Another beautiful day here in the northern panhandle of West by God Virginia, and I took a drive to Harry and Chatman’s farm after hitting the library, grocery, and doctor’s office in the thriving metropolis of Wellsburg. No rain, and I iced early in the morning so the shoulder pain was the best (the least) it has been in a long, long while. Got in 15,000 steps today, which is over seven miles, and the girls are just totally wiped out.
At one point this afternoon, I went to Walt’s house with the girls, scooped him up for a walk and handed off Rosie, then went next door and we convinced Holly to go on a walkabout with us. We went to Harald and Kim’s, who were off at work so we dognapped Smudgie (yes, people in Bethany in my circle of friends have been known to walk into other people’s houses when they are not homeand walk their dogs without them knowing- I’ve woken up from a nap before and Lily and Rosie are nowhere to be found because Walt has ‘borrowed’ them for a few hours to go to the park or on a walk), their alien-like Boston Terrier (he potties by lifting his back legs off the ground and using the front two legs as a bipod- he’s really the weirdest dog I know, but adorable):
We then walked to my mom’s house and forced her to walk Ginny and Guessly with us, and created a big dog walking parade. It was kind of amusing.
Mom and dad had their 46th anniversary today, went out to dinner, and on the way home, mom picked up an iPhone. First things first- she holds the damned thing like it is a live grenade. I’ve never seen such a smart person with such a tenuous grasp on technology. I tried to facetime her while she was in the room, and she immediately said she hated it because she didn’t want people knowing what she looks like. I had to point out that the only people who would facetime her would not only be her friends, but her friends who also had facetime. At that point, she asked my dad to call her from his chair that was situated three feet from her chair so she could “test the volume” on the ringer. I didn’t bother to point out to her that she could test that without him calling, so I just let him call her. He calls, it rings three times, and I start to show her something else and she got feisty and said “Wait, I have to answer my phone.” At this point I just lost it with her- “No you don’t. It’s dad calling you. He’s sitting right next to you holding his phone, you moron.” She responded (and now she was just making shit up because she realized I was right and she didn’t need to answer the phone)- “I want to practice answering it.” I just looked at her with equal parts contempt and pity.
At that point I just got up and went home.
It’s so frustrating dealing with her, because she isn’t stupid. Most of the time.
Got tagged on one of those lists on facebook, this time of books that influenced you. I was supposed to only come up with ten, but I went overboard. I’m really not a rules person.
1.) About Face- David Hackworth
2.) A Wrinkle in Time- Madeleine L’Engle (the whole series)
3.) Charlotte’s Web- E.B. White
4.) Dinky Hocker Shoots Smack- Marijane Meaker
5.) Weaveworld- Clive Barker
6.) My Darling, My Hamburger- Paul Zindel
7.) James and the Giant Peach- Roald Dahl
8.) Trout Fishing in America, The Hawkline Monster, a Confederate General from Big Sur, and Willard and His Bowling Trophies- all by Richard Brautigun
9.) American Psycho- Brett Easton Ellis
10.) The Killer Angels- Michael Shaara
11.) Bang the Drum Slowly- Mark Harris
12.) The Chocolate War- Robert Cormier
13.) The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant trilogies- Stephen R. Donaldson
14.) Bless the Beasts and the Children- Glendon Swarthout
15.) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series- Douglas Adams
16.) A Day No Pigs Would Die- Robert Newton Peck
17.) Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret- Judy Bloom
18.) Neuromancer- William Gibson
19.) The Stand- Stephen King
20.) Slaughter-house Five- Kurt Vonnegut
21.) Dune- Frank Herbert
22.) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- HST
23.) Mythology- Edith Hamilton
24.) Naked- David Sedaris
25.) We Were Soldiers Once and Young- Galloway and Moore
26.) All the President’s Men- Woodward and Bernstein
27.) In Cold Blood- CapoteTechnically not books, but I read and re-read every Bloom County and Doonesbury collection, as well as Calvin and Hobbes and the Far Side.
