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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Afternoon Open Thread

Afternoon Open Thread

by Betty Cracker|  May 19, 20143:48 pm| 127 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, General Stupidity

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Via valued commenter SiubhanDuinne, possibly the worst political ad…ever? That’s overstating it. But it’s truly horrible.

This guy is running to succeed Georgia Rep. Paul “Evolution is a lie from the pit of hell” Broun.

Please feel free to submit links to even worse ads or discuss whatever.

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Previous Post: « Not all filed plans will be sold
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Reader Interactions

127Comments

  1. 1.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 19, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    The first few seconds do not convey ‘I like kids’. They convey ‘I like kids in a way that could get me arrested nudge nudge wink wink’. SO CREEPY.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    That ad makes me support unlimited corporate cash in politics, for the production value alone.

    And I love the manhandling of children at 2:19. Perfect.

  3. 3.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    My news highlights from the prior thread:

    *N.H. Police Commissioner Who Called Obama The N-Word Resigns
    *GOP Pollster Finds Sen. Shaheen Crushing Scott Brown In Matchup
    *British Cleric Is Convicted in Terror Trial
    *Judge Strikes Down Oregon Gay Marriage Ban

  4. 4.

    ulee

    May 19, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    I’ve set two live traps for my house mouse. The woman who waited on me in the hardware store tried to talk me out of buying live traps. She wanted me to buy a product called Jaws. As she was ringing me up she told me that if I caught the mouse I needed to drive it several miles away across a body of water. Otherwise this mouse will be back.

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    May 19, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    @Baud: Yes yes, but according to NewsMax,
    Roberts Reunites Supreme Court Conservatives
    Scientists Blast Obama’s Global Warming Claims

    News you can use. For something.

  6. 6.

    scav

    May 19, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    The War on Music has certainly advanced! Holy Shit. I’m also admiring the progress they’ve apparently made in admitting the abundantly vowelled to the Sacred Cause.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    May 19, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    Talk about the name fitting the man … I actually saw that punchng bag rebound and hit Mr. Slowinski in the face. Methinks he should just hang on to his day job, whatever it may be.

    Drat. Now I can’t get the campaign song out of my head: “Slowinski Slowinski Slowinski, Republicanfighterforme …”

  8. 8.

    Iowa Old Lady

    May 19, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    @ulee: There is never mouse. There are only mice. Kill them dead.

  9. 9.

    EriktheRed

    May 19, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    Watched it with the sound off.

    Looks like this guy’s a wingnut’s wingnut.

  10. 10.

    feebog

    May 19, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    Couldn’t he at least find someone in his district who could carry a tune? And someone else who knows what the word rhyme means? Jeebus, that was horrible.

  11. 11.

    Belafon

    May 19, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    @dmsilev: Only if you print it on really soft paper.

  12. 12.

    wasabi gasp

    May 19, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Slowinski – Apply directly to the forehead.
    Slowinski – Apply directly to the forehead.
    Slowinski – Apply directly to the forehead.

  13. 13.

    PhoenixRising

    May 19, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    OMG cute! In line in Oregon, we have the big sister…and the little sister wearing the stuff that was new 4 years ago, when the big sister fit into it. Pink roping boots. Nothing says ‘Oregon has marriage equality at last’ like a 2nd grader in pink roping boots waiting for the moms to get done filling out paperwork.

  14. 14.

    raven

    May 19, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    They gerrymandered this moron right into our district.

  15. 15.

    the Conster

    May 19, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    SO glad I live in Massachusetts. WTF.

  16. 16.

    Tokyokie

    May 19, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    This is what happens when people who tell you that you sing well were only trying to be nice. And I’m guessing he changed his name from Mildlyretardedinski.

  17. 17.

    raven

    May 19, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    @the Conster: Oh yea you have NO morons there, right? This fucking jackass is from Minnesota.

  18. 18.

    Tommy

    May 19, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    @ulee: You are a better person then I am. If I had a mouse in my house I’d expect my cat to hop to action. Bring the dead mouse to my feet as an offering she is a bad ass.

  19. 19.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    @dmsilev:

    I want to know

    What Really Happened to the Catholic Church

  20. 20.

