First, before you all go nuts on me:
Lily and I took a ride out to Chatman and Harry’s farm to pick up some fresh eggs (they are just the best, especially the double yolks), and as always, dog is my co-pilot (for the record, I stopped the car for that picture- it was not a moving selfie- you can do that around here. Just stop the car in the middle of nowhere and have nothing to worry about).
I tried to run myself into the ground today. Last night I was up until about 4:30, and I did everything to fall asleep, including extreme measures- I streamed about 8 episodes of the Forensic Files on my iPad. That guy’s voice is so dull and monotonous it actually makes NPR announcers sound like morning shock jocks.
At any rate, I missed my check-up this morning because I slept until 9:30, so I called my Dr.’s office to apologize and reschedule, and the conversation went like this:
Me: Good morning, my name is John Cole and I slept through my 9 am appointment and I would like to reschedule.
Nurse Ratched (in this obnoxious snotty tone- the kind that makes you want to reach through the phone and punch the person in the neck): Well, I wish you would have called because I could have got someone else in.
Me (mentally): Did you just listen to a fucking word I said? I told you I FUCKING SLEPT THROUGH the appointment. Had I been up early enough to call you, I would have BEEN DRIVING TO THE FUCKING APPOINTMENT. ASSHOLE.
Me (actually): I just said I slept through the appointment, which would have made it hard to call you.
Nurse Ratched: I can get you in on the 18th at 1:30.
Nurse Ratched: *** CLICK ***
No acknowledgement that I was ok with that date, no goodbye, etc. For the record, this is the colleague of the nurse (who is actually very sweet but I am still pissed off about that level of incompetence) who sent me to the wrong fucking hospital two weeks ago. My parents love this doctor, and I like him as well, but his asshole staff is one fuck-up or one frown away from me saying to hell with them. Now that I think about it, they’d probably be thrilled with that outcome- I’ll sure show them!
Enough ranting. When I woke up at 9:30, I literally popped out of bed. The sun was up and blasting through the curtains and I was awake. Like- no rolling over and doing another hour. AWAKE. And I was not remotely tired. It was like that five hours was the best five hours of sleep I had ever had and I was bursting with energy.
I decided to spend the day running myself into the ground so I would fall asleep easier. Detailed the car, messed in the garden, sorted some stuff out in the garage, cleaned the basement and took out some recycling, did laundry, walked the dogs four times, went to the farm, and then made dinner (grilled chicken breast, grilled asparagus, rice pilaf, tomatoes/onions/cuke salad). So far I am wide awake and every muscle in my body is sore from activity the likes of which they have not seen in a while, so we’ll see if it pays off with some sleep.
Had my first “urge” to drink today and it really wasn’t an urge, per se, but when Lily and I were leaving town to head to the farm, it was around five-ish and a guy on Main Street was getting out of his car after work (he was obviously a construction worker or something) and was carrying a 12 pack, and I thought to myself, “Today would be a nice day for a cold beer after working all day.” Before I even finished the thought I had an immediate second thought “Oh yeah, you can’t do that. One beer would probably turn into six months and a shitload of vodka and scotch and drunken stupidity and who knows, I might even make some bad decisions.” Then Lily made a retching sound and I thought she was going to throw up on my lap (which she has done before and it is always a fun good time suddenly noticing that your crotch is warm and wet and looking down and seeing a gooey mass of dog vomit on your junk, but this time she was just hacking) and forgot about the whole thing until now.
On a personal note, I am now the thinnest (consider my weight on a spectrum of zero to Tunch and understand that thinnest is a descriptive term and not actually attached to a specific weight that I consider to be “thin,” just that weight wise I am the thinnest) I have been since I broke my shoulder 4-5 years ago and put on all the lbs. I’m a few weeks away from having to bring clothes out of storage. At any rate, I’m feeling pretty good. Also, just a few more weeks before MNF!
Hey, good to hear you are home and alive!
