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You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Saturday Afternoon Open Thread

Saturday Afternoon Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  July 26, 20144:22 pm| 132 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Don't Mourn, Organize, Open Threads

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Mary Poppins Quits with Kristen Bell from Funny Or Die

.

Okay, it’s a funny-once, but sometimes that’s enough…

I need to go mow the weeds lawn. What weekend excitement is on the agenda in your more urbane areas?

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Reader Interactions

132Comments

  1. 1.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    July 26, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    Love that video.

    I’d like to apologize to my fellow Juicers for ranting about Alex Sink on the dipshit Clawson thread. Of course he won the special election to replace coke fiend Trey Radel in a red district rather than the late Bill Young in a tossup district.

    D’oh.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    July 26, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    My nym doesn’t automatically disappear on the mobile site anymore. FYWP must have been pleased with my offering.

  3. 3.

    srv

    July 26, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Urbane? I just brush axed a quarter mile of mountain road edge in Napa.

    Napatime

  4. 4.

    Yatsuno

    July 26, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    Current travel plans: Vancouver in August & Dallas in October. Eating spot recommendations encouraged.

  5. 5.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    Putting together a care package for a friend of mine who has been diagnosed with breast cancer and who has two young kids at home. She is undergoing chemo. Any suggestions? I’m including stuff for her but thought something for the kids and husband might be nice. Caregiving is a tough role and people don’t always think of the caregiver.

  6. 6.

    Yatsuno

    July 26, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    @Violet: It sounds callous, but gift cards. Restaurants, grocery stores, what have you. They are going to be hurting financially and a little boost there will help a lot.

  7. 7.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    @Violet: If you live in the area, put in a coupon for help with errand running, child watching, or something like that. It will probably appreciated. Also, I gave a mohawk wig to one of my friends who was undergoing chemo. She and I found it funny; I don’t know if anyone else did.

  8. 8.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    July 26, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    @Violet: People almost never think of the caregivers, and you certainly know what an exhausting time it is for them. Really soft socks for her. Maybe an easy read mag (Country Living or whatever her taste is) for when she’s feeling up to it. My friend read the Stephanie Plum books in order, including the ones she’d already read, during her chemo.

    Maybe some age appropriate books for the kiddos? If they’re old enough Anyway* by our own Hungry Joe is terrific. Not a clue for the husband. You can imagine that I’d send a book or two if I knew his tastes. Without knowing that, I’d recommend any of the Elvis Cole/Joe Pike books by Robert Crais. I have other book ideas too, if you’d like. Sometimes sitting and reading with the care -ee is comforting, as I was told by another friend whose husband took care of her.

  9. 9.

    geg6

    July 26, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Just finished mopping floors (and no, I know better than to do it naked).

    Making grilled pork loin with a great BBQ sauce John made this past week. Alton Brown’s mac and cheese, fresh corn on the grill and some cukes and tomatoes from the garden. Yum!

  10. 10.

    Mustang Bobby

    July 26, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Catching up on a week’s worth of TiVo: “Death in Paradise,” “Vicious,” “Covert Affairs,” “Perception,” “Rizzoli & Isles,” and “Suits.” A lot of chewing gum for the eyes, but it’s summer so what the hell.

  11. 11.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    @Yatsuno: I’m going to include a gift card for a local restaurant. If she’s not up to using it her husband can take the kids.

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Unfortunately I don’t live in the area. I’m nowhere near them. So I’m not able to help out personally but do want to put things in the care package that might be of some help.

  12. 12.

    srv

    July 26, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    @Yatsuno: Guu with Otokomae, Gastown

    Sushi in the morning, sushi in the evening. It’s all good and cheap in BC

  13. 13.

    Karen in GA

    July 26, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    A slightly older one — Iggy, loyal.

    Oh, and not one person in my family bothered to tell me my 85 year old mother fell and broke her ankle a week ago. Mom needs surgery and they’re not sure she’ll be able to walk on it again. But for 85, hey — could have been worse.

    I’m not even angry with my family — but after years of being treated like I don’t exist because I committed the horrible crime of moving away and building a stable life for myself, I don’t have it in me to go back for more. I’ve jettisoned the lot of ’em.

  14. 14.

    princess leia

    July 26, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    @Violet: Recorded books that they all could listen to together are great. When my sis had chemo, reading was tough, but she loved being read to. So great classics loaded on a Ipod or mp3 files would be great. I second the gift card ideas, esp for places that deliver!

  15. 15.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    @Yatsuno: Chinatown in Vancouver – full of good places. Also, there used to be a good crêperie on Robson Street for takeout.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    July 26, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Has not been the most stellar of weeks for several long shot candidates for office here.

    Candidate for Maui mayor Tasered by police

    Maui mayoral candidate arrested at forum

    Maui mayoral candidate Mamuad disqualified

  17. 17.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I know she’s got an iPad or similar tablet and she has been enjoying using that so I don’t know if actual magazines would be good or not.

    The kids are early teens and girls. I am not sure what they’d appreciate. I can imagine it’s pretty terrifying to have your mom get cancer at that age. I feel for them.

  18. 18.

    MomSense

    July 26, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    @Violet:

    Lots of great suggestions from everyone. When we were going through a tough time, one of my friends sent little stickers for my youngest that I could put on the top of his shoe when he went off to school so that if he had a sad or worried moment he could look at it when he needed a smile from me. It seems silly but if her young children are really young it might help on rough days when they don’t want to leave her because they are worried.