    Belafon

    May 19, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    @raven: But do they have one so dense he bends light?

  21. 21.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    @raven:

    The quality of the carpetbaggers has really gone down, it seems.

  22. 22.

    Belafon

    May 19, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    @Tommy: When I was a kid we had a cat and a dog (medium sized dog). It was the dog that killed the mice.

  23. 23.

    ranchandsyrup

    May 19, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    @PhoenixRising: The bigots on the Oregon SSM Trail died of dysentery.

  24. 24.

    the Conster

    May 19, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    @raven:

    Plenty of morons here, but they’re typically Republican and don’t stand a chance of getting elected.

    ETA: just looked it up – the last Republicans elected to the House were elected 20 years ago.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    May 19, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    @ulee:
    I agree with Tommy. You said you don’t have a cat anymore. Get yourself down to the animal shelter and bring one (or two) home. The mice will decide to move to a safer neighbourhood.

  26. 26.

    ulee

    May 19, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    @Belafon: I have two dogs, terrier mixes, who are avid mousers in the field. But in this inside world of right angles they can’t get to it, much to their dismay.

  27. 27.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    From Slowinski to Nowinski in just under three minutes.

  28. 28.

    Iowa Old Lady

    May 19, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    @Amir Khalid: The problem with cats is they sometimes hide the little mouse bodies in places like between the couch cushions.

  29. 29.

    Tommy

    May 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    @Baud: I am an atheist. Raised a Methodist. But my family Catholic. Most weddings and funerals I spend in a Catholic church. The Priest knows all this about me. He always pulls me aside and we talk. Not about faith but about life.

  30. 30.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady:

    Or they leave little mouse livers in the place where you put your foot down when getting out of bed in the morning.

  31. 31.

    ulee

    May 19, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I would love to adopt a couple of cats but I just can’t afford it. Vet bills are prohibitive.

  32. 32.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    @Tommy:

    He always pulls me aside and we talk. Not about faith but about life.

    It’s a trap!

  33. 33.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    @ulee:

    Try the Sue Lowden approach and pay the vets with chickens nabbed by your mousers.

  34. 34.

    ellennelle

    May 19, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    @wasabi gasp:

    i wonder how many takes of that last scene they had to do before he managed it without the speed bag popping him in the face.

    GA; secede already!

  35. 35.

    Amir Khalid

    May 19, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady:
    I know. Mine at least brings them directly to me for my approval. She knows she’s going to get praise and skritches. At least I don’t get any hidden surprises.

  36. 36.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    @Baud:

    Definitely the Kobayashi Maru moment of non-faith.

  37. 37.

    Eric U.

    May 19, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    I got the live trap because my son made me do it and managed to snag a single mouse. We let the mouse go 1/4 mile down the road, no sign of any mice since then. i suspect they are not that territorial that they would return since there are plenty of other mouse-friendly locations between where we let it go and our house. I also got a batch of mouse crushing devices at the same time, never caught anything with them. I am partial to poisoning them, but that is fraught with dangers for pets.

  38. 38.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Unscratched itch to savor a big name cast in a really, really, really lousy movie?

    Later tonight (12:30 a.m. Eastern) on TCM, “The Extraordinary Seaman,” with David Niven, Faye Dunaway, Alan Alda, Mickey Rooney. Utter fail by director John (“The Manchurian Candidate”) Frankenheimer.

    Short review of this deplorable MGM turkey: The lion roars farts.

  39. 39.

    J.Ty

    May 19, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Maybe it’s just the Soviet anti-anxiety meds, but my limbic system seems to be learning that grad school is over and it doesn’t need to be in “blind panic” mode all the time. So that’s novel. Speaking of novels, I’m reading the Laundry series by Charles Stross, which is basically Douglas Adams stapled to H.P. Lovecraft, it’s delightful.

  40. 40.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Unscratched itch to savor a big name cast in a really, really, really lousy movie?

    Later tonight (12:30 a.m. Eastern) on TCM, “The Extraordinary Seaman,” with David Niven, Faye Dunaway, Alan Alda, Mickey Rooney. Utter fail by director John (“The Manchurian Candidate”) Frankenheimer.

    Short review of this deplorable MGM turkey: The lion roars farts.

