, don’t believe in intermediaries.

    However, the Southern Baptists have changed their minds on that, as all their preachers would be out of grifting gigs if that were true.

  61. 61.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    @Another Holocene Human:

    … don’t need a priest, don’t need a Church, don’t need a Cathedral, don’t need a Pope in Prada shoes and helicopters. And men running around in scarlet dresses.

    Don’t want to go down that path at all.

  62. 62.

    Joel Hanes

    May 3, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    What has happened to the Internets I used to know?
    Forty-eight comments of comparative religious mockery, and no one has mentioned Scientology.

    I imagine that today’s Scientologists would actually go with the dorky “Scientology Cross”, or the even-dorkier S-with-two-triangles; back in the day it would have been a huge bronze bust of Hubbard at which adherents could sacrifice packs of Kools. But for pure restimulative value, nothing beats a grade-school model of an erupting volcano, to remind those immortal Thetans that they’re still Xenu’s psychological prisoners.

  63. 63.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Actually, to be honest, there is nothing more irritating religion-wise than Hindu cultists, hare Krishas for an example, tabling with big posters with odd spelling about their hero god and how much of a shit you are to eat meat, sinner, pressing arcane and badly-printed religious literature in your hands and then demanding a donation.

    Just make it clear they stay until somebody backs up a forklift to the ten commandments.

  64. 64.

    Roger Moore

    May 3, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “Please do not feed my god a peanut.”

    “Please pay for your purchase and get out! And come again.”

  65. 65.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Sorry if unclear–the RCC said during the middle ages it was heresy not to require an intermediary–you could fall and lead others into error, for example–but the Protestants, depending on flavor, affirmed a right to read scripture for themselves and do away with intermediaries. I’m just responding to some popular anti-Catholic polemic about the meaning of intermediaries. Communion of the saints to me probably as more to do with what Westerners term “ancestor worship” than anything else.

    I think more mainline, official Protestant sects depending on a state monopoly on christenings and marriages as well as tax revenues, which was a major reform from seeking out and killing refuseniks.

  66. 66.

    Origuy

    May 3, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    @rea:

    Apparently, in Maryhill, Washington:

    I’ve been there; it’s kind of cool. The nearby Maryhill Museum has some interesting, quirky collections.

  67. 67.

    Elizabelle

    May 3, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    re WHCD: I look forward to hearing what wisecrack PBO brings down on their unworthy heads tonight.

    Stephen Colbert is now one of the annointed ones. Just got a prime gig.

    They’re in a profession that’s fading, fading, fading …

    (PS: WHCD could also be what a houseful of corporate dicks? Couldn’t it?)

  68. 68.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    However, the Southern Baptists have changed their minds on that, as all their preachers would be out of grifting gigs if that were true.

    What the old school Catholic clergy missed, perhaps because they were the third sons of landed nobility, knights, who engaged in continual violent conflicts with each other throughout the medieval period, is that you can fleece people without threat of violence.

    The mega preacher phenom is quite amazing, really.

  69. 69.

    Roger Moore

    May 3, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Catholics don’t worship Mary and the saints, either, despite what Protestants claim, although it’s true, we do ask them for favors.

    This strikes me as a rather fine point of the type that many people- including many of the people who are doing it- will miss. It gets especially dicey when you realize that a lot of those “saints” are co-opted pagan deities who people used to pray to for exactly the same things. Catholic theology may be properly orthodox, but a lot of Catholic lay practice looks suspiciously polytheistic.

  70. 70.

    Anoniminous

    May 3, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    If they would stop ignoring the gods and build a proper – underground – shrine to Mithras that kind of thing wouldn’t happen.

  71. 71.

    Origuy

    May 3, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    @Another Holocene Human: Those “Hindu cultists”, the Hare Krishna bunch, are to mainstream Hindus what Jehovah’s Witnesses are to Episcopalians.

  72. 72.

    catclub

    May 3, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    @WereBear: Apple/PC logo

    if we are talking great dualities then we need an EMACS/Vi logo

  73. 73.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    @Anoniminous: How about Shango?

  74. 74.

    catclub

    May 3, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    Never hurts to bring up:

    In the Church of Aphrodite
    Priestess wears a see through nightie,
    She’s an awfully righteous sightie,
    and its good enough for me.

  75. 75.

    trollhattan

    May 3, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Remember Cole v. truck-driving douche at the supermarket earlier this week?