    ETA: I see that they are teens–stickers won’t do it!

  19. 19.

    Karen in GA

    July 26, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    @Violet: What Omnes said — especially the child care. I imagine she’ll worry about the toll her illness will take on the kids, so maybe amusement park/movie/etc. gift certificates? Perhaps knowing the kids are going on fun outings might help ease her mind?

    ETA — just saw their ages. I’m at a loss.

  20. 20.

    jenn

    July 26, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    @Violet: Maybe audiobooks, as well as the real thing? One of my friends, who’s been going through an extended rough patch, loves them, because she’s too exhausted and light-sensitive to actually read, but still craves the story-telling to take her out of herself.

  21. 21.

    James E. Powell

    July 26, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    @srv:

    I just brush axed a quarter mile of mountain road edge in Napa.

    This sounds like a metaphor for a deviant, but enjoyable, sex act.

  22. 22.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    @MomSense: That’s a cute suggestion but the kids are a little older than that. Although scary times like they’re facing can make kids regress a bit and need more support so who knows, they might really like it.

    @Karen in GA: I can’t be there personally but I like the idea of sending movie gift certificates. I’m going to start with a gift card for a local, casual healthy restaurant. It’ll be good for her if she is up to eating and if not, the kids and husband can probably find something.

    My plan is to send more than one gift package rather than send everything all at once. I can hunt down the movie gift certificates or something like that for the next one. I figure going through chemo is awful and getting a little package on a regular basis might cheer her up.

  23. 23.

    MomSense

    July 26, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    @Violet:

    Maybe go with sending them vines of yourself doing really stupid things to make them laugh.

  24. 24.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    @MomSense: Ha ha! That’s funny. It made me laugh anyway.

  25. 25.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    @Violet:

    I figure going through chemo is awful and getting a little package on a regular basis might cheer her up.

    I am sure you are right. The day my friend of the mohawk wig was diagnosed I arranged to have a monster cookie waiting at her front door when she got home. It apparently made a difference.

  26. 26.

    jenn

    July 26, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    @Karen in GA: Movie tickets are a great idea! They’re social, but you can have your own space; you can be in a little bubble and laugh (or cry), & get a bit of a break from the real world.

  27. 27.

    srv

    July 26, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    @James E. Powell: Rough going even with a 9″ Fiskars

  28. 28.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I’m nervous about sending food because I know chemo can really make you sick. Although the kids and husband could probably eat it. It’s the thinking about her/them that really counts I think. I hope, anyway.

  29. 29.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    @Yatsuno: While it is not food related, the Klahowya Village in Stanley Park is worth a look. I absolutely love Vancouver.

  30. 30.

    gelfling545

    July 26, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    I was out in the garden early this morning digging the edge around the pond & putting down the edging prior to mulching; also dividing irises, deadheading & replanting an arbor vitae which had unaccountably leapt from its planting hole a few days ago. Had lunch about 1 and sat down to read with the dog. Well, I was reading; not sure about her. Of course we fell asleep & just woke up (actually, she woke me up) and I still have the bathroom to clean. Sigh.

  31. 31.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    July 26, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    @Violet: Multiple packages are awesome. I bet the girls at that age will like Anyway* as it’s got a young teen in it. It’s terrifically funny. The gift card ideas are really great because they provide for an outing for whoever is up to going.

  32. 32.

    Dee Loralei

    July 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    @Violet: since they are girls and tweens, may I suggest “Dont tell my parents I am a Supervillain ” by our own FrankenSteinbeck, Richard Roberts, it made me laugh and I loved it. Movie passes, sweet treats for the kids. Maybe a massage for hubby? Yea and definitely a restaurant gift certificate.

    A friend just had a baby and her friends from all over the country did something called a food train, we either paid for an entire meal or chipped in to restaurants in her area that delivered.

  33. 33.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    @Violet: The cookie was given before she started chemo. If the people are trying to get through it using a sense of humor, the mohawk wig or a multi-colored fright wig are something to consider – it really would depend on the people and your relationship with them.

  34. 34.

    ranchandsyrup

    July 26, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Took the girls and the dogs to the lagoon. Got some kayaking and sup boarding in. Good times.

  35. 35.

    Anne Laurie

    July 26, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    @Violet:

    The kids are early teens and girls. I am not sure what they’d appreciate. I can imagine it’s pretty terrifying to have your mom get cancer at that age. I feel for them.

    Fancy ‘nail art’ manicure/pedicure stuff? At that age it’s still interesting, and they can do Mom’s nails as a form of ‘comfort grooming’ for both parties. Even if they’re not very girly girls, getting the fiddly little painting *just perfect* is enticing enough to take one’s mind off the ‘hamster wheel’ of worry.

    Maybe some inexpensive, pretty scarves, and a book on scarf-tying? That’s something else which can be done together with mom, when she’s up for it, or the girls can practice as a distraction for themselves.

  36. 36.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    I did a 35 mile ride this afternoon and am putting off a quick run to the grocery store.

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    @Mustang Bobby: What is Death in Paradise? Is that the Jesse Stone movie or some series I’ve never heard of?

    Otherwise, all your shows are on my list. TV is supposed to be fun, right?

    Edit: I know Rizzoli & Isles is really lame, but for some reason I watch it anyway!

  38. 38.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Thanks for the book suggestions. I’ll have a think about that.