I just had to stop by to say what an awful person Ben Smith is. He was just on CNN, with a rapid-fire, robotic speech about how mean CNN is to Israel and how much CNN loves Gaza. He needs a good punch in the throat.
it’s a shame that good doctors have terrible staffs. That is the exact reason I left my last doctor and moved to one who had a more reasonable office staff. It makes a world of difference. Also, agree about MNF. Long dry spell between the basketball playoffs and the beginning of football.
Lily! Awww…so good to see her. Love her! Good to see you too, John. Glad you are doing well.
Your body may not know how to sleep without the alcohol. Maybe read up on sleep hygiene ad see if any of the suggestions sound like they might work. Lots about dim lighting, minimizing blue light (no screens for an hour before bed), consistent bed times, etc.
I recently read something about drinking kefir before bed helps sleep. Given your current gut issues it might help with that since it’s fermented.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Sleep well Cole.
@Josie: A friend of mine is dealing with that. She’s got the kind of medical problems that stump doctors and has been to a lot of them in her search for someone to treat her. She found a doctor she likes and who can help her but his main nurse is awful. The nurse has even lied to other doctors’ offices–like when my friend finally gave up and needed her files sent to another doctor’s office, the nurse lied to them and said my friend never sent the signed form. Of course my friend had emailed it, faxed it and mailed it and had confirmation of all three.
I don’t understand how doctors can have such terrible staff. I guess in small offices there is not a vehicle to get feedback on your nursing staff or something.
You want to be careful with all this activity. Good for you, no doubt, but too much and you’ll end up with your foot sliced open by a broken jar of mustard, or putting your new car in a field, or….or some new catastrophe that could only happen to John Cole.
Football just means more people at the Seahawks training grounds, which clogs the streets for me to get to the lake and go sailing.
You sound terrific, different, — like yourself, only more so.
I am pulling for YOU .. awesome excellent Cole who deserves such good happiness.
(Inarticulate but sincere good wishes)
As was mentioned upthread, the blue light from your computer/ipad, etc. is really bad for sleep. You can install an app on your computer that will dim the screen in the evening but you should try not to do too much computer viewing before bed and definitely not in the middle of the night. Definitely read up on sleep hygiene. It’s made a huge difference for me.
John…wanted you to know I decided to quit drinking around the same time you did. It’s been both a slog and a relief…mostly relief. So, you are helping ME tremendously, as is everyone else here who is sharing their experiences and advice. Thank you.
I do think that having f.lux installed on my computer helps me sleep better. I bought a SleepShield filter for my iPad and I just ordered one for my iPhone today. WereBear has been working on her sleep hygiene a lot lately, so she can probably help you out with some more suggestions.
Don’t forget the classics: hot bath (preferably with lavender), warm glass of milk, journaling, etc. And a pre-bed routine at a set time really does help clue your brain in that it’s time to start getting ready to sleep.
(I slept like crap last night, but that was because I had to have a difficult phone conversation with my brother today. He’s still clueless as fuck, but at least I got it off my chest.)
Nurse Ratched served my family member once .. She would intimidate the patients so nastily to cow them. By phone or in oerson .. patients lived in fear of her. Turned out it was to cover for her own incompetence. Don’t know who complained, but she was the only gatekeeper to the only clinic, so we had to put up with it for a long time until she was canned.
Generally speaking, the doc(s) doesn’t want to have to fool around with screening/hiring/training new office staff, particularly if the current staff is good with reimbursement/insurance issues. It takes time, time is money and patient care, they don’t want to have to fool around with administrative/HR issues, etc etc. Long as the obnoxious staff doesn’t hurt cash flow too badly by causing loss of too many patients (especially patients with good insurance), they (the staff) are pretty bulletproof.
@Mnemosyne: I’ve found that magnesium oil before bed has helped me sleep. Same with a bath with epsom salts. I got magnesium oil at Whole Foods but I think it’s available a lot of places.
I’ve got Twilight installed on my Android phone. I actually find that when I turn it up so it’s very orange/red and read it in bed after I turn out the lights it makes me sleepy right away. I think the red light signals my brain or something because it works almost instantly. If I can’t sleep and grab the phone I get sleepy really quickly.
@Violet: I declare that sounds just like what we experienced as described in #13 above. She’s out there somewhere, lying and heckling patients to fend off knowledge of her incompetent work habits.
