I want Costa Rice to win and top the group. They’ve played brave, attractive soccer and I want them to reap the rewards they deserve. England would benefit from a defeat in that it might actually get them to question the gilded sham which is the Premier League.
I prefer the Italians on cultural grounds, plus I just can’t stand Luis the Sparkle-toothed Vampire. Andiamo, Italia!
2.
raven
That poor little Uruguayan girl in the middle of all those nutty Italiano’s!
3.
raven
The Uruguayan national anthem sounds like the William Tell Overture!
4.
catclub
Um, we already know Costa Rica goes through, just don’t know where. I am guessing Uruguay has woken up and beats Italy.
5.
MattR
Rooting for Uruguay. Kinda want to see Brazil-Chile and Uruguay-Colombia together in the top left quarter of the bracket for the knockout rounds.
6.
beltane
It’s funny. One of my Italian cousins is a big AC Milan fan. He usually posts multiple calcio related stories a day on FB. Since the World cup started it’s been crickets from him.
7.
raven
@beltane: Maybe he is as nervous as a calico crappin ground glass!
Did they ever get around to providing more than 100 parking spaces at the new 35,000-seat Estadio Nacional? Would be nice to get that done in time to host the U-17 women’s world championship this summer.
@burnspbesq: oh you heard snout that! Well the Estadio was a gift of the Chinese govt and it’s a beauty. But it seems there was a miscommunication when they built it about parking! Also it is built in a residential neighborhood and because of that whatever space our govt and the Chinese built is what we have!
21.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Watching these games I keep thinking that soccer badly needs a second referee on the pitch. There’s just too much space for one guy to cover and watch. There was all sorts of whining from traditionalists when hockey started using a second ref but it’s been a vast improvement and soccer has fewer issues with another body creating obstructions.
22.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@burnspbesq: A Tiki Taco bar sounds like a place that will sell me a ham and pineapple burrito.
They’ll probably still play the US at Saprissa. Why give up a great home-field advantage?
25.
Amir Khalid
Let’s just make it a quiet day for Group D, shall we? Unless inspiration should strike Daniel Sturridge or Luis Suarez.
26.
Face
Is England capable of scoring more than one goal in a game? I cannot think of a country that has a bigger gap between their team’s general reputation and their actual ability. They suck, full stop.
@Face: England is a joke. They’ve got Rooney and……and…..and……(crickets).
29.
Amir Khalid
@Face:
England has a bunch of world-class club players, but put them together and you get a mediocre national team. Plus, the national team has been poorly served over the past half-century by the national FA, not least in terms of manager selection. Listen to Woy Hodgson talk about how well England played in the two World Cup matches they’ve lost and you can hear the echoes of David Moyes at Manchester Untied*.
You’ve also got a major problem with the Premier League – only 1/4 of the regular first team players in it would be eligible for England selection. That limits your talent pool pretty seriously, compared to La Liga, Serie A, the Bundesliga etc.
32.
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: ps I’m impressed with your tico futbol knowledge. Do you know about Cartagines and their broken promise to the Virgin?
Just back from lunch. Catching up on the scores….Looks like zeros all around.
We’ve got good friends who are from Costa Rica and spent the first match of the cup at their house (partying really hard after their win). So I’m rooting for the Ticos all the way.
As for the other match, I still carry a grudge against the despicable Suarez for the Ghana elimination back in the last Cup. So any day in which Uruguay does poorly is a great day in my book.
Apparently, the ref thought Marchisio tickled the leg of his opponent with his studs. I didn’t see the first half and have no idea whether Marchisio had accumulated any previous, but on this action alone the card looked excessive.
42.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I think it was the shin rake with his cleat, but he was mid maradona turn at the time.
45.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@LeeM: I’ll have to have another look if I can get the replay to play on my computer.
46.
mali muso
blergh! I can’t watch Uruguay. Too much Suarez dislike. But the Tico/Brit mashup has not been all that exciting so far. Hoping for a goal from someone to liven it up.
47.
Amir Khalid
@SRW1:
I might just decide there is to be be no highlight today, capricious football deity that I am.
48.
mali muso
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I don’t have any good reasons to root for Italy in terms of futbol, but my grandparents both came over on the boat from Sicily, so I guess that’s good enough. Anyone but Uruguay.
The UK has four separate football federations, which are members of FIFA. The Olympic tournament is organized by IOC, which organizes itself by countries and thus GB represents the isles.
53.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@mali muso: In most of the individual sports federations, as opposed to the IOC, the various parts of Britain each have their own team. And in rugby, Wales is consistently one of the elite sides.
