Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Consistently wrong since 2002

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

You are here: Home / This Is What Going Insane Must Feel Like

This Is What Going Insane Must Feel Like

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It’s 2:15 in the morning and I am lying in bed looking at the ceiling unable to sleep because something is bothering me. Not world peace, starving people, politics, the nuclear clock. No. None of that.

What is keeping me awake is what exactly was the Swedish chef saying on the muppets? WTF did bork, bork, bork mean?

There are days when I feel like my whole existence is a parody of a Marc Maron podcast.

Reader Interactions

42Comments

  2. 2.

    DougJ

    It means he was predicting that Democrats would usher in a new era of partisanship by refusing to confirm the most esteemed Constitutional scholar of our era.

  5. 5.

    Fred

    Hej John-

    The Swedish Chef always sounds to me like he is saying, “Mork, mork, mork”. It translates to “Dark, dark dark.”

    On the morning show in Stockholm there used to be an old chef who did a cooking segment and was the spitting image of The Swedish Chef, hat and all. He even sounded kinda like him. But I never heard him say, “Mork mork.” but maybe I missed that recipe.

    Now you can go back to bed John.

    God natt,
    Your friend, Fred

  7. 7.

    srv

    It’s only understandable in the original Swedish.

    But then I could never understand Dylan except for this song.

  8. 8.

    J.Ty

    Parody of Swedish. It meant “bork bork bork.” Still does, actually–according to noted jurist Antonin Scalia, “Words have meaning. And their meaning doesn’t change.” One of the most hilariously inaccurate things ever said, but.

    It means “bork bork bork”, they’re funny noises.

    Other mister J.Ty had a “minor” cancer scare earlier today too, so let’s all flip off mortality for a second. He’s probably fine but.

  11. 11.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @srv:

    I like the song, but I really, really love the video. It gets so much from so little, and while it’s easier than easy to figure out how it was shot, it still amazes me.

  13. 13.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @srv:

    And before I clicked on your link, I figured it would be this one. For Doug, or something.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    There are days when I feel like my whole existence is a parody of a Marc Maron podcast.

    And the truth shall set you free.

    Perhaps it’s not really “bork” but “nork” – a subtle pseudo-Scandinavian homage to the character Norton Nork portrayed by the the late Sandy Becker on some of his multitudinous kids’ shows.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    @Arclite

    Well, if you’ve ever watched a Swedish film, the closing word on the screen is Slut. ([The] End in Swedish.)

  18. 18.

    Joel Hanes

    Damnit. Cole made me go read the Wikipedia entry.

    Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda) does the voice and the hands

    The Wikipedia entry cites alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork, as is only right and proper; this eventually produced alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb, and its renowned FAQ

    near the bottom:

    Bork, Bork, Bork! Mozilla Firefox add-on – Translate pages to Bork and bork (block) unwanted things.
    Google “Bork! Bork! Bork!” interface
    Svedeesh Chef Calculator iOS App

    Also

    In the German dubbed version of The Muppet Show, the Swedish Chef is Danish and his song is “Smørrebrød, Smørrebrød røm, pøm, pøm, pøm”. However, in the Swedish version, he is still “Swedish”.

  19. 19.

    Bruce K

    Now you’ve got me wondering what would come out if the archives of this site were run through an Encheferizer.

  21. 21.

    Rich (In Name Only) in Reno

    I can’t sleep either; brain won’t shut down for the night, and it’s all disjointed nonsense keeping me awake; a mix of woulda-coulda-shoulda moments and scenes and images from assorted art/literary projects that will never see the light of day. I tried reading a recently acquired copy of of Curt Riess’ “Underground Europe,” it’s a 1942 book on anti-Nazi resistance movements (I’m a small time book dealer and my apartment is full of used books,) but no go. I’m off to watch a Public Domain mystery movie on YouTube.

    I’ve got to work tomorrow (but it’s the 2-6 shift.)