    (Corrected for strike-out)

  41. 41.

    Tokyokie

    May 19, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    @Tommy: We had a mouse infestation at time when we had about six cats. We used the sticky pads to catch the little rodents, and showed them to cats, all of whom ran away in terror. Glad we haven’t used the cats to protect our grain stores.

  42. 42.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    @Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity):

    What are you doing? You can’t cross Star Wars and Star Trek references in the same thread. You trying to get us all killed?

  43. 43.

    J R in WV

    May 19, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    @Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity):

    They don’t like the bile in the gall bladder… we had a cat that excised JUST the gall bladder, left a tiny little green package waiting for you. When she caught more than one she would line them up like little catastrophe victims, all in a row. Sometimes 4 or 5 little mice all laid out. And a gall bladder or two.

    I could only listen/watch the first 60 seconds. I got it stopped at 1:05. The wurst! campaign ad without actual slurs.. as far as 1:05 anyway.

  44. 44.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    In other news, will Fruit Salad Jesus now become the new norm?

    Frankly amazing that the change is being considered, much less seriously.

  45. 45.

    srv

    May 19, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    What, Oregon was trying to ban teh gay too?

    What’s this country coming to.

  46. 46.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Via valued commenter SiubhanDuinne, possibly the worst political ad…ever? That’s overstating it.

    It has a long way to go to catch up with the Demon Sheep ad.

  47. 47.

    ? Martin

    May 19, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    @Eric U.: Mice aren’t territorial, but they are highly organizational. That mouse will be upset to be displaced from his home, will speak with the various other woodland creatures in the area and hatch an elaborate plot to drive you from your home and invade it for the contents of your pantry. You will of course try and retaliate with various store-bought and improvised defenses, but you will be outwitted and become a victim of your own efforts. At some point 3 of them will team up to drive your car.

    Always kill them on sight. You’ve been warned.

  48. 48.

    ranchandsyrup

    May 19, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    Do people feel the same way about SPOILER ALERTS that they do about TRIGGER WARNINGS?

  49. 49.

    sharl

    May 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    John Oliver took a look at Kentucky’s Senate race – which is shaping up to be really, really expensive – and after exploring the real campaign ads, decided to do a couple of his own and donate them to the respective campaigns, on the theory that in this situation, you have to hit rock bottom before you start climbing upward, and Oliver’s offering to halp.

    The entire video in this NSFW* post is a bit over 11-minutes. The fake commercials start late in the video (a bit after the 8:30 mark).

    *The NSFW bits start showing up just after the 7:50 mark.

  50. 50.

    J R in WV

    May 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    @J.Ty:

    I love his girlfriend’s violin! Wonderful spooky stories to read very late at night when everything is dead silent – or storming in the distance! I hope he does one every year the rest of his career, with other newer ideas in between.

    Lovecraftian in a better way than Lovecraft, we’re winning, but can’t win forever… fight the good fight, anyway!

  51. 51.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    That guy is utter slime.

    Also, the song has no tune, can’t dance to it.

    Shitty ad, designed to appeal to shitty people.

    So, at 2:18 he’s physically throwing The President and the former Secretary of State around? Is that what he’s doing?

  52. 52.

    Belafon

    May 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    @NotMax:

    The lion roars farts

    Leaving roars as the verb makes a great image.

  53. 53.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    @Roger Moore

    Or Huckabee’s “If you vote for Obama, you will irrevocably go straight to Hell” ad.

  54. 54.

    srv

    May 19, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    This has to be the Onion – there was not a single reference to Benghazi in that vidoe.

  55. 55.

    J.Ty

    May 19, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    @J R in WV: I love in the second one when SPOILERS SPOILERS

    He’s like “Wait, he mentioned that he’d given the consciousness of this arrogant, self-centered, would-be-world-conquering chthonian demigod a new vessel while its body recuperated. What around here could possibly contain such a… oh shit! It’s in the cat! SHOOT THE CAT”

  56. 56.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    @srv:

    Obama created the VA scandal to distract us from Benghazi!

  57. 57.