Cricket is an odd case, because they each have their own side, but the English are allowed to grab any player from the others that they want, including the Republic of Ireland.
54.
Punchy
So….who goes on if Italy and Uruguay end love-love?
Uruguay goes home, Italy creeps into the next round (to be eliminated if they continue playing like this).
56.
mali muso
Ah, got it. Thanks for the clarification. Seems a shame that the England squad is so perennially (quadrennially?) poor at the World Cup given the EPL and all that.
Cricket…now there is a sport I have never understood.
57.
MikeJ
Revenge of the vampire scouse.
58.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Jesus. Suarez fails to connect on a head butt and both players go down screaming. What the fuck?
59.
Amir Khalid
@Punchy:
Per the Beeb’s as-it-stands Group D table, Italy go through and Uruguay go home.
60.
raven
Ha, he fucking bit him!
61.
Onkel Fritze
Suarez just bit the Italian in the shoulder.
62.
SRW1
Jesus H Christ on a stick, SUAREZ WILL NEVER LEARN.
63.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Oops. Italy has a problem now.
64.
mali muso
awww, dammit.
65.
Onkel Fritze
There’s somewhat of a bad taste to that goal now.
66.
raven
@SRW1: Well, they didn’t do anything to him so just what was he supposed to learn?
Did he actually bite him? Or is the Italian just claiming that he bit him? I can’t tell at all from the replay. As I said, I thought it looked more like a failure on a head butt and maybe Suarez’s mouth hit him in the shoulder.
74.
ellie
I didn’t know the World Cup allowed biting your opponents.
Suarez has form when it comes to biting opponents. That’s not the limit of his “charms” either.
80.
Amir Khalid
Now Uruguay are 1-0 up. If it stays like this they go through, but if the disciplinary committee sees video confirming that Suarez bit that guy they might have to do without him.
It’s a stupid set-up, based only on pride and arrogance. ‘Our associations predate FIFA. We invented the game. You’re lucky that we finally decided to play in the World Cup beginning in 1950.’
Belgium doesn’t break itself down to Flemish and Walloon sides. Germany Doesn’t break itself down to Bavarian, Saxon, Hanoverian and Prussian sides.
85.
mali muso
@Morzer: This! Ever since his smug bragging about deliberately handballing the Ghana goal, I have despised him.
Suarez was sanctioned in Holland (10 games IIRC) and in the EPL (8 games IIRC). He can’t plead ignorance.
88.
dmsilev
When the goal was scored, I heard a loud “Oh no” from the next desk over.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Grad Student: “I bet my boyfriend that Italy would win this match, and that if they lost we could get married this summer, and I don’t want to get married this summer.”
Me: [back away slowly]
To complicate things, in almost every sport, outside the Olympics and the Commonwealth Games, there is an All-Ireland team, combining players from the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Soccer is the only sport that has a Northern Ireland team and a Republic of Ireland team.
@Patrick: I wouldn’t disagree. Is there precedent for a lifetime ban? Seems like he has so many instances of awful behavior, being banned and then doing it again. Clearly, the punishment is not having any effect on him reforming.
114.
HumboldtBlue
Suarez was just checking to see if the Chiellini was al dente.
Oh, and good riddance to the goddamn Italians, go home and take your fascist fan base with you. We Yanks and Brits beat your asses into dust in the 40s and don’t think we won’t do it again you fricking meatballs.
Missed the matches but just saw video of Super Mario’s foul. Not many guys can knee a standing person in the head. Brutal.
And also saw the video of Suarez. Not only does he bite the guy, but then dives trying to draw the foul. I agree, he needs to be sent home.
116.
Calouste
I was looking over the groups, and of the 13 European teams, 5 have already been eliminated and only 2 have qualified. Of the 6 that still have a chance, 3 have to win to qualify. It could well be that only four European teams (Holland, Belgium, Germany and France) make the last 16.
I am not aware of it. But it would laughable for the soccer authorities to give him yet another brief suspension. I took a quick look at several European newspaper’s websites and when they are talking about the bite rather than the game, I would say it’s a problem.
The only reason Undead Belgium will probably qualify is that their group has really been abysmally mediocre. I would bet that none of the teams in it would qualify from any of the tougher groups. Still, such is almost life.
119.
Amir Khalid
@mali muso:
A lifetime ban might be harsh. On second thought, Suarez’s repeated incidents of violent conduct against opponents justifies a half-season ban, I think, since his last ban for biting was 10 matches.
120.
Valdivia
Ugly win for Uruguay. I’d like to see Suarez banned. WTH with the biting?
