Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

The words do not have to be perfect.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

So many bastards, so little time.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

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107Comments

  6. 6.

    gbear

    I’d pay to see Grandpa Simpson before I’d give my money to Mike Love.

    Hopefully Frankie Valli isn’t the headliner. Maybe someone relevant will come up next.

  7. 7.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    Can’t our national celebration have better performances than Frankie Valli singing Grease?

    Sooo glad I’m not watching whatever it is that you are. People always think I’m being an intellectual snob when I say that I don’t have a TV set, but it’s really the avoidance of this type of aural torture (think ad jingles and loud announcers) that motivates me.

  11. 11.

    rikyrah

    And Cole,

    they have John ‘ The Balls’ Williams directing the orchestra in some number. so shut yer yap about any musical complaints. It’s patriotic sap from beginning to end…and I like it that way.

  12. 12.

    JGabriel

    efgoldman:

    I didn’t see either performance, but I understand that the Beach Boys (with the Boston Pops last night) gave a really good impression of Grandpa Simpson.

    Without Brian and Dennis, they are not really the Beach Boys anymore – they’re just Mike Love’s Wingnut Boomer Nostalgia Show.

  13. 13.

    randy khan

    Personally, I just want them to show more of the fireworks.

    Kelli O’Hara did a nice job with 76 Trombones. It made me want to see her on Broadway.

  15. 15.

    JGabriel

    gbear:

    But just try to tell us that you’ve never watched a Russian dashcam video compilation on YouTube…

    I have watched and loved Russian Dashcam Video Compilations, forwarded to me by real Russians, on Youtube.

    They are sublime.

  16. 16.

    bago

    Does it come with a bowl of pho? Because I need a good bowl of soup to finish coding the database that will properly show how much comcast sucks.

  18. 18.

    JerryN

    If you ask me, this should be part of the soundtrack for all of these televised fireworks. Of course, nobody asks me.

  20. 20.

    barbequebob

    America’s greatest musical contributions to the world are Jazz, Blues, and their descendant, Rock & Roll, all of which were originated by folks much darker than either the Rat Pack Wannabee “Four Seasons”or the Beach Boys, whose best songs were uncredited re-hashed Chuck Berry riffs.

    Yes, one could do much better than those two groups, who were both anachronisms when in their prime.

  21. 21.

    Mike in NC

    They couldn’t schedule Dinesh D’Adouchebag? His fees are quite resonable.

  24. 24.

    Keith P

    Doesn’t Michelle have Beyonce’s phone number, fer fuck’s sake?

    Solange didn’t have enough time to write some lyrics for her.

  25. 25.

    gogol's wife

    We watched Twelve O’Clock High (TV show) on YouTube instead — an episode with Rip Torn and Bruce Dern. Rip Torn used to be handsome.

  27. 27.

    patrick II

    I laughed out loud and read this post to my wife — to whom I had just said the exact same thing (even mentioning Beyonce), but with a few less “fucks”.
    Frankie always had a strange voice — but watching it come out of a seventy year old man got pretty weird.

  29. 29.

    Howard Beale IV

    @gbear: The cards they sell in Russia these days actually hold up pretty well-many are of European or Japanese/Korean import.

    At least the Russians are fully aware of why they need the dashcams-us ‘Muricans are slow on the uptake.

  31. 31.

    Michele Lynn

    Sorry you all feel this way-but this why we celebrate the freedom we have-for everyone to give their opinon-no matter how right or wrong! Let us remember that – USA – the land of the free and the brave-and God Bless Our Troops!!!

  32. 32.

    Mnemosyne

    @rikyrah:

    I got to see a John Williams concert at the Hollywood Bowl a few years ago. It was really fun, except for the parts where a low-flying LAPD helicopter was drowning out the music and he had to stop the orchestra until it flew away. :-p

    @barbequebob:

    Fun fact I learned from a PBS documentary: surf king Dick Dale is Lebanese-American, and he developed his guitar style from hearing Arabic music while he was growing up. Once you know that, the influences are really obvious.

  33. 33.

    Heliopause

    Whoa, wait a minute. Beyonce is either better or more quintessentially American than Frankie Valli? Look, if you don’t like pop swill don’t just replace it with other pop swill.

