Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Bark louder, little dog.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

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True Blood Open Thread

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It’s been a great b-day (#44, for the record), with World Cup Soccer and now the season premiere of True Blood. Christion, my fraternity boy I have been teaching how to cook is making me a steak dinner with potatoes au gratin, corn on the cob, and a tomato/cuke/sweet onion salad with oil and vinegar.

Piglets on my lap, AC is on, I made it another year, and I am surrounded by friends both in meat space and online.

Reader Interactions

133Comments

  3. 3.

    MazeDancer

    Happy Birthday, John! Sounds like all of your wishes have already come true. But if there are few more, may they blossom into happy reality in “meat space” soon!

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    You are a lucky man, John Cole. Happy birthday, and may you be forever surrounded by piglets and floofy kittehs.

  10. 10.

    JPL

    Happy Birthday John!
    When you are watching sports on TV, where are the animals? Just curious!

  11. 11.

    Mike in NC

    We just had about 20 neighbors over for my birthday/retirement party. Tomorrow I’ll be 60 and eligible for a juicy military pension plus medical benefits. No more working for clueless scumbag managers trying to screw over their hapless coworkers as they attempt to climb the corporate ladder. May they all die in a fire.

  13. 13.

    Poopyman

    So, you were born just about the time I was getting my driver’s license. Well, welcome to the quiet birthday years. Here’s to this one.

  14. 14.

    Svensker

    @Mike in NC:

    Happy birthday tomorrow!

    And happy BD to Senor Cole, who is an excellent egg, as eggs go. Many more happy ones to you, John!

  23. 23.

    hamletta

    Happy Birthday, John!

    My kitty doesn’t like being brushed so much; only a little. She’s old and cranky. I wish I understood the secret of the Furminator.

    I have this nice young lady from my new parish inviting me to various Tupperware-style parties. I managed to weasel out of the “Cosseted Cook” one, but now there’s a new one that involves wine.

    She’s expressed interest in my hair, though, so I feel a responsibility to introduce her to my hairdresser. Curly hair is a hard thing to deal with, and she ain’t got nobody.

  24. 24.

    ruemara

    Happy Birthday all. It looks like today was big day.

    I finished shooting at a local music festival and I’ve been trying to formulate a coherent social media plan and all the other little things since i have a marketing meeting with my boss, but I have so much anxiety about meeting with her, I feel more like calling in sick. At this stage, I may not be able to handle a very toxic work environment. I won’t make it to retirement in these here united states.

  25. 25.

    Lyrebird

    Happy happy!

    And that soccer match was painful, but I thought the captain & coach both showed a great attitude.

  26. 26.

    SixStringFanatic

    Happy Birthday, John! Glad it was a good one. Must be birthday season; my younger brother’s 40th was Friday and we had a nice dinner celebration today at Harry & Izzy’s, an awesome steak place in Indianapolis. Got him a bottle of Blanton’s for his birthday as we are both bourbon fans. I cannot express in words how happy I am that my brother is also my best friend and I’ve always felt just awful for people who don’t get along at all with their family members, but I understand that it happens. Makes me appreciate just how lucky he and I are.
    Hope you have many more of these occasions in your future; you’re a prince of a guy.
    Now I’m off to lose myself in Game of Thrones.

  30. 30.

    Mj_Oregon

    Congratulations on completing another trip around the sun! My husband just turned 65 on Thursday and is taking early retirement from his truck driving job. His last delivery will be on Tuesday and then he turns his tractor in at the terminal and hitches a ride down the freeway to the local truck stop where I’ll pick him up.

    May you enjoy many more full circle jaunts around our little star with all your friends – 4-footed and two. Blessings, John!

  33. 33.

    Schlemizel

    Its hilarious that you think you have friends online! Oh wait, thats me.

    hippo birdy two ewes JC. It really has been fun watching you grow online I hope the next 44 are everything you want them to be and many things that are delightful surprises.

  34. 34.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @hamletta:

    My kitty doesn’t like being brushed so much. . . . She’s expressed interest in my hair, though, so I feel a responsibility to introduce her to my hairdresser.

    I’m trying to get the hang of ellipses.

  36. 36.

    lamh36

    Ok, I’ve decided that I’m ready to go ahead and get a new car. I paid off my current vehicle (Hyundai Tuscon) over 2 years ago.