    SEK parries with hicks v. dyke at the Home Depot.

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2014/05/new-hero-born

  76. 76.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    @Roger Moore: Well, once you get into miraculous medals and the like, all bets are off. There’s a high tolerance of superstition as long as it’s approved superstition. (Scapulars: in. Palm-reading: out.)

    There’s a great scene in Tortilla Flats where a character changes intermediaries after a misfortune. She had been asking Santa Maria for help and when that didn’t work out she switches to Santa Lucia, telling her, “My daughter doesn’t know who the father is either.”

  77. 77.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Since we’re discussing religion in general, I’m not sure what to make of this, from Noisemax:

    Late Cardinal O’Connor’s Mother Was Jewish

    The mother of New York’s beloved late Cardinal John O’Connor — a stalwart supporter of the Jewish community who once called himself a “spiritual Semite”— was born a Jew and converted before she married the prelate’s father, genealogical research has found.

    Which means, traditionally, that O’Connor was a Jew, as “Jewishness” passes through the maternal side.. Not sure how the Noisemax reader base is supposed to react to this…with horror, or with indifference, or with “Go Israel, you rawk, kill some more Muslim kids!” cheers.

  78. 78.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    @Origuy: “I said ‘ha-ha’.”

  79. 79.

    Citizen_X

    May 3, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    replace the sword with an AK-47

    Are you kidding? Then the rednecks would actually fall down on their knees and worship it!

    “So whussat foreign writin’ say, Jim Bob?”
    “Why ah believe that says ‘Come and take it,’ Billy Bob.”

  80. 80.

    Another Holocene Human

    May 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Although she and he were apikouros. Although it was a voluntary conversation there is a VERY ugly history of forced conversions of Jews, including a 19th century Pope who stole a baby and raised him to be a priest. (He later apostacized–the priest, not the pope.)

    Really interesting. A melting pot story.

    ETA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abie%27s_Irish_Rose

    And this happened because of mixed urban neighborhoods in rapidly expanding cities. Something Wilson halted and reversed with his red-lining scheme, leading to ethnic violence, white flight, and a massive subsidy scheme to suburbs.

  81. 81.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    Then the rednecks would actually fall down on their knees and worship it!

    I love it when a plan comes together.

  82. 82.

    Citizen_X

    May 3, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    @Amir Khalid: So have the monument with its back facing Mecca, and Voila! Instant Secret Muslims!

  83. 83.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    @Another Holocene Human: Wilson was an ass on any number of counts.

  84. 84.

    Anoniminous

    May 3, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Works for me.

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    May 3, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    @Another Holocene Human:

    I really like the aesthetics–very 19th century neo-classical revival American civic statuary going on there.

    I was traumatized at a young age by some of the creepier works of Lorado Taft and I still dislike that style. YMMV, of course.

  86. 86.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    OT, more Noisemax nonsense:

    Rep. Gowdy: ‘I Have Evidence’ of Cover-Up on Benghazi

    So, fork it over, tough guy. Let’s see your evidence. Make it public, now. Show us the cover up. We’re waiting.

    /taps foot

    Still waiting, jackass.

  87. 87.

    Mustang Bobby

    May 3, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    @Ruckus: There’s a tribe in the South Pacific that made a god out of a 1937 Chevy. We could put that up next to this statue. That would be a cool shrine if they get the right hubcaps.

  88. 88.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    @Mustang Bobby: “Those are NOT the right hubcaps! Heresy! Heresy!”

  89. 89.

    Anoniminous

    May 3, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    The death of hundreds of thousands in the Civil War was a boon to the committing (with intent and in the first degree) of public eyesores.

  90. 90.

    Rafer Janders

    May 3, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Catholics don’t worship Mary and the saints, either, despite what Protestants claim, although it’s true, we do ask them for favors.

    Um, speaking as a former Catholic, but Catholics do kind of worship Mary. That may not be the “official” Church position but in daily practice millions and millions of Catholics perform thoughts and actions directed towards Mary that are indistinguishable from worship.

  91. 91.

    Rafer Janders

    May 3, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Catholic theology may be properly orthodox, but a lot of Catholic lay practice looks suspiciously polytheistic.

