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You are here: Home / Sports / Cote d’Ivoire v Japan Open Thread

Cote d’Ivoire v Japan Open Thread

by Randinho|  June 14, 20148:50 pm| 82 Comments

This post is in: Sports

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82Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    June 14, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    Don’t know much about the futból (despite Randinho’s great threads), but this flowchart made me laugh.

  2. 2.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    This is refreshing after Italy/England: a game where my problem is that I’d like to root FOR both teams.

  3. 3.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Oddly, the chart gets me to US, then France. Even more oddly, those are the teams I would would take anyway.

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I am vaguely pro-Elephant.

  4. 4.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    “Do you consider international soccer an excuse to celebrate past military victories? Yes? USA”

    That’s so damn true

  5. 5.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Japan to win 2-0.

  6. 6.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    25 goals scored through seven games, four years ago it was nine

  7. 7.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I am, too, now that I’ve gotten a look at their kit. Anyone willing to appear on global television wearing that shade of orange is presumed awesome.

  8. 8.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    IC strength plays an early role

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): They say orange is the new black.

  10. 10.

    SiubhanDuinne

    June 14, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Oddly, the chart gets me to US, then France. Even more oddly, those are the teams I would would take anyway.

    Nothing odd about it. This chart is SCIENCE.

  11. 11.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Damn. We’re losing the satellite signal in the thunderstorm.

  12. 12.

    Alison

    June 14, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    I don’t know who to pull for here! Japan would be an upset, but I have a soft spot for Cote d’Ivoire.

    Incidentally…I always say Cote d’Ivoire instead of Ivory Coast because, I don’t know, I’m pretentious…but then obviously that name has some kind of colonial connotation. I wonder how residents of the country feel about it, and what name they prefer? And yes, I’m insufferable, sorry. Just like to think about things like this.

  13. 13.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    My 3-year old grand niece plays fiercer defense keeping me from her toys than IC does in defending

  14. 14.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    @Alison:

    Despite the Ivorian government’s request, the English translation “Ivory Coast” (sometimes “the Ivory Coast”) is still frequently used in English, by various media outlets and publications

    According to Wikipedia. It’s official language is French.

  15. 15.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Japan scores, and I saw a disturbing shot of some Japanese fans in the stands either wearing hazmat suits or doing some very weird cosplay.

  16. 16.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    Damn, Japan is hammering on the door. CIV better wake up and smell the [whatever beverage they drink for breakfast].

  17. 17.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): It’s the same reason I don’t say “Deutschland” or “Italia” I use the anglicized version

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    June 14, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    @Alison: I have a couple of former colleagues from Côte d’Ivoire, and I am the same as you: I always use the French name (because my friends, natives of the country, do) and I am rooting for them in this match.

  19. 19.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Okay, I’ve got a bit of a problem with that. It is a near-universal practice to refer to countries by their names in one’s own language. Spaniards refer to England as “Inglaterra,” and I haven’t heard of Japan demanding to be called “Nippon.”

  20. 20.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Woo hoo! Got the signal back!

  21. 21.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    If I were talking with friends or colleagues from there, I would also use “Côte d’Ivoire” out of politeness, but if I were writing something for publication I would use “Ivory Coast.”

  22. 22.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    @Steeplejack: I think most countries don’t care. They do. For whatever reason.

  23. 23.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Those are seals (hanko) as in stamps for documents.

  24. 24.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    @Morzer:

    Huh. What’s the soccer/team connection, if any?

  25. 25.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Beats me. I am enjoying the music – it sounds oddly like a steam-powered production line with trumpet flourishes.

  26. 26.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    @Morzer:

    Yeah, it does sound like that. I was wondering what was producing those trumpet-like blats. I would have thought all likely-looking instruments would have been suppressed.

  27. 27.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Stealth vuvuzelas, maybe? There’s probably an app for that.

  28. 28.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    I have to say, I am very impressed by the Japanese goalie.

