Meanwhile, a woman in Florida named Crystal Metheney was arrested and charged with firing a missile into a car.
Don’t ever change, Florida. BTW- could a legal argument be made that that name was a form of child abuse?
Please move somewhere sane, Betty. There are lots of tropical climates without killer flying attack frogs and, even worse, Floridians.
*** Update ***
Wait- can you think how awesome her trial would be if she invokes Florida’s Stand Your Ground laws? Beautimous!
Violet
That can’t be a real name.
Stan of the Sawgrass
Damn that’s cold John. And just when I was going to send you some mangoes.
Morzer
Coming from a West Virginian, that’s gotta sting.
max
@Violet: That can’t be a real name.
It’s a real name. And she was born in 1977, long before the drug term became popular.
I’m trying to figure out where the missile comes in.
max
[‘What was it? An RPG? Grenade launcher? Slingshot?’]
Hunter Gathers
Two Questions:
1 – How in the fuck does one acquire a missile?
2 – How much did it cost? I feel the need to declare war on the Moon. It mocks me.
Morzer
@max:
Could be an old-fashioned firework rocket – just light the touch paper and aim for the vehicle in question. $500 sounds a bit light for someone who blasted a Stinger at a car.
jl
I figure, if it was a real missile, that that could be her real name.
TaMara (BHF)
Ok, the missile questions are relevant, for sure. I, too, want to know how you acquire one.
But isn’t the real question, who gave this poor woman a stripper name?
beltane
Maybe Ms. Metheney is a Bruce Cockburn fan who is acting out her favorite song ‘If I Had a Rocket Launcher”.
raven
Could it be a LAW?
Avi
Florida’s level of technological advancement is such that a rock is considered a missile:
FlipYrWhig
Crystal Metheney is no heroin. No, wait, heroine. Ah, whatever, neither.
GxB
Pray, was the car carrying skittles and ice tea or was it playing that damned colored music too loud? SYG, and some little old bullet ain’t going to do the job against a Chrysler.
KG
@Hunter Gathers: second amendment remedies, bitches!
beltane
My homeroom teacher in 11th grade was named Mr. Meth. I wasn’t funny at the time because meth wasn’t a thing back then.
Morzer
@FlipYrWhig:
I bet she’s got her lawyer on speed dial.
Anoniminous
@Hunter Gathers:
Didn’t you fire Estes model rockets when you were a kid?
Higgs Boson's Mate
The definition of the word “missile,” suggests that the missile could have been anything from a bagel and a slingshot on up to a liquid fueled rocket. The location invokes Carl Hiaasen fantasies of finned and warheaded ordnance blowing up a car a la some 80’s TV show.
Ah, Florida.
ranchandsyrup
people bring all sorts of stuff back from deployments. *shrug*
Morzer
@ranchandsyrup:
Some people bring postcards, others bring rocket launchers. Diversity in action!
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
She was probably just throwing rocks at the car. Sorry to be a kill joy.
raven
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Or a javelin.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@raven: It is hard to throw a car.
GxB
There once was a blogger from Bethany
Who wrote about poor Crystal Metheney
When asked of her name
When she was arraigned
The cop said “Ya gotta be Effin’ me.”
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Anoniminous:
As someone severely old I did not fire anything as well controlled as an Estes rocket. I do remember collecting the powder from innumerable “Ladyfinger” firecrackers and compacting far too much of it into various rockets. That none of my fellow rocketeers or I were killed or maimed by our experiments is to this day miraculous to me.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@GxB:
Damn. Well done!
Baud
And by that, we mean, please change, quickly and drastically.
FlipYrWhig
@GxB: Excellent, but I bet it’s “meh THEE nee,” as in Pat Metheny or Mike Matheny.
GxB
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: [Gassho] I have my moments.
Higgs Boson's Mate
A minor announcement. I am building a teardrop trailer to tow behind beloved Soob. I will have it done by early Fall. My intention is to go on The Last Great Road Trip. I’d like to visit as many of ya’ll as I possibly can. This comment is to test the waters. I’ll comment again when I’m close to taking off.
Hunter Gathers
@Anoniminous: No. They don’t explode. I want the things that I send into sky to blow up in some manner. Which makes bottle rockets awesome, even if I can’t destroy that punk-ass Moon with them.
Bill Arnold
@Anoniminous:
Duct tape to a long straight stick (e.g. a dowel) and they made a wicked bottle rocket.
GxB
@FlipYrWhig: Killjoy… no Gassho for you.