There’s nothing like the smell of Dog Vomit.
Smells like Victory.
The hardest thing about sobriety for me was the CLARITY. But the second-hardest thing was the sleep issues. Someone turned me on to the concept of sleep hygiene and it made a huge difference for me.
The principles, as they worked for me, were: (1) the bed is only for sleeping or reading before sleep; (2) planning at least a half hour of wind-down reading time before sleep; (3) showering at the end of the day (this is just a me thing, since I haven’t seen it recommended elsewhere–I got used to it when I was in Japan–but it is very relaxing); (4) reading only physical books or non-glare e-ink book reader in bed, never a laptop, iPad, or smartphone–there are some studies that show that the light the latter devices give off is disruptive to sleep, but they’re also interactive rather than passive and you want to train your brain to gently shut down in bed. There are a bunch of other suggestions as well around caffeine intake, not going to bed too full, developing meditation techniques, etc, which you can find on the Google. It works differently for everybody.
The upshot of all the sleep hygiene, though, is that not getting enough sleep is crazy-making in the long run, and that some ritual behavior can help you carve out a space for good sleep, at least most of the time.
Congratulations! Keep in mind that one of the hardest parts is going to be the habit change. This website has some good tips on how to plan to succeed in changing a bad habit.
Sleep problem? Don’t forget the Smeckler’s Powder.
Sounds like you’re doing pretty well, all things considered, Mr. Cole. If your docs permit it, you might consider melatonin to help you sleep. I found it to be a big help, especially after I gave up drinking; unfortunately, I had to stop when they put me on coumadin about a month ago
Damn, I think she’s here now. Encountered her in March. She banged her fists on the desk repeatedly all the while shouting what do you expect me to do? I politely replied you can calm down. She got up, stomped out of the exam room, slammed the door behind her.
@Betsy: Maybe she became the nurse that my friend had to deal with. This woman lied to everyone from the doctor she worked for to my friend to other doctor’s offices. My friend filled out the required forms and the nurse lost those as well. My friend came in with her medical records and the nurse lost those. Highly incompetent and then she blamed my friend for not filling out forms or not sending in the right documents.
Thanks for checking in Cole. You continue to be in my prayers.
Had lots of experiences like with with Dr.’s staff. Drove me away from several practices. Mr. Cole, Have you tried melatonin for sleep. I’ve been advised by Medical Pros. that it is what your brain produces at night to tell your body to sleep. Very safe, non-narcotic, non habit forming, etc.. etc..
Been considering following your lead.
Lake Burien or Lake Washington?
(Them’s me old stomping grounds.)
Speaking of doctors and stuff, I’m doing health insurance paperwork. Now that’s a fun evening.
What the fuck is MNF? Also, all of this sounds really great for you John! you’ve probably not hit a real resistance level of feeling the need for alcohol but thinking these positive thoughts and feeling this energy will help when the time comes.
Cheers (Paul, trying to stop at +4)
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@JohnM: The folks for whom melatonin must be used carefully are those talking an antidepressant that is an SSRI (and sometimes an SNRI, which may be a combo RI. Melatonin is a precursor of serotonin and an excess of serotonin is not a good thing. Thus consult your doc for dosing advise for the melatonin. Really.
Oh, and don’t take it if you take warfarin either, as has been mentioned upthread.
How well and fondly I recall the f irst year of my first sobriety
Football. Do You Speak It Motherfucker?
@Paul W.: Monday Night Football, one of the most addictive drugs in America.
Villago Delenda Est
I’m feeling OK and looking forward to another season of World Champion Seattle Seahawks football!
@Paul W.: MNF is Monday Night Football.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Most of the serotonin in the body is in the gut. John mentioned he’s having some intestinal issues so that might be another reason to be cautious about the melatonin. Things like that can have impacts you’re not prepared for.
I think I’ve got a gut that’s sensitive to that kind of thing because various supplements or medications have impacted my mood at various times. I think they’ve affected the serotonin in my gut and that’s what affected my mood.
@Violet: Soooo…. not Esports? Cool, you guys have fun with that. If it isn’t streaming live from someone’s computer I don’t really care.