    @Dee Loralei: That’s a good suggestion too. I’m definitely giving that book to some girls for Christmas this year. I think they’ll love it.

  39. 39.

    Mandalay

    July 26, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    @NotMax: I don’t have much sympathy for the victim in the first link:

    Hawkes said the incident actually began earlier that morning, when he was pulled over on Haleakala Highway for using a cell phone while driving and driving without license plates. The Makawao man claims that cell phone ban is illegal because it was not approved with a vote “by the people,” and that he is an “independent private person.”

    “Part of that means I do not use license plates, driver’s license, pay taxes, do anything that would bring me into the corporate America system,” he said.

    Bragging that you don’t pay taxes does not seem like a good idea.

  40. 40.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 5:20 pm

    @Anne Laurie: That’s a fun suggestion. I bet my friend would enjoy having her girls do her nails or whatever. It would be something they could all do together. Maybe some outlandish colors too. Although I understand that scents can really affect people going through chemo so I don’t know if nail polish smell would be okay…

  41. 41.

    NotMax

    July 26, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    @Mandalay

    All three of them are coo-coo. But it’s unusual to have such a troika of stories all in the same week.

  42. 42.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    @James E. Powell: One minute you’re hiking the appalachian trail; the next minute everything outdoors reminds you of sex.

  43. 43.

    Iowa Old Lady

    July 26, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Funny movies. They need to laugh from something that takes no effort. So whatever they think is funny.

  44. 44.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    @Violet: It’s not at all the same, I felt terrible when the University cancelled the employment contract with one of the folks who worked for me – we all really loved her and felt terrible about it, me in particular.

    Anyway, I gave her 14 days worth of little gifts to give her at least one bright spot every day. Each one was individually wrapped so she could open whichever one she felt like each day. She really liked that. Maybe you could include something like that to help her get through the days in the beginning?

    (I also found her next job for her, which she still has nearly 10 years later.)

  45. 45.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    @Dee Loralei: I was about to recommend that one – you saved me the trouble of looking up the author’s real name, etc.

  46. 46.

    Dee Loralei

    July 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I just bought Anyway* I better love it lady!

  47. 47.

    Iowa Old Lady

    July 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    @WaterGirl: We did that when we left our 8 year old son at his grandparents for a week. He liked it and it gave him a sense of passing time too.

  48. 48.

    Mustang Bobby

    July 26, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    @WaterGirl: Death in Paradise is a British murder mystery series that takes place in the Caribbean. Strait-laced inspector from London heads up a police team made up of locals on the fictional island of St. Marie that’s a combination of Antigua and Martinique, I guess. Formulaic — “I’ve gathered you all together so I can name the murderer” — but fun.

  49. 49.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    @Dee Loralei: My 13-year old niece loved Anyway*, which I gave her for her birthday last year.

  50. 50.

    Mustang Bobby

    July 26, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    @Mandalay: Shorter version: a ten-year-old brat ranting that “I don’t wanna! You’re not the boss of me!”

    I tried that on my mom once. I still remember the potch on the tuchus she gave me.

  51. 51.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    @Mustang Bobby: Thanks! I just made a wish list for it.

    How do you like the new features in the recent upgrade?

  52. 52.

    Mnemosyne

    July 26, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    @Violet:

    They make low-odor nail polish now, so you could always get that. If it’s a kit aimed at kids, they’ll probably use that kind anyway.

    I wouldn’t get too wrapped up into whether or not she can use every item at every stage of her treatment, especially since you’re planning to send multiple packages. She’ll like some things and won’t like others, but just getting the packages will be helpful. There may be things she’ll set aside and use after the chemo is done, but that’s good, too.

  53. 53.

    Mustang Bobby

    July 26, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    @WaterGirl: Haven’t kicked in yet as far as I can tell. Of course, down here in South Florida, we’re the last to get anything.

    I’ll let you know when I see it.

  54. 54.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    @Mustang Bobby: You will know right away when you get it, ’cause My Shows looks completely different.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    July 26, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    I would probably get more done on the weekends if the cats didn’t demand that I go back to bed at 10:00 am so they can nap with me. I just finished my workout and lunch and I’m trying to decide if I have time to run some errands before tonight’s dinner and a movie.

  56. 56.

    scav

    July 26, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Violet, Is there some way to fund a bout of time at a movie or book site or have they got that all covered? It sort of fits in with the gift card theme, and helps financially, especially if they’re feeling the need to rein in spending. Covers all ages and unknown interests and needs no delivery juggling. What about the new book thing I heard of from Amazon? Unlimited books?

  57. 57.

    mayim

    July 26, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    @Violet:

    Gift card for a local restaurant. If her chemo is anything like my mother’s was (both the first time, when I was 11, and the second time, when i was in my late 30s) , there will be times she just wants the house quiet ~ and she won’t be up to thinking about food. So the gift card gets her a quiet house and fed family.

    Unless you know the husband likes to cook, in which case a gift card to a local bookshop or family attraction (zoo, museum, amusement park) would work well.

    When I’ve done this, I’ve enclosed a card with a comment along the lines of ‘For when {friend’s name} needs some quiet time ~ and knowing you are having fun will help her sleep better ;-)’

  58. 58.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    @Violet: I like to give the book Found Dogs to people who are going through a rough patch.

