Lucy MacCalmont, at Politico:
President Barack Obama designated Tuesday as Women’s Equality Day, noting that women have made many advancements within the last century, but his administration is “committed to tearing down the barriers” that still exist.
“…[W]omen are succeeding like never before. Their contributions are growing our economy and advancing our nation,” Obama said in a statement on Monday, noting achievements in education, business and the armed forces. “But despite these gains, the dreams of too many mothers and daughters continue to be deferred and denied.”…
Obama said Women’s Equality Day, which marks the day in which the 19th Amendment was certified and gave women the right to vote, is to celebrate the achievement of women and promote gender equality…
“In the 21st century, a mother should be able to raise her daughter and be her role model—showing her that with hard work, there are no limits to what she can accomplish,” Obama said.
“When women are given the opportunity to succeed, they do,” Obama said.
Apart from remembering that progress has been made (if not always in a straight line), what’s on the agenda for the day?
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
Scrolling through DKos headlines, read “shifty” Scott Brown as “shitfly”. Heh.
Speaking of New England’s most famous Masshole, I heard he has pretty good poll numbers? WTF.
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
Not all the news this summer is bad.
today is my 36th anniversary.
we’re going out to celebrate.
there’s a new seafood bar on the island that i’ve been wanting to try out.
i don’t know where she’s going…
Just back from a rally against the Swedish Nazi Party, who were in town in advance of the upcoming elections here in Sweden. Needless to say, it was awesome. The people of Norkopping were a sea of middle fingers and turned backs, rainbow flags and anti-racism banners, jangling keys and chants. The friends I was with said they could barely hear anything the Nazi guy was saying. The church on the same courtyard put up a big video screen displaying peace and tolerance messages, and they rang the bell that in old times of war was a signal for incoming danger.
I saw one girl who couldn’t have been older than 20 get dragged off by the cops – I assume for trying to jump the barricade between the protesters and the Nazis – and they cordoned her off in a sort of makeshift cell area, constructed out of bike racks. There she proceeded to pace like a caged animal, and whenever it was time to drown out the Nazi guy she shook the bike racks with both hands and screamed at the top of her lungs.
Amusingly – in that sick sort of way – I learned later that things he was saying were well within the realm of the mainstream American right. Immigration is the root of our problems, multi-culturalism is wrong, Sweden for Swedes, blah blah blah. He said all that and he got turned backs and middle fingers from Swedes. If he lived in the US he’d be prominent blogger and Fox News contributor.
5, count ’em, 5 calls from “Microsoft Security” within 20 minutes on Monday. Finally left the phone off the hook.
Damned crooked, lying scam artists really play hob with the blood pressure sometimes.
The woman that succeeded in my job as a sports administrator 30 years ago is now a fire chief in Arizona. I love watching her progress on the book of faces.
@NotMax: Do what I do: tell them you have an Apple IIc.
Floyd Mayweather knows how to shut them up.
He broadcasted tape of the world welterweight champion struggling to read a promo for their show, which set off much schoolboy sniggering until a colleague protested. This followed a stunt by 50 Cent, who challenged his former friend and business partner to read a page from Harry Potter without stumbling for a bet of $75,000 for charity (which hardly raises the respectability of the episode).
Mayweather – who did not finish high school and might well have learning difficulties – responded the only way he knows how outside of taking these guys out with a left hook: by flashing his cash. He Tweeted the cheques he received for his past two fights, against Saúl Álvarez and Marcos Maidana, showing the world and his tormentors that they earned him a total of $72.3m.
I feel for ya. I have to deal with comcast retention today. I called customer support over the weekend because there was a problem & while fixing the problem the reps real concern was selling me a great new package that was cheaper than what I currently have. I agreed provided the sent me an email detailing the changes, they did not & yesterday I found out it was more expensive.
It’s Primary Day in Florida, meaning switch-hitter — as in party affiliation — Charlie Crist will get the nomination over former state Sen. Nan Rich to run against Gov. Dickwithears.
There’s also a nasty fight going on in the Miami-Dade County Commission race for my district, pitting smarmy teahadist Lynda Bell against Daniella Levine Cava. The mailbox and cable channels have been full of their campaign ads and it’s really been vicious. I’ll vote on the way home and then take a long shower.
@Mustang Bobby: You’re cutting edge there.
Happy Women’s Equality Day
– on the led topic:
Oh sure, insult dicks by comparing them to your governor! Women have it soooo easy in comparison . . .