(Though I do agree on the pronunciation being like Pat’s last name)
Higgs Boson's Mate
@GxB:
It was a an excellent piece of work. All the more impressive to me because my autism seems to prevent me from being able to write limericks. I’ve written theses and dissertations, short stories, a bad book and the lyrics for one Blues song. Limericks, no. That galls me because limericks are so compact and so deft.
Guess you can’t have it all. Shit!
Roger Moore
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
I propose that the trip should start and end with LA area meetups.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Roger Moore:
Good by me. The road trip is a prelude to finishing out my life volunteering at state and national parks. Seems like the right thing to do.
Anoniminous
Where amateur rocketry is today.
Anoniminous
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
I hear you. Been there, done that, still have all my fingers and limbs.
@Hunter Gathers:
You obviously need to step-up your game and get into liquid fueled rockets.
@Bill Arnold:
um, no thanks. As I said above, still have all my fingers and limbs and I’d like to keep it that way. ;-)
gelfling545
Her parents may not have made the connection & it just sounded good to them, similar to the case of a student I once had by the name of Brandy Alexander whose parents were very abstemious Baptists.
danimal
@GxB: POINTS!
Anoniminous
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
If you plan to drive through New Mexico let me know. My schedule is chaotic, never know when I have to be out of town on business.
Mandalay
I hope reporters give Bill de Blasio a hard time over this crap….
FlipYrWhig
@GxB: Pedantry is my hobby.
ETA: Beanie, meanie, greenie, genie, Seamus Heaney: the new limerick practically writes itself! (Some assembly required.)
raven
Jesus Tweety has Joe on and he continues to blabber about how great he was.
raven
dupe
shelley
Fucking missle, y’all. Florida is upping the ante.
Me, I’m a little tired of the news saturation of Cantor’s primary loss, and the constant use of the words, ‘shocking’ and ‘in disarray.’
CNN was probably quite upset at those turn of events last night. It might have almost interrupted their OJ Simpson wank-fest at 9pm.
? Martin
@Mandalay:
Um, do you think that deBlasio with the black wife supports that policy? I suspect merely becoming aware of the policy will be all that is needed in this particular case to have it properly taken care of.
Gravenstone
@Bill Arnold: Once upon a life, I decided to see if I could ignite one main stage engine from another (as opposed to the booster engines). Duct taped two “D” class engines together, light the fuse and hold tightly. First engine fires, goes through the delay then ejection charges and nothing happens. As I start to relax my grip, the second engine decides to fire … and shoots straight up my left arm and into my shoulder. There, it proceeds to spin around briefly, before I stepped back and it shot up the side of the building next to me. As I stood there panting in the aftermath of the adrenaline high, I felt something warm and looked down to see the shirt over my shoulder is smouldering. Quickly patted the fire out and checked for damage. I still have the wee scar there today. Damn fool things we do as kids.
PaulW
Don’t tell Betty to leave Florida! It’s gonna just leave me here… all alone… among the Rick “Medicare Fraud” Scott voters. Please… I don’t wanna be alone… sniff…
muddy
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Would you go so far as Vermont? I hope you do!
AxelFoley
@Violet:
Beat me to it.
Mike in NC
@Baud: What’s the latest estimate on when most of Florida will be under water?
Higgs Boson's Mate
@muddy:
The entire US is in play for me as is Canada.
? Martin
Unwinding GOP damage takes time:
Stronger gun database, funds for confiscation, and mandatory checks to determine if the presence of a gun should influence how police handle a person they are executing a welfare check on. I suspect the governor would pass this one.
Just a reminder that the whole country isn’t following Texas and Georgia and Florida.
satby
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: How cool! Come see us here in the Midwest, either Chicago or MI, Balloon-Juice peeps are both places. And you may want to check out Camp in my Garden (sorry, no linking on the cell) for places to camp on the journey. I’m listed in MI.
Joel Hanes
Anyone know what happened to Sadly No ?
Thlayli
Over on Twitter, Cole is accusing Bob Cesca of having Greenwald Derangement Syndrome.
Hal
Season 7 Rupaul’s Drag Race contestant Crystal Metheney. Has a nice ring to it. Now, sashay away; to jail.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Thlayli: On the “Why I Love Twitter” post, Greenwald is calling commenters anti-Muslim.
Rob in CT
Open thread, so…
Not that I post here a ton, but some of you may recall from various weight loss threads that I was doing it the “less carbs/more meat” way. But I hadn’t had a physical yet, so the jury was out on whether eating more bacon, eggs, steak and cheese and stuff was working out.