    The longer title is: Found Dogs: Tales of Strays Who Landed on Their Feet

    It’s a book filled with photos and stories of dogs who were strays and now are with new owners. It’s a nice book in its own right, but It’s also kind of perfect for when you’re going through a rough patch. You don’t need much of an attention span because it’s basically one photo & the accompanying story to a page. It can also help with the emotional side because you can get teary-eyed about the dog and the story of how they were found and are now loved. And who knows, the landing on their feet part might help with some positive forward thinking.

    One thing that helped get me through when my dad was sick and then dying were the Griffin & Sabine books. If your friend appreciates beauty or art, she might really like the books.

    At that point, there were 3 books and I bought one to take with me on the trip to Chicago for each of my visits during a very tough time. If you aren’t familiar with the books, you should check them out in person at a bookstore. They are quite charming.

    “With more than two million copies in print, Nick Bantock’s trilogy of romantic intrigue is now available as a set, beautifully packaged in an illustrated slipcase created by the author. A lovely gift for those new to the saga of the mysterious lovers, this distinctive collection also makes an enduring keepsake for devoted fans.”

  59. 59.

    Yatsuno

    July 26, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I adore Stanley Park! Should I ever get married the wedding will be held there. I also plan to show a Canadian friend around who is looking to escape there from the Prairies. I know a few places (my favourite Chinese restaurant up there) but I’m always open to suggestion.

  60. 60.

    skerry

    July 26, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    @Violet: When my girlfriend in another town was going through chemo, I sent a card a month with a restaurant gift card. Even when she wasn’t eating, the rest of the family could enjoy and it gave the caretakers a break.

    I also set her up with a monthly subscription to audible.com for audiobooks. She had an iPad and could listen to the book of her choice. She had trouble reading, but said she enjoyed listening. I paid the monthly fee and she chose the book.

    Hoping for the best for your friend and her family.

  61. 61.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    @Violet: Also too, this should be said: Fuck cancer.

  62. 62.

    Dee Loralei

    July 26, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    @WaterGirl: Don’t tell him, but I had to look up his real name too. And I’m sure I’ll like Anyway* too, I enjoy HungryJoe’s comments and I am sooooo in touch with my inner 12 year old.

    I’m trying to get a friends 11 year old to love reading, so we’ve started a book club and as soon as she finishes “Don’t tell Mom and Dad…” I’m going to give her my late Mom’s Kindle Fire loaded with a few books to spur her on.

  63. 63.

    piratedan

    July 26, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    restaurant suggestions for San Francisco would be welcomed, gonna be staying close to Daly City and the wife and I aren’t too uptown, so perhaps something modest/casual as opposed to dressy would be better if anyone has a shoutout to some place local that they like.

  64. 64.

    Yatsuno

    July 26, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Indeed.

  65. 65.

    mayim

    July 26, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Two more ideas:

    First, when my mother was at home, she didn’t want to wear her wig, especially at the height of hair loss, as it wasn’t really comfortable against her bare scalp. She made herself a series of little scarf/kerchief coverings to protect her scalp ~ and had fun fabrics. Red Sox themed fabric while she was watching the World Series where they broke the curse ;-), blueberries when on vacation in Maine, and so on.

    If your friend sews, a few cuts of fabric (half yards or possible even fat quarters will do); if not, you or another friend could make some ~ basically a couple seams/hems each. Sample view here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/killearnan/72971924

    Secondly, an easy, inexpensive one… frequent emails with mindless entertainment. Not all of them will be right for her mood at the time, but links to little foster kittens (The Critter Room at Livestream, or even my little effort at https://www.facebook.com/backwoodsfosters), funny YouTube videos ~ or even not so funny [lots of good British documentary type programs like Who Do You Think You Are (genealogy) or Time Team (archaeology) ~ interesting while not requiring lots of brains power], or anything else that fits what she likes…. even if it only amuses her for 17 seconds, that’s 17 seconds of better in her day ;-)

  66. 66.

    Anne

    July 26, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    Took the pupster up to Fort Funston, where she got sandy, wet, and thoroughly tuckered out. SF Bay Area (or at least SF/Peninsula) folks with dogs, if you haven’t discovered Fort Funston, I encourage you to check it out. It’s basically a giant dog park on ocean bluffs, with a nice, long beach and old bunkers to explore. It’s well-attended by dogs of all sizes, and in our experience, everyone’s pretty well behaved (canine and human).

    Anyway, pupster’s coat has a nearly magical ability to shed dirt and sand once she’s dry, but she’s still due for a bath, so that’s next on the agenda. Then tidying up in preparation for having family over for dinner tomorrow, at least to the extent I can stand to be doing housework when it’s closing in on 90F outside. At some point I’ll give up, grab something cold from the fridge, and sit in front of a fan for a while.

  67. 67.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    @WaterGirl: That’s a good idea. I’ll wrap each gift individually and maybe suggest she open one a day for a distraction.

    @Mnemosyne: Thanks for the tip. I’ll look for low-odor ones. I don’t use much nail polish so I’m not really familiar with what’s out there.

    @scav: I guess I could do that. I’m not quite sure what they’ve already got and don’t. I don’t want to bug them to ask, “Hey! Do you have Amazon Prime?” or whatever. With all the various permutations of online things, everyone seems to already have something but what that something is can vary widely.

  68. 68.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    @mayim: Since I don’t live near her, getting a gift card for a very local restaurant has so far proven challenging. I am probably going to stick with chains like Chipotle or maybe a Whole Foods gift card that they can spend however they want. I have been able to get one for a healthy local chain near them but it’s harder than you think to get a gift card when you don’t live nearby! The internet apparently doesn’t solve all problems!