Watching soccer or basketball though, that’s a whole other thing! (no hate, just boredom with the whole football thing)
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Violet: Lots of neurotransmitters broadcast to and from the gut, which is why emotions can have GI effects. And vice versa – it’s also part of why being pretty GI sick affects mood in a way a head cold/sore throat/bronchitis may not. It’s among the many important reasons to have good gut flora.
@John Cole +0: Good plan.
John Cole +0
I have a vial of melatonin that Genine sent me a while back, but I am not using any sleep aids. Basically, I am not putting anything in my body anymore unless it is food or water or I’m told to by a competent doctor. Had enough years of self-medicating.
I was just going to post that video. Rand Paul’s never moved that fast in his life before. He didn’t even finish chewing that sandwich bite.
And asshole Steve King proceeds to grab the woman’s hand who he’s talking to and tells her that her English is good. Considering she said she’s been in the U.S. almost her whole life that isn’t surprising. What a dumbass.
Smart plan to keep busy John. Hopefully, your body will get used to being without alcohol soon and let you get some more sleep. Being without sleep makes me crazy.
Bob In Portland
Amir: This column is pro-Russian, but it provides a lot of detail and seems to be fairly accurate. The linked story goes into detail about the surrender of the 400 or so Ukrainian soldiers who had been trapped in what was called the Southern Cauldron. There are apparently more units in the Cauldron that haven’t surrendered. Part of the speculation for this is that there is a unit of Polish soldiers among the surrounded, and there is potentially a problem with Poland having to admit that they’ve sent men against the rebels.
@John Cole +0: And that’s the smart thing for now. You’re getting physically rebalanced, and you’ll level out with time.
You rock, BTW
Just finished my 5K run. I walk 10K a day now, and run 5K every other evening. I’ve been in not-fat-but-not-fit limbo for a while, and decided to finally pick a side. With all the other work and projects I’m doing, I crash out at 11pm or so, rather than 1am, but I keep waking up earlier and earlier. This morning it was 4:45. Crack of dawn is nice time to get up, but pre-crack-of-dawn just pisses me off. I’m not a fucking farmer.
Good work dude. I’ve tried to quit drinking, but I find that I get too violent. I’d rather be drunk than in prison. You got anger issues? I’d love to know how that’s going.
I find that reading silly fiction like PG Wodehouse before bed helps me sleep better than reading news or non fiction.
I agree with most of the advice above, but would just add- warm milk contains tryptophan (not sure of the spelling and too lazy to google) which helps make you sleepy. Warm bath helps because when you fall asleep, your body cools down a few degrees. By heating yourself in the bath and getting out, it helps you on your way. I have also found that counting backwards from 100 and taking long slow deep breaths helps you get into a better situation to fall asleep.
@John Cole +0: Sounds like a smart move.
Wow, that is impressive. I am tipping over the edge into fat territory and I’ve been walking 3 miles in the morning the last couple of weeks to start my weight loss plan. Unfortunately, my allergies are going nuts and I can’t really walk outside anymore until probably mid-September. So, I have to find a new workout plan.
I’m certain you could stream NFL football on your computer if that’s what you wanted to do.
@? Martin: Don’t forget to incorporate a rest day now and then, including not walking that 10K/day. It’s the only way your body can recover. And cross-training with strength work, balance work and other types of cardio can make you fitter as your brain and body don’t get into a rut with exercise.
@lamh36: ZOMG! SHE HAS EBOLA!
Here’s a picture of a black man stealing a white baby. #waronwhites
Karen in GA
Here’s something weird — I can be lying in bed wide awake, but sometimes if I just fiddle with a thread on the blanket, or do some little thing like that with my hands, it relaxes me and I fall asleep. No idea why.
@John Cole +0: That makes sense – you might want to consider the suggestion upthread of drinking some kefir a half-hour before bed; the probiotics may help your GI tract and the calcium may help you sleep.
@Violet: Yeah, the weekends tend to be a different routine. 2 mile walk to the bakery for coffee in the morning, but that’s about it, other than the chores and honey-dos.