    Tommy

    May 19, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    @Baud: I don’t thank you think that. This guy got defrocked. He changed the benediction. Somebody tapes it and send it to the Bishop. He was told to change things. He refused to. I honestly think we had frank and honest conversations. I recall when my grandfather passed away. 93 years young. I told him how much I did not like organized religion. He bear hugged me and said he understood.

  58. 58.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    @ranchandsyrup:

    Do people feel the same way about SPOILER ALERTS that they do about TRIGGER WARNINGS?

    How about NSFW warnings?

  59. 59.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    @srv: Some people looking for chumps to make their house payments for them (like the sleazebag Lon Mabon) have been grifting the gullible fundigelicals in Oregon for decades, with very few successes to speak of. The current Oregon AG isn’t bothering to defend some Prop 8 like ban on gay marriage, as it’s obviously indefensible under the equal protection clause, but that isn’t stopping dirtbags like the National Organization for Marriage to get involved in it.

  60. 60.

    ranchandsyrup

    May 19, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    @Roger Moore: Indeed. Which are objectionable? Have encountered a few people that say that spoiler alerts are necessary because they like their show, consarnit, but trigger warnings are never needed and are the mark of the pussification of ‘Murica.

  61. 61.

    Woodrowfan

    May 19, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    I got about 3 seconds into the “song” and quit. No mangos are worth that..

  62. 62.

    Trollhattan

    May 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    @sharl:

    Screamingly funny, both, actually.

    What’s with the cutaways to the still shot of a piece of construction equipment in that ad? He take his prom date in that, or something? He’s a poster child for better dental heath, to be sure, “Puttin’ the gums back into gummint!”

  63. 63.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    @Tommy:

    No, I was just joking. Sounds like a good guy. Is he still a priest or an ex-priest?

  64. 64.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    @Roger Moore

    Always kind of wondered about what would be slapped with a NSFW warning for people who worked at the Chicken Ranch. Or for Penthouse.

  65. 65.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    @Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity): WIN!

  66. 66.

    Spinoza Is My Co-pilot

    May 19, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    @ulee:
    I get roof rats at my place here in the Valley of the Sun. They like to eat my ripe/ripening oranges.

    They also like to nest in my outdoor built-in barbecue under my ramada by the pool (in which I also have my outdoor stereo and TV equipment located). Eating my wires and leaving their excrement.

    So a couple years ago, when they first showed up, I had an exterminator set some traps by my citrus trees (the heavy-duty snap type). Killed and disposed of a couple, but then came home one day to find one still alive but crushed at its back legs. Not sure why I hadn’t realized beforehand that this was inevitable. Put it out of its misery, but also got rid of the rest of the traps.

    Was told the only sure-fire way to kill them with was with poison traps. Poison may be a for-sure killer, but it’s not quick, and it certainly isn’t painless. Couldn’t kill an animal that way.

    So now I seal up my barbecue during the winter (when the oranges are ripe and the rats are around – they disappear to who knows where after the oranges are gone) and lose a few dozen (really tasty) juice oranges each year. Worth it, to me, not to kill a mammal slowly and agonizingly, even a rat.

    Oh, and my three dogs chase the rats through the shrubbery sometimes, but never catch them, so that doesn’t work, either.

  67. 67.

    sparrow

    May 19, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: Get a cat. No, really. The females I’ve had are ruthless mice-catching machines. And as a bonus, they will kill them for you. Eventually.

  68. 68.

    MikeJ

    May 19, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    have been grifting the gullible fundigelicals in Oregon for decades, with no successes to speak of.

    This court ruling overturns the 2004 constitutional amendment banning marriage equality that passed by referendum.

    I wouldn’t say no success. Happily, it looks as if the tide is turning.

  69. 69.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    @dmsilev:

    News you can use. For something.

    Poisoning vermin.

  70. 70.

    J R in WV

    May 19, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    OMG!!! I’ve never seen that before, amazing!!! Hysterical!

    Very smooth how they showed Carly Fiorino’s name so gently, almost subliminal… Demon eyed sheep!

    What a funny waste of money! And of course Jerry Brown got their legislature to vote a super-majority for higher taxes as a way to afford the things CA voters thought the state needed!

    Carly obviously would not have done that, and CA wouldn’t have the things they needed.

    But at least there were production values in the Demon Sheep commerical.