  69. 69.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    @WaterGirl: Thanks for the Found Dogs tip. Looks like a lovely book. I remember the Griffin and Sabine books! I think I might have one somewhere. Really amazing. I love textural books. Kindle or iPad or Tablets can’t do that for you.

    @skerry: Thanks for the confirmation that sending a restaurant gift card is a good idea. I am going to find a way to keep that up while she’s getting treated.

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Yes. Fuck cancer. I would like to send her a “fuck cancer” something or other but with the kids still at home I’m sure it’s not appropriate. I know if the kids weren’t there she’d be all over that.

  70. 70.

    Iowa Old Lady

    July 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    @WaterGirl: I love that book! I gave it to my vet’s office after our “found” dog died.

  71. 71.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    @mayim: Thanks for the ideas. I do not sew, not one bit, so I’m not sure how I could do that. I like the frequent emails, though. Especially with links to funny things. I’ll keep that in mind.

  72. 72.

    gelfling545

    July 26, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    @Violet: While the kids won’t need child care they will need rides to the various places kids need to go. This can be a big relief to the parents & help keep the kids from feeling cut off from their friends. They can also use gift cards to teen type food places (Subway, local pizza place, etc.) so they can feed themselves when their parents are busy or just can’t cope.

  73. 73.

    mayim

    July 26, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    @Violet:

    I’d say chains are fine ~ although definitely not my preferred type of restaurant; I meant local geographically, so that the dad has it easy on the logistics side of things.

    When Mum had chemo when I was 11 (and my brother was 9), she and Dad decided to keep things as normal as possible ~ and she had her mother (retired at that point) to help with grocery shopping and meal preparation ~ so we didn’t go out much. Not everyone has that assistance :-( But I still remember a couple Saturday lunches that Dad took my brother and me out so Mum could have some quiet time ~ really stand out in my memory, as they were so very unusual.

    Of course, my mother was the sort who more than once went to chemo in the morning and work in the afternoon during that round (she was retired the second time she dealt with it). When she had the second cancer 25 years later, she sometimes walked home from the hospital afterwards (3.3 miles), as she was (in her terms) wired, plus the doctor had told her that good overall health would help as well. Her chemo was Friday for much of the day (she was often at the hospital for 6+ hours), and it was Saturday late afternoon to Monday morning that she felt awful. So I had lots of weekend visits where Dad and I went out to supper on Saturday, as she knew he liked the restaurants I chose and she could have the house to herself…. and the resulting quiet. Very quiet ~ she could read a page of The New Yorker (and that was about how long she could concentrate some weeks), doze, whatever ~ and know that Dad was having a good meal.

    The movie tickets for the children idea that other people had is good, too ~ kids that age love generally love the movies and it helps with the normal ~ and with staying a kid while their mother is dealing with chemo by doing what their friends are doing.

  74. 74.

    jeffreyw

    July 26, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    Pizza!

  75. 75.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    @gelfling545: I can’t help personally with driving the kids but I know she’s got a good support system there so they should be able to make that work. Plus, walkable neighborhood and public transportation are better than in some places so hopefully the kids can get around for the most part.

    Good idea for teen type food places. I’ll toss in a Subway or whatever gift card in one of the care packages.

  76. 76.

    Gex

    July 26, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    @Violet: This might be more than you want to do, but maybe people can pool together: house cleaning or a house cleaning service while she goes through chemo. It will be important while her immune system is down and helpful to the guy with a sick wife and children to deal with.

  77. 77.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    @Gex: A group of friends is already doing something together–not cleaning though. I don’t think we could probably swing that in addition. I’m hoping her friends who live closer can help with that. She’s also got some family nearby. Great idea, though.

  78. 78.

    Mike in NC

    July 26, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    More great shit going on in the Muddled East: US Embassy in Tripoli evacuated and personnel sent to Tunis.

    Will Republican assholes be on the Sunday bobblehead shows crowing about Benghazi? Bank on at least a dozen of them: McCain, Graham, McCarthy, Issa, etc. having their suits pressed tonight. Bibi will be on “Press the Meat”, I just heard.

  79. 79.

    Davis X. Machina

    July 26, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    @Mike in NC: Clearly the US personnel should have just stayed there. Like in 55 Days at Peking.

  80. 80.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    @Karen in GA:

    Oh, and not one person in my family bothered to tell me my 85 year old mother fell and broke her ankle a week ago. Mom needs surgery and they’re not sure she’ll be able to walk on it again. But for 85, hey — could have been worse.

    I’ve had estrangements from family members from time to time, but I can’t imagine anyone not sharing news of this magnitude no matter how distant the relationship. As for the broken ankle itself, and the surgery, that just sucks at any age. Best wishes to your mother.

  81. 81.

    Tommy

    July 26, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    @Violet: My mom helped my grandfather when needed help. Cared for him in his last days. It always stunned me cause my mom was always put down by the person she would later care for. My dad’s dad. I like to say my mom is a rock star. This is just one example of it.

  82. 82.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    @Violet:

    Maybe one of the gift cards could be for the iTunes Store so your friend can order up some music or apps that she’s been wanting.

  83. 83.

    Dog On Porch

    July 26, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    You’ve got a grass lawn? Forgive me, but I don’t recall your locale. Are you in Florida?