    When I bought this car way back in Jan 2006, I had just gotten my FEMA money and I just wanted a car. I had used a rental Tuscon and I like the drive and the ride so I went into Hyundai dealership and I had about $3000 down and that’s it. I didn’t research, I didnt’ think about rates and APR and such, I just wanted the car and I knew what I could afford monthly.

    This time, I want to do more due diligence. I’ve already research a loan with my former car loan company (since I have a good record with them) and I know my credit score (no need for exact number, just know it’s POOR!) and I expect to be pre-approved for about a little less than $25,000.

    I like having a “compact” SUV (“mid-size?). I’ve tried driving cars and I’ve noticed that I’ve experienced a lot of leg pain (I think it’s from being used to a car that I didn’t have to “bow down” to get in? To be honest, if I could get a car I would (less gas mileage and such) but thanks to the leg pain I mentioned, i’d prefer the room of an SUV.

    I’d be perfectly willing to trade-in my Tuscon for another SUV (I’ve priced it at about $3500), but I admit, I rather not trade it in for some small car that I’d hate.

    I”d prefer a new car, but I’d also go for a pre-owned vehicle in good quality.

    (And no way could I afford the car pictured below, though if I was a millionaire, I’d go for a luxury vehicle like Lexus or Mercedes, but ya got go with whatcha can afford…shrugs).

    Right now I’m looking at list of top SUVs. I’d like to have 3 SUVs in mind and 3 accompanying car in mind.

    So as a woman, going into a dealership alone, what should my attitude be. I already know the limitations of my credit score and finances, and I’d prefer to just get pas the “dealer small talk” and get right down to it once I decide. I know, the dealer has to make a sale, but ugh I totally don’t want to be bothered with all that. I suspect if I go into the dealership and just be brutally honest about my limited finances, that they will pawn me off to whoever???

  44. 44.

    SuperHrefna

    Happy Birthday! A new series of True Blood makes for a great celebration though I am disgusted that we got NO ERIC AT ALL. Why don’t the show runners understand that Eric > Bill? And I don’t for one minute believe what they are saying about Tara.

    I am really looking forward to that Leftovers series next week. Hope it doesn’t suck.

  45. 45.

    gbear

    @Mike in NC: Could you rub it in any harder? I’ve still got minimum four years (if the economy doesn’t ever crash) of working for clueless scumbag manager trying to screw over his hapless employees.

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne

    @ruemara:

    I’ve been trying to formulate a coherent social media plan and all the other little things since i have a marketing meeting with my boss, but I have so much anxiety about meeting with her, I feel more like calling in sick. At this stage, I may not be able to handle a very toxic work environment.

    Oh no! I was hoping the puppy and kitten-based workplace was going okay, but I guess it starts sucking as soon as you add humans to it. :-(

  47. 47.

    gbear

    @ruemara:

    I finished shooting at a local music festival and I’ve been trying to formulate a coherent social media plan

    I was kind of afraid to read anything after that…

  49. 49.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh36:

    If you want a SUV that isn’t going to send you to the poorhouse with gas mileage, I would look at a “mini SUV” like the Toyota RAV-4 or the Subaru Crosstrek. It looks like they may be within your budget as well.

    Also, if you belong to Costco, they can arrange for you to get the invoice price with no haggling, so it may be worth trying that. I got a surprisingly good interest rate despite my sucky credit rating (I think it was 4.75%), so it’s worth both shopping around for that and also asking what the dealership can do for you.

  50. 50.

    WaterGirl

    I just want to say Happy Birthday, Cole! And thank you for Balloon Juice!

    P.S. Where’s Shawn tonight?

  51. 51.

    SuperHrefna

    @lamh36: last time I bought a car I printed off the details and carfax ( and reviews!) of every car on the lot that I would be at all interested in, plus I brought along a really picky friend ( also female) to play bad cop. So when the dealer started oozing dealer slime I could hit him with facts while my friend could pick at the faults of all the cars and stop him from getting into his momentum. I ended up driving away with a car I love for a good price.

    So my advice is before you go into the dealer research everything they have listed on their website. If you go in with facts and figures and paperwork their slimy little lady routine doesn’t go so well. In the end I bought a car that had just been traded in and wasn’t listed online yet, but by that point in the proceedings the dealer had given up to the point that he let me print off the carfax from his desk…

  53. 53.

    the Conster

    Happy birthday John! Being content isn’t good for political blogging, but it’s good for the heart. Thanks for keeping this place open – it’s like Cheers.

  54. 54.