  29. 29.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    I was hoping to see more overly dramatic flopping about and anguished expressions. Or do the fouling performances come in the later games?

  30. 30.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    @Garbo:

    Generally you want a traditional Italian or Argentinean team for drama, flopping, brutal fouls and impersonations of cripples robbed by heartless thugs.

  31. 31.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    @Morzer: Yep. An Italy vs. Argentina march would probably sweep the Oscars.

  32. 32.

    scav

    June 14, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    I either get kicked off the chart or I’m wandering down with the Cote d’Ivory (splitting the difference) or Ghana. I have to lie a bit to get to Belgium.

  33. 33.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    @scav:

    Think of it as a creative improvisation in midfield.

  34. 34.

    Alison

    June 14, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: That’s what i was looking for – what do people from there call it. Obviously they won’t all be the same, but I’ll defer to the anecdata we have and stick with the fancy French name :)

  35. 35.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    @Morzer:

    Stealth vuvuzelas, maybe?

    Exactly. I was thinking maybe four people each bring in an innocuous object, then the parts get fitted together like a sniper rifle to create a horn.

  36. 36.

    KG

    June 14, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: this one Is also useful

  37. 37.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Japan is looking not terrible. I love the Japanese. They’re adorably unique.

    CIV is what, 2 players? Drogba and Toure, and Drogba is out?

  38. 38.

    Joel

    June 14, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Hard to root for the Italians, but easy to root for Balotelli.

  39. 39.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    @? Martin:

    Kolo Toure as well as Yaya Toure. I guess we have to include Khal Drogba, if only to keep the Chelsea fans happy.

  40. 40.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    @scav: I get pretty directly to Belgium assuming I reject the US. My grandmother – the WWII nurse I’ve spoken of, was not liked by her parents. Not kidding about that in any way. In an act of rebellion she bought a car (in the 30s, in New York City) which was a black Ford. She named it ‘Satan’ and hung a little devil figurine from the rear mirror. Her parents and sister were impossibly Catholic – her sister went to church nearly every day of her life. Needless to say that didn’t help the relationship.

    So team nicknamed after Satan? I’m all over that. And I would like to support a team that can at least get out of the group.

    I’m still hopeful that the US will advance. There’s a non-zero probability that a meteor will hit Ronaldo in the next few days, and with Brazil at the equator that probability is slightly higher than usual.

  41. 41.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    @Morzer: Oh, right. I always forget about him. (Everton fan)

  42. 42.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Mismatched shoe colors. Meaningful or not?

  43. 43.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    The Man is on the pitch.

  44. 44.

    Violet

    June 14, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    I’m digging the CIV fans in the stands!

  45. 45.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    @Garbo:

    I’ve seen that on three teams so far, so I guess it must mean something.

    UPDATE: Apparently Puma is making their athletes wear said shoes.

    It’s good of the CIV to provide a free pitch-rolling service to Brazil.

  46. 46.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    @? Martin: I thought Cristiano Ronaldo was annoying before I went to China. Six weeks seeing him on every other billboard and every third TV commercial in Xi’an convinced that he is, in fact, the most irritating person on the planet.

    Well, either him or Football Spice; he was plastered all over the place, too.

  47. 47.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    I guess we need to count Bony after all.

  48. 48.

    Violet

    June 14, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Elephants!

  49. 49.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    I guess that counts as one of the greatest substitutions of all time, even if Drogba didn’t actually score either goal

  50. 50.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Wow. Japan has just unravelled here.

  51. 51.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Well, that’s soccer for you. Can the Japanese strike back?

  52. 52.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Quick one-two punch. Crunch time for Japan Nippon.

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    So… Um… Holy fuck.

  54. 54.

    Gin & Tonic

    June 14, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    Univision is calling it “Costa de Marfil”. That’s the only TV I get.

  55. 55.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    I missed why Drogba wasn’t starting. Can someone catch me up?

  56. 56.

    Gin & Tonic

    June 14, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I remember when you were going there, and envy the experience. Very interesting food in Xi’an.