Go women. Of course I was always for empowering women. But when my niece was born, the first female born on my side of the family in more then 100 years (yeah, I don’t know what is up w/ that). Well I am even more for “girl power” and yes, yes, yes, empowering them to be anything they want to be.
@Schlemizel: I so wanted this to be a race between Nan Rich and Rick Scott, but the Florida Democratic Party is the Washington Generals of politics. When Sen. Bill Nelson is your most exciting candidate, there’s a problem.
@OzarkHillbilly: Oh you shouldn’t mention Mayweather on Women Empowerment day. Background, in fact I am a HUGE boxing fan. I can’t stand Mayweather for a number of professional reasons. But I also knew he had something of a checkered pass hitting women, in fact spent almost six months in jail, on a reduced sentence for battery (against the mother of a few of his children I think) not that long ago.
I now can’t seem to find the longform article on all his legal problems, but the man is a serial beater of women. And I don’t mean pushing them. I mean beating the shit out of them. He talks about them being his “property” like his cars. That he “owns” them for life. It is some pretty sick stuff.
At some level, but not really, I am surprised he has (1) pretty much gotten away with it and (2) he is still a big PPV draw in his sport and many folks seem to “like” and “respect” him.
You know, just thought I’d throw that out there.
Ummmm, I think your problem is you live in Florida. I can empathize, I live in MO.
@Tommy: Didn’t know that. Don’t follow boxing much. I just have a good friend who grew up poor, inner city, with a schizophrenic for a mother, AND severe dyslexia at a time when it wasn’t even recognized. He has read a total of 2 books in his entire life (Huckleberry Finn, and Black Elk Speaks) He is also one of the most intelligent people I have ever known (now dealing with his own schizophrenic/alcohol issues)
Hence I despise people who make fun of others because of their supposed “stupidity”.
As a Florida refugee I concur! The por state is so screwed in so many places & a lot of them start with politics. I was shocked when we moved there at the ‘quality’ of candidates. In a place with that many people they should be able to do so much better. The first election after the move I lived in Brevard County and on election night Brevard was unable to report complete returns because several thousand votes went missing. They showed up late the next day and were counted and nobody questioned why they had disappeared, where they had gone or how such a thing could happen.. The whole place is a banana republic held together only by Federal money.`
@OzarkHillbilly: He goes after his former girlfriends (many the mothers of his children) time and time again and also their new boyfriends himself, but also has a tendency to use his bodyguards. The story I can’t find the URL for took like 5,000 words to detail all his has done. I know in our society and legal system rich and famous people can get away with a lot of stuff, but it was still stunning even with that said he has gotten away with what he has.
His last contract was with HBO and before his fights they did their 24/7 series where they well follow him 24/7. The guy comes off as almost likable, if not so full of himself I don’t have words. Funny how that often seems to be the case with individuals that beat women.
Now I think he is under contract with Showtime.
Again it shouldn’t stun me, cause he is a Money Maker (the nickname he gave himself), but you’d think neither would want to be “in bed” with the dude.
I’ve had a tedious, depressing two days dealing with my mentally ill and MS handicapped sister, who needs to be removed from the foreclosed property she’s squatting in and basically refuses to go. We’re going to have to find her an accessible apartment, pack her up and carry her out ourselves, because trying to reason with and respect her autonomy has been a disastrous failure. And, because I am the closest adult relative, guess who gets to be the heavy.
And because she is disabled and on Medicaid, I get to listen to her screeching about her poverty when she in fact has a higher income than me right now and more resources for help. That she refuses to avail herself of because she thinks her children and her ex-husband’s new wife (who has been a saint) should spend all their time catering to her. 2014 hasn’t gone well for me either, but at least no one has died.
Husband says I can open the door for him today.
Women’s Equality Day sucks.
God that sounds grueling. Be strong.
I can’t be happy about this, and it’s upsetting me.
All I want is to work out what a decent person is and be that.
Then for bonus points I’d like to function like apparently a normal person…
I’m looking at a pattern developing (is two a pattern when it’s the most recent?) where I try to engage with ye olde ‘dating scene’, talk to somebody on OKCupid and get to meet them at a third-party, safe place.
Because women have to be able to meet dangerous males at a safe place for fear they will be hunted and killed.
And then I have a long talk, often a very nice one, all kinds of encouraging. Talk of meeting again, things we might do. I’ll go away optimistic.