@askew: I have to take Claritin many days for the allergies. They’re worst for me in the spring, though. Not bad now.
Glad to read that things seem to still be going well. I hope that you’re asleep as I write this as that seems to be the goal.
I am very annoyed with Amazon because they briefly offered a bunch of Wodehouse books for Kindle (including several Mulliner books) and then withdrew them. Grrr.
@Villago Delenda Est:
FTFY. Twelve days until Opening Day in the Premier League.
Villago Delenda Est
@burnspbesq: Eeek! Attribution fail!
Awesome, keep it up Cole!
Claritin does nothing for me except give me dry mouth. I stick to Advil Cold and Sinus which works 10 months of the year but August and May are just awful for me. I try not to go outside during those months.
Try lemonade…that stuff is my downfall since I quit drinking. I’m on a fluid-restricted diet, so I have to drink that stuff out of a tapered glass that’s only half-full, since I can’t stop drinking it once I start.
Great picture! So nice to see Lily again, even the back of her head.
@John Cole +0: Valerian tea. Celestial Seasonings makes one called Sleepytime EXTRA (the extra being the valerian).Otherwise any Valerian tea will do.I like one called Easy Now, too. Just drink for sleep, don’t make it a regular beverage.
As I said the other day, your neurotransmitters are all screwed up. One of them is serotonin a major regulator of sleep. Serotonin acts as an anti-depressant, among other things, and your brain has been producing scads in order to counter-act the depressive effects of alcohol intake. If you think of serotonin as the brain’s volume control knob (neuro-signal intensity) yours is cranked to 11. So, naturally, you can’t nod off easily.
What you’ve got to do is re-establish your circadian rhythm. People have been suggesting melatonin since that’s the neuro-chemical that says to the rest of the brain and body, “nighty-night, it’s time to go to bed.” Taking melatonin is not a good idea, at the moment. What you can do is retrain the brain by:
1. Turn the TV, computer, and most of the electric lights off at 9:00 PM. Melatonin release is heavily connected to ambient light levels. Too much of the later inhibits release of the former.
2. Sit quietly and do something relaxing. Pet the pets. Read a book. Take a hot shower. Anything that reduces stimulus to allow serotonin uptake and reduce serotonin release. (Equivalent to turning down the stereo volume.)
3. At the same time every night, go to bed. Aim for 10:00 but by all means before 11:00. Turn the lights off. You want it dark. If necessary put a towel over the windows to make it dark.
4. Get comfortable. Close your eyes. Breath slowly and deeply, inhaling through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
5. After a subjective year of staring at the inside of your eyelids conclude Anoniminous is an asshole (which is possible) and doesn’t know shit (which is true about some things, but not about this.)
Part of alcohol withdrawal syndrome is insomnia and it’s going to take some time to re-train your brain. Even just resting quietly has direct benefits and indirectly provides the space for the brain to re-set and return to normality.
When my daughter was dealing with a large thyroid nodule and we were looking up endocrinologists and throat surgeons in almost every instance the doctor was said to be just fine but he or she had a lousy staff, and in dealing with the doctors we chose, we found it to be absolutely true. I have no idea why.
“Comment awaiting moderation.”
I used to sail there in the 60s. Good times.
Ohhh, poor Charlie Pierce.
Bwahahaha. Suffer, you jackass. Yes, your team is worse than the Mets. That’s right, worse than the motherfucking NEW YORK METS.
The Sox suck. The Celtics suck. The Revolution suck (which pains me, because Jay Heaps is a Duke guy and a genuinely good man, but I’ll find a way to deal). The Patriots are about to get old all at once. The Bruins … ahh, who gives a shit. The Cannons are mediocre, and they’re now going to lose to Rochester this week and miss the playoffs because their only player who is worth shit, Rabil, is out for the year with broken foot. BC lost at the Frozen Four to fucking UNION COLLEGE, and you know what, they deserved to lose, because fucking UNION COLLEGE was the better team (Johnny Hockey won the Hobey because forwards always win the Hobey, but Gostisbehere is better). The only good team in Boston is HARVARD basketball, and you don’t even get to enjoy that because the coach is a Dukie.