    SuperHrefna

    @Mnemosyne: A nice Outback will last forever and they are big and roomy! Or even a Forester. Both are on the small side for an SUV, but I think lamh36 might like them if she test drove them. Cheaper than a Crosstrek, too.

  55. 55.

    lamh36

    @Mnemosyne: The RAV4 is actually one of the SUV on the Kelley’s Blue Book list of top SUV under $25k.

    The other SUVs listed that I liked from prelim look only, Hyundai Santa Fe Sport (I actually do love my Tuscon and have had good relationship with Hyundai), Nissan Rogue, Mazda CX-5, and Honda CRV.

    Like I said, I’d actually love a car/sedan, but man, I really have had issues with cars being too low to ground. I swear, every time I come home from a vacation where I had a rental that wasn’t an SUV, I have had leg cramping issues. I thought I could just push the drivers seat back, to maybe get me some more leg room, but I realized that it’s the leg room, it is that I’m just too tall I guess. I swear the top of my head is like almost at the top of the car roof. I mean I’m not Shaq by any means, but man…it’s aggravating.

  56. 56.

    LAllen5589

    I read Balloon Juice several times each day. I was born June 22, 1952. I kept my Dad out of Korea. Same birthday as John Cole! Hoocudanode! BTW, I also read Slacktavist, which I was mildly surprised to see as a link. Two birthdays past a heart attack. Happy birthday to us! Best wishes.

  57. 57.

    lamh36

    @SuperHrefna: Ooh, yeah, I saw the Subaru Forester on that list too. I’ve never driven a Subaru and actually never known anyone who ever had one though.

    @SuperHrefna: That’s actually kinda what I plan to do. I may go along with my sister, who’s less of a hard ass than I am. She’ll be glad to chit chat and stuff. I just rather get in, get er done and get out, preferably with a great new car :-)

  59. 59.

    Joey Maloney

    Happy birthday to the blogmeister!

    Can we have a Nobody-Gives-A-Shit-About-The-World-Cup open thread?

  61. 61.

    klokanek

    Happy Birthday, John! Teaching someone to cook is a gift that keeps on giving, no? Hope you enjoyed True Blood! I also missed Erik and have my doubts about Tara’s death . . .

  62. 62.

    SuperHrefna

    @lamh36: I helped my mother buy a Sube last year (I drive a Prius – got mine 3yrs old,12k miles, $20K) We ended up choosing the Outback, but it’s such a close thing between it and the Forester. They are both gorgeous, sturdy and drive beautifully. Just go and test drive them and see what you think. Do a whole lot of test driving before you even think of going in to buy. Speaking of test driving have you ever tried a Prius? The seat is positioned so that you are high on the road. I’m tall too (5’11”) and I know what you mean about titchy cars.

  63. 63.

    Mike in NC

    @lamh36: My wife wanted to be done with her 12 year old Toyota Celica and decided to get a 2004 Honda CR-V. I had no intention of getting rid of my 1996 Saturn until I test drove the CR-V and decided we both needed to do it. Now 10 years later we still love them and I have no plans to get a new car until I absolutely have to.

  65. 65.

    gogol's wife

    @Joey Maloney:

    Good idea.

    We just watched an episode of Twelve O’Clock High guest-starring Peter Fonda on YouTube. TV was really good back then.

  66. 66.

    Beeb

    Happy birthday, JC. Happy birthday and happy retirement, Mike in NC.

    @lamh36: One of my favorite colleagues has a Subaru Forester he loves. Consumer Reports likes it too. Worth taking a look. Plus which, if you are by any chance an ASPCA Guardian, Subaru will give you a discount.

  67. 67.

    Mike in NC

    Best wishes to all of you wonderful cat and dog lovers. We’d be lost without our beautiful little monsters.

  70. 70.

    Violet

    @lamh36: We did this “What car should I get?” thing a few months ago when John Cole was trying to decide about a new Subaru? You might check back for those threads for some suggestions. Sounds like you’re not too far off what he was looking at initially.

    Go drive a bunch of cars to see what you like. Narrow it down and drive them again. Go by what you think you’ll like, what your friends and family like, and even suggestions from random people on the internet. Just drive them. Sounds like you can take your time so do so. Once you’ve driven several you’ll know what you like and don’t like.

  72. 72.

    JustRuss

    Happy B-day to Cole. I celebrated by taking my Special Olympics golf team to our regional tournament, followed by an hour of mountain biking and a bike trip downtown to fill the growler with Deschute’s latest over-hopped masterpiece. Which I’m now drinking.