    If you’re going to be a purist let’s have a performance of Rhapsody in Blue, then a 45 minute jam of Crossroads, followed by recordings (please, no garbage imitators) of Ella Fitzgerald until fireworks time. If you did all that I might even think about becoming patriotic.

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    OT: Neymar has a fracture of the third lumbar vertebra, and is out for the rest of the World Cup.

    I’m curious as to how much the Germans paid Amir for this remarkable, umm, stroke of luck.

  35. 35.

    Mnemosyne

    @Heliopause:

    Beyonce is either better or more quintessentially American than Frankie Valli?

    Nope, but she is younger so it wouldn’t be a 70-year-old man singing a 35-year-old song.

  36. 36.

    burnspbesq

    @efgoldman:

    Een Amaireeka, eef you has dashcam, zee polees vill shoot out your vindshield to put eet out of komission. Zen zey beat zee sheet out of you.

  39. 39.

    lamh36

    Speaking of 4th of July concerts.

    My sister is right now at the Superdome, watching Prince perform at the Essence Music Festival opening night.

    Grrr….and she’s texting me pics while I’m at work…heffa. Damn sisters, who needs em anyway.

    That’s okay though, my next paycheck will be very nice with the extra money from working the holiday AND night shift differential!

  40. 40.

    Jewish Steel

    @gbear:

    But just try to tell us that you’ve never watched a Russian dashcam video compilation on YouTube…

    That is seriously my favorite. Utter chaos.

  41. 41.

    burnspbesq

    If we have to have a 70-year-old guy singing at our Fourth of July celebration, can’t it be Aaron Neville?

  45. 45.

    Mike in NC

    @Howard Beale IV: Last month we were in Saint Petersburg where billboards advertised Ford Fiestas for 70,000 rubles, or about $21,000 dollars US. We saw every kind of car imaginable there, from Skodas to BMWs to Range Rovers.

  47. 47.

    dance around in your bones

    @ Raven!! Raven!!

    I am now watching the new Jimi Hendrix documentary on Netflix per your recommendation….

    I can still remember my older sister ( by 18 months) bringing home Jimi’s first album, and we played it on our weird old wood box stereo and I was so blown away – I had never before heard electric guitar played the way Jimi played it (ok, I was about 14, so give me some slack) but DAMN! did it blow my mind. I’d never heard music like that before.

    ETA: I got this recommend on another thread, so whatever, I’m watching Jimi!

  50. 50.

    Gravenstone

    Holy fuck, reports out that the Cubs have moved both Samardzia and Hammel to the A’s for a high level prospect. I hope like hell there are a LOT of other players coming back.

  51. 51.

    dance around in your bones

    @Jewish Steel: I hear ya – I guess there is a depth of blues guitarists that might qualify as ‘best’ but nobody like Jimi really shook me up in the 60’s. Maybe it’s a generational thing, but gawdamn he blew my mind. But I repeat myself.

  52. 52.

    Jewish Steel

    @efgoldman:

    some players hissed while sight-reading a new Williams composition in rehearsal

    That’s pretty bitchy! Surely Williams’s Holstisms are good enough for pops orchestra players? I wonder what their beef was.

  53. 53.

    Jewish Steel

    @dance around in your bones: I have a bootleg of what is considered one of his more lackluster performances (Berkeley 1970) and I guess that’s right as he only does 11 or 12 gobsmacking things on the guitar.

  54. 54.

    dance around in your bones

    @Jewish Steel: Do you have a copy of said recording? That you can share? If not, never mind.

    Fucking Jimi, he was one of the greatest guitarists ever, I recognized that at age 14 in ABQ, NM. Whoa! I am so unusual!

    Later I came to recognize the greatness of Robert Johnson and etc,,,,,

  58. 58.

    Jewish Steel

    @efgoldman: Really! I had no idea. I thought it was a different light orchestra that liked that kind of thing. The hissing totally makes sense now. Still, bad form to shit on the conductor* like that. Just take your snobbish discontent to the blogs!

    *eta conductor/composer!

  59. 59.

    Andy G.