  57. 57.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    He’s not fully fit, so they’ve been saving him for later in games.

  58. 58.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    It’s just ONE guy with the vuvuzela?!

  59. 59.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    @Morzer: Got it. It had seemed weird to for them not to have him on the pitch

  60. 60.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    @Garbo:

    According to the commentators, it doesn’t count as a vuvuzela. Why, they do not say.

  61. 61.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    @Morzer: I’m just surprised all that noise is coming from one instrument, whatever it’s called.

  62. 62.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    @Garbo:

    I believe the technical name for it is “John McCain”.

  63. 63.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    @Morzer: ha!

  64. 64.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    @Morzer: It was a POW?

  65. 65.

    Randy Paul

    June 14, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    @Steeplejack: I would never say that this year’s WC championship is going to be played in River of January.

  66. 66.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Marfil is “ivory” in Spanish (as you would expect).

  67. 67.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Apparently derived from the Arabic for.. shock, horror.. “elephant bone”.

  68. 68.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    Awesome. With Buffalo Wild Wings filling up for the UFC fight I volunteered to sit out on the patio so that they had another table to seat people. (It’s enclosed but for some reason they weren’t seating it tonight.) It’s got TVs so not only do I get to watch the World Cup, I don’t have to watch people trying to give each other brain damage. And for taking advantage of this opportunity, the manager gave me a free meal.

    This is 100% pure upside.

  69. 69.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Take the win and enjoy it.

  70. 70.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    I am not sure which surprised me more.. Drogba missing or Drogba not falling over in the penalty area.

  71. 71.

    Gin & Tonic

    June 14, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    @Steeplejack: I know. So this blog and other English-speakers say Cote d’Ivoire, but Univision says “Ivory Coast.”

  72. 72.

    Garbo

    June 14, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Mmmmm. Buffalo Wild Wings. Deep Fried Pickles.

  73. 73.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    How is jumping on top of someone at the top of the box not a foul?

  74. 74.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    June 14, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): They were both going for the ball is what I would guess.

  75. 75.

    Morzer

    June 14, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    CIV’s time-wasting is leaving a pretty sour taste.

  76. 76.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    @Randy Paul:

    That’s true, but you probably refer to the Russian capital as “Moscow,” not “Moskva,” and to the Italian cities as “Turin” and “Venice,” not “Torino” and “Venezia.” And London is still “Londres” in Spanish. The conventions were largely laid down hundreds of years ago, by European writers who “named” the places they wrote about or referred to in conversation. Other places, that they didn’t care about or possibly even know about, didn’t have their names transmogrified.

  77. 77.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    ESPN is using “Ivory Coast” in its graphics and announcers’ commentary.

  78. 78.

    Gin & Tonic

    June 14, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    @Steeplejack: OK, thanks.

  79. 79.

    raven

    June 14, 2014 at 11:03 pm

    Well, the play was good.

  80. 80.

    Steeplejack

    June 14, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    @raven:

    Were you able to see the end of the game before you had to bolt?

  81. 81.

    Diana

    June 15, 2014 at 12:02 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Brilliant. I live in the East Village of NYC, where the world cup is a big deal because every nationality has not merely its own bar but more than one, and I’ve shown this chart to at least two people (one Italian, one Columbian) who found it fascinating. Thanks for posting.

  82. 82.

    pseudonymous in nc

    June 15, 2014 at 12:36 am

    @Randy Paul:

    I would never say that this year’s WC championship is going to be played in River of January.

    True. But the govt of Côte d’Ivoire has asked nicely not to be called Ivory Coast by English-speaking governments (and especially not ‘the Ivory Coast’, with the ‘imperialist “the”‘) and most English-speaking governments are polite.

    If you want to see lots of people with too much time on their hands, the Wikipedia Talk page for the name of the page now called “Ivory Coast” is a prime example.

    Great substitution, great comeback. And I’m now footballed out.

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