  75. 75.

    Belafon

    Thought: You are not an expert if Wikipedia knows more about the subject than you do.

  77. 77.

    Keith G

    Happy Birthday, John. That clink you just heard was my glass of Moose Drool Brown Ale gently tapping my laptop.

    This is my first taste of Moose Drool and it’s not a bad session ale, though it is a bit lighter in taste than I though it might be.

  78. 78.

    PurpleGirl

    @lamh36: You do “know” someone who drives a Subaru. Our blog host had a number of posts about getting a new car. His car of choice — a Subaru. Go back, find the posts and the threads.

  81. 81.

    lamh36

    @PurpleGirl: Yeah, I remember that. It’s the reason why I am seriously giving the Subaru a glance over. I remember that thread and I’m definitey gonna look it up as soon as I can as a reference.

  82. 82.

    Gretchen

    @Belafon: @Keith G:
    Our local restaurant, the Blue Moose, used to sell their own beer called Moose Drool until they found out someone else was already using the name. I found it sort of an unappetizing name so I was glad they changed it.
    lamh36: Subaru’s all wheel drive is great if you live somewhere with winters. I have a Volvo XC which I love, but repairs are way too expensive, so I’m going to trade it in on a Subaru in a year or two. I work nights for a place whose bosses don’t think a blizzard is a good reason for not coming to work, so I need something that can get around in snow as well as the Volvo does. My husband bought a late-90’s Subaru from a friend for $3000 and has been very happy with it.

  84. 84.

    SuperHrefna

    @Gretchen: Yeah, the winter before last was what broke my mother’s lifelong habit of buying the smallest car possible. 54″ of snow is no joke. So as soon as we were dug out, off to test drive big Subarus we went. She still refers to her Outback as the Monster Truck but she loves it, as do I. If it wasn’t for the mileage thing it would have got one too. Plus it has the best reversing camera I have ever used – the image is right on the rear view mirror and it has lines to give you context as to how far away things are.

  85. 85.

    ruemara

    @Mnemosyne: Humans. Can’t live with them, can’t use operant conditioning and gentle lead collars without a safeword. I’m learning a lot and handling my work well considering everyone I was supposed to work with/be trained by quit a few weeks into things. However, skills with animals do not necessarily carry over to business items.

  86. 86.

    John (MCCARTHY) Cole

    @lamh36: I second the rec. for you looking at a Subaru Cross-trek. When I was shopping, I was taken aback by the lines and just loved the look of it, plus I knew it was AWD and would be Subaru solid. It was just too small for my fat ass, and I live in such a hilly area that the 2.0 engine was just not what I needed to drive the way I like to (I straighten the curves and accelerate through curves like I was taught in the various driving and defensive driving schools I have been to), and I needed a little bit more power.

    As a side note, a buddy of mine from undergrad just bought one, and he felt that the hybrid model of the Cross-Trek had better acceleration.

    If that car does not work for you, I was really impressed with the Honda CRV, but it was too small, too, and I really just like the feel of a wagon over an SUV, so I went with the older Outback.

  90. 90.

    MikeJ

    Wow, TCM is showing tres colours tonight, Thank you Shelly for showing them to me, even if I never got to nail you.

  95. 95.

    The Pale Scot

    Somewhat OT:

    I just started watching last weeks GOT episode, can anyone explain how Stannis Baratheon shows up on the other side of the ice wall with enough cavalry to overwhelm 100,000 barbarians? Does Stannis have carriers and an amphibious landing fleet? Logistics, it’s a thing.

    WTF? I scrubbed thru the last 2 previous episodes and there is not a clue, Just POOF! surprise!

    Well, maybe it’s explained later in the episode, but I have my doubts.

    And Happy B-day Big Guy.

  98. 98.

    Little Boots

    John, I know I am one of the most annoying posters, but I hope you had a very happy birthday.

    I do.

    I hope you are happy. you have one of the best sites on the intertubes.

    hope you are well.

  99. 99.

    Cain

    Happy Birthday John, (although ti is tomorrow now, so I guess belated) Glad you had a good one. You are 1 year younger than me. :)

    I’m 45, but apparently, I look ten years younger, so yay. Must be true, as I had a 20 something waitress hit on me when I was in europe last year. (it wasn’t overly friendly since she apparently tried to dance me and was trying to get her friend to introduce us.. wtf)

  104. 104.