    I feel your pain. I had the misfortune of seeing the Four Seasons in Vegas in the 90s and sounds were coming out of Frankie Valli’s mouth that were not part of any recognizable Western scale of tonality.

  60. 60.

    dance around in your bones

    @Jewish Steel: Ok, I’ve got it bookmarked. But my mission tonight is to make sure the golden retriever doesn’t freak out at the fireworks noise despite being medicated with Xanax.

    Wish it was me.

  62. 62.

    dance around in your bones

    OMG! I said X.anax! and now I’m in moderation. I wish I had a X,anax so I could deal with the barking dog who was already dosed with said medication in advance of the ballistic celebrations of WTF.

  65. 65.

    Sir Laffs-a-Lot

    On another note, Cole thinks “It’s A Wonderful Life” is merely a puff piece on the Banking industry.

  66. 66.

    Ruckus

    @dance around in your bones:
    Yes the fun is starting here as well.

    I wonder what the draw is for blowing things up/making so much stupid noise. Lack of maturity? Hearing still works and we can’t have that? Ability to piss off people by acting like pinheads? Maybe it’s just that I’ve seen much bigger bangs, done by large weapons and all this is is just a pissant reminder of that.

  67. 67.

    srv

    @amk: there should be an official BJ cane for rapping my porch deck and telling Frankie to get off our tubes.

  68. 68.

    lamh36

    @burnspbesq: mahn, I’ve only been home to local NOLA since March, but I really need to get up and close with the music scene again.

    I feel like I need to be a tourist in my own city. I need to catch up on what I missed being away for so long.

    One reason why I’m soo mad I didn’t go to Essence is that it’s a great time and I missed not going the last few years.

    This time, I was hoisted by my own pitard, cause I volunteered to work tonight, even though I know I wanted to see prince.

    oh well, I’ve got to see when the Neville’s are performing somewhere again

  69. 69.

    Cassidy

    My neighbor makes awesome ribs and I grabbed good bourbon as a “thank you for inviting us gift”. Been a good night.

  70. 70.

    FlyingToaster

    @patrick II: WarriorGirl told me he sounds like an alien. I told her if she keeps singing the same songs for 60 years she’ll sound like an alien too.

    FlyingToaster+2 (watched “A Capitol Fourth” interspersed with Vh1’s “Philly 4th Jam” with a six-year-old, now I’m putting down a bottle of Westport Rivers’ Farmers Fizz.)

  71. 71.

    dance around in your bones

    @Ruckus: I think people just like pretty lights in the sky.

    You remember Shock and Awe, of course. Same bloody thing,

    Maybe it goes back to to ‘the rocket’s red glare – bombs bursting in air’ and etc. Frick, I’m hearing them right now. I’m gonna focus on Jimi and his electric guitar bombs, Thank you very much!

  72. 72.

    Soprano2

    I don’t think Valli was singing, I think he was lip – syncing. He didn’t open his mouth enough to be singing.

  74. 74.

    Bobby B.

    @Jewish Steel: Considered by who??? Judging by the “Jimi Plays Berkeley” video I used to have he was pretty damn fine at that time, however Janie Hendrix repackages it.

  76. 76.

    Davis X. Machina

    @efgoldman: When I was young and broke, Ben Zander’s band especially was a life-saver for the impecunious. Many happy evenings spent at Memorial Hall…

    Of course up here in Portland the joke goes “What’s the Portland String Quartet?” “It’s the Portland Symphony Orchestra, on a night where’s a bad accident and a backup on the Kittery bridge.”

  78. 78.

    mclaren

    Be thankful it wasn’t Bieber, Cole.

    Or the Jonas Brothers.

    Or (shudder) The Captain and Tennille.

  79. 79.

    srv

    July 5, 2014
    Dow Tops 17,000 on Stellar Jobs Report
    By Avi Salzman

    Why am I not seeing this everywhere

    Obama Boom

  80. 80.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:
    I wasn’t that excited about fireworks before I went to war. I’ve actively disliked them ever since.

  81. 81.

    dance around in your bones

    @Tommy: Machine Gun is fucking awesome, no matter when you became aware of it.