At any rate, I’m off to watch an episode or two of Rectify before heading to bed. The dogs have settled into the 7 am long walk routine like we have been doing it for 20 years,so now if I do not have my coffee in me and shoes on with leashes in hand by 7:15 am, it’s like the doggy equivalent of a prison riot, and that gets Steve so worked up that he starts bitching. When he gets into that mode, the only thing that calms him down is a treat, and since he eats before I am even allowed to think about brewing coffee, he doesn’t need a treat 15 minutes later.
*** Update ***
Also too, this:
@Johngcole Pandas faking pregnancy are why I have trust issues.
— Sonya Lee (@bujeeboo) August 28, 2014
Jerzy Russian
I can relate regarding your mother and technology. I get very, very impatient with people when I am trying to show them how to navigate a web page, electronic controls, etc. I haven’t called my mother a moran yet, however.
muddy
Glad you are doing so well! My dogs can pick up a new habit like that very fast. If you did it twice it’s now the rule.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
All in the same room?
It’s not stupidity; it is discomfort with the unfamiliar. Remember how hard it was for you to buy and new and “different” car? Give her a break. When my mom got an iPad, I download a few apps that I knew she would want and showed her a couple of things. Then I got out of the way and let her play with it and have her granddaughter teach her a shitload of stuff.
LT
Damn, I love that green that just soaks your mind. Like the green Oregon and Washingon.
Nice list. Brautigan is fantastic. “In Watermelon Sugar” and “A Confederate General From Big Sur” were my intros to him, also read several others.
? Martin
There might be more green in that photo than we have in the entire state of California right now.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@LT: “A Confederate General From Big Sur” is definitely my favorite Brautigan
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Why did you hand off Rosie? Or does that mean Walt was in charge of walking her? Slow brain day here.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
Are you unfamiliar with male dogs?
Villago Delenda Est
Exqueeze me? No Atlas Shrugged?
Well, no paeans from Paulistas for you, Cole!
FlyingToaster
I learned to only give my mom advice over the phone. Preferably from the minimum Toaster family distance* of 1500 miles.
She was mystified by my plugging the iPhone into a charger and an aux cable on the rental car, putting on the Tinkerbell soundtracks (for benefit of WarriorGirl in the back) and then telling Google Maps to get us from Sanibel to her house, avoiding the worst of the traffic. She kept trying to navigate and I said, no, mom, listen to the nice lady on the phone, there’s a traffic backup on your route. She sat there in a huff for the rest of the drive.
I feel your pain.
*since age 25, all us kids live 1500 miles or more away from everyone else, including my mom. Two of us once lived in the same zip code, and the younger one felt compelled to hop an ocean to escape. Or she was following her fiance.
Randy P
Wait, I’m missing something. Isn’t this how every male dog in the universe urinates? How is this weird?
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I see you had the same question. And apparently the answer is “yes”, Cole hasn’t had a male dog.
Betty Cracker
Maybe she meant she doesn’t want people to know what she looks like at that moment, when she’s unprepared to suddenly come face to face with someone. I hate Facetime for that reason. It’s like people showing up at your door unannounced. Go away! I haven’t even brushed my hair yet!
PS: That farm is gorgeous.
jame
No Philip K Dick on the list? “Bless the Beasts and Children” has the most accurate description of the smell of blood I ever read.
Funny what stays with you.
I still have a copy of “My Darling, My Hamburger”; guess I’ll have to reread it now.
And a big YES to “Neuromancer”, brilliant cyberpunk written by a man who acknowledges he knows little about the technology.
LT
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I’m going to have to haul them out of the mental attic. it’s all very foggy.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@LT: My parents had them all. I first read them as a kid – I missed a lot of shit.
Villago Delenda Est
I tried, really, really hard, to read these. I gave up after about 100 pages into the second book.