And then I’ll discover it was a pretext to get safely away from me before delivering the news that it ain’t a thing.
I am autistic.
I can’t handle this. I don’t get the ‘tells’ and I react like I’m being told the truth and encouraged…
I read about guys like this prizefighter and my brain just leaks out my ears. I don’t want to live in a world where those males do whatever they want, but _I_ am the monster.
I don’t want to become more and more bitter until I hate women, don’t particularly like men, can’t get into homosexuality even though I’ve given it a fair try, and starve a little more month by month (poverty: it’s food I’m talking about there) while waiting impatiently to die.
That’s happening. I need to ride out an obvious downswing before passing any judgement, but I have to somehow make peace with a world where I am biologically driven to mate with women (team up with ’em, delight in pleasuring ’em, get perspective from ’em) and in which all my closest friends are women, but where it’s normal and correct for women to outright lie to me on first contact so they can safely get out of my presence and reconsider.
I can logically see the necessity of the strategy, but it’s killing me, just killing me. And there is NO way I can acknowledge it once recognized, without making things even more toxic and weird! D:
Iowa Old Lady
@satby: Good for you for helping her though. It can’t be easy when she’s so hard to deal with.
@Another Holocene Human (now with new computer):
That says more about the citizens of New Hampshire than it does about Brown.
So today I should celebrate a woman’s role in the economy by visiting the strip club, eh?
@Southern Beale: @Iowa Old Lady: Thanks! I’m obviously not looking forward to it, and since she’s non-compliant on her medicines and therapy she will enter a nursing home probably within a year or two. When we’ll go through this all again. I may need to have her declared incompetent to manage that time when it comes.
@Applejinx: You need to tell all this to your doctor. You’re not just autistic, you sound like you also have depression. There are resources, ask your doctor for help or a referral to a psychiatric social worker.
Florida Primary Day.
Need to get the vote out.
Did you know Rick “Medicare Fraud” Scott actually has two primary challengers facing him? The more viable candidate vs him seems to be Elizabeth Cuevas-Neunder, so I’ve been trying to get any registered Republicans around here to vote for her, since Scott doesn’t even deserve to win the damn primary.
Mrs. Schlemizel works with disabled kids, their family (or for brief periods the school system) carry a very heavy burden of care for the ones really severely disabled. I always wonder when she talks about the problems who will care for these kids as adults, when their parents are gone. That is a hell of a burden to have to take on & it often falls to a sibling. I have a great deal of sympathy for you, that is a shitty job you have and you are a saint for not just walking away. I hope it goes better than you anticipate.
@Applejinx: Dating is hard – especially at dating sites. It may not get easier as you get older, either.
Get companionship where you can find it – don’t try to get “dates”. Go out and do things you like that other people like, and meet similarly-minded folks there. You’ll meet people in a more “natural” environment, they’ll have friends of friends, etc. You want people to see you as a human being, not a “date”.
Hang in there. Bad patches always end eventually. I hope yours ends quickly. :-)
Today would have been my father’s 100th birthday!
Happy Women’s Equality Day!! Here’s hoping real equality hurries up and arrives soon.
Russian troops captured in Ukraine were there by accident. Shocking!!11
It’ll be interesting to see what comes out of the Petro Poroshenko and Vladimir Putin summit in Minsk – if anything.
(Who figures this conflict is far from over.)
@satby: I’m cautious about telling it so bluntly to the therapist I see. She’s part of the problem: she’s ‘on the inside’ and thinks I’m the most fucking amazing thing ever. So do female friends in the program (I’m a 12-stepper, firmly aware that all this IS part of the program I’m working, otherwise I’d totally have bailed far sooner).
I just flashed on an important thing about it, though. It’s much as if I was looking at myself and going ‘I have naturally large biceps (or whatever), it looks like I would make a good arm-wrestler. AND YET I WRESTLE NOT, OH WOE’. It’s like there’s an extra load of misery and guilt loaded into my failure and I’ve not been able to work out what vector it’s coming from, but I just got a clue.
I got raised to believe passionately that I had to solve ALL my problems myself and be totally self-reliant and not ever ask for help because I was totally normal and okay in every way and if I didn’t succeed it was because I wasn’t trying, which is bad.