  22. 22.

    raven

    You’d say I’m putting you on
    But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm
    You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
    You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane
    You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
    For a little peace of mind

  24. 24.

    Schlemizel

    @srv:
    How do you even discover something like that? I kept expecting John Cleese and and Terry Gilliam to pop out of the dancers or a giant foot slam down & crush them.

  25. 25.

    FridayNext

    As all true Muppet geeks know the Swedish Chef doesn’t speak Swedish, he speaks Mock Swedish. Which, isn’t really his native language, Mock Japanese is. I have no idea what “Børk” means in Mock Japanese.

  26. 26.

    HeartlandLiberal

    He was making music thinking of his favorite Icelandic singer Björk Guðmundsdóttir.

  27. 27.

    Keith G

    Well Cole, even in parody a Marc Maron podcast is at an elevated level of achievement.

    Be happy that on those days you don’t feel like your whole existence is a parody of a Glen Beck podcast.

    Speaking of podcasts (like Maron’s) that should be on most folk’s download list, Mike Pesca’s the Gist is a week daily podcast that drops in the late afternoon and is a news, views and culture wrap up. Here is Tuesday’s episode..

  33. 33.

    ET

    Since it was the Muppets I assume it was a lot more subversive than one would think.

  34. 34.

    maya

    The Svenska Chef was actively involved with the not-so subliminal promotion of a certain SCOTUS nominee.

  35. 35.

    someofparts

    I don’t believe that thinking about Muppets is ever a waste of time.

    Also, I’ve found that a little bowl of pasta and a glass of milk put me right to sleep every time, although your mileage may vary.

  36. 36.

    JoyceH

    One night, my middle of the night musings resulted in this – Peter Piper could NOT have picked a peck of pickled peppers! Oh, maybe he picked a peck of peppers and then pickled them. But peppers don’t grow pre-pickled.

  38. 38.

    Ramalama

    I actually did a wee bit of research on this a while back for @profblue. Jim Henson listened to Swedish language tapes in his car and came up with the pretend Swedish chef lingo. You know like Tolkein, only in felt and for broadcast. Apparently the Swedish chef is a source of irritation to a lot of actual Swedes in Sweden.

  39. 39.

    Suffern ACE

    @Ramalama: Yeah. I had a swede ask me if I thought Swedes really sounded like that. I said, no, but truth be told, after a few glasses of akvavit, they kind of do sound like that.

  40. 40.

    Ramalama

    @Suffern ACE: I’m not sure I actually heard Swedish spoken, though I’m named after a great aunt who came from Sweden. She was mostly deaf so she sounded off anyway. And I was a kid. And the Muppet Show eclipsed everything. In sum, akvavit, yes, but also Jewel generic iced tea or kool-aid.

  41. 41.

    kbuttle

    @JoyceH:

    It’s possible you’re conflating the nursery rhyme with the Run DMC song. It happens to the best of us.

  42. 42.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    [And, via here – http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/jbc/home/chef.html%5D

    Thees Is Vhet Gueeng Insune-a Moost Feel Leeke-a
    Pusted by Juhn (MCCERTHY) Cule-a et 2:38 em Mey 282014

    It’s 2:15 in zee murneeng und I em lyeeng in bed luukeeng et zee ceeeling uneble-a tu sleep becoose-a sumetheeng is buzeereeng me-a. Nut vurld peece-a, sterfeeng peuple-a, puleetics, zee noocleer cluck. Nu. Nune-a ooff thet. Bork Bork Bork!

    Vhet is keepeeng me-a eveke-a is vhet ixectly ves zee Svedeesh cheff seyeeng oon zee mooppets? VTF deed bork, bork, bork meun? Bork Bork Bork!

    Zeere-a ere-a deys vhee I feel leeke-a my vhule-a ixeestence-a is a perudy ooff a Merc Merun pudcest. Bork Bork Bork!

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