• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

This fight is for everything.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

“woke” is the new caravan.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

People are complicated. Love is not.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Sports / I Endorse This Message

I Endorse This Message

by John Cole|  August 25, 20146:03 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Sports

FacebookTweetEmail

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Some Updates on the Ebola Epidemic
Next Post: Jean Redpath, 1937-2014 »

Reader Interactions

68Comments

  1. 1.

    Violet

    August 25, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Heard Joy Reid on MSNBC call him Snoop Lion. I thought he changed his name back to Snoop Dogg?

  2. 2.

    raven

    August 25, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Ya’ll need to see Reverend Al at Michael Brown’s funeral.

  3. 3.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    August 25, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    http://youtu.be/pMKXNDrQF1U

    Rev Al

  4. 4.

    KG

    August 25, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    @Violet: i think the best bet is to just call him Snoop. or Calvin, once you get to know him.

    ETA: in all seriousness, it seems that when doing reggae he is Snoop Lion and when doing rap he is Snoop Dogg.

  5. 5.

    D58826

    August 25, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Another example of the super powers that hose young black dudes have

    A coroner’s report on the death of a handcuffed black youth contradicts the police account, but still concludes he shot himself. According to police, Victor White III died on March 3 of self-inflicted gunshot wounds while handcuffed in the back seat of a Louisiana police cruiser. Six months after his death, the Iberia Parish coroner agreed in his report that White shot himself. However, he noted that White was shot in the front, not the back, which is what police had claimed. According to the police statement, White’s hands were cuffed behind his back, so a self-inflicted wound to the front seems nearly physically impossible. The coroner also failed to test White’s hands for gunpowder residue, yet still supported the police’s ultimate claim that White shot himself. The coroner found gunshot residue in White’s wound, but not the kind that close-range shots can produce. “You can’t make me understand how my son took his left hand, when he was handcuffed behind the back, and shot himself,” said White’s father. “I don’t believe a thing they’re saying at this point.”

    I think the father is right to be skeptical. The coroner’s report doesn’t even pass the Louie Gohmert standard for stupidity.

  6. 6.

    Mike E

    August 25, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    @Violet: Not sure if he’s roaring more than barking here.

  7. 7.

    Violet

    August 25, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    @D58826: That kid with the knife that the cops shot last week in another suburban town near St. Louis, they handcuffed him after he was dead on the sidewalk. The guy taking the video keeps saying, “They’re cuffing him! He’s dead and they’re cuffing him!” You could see it clear as day on the video.

  8. 8.

    KG

    August 25, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    @D58826: “he was shot four times in the chest and twice in the head, obviously it was suicide.”

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)

    August 25, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    @Another Holocene Human (now with new computer): “How do you think we look when you can’t come up with a police report, but you can find a video?”

  10. 10.

    burnspbesq

    August 25, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    @D58826:

    Jeezus. The complaint in the wrongful-death action practically writes itself.

    So does the indictment, but I’m a little less optimistic about whether that’s going to happen.

  11. 11.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    I am so happy the Seahawks do not have Pittsburgh’s problems.

  12. 12.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    @KG: Someone’s been cribbing from the Chilean coup plotters’ guide to getting rid of troublesome elected officials.

  13. 13.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    August 25, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    @D58826: skeptical, this is what we call hyperbolic understatement, right?!

  14. 14.

    Alison

    August 25, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    I would like all of my news commentary read by Snoop.

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    August 25, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    @D58826:

    Another example of the super powers that hose young black dudes have

    I didn’t realize that they were telekinetic. That seems like the only way the kid would be able to shoot himself in the front while his hands were cuffed behind his back.

  16. 16.

    Baud

    August 25, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    @Alison:

    I would definitely watch that Sunday morning news show.

  17. 17.

    kindness

    August 25, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    Snoop is a Steelers fan? Where does that come from?

  18. 18.

    D58826

    August 25, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    @Another Holocene Human (now with new computer): right

  19. 19.

    jl

    August 25, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Did he say ‘Pissburgh’? I hope that nice Mr. Cole doesn’t talk like a ruffian.

  20. 20.