I used depression to hide my dealing with anger issues. I got help for both and life is much better. Much, much better.
As John has told us the detox is one thing, you still have to fix the underlying problem, that which causes you to drink, or me to be depressed.
Of course I know nothing more about you than the comment I answered so this advice is worth what you paid for it. But you can get help(John’s problems notwithstanding), you just have to make sure the helpers know up front why you drink. And you may think it is anger(and of course you may be 100% correct) but there could be other reasons, like what makes you angry in the first place. That’s what happened to me, I had no clue about my real issues but boy did suppressing them not work well.
Any way good luck no matter how you cope.
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
@Betsy: Weird, I have some coworkers like that, the one you most put me in the mind off may be on the way out because she unleashed the nasty on a 911 operator. Oops.
@Karen in GA:
It either focuses your mind or turns it off. I learned decades ago how to meditate myself to sleep. If my brain is going 90 mph it is actual work to do but if I can refocus it to something innocuous it is easy. I think this may be what is happening to you.
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
He says she speaks English well, then follows up with something about how she can’t pretend to not understand him, it’s a SUPER condescending and racist attempt to whine about being taken out of context (on DACA, which, of course, what context you fucking liar).
Remember, the ugly American is convinced that them foreign folk all understand English but just pretend not to.
@Another Holocene Human (now with new computer):
I’ve often wondered if Ugly American is just a more polite way of saying republican asshole.
And after all of this talk about sleep hygiene, G insisted on watching TV past 10:00 pm. He can fall asleep with the TV, and I can’t. Argh.
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
@burnspbesq: Oh for crying out loud-FFFUUUUUUUCK YUUUUUUU
The Sox are absolutely killing me this year goddamnit. Who gives a shit about Harvard? Shall I deduce that you went to Duke and you’re all about how it’s an Ivy and it somehow makes Duke special. Fuck the Ivies. And fuck Harvard Square while we’re at it, it’s turned into a boring shithole.
I wonder how it feels to be wrong about everything, Burnsie? Hell, I’m tempted to start following box scores to see if the Red Sox start turning a corner just because you slagged them. Have your fun now, cuz it won’t last. Eventually SCOTUS will return from vacation, summer media silly season will be over and you’ll be back to making Baghdad Bob-like predictions about the motivations and intent of our 1%er betters and their footmen and handmaidens. Also, I find it ironic that someone in California is wasting this much energy hating on a smallish university city half a continent away. You must not get out much. Most Californians never shut up about the weather, outdoor activities, all their food options, blah blah nauseatingly happy blah blah.
Peter Thomas (narrator of Forensic Files) is the greatest voiceover artist in the history of civilization! If I had his voice, I’d rule the world. Color me SHOCKED that John uses him as an insomnia cure.
@Another Holocene Human (now with new computer): I begged him. I begged him. But no, Obummer wouldn’t listen to me and arrest the Red Sox front office. I mean, at the very least, he could have unleashed the dronzes.
Whoa. I’ll be damned…I use Forensic Files as one of my weapons against insomnia too. Also, old Law & Order eps work for me too.
The good ole intertubes reminding us once again that we aren’t alone or as strange as we thought.
Don’t know why 2+ hours non-stop on the riding mower exhausts me so, but it does (tropical sun is certainly a factor). Plus the 90 minutes of sympathetic vibration in both arms afterwards.
Tonight and tomorrow the allergies will kick in. Sudogest works wonders for that, and is dirt cheap (ten 24-hour pills for $1.99). Not as slam bang effective as real ephedrine was before that became verboten for non-prescription use, but as close as anything I’ve tried has come.
/aged person problem
Nice of your healthcare practitioners to be so, umm, understanding. Heh. Assholes.
