Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

We still have time to mess this up!

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

“But what about the lurkers?”

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans in disarray!

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

People are complicated. Love is not.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

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Reader Interactions

97Comments

  5. 5.

    Tommy

    I have a client John that sells benefit plans. One of the benefits is pet care. Insurance for your pet. I was like you might want to promote that benefit. He said to me, they are just animals. I then said clearly you don’t have a pet do you? I do and most people I know do and we’d give our right hand to ensure they live a long life and are with us. He seemed confused by this. I was confused he was confused.

  7. 7.

    Tommy

    @rikyrah: I know John talks a lot about his pets. I could talk about mine for hours and hours. This is just my experience, but you bring a pet into your home. Another living thing. A thing with a personality and they have a distant personality, it is a game changer.

  10. 10.

    Tommy

    @Comrade Mary: Let just be honest, sleeping in the bed with him and his girlfriend. The few times I have house sat for my brother, his dog always comes into bed. I asked my brother when you and your wife are in bed, does your …. and I didn’t even get it out, yes Murphy sleeps with us. He jokes it is why they have a king sized bed.

  11. 11.

    Pogonip

    Look at that tail go!

    May they live happily ever after. And I hope he has some kids for that dog to play with.

  12. 12.

    Pogonip

    @Tommy: We had a betta who had a personality. He liked my son. When I walked up to the tank he didn’t pay much attention, unless it was feeding time, but if my son walked up to the tank George would always swim up to say Hi. Here’s a creature with a brain the size of a pollen grain, but he had likes and mehs.

  16. 16.

    Kristine

    @Tommy: Insurance helped me pay for King’s chemo. Because they paid “usual and customary” rates for procedures, I usually only recovered about 50% of what I paid for any given treatment, but it helped.

  17. 17.

    muddy

    My dogs are passed out in exhaustion. I had a friend over helping me clean, she brought her kids. These dogs don’t usually get kids. The kids don’t have their own dog, and were very taken with making the dogs go on and off the porch, and closing the gate behind them. Over and over and over the dogs loved it.

    I was reminded why my son was little and his dog was so well trained because he ordered the dog around constantly. Nice to get someone below you on the totem pole. The dog never tired of it. Get up, get down, get up etc.

  21. 21.

    Hungry Joe

    People post dog-reunion videos on Facebook, on blogs … and I watch them. I don’t mean I watch some of them — I mean I watch ALL of them. They’re a reminder of how happy my dog makes me, and how happy I make her. Then we have our own reunion, which, admittedly, doesn’t thrill her all that much because often as not she’s about six feet away and asleep.

    So: Reunion time. Excuse me for a minute.

  24. 24.

    crosspalms

    It’s funny, I thought of you when they showed this on the local (Chicago) news the other night. Great story – I teared up.

  25. 25.

    PurpleGirl

    @Tommy: When I pet sat for my friends in Peekskill, I sometimes slept in their bed (a California King). Sharing it with Hugo the Doberman was one thing, but if any of Grayhounds decided to join us it was very much more crowded. Hugo at least would pull his legs up to his chest or sleep in a loaf position. The Grayhounds slept with their legs straight out.

    I’m happy the Sgt. and the doggy are reunited. The doggy will have a much better retirement now. (And he deserves it.)

  27. 27.

    Long Tooth

    Off topic…

    WAY TO GO… the decent souls at Rutgers, who called out Rice for being the war criminal she is. That, in turn, led to the war criminal bowing out as the university’s commencement speaker. Net loss Rice– $35,000.

  28. 28.

    WereBear

    @Long Tooth: That, in turn, led to the war criminal bowing out as the university’s commencement speaker. Net loss Rice– $35,000.

    Holy Pricepoint, Batman. No wonder these people fail upwards.

  29. 29.

    Howard Beale IV

    Anybody watch the Munk Debate yesterday on the Surveillance State debate?

    Be it resolved state surveillance is a legitimate defence of our freedoms…

    For: Handley/Dershowitz
    Against, Greenwald/Ohanion

  30. 30.

    Suzanne

    Dawwww. All these stories of veterans being reunited with their dogs just warm my cold little heart.

  32. 32.