    During a lifetime spent in California, green grass yards have gone from suburban mainstream to sticking out like sore thumbs of stupidity. Unless mother nature waters them herself, green grass has no business growing. Drought tolerant landscaping is the only way to go.

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    @Violet:

    My plan is to send more than one gift package rather than send everything all at once. I can hunt down the movie gift certificates or something like that for the next one. I figure going through chemo is awful and getting a little package on a regular basis might cheer her up.

    I think this is both wise and brilliant. And may I just say how moved and inspired I am by you — doing this for your friend and her family on top of all the caregiving you’re doing for your own parents. Brava, Violet!

  85. 85.

    Cermet

    July 26, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Trying to fix my very high voltage power supply system – the design (by me) was supposed to easily reach over 240 kV (240,000 volts) and the damn thing barely reached 70 kV (70,000 volts.) I think the 15 kV power transformer can’t provide enough current – rated for 60 milli-ampere’s; so, I am now polarity matching a second 15 kV transformer to work in parallel to add extra current. This requires matching each high voltage terminal and to work really close to those high voltage terminals. Luckily this part is safe (but can get painful as I found out) – the 15 kV transformers are self limiting. Still, did screw up – so my hand is still sore after taking the full 15 kV … ouch. Talk about a muscle spasm!
    Once connected the second step up voltage system (which is fed by the (now) two 15 kV transformers) is deadly and I am very careful with that monster (its mostly under oil except for an output wire; still, if lucky, maybe the output will get at least 120 kV (120,000 volts.) Even if I get the thing working, not sure I really want to use it …not exactly a safe system unlike the original supply I had hoped to get working (this was a 250 kV power supply but had trivial and safe current.)

  86. 86.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    One thing that helped get me through when my dad was sick and then dying were the Griffin & Sabine books. If your friend appreciates beauty or art, she might really like the books.

    At that point, there were 3 books and I bought one to take with me on the trip to Chicago for each of my visits during a very tough time. If you aren’t familiar with the books, you should check them out in person at a bookstore. They are quite charming.

    They helped me, too, when my dad was dying. Although I believe to this day that what kept him going was that I was reading Finnegans Wake to him. It was my first* time of reading Joyce, but Daddy had loved it all his adult life. An amazing, unusual, and lovely thing over which to bond :-)

    *Far from last, however!

  87. 87.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Yes. This.

  88. 88.

    2liberal

    July 26, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    so does anyone have any updated data on the status of our sainted blogfather?

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    July 26, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    @Violet:
    My sister liked telephone calls. Just someone to share with. I would call her at odd times and she could call me in the middle of the night if she needed. She had people around her but some one she could bitch at/with that wasn’t judgmental(OK not judgmental all the time, after all she was my sister!) seemed to help. Now sis beat BC twice over about 5 yrs but the third time got her. So this wasn’t a regular thing but when she needed it. I lived 2500 miles away so couldn’t get there more than once or twice a year but the phone calls helped both of us.

  90. 90.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    @Tommy:

    That’s lovely to read. My father and my mother’s mother were bitter enemies from the day of my parents’ divorce (1947) until my grandmother died (1986). But toward the end of her life, my grandmother actually said some kind things about my dad — and toward the end of his life, he related a dream he had in which he and my grandmother totally forgave each other and just let it go. It was a very nice moment after a lifetime of bitterness and acrimony.

  91. 91.

    Karen in GA

    July 26, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    @Violet: And I neglected to say: may your friend have a quick and uncomplicated recovery.

  92. 92.

    Ruckus

    July 26, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    @Karen in GA:
    Ah yes. I think we all missed this.
    A wish for a very hopefully quick and total recovery.

  93. 93.

    brantl

    July 26, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    I think I love Kristen Bell. She’s alright.

  94. 94.

    WereBear

    July 26, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    @Violet: I’m so sorry to hear. You’ve gotten some excellent suggestions and all I can add is that we had a friend once appreciate the bright fleece throw we got her, as it was light and washable and just the thing to have in the treatment center as her body temp fluctuated.

  95. 95.

    Violet

    July 26, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Thanks, that’s very sweet. My parents are coming along so my time requirement there is slightly less. I’m still doing a lot of errands, accompanying to doctor’s appointments, dealing with the retirement community, etc. But they aren’t needing the daily help for daily tasks like they were. I actually had two days this week where I wasn’t there. Yay!

    @Karen in GA: Thanks, I hope so tool. Apparently they caught it early and it’s “the good kind”, if there is such a thing. I don’t think it had spread at all. So as these things go, she was lucky. I hope it all goes well and it’s as easy and uncomplicated for her as it can be.

  96. 96.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    @Violet:

    Yay!

    Ditto, this, cosign!

  97. 97.

    gogol's wife

    July 26, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Is there any chance that the autoplay audio ads are going to be disappeared? I can’t watch your videos because the audio is overlaid by horrific ads.

  98. 98.

    E.

    July 26, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Remember Cliven “Let me tell you about the Negro” Bundy? Seems his son’s in a bit of hot water involving burglary, weapons charges, and failure to appear in court — all of this apparently unrelated to his patriotic duties to graze cows at the public’s expense. His defense is “opiate addiction,” and plus he couldn’t make his court hearings because he was recuperating at the ranch after getting outpatient surgery.
    http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/las-vegas/bundy-son-facing-arrest-separate-criminal-case

  99. 99.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    July 26, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    @gogol’s wife: I wouldn’t count on it. The best thing to do is install FlashBlock in your browser. Then you have the choice of whether to see a Flash video or not (you just click on the box where the video would be to over-ride the blocking).