    Baud

    August 25, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    @kindness:

    He’s not a Steelers fan. Their offensive coordinator is just so bad that Snoop felt the need to say something.

  21. 21.

    Dog On Porch

    August 25, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    Ha! I thought Snoop was about to weigh in on something profound (after all, they buried a young man in Ferguson today). I know him only by reputation, being admittedly unfamiliar with his works. But I did see a clip of him on some Swedish talk show a few years ago eviscerating Bush, or Cheney, or McCain (I forget) and his eloquence did my heart good. Instead, what do I get? He’s everyone’s beer swilling brother-in-law, sitting at the other end of the couch and griping about a football coach. Thanks for that, I needed a laugh.

  22. 22.

    burnspbesq

    August 25, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    I didn’t realize that they were telekinetic.

    Yup. Rogue P12s, the lot of them. Not even Bester can control them.

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne

    August 25, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    FWIW, my congressman (CA-28) sent me a survey today asking if I support the transfer of military equipment to police departments. I did the “only appropriate items like bulletproof vests” option. Interestingly, there was no yes, send ’em everything! option. The closest option to that was that large urban areas should have it, but not small departments.

  24. 24.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 25, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Tweety just compared John McCain and Lindsey Graham to Cary Grant’s crazy cousin “Teddy Roosevelt” in Aresnic and Old Lace (CHARGE!), then said, “Great men, but I don’t agree with them on that”. What else is there to them, and how do either one qualify as “great”?

  25. 25.

    Luther Siler

    August 25, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    I could listen to Snoop say “muuuhfucker” all day long.

  26. 26.

    khead

    August 25, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    I wish the Steelers would fire that motherfucker. Not that it’s gonna help this year.

  27. 27.

    Baud

    August 25, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    The difference is, The Rough Rider actually led charges.

  28. 28.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 25, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    @raven: Yes, I have heard bits and pieces and need to listen to the whole thing. His a great orator.

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    August 25, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Well, we certainly could send John McCain off to dig more locks for the Panama Canal. He was born in the Canal Zone, so it’d be appropriate, and if memory serves the lock expansion project is running somewhat behind schedule so additional shovel would I’m sure be welcomed.

  30. 30.

    Alison

    August 25, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    @Baud: OMG Snoop interviewing McCain. Make it happen, baby Jesus.

  31. 31.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 25, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    Good lord. Tweety: “It seems like Obama hasn’t been on the job lately…”

    Because he hasn’t convinced the Saudis to bomb ISIS

  32. 32.

    Emma

    August 25, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    @D58826: We call those “Latin American suicides,” since dictators of every stripe always have friends who “commit suicide” in interesting ways.

  33. 33.

    Roger Moore

    August 25, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Because he hasn’t convinced the Saudis to bomb ISIS

    They don’t need to bomb ISIS; preventing anyone in Saudi Arabia from sending them money would probably do more good.

  34. 34.

    dmsilev

    August 25, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Tweety needs to be wired up to a high-voltage zapper, with someone standing by who has instructions to push the button every time he says something stupid.

    Due to budget cutbacks, that someone will eventually be replaced by a timer that starts and stops at the same times as Tweety’s show. Nobody will notice the difference.

  35. 35.

    Jay C

    August 25, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    @Emma:

    “So the General committed suicide??”
    “Yes. He was depressed.”
    “By shooting himself in the head”
    “Yes.:
    “THREE times??”
    :He was VERY depressed!”

  36. 36.

    JPL

    August 25, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    This is a long read but it’s worth a read. I tried to send it to Anne but Windows doesn’t like me.
    There Are No Angels — What The New York Times Won’t Tell You

  37. 37.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    @Dog On Porch: Eviscerating any of the three is fine in my book. Preferably all three. Pay per view optional.

  38. 38.

    PsiFighter37

    August 25, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    OT, but are we getting an Emmy thread?

  39. 39.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I again renew my plea for someone to accidentally drop a 16 ton weight on Tweety, preferably when he’s in a conversation with Chuckles the Toddler or McBomb.

  40. 40.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    @PsiFighter37: The Emmys are dead to me, have been since they went with Picket Fences over Star Trek: The Next Generation more than 15 years ago.