  71. 71.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Funny twitter:

    Slade Sohmer ‏@SladeHV 1h
    UPDATED SCOREBOARD:
    States with marriage equality: 18
    States where cousins can marry: 25
    Getting closer!

  72. 72.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Poisoning vermin.

    Just makes the Republicans stronger and crazier, so it doesn’t seem to be doing the job.

  73. 73.

    Cassidy

    May 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    My cat of 13+ years sat in my lap for a while today; she’s not a lap cat. I got to pet her for a while. Talked to my mom after the gym and errands. That was nice.

  74. 74.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    ACK!

    Idiot alert!

    The movie I referenced above is on TCM at 6:30 p.m. Eastern today, not 12:30 a.m.

    No idea what I was thinking when typed the wrong time.

  75. 75.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    @MikeJ: Yeah, I edited that to be “few successes”, because they did get that one passed. But it’s going down, and the current AG is doing nothing to save it, which is exactly the right thing to do.

    The wingtards are of course screaming like banshees, but fuck them all.

  76. 76.

    Trollhattan

    May 19, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    @sparrow:

    We’ve got rats year-round. The neighborhood wires are their interstate and the various trees and gardens are their supermarket. An endless supply. Next-door they have two cats and a cat door. Said cats bring them inside and release them.

    Not good.

    Our dog has killed a couple–the second she didn’t get the chance to eat, as I happened to be there at the time. The first, once she was down to the bits she rubbed her neck in the gore and that’s the only way I knew something was up. Unnnnhh… Decided to take her to the vet as it was daytime and no dog should be catching a nocturnal critter under normal circumstances, so poison must have been involved. The dog was fine, luckily.

    I do not know where they get into our (tile) roof, but some winters we’ll have them take residence inside an interior wall and they have to be entering somewhere up there. I’m considering a drone to watch for them.

    Hate, hate, hate them.

  77. 77.

    g

    May 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    @ulee:

    Get the Rat Zapper.

  78. 78.

    Phylllis

    May 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    @Baud: I think that may be two little people wearing masks of….his opponents? Bums he’s throwing out of Washington? Or it could be two children with masks–that would not be beyond the realm of possibility in this ad.

  79. 79.

    Trollhattan

    May 19, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    @Baud:

    THAT’s funny.

  80. 80.

    cmorenc

    May 19, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Slowinski’s ad comes across as an attempted audition to be Steven Colbert’s replacement on Comedy Central. Viewed that way, it’s actually quite an impressive piece of performance art, worthy of some of Colbert’s best work. Was this created before Comedy Central announced that Larry Wilmore has been picked as the replacement for Colbert’s time slot? If Wilmore bombs out, I think we might have the next great candidate for that slot.

    Regardless of whether “Slowinski” is the guy’s real name or just his show name…it’s perfect for the job. UM…wait, they guy’s a for-real right-wing jerk and not just a brilliant pretend one? It’s so hard to tell the difference with a performance like that one.

  81. 81.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    @J R in WV:

    And of course Jerry Brown got their legislature to vote a super-majority for higher taxes as a way to afford the things CA voters thought the state needed!

    Actually he didn’t. He didn’t want to ask the Legislature to approve the tax increases because he thought they should be approved by the voters directly. At that time, there wasn’t yet a 2/3 Democratic majority in the Legislature, so the Republicans were able to prevent the Legislature from even putting it on the ballot. Instead, Brown had to do it the hard way and get enough signatures to qualify the tax increase as a ballot measure and then get 2/3 of the voters to approve it.

    But at least there were production values in the Demon Sheep commerical.

    I guess the videography was better, but the guy crawling around on all fours with a sheep skin on his back doesn’t scream “production values” to me.

  82. 82.

    Waynski

    May 19, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: We had a black cat named Maggie. She and I worked as a team. She would corner the mouse and I’d hit it over the head with a hammer. Gruesome, I know, but it was personal for both of us and remarkably effective. The mice were eating her food and crapping in her kibble. We lived in a studio at the time and whenever this would happen my wife and the male cat, Trotsky (he had a a little black beard), would jump up on the bed until it was over. I miss Maggie the cat. She was awesome. I miss Trotsky too, he was a real mensch, mouse coward though he was.