Da jury came back with an overwhelming YES. My cholesterol is way down (203 -> 156) and the ratio improved nicely too (good cholesterol up, bad way down). Trigylcerides and Glucose also way down. I got a glowing report, basically. The weight loss (27 pounds, starting at 180) utterly dwarfed whatever bad the extra red meat and stuff might be doing.
Peter VE
My final experiment with model rockets: Stage 1 C6-0 with four firecrackers glued around the perimeter; Stage 2 C6-5, with two M-80s worth of powder where the parachute would go. The firecracker fuses lit with the separation, so they snapped off about 100′ up. The payload went off at 500′, and definitely woke up the neighborhood. Take that, Ms Metheney!
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
I completely missed that thread! I’m so sad now.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Baud: Don’t be. Cole just popped in to rant a bit as well.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Yeah, but I hate being late to the party.
PsiFighter37
I was given a choice (that didn’t sound like much of a choice) to move to a different part of my group and do something I’ve never done before and work with people I’ve never worked with before, to cover for someone who’s leaving the firm in a few weeks.
Pretty much the perfect way to ruin the run-up to my wedding and my honeymoon (I would start full-time in this position when I get back from the honeymoon, and be splitting my time before it). Goddammit, I would like to take a few works off of work in peace without mentally shitting bricks the whole time.
Lovely way to spoil the day.
PaulW
Oh sh-t that was Polk County?! I didn’t even hear about that!
SiubhanDuinne
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Any chance you’ll be coming to the Southland? Specifically Jawja? I would be up for a get-together, and there are quite a few of us in this state — and several more, I think, in Tennessee and the Carolinas (not sure about Alabama or Mississippi these days). With sufficient notice, I expect we could get a nice group together. Do keep us all informed on your itinerary.
Planning long road trips is enormous fun — I’m still working on my own mid-Atlantic/New England drive for later this summer, although I’m beginning to think I’ll skip the Maritimes for now. Haven’t decided yet.
Poopyman
@Baud: I’m pretty sure that’s not the real GG, or else he’s just trolling. How else do you explain:
SiubhanDuinne
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
How are you with haiku?
ETA: Y’all have probably seen this — it’s making the rounds on FB and I daresay other places — but my new favorite haiku EVAH is the one about getting up in the morning:
No No No No No
No No No No No No No
No No No No No
Baud
@Poopyman:
I don’t read GG so wouldn’t recognize his writing style, but why would Cole allow someone to impersonate GG on his blog?
beltane
Glenn Greenwald says the comment section here is the most anti-Muslim on the internet. Does he actually read the comment section anywhere?
PaulW
You know, if y’all want to experience Florida Crazy first-hand, why not ask for a Meetup? It’s a bit lonely down here in Polk County with all the other Floridians with me…
beltane
@Baud: GG’s style is to use 100 words to say things which can better be said with 10 words.
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
Which he?
jl
@SiubhanDuinne:
” but my new favorite haiku EVAH is the one about getting up in the morning:
No No No No No
No No No No No No No
No No No No No ”
Haiku? I thought that was Noh.
SiubhanDuinne
@PaulW:
You’ve still got Mustang Bobby.
Violet
@PsiFighter37: I worked at a job where they laid off a bunch of people, including a woman who was on her honeymoon. She came back to no job. I’m not sure if they contacted her while she was on her honeymoon to fire her or not. That company sucked.
Sorry you’re dealing with all that. Hopefully it’ll work out better than you fear.
Poopyman
@beltane: Prolly not, since he spends most of his day saving the world with his superhuman outrage. I based my assumption it was a troll on the pretty lame (and easily refuted) statement I quoted, but now I’m not so sure ….
He still could be trolling, though.
chopper
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Not just anyone, the whole commentariat. We’re a ‘thing’ now!
Violet
@beltane: I loved that comment. I’m guessing GG doesn’t read comments anywhere else. Certainly not any wingnut blogs or Yahoo anything, YouTube, whatever.
Poopyman
@Violet:
I’m pretty sure that last sentence is redundant.
I’m back working at the company that laid me off a year ago as temporary/hourly, but at least my rate is about 150% my old salary to make up for complete lack of bennies.
Baud
@chopper:
We are Balloon Juice. Resistance is futile.
Violet
@Poopyman: Yeah, probably. It sucked in other ways too. Like most companies, it seems. I guess that makes me an anti-corporate soshulist.
Hill Dweller
McKay Coppins has a very punchable face.