It’s not too surprising. In World Cup history, European teams tend do well in Europe, while South American teams tend do well in South America. Home field advantage…
I’d say a yearlong ban would be fair. He’s learned nothing from previous bans – and it’s time to bring the hammer down. Ban him for a year and say that the next time he does this it’s a lifetime ban.
123.
burnspbesq
Assuming Suarez isn’t carrying any exotic diseases, the bite is a lot less serious than some of the shit Rafa Marquez has done over the years. In terms of potential to seriously injure an opposing player, it’s actually less serious than the knee-high, studs-up challenge that got Marchisio sent off.
It’s still pretty disgusting. He needs to be out for at least 15 competitive internationals, including the rest of the World Cup. If Uruguay goes out in the next round, the remainder of the suspension carries over to the next Copa America, and if need be to qualifying for 2018.
That would be quite something. I have seen a projection for the last sixteen, in I think Der Spiegel, in which twelve of the teams were from UEFA. TWELVE!
I would agree that a life time ban would be too harsh for a first offense. But in this case, there is a history of his behavior, followed by suspensions and then he comes back and does it again every time.
This is the World Cup and these guys are supposed to be role models for future generations of soccer players.
What are you going to do next time he bites, after your suggested half season ban? Another half season ban? And then what?
Can they afford not to? Depending on how quickly they depreciate his contract, he’s on their books at a value of around 20 million pounds. You don’t just write that off. And who’s going to take him off their hands at this point?
132.
Morzer
It’s going to be interesting to see what the Uruguayan team has to say about this on the record. The smart thing to do might be to admit Suarez’ guilt and announce that he’s being sent home regardless of what FIFA chooses to do.
Surely they had enough good sense to include a clause in his contract stating that he could be dismissed for behavior that brings the club into disrepute?
Was the punt along the lines of “Allegations by defeated team.. sour grapes.. Suarez’ mouth was attacked by Chiellini’s shoulder…”?
140.
mali muso
@Morzer: More like, “I hear nothing! I see nothing!” Oh and “I’m sure if there was such a thing, the ref would obviously have taken some action. No action by ref = nothing to see here folks!”
“Suarez has been a poor, toothless orphan all his life, as his father and dentist can tell you.”
142.
mali muso
@Morzer: “I’m shocked, SHOCKED, to find that [biting] is going on here!”
143.
Calouste
The Italian manager has resigned, according to the Guardian.
144.
Punchy
There’s already pretty graphic pics of the Italian’s shoulder, Vines and Jpegs of the bite itself, and riducule for for Saurez. I dont know how FIFA doesn’t bounce this shitbag from the WC. One cannot clearly chomp down on a guy’s shoulder and be allowed to keep playing, can he?
I guess it depends on how much and how quickly Team U can funnel the lucre into FIFA’s myriad Swiss accounts. Better be quick, too, b/c this shit is blowing up on the interwebs.
145.
Morzer
A rather nice German pun (yes, German humor!):
Robert Ide @ichgruessesie
“Wie beißt Du?” – ” #Suarez ”
Wie beißt Du?(“How do you bite?”) is a wordplay on Wie heißt Du?(“How are you called/What is your name?”)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I’ll bet they’ll chew this over, swallow their pride, and then have the FIFA mouthpiece spit out some toothless punishment like a 1st half suspension.
Suarez has already had 2 multi-game suspensions for biting, plus an 8 game ban for racially abusing another player.
150.
Uncle Cosmo
Six teams from South American, 5 qualified, none eliminated (ECU v FRA tomorrow).
Four teams from North/Central America, 2 qualified, 1 eliminated (USA v GER Thursday).
Twelve teams from Europe, 4 qualified, 4 eliminated (GRE v CIV today, SWI v HON tomorrow, POR v GHA & RUS v ALG Thursday).
Five teams from Africa, none qualified, 1 eliminated (CIV v GRE today, NIG v ARG tomorrow, GHA v POR & ALG v RUS Thursday).
Outside these regions only Iran and Korea are still alive, the latter a long-shot.
At least half of the qualifiers will be from the non-Eurocentric world (the 7 already qualified from the Western Hemisphere plus either Nigeria or Iran) & perhaps as many as 11 (Cote d’Ivoire, Algeria, Ghana).
Fifa’s disciplinary code sets a maximum ban of 24 matches or two years, but the longest ban in World Cup history was eight games for Italy’s Mauro Tassotti for breaking Spain’s Luis Enrique’s nose in 1994 with an elbow.