  83. 83.

    kdaug

    May 19, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    @Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity): The only way to win is not to play.

  84. 84.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    @cmorenc: Poe’s Law strikes again!

  85. 85.

    jonas

    May 19, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    @ulee: Pretty much true. My kids convinced me to buy (these rather ingenious) live traps because they didn’t want to kill a poor mouse. Spent the entire winter recapturing the same damn mouse every night, no matter how far away I released it (several blocks, across a major highway, in snow at one point).

  86. 86.

    J.Ty

    May 19, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    @kdaug: A strange game.

  87. 87.

    Bill Arnold

    May 19, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    @jonas:

    Spent the entire winter recapturing the same damn mouse every night,

    Did you mark them? My father did that with grey squirrels caught in a live trap; spray painted the tails with florescent paint. Don’t recall whether there were any returns.

  88. 88.

    SatanicPanic

    May 19, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    @Eric U.: Those little traps that you see in cartoon work, but you have to glue the cheese to the trap or they just swipe the cheese

  89. 89.

    nancydarling

    May 19, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    I love the part at the end where he says, “I’m Brian Slowinski and I wrote, sung (sic), and approved this message.”

  90. 90.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    @ulee: I would love to adopt a couple of cats but I just can’t afford it. Vet bills are prohibitive.

    When the perfect is the enemy of the good

  91. 91.

    ranchandsyrup

    May 19, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    AZ House Candidate: 99% of mass shooters are libtards democrats. Seems legit.

  92. 92.

    Schlemizel

    May 19, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    @Belafon: Rat terriers were created explicitly to kill mice. JRs do it naturally also. OTOH our cat has loves to chase & play with them but refuses to kill them – damn pacifist cat!

  93. 93.

    ulee

    May 19, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    @WereBear: I don’t have a good history with cats. Alice got eaten at my girlfriend’s country home. Zoe just vanished one day. Maya lives two blocks up. She decided she wanted to live elsewhere. I see her in the foyer when I walk my dogs. I’ll say, Maya, why? But she seems happy. I got tired of calling animal control everytime she disappeared.

  94. 94.

    Bobby B.

    May 19, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    I’m old enough to remember Black Oak Arkansas.

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne

    May 19, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Speaking of working cats, I’ve linked this article multiple times, but I love it so much, even if it is from 2007:

    To Dismay of Inspectors, Prowling Cats Keep Rodents on the Run at City Delis

    Short version: in NYC, a lot of small bodega and deli owners have decided that it’s safer to keep a cat on staff than spray poison all over their food.

  96. 96.

    Schlemizel

    May 19, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    @Tokyokie: They used those sticky things at NASA, the most horrific deaths ever. The little mice would gnaw their legs off trying to get free but just get stuck all over again. I hate those things.

    We get mice every fall an the snap trap are at least quick.

  97. 97.

    Iowa Old Lady

    May 19, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    @nancydarling: I didn’t listen to the end so I missed the part about him doing the singing. Holy crap. Has he no ears?

  98. 98.

    Schlemizel

    May 19, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    @Morzer :

    Our first cat was a great mouser but would not eat tail or legs. I would find 4 legs and a tail laid out as if they were right where they belonged.

    I hated waking u during the night to hear her crunching one down but always praised her for it.

  99. 99.

    Randy P

    May 19, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    @SatanicPanic: I use the plastic one called Jawz that was mentioned up at the top of the thread. Very quick, very effective.

    I started with the live traps and had a couple early successes. But then when we got a re-infestation, I put the trap out again and nothing happened. I’d check it every day, refreshing the bait (a dab of peanut butter) every once in awhile but finally decided after a couple of weeks that it wasn’t working, and I forgot about it.

    And then one day my wife made a gruesome discovery.

    Since the idea was to avoid cruelty and that was a horrible cruel death, I will not use those things anymore. The Jawz trap kills quickly and reliably. Better all around for both humans and mouses.

  100. 100.

    Schlemizel

    May 19, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    I need some information and I’m betting people here might have a clue.

    Why does the VA maintain their own hospitals and medical staff as the only means for healthcare delivery? WOuldn’t it make sense to have a medicare like program where they could go to non-VA doctors and hospitals for at least some of the care?