    /trekkie pout

  41. 41.

    Mnemosyne

    August 25, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    @JPL:

    I have at least two of the characteristics Michael Brown had: I was a handful as a child who defeated every child gate my parents tried to put up, and I got into at least one scuffle in high school. Also, alcohol passed my lips before I turned 21 (though I’ve never been much of a drinker) and I graduated high school with a C+ GPA because I sucked at math and science.

    But I’m a white woman, so I fucking guarantee you that those details would not show up in a profile of me if I were shot dead by police. Of course, I almost certainly wouldn’t be shot dead by police in the first place, since I’m a white woman.

  42. 42.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 25, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    @PsiFighter37: @Villago Delenda Est: I never really watched the Emmys, but I just started watching OITNB, and I’m kind of curious to see if Red and Crazy Eyes get their awards. Also, too, seeing this stuff all over the internets is giving me Breaking Bad nostalgia

    @Villago Delenda Est: and I don’t think Tweety is even close to being the worst of the lot, it’s just his unhinged id makes him say what they’re thinking more bluntly than most of his kind

  43. 43.

    Patrick

    August 25, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Good lord. Tweety: “It seems like Obama hasn’t been on the job lately…”

    The same Tweety who was dreaming about George W Bush ending up on Mt Rushmore. I couldn’t possibly care less what Tweety has to say about Obama.

  44. 44.

    muddy

    August 25, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    @Luther Siler: I very nearly got Snoop as the voice for my gps. Only extreme cheapness held me back.

  45. 45.

    JPL

    August 25, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: I loved Picket Fences!

  46. 46.

    PsiFighter37

    August 25, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Breaking Bad should sweep all the drama nods, IMO…the acting, the writing, and the show in general was basically at its peak when it concluded. Hard to imagine any other show that more than tripled its ratings over the last half-season like it did. I’m pretty sure if they had figured out a way to scrounge out another season without losing what made the show so epic, it would’ve broken all sorts of cable show viewing records (beyond what it may have already done).

  47. 47.

    rikyrah

    August 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Rauner loses another round in term limit referendum bid

    By Rick Pearson, Clout Street

    Republican governor candidate Bruce Rauner lost another round in his bid to get a term limit referendum before voters today when an appellate court upheld a Cook County judge’s ruling that kept it off the November ballot.

    The appellate decision came a day after Rauner held a Springfield news conference to try to pressure the courts to issue a quick ruling on his effort to ask voters whether to limit state lawmakers to eight years in office.

    The 1st District Appellate Court said the proposed constitutional amendment question was invalid based on a previous Illinois Supreme Court decision that found term limits to be a matter of the “eligibility or qualifications of an individual legislator.”

    As a result, the appeals court said, the proposal did not fall into the narrow window in which proposed petition-driven state constitutional amendments can appear on the fall ballot. The state’s highest court previously has ruled that such proposed amendments must affect both the structure and procedure of the General Assembly.

    The ruling comes just days before the Illinois State Board of Elections is scheduled to certify the Nov. 4 general election ballot.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/politics/chi-rauner-loses-another-round-in-term-limit-referendum-bid-20140820-story.html

  48. 48.

    The Thin Black Duke

    August 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yeah? Is that as bad as the Oscars awarding Best picture to Ordinary People over Raging Bull?

  49. 49.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Deleted to rewrite in a way that makes more sense.

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    @Jay C:

    I’m going crazy here. I recognize the dialogue but can’t place it. Cursory Google is no help.

  51. 51.

    Dog On Porch

    August 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    A sudden, deep thought from a lifelong NFL fan: I would not pay to see Roger Goodell punched in the mouth, but I would chip-in to see him splashed with mud from a passing truck.

  52. 52.

    PhilbertDesanex

    August 25, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    @Roger Moore: Saudis are pro-ISIS. The Royals are doomed. Come the deluge, I sure hope we hit the kill switch on their 300 F-15s.