    Fireworks are rockin’ right now in SoCal. Dog is panting, despite the X.anax.

  82. 82.

    amk

    @srv: Remove the 1 and you’ll see it.

    kenyan mindtrick – make himself invisible to emmessem when good things happen.

  85. 85.

    Ruckus

    @dance around in your bones:
    Like I said, when you’ve seen/heard the real thing, not even in combat, all this is fake. It’s like ribbons for your car or going to Las Vegas or Rock Ridge. It’s carrying around a gun to impress. It’s a Harley with loud pipes. Are you impressed? I’m not, but then I’ve never been mainstream.

  86. 86.

    Ruckus

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    As you know I wasn’t in country so I escaped that bit of fun but feel exactly the same way. When we did live firing I had to sit on deck about 30-40 feet away from the gun wearing an OBA and having a charged fire hose in case of a hang fire. I was the guy who had to get up close and personal with a large bore weapon that was cooking off a high explosive shell in the barrel and hopefully get it cooled down before it went off, most likely taking me with it. Never had a hang fire but sitting there for hours waiting does build a certain amount of stress. Especially during rapid fire, that’s 60 rounds a minute for a 5 inch gun. It is impressive. This isn’t.

  87. 87.

    dance around in your bones

    @Ruckus:

    Oh gawd, Ruckus – no…I am not impressed. I know it’s but a pale stand-in for the real thing, which is so awful I cannot wrap my mind around it. All I have is the images that I have seen from WWII and Vietnam (nightly on my TV screen when I was a kid)(plus friends that I knew who either went or didn’t with varying results) and AFG ( which was a place that I loved, having traveled there) and Iraq ..and it all makes me just think/realize that war is hell and no one should ever be forced to go there. I’m sorry you had to go but glad you came back,

    Gads, the fireworks are still going on. Poor dog.

  89. 89.

    dance around in your bones

    @Anne Laurie: In reading books set in Japan and China I have heard some incredible descriptions of fireworks – far more sophisticated than we see nowadays.

    My best friend’s kid is named Hana – called Hanako when she was young. She’s a fierce little flower – fabulous photographer (see her book Switcheroo) AND a DJ in Canada and whatever else she wants to do. Go, Hana!

  91. 91.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:
    Don’t think I’d be at all comfortable dealing with a hang fire – especially because, IIRC, the 5’/38 used fixed ammunition. If the powder charge detonated (Bad enough) then anything in the projectile would go up as well.

  92. 92.

    Origuy

    I was in Moscow last year in March. The lady I was staying with had a little Kia, with a dashcam. I wish I’d gotten a copy of the video when she took me to the airport. Two feet of snow on the ground, the roads badly plowed, at one intersection near the airport, four lanes of traffic merged into two. Cars and trucks going every which way, driving on the unplowed sidewalk. I was freaking, not least because I was afraid I’d miss my flight.

    Someone near me bought a lot of fireworks that I can see out my window. It’s funny, they must have bought several boxes because they’ll set off a bunch all alike, then a little while later set off a different bunch all alike. It sounds like a Damascus suburb out there.

  93. 93.

    Tehanu

    @JGabriel:
    Many years ago I saw Bette Midler’s show at the Hollywood Bowl. Halfway through she said she was going to take a little break and let her music director do a couple of his own songs because he was so talented and we were all going to love him. After the first number I turned to Hubby Dearest and uttered the immortal words, “This guy will never make it big in show business. He has no talent.” It was Barry Manilow, and I always like to point out that I was half right.

  94. 94.

    Ruckus

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    If you mean cartridge instead of bag powder then yes. The projectile and the charge cartridge were separate, loaded one after the other before the breach was closed. All automatic, no one in the turret if I recall correctly. Most of the ammo was high explosive with a “fuse” which was set by the loaders down below in the magazine room. There were also some other types of rounds, such as white phosphorus.
    I once had a shotgun break the stock in half on me when I fired it. Damn near lost my shoulder over that one. Figured a hang fire would either be no big deal or I’d go out in a big fucking bang. My luck though I’d have lived but without some important and useful body parts. But then we know enough people who ended up like that. How many jobs would you have walked off of if they were half as dangerous (and not just from the enemy) as the military?