  101. 101.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    I don’t let my cats out and apparently mice don’t climb three flights of stairs. The only mouse I’ve seen was when Tristan caught one on the ground floor of the apartment house, brought it up, and let it loose while we had guests. (We’d left our door open for the breeze.)

    I left the door open and the next morning they were all, “where is it?” I told them I was glad they had lost track, it meant it had escaped.

  102. 102.

    ulee

    May 19, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    @Randy P: If my girlfriend finds out I killed this mouse without exhausting other possibilities first I’ll be sleeping on her couch until autumn.

  103. 103.

    WereBear

    May 19, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    @ulee: There’s also such a thing as those ultrasonic rodent repellers, but they might cause trouble for the doggies.

  104. 104.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 19, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Very late to this thread, but many thanks, Betty, for succumbing to my emailed pleas (please). Credit where it’s due: I found this, um, er, ah, campaign video over at Charlie Pierce’s place. Charlie’s invitation, or warning, or admonition, was: Gaze in awe and wonder.

    This has been a bitch of a day. I had obligations this morning that had me up at the, for me, thoroughly obnoxious hour of 5:30 a.m., on no sleep whatsoever. One of those things where you set the alarm and then find you’re completely unable to fall asleep FYVM because you’re so terrified you might sleep through the alarm. And the day got progressively annoying (I won’t go into details, though, as it would [a] be boring, and [b] sound like the worst kind of whining, and I’m already well along on that track).

    Tomorrow I need to be up even earlier, as I volunteered to be a poll-watcher for tomorrow’s primaries and need to be at some remote elementary school I’ve never heard of at 6:30, which for me means getting up at 4:30. So I really must get some sleep tonight or I’ll be a hazard on the roads.

  105. 105.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    @Baud:

    Baud, I am your father. Prepare to be assimilated.

  106. 106.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    @Schlemizel:

    That’s alright. I’ve forgiven u for waking me. Group hug now? Yes, yes?

  107. 107.

    Mnemosyne

    May 19, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    According to Mythbusters, a 20-minute nap will do wonders for your alertness if you have to stay up for 30 hours. You’ll still be cranky as hell, but it should help prevent an accident.

    Also, if you can set multiple alarms, that may help lull your brain to sleep. I usually set them about 10 minutes apart so that even if I sleep through/fall asleep after one, the second (or third) one will wake me back up.

  108. 108.

    cckids

    May 19, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    @ulee: Some rescue agencies have programs for senior cats, they have a very low adoption fee & they will take care of vet bills; just to help the older kittehs have homes.

    If you want to try again, you could check if there is such a program in your area.

  109. 109.

    Bob In Portland

    May 19, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    Marriage equality wins in Oregon.

  110. 110.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 19, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Thanks for this. I actually did set two different alarms for this morning, just a couple of minutes apart. Somehow didn’t do the trick, although I’ve used it successfully in the past.

    Alas, no chance for even a 20-minute nap today, and when I go to sleep (as I expect to do ANY TIME NOW), it will be for 9 or 10 hours.

    Either that, or I’ll see y’all on one of the night shift threads.

  111. 111.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 19, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    @Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity):

    You know, you COULD have thrown in a B5 reference, too. Something like “Baud, I am your father, prepare to be assimilated and nibbled by ducks.” Or, “Corps is mother, I am your father, prepare to be assimilated.”

  112. 112.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I cannot tell a lie. I have tried several times to watch B5 and been unable to get through more than about 30 minutes at a stretch.

  113. 113.

    Baud

    May 19, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I would have given bonus points for referencing Wormhole X-Treme!

  114. 114.

    NotMax

    May 19, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est

    I am your father; resistance to the Egyptian God of Chaos is futile.

  115. 115.

    SFAW

    May 19, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “Corps is mother, I am your father, prepare to be assimilated or EXTERMINATED! by Number Six (Helfer or McGoohan? Eh, why not both?) with help from the Creature from the Id.”

    Just trying to cover a few more (Moon)bases.

  116. 116.

    Bob

    May 19, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    The music isn’t half bad.