I also tried, really, really hard to read Dhalgren and just could not do it. In fact, Babel-17 is the only Delany I ever finished, and that was for a class.
John Cole +0
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Walt was walking her.
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I wrote it wrong. He lifts both back legs and balances on the front two. It’s really weird.
Randy P
@John Cole +0: OK, that is pretty weird. I’m not even sure how that would work. You mean he does a little handstand?
LT
I used to be embarrassed about this but no more: I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull every night before bed – god I’m pretty sure it was for several months – when I was 12 or so, just emerging into adulthood. Honestly has to be the most formative book for this human. I could have done worse.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Villago Delenda Est: I have trouble with a series in which the protagonist is a total asshole leper who seems to make no progress as a person in the first book or two (as far as I got). Did. Not. Like. Never finished the series.
Villago Delenda Est
@John Cole +0: OK, that IS really weird.
He must be a show dog or something.
Suzanne
Tech instruction for parents is the WORST. Mr. Suzanne gets to deal with the brunt of it, because I have a shorter fuse than he does, and I am visual and can only help people do things by showing them how to do them. He can actually explain how to do things.
Spawn the Elder has school picture day tomorrow. First middle school pictures, so kind of a big deal. She asked if she could wear a colander on her head. I was so proud.
Villago Delenda Est
@LT: For example, Atlas Shrugged
jibeaux
My FIL uses Facebook by just apparently typing things into whatever box is open on his screen. Sometimes that means a status update clearly intended as a personal message to someone, sometimes it means a comment on a status asking a random uninvolved person to give him a call. He seems to think FB will figure out how to route the message to the right place.
JustRuss
I read About Face about a decade ago, don’t recall much of it now. Hackworth was an interesting individual, I enjoyed his website.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
I also find the choice of American Psycho over Less Than Zero to be problematic.
LT
@Villago Delenda Est: Oh Christ, yes. Thank god never even heard of it until the last ten years or so.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Suzanne: As well you should be! Did you say “sure” or would that just be what I’d have said?
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Villago Delenda Est: My dad suggested it to me. Not endorsing it, but saying it is out there and one should look at it. I managed about 25 or so pages.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): “Not until you are officially ordained, dear.”
Scott Peterson
I got to work with David Hackworth on a project back in the 1990s. He was incredibly professional to deal with, but also a real pleasure—just a really nice guy. When I called him Colonel Hackworth, he said, “Oh, no, just call me Hack. Everybody does.”
Villago Delenda Est
Dune was great. The sequels? Not so much. The movie? Not so much. The SciFI movie? Better than the David Lynch version. Although I must admit I enjoyed Sting’s performance in the movie, and dammit, Virginia Madsen is so easy on the eyes…
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@jibeaux: Is it wrong that I’m laughing?
Suzanne
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Hah. She has been expressing a good deal of anxiety about friends and social drama, and so I advised her that wearing a colander on her head may be one of those things that makes middle school a bit trickier, as this is the prime age that kids police each other for conformist behavior. I told her that she could do it if she really wanted to, though.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Villago Delenda Est: I really hated what the Herberts did with Duncan Idaho. He and Gurney Halleck were my favorite characters.
Mike in NC
“Slaughterhouse Five” was both a good book and a very good movie.
Villago Delenda Est
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Moi aussi re Duncan Idaho.
I like Patrick Stewart’s take on Gurney Halleck in the David Lynch movie as well.
LT
Vonnegut remains top floor for me.
Lately – and a Kindle two bday’s ago upped my reading tremendously (60 books last year or thereabouts?) – a lot of science fiction. Gibson (wow), Spinrad, Dick, Card, Piers Anthony, John Brunner, Russians – Roadside Picnic (inspired film Stalker – SEE THIS FILM), Lem, Dmitri Glukhovsky (METRO 2033 – fantastic).
Also cannot recommend enough Richard Flanagan. “Gould’s Book of Fish” – gah. I love stuff like this. So singular. And “The Narrow Road to the Deep North.” Wow.