    It doesn’t even “look” suspiciously polytheistic — it is, for all intents and purposes. I’m from a large Catholic family, and I know lots of Catholics who when they pray to Mary, for example, aren’t really praying to Mary to ask God to do something — they’re praying directly to her, and they’re asking her to intercede in their lives directly. That’s polytheism in practice, though they don’t admit it as such.

  92. 92.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    @Rafer Janders: Well, the “official” position of many American protestants is that they don’t worship Mammon, but in fact, it appears that they do.

    So there’s that.

  93. 93.

    WereBear

    May 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Speaking of which, I do adore:

    House of The Rising Sun – Musical Tesla Coils

    In the sense that it is AWEsome.

  94. 94.

    Mnemosyne

    May 3, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Okay, since this is kind of a religious practices thread, I have a possibly slightly crazy question for Amir, if he’s still hanging around:

    I sometimes make knitwear for boys and girls in Afghanistan through Afghans for Afghans and I’m thinking about this pattern. Is it abstract enough to not get anyone in trouble with the local Taliban, or am I safer sticking with stripes?

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne

    May 3, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    @Rafer Janders:

    Technically, isn’t any non-unitarian Christian who believes in the trinity a polytheist?

    Also, IIRC, some of the original Protestant objection to Catholic “worship” of the saints was more that offerings (like flowers, candles, etc.) were being placed in front of statues of the saints, which amounted to idol worship.

  96. 96.

    Amir Khalid

    May 3, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    @Mnemosyne:
    Yes. I’m up. And nursing a sense of disappointment because Everton failed to take ny points off Manchester City, who now look set to beat my Liverpool for the English Premier League title that had Liverpool’s name on it for so much of this season. Sigh. But we’ve made our original target of a top-four finish to make next season’s Champion’s League, which is the top club competition in Europe, so we’re still good.

    Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. That pattern doesn’t have anything on it that even vaguely resembles Arabic script, let alone the names of Allah or the Prophet, so you should be safe on that score. And there are no depictions of people or animals, so that too is good. Also, geometric patterns like it have a long tradition in the Muslim world, so I’d guess that there’s no reason anyone would find it offensive.

  97. 97.

    Jack Wilson

    May 3, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Isn’t that a young Mary Fallin on the left?

  98. 98.

    Bob In Portland

    May 3, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    This quote:

    And a giant middle finger to the “peace” community in the West, these apologists of the war machine, and especially liberals and elements of the First-World Left who are always the last to see that their purist intellectual detachment is always — always — suspiciously close to empire’s agenda, who watch (and cheerlead!) while the U.S. and its proxies slaughter innocents and thwart the will of the people from Afghanistan to Zaporizhia, a city in southeastern Ukraine.

    The United Nations has exposed itself as an eager and unabashed tool of western supremacy and apologist for the crimes of empire. It will be discarded along with the other detritus of the old world as UNjust, UNequal and UNwilling to break the yoke of the western paradigm. I think the organization is much worse than useless.

    I actually think this conflict in Ukraine is the death knell for the UN, along with the IMF/EU/NATO and all the other western organizations which act in concert to try to force billions of people to believe that 2 + 2 = 5. They are the problem, and they have no solutions. As it should be — for as Eduardo Galleano gently reminded us, “it would be strange if the remedy should come from the United States, the same place which brings us the disease.”

    Amid the lies and distortions of a bought-and-sold press and a government propaganda machine, we can still cut through the bullshit and see the hustlers for what they are: pitchmen of a war machine hell bent on selling us more death and destruction. We all have it within us to refuse the pitch.

    Maybe six months from now or five years from now, or however long it takes for people here to notice that America threw a coup in Ukraine in order to get their hands on energy and the profits derived from controlling energy sources and lots of people died for someone else’s riches, then maybe someone here will give a nod to me. Probably not, though, because the way propaganda works is that whoever points out the obvious gets a lot of grief for shit-disturbing.

    Denial has different levels. Some people actually believed that the US invaded Iraq because there were weapons of mass destruction and we invaded Afghanistan to catch Osama. Some people still believe that but there are fallback positions, like I knew there were no weapons of mass destruction but those stupid CIA/politicians/whatever didn’t know. Or, Sure, it was a scam for the oil but Saddam was a bad man, or, Well, we can’t be in Afghanistan because of Osama because he’s in Pakistan (or dead), but we’ve got to stop the poppies and the Taliban are bad.