Chiellini’s injury from the bite was nowhere near as bad as a broken nose. But given that Suarez has previous, as they say in England, my suggestion of a half-season ban — 19 Premier League matches, plus any Uruguay matches between now and Christmas — seems about right to me.
152.
daveNYC
@burnspbesq: Actually, the human mouth is a cesspool of bacteria. If Suarez broke Chiellini’s skin with the bite, that thing is going to need antibiotics.
153.
WaterGirl
Don’t quit your day jobs, but you guys are cracking me up with all your biting puns.
And, needless to say, suspended for the rest of the World Cup.
155.
MCA1
@daveNYC: More important to me is that there is a categorical difference, aesthetically, philosophically, morally and otherwise, between coming in with your cleats up and f’ing BITING another human being. The former is overly aggressive, dangerous and possibly cynical. The latter is just straight up depraved. It’s shocking and disturbing in a way that a slide tackle isn’t, even if you might tear someone’s ACL or break their ankle.
Morzer
I want Costa Rice to win and top the group. They’ve played brave, attractive soccer and I want them to reap the rewards they deserve. England would benefit from a defeat in that it might actually get them to question the gilded sham which is the Premier League.
I prefer the Italians on cultural grounds, plus I just can’t stand Luis the Sparkle-toothed Vampire. Andiamo, Italia!
raven
That poor little Uruguayan girl in the middle of all those nutty Italiano’s!
raven
The Uruguayan national anthem sounds like the William Tell Overture!
catclub
Um, we already know Costa Rica goes through, just don’t know where. I am guessing Uruguay has woken up and beats Italy.
MattR
Rooting for Uruguay. Kinda want to see Brazil-Chile and Uruguay-Colombia together in the top left quarter of the bracket for the knockout rounds.
beltane
It’s funny. One of my Italian cousins is a big AC Milan fan. He usually posts multiple calcio related stories a day on FB. Since the World cup started it’s been crickets from him.
raven
@beltane: Maybe he is as nervous as a calico crappin ground glass!
Morzer
@beltane:
He’s probably in mourning for the career of Fabio Capello.
Valdivia
@Morzer:
Valdivia the Terrible thanks you!
Morzer
@Valdivia:
When are you de-cloaking as Valdivia The Terrible?
Valdivia The Terrible
@Morzer:
Now!
Valdivia
@Morzer:
Now! @Morzer: tried now the phone wouldn’t let me :(
Morzer
@Valdivia:
I guess you’ll just have to be a stealth Terrible.
burnspbesq
It’s possible that Costa Rica can handle England without the intercession of either Valdivia the Terrible or the Great and Powerful Amir.
SarahT
@catclub: Exactly why Costa Rica should give England a break and let them win (says my English husband…)
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: I’m thankful for the confidence you show for my team!
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Today is tico-taka. Does that mean that yesterday was taco-taka?
burnspbesq
@Valdivia:
Did they ever get around to providing more than 100 parking spaces at the new 35,000-seat Estadio Nacional? Would be nice to get that done in time to host the U-17 women’s world championship this summer.
burnspbesq
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
The Tiki Taco Bar is open. Try the carnitas.
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: oh you heard snout that! Well the Estadio was a gift of the Chinese govt and it’s a beauty. But it seems there was a miscommunication when they built it about parking! Also it is built in a residential neighborhood and because of that whatever space our govt and the Chinese built is what we have!
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Watching these games I keep thinking that soccer badly needs a second referee on the pitch. There’s just too much space for one guy to cover and watch. There was all sorts of whining from traditionalists when hockey started using a second ref but it’s been a vast improvement and soccer has fewer issues with another body creating obstructions.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@burnspbesq: A Tiki Taco bar sounds like a place that will sell me a ham and pineapple burrito.
Valdivia
And typing on my phone is killing my spelling.
burnspbesq
@Valdivia:
They’ll probably still play the US at Saprissa. Why give up a great home-field advantage?
Amir Khalid
Let’s just make it a quiet day for Group D, shall we? Unless inspiration should strike Daniel Sturridge or Luis Suarez.
Face
Is England capable of scoring more than one goal in a game? I cannot think of a country that has a bigger gap between their team’s general reputation and their actual ability. They suck, full stop.
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: I think they would.
Punchy
@Face: England is a joke. They’ve got Rooney and……and…..and……(crickets).
Amir Khalid
@Face:
England has a bunch of world-class club players, but put them together and you get a mediocre national team. Plus, the national team has been poorly served over the past half-century by the national FA, not least in terms of manager selection. Listen to Woy Hodgson talk about how well England played in the two World Cup matches they’ve lost and you can hear the echoes of David Moyes at Manchester Untied*.