    MazeDancer

    Humans – so not worthy of dogs. This said by someone with 3 cats and no pups. With wet things also flecking the eyes from watching that vid.

    Yay, to that nice Vet getting his dog back!!!!

  33. 33.

    Calming Influence

    I’d just like to mention that the Mariners just added 8 runs in the 7th in Houston. Sweet.

  36. 36.

    Jay C

    I saw this on the network news yesterday, and thought it was one of the nicest pieces I’ve seen in a long time: you just KNOW that this is a “war story” with a happy ending: seeing that tail wagging furiously, you know this is a tale that will end well. For once.

  37. 37.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @mai naem:

    I don’t think I have access to it live. Plan to watch PBO once the links are up. Don’t really care about the rest of the coverage or speeches.

  38. 38.

    Calming Influence

    @Yatsuno: Yup. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s now 9-8 in the 8th, and the Astros have apparently stopped fucking around.

    We still have the Seahawks.

  44. 44.

    lamh36

    Haha. POTUS reading Fox News for filth.

    “@USATODAY: Obama: “Let’s face it FOX, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It’ll be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.””

  47. 47.

    cckids

    “Republicans are still refusing to extend unemployment benefits, and I understand their point. After all, if people want to get paid for not working, they should run for Congress like everyone else.”

  48. 48.

    lamh36

    President Obama has no more fuck to give!!!

    “@TheObamaDiary: President Obama: “I’m feeling sorry for Boehner, House Republicans are giving him a harder time than me…. orange really is the new black.””

  52. 52.

    Anya

    @Baud: Me too!

    I couldn’t believe half the jokes he told tonight. Just expect major right-wing poutrage.

  53. 53.

    Tommy

    @lamh36: Kind of happy you mentioned this. For most of my adult life I’ve never known a 5 day, 40 hour work week. Closer to seven days and like 60+. I am a white collar guy. The people I know are as well. We often have advance degrees. We’re interconnected and just work.

    I say this cause as you noted those in Congress work less then anybody I know. I’ve been meaning to set up on my Outlook calendar when Congress is in session, cause it seems more times then not they are not at FUCKING WORK.

    I am too lazy to Google it, but what are they making like $125,000/year and they go to work like 1 day out of ten?

  55. 55.

    Anya

    Joel Mchale is making them feel uncomfortable. I am not finding him funny though.

  57. 57.

    lamh36

    @Anya: this bit on Fox and Friends…killed the pic is what did it

    AJ (@AlisaJass)
    5/3/14, 9:31 PM
    “I got grief for Between Two Ferns…to be fair, I’m not the 1st person to tv between 2 potted plants” – Obama #WHCD pic.twitter.com/RxjbqX7TLp

    Download the official Twitter app here

    Sent from my iPad

  59. 59.

    lamh36

    Liberal Librarian @Lib_Librarian
    We have reached the “I’m gonna mock all you fuckers” phase of the Obama presidency.
    9:31 PM – 3 May 2014

  61. 61.

    cckids

    @Tommy: I know the rules for the House changed when the Republicans took over, they shortened the number of days worked; in 2014 it will be 113. Total.
    And they make $174,000.

    Link.

  62. 62.

    lamh36

    The high point, one of many. @ehatt493: “Hillary had to dodge a shoe at a press conference.” #WHCD pic.twitter.com/xseTHo05ww

    pic of Biden with an Adidas shoe…lol

  64. 64.

    lamh36

    he opened with a ding at CNN and MSNBC and Bundy…

    “I’m a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days” ~ Obama #WHCD #WHCD2014

    “@HowardKurtz: Obama#: MSNBC overwhelmed by dinner; not used to an audience this big #WHCA” watch the show. You can tweet later.

    Pres. Obama: “As a general rule, things don’t end well when you start your sentence with, let me tell you something I know about the Negro”

  67. 67.

    lamh36

    BTW, 6 years straight and no comedian has been able to follow Obama and slay the crowd. A poor McHale, he said Letterman told him to not take the job…he should have listened to Letterman

  69. 69.

    Suzanne

    Mr. Suzanne and I are both still sick. Though with the amount coming out at both ends, I guess I should say we are ICK. Ugh.

  73. 73.