  95. 95.

    Suzanne

    Mr. Suzanne and I were going to take the kiddos to see fireworks, but we got in the car to find out that the battery was dead. And the other car’s transmission is FUBAR. So we came home, and Spawn the Younger got her first beesting. Does not appear to be allergic, so that’s good.

    If I believed in signs, I would say that this was God’s way of saying that I, working through Mario, absolutely NEED to save the Princess tonight.

    I am just not feeling patriotic or traditional today. Eff it.

  96. 96.

    burnspbesq

    @lamh36:

    I feel like I need to be a tourist in my own city. I need to catch up on what I missed being away for so long.

    Hint: Trombone Shorty.

  97. 97.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:

    How many jobs would you have walked off of if they were half as dangerous (and not just from the enemy) as the military?

    Worst job I had in the service was Airframes Cat Checker for my squadron when it deployed to the USS Lexington to enable our student pilots to make their traps (Aressted landings) and cat shots. It was days of sunup to sundown close calls, jet blast, minor injuries and “WTF am I doing?” The icing on the cake? At that time you had to preflight the aircraft as it taxied toward the cats. When you arrived, you knelt down beneath the port wing and gave the cat boss the thumbs up when he nodded at you. The pilot then shoved the throttle into Military (100%+ thrust) and the aircraft was launched right over your head.

    Whee!

  98. 98.

    Ruckus

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    Not 5/38, we had two 5/54. These are the single barrel later issue not the doubles like in WWII. I knew something didn’t sound right about your description. I believe 5/38 was manually loaded by men in the turret. That would not be a fun job. The 5/54 was automatic in the turret, the projectiles and charges were manually loaded in a rotary magazine a deck or two below the turret. I only saw it rapid fire a couple of times but that was enough to get your attention, the spent brass ejected out of the turret makes a pretty loud clang when it hits the deck. At one clang a second….

  99. 99.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:
    You’re correct, the 5″/38 was manually loaded by the gun crew. My dad was a Chief Gunner’s Mate until he made Warrant so I was fairly familiar with the older gun.

  100. 100.

    Ruckus

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    I’ve seen cat shots off the America, it sure is impressive, even from a distance. Up close it has to be nuts. Now on the other hand a lifelong bucket list item that I’ll very, very likely never fulfill is a cat launch and arrested landing.

  101. 101.

    Villago Delenda Est

    As long as they don’t play that vile Lee Greenwood crap, I can live with it.

  102. 102.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:

    Careful what you wish for. Operational necessities caused me to be in the back seat for two traps and two cat shots. I could never decide whether the bang as you grabbed the wire and decelerated or the way our aircraft would drop a dozen or more feet after they cleared the deck on launch was the more nerve wracking.

  103. 103.

    Ruckus

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    I know. When I was a 7 yr old that was my obsession, to be a fighter pilot then astronaut. I grew up. A little bit. I road raced motorcycles so I’m used to adrenaline and nerve racking situations, just always thought it would be an exciting hoot. But you know bucket lists, there are always things left that don’t get fulfilled and that sound better than reality.
    That shot drop off the end is an amazing thing to watch. Really fast fighters don’t have a lot of low speed lift so they drop almost completely below deck level, just before they really get moving from full afterburner. Got to be a kick in the ass. Did know a radar/missile op second seat guy who said the shot and trap weren’t the worst part of flying in Vietnam. Getting hit three times by missiles and having to ditch near the carrier once was what got to him.

  104. 104.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Ruckus:
    That would get to anyone. Ditching in a two seater is a matter of seeing how quickly you can get out of the thing before it sinks. Fortunately, the SAR guys who work off of carriers are consummate pros.

  106. 106.

    bago

    When I say Comcast sucks, I bring databases and code to the table. Excel makes nice charts too.

  107. 107.

    gogiggs

    Well, I have no particular love for Grease, but I can’t see how it would be an improvement to replace it with an interchangeable pop mannequin lip-synching a song she didn’t write because she can’t actually sing it while dancing someone else’s choreography.
    They keep trying to make fetch happen and I guess it has, but I ain’t buying.

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