    @muddy: you make me want a GPS

  53. 53.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    @muddy:

    When I got my first GPS a few years ago, I was sorely tempted by the “Mr. T” voice. Like you, I chose not to spend the extra money, but it would have been a lot of fun to hear “Turn LEFT, fool!!” on the way to your house :-)

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne

    August 25, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    @muddy:
    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I once had a yoga instructor who was a former drill sergeant and was never quite able to get rid of that rasp. I kept expecting him to say, “Give me downward dog, maggots!”

  55. 55.

    Steeplejack

    August 25, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I have some friends with Eddie Izzard on their GPS. Hilarious.

    ETA: And a couple of years ago I read about someone who scoured Obama’s recorded speeches and remarks to put together a GPS voice file for him.

    ETFA: Sorry I will miss you on your swing up the Eastern Seaboard!

  56. 56.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 25, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    @The Thin Black Duke: No, probably not, but then again, that was a /trekkie whine.

  57. 57.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    ETFA: Sorry I will miss you on your swing up the Eastern Seaboard!

    I am too! Especially since, IIRC, I owe you several drinks for tracking down my grandmother’s “roses” song.

    Guess I will have to make a return trip fairly soon.

  58. 58.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    ETA: And a couple of years ago I read about someone who scoured Obama’s recorded speeches and remarks to put together a GPS voice file for him.

    Okay, I admit I would pay cash money for that.

    “Turn left into … (er) … Blue America … (um) Taking a … detour … into the awesome Red America … You have reached a crossroads … Please proceed, Govern- , um, Siubhan …. The young man at the intersection? Could be my son….”

  59. 59.

    Steeplejack

    August 25, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I have been wanting to ask: have you played the song, and is the arrangement okay?

    And finding that song was my Google coup of the year

  60. 60.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Yikes!! I think all that came up was the sheet music, but yes, it was note-perfect. I’m so sorry, I don’t remember any audio.

    (Or maybe you meant, have I played it on the piano? No, but I can read music in my head.)

  61. 61.

    Elizabelle

    August 25, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    What night is good for you for a meetup in DC? We got to try to get one going. Ciao.

    ETA: could be “nights” too. Options is good.

  62. 62.

    ASV

    August 25, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    @Violet: That suburban town was St. Louis itself.

  63. 63.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    I’m sorry to say, the best looks like Monday (Labor Day), or the day after. Tuesday would actually be better if that works for others. I need to be in Boston by the Friday, and want to make stops in CT and RI on the way.

    On the assumption that we’ll meet up in Alexandria, I’m looking for hotel accommodations nearby so I don’t have to do much driving in unfamiliar territory. Suggestions welcome.

  64. 64.

    Steeplejack

    August 25, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    There was no audio. I meant did you perform the song yourself.

    And even just reading music, some arrangements are better than others.

  65. 65.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 25, 2014 at 11:03 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    I’m just so glad to have all the words, and confirmation of the tune. After 50++ years of seeking, one isn’t fussy about arrangements.

    It’s perfect, and I am forever in your debt.

  66. 66.

    coin operated

    August 25, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    @muddy:

    I very nearly got Snoop as the voice for my gps. Only extreme cheapness held me back.

    Awww…shit…ya missed it dog!!! Now I gotta reroute this mutthafuckka!!!

    Hell…I’d be tempted to pay for that.

  67. 67.

    Paul in KY

    August 26, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I wouldn’t come at them with a knife.

  68. 68.

    henqiguai

    August 27, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    @burnspbesq (#22):

    Rogue P12s, the lot of them. Not even Bester can control them.

    Whoa! Way dead thread, but had to leave a tribute regardless! A The Deconstructed Man reference; blast from the deep past. Thanks, burnsie!

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • StringOnAStick on People Are Highly Overrated (May 28, 2023 @ 12:48pm)
  • lowtechcyclist on People Are Highly Overrated (May 28, 2023 @ 12:47pm)
  • Miss Bianca on People Are Highly Overrated (May 28, 2023 @ 12:46pm)
  • Geminid on Sunday Morning Open Thread: The (Debt Limit) Beat Goes On (May 28, 2023 @ 12:44pm)
  • Miss Bianca on Sunday Morning Open Thread: The (Debt Limit) Beat Goes On (May 28, 2023 @ 12:43pm)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup on Sat 5/13 at 5pm!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!