*Typo, but one worth keeping.
Calouste
@Punchy:
Is that Wayne “One goal in three World Cups” Rooney you’re talking about, or do England have another Rooney?
Morzer
@Amir Khalid:
You’ve also got a major problem with the Premier League – only 1/4 of the regular first team players in it would be eligible for England selection. That limits your talent pool pretty seriously, compared to La Liga, Serie A, the Bundesliga etc.
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: ps I’m impressed with your tico futbol knowledge. Do you know about Cartagines and their broken promise to the Virgin?
Punchy
@Calouste: I see Deadspin already got there first…
SRW1
No goals so far. Anything else I didn’t miss?
mali muso
Just back from lunch. Catching up on the scores….Looks like zeros all around.
We’ve got good friends who are from Costa Rica and spent the first match of the cup at their house (partying really hard after their win). So I’m rooting for the Ticos all the way.
As for the other match, I still carry a grudge against the despicable Suarez for the Ghana elimination back in the last Cup. So any day in which Uruguay does poorly is a great day in my book.
Paul in KY
Vamanos Uraguayos!!
SRW1
@Amir Khalid:
You mean Cote d’Ivoire – Greece is gonna be the highlight of the day?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
What the hell did Marchiso do that warranted a red card? I didn’t see anything on the replay that looked that bad.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@mali muso: I agree, but my alternative is Italy and I don’t feel so good about that, either.
Amir Khalid
A red card for Italy, Maybe that will unjam the match. One goal for Suarez and Uruguay are through to the knockout stages.
SRW1
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Apparently, the ref thought Marchisio tickled the leg of his opponent with his studs. I didn’t see the first half and have no idea whether Marchisio had accumulated any previous, but on this action alone the card looked excessive.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Morzer:
The EPL players lead all scorers in this tournament so far. Go figure.
The UK would be best served to field a united team.
dedc79
Italy down to dieci (thank you, Google translate)
LeeM
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I think it was the shin rake with his cleat, but he was mid maradona turn at the time.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@LeeM: I’ll have to have another look if I can get the replay to play on my computer.
mali muso
blergh! I can’t watch Uruguay. Too much Suarez dislike. But the Tico/Brit mashup has not been all that exciting so far. Hoping for a goal from someone to liven it up.
Amir Khalid
@SRW1:
I might just decide there is to be be no highlight today, capricious football deity that I am.
mali muso
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I don’t have any good reasons to root for Italy in terms of futbol, but my grandparents both came over on the boat from Sicily, so I guess that’s good enough. Anyone but Uruguay.
SRW1
@Amir Khalid:
If you promise to make up for it on Thursday we’re cool.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Amir Khalid:
The gods must be crazy.
mali muso
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Not to be overly dense, but why don’t they field a united team? Don’t they play as such in the Olympics?
SRW1
@mali muso:
The UK has four separate football federations, which are members of FIFA. The Olympic tournament is organized by IOC, which organizes itself by countries and thus GB represents the isles.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@mali muso: In most of the individual sports federations, as opposed to the IOC, the various parts of Britain each have their own team. And in rugby, Wales is consistently one of the elite sides.
Cricket is an odd case, because they each have their own side, but the English are allowed to grab any player from the others that they want, including the Republic of Ireland.
Punchy
So….who goes on if Italy and Uruguay end love-love?
SRW1
@Punchy:
Uruguay goes home, Italy creeps into the next round (to be eliminated if they continue playing like this).
mali muso
Ah, got it. Thanks for the clarification. Seems a shame that the England squad is so perennially (quadrennially?) poor at the World Cup given the EPL and all that.
Cricket…now there is a sport I have never understood.
MikeJ
Revenge of the vampire scouse.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Jesus. Suarez fails to connect on a head butt and both players go down screaming. What the fuck?
Amir Khalid
@Punchy:
Per the Beeb’s as-it-stands Group D table, Italy go through and Uruguay go home.
raven
Ha, he fucking bit him!
Onkel Fritze
Suarez just bit the Italian in the shoulder.
SRW1
Jesus H Christ on a stick, SUAREZ WILL NEVER LEARN.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Oops. Italy has a problem now.
mali muso
awww, dammit.
Onkel Fritze
There’s somewhat of a bad taste to that goal now.
raven
@SRW1: Well, they didn’t do anything to him so just what was he supposed to learn?
Amir Khalid
@raven:
@Onkel Fritze:
That boy should play wearing a muzzle.
Stan Gable
@raven:
Chomp chomp chomp. What a psycho.
mali muso
So biting people doesn’t earn any color of card? Effing Suarez.