Betty Cracker
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Come to Florida if you dare, but you might want to up-armor that teardrop first. You never know when Crystal Meth might take a potshot…
Baud
I just hope Amir Khalid doesn’t find out how much we hate Muslims.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Baud:
There ya go.
opiejeanne
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: What a cool idea, and I’ve seen those kits and have considered building one myself, except I like staying in hotels so even though I’d have fun while I was working on it it would be wasted on me. .
Come to Seattle! There are a bunch of us here and we’d love to meet you.
Botsplainer
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Did you get a partially complete one?
SiubhanDuinne
@jl:
Oh, so well played.
But you know? It works in various languages:
French: “Non non non non non….”
German: “Nein nein nein nein nein (usw)….”
Russian: “Nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet….”
ruemara
@Roger Moore: I second this, as it would give me a goal to travel.
beltane
@Violet: Or even the Guardian, where he is a frequent contributor.
Poopyman
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Those are pretty cool! And of course you’ll have to hit the DC area. For that, I’ll absolutely make it to the meetup.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Sigh. Too true.
Roger Moore
@SiubhanDuinne:
I’d suggest that haiku must be from a teabagger, but then I remembered the likelihood of any of them trying to write a haiku.
<pedant>BTW, that’s actually a senryu, not a haiku. Haiku are supposed to contain a seasonal reference and contain a cut word.</pedant>
opiejeanne
@gelfling545: There was a little boy with that name in our Sunday School at the Methodist church we attended, back in the 70s. Methodists aren’t supposed to drink, but some of us sort of forget that rule.
mainmata
@max: My guess is that the Metheney part is real (Pat Metheney – outstanding jazz guitarist?) but she probably changed her name to Crystal because…um…total Cracker. But it may be a coincidence. If so she is clearly milking it.
schrodinger's cat
@Baud: I was accused of being a Muslim lover when I dared to criticize Narendra Modi’s ascension while in India.
SiubhanDuinne
@Roger Moore:
I knew about the seasonal (or at least “Nature”) reference; did not know about cut word. But I still thought it was funny.
I love Balloon Juice pedants.
P.S. I see what you mean about Tea Baggers. It could equally be from Mitch McTurtle, or anyone among the obstructionist Republicans (but I repeat myself).
Baud
@schrodinger’s cat:
It really is the only logical explanation for your views.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Baud: She could just be a contrarian.
MsSKWEsq
@Violet: it IS her real name. I read in a news story that the reporter actually called the sheriff to verify her name!
SFAW
@Baud:
Why would Amir care? He’s Jewish. (“Amir Khalid” is just his pseudonym, his real name is Moshe Ben-David.)
SFAW
@beltane:
But you are now?
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I am just not a fan of godbotherers of any variety. I am sure Ceiling Cat shares my views.
Roger Moore
@schrodinger’s cat:
Of course he does, just as the Flying Spaghetti Monster shares the views of Pastafarians.
schrodinger's cat
@Roger Moore: FYI, Ceiling Cat is a she.
Baud
@schrodinger’s cat:
You are contrarian.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
FloridaMan has her picture. Along with this gem:
:-/
Cheers,
Scott.
SFAW
@PsiFighter37:
Is the new position something where, once you become proficient, you’ll be considered a more valuable “commodity”? Or is it a step back?
Will management cut you some slack for XX amount of time, to allow you to ramp up? In other words, will you be expected to be as proficient as the person leaving, the day you’re back from your honeymoon? (congrats, by the way)
If the answers to the main questions are “yes,” then it might end up being a good thing. [Some years ago, I was thrown into a similar situation – two-level-up boss asked me to take over a project, it was a technology I’d never worked on/with prior, ended up being a lot of fun. Except for the dickhead I was working with, who thought I was trying to take away his job or something. But outside of him, I had a great time.]
Of course, if your management is not cutting you any slack, then, yeah, it could suck. I’m hoping that’s not the case.
mainmata
Aside from the Cantor clamor, there has been a lot of pants wetting about Iraq. Yes, the GOP will blame Obama reflexively because they are out of their minds and unaware that the public not at all supports our further on the ground involvement (except that there is still a USAID assistance program there).
Anyway, ISIS is a bit like a poor man’s Rommel and his Afrika Tank Corps. Conquering large amounts of desert territory very quickly but not having enough people (or the right people) to hold the territory. Unlike Rommel, ISIS is a Sunni insurgency outfit that is taking over mainly Sunni-populated lands so they have a presumably more sympathetic population (Mao’s swimming with the fish). They’ve been around for at least 10 years by the way. However, they are also Al-Qaeda fanatics and so Salafists the most extreme version of Islam and this is not where the overwhelming share of Sunni Muslims are (even less so Shi’as or Zaidis, of course). Which is why they haven’t gotten any political traction at all over the years (arsehole factor).