    (There are versions for FireFox, Chrome, and maybe others.)

    HTH.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  100. 100.

    ChrisH

    July 26, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    The high minds at Reason Magazine felt the need to respond to the Funny or Die sketch
    http://reason.com/reasontv/2014/07/25/mary-poppins-quits-the-rebuttal-w-remy

    The singing and dancing adds up to:
    If you pay people more then John Galt will invent a machine to do their job instead
    You obviously haven’t read Hayek
    Funny or Die offers unpaid internships so hah!

  101. 101.

    shelley

    July 26, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    @E.:
    You mean he didn’t find a way to blame Obama?

  102. 102.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m glad you had that with your dad. Also glad that you and I have a shared Griffin and Sabine history related to our fathers.

    Sometimes BJ reminds me of my freshman year in college when 6 of us at the dining table at the dorms somehow figured out that we had all gone to the same girl scout camp in 3rd or 4th grade – and we had all just met in our college dorm.

  103. 103.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Yes. I sometimes imagine (usually when I’m drifting off to sleep) a kind of huge Ballon Juice “mind map” tracing all the connections and links between and amongst us. I’m not visually skilled enough to draw one — it would take an Edward Tufte, at base — but I’ll bet it would be impressive! A view from FSM perspective, yes?

  104. 104.

    Suffern ACE

    July 26, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Yeah. I’m fairly urbane today. As a patron on the fine arts, I went to a body painting exhibit and artistic nude parade. It was tasteful.

  105. 105.

    trollhattan

    July 26, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Certain Juicers (you know who you are) will have a teeveegazm upon reading this.

    Nine new characters have been unveiled for the fifth season of Game of Thrones. The announcement was made via a video during a press conference at the Comic Con event in San Diego.

    Among those joining the HBO show will be Jonathan Pryce, who played a James Bond villain in Tomorrow Never Dies. Alexander Siddig, who’s starred in 24, and Oscar nominee Keisha Castle-Hughes will also feature. Pryce will play the High Sparrow while Castle-Hughes will appear as Obara Sand. Siddig is Doran Martell, the lord of Dorne and older brother to the late Oberyn Martell.

    Toby Sebastian has been cast as Prince Doran’s son, Trystane Martell, the heir to Dorne. Nell Tiger Free is Myrcella Baratheon, DeObia Oparei is Areo Hotah, Enzo Cilenti will be Yezzen, Jessica Henwick is Nymeria Sand and Rosabell Laurenti Sellers is Tyene Sand.

    –BBC

    I know jack about the new characters given I’ve never read any of the books, but have watched the show enough to know not to get too attached.

  106. 106.

    WaterGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Dear Front Pagers,

    Can we have a new thread? Pretty please?

    Sincerely,

  107. 107.

    trollhattan

    July 26, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    @ChrisH:
    Always comforting to know that 100% of “conservative humor” remains of the unintentional variety. They’re nothing, if not consistent.

  108. 108.

    JPL

    July 26, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    @Violet: I’m late to the thread but while my ex and I were in the middle of messy divorce proceedings, he was diagnosed with stage 3 (b) colon cancer. Basically he had a fifty/fifty chance. We stopped the proceedings and concentrated on his health which was 8 months. Long story short I made numbers and hung them on the fridge to indicate how many treatments he had left. If you plan on sending multiple packages, include a number. He had twelve treatments, each lasting three days, so the first was twelve. He loved it.
    After he was given the all clear signal, we proceeded to get on with on lives. He did plan on telling the judge that I only stayed cuz I was hoping. haha.. Once an ass, always an ass, I guess.

  109. 109.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 26, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    @Violet: Care package ideas: 1. Assortment of gourmet chocolates.
    2. Gift cards to CVS and the grocery store
    3. Fruit basket

  110. 110.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    @JPL:

    That speaks volumes about you, all good, that you were willing to suspend divorce proceedings while your soon-to-be-ex was battling cancer.

    My ex remarried about 15+ years after our divorce was final. He and his new wife were wonderful to me while my father was dying, and when Ken died suddenly, his widow invited me to deliver a eulogy. These things don’t always have to be contentious.

  111. 111.

    steve from Antioch

    July 26, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Interesting story about doctor who shot armed attacker:

    http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-pennsylvania-hospital-shooting-20140725-story.html

  112. 112.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 26, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    @WaterGirl: Until we can have a new page, I can give you a Caturday Kitteh!

  113. 113.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 26, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: When are you planning your trip to Massachusetts? I am going to California for a week.

  114. 114.

    NotMax

    July 26, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    @Suffern ACE

    Heh. Suffern has changed since last was there (potty stop after crossing Tappan Zee).

  115. 115.

    NotMax

    July 26, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    @Violet

    No one else has mentioned it, so shall chime in with a suggestion of a gift certificate for a massage.

    Or if $$ not too much of a consideration, same thing at a day spa for her and the daughters.

  116. 116.

    JPL

    July 26, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: The biggest mistake I made was allowing him to stay here last December for a few days because the sons were busy. He made a todo list for me on things around my house that could be improved. When the weekend arrived, he went to one of my sons house. When we divorced he thought the best way to divide up the kitchen items, down to the utensils, was one for you and one for me. At that point, I said take what you want. He was so distraught he called his attorney because I wasn’t doing it right. His attorney never called back and the ex complained cuz his attorney didn’t like him. haha
    Anyway, the numbers work because the entire family can see the progress being made.

    also,too.. He did mention that he would visit the sons more if he could stay someplace comfortable like my house. I said that I would hope he would visit his children because he wanted to.