Some of that was a mistake in that I do have autism. I was NOT totally normal, I’ve got differences that cause me to miss things other people easily observe (while I can do things others can’t). Also, other members of my family have been grappling with the ‘everyone must be totally selfreliant’ thing and finding it bullshit: my corporate programmer brother got reasonably wealthy believing this and now thinks it’s very inadequate.
But that means on the one hand I’m getting ‘you MUST BE normal’, from sexist society I am getting ‘you MUST win girlz and be a real man, especially if you’re not gay’, and specifically from my upbringing I am getting ‘if you have wonderful capabilities and you’re not using them you are EVIL’.
That’s the bit I didn’t spot until kinda today, really. That’s the brain-circuit that’s been triggering super hard every time I ‘do all the correct things’ attempting to date and be normal, and then see it implode. I bet if my family were more into siestas my pressure on this would be less.
Since I was raised to believe I was evil if I wasn’t trying to do what I ‘obviously was totally capable of’, these days it fucks me up real hard when I try to do that and run into the damage caused by American sexism and the cultivation of a society where, if unchecked, men COULD well meet a woman and go ‘I’ll take that one now’ and then stalk the crap out of her.
It’s not nearly so much years (decades at times: over two years now) of frustration. It’s that every time someone says ‘aww too bad! You are a good man and should not give up, you have so much to offer!’ my brain’s trained to interpret that as ‘go forth and succeed, then, or you are EVIL for NOT TRYING’. And the first thing people will do generally is try to ego-boost, and this is why that always, always, hurts me worse.
Gotta think on this one a while I reckon, probably run it by my sponsor who knows me real well. yeah. Also, none of this in any way argues against women’s equality. Hell, it would be easier if women were truly equal, except they’re not and the messages they gotta wrestle with are just as troubling as mine (and more systemic, I think).
@satby: Is there an Adult Protective Services agency in your state who can get involved? Sometimes they can be a lot of help and expedite getting the right people involved.
@PaulW: Down here in Miami-Dade, we have a nasty battle going on in a county commissioner race. Incumbent and teahadist Lynda Bell is being challenged by Daniella Levine Cava and it’s been vitriolic to the point that two crocodiles in the canals quit the business. In other words, typical local politics in the county.
@mai naem: I agree about APS. We had really good luck with them helping my brother when my mother died.
@satby: A good friend of mine has a mentally ill sister so I have seen close up some of what you are describing, including a 12-hour vigil overnight in the ER while when she was temporarily psychotic after having had surgery a few days before. They were trying to find someplace that would admit her, and no one would. I thought that night would never end.
My friend had called me at 7pm, crying because she had already been in the ER with her sister the previous two nights and she just didn’t feel like she could face it alone AGAIN. So I hopped up, changed out of my PJs, and stayed with them all night in the ER, and I tell you what, it was a total eye opener for me. I had no idea the mentally ill were treated as less than human, even in our nice little college town.
But the drain on my friend seemed to never end until she finally got her sister into a group home, so she’s had some respite. Although it’s still a strain, it’s much less so now that her sister is situated.
Anyway, I feel for you. Wish there was something i could do to help!
Sounds like you’re dealing with a lot. That you’re making the effort is something to be admired.
Not sure this will help but have you read Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams? (She’s autistic.)
Anne Laurie: Quite an affecting song and a good choice for Women’s Equality Day. I’ve been watching a series on the First World War and the song brought to mind the points made about women taking over manufacturing of ammunition and other things.
Wesley LoweryVerified account @WesleyLowery·
CNN: New audio reveals 10 shots fired at Michael Brown. Cluster of 6… A pause… And then 4 more http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/26/us/michael-brown-ferguson-shooting/?c=&page=1 …
@rikyrah: LGF has been covering that.
If the right people cared, the kill shot happening after the pause would raise some serious questions.
@Cervantes: I’ve read all that stuff. That was the big enlightenment for me about ten-fifteen years ago.
Honestly, I can deal with the frustration okay for as many decades as I need to (or have: I’m 46), as long as I get to skip the crushing guilt of failing that goes along with it. I might have talked myself into another little enlightenment, which is welcome around here.
Thanks for the good thoughts, folks. Might be able to turn this stuff into something useful somehow.
As for this:
Given that you know how the deck was stacked, I hope you see your way to rejecting the guilt, if you have not already.
Interesting timing for Women’s Equality Day. Sunday I was at my 91yo mother’s house going through a box of stuff from my late father’s desk drawer when I found my paternal grandparent’s passport. Yes, “passport,” singular. In 1955 my grandfather had a passport with all his information and picture, and then a picture of my grandmother and her name, and that was all she got – just a little bit more attention than his left eyebrow.