    James E. Powell

    @The Pale Scot:

    I just started watching last weeks GOT episode, can anyone explain how Stannis Baratheon shows up on the other side of the ice wall with enough cavalry to overwhelm 100,000 barbarians?

    Stannis and Ser Davos convinced the Iron Bank to give them a ton of gold they used to get soldiers, horses, and all the gear, plus hire the ships to land them north of the wall. (Consult your handy map of Westeros)

    There are a lot of preposterous problems of logistics and reconnaissance that are overcome without much explanation, but that’s really all there is to it.

  105. 105.

    Little Boots

    johnnie,you don’t hate me, do you>’

    I know I have been so annoying, but you don’t hate me, do you?

  106. 106.

    gian

    @jurassicpork:

    I wish I could help.

    between the fuck public employees sentiment, politics and all after inflation I’ve sucked up a 15% drop in income. It’s not “lose your underwater house” problem yet, but it’s on the “can we afford food gas and still put anything for the kids college and retirement at the same time problem”
    the GOP austerity shit is policy because the government is a real equal opportunity employer.
    *I’ve had someone call me a racial slur for Italians and had my boss ask me to do extra work for the same guy, but I know the target group has darker skin than me.

  108. 108.

    John (MCCARTHY) Cole

    @Little Boots:

    john, everyone seems to love you. why is that?

    Because my life is simultaneously as good and as fucked up as everyone else, just I don’t give a shit and share the embarrassing stuff with everyone.

    And don’t confuse the terms “love” with “commiserate.”

  111. 111.

    The Pale Scot

    @James E. Powell: Thanks man, it was perplexing, I remember the Iron bank scene, the pay must really good to levy an army to go north where the picking are slim. In all the various Defender of Rome type games I’ve played shipping horses anywhere is silly expensive. Glad to see Tyrion whacking his dad. This episode was much better than the last one with all the ridiculous sword play, a couple of cohorts of legionnaires would have smoked both sides. The point beats the edge.

  115. 115.

    Radio One

    @The Pale Scot: if you look at the map, Stannis and his army most likely sailed from Braavos to the eastern shore north of the wall after getting re-enforcements from the Iron Bank. The wildlings 100,000 are obviously not all trained militia, most are presumably refugees. And we only know that Stannis took one wildling camp. Presumably there are other wilding camps and leaders not at the front, given their numbers.

  116. 116.

    mai naem

    Happy Birthday John!!! Glad you’re having a good birthday. Hope you have tons more of them.

  118. 118.

    kdaug

    @John (MCCARTHY) Cole:

    (I straighten the curves and accelerate through curves like I was taught in the various driving and defensive driving schools I have been to)

    Slow in, fast out
    Fast in, no out

  122. 122.

    Susanne

    Happy belated birthday John. I was off the grid for the most part yesterday, so I missed your birthday, but I didn’t want to let it pass without wishing you a happy, healthy 45th year.

  123. 123.

    Lisa

    Happy day after your birfday, John. Sounds like your life is a total 180 from where it was just a year ago. Hoping you have a happy, healthy year ahead!

  126. 126.

    satby

    @jurassicpork: wish I could have helped too, but I’m about 2 months away from the same situation. Laid off last December, unemployment ran out at the beginning of June. My retirement accounts will be empty by August, and so far the only job I’ve been offered is working at a Goodwill store… I took it. At 1/8 my former salary.

  128. 128.

    LAllen5589

    Stannis cut the head off the snake when he captured Mance. Without Mance the wildlings would fall apart as per Jon Snow’s original strategy. Also, Stannis could land south of the Wall, (better harbors?) and ride through the tunnel with the giant carcass removed. Here’s a thought, what if a dead giant came back as a Whitewalker!

  129. 129.

    Josie

    Happy belated birthday, John. I go to bed pretty early, so I never see your posts until the next morning. I hope you had a great day. 44 sounds so young.

  131. 131.

    J R in WV

    @lamh36:

    We recently got a VW Tiguan that we like a lot. We really need both high clearance and all wheel drive to visit friends and neighbors… sometimes to get home, too. It’s a little smaller than a Subaru Forester, and is recommended by Consumer Report.

    Our friends really like Subaru – but I find them to feel small and uncomfortable, even though they’re a lot larger than they used to be. We’ve been buying VWs since 1978 and find them to be very reliable, with rare exceptions.

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