Craig is talking to an African/UK comedienne named Andi Osho, riffing about Lady Di, rehab, and speaking ‘British’ whilst Black…I will miss the Ferguson show when he finishes up in Dec.
when I kicked heroin and alcohol simultaneously the last thing to come to normal was sleep. at one point I was ready to throat punch the next medical professional who told me “nobody ever died from insomnia.” sleep will come. I tell folks new to recovery that I can’t promise them things will get better. I don’t know that. I’m not in charge of outcomes. hell, if I was in charge some scientist somewhere would invent no consequences dope and booze and I could get loaded again. I can promise you this though in complete confidence and sincerity. if you stay sober, things will get different.. for most of us, different is way better. it was for me. you did this day. do the next one. that’s how it happens. it’s cliché, I know, but it’s the only way that I’ve found that works.
@NotMax: I’ve been scanning all our old negatives. Speaking of tropical sun, right now I’m scanning pics from Maui.
“Over the 6 years of follow-up, men who reported having difficulty falling asleep and non-restorative sleep had a 55% and 32% increased risk of death due to heart-related causes, respectively, compared with men who did not report experiencing these sleep problems.”
(And now it’s time to take my own advice and go to bed. Night all.)
@Bob In Portland:
I wonder what you make of this.
Sobriety seems to have made you chatty. At least, in blog posts. I’m falling asleep just writing this, so be well. Stay strong .
You slept through your appointment and called in with an excuse that is lame when a 20-year old uses it. Did you expect her to compliment you? Accept blame? You have a group of enablers here to tell you she was a bitch. I hear a working woman who is tired of dealing with people who can’t get their shit together.
@Mantooth: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
@Mantooth: You poor thing. There there…you have my sympathies! I hope you get help for that.
@Mike E: Wes Mantooth is correct. Cole fucked this pony, the nurse didn’t. This is old hat for her.
Damn straight – the scene in 5 easy pieces when Jack Nickolson tells the waitress to “hold the toast between her legs” because she won’t take his special order -hooray for him – he;s sticken it to the man – but who he’s actually stickin it to is a minimum wage worker who is only following company policy and who can’t have any choice.
So she may be Nurse Ratched – or maybe she’s also a subject of the system …
@Corner Stone: No argument from me…my teenage daughter had been worried about an issue, made a hard to get appt, drove 80 miles (with her boyfriend) and spaced on the actual time slot. Missed it by that much. Did I say anything? Nope. Except for, “These things happen.”
She somehow got it rescheduled and saw her doctor. Hope the lesson sticks.
I like what I read. Good Luck, stay focused.
I often feel like an idiot. I just got a new tablet. Ordered a Otter case. They are expensive. Bulky. But I have an Otter case for my phone and it does in fact protect the darn thing and that matters to me. But I’ve been sitting here for the better part of two hours and I can’t figure out how to even open up the case to put my tablet in it. Like I said, at times I feel like an idiot. Seems it shouldn’t be this hard to figure out.
Sleep is vastly overrated. Sleep too much, you stop seeing the ferrets under the bed and the clowns hiding behind the trees.
@sm*t cl*de: I think John quit drinking to stop seeing the ferrets and clowns. On the other hand, the GOP is still around so there’s still clowns. Oh well…
@Tommy: I use a S-View cover on monster phone. Love it.
Monster Phone, aka Samsung Note 3.
@sm*t cl*de: Well I wish I could sleep like a “normal” person. I don’t sleep much. Just got a Jawbone Up24. One of those health wrist things. What is unique about it is it has a sleep mode and I don’t know how it does it, but monitors your sleep patterns. Only had it two weeks but my sleep patterns are even worse then I thought.
My only hope is my mom has the same sleep issues I do. Somebody to talk to about it.
@BillinGlendaleCA: That is what my phone came with, or close to it (I have the same phone you do BTW). An Otter case is totally different (you can Google it). And since I posted that previous comment I still can’t figure out how to open the darn case to put my tablet in it.
Babymetal – Head Bangya
J-Pop with Marshall stacks.
Completely brilliant, or the most WTF thing ever? We report, you decide.
@Thlayli: I’ve never understood the Japanese society. I want to be careful not to stereotype an entire group of people, but they seem to be into stuff that I can’t really understand. I am a little “off” and into things most people might find strange, so this is saying a lot.
@Tommy: I like the S-View cover since it doesn’t all much bulk to the phone, it replaces the stock back cover on the phone. And it has the S-View window so I can see how many steps I’ve taken per day(min 10k).