    Honus

    One of the saddest things I ever read about the Vietnam war, I think it was in Dispatches, was about shooting the war dogs guys had worked with for years during the evacuation because they couldn’t take them out. Those dogs were shepherds which are some of the bravest and most loyal and protective dogs I’ve known.

  74. 74.

    lamh36

    @Baud: I think this was “I am no longer up for re-election” Obama and so it was more SHADE than funny haha, but still better than poor Joel McHale

  75. 75.

    Anya

    @Baud: McHail’s jokes will make POTUS seem like he’s Richard Pryor. Also, too, I think all the outrage will be directed at him. The audiance looks really angry at him.

  76. 76.

    WaterGirl

    Wow, this comedian is so bad that I finally turned it off.

    I thought Obama was good and I liked the bite in his jokes, but I thought the Kathleen Sebelius thing at the end was kind of lame. I like the idea of what he tried to do, but I thought it fell flat.

  80. 80.

    WaterGirl

    @Baud: I thought the technical difficulties during the Sebelius thing were part of the bit – technical problems like the ACA and only Kathleen could fix them.

  82. 82.

    Tommy

    @cckids: From time to time here I rant about my town, in a good way. We have a new $60M high school. My town of 8,700 has a fiber optics backbone. Every public building directly wired. Heck we have and are in the process of building more parks. The goal, openly said in a city council meeting, is that anybody ought to not have to walk more then 4 blocks in any direction and not encounter a park.

    Now when I mention this I don’t explain how it happened. It happened cause we hired a city manager. See no elected official in my town figured they could run it well. Not even their full time job. So we hired somebody that had experience running a government/city/town. Funny thing, next you know the town is run well.

    I say this cause I don’t even know if we need anybody in DC/Congress running things at this point.

  84. 84.

    Anya

    @lamh36: I agree. POTUS was throwing some serious shade.

    @WaterGirl: I thought he wanted to thank Sebelius one more time.

    @Baud: We can always count of them to whine about how mean spirited and un-presidential he was, blah, blah, blah..

  85. 85.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Gotta admit I have never heard of Joe McHale. And from what I heard tonight, I’m not surprised. It wasn’t the funniest I have ever heard from the POTUS, but he was orders of magnitude funnier than the headliner.

  87. 87.

    WaterGirl

    @lamh36: Your link didn’t work, but I googled. And now I have to disagree with what you said. Some of his stuff was a little sharp, but I didn’t think it reflected badly on him. I was kind of glad to see him skewer the idiots for all the idiotic stuff they do.

  89. 89.

    lamh36

    @WaterGirl: not the meaning of shade that you are referencing and that much of google referenced. sorry the link doesn’t work.

    also to be honest of you didn’t already know what “throwing shade” means, no link or urban slang dictionary definition will help to explain.

    but believe me when I tell POTUS was throwing epic shade Fox News & WHPC way. just with an an abundance of wit to conceal some of the bite

  90. 90.

    WaterGirl

    @Suzanne: You make an excellent point.

    Sorry you are all sick. Congratulations, by the way, on passing your final test and being an architect. I was way late to the thread when it happened, so my good wishes are a bit belated.

  91. 91.

    WaterGirl

    @lamh36: The urban dictionary defined throwing shade as:

    to talk trash about a friend or aquaintance, to publicly denounce or disrespect. When throwing shade it’s immediately obvious to on-lookers that the thrower, and not the throwee, is the bitcy, uncool one

    To me, that does not describe the president tonight.

  92. 92.

    lamh36

    @WaterGirl: please don’t use urban dictionary as way to define urban terms…it’s like Wikipedia, anyone can edit that shhh anyway they like.

    9x out of 10…urban dictionary is just bullshit.

    But let’s just move on from the subject of “shade”

  94. 94.

    WaterGirl

    @Anya: Thank you!

    My favorite thing about googling that phrase was the number of links I found where people were saying that other people were using “throwing shade” wrong!

  95. 95.

    Calming Influence

    @efgoldman: I’d just like to mention that the Mariners just added 8 runs in the 7th in Houston.
    Not impressed. Beating Houston is like beating your seven-year-old at chess.

    Yeah, 9-8. It turned into a bit of a silly slap-fest, or as the Seattle announcer called it, “…a softball score game.”

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