    But after 12 years in Afghanistan, it’s a little too late. The time to understand about what’s happening now is now. It’s too late for Afghanistan. People are dead, trillions are gone and we didn’t even get the Afghans to mind themselves so we could build a pipeline. When you understand “The Treaty of Fort Hunt” or if you read Christopher Simpson’s BLOWBACK you begin to understand our nation’s 70-year relationship with the Ukrainian fascists in the name of anti-Communism. If you read Simpson’s THE SCIENCE OF COERCION you see the roots of our propaganda machine and why, say, the NY Times takes a day to report on the fascists in Odessa burning people alive. You may even begin to connect the dots back to the death squads our government supported in Latin America. You may see parallels between the lies of the Gulf of Tonkin and lies that got us into other wars.

    But maybe you won’t. You won’t read source material because it harshes your buzz.

    Ah, people are dying, but Putin is a bad man.

  99. 99.

    gian

    May 3, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    the coverup evidence is in the same safe deposit box as the whitey tape.
    and now with the sanctions against Russia he can’t get to the bank, it’s all a conspiracy

  100. 100.

    trollhattan

    May 3, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    @Bob In Portland:
    Hodor!

  101. 101.

    Linnaeus

    May 3, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    I don’t mean to be a downer, but I have to vent a little. I just listened to some of the tape of the guy in Minnesota who killed the two teenagers in his basement after lying in wait for them.

    It’s. horrible.

    I don’t even know what to say beyond that right now.

  102. 102.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    May 3, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    @mai naem: I suspect just the first page of One Thousand and One Nights in Arabic done in stone would be enough in Oklahoma.

  103. 103.

    Bob In Portland

    May 3, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    @trollhattan: Above or below 100?

  104. 104.

    Turner Hedenkoff

    May 3, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: True fact: Not only do Baptists not recognize intermediaries, they also refuse to recognize each other in liquor stores.

  105. 105.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    May 3, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    @Bob In Portland: Hodor!

    Just reading about it was enough to horrify me, so I couldn’t listen. I hope the Montana pair is convicted equally decisively (only 3+ hours is a very quick – thus decisive verdict for any homicide).

  106. 106.

    scav

    May 3, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Hodor Boy’s just weepy that no-one’s suggested erecting a copy of his bare-chested idol in the OK rotunda to fall down and worship before.

  107. 107.

    Mnemosyne

    May 3, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Thanks! I know it’s always hard to predict what crazy people are going to do and the mere fact that the mittens were made by someone in the US may end up being enough to cause trouble for some poor Afghan kid, but if I can avoid offense right from the get-go, I’d prefer to.

  108. 108.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 3, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    @Bob In Portland: TIMMEH!

  109. 109.

    WereBear

    May 3, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    @Linnaeus: I do blame the NRA, Faux News, and every wingnut that wanted to stir up gun owners for their own nefarious gain.

  110. 110.

    Heliopause

    May 3, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    @rea:

    Been there two or three times. I recommend it if you’re ever traveling on US 97 or Washington 14 or I-84 and need a quiet place with a nice view to stretch your legs. Plus it’s a little bit kitsch.

  111. 111.

    Bob In Portland

    May 3, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    …especially liberals and elements of the First-World Left who are always the last to see that their purist intellectual detachment is always — always — suspiciously close to empire’s agenda, who watch (and cheerlead!) while the U.S. and its proxies slaughter innocents and thwart the will of the people from Afghanistan to Zaporizhia, a city in southeastern Ukraine.

  112. 112.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    @Bob In Portland: You said that already. By the way, speaking of fascists, how is Rogozin doing these days?

  113. 113.

    Lurking Buffoon

    May 3, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    I never thought I would ever say these words but…. I have to give the Satanists credit. This is hilarious and awesome. There should also be a monument to Mjolnir so Norse Pagans can be covered too. Bonus trollery since Mjolnir has often been depicted as something of an upside-down cross. But since that really wouldn’t go with the neo-classical style, they should instead make a sculpture based on this painting: http://images.tate.org.uk/sites/default/files/styles/grid-normal-8-cols/public/images/fuseli_thor_mitgard_serpent_0.jpg

    @WereBear: My life is now complete.

  114. 114.

    Bob In Portland

    May 3, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: The last notable thing he said was something about US astronauts finding their own way back from the space station. From what little I know of him (and it is very little) he sounds like a Russian John McCain.