Tenar Darell
@John Cole +0
Nice to know that tech tutoring aged, yet smart, parentals ties everyone in knots. I usually end up smacking my head and yelling when I try to show Dad how to do something on his iPad. Then I feel guilty. I’d send him to Apple on my off and on One to One memberships except he’s hard of hearing so I usually have to stay to repeat things, which doesn’t help me at all. Might work for you.
Diana
@Villago Delenda Est: Dhalgren is the East Village in the 70’s and Delany was a true resident … that is to say, he wrote it on drugs. I have it, I love it, and I read it only in patches.
The best book of his that I have that he wrote sober is Stars In My Pocket Like Grains Of Sand. A little too much world-building (I don’t care what Marq Dyeth does on his job, and I bet you won’t either) but a much, much better read.
Also, Cole, if there are farms like that in your part of the world, what are you doing living in a tract house on a road? Move to a farm. Raise chickens, the beasts will love them.
El Caganer
Just a couple years ago I started reading George Saunders, and at the moment he’s my favorite author.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Diana:
One of the neat things about having a society is that everyone doesn’t need to be a farmer.
Violet
That picture is so gorgeous. I miss West Virginia in the summer.
Let your mom figure out the iPhone on her own without pressure. She’s intimidated because she’s smart and thinks she should know how to use it right away like all you youngsters, but she doesn’t. She’ll figure out what she needs to do and you can help her refine it as she goes along.
andynotadam
Big time fan of early Brautigan I read in high school in the early seventies and, of course, Slaughterhouse. My friend Patrick and I played with the roles of Lee and Jesse from Confederate General but neither declared being one or the other. Continues to this day. Trout Fishing and In Watermelon Sugar are delights as well. Highly recommended…
Diana
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Not because he needs to be a farmer but just because that place looks so idyllic. I know looks can be deceiving, but the only drawback to the place is that apparently it has a weird dog. It just looks so much more appealing than all the other pictures he’s posted of the place where he lives.
ranchandsyrup
Wastin away in the CA legislature.
Waitin on a Gut and Amend.
Some people say that the hippies are to blame
But I know, it’s the Rules Committee’s fault.
*dodges giant hook from offstage*
It’s too damn hot up here in Sackatomatoes.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Diana: Read Cole’s collective works. A farm would kill him in hours. I don’t know how an Abrams tank didn’t do it.
My family owns some land in northern WI. Photos from there look idyllic. Living there would be rough.
Citizen_X
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
The only reason I can think of is that all the dangerous stuff points outwards,
trollhattan
@ranchandsyrup:
You call this hot? Sissy-boy (not that there’s….)
It must be noted that Cole’s landscape could be easily replicated here if only it were all painted khaki.
sacrablue
@ranchandsyrup: How long will you be here? Is a BJ meetup in order?
Violet
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Posted this before. My favorite tank scene. Was this Cole?
Rock
It was cool to hear Hackworth was a good guy. I read “Steel My Soldiers’ Hearts” and thought it was a pretty good book. I never served, but my uncle was in Vietnam and I thought maybe it let me see a little of what he saw.
Book recommendation: “Matterhorn” by Karl Marlentes…also a book about Vietnam. One of the best books I have read.
ranchandsyrup
@trollhattan: san diego living narrowed my temperature band to about 10 degrees.
still working that water bill that died before. the author gutted an olive oil truth in labeling bill to try to give it new life. Gut and amend is awful.
@sacrablue: I could be here until Sunday depending on what happens. I’m in to meetup. :)
Went to Mikuni for the 2nd day in a row and it was again delish.