  117. 117.

    Anne Laurie

    July 26, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    @Violet: Too early for you to know whether your friend will need caps, but I’ll put in a recommendation for the Village Hat Shop — their Sur la Tete berets, in particular, are comfortable to wear indoors even in an overheated environment.

    (I have really thin old-lady hair & extremely pale skin, so I’m always on the lookout for comfortable hats that don’t scream ‘medical accessory’.)

  118. 118.

    jackie

    July 26, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    @Violet: When my cousin was being treated for cancer, her request was for “no sympathy”. She wanted contact — email best — but only with uplifting content. We had the very best conversations about good and happy things for the rest of her life. I could count on her husband to keep me informed about health changes. I think that would translate to any care packages. But don’t forget the positive emails. (Of course I know some people prefer to have a lot of sympathy but when you’re trying to keep up spirits, sympathy can be hard.)

  119. 119.

    Anne Laurie

    July 26, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    @Dog On Porch:

    You’ve got a grass lawn? Forgive me, but I don’t recall your locale. Are you in Florida?

    Nope, just north of Boston. I agree with your opinion on lawns in general — spent years hand-building raised beds that now cover most of what used to be our front lawn, for instance. The “grass” that remains doesn’t get watered, and it doesn’t get cut until the opportunistic weeds start seeding, usually. The side and back yard areas are basically exercise areas for our dogs / a place where the Spousal Unit can sit & read on nice weekends, and for those purposes, “turf” really is the cheapest low-care alternative!

  120. 120.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 26, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    @Violet: Another thing you can do, find out her chemo schedule and call either on that day or the next. That really helps.

  121. 121.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 26, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Last week of August/first couple of weeks of September. If the Met gets locked out, which looks increasingly likely, I’ll have a few extra days to play with.

  122. 122.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 26, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: OK I will be back by then!

  123. 123.

    PurpleGirl

    July 26, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    @mayim: Looked at your FB page; wonderful pictures of kittens are always appreciated. I also bookmarked it to add to my list in the Chrome browser.

    Foster Dad John’s FB page is The Critter Room
    https://www.facebook.com/TheCritterRoom

    His cam is
    http://new.livestream.com/FosterKittenCam/TheFabulousFosters

    ETA: There are lots of patterns to be found on-line for crocheted or knitted caps for cancer patients.

  124. 124.

    Kay

    July 26, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    @ChrisH:

    If you pay people more then John Galt will invent a machine to do their job instead

    Why do they keep saying this? What is stopping them from “inventing the machine” now? They’ll be inspired to invent the machine if people make $10.10 an hour but not if people make $8.50 an hour?

    I don’t understand the machine threat, as a threat. I also don’t understand the “we’ll hire fewer people” threat. They have spare employees in these establishments? People they pay to just stand around? Every retail/fast food place I enter has just exactly the fewest number of employees they can possibly get away with.

    We have two employees, and each of them is busy all day. If we could fire one and still get the work done, we would have one, not two. We don’t have a “spare” that we employ just because we feel like it. I don’t think McDonalds does either.

  125. 125.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    @Kay: Kay, now you know that they hire out of the goodness of their hearts, so don’t lets annoy them. Or some other BS.

  126. 126.

    gwangung

    July 26, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Chinatown in Vancouver – full of good places. Also, there used to be a good crêperie on Robson Street for takeout.

    Maybe, but all the good stuff is now in Richmond.

  127. 127.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    @gwangung: I’ve always stayed pretty much downtown. I’ll take your word for it.

  128. 128.

    Kay

    July 26, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    It really does come down to that. They can’t even give them credit for being actually necessary and working. Unlike mean-spirited and ungenerous opinion writing, where there’s obviously a huge return on investment for the employer. Does Reason make any money? I don’t even think they’re self-supporting.

  129. 129.

    gwangung

    July 26, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Yeah, all our local friends take me out there whenever I stick my nose up there. Kinda tells me something.

    Night market’s always fun (three story duck!), but that’s seasonal….

  130. 130.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    July 26, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    @Kay: Employers have decided that employees belong only on the liability side of the ledger. In the past, they were seen as assets as well, and one hoped that they would at a minimum zero out at the end of a year.

  131. 131.

    Gvg

    July 26, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    MY uncle had chemo and radiation and really appreciated a super soft fuzzy throw I got him for Christmas. I really wasn’t sure but he loved it. I got the idea from my cousin telling me had taken all her soft fuzzy socks even though they were too small and girly because he was always cold then and so much made him sore. I discovered they don’t make the supper soft fuzzy socks for men or even women’s in sober colors like navy.
    when I had chemo I discovered ipad love. I also found I needed to be able to sleep for a few days after. my sister needed help with the pet care while I was an invalid and we could have used someone to do the lawn.I had always done that and enjoyed it but she didn’t so it was a burden. if there is some task your friend always does and husband doesn’t like, that might be something to arrange.

  132. 132.

    J R in WV

    July 27, 2014 at 6:06 am

    @Karen in GA:

    Better off by far without people like that.

    last email from sis years ago after death of mom: “Never use this email address again!”

    Yes, thanks, can do! Better off by far without people who can’t decide between whatever and hate…

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