SRW1
@mali muso:
The EPL is one of the reasons why the English national team is so poor.
Onkel Fritze
Expect the Urus to make a meal of it now.
Violet
@Onkel Fritze: Bit him? WTF?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Did he actually bite him? Or is the Italian just claiming that he bit him? I can’t tell at all from the replay. As I said, I thought it looked more like a failure on a head butt and maybe Suarez’s mouth hit him in the shoulder.
ellie
I didn’t know the World Cup allowed biting your opponents.
Morzer
@Onkel Fritze:
This is why I despise Suarez, who ought to be banned from the rest of the world cup.
Onkel Fritze
Uruguay is having their cake and eating it too.
Stan Gable
@Onkel Fritze:
“No thanks, I already ate” — Luis Suarez
mali muso
@SRW1: Outsource all the talent globally, etc. yes? Winning!
Morzer
@Violet:
Suarez has form when it comes to biting opponents. That’s not the limit of his “charms” either.
Amir Khalid
Now Uruguay are 1-0 up. If it stays like this they go through, but if the disciplinary committee sees video confirming that Suarez bit that guy they might have to do without him.
SRW1
@mali muso:
This is the third time Suarez has done this. First while he was playing in Holland, then at the end of the previous season in the EPL.
I strongly suspect that there will be a sanction by FIFA even if the ref didn’t see it.
raven
@Amir Khalid: Ah, well that is something then.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Onkel Fritze: I’d ask if you were this funny in German, but no one is funny in German.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@mali muso: @SRW1:
It’s a stupid set-up, based only on pride and arrogance. ‘Our associations predate FIFA. We invented the game. You’re lucky that we finally decided to play in the World Cup beginning in 1950.’
Belgium doesn’t break itself down to Flemish and Walloon sides. Germany Doesn’t break itself down to Bavarian, Saxon, Hanoverian and Prussian sides.
mali muso
@Morzer: This! Ever since his smug bragging about deliberately handballing the Ghana goal, I have despised him.
Onkel Fritze
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Only if somebody gets hurt. It’s called ‘Schadenfreude’.
SRW1
@raven:
Suarez was sanctioned in Holland (10 games IIRC) and in the EPL (8 games IIRC). He can’t plead ignorance.
dmsilev
When the goal was scored, I heard a loud “Oh no” from the next desk over.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Grad Student: “I bet my boyfriend that Italy would win this match, and that if they lost we could get married this summer, and I don’t want to get married this summer.”
Me: [back away slowly]
Calouste
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
To complicate things, in almost every sport, outside the Olympics and the Commonwealth Games, there is an All-Ireland team, combining players from the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Soccer is the only sport that has a Northern Ireland team and a Republic of Ireland team.
raven
@SRW1: I’m gettin the picture.
Morzer
@dmsilev:
Maybe your grad student should try and offer best of three?
Gin & Tonic
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): One of my German friends will loudly and persistently proclaim “I am not German, I am Bavarian.”
dmsilev
@Morzer: She’s furiously typing away in some messaging app right now, trying to renegotiate the bet.
I am so not touching this situation with a ten foot pole.
Morzer
Well, a draw it is – and pretty much a fair outcome. England might claim to be slightly the better side, but it was maybe a 50.5%-49.5% edge, if that.
Good luck to the Ticos in the next round.
Morzer
@dmsilev:
I bet boyfriend is feeling joy at the sight of her suggesting that they should be patient a little longer.
Randy Paul aka Randinho
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Obviously you haven’t heard of Handkäse mit Musik. More here.
SRW1
Has a goalie ever scored at the WC, penalities apart?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Hopefully Colombia curb stomps a Suarezless Uruguay side.
mali muso
uggggggh, hate hate hate Uruguay. Here’s hoping they get a humiliating defeat in the next round. Blergh.
Onkel Fritze
This victory has wet their appetite for more.
Schlemizel
@dmsilev:
OY! There is a match made in
heavenNew Jerseyburnspbesq
Fava beans and chianti for the house, waiter.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Ah. Super slo mo makes it clear that I was wrong; Suarez did bite him. Good lord.
mali muso
Suarez needs to be banned from the rest of the tournament.
MikeJ
I think if they didn’t wear face masks we’d see more of that in American football.
Cacti
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
The back angle video didn’t leave much doubt. Clearly dipped his head down and put his mouth on Chiellini’s shoulder.
mali muso
@Onkel Fritze: ESPN is salivating over the drama.