  115. 115.

    Jamey

    May 3, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Up on the hilltop where the vultures perch
    That’s where I’m gonna build my church.

  116. 116.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    @Bob In Portland: You should read up on your Russian fascists. Just sayin’.

  117. 117.

    Comrade Dread

    May 3, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    If I lived there, I’d raise funds for a statue to Bokononism.

  118. 118.

    Bob In Portland

    May 3, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: You should read up on your American fascists. Just saying. After all, it’s your tax dollars and the blood of fellow Americans that is feeding the war machine.

    Or maybe you just agree that you as a citizen have absolutely no power to even think about opposing a war. Back into your hive, worker. Er, consumer.

  119. 119.

    trollhattan

    May 3, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    @Lurking Buffoon:

    “You think you’re Thor, I’m thoe thor I can hardly pith!”

    —Old, old joke.

  120. 120.

    NotMax

    May 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    While no doubt structurally necessary, do find it a nice to touch to have a statue for placement at the Capitol designed to include someone with a stick up his butt.

  121. 121.

    rikyrah

    May 3, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    um, they couldnt do better by that statue? not the best looking one.

  122. 122.

    Lurking Canadian

    May 3, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    @rea: got there before I did. It seems pretty clear that the Templars’ real offense was being richer than anybody else, and having all sorts of wealth the king wanted.

    However, I think it’s at least plausible that they were up to some sort of heterodox worship. Probably didn’t involve pissing on the cross or kissing the buttocks of Baphomet or the rest of the shit they were tortured into confessing, but some kind of Islamic- and or Jewish- flavored version of Christianity would certainly make sense, given their origins, history and secretiveness.

  123. 123.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 3, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    @Lurking Canadian: Basically, they were a multinational corporation.

  124. 124.

    JGabriel

    May 3, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    mistermmix @ top:

    The Church of the FSM also wants to add a monument [to the state capital grounds in Oklahoma] .

    We’re over 120 comments in to this thread, and no one has shown any love for the Church of the Subgenius yet? Seriously?

    Sigh.

    Anyway, I think the CotS should really consider contracting out for a JR Dobbs statue to grace the capitol grounds in OK.

  125. 125.

    WaterGirl

    May 3, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    @JGabriel: What the heck is “CotS”?

  126. 126.

    tybee

    May 3, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    @JGabriel:

    we’re too slack.

  127. 127.

    rea

    May 3, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    The best pagan temple in the country is the Temple of Athena Parthenos in Nashville:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenon_(Nashville)

  128. 128.

    gene108

    May 3, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    @scav:

    Next up? Hinduism — a Shiva linga. Please.

    As Hinduism is the only major religion that is into idol worship, the choices of what idol to put are close to infinite.

  129. 129.

    Arclite

    May 3, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    That. Is. Fucking. AWESOME.

  130. 130.

    Ken

    May 3, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    From an article on the Baphomet statue:

    State Representative Paul Wesselhoft told a local news station in January. “The only reason why the Ten Commandments qualified,” he continued, “is because at the Capitol, what we do is we make laws.”

    So a monument is OK if it relates to something that Oklahoma lawmakers regularly do?

    Hmm. Still not seeing why a monument to absolute evil is ruled out.

  131. 131.

    calling all toasters

    May 4, 2014 at 3:06 am

    Love the statue, guys, but could you arrange the fingers in the “hook ’em Horns” configuration? Just to help clue in the Oklahomans who can’t quite figure out they’re being pissed on.

  132. 132.

    Matt McIrvin

    May 4, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Yeah, the Baphomet thing was basically medieval hate literature. In the Song of Roland, the Muslims are portrayed as worshiping a sort of anti-Trinity of devils, and I think Baphomet was one of them.

    (And they’re cast as the enemy in a battle that, in the real world, was Charlemagne’s army getting attacked by Basques on the way home from fighting on behalf of one Muslim leader against another.)

  133. 133.

    Paul in KY

    May 5, 2014 at 10:55 am

    IMO. there’s no way they are going to place that statue wherever they want it placed. I admire them for trying & it should (I guess) have a place. The powers-that-be will stop putting the statues of anything there to stop that one.

    Maybe Oklahoma will surprise me.

  134. 134.

    Paul in KY

    May 5, 2014 at 10:58 am

    @scav: I would go with Shiva, myself.

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