PurpleGirl
@Villago Delenda Est: I tried to read Dhalgren too. Just couldn’t get into it. But I loved Babel-17 and The Jewels of Aptor,
CaseyL
@Diana: Our Esteemed Host has incurred serious injuries while mopping, walking the dogs, and getting his hair cut… and you want him to run a farm??
burnspbesq
I must have been a really weird teenager. My list of formative books would include a lot of Camus, Joyce, Faulkner, Solzhenitsyn, Dostoyevsky, Upton Sinclair, Dreiser, and Orwell.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Violet: I was Artillery. We lent dignity to what would otherwise be an ugly brawl. I have no idea what kind of shit someone like Cole might have done.
Mike in NC
Actually, we did our honeymoon in WV in September 1994. Stayed at the awesome Bavarian Inn in Shepardstown, visited the moving battlefield at Antietam (thanks to some fantastic National Park guides), and enjoyed the attractions of the local towns. Would love to go back someday… maybe # 25?
Suzanne
@Diana: They have ugly end tables on farms, too.
I seriously think a trip to Crate and Barrel would exorcise John’s demons.
Anne Laurie
@John Cole +0: I do believe that book list marks you as the whitest white man in all of West Virginia, Cole.
And I sympathize with your poor mother (not for the first time). I’m the same way about new tech, but the Spousal Unit has (mostly) learned to deal.
He’s not the only small male dog who pulls that stunt (regular commentor JPL’s Mr. Finch, for one).
There are some female dogs who lift a leg to pee, for the same reason. When our papillon/border-collie rescue Gloria first came to stay with us “just for a week or two” (bitter laughter), she was making a great display of being a Good Guest. I let all the dogs out the back door, watched as she sniffed over Sydney’s “mark”, hiked up her leg, noticed me watching her, and quickly dropped into a proper feminine “curtsy”… Day or two later, I sent everyone out, she squatted, but her back leg lifted off the ground automatically. And she turned around and growled at her own leg, for giving her secret away!
Suzanne
@burnspbesq: God, you must have been a fucking buzzkill as a teenager. I’m feeling angsty just looking at that list,
gian
ahh crap, half my grandparents were from the part of MA that Cormier wrote about, both my parents from the same general area (Fitchburg & Gardner MA)
consider reading “I am the cheese”
FYWP and a poor click erased a longer message.
I seem to recall (reading too) but seeing a live action wrinkle in time adaptation in elementary school and a film strip. maybe I’m conflating a sequel filmstrip
Did you like the “phantom tollbooth”? I need to buy that for my fourth grader
Suffern ACE
I lost interest in reading after “Dan Frontier, Army Scout.” My list is rather short.
burnspbesq
@Suzanne:
Well, except that all my friends were reading the same stuff. The assigned readings in my honors French 4 class included L’Etranger, Huis Clos, Les Caves du Vatican, Antigone, and Rhinoceros. As I Lay Dying, The Jungle, Sister Carrie, The Red Badge of Courage, and Ethan Frome were all assigned reading in American Studies. I didn’t get the really weird shit because I didn’t take AP English.
stibbert
Liked your book-list, JC, but I feel bad for everyone (including myself) who’s read “American Psycho”. That sh*t was just nasty. Mebbe try some Nicholson Baker instead of Bret Easton Ellis.
‘Grats to M&D Cole on their 46th anniversary. & the recent good news of Holly’s recovery has been a big lift.
LT
@burnspbesq: As I Lay Dying. Got that one young, too. Love it.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@burnspbesq: Go read the entire IB diploma curriculum and then get snippy.
piratedan
while I did actually finish Dahlgren, I was much more into Zelazny’s Amber series and folks like Ursula LeGuin and H. Beam Piper. As always, ymmv….
John Revolta
@burnspbesq: I, too, started out reading my contemporaries.
Sam Clemens was a favorite. Still is, actually.