Patrick
@mali muso:
How about a life time ban starting right now? He has a history pulling this crap.
catclub
@Gin & Tonic:
Southern by the Grace of God, anyone? TIDOS Confederates, met your Bavarian ( Beer Hall Putsch)
cousins.
Onkel Fritze
@mali muso: That game had some bite to it.
Morzer
FIFA have to ban Suarez for the rest of the tournament. It’s absolutely clear that he bit the guy – and this is anything but his first offence.
Onkel Fritze
@Morzer: FIFA has to chew over this decision.
mali muso
@Patrick: I wouldn’t disagree. Is there precedent for a lifetime ban? Seems like he has so many instances of awful behavior, being banned and then doing it again. Clearly, the punishment is not having any effect on him reforming.
HumboldtBlue
Suarez was just checking to see if the Chiellini was al dente.
Oh, and good riddance to the goddamn Italians, go home and take your fascist fan base with you. We Yanks and Brits beat your asses into dust in the 40s and don’t think we won’t do it again you fricking meatballs.
? Martin
Missed the matches but just saw video of Super Mario’s foul. Not many guys can knee a standing person in the head. Brutal.
And also saw the video of Suarez. Not only does he bite the guy, but then dives trying to draw the foul. I agree, he needs to be sent home.
Calouste
I was looking over the groups, and of the 13 European teams, 5 have already been eliminated and only 2 have qualified. Of the 6 that still have a chance, 3 have to win to qualify. It could well be that only four European teams (Holland, Belgium, Germany and France) make the last 16.
Patrick
@mali muso:
I am not aware of it. But it would laughable for the soccer authorities to give him yet another brief suspension. I took a quick look at several European newspaper’s websites and when they are talking about the bite rather than the game, I would say it’s a problem.
Morzer
@Calouste:
The only reason Undead Belgium will probably qualify is that their group has really been abysmally mediocre. I would bet that none of the teams in it would qualify from any of the tougher groups. Still, such is almost life.
Amir Khalid
@mali muso:
A lifetime ban might be harsh. On second thought, Suarez’s repeated incidents of violent conduct against opponents justifies a half-season ban, I think, since his last ban for biting was 10 matches.
Valdivia
Ugly win for Uruguay. I’d like to see Suarez banned. WTH with the biting?
Patrick
@Calouste:
It’s not too surprising. In World Cup history, European teams tend do well in Europe, while South American teams tend do well in South America. Home field advantage…
Morzer
@Amir Khalid:
I’d say a yearlong ban would be fair. He’s learned nothing from previous bans – and it’s time to bring the hammer down. Ban him for a year and say that the next time he does this it’s a lifetime ban.
burnspbesq
Assuming Suarez isn’t carrying any exotic diseases, the bite is a lot less serious than some of the shit Rafa Marquez has done over the years. In terms of potential to seriously injure an opposing player, it’s actually less serious than the knee-high, studs-up challenge that got Marchisio sent off.
It’s still pretty disgusting. He needs to be out for at least 15 competitive internationals, including the rest of the World Cup. If Uruguay goes out in the next round, the remainder of the suspension carries over to the next Copa America, and if need be to qualifying for 2018.
SRW1
@Calouste:
That would be quite something. I have seen a projection for the last sixteen, in I think Der Spiegel, in which twelve of the teams were from UEFA. TWELVE!
Cacti
@HumboldtBlue:
This.
I’d have more sympathy for Italy if they weren’t one of the dirtiest sides in the world.
Patrick
@Amir Khalid:
I would agree that a life time ban would be too harsh for a first offense. But in this case, there is a history of his behavior, followed by suspensions and then he comes back and does it again every time.
This is the World Cup and these guys are supposed to be role models for future generations of soccer players.
What are you going to do next time he bites, after your suggested half season ban? Another half season ban? And then what?
Morzer
@burnspbesq:
I wonder what Liverpool are thinking now. Can they really afford to keep a player who behaves like a cheat and a lunatic so consistently?
Hoosier X
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
EVERYONE is funny in German! (Unless they’re trying to be.)
WaterGirl
@raven: In southern Illinois, that would be nervous as a goose shitting peach pits.
burnspbesq
@Valdivia:
Apparently he wasn’t given enough time outs when he was in day care.
burnspbesq
@Morzer:
Can they afford not to? Depending on how quickly they depreciate his contract, he’s on their books at a value of around 20 million pounds. You don’t just write that off. And who’s going to take him off their hands at this point?
Morzer
It’s going to be interesting to see what the Uruguayan team has to say about this on the record. The smart thing to do might be to admit Suarez’ guilt and announce that he’s being sent home regardless of what FIFA chooses to do.