  117. 117.

    feebog

    May 19, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    Now that our Valencia oranges are ripe the tree rats have returned. We have squirrels all year round, and they are worse than the tree rats. When we moved in well over 35 years ago almost every tree had a coffee can wired up in it. It took me a while to figure out that they were bait containers. I use DeCon, just open the box, and set it in the middle of the can. Only the rats take the bait, squirrels we just have to live with since our three legged huskie died.

  118. 118.

    Schlemizel

    May 19, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    @Morzer :

    More like “Whos a good cat? You’re a good cat! yes, you are the queen of the mouse rippers. All hail the great and powerful Tomtegubben protector of the realm and scourge of all vermine”

  119. 119.

    Morzer (this is your final trigger warning, do not pass go if you have issues with depictions of Morzers engaging in Morzer-related activity)

    May 19, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    @Schlemizel:

    *blinks* So, does that make us an item? Or are you just sweet-talking me?

  120. 120.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    @SFAW:

    Just trying to cover a few more (Moon)bases.

    Take off and nuke it from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.

  121. 121.

    ThresherK

    May 19, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    @Tommy: I thought the gesture mean not “I’m a badass”, but “you poor hairless, clawless, toothless, helpless creature, here is a dead one you can play with until you learn to hunt yourself”.

  122. 122.

    Roger Moore

    May 19, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    @ThresherK:
    I think he was bragging about the prowess of his cat, not saying she did it to prove her prowess. In any case, I think cats bring us their prey because we’ve been selectively breeding them to do just that. Cats that let their humans know about all the animals they killed were more likely to be seen as badass vermin exterminators than ones who hid what they were doing, so we’ve accidentally bred ones who like to present us with proof of their success.

  123. 123.

    rikyrah

    May 19, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    Spending On Negative Obamacare Ads Outpaced Positive Ones Significantly, Study Shows

    | by
    CARLA K. JOHNSON

    Posted:
    05/16/2014 12:49 pm EDT

    A new analysis finds the nation’s health care overhaul deserves a
    place in advertising history as the focus of extraordinarily high
    spending on negative political TV ads that have gone largely unanswered by the law’s supporters.

    The report, released Friday by
    nonpartisan analysts Kantar Media CMAG, estimates that $445 million was spent on political TV ads mentioning the law since the enactment of the Affordable Care Act in 2010. Spending on negative ads outpaced positive ones by more than 15 to 1.

    Outside of Social Security and
    Medicare, “no other law has come close to these amounts, much less within such a short period of time,” said Elizabeth Wilner of Kantar Media. “It speaks to the intensity of the opposition among the ACA’s political critics” and their belief that the health care issue will benefit their party in this year’s elections, she said.

    As the November midterm elections approach, the picture looks much the same, Wilner said, although a few pro-Democratic ads are countering with messages supporting the health law and a few pro-Republican ads have gone from a flat-out call for repeal to a message of replacing the law with “free-market solutions.”

    In the 2014 congressional races, 85 percent of the anti-Obama ads were also anti-“Obamacare” ads, the analysis found. In some competitive races, 100 percent of the pro-Republican TV ads aimed at Democrats contained anti-health law messages.

  124. 124.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 19, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    After watching that Ad I dare any of you motherfuckers to make a joke about British people’s teeth again.

  125. 125.

    Mnemosyne

    May 19, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Maybe, but it seems to be more due to what Werebear and other cat people I’ve seen say: cats think of any other non-prey creatures in their life as cats, and treat them as cats. As far as anyone can tell, cats bring humans prey like they bring prey to their kittens. That’s why eventually they start bringing you prey that’s only half-dead — they’re trying to teach you to hunt the same way their mothers taught them.

  126. 126.

    SFAW

    May 19, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    After watching that Ad I dare any of you motherfuckers to make a joke about British people’s teeth again.

    Or what? You and some of your blokes will come over and gum us to death? Bring it.

  127. 127.

    SFAW

    May 19, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    That’s why eventually they start bringing you prey that’s only half-dead — they’re trying to teach you to hunt the same way their mothers taught them.

    Maybe that’s why our cats look at me, snort, and act like I’m the dumbest thing on two/four legs, because I’m a shitty mouser. (Although I’m Gray enough, now.)

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