So, a couple of conclusions: 1. Nuri al-Maliki is a useless Shi’a pol who has done nothing to unite the country and has tolerated corruption and sectarian divisive politics for more than 7 years. 2. This crazy disrupture could prompt Iran to intervene to aid al-Maliki, which could then prompt the Saudis to intervene (they actually have an armed forces), which could lead to civil war and a Yugoslavia-style meltdown. 3. Baghdad’s army will get its act together and attack ISIS rearguard since they are obviously way over-extended and eventually subdue them.
My prediction: (3) is quite unlikely based on the disastrous performance of the armed forces to date and their shaky capacity. (1) al-Maliki will lose all credibility and it is slightly possible a national coalition government will be formed maybe headed again by Iyad al-Alawi. (2) a real possibility in which case Iraq disintegrates. Kurdistan is already basically independent; it’s just a matter of sorting out Sunnistan and Shiastan.
At best, the US should offer to do what it has done in Israel-Palestine, i.e. provide mediating/facilitating services but absolutely no skin in this end game. This is the GoT in real life.
SiubhanDuinne
@schrodinger’s cat:
SHEling Cat.
schrodinger's cat
@SiubhanDuinne: Good one!
Scamp Dog
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: If you’re looking for a mid-continent stopping point, how about Denver? TaMara, the food goddess, is around here, as are a few others.
Villago Delenda Est
@beltane: Has he ever seen any of the wingtard sites?
If he’s trying to compete for most fucked up fucktard out there, he’s making a strong showing in that effort.
Gvg
I have lived in Florida nearly all my life. it actually is largely normal. we have a population of over 17 million and a small percentage is…unusual and makes funny news. the stupidest stories involve alcohol or drugs and I don’t think we are any thing special if you look around wherever you are. Crooked politicians are in everyone’s news too. racism now that we have problems with. It is bad in some areas, less so in cities and we went for Obama both times. we used to have good Democrats in office at the state level but the party seems to have fallen apart since Chiles died. still I think our projected demographic trends are democrat like most states really. our roads tend to be a bit better than states near us because of tourism. In spite of some good writers I just don’t think we are that kooky.
trollhattan
I dislike the niners, I dislike their coach, but damn if this isn’t hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDyVT9yhnTE
p.s. Well done, Jim. As grandad might have said, hubba-hubba.
Amir Khalid
@Baud:
I left a reply to Glenn Greenwald at the end of that thread: I’m not aware of any real anti-Muslim prejudice here. (The trolls don’t count, of course.) I don’t know if GG saw it.
Amir Khalid
@SFAW:
Gasp! I’ve been exposed!!
(No, not really.)
gnomedad
But it’s my constitutional right to carry a rocket launcher into McDonald’s.
muddy
@Amir Khalid: Clearly you are self-loathing to pal around with the vitriolic Islam hating jackals around here!
RSA
@Anoniminous:
A memory from college: My roommate had experience with Estes rockets. One year we thought it would be fun to run a string from the roof of one campus building to another, crossing the lower quad, and to shoot a rocket along it during the spring fair. We decided to do some experimentation at a local park, to see whether a rocket would run along a guide string.
My roommate attached the rocket to a sort of harness he’d rigged up, and we ran a string between two trees, through the top part of the harness. The rocket hung underneath, pointed at the farther tree. We counted down, and he lit the fuse. The rocket took off, almost immediately burned through the string, somehow flipped around, and headed right at us. We hit the ground very quickly. The rocket went who knows where.
We never did do the real stunt.
Steeplejack
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Cool! Looking forward to your stop in the D.C. area.
seaboogie
@Gvg: I lived in south FLA for 10 months, and it was the most surreal experience of my life. Mos def not a normal place – at all. The simple confluence of disparate incomers makes normal entirely unpossible.
John (MCCARTHY) Cole
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Shoot me an email and I will give you an address if you get to West by God Virginia.
John (MCCARTHY) Cole
@gelfling545: I dated a girl named Brandy in high school and her best friend’s name was Cheri and my mother dismissively referred to them as “Scotch and Soda.” In my mom’s defense, they were both really sweet but dumb as a sack of hammers. The first time Brandy came to my house she looked at a framed water color painting my sister had created, and brandy said “That’s really cool, is that real art?” and my mother said “No, it’s fake” and Brandy replied “Oh, ok.” She was really super hot but I knew at that point the relationship was doomed.