Morzer
@burnspbesq:
Surely they had enough good sense to include a clause in his contract stating that he could be dismissed for behavior that brings the club into disrepute?
burnspbesq
@Morzer:
They don’t even have flies that big in Maine.
? Martin
@Morzer:
I think you included your answer in your question.
Valdivia
@burnspbesq: I can’t believe he’s still at it after the two previous suspensions.
@Morzer: totally agree with you but doubt they will.
Morzer
One possible solution to Suarez’ problem:
https://twitter.com/2014WorIdCup/status/481492876069986304/photo/1
mali muso
Aaand, the Uruguay spokesperson punts. Nothing to see here folks. Move along!
Morzer
@mali muso:
Was the punt along the lines of “Allegations by defeated team.. sour grapes.. Suarez’ mouth was attacked by Chiellini’s shoulder…”?
mali muso
@Morzer: More like, “I hear nothing! I see nothing!” Oh and “I’m sure if there was such a thing, the ref would obviously have taken some action. No action by ref = nothing to see here folks!”
Morzer
@mali muso:
“Suarez has been a poor, toothless orphan all his life, as his father and dentist can tell you.”
mali muso
@Morzer: “I’m shocked, SHOCKED, to find that [biting] is going on here!”
Calouste
The Italian manager has resigned, according to the Guardian.
Punchy
There’s already pretty graphic pics of the Italian’s shoulder, Vines and Jpegs of the bite itself, and riducule for for Saurez. I dont know how FIFA doesn’t bounce this shitbag from the WC. One cannot clearly chomp down on a guy’s shoulder and be allowed to keep playing, can he?
I guess it depends on how much and how quickly Team U can funnel the lucre into FIFA’s myriad Swiss accounts. Better be quick, too, b/c this shit is blowing up on the interwebs.
Morzer
A rather nice German pun (yes, German humor!):
Robert Ide @ichgruessesie
“Wie beißt Du?” – ” #Suarez ”
Wie beißt Du?(“How do you bite?”) is a wordplay on Wie heißt Du?(“How are you called/What is your name?”)
Morzer
@Punchy:
FIFA has announced that it will investigate the “incident”.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Punchy: Lots of biting commentary, I’m sure.
Punchy
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I’ll bet they’ll chew this over, swallow their pride, and then have the FIFA mouthpiece spit out some toothless punishment like a 1st half suspension.
Morzer
@Punchy:
Suarez has already had 2 multi-game suspensions for biting, plus an 8 game ban for racially abusing another player.
Uncle Cosmo
Six teams from South American, 5 qualified, none eliminated (ECU v FRA tomorrow).
Four teams from North/Central America, 2 qualified, 1 eliminated (USA v GER Thursday).
Twelve teams from Europe, 4 qualified, 4 eliminated (GRE v CIV today, SWI v HON tomorrow, POR v GHA & RUS v ALG Thursday).
Five teams from Africa, none qualified, 1 eliminated (CIV v GRE today, NIG v ARG tomorrow, GHA v POR & ALG v RUS Thursday).
Outside these regions only Iran and Korea are still alive, the latter a long-shot.
At least half of the qualifiers will be from the non-Eurocentric world (the 7 already qualified from the Western Hemisphere plus either Nigeria or Iran) & perhaps as many as 11 (Cote d’Ivoire, Algeria, Ghana).
Interesting.
Amir Khalid
@Patrick:
The Guardian live-blog quotes the AP:
Chiellini’s injury from the bite was nowhere near as bad as a broken nose. But given that Suarez has previous, as they say in England, my suggestion of a half-season ban — 19 Premier League matches, plus any Uruguay matches between now and Christmas — seems about right to me.
daveNYC
@burnspbesq: Actually, the human mouth is a cesspool of bacteria. If Suarez broke Chiellini’s skin with the bite, that thing is going to need antibiotics.
WaterGirl
Don’t quit your day jobs, but you guys are cracking me up with all your biting puns.
Patrick
@Amir Khalid:
And, needless to say, suspended for the rest of the World Cup.
MCA1
@daveNYC: More important to me is that there is a categorical difference, aesthetically, philosophically, morally and otherwise, between coming in with your cleats up and f’ing BITING another human being. The former is overly aggressive, dangerous and possibly cynical. The latter is just straight up depraved. It’s shocking and disturbing in a way that a slide tackle isn’t, even if you might tear someone’s ACL or break their ankle.
dmbeaster
@? Martin:
He didn’t dive. He was elbowed in the face in reaction to his bite. He needs to be banned for the bite.