@Applejinx: I so hear you about the messages that say “You can and should do it. Period.”
I’ve been struggling with it myself. I’ve realized that while I may have been the most competent person in the room, I was still a teen, or was being put under too much pressure, or what have you.
When we are told we can THINK our way out of any situation that may not be true… and it doesn’t mean we can find the world cooperates with our brilliant plan, either.
So admitting we can’t do this or that is FINE. We can’t! And we can stop beating ourselves up for failure.
See, shit like that makes me want to be tolerant and accepting even when stuff hurts my feelings.
Women are (different but fascinating) people, not farm animals or appendages.
I think the differences would be wonderful even if biology was not splitting my skull half the time with ‘VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!’ and the differences of males are neat too and have their place, but historically they’ve done really strange things to social behavior.
That’s one of the strange things. She was part of your grandfather’s passport? And very likely saw nothing wrong with it, and loved him greatly: but still, the underlying wrongness of it is a big problem.
@Belafon: From the article I read, it sounds like the FBI cares.
If you don’t feel like you can talk about this stuff with your therapist, you should find another therapist, preferably one who is experienced dealing with adult autistics. Therapy can be frustrating if you’re not talking to the right person, but if you can find someone who both likes you and is willing to call you on your bullshit, it can really change your life.
I agree with aimai that you may have some underlying depression (and who wouldn’t?) so you may want to consider medication. I was very lucky that I was given Wellbutrin (buproprion) because it turned out that I have ADHD (one of the reasons I was depressed) and that’s the best one for ADHD. If you go that route, make sure that any psychiatrist you see knows up front that you’re autistic so they can prescribe properly. I know your program and sponsor will probably be against you doing it, but sometimes people need medication to get them to the point where they can work on their problems productively instead of (as I was) being unable to do anything but cry for the entire therapy session.
As far as the internet dating thing goes, 2 is a very small sample size. My now-husband was the 14th guy I met for coffee after he answered my ad.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@satby: Try to get some rest. It sounds harrowing. I hope you can perhaps get some assistance from APS.
@Applejinx: It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Even a neurotypical person would have a hard time dating in recovery or if depressed, for example, because of the problems of full disclosure, “what do I tell and when?” You should talk to your sponsor about how to navigate this, I’m guessing those tips about when to reveal your addiction may also be applicable to your autism. You may want to consider backing away from online dating for now; navigating disclosure and privacy online is a really tough thing.
However, regarding the “signals” disconnect that you are having trouble with, there may be a few steps you can do to improve things. Someone up thread mentioned joining groups where you could meet someone doing other activities. There is a company called Events and Adventures that was advertising in the Boston area for outdoor to indoor activities. I think they’re nationwide in urban areas. Double dating someone you meet with a neurotypical friend might also help. He or she could maybe let you know if your date is interested or merely being polite. That way your hopes and expectations won’t get too high, while also giving you the comfort of someone familiar so you can relax.
Bob In Portland
Malaysia wants to know where the air traffic tower recordings are.
RE: Women’s equality day.
A couple years back I came across an article from a local paper about my grandmother, that was written upon her passing. (she died like like 15-20 years before I was born) It talked about how she, and her friend were the 1st female workers at the big factory in town. The story said that after the two graduated high school, they would go to the plant every day, for like 3-4 months, go in, and ask if there were any jobs available, then sit outside the plant the rest of the day until finally one of the people in charge got sick of being pestered, and found a couple jobs for them.
Sometimes you got to make your own equality, and unfortunately for many members of our society that still holds true.
Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)
@16shellsfroma30aught6: A bunch of American citizens are obsessed with Sweden for Swedes, judging by newspaper comments sections.
Why they don’t just move there beats–oh, no marketable skills? I guess that would put a damper on emigration plans.
@Schlemizel: Thanks! Just back from work, and I appreciate your support!
@Mnemosyne: @Applejinx: I think there are dating sites for specific groups of people too, possibly there’s a soul mate for you Applejinx and she’s having the same problem because she’s on the autism spectrum too. You may want to look into whether a dating site for spectrum folks exists. And what Mnem says too.
Remember, you aren’t a failure from dating troubles (hell, if dating is the measure then I’m an ABJECT failure ;). You could just be fishing in the wrong pond.