@Tommy: I’ve only been to Japan once, we stopped in route to Korea, the culture is a bit strange. I enjoyed my visit, but it’s odd.
Congratulations. It will take a while for your body to adjust, but it will.
San Pellegrino Sparkling Blood Orange is my go to drink after a hard days work.
@lamh36: “You’re very good at English…” No FUCKING way did King say that!
Watch out for drinking dreams. Those scared the shit out of me the first couple months. I’d have vivid dreams about getting drunk as hell and wake up in a cold panic sweat, thinking it was a hazy memory of the previous night.
The panic is actually a good sign. Real life was more like regret and guilt, not panic. When I remembered.
He said it multiple times. I couldn’t watch the whole thing.
I just started watching Ferguson in the last year and regret being late to the party. He is an excellent interviewer and has interesting, off-the-beaten-path guests, especially non-superstar writers. I thought Andi Osho was great.
Whoa. Just looked for Andi Osho on YouTube and found Ferguson from last night with the commercials stripped out. That’s service!
Andi Osho at 30:30, speaking British while black at 34:15. Bonus: Guy Pearce is the first guest.
I wish I could help with the sleep thing. One thing that helps me is to have music on. Nothing too distracting – in this case not something you want to sing too but it has to be more than just instrumental. I have a Lorena McKennitt that works well. She is singing in much of it but I can’t understand the words (if they are even in English).
Paul in KY
@Ruckus: I think ‘Republican asshole’ is more polite than ‘ugly American’.
Paul in KY
@Tommy: Why do you need a case made of sleek otters? You need to stop trying to keep up with the .01 percenters, Tommy.
Gotta love dogs — they know just whent to distract you from your thoughts, huh?
A friend of mine suggested the Sleepy Time Tea to me once when I was having trouble sleeping. I think just the warm liquid and act of making and sipping a cup of tea relaxes me and helps me sleep. I don’t think there is anything special in it just an mint herbal tea.
I used to be such a great sleeper. Eight, nine hours a night no problem, no matter what. Then menopause hit me. I was in hysterics from not getting enough sleep. It was awful. My doctor was worthless. What somewhat worked for me is going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning. I am not where I used to be but I am not hysterical anymore.
As for the digestion issues, I can relate. Mine is getting worse as I get older. I had my gallbladder out in 2003, which has contributed to my problems. I take an enzyme with my meal, which seems to help when I remember to do it. Getting older is terrible.
Ditto — though, in retrospect, he’s not supposed to be a hero. You’re supposed to realize by the end of the movie that he’s an immature asshole who’s being a dick just because he can get away with it.
But I cringe every time I see someone lionize that scene as some kind of rebellion against the system. Really, berating a truck-stop waitress is your idea of fighting the Machine?
I remember reading that the dreams are an important part of your brain resetting itself to not drinking anymore. It’s basically reinforcing what you’re thinking to yourself every day about what the consequences of starting up again would be.
I’ve been to a few doc’s, where it’s amazing how rude and off-putting their office staff is.They act like you’re coming in for your appointment has just ruined their day. And the doctor’s completely oblivious.
It’s great to see that you are out and about!
Put down the glass 25 years ago. Lost 43 pounds in six months. It was amazing how many alcohol calories I was drinking. Now the greatest challenge has been dialing back sugar extensively since it crept up on me as a replacement dopamine spiking drug.
Hang in there. Are you going to meetings? When I got clean is was a minimum of one a day because sleeping had become non-existent, and if there was anything with a bit of sugar in it, I ate it. Not sure where you are located but there are meetings there. Hard to believe that it’s been 10,698 days for me, one day at a time.
Take good care of yourself.
Do you work? I would love to have whatever gig it is that you have.
Hope the recovery goes well. It is a never-ending process. My son’s counselor told me that I should ask “how are you doing today?” as opposed to “how are you feeling today?” If he says, “I haven’t used today and I made my meeting, but I feel like shit” then my response is supposed to be “You’re doing excellent!”
Addiction is a fucking bitch and you don’t need douchebags like me reminding you. I’m thinking of you. Good luck, my man.