Anne Laurie
@John Revolta:
We were assigned Tom Sawyer in third grade. I complained to my mother the English teacher that it was putrid, so she suggested I read Life on the Mississippi. I’ve read and re-read quite a bit of Twain since then, but LotM is the one that marked me the strongest…
scav
@Suffern ACE: I developed an entirely cultlike fondness for Dave Dawson after discovering one in a near abandoned bookcase. Luckily I could multi-obsess because the rest took a long time to find. Long mysteries phase, Homes, Sayers, Allingham, Marsh. Phantom was important, as was the Dragons of Eden. Mitford and Waugh! As there was only the bookmobile every other week, I was forced into eclecticism.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Anne Laurie: Life on the Mississippi is Twain at his best.
Villago Delenda Est
@Violet: My, my. Makes the maneuver damage my RATT track did during REFORGER ’81 look like just knocking over a highway marker. My sergeant tried really hard to rescue the RATT (radio teletype) track from the swamp he drove it in to before I got back to the site.
Those are Leopard tanks, btw, not Abrams. I doubt highly that the Army would have let a filmmaker borrow an Abrams for such a scene. The Bundeswehr on the other hand wouldn’t have minded, they could use the money from the rental.
cckids
@Jerzy Russian:
Me too, though with me it is my mother in law. She just cannot admit she doesn’t know something. She asked me to help her list something on ebay, and wouldn’t use their (quite good) tutorial. So we are sitting at her computer, with me saying “first you click on this “sell” button, then “auction” or “buy now”, etc, etc. This goes on for half an hour or so, then she crabbily says, “you keep saying “click this” and “click that”. What do you mean, “click”.
I excused myself & went outdoors to bang my head against a tree.
Vincent N
It’s somehow reassuring to know that other people get frustrated when trying to teach a parent how to use a piece of technology. I try very hard not to get mad when trying to show my dad how to use Facebook or upload pictures from his camera or how to use his smartphone but sometimes I’ll snap then feel extremely guilty. I think this is because I know he’s a smart man and it’s aggravating when he doesn’t get something I think is pretty simple.
And since we’re destined to become our parents I’m sure my future kids will treat me like a moron for failing to understand how to use the AppleDroid BrainWave 3000 correctly.
John Revolta
@Anne Laurie: Ha! I’ve got a copy on my desk about 3 feet away…………..was just reading the bit about the two “scoundrels” who sold oleomargarine and cottonseed oil. Twain considered both items to be counterfeits for butter and olive oil. Funny that……………..
burnspbesq
This could turn out to be a big fucking deal.
Remember how, in the last days before the 2012 Iowa caucuses, the head of Michele Bachmann’s campaign jumped ship and endorsed Ron Paul?
Today, that guy pled guilty in Federal court to taking a bribe to jump ship, to helping the Paul campaign falsify its FEC filings to disguise the true nature of the payment he received, and to lying about it to investigators.
The head of the Paul campaign at the time? He’s now the head of Mitch McConnell’s campaign.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/watch/mcconnell-campaign-sees-shadow-of-payoff-case-322686531662
cckids
@Betty Cracker:
The first time my spouse called his parents via Facetime, his dad was thrilled. Went running to find Mom to show her. She was in the shower. They apparently didn’t realize it was 2-way. The hubby may not recover.
Tommy
@Vincent N: Yeah I hear you. My parents cell phone is like from years and years ago. My mom wants dad to upgrade so she can get in on me and my brother’s conversations. You know texting and basic stuff. Told her on her b-day yesterday (and I did get mom a rightful other gift) that I had taken my Google Nexus tablet, stripped it down, and ready for her. I got the MLB app so she can follow the Cardinals. Weather. Apps I know she will love. Now I just need to figure out how to tell my brother all of this will happen :).
Major Major Major Major
My inspirational poets are Walt Whitman, Edward Gorey, and Ogden Nash.
Villago Delenda Est
@burnspbesq: Holy shit, this IS a big fucking deal, to borrow a Joe Biden exclamation.
There is no honor among these people. None. No loyalty, only pure mercenary activity.
Cripes, they are utter scum.
Frivolous
John Cole, may I ask if you accept Facebook friends requests from Balloon Juice posters?
I know I’m only a lurker, but I figured it doesn’t hurt to ask.
wasabi gasp
It’s a real head-scratcher why you’re not the favorite one.
sacrablue
@ranchandsyrup: Sorry, I had to leave my computer for a bit. I was contending with a cat crisis. I know there are several others in the area that might want to get together. Maybe we should try to mention the idea tomorrow in an open thread. Kinda late now to get any response.
Major Major Major Major
@sacrablue: I’m awake.
Tommy
@Vincent N: Oh I just need to note that I fear the “AppleDroid BrainWave 3000.” I work on or with computers for a living. My brother is a Cisco engineer. When we attend family events we are the two folks that are cornered and asked how this works 24/7. Tech support seems to be in my family DNA.
I don’t have kids myself, but my brother a wonderful six year old. He knows women in technology are few, but not cause a little lady can’t understand PHP or this or that. So she is tooling around with a top-of-the-line laptop. Learning programming. Heck the two favorite games on my Android phone came from her (Connect the Dots and Cut The Rope).
Our hope is, well one day she starts to write programs we want to use ….
Steeplejack
@Tommy:
What are your current everyday shoes (from earlier thread)?
My Merrell Moabs are played out; I need to get some new shoes.
Steeplejack
My circadian rhythms are all out of whack. I’m on West Coast time for the time being, but I find myself calculating what is the “real” (East Coast) time when reading Balloon Juice threads. Between that and the fact that my normal (but weird) sleep patterns have been disrupted, I’m feeling sort of, uh, untethered.
Thinking of different “time” songs. Not particularly apropos, but one of my favorites.
Tommy
@Steeplejack: Well I am a Keen guy, but alas after 15 years that shoe just stopped the other day. Just broke down. My secondary until I get another pair is a sandle one of these Merrell (couldn’t find the exact thing I own on their site). It is a very nice shoe, but not Keen.
This is literally the exact pair of Keen I have. The site says:
I am so anal about shoes and this is the best shoe I’ve ever bought/owned, bar none.
Steeplejack
@Tommy:
Dude, srsly? You said in the earlier thread that your grandfather said a person could be rated by his watch and his shoes, and you’re going to be rated by sandals? GTFO.
Tommy
@Steeplejack: LOL. I stand by what I said earlier. You can gauge a person by their shoes. I have Bruno Magli shoes (Google that if you don’t know the name). Spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on shoes. I love my shoes. Keen made and/or makes the best shoe I’ve ever worn. Hands down.
Gretchen
I got IPhone for Dummies on the recommendation of another old lady so I didn’t have to ask my impatient kids. Very helpful.
Tommy
@Gretchen: My mom will be over at the end of the next month. She thinks the entirety of the Internet is eBay. Dad won’t get rid, as I mentioned above, a cell phone from the 2000’s. Mom wants to text. Take pics. Skype. She can’t do that on their phone.
So I retooled my Google Nexus tablet and will give it to her, with a few hours of support.
I fear what may come of this. But if she can Skpe us. Text us. Well you go mom.
Steeplejack
@Tommy:
I’ve got a pair of Bruno Magli dress shoes. But I don’t wear them every day. And, as far as I know, your grandfather can’t rate me on them when they’re at home and I’m wearing my Merrells, Keens or K-Mart flip-flops.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Tommy: The wife and use KakaoTalk for text messaging cause we’re too cheap to pay for unlimited texting. She also uses it to call her brother back in Seoul.
OT: Decisions, decisions. Whether to dye my hair tonight or tomorrow. Cleaned the stove, so it looks like tomorrow. Have to get it done so the wife and kid aren’t going out to dinner with an old looking dude. We’re celebrating their b-days on Friday(wife’s is Friday, kid’s is next Wed.).
Amir Khalid
I’m kind of in the market for a low-end smartphone, i.e. as cheap as possible, with a minimum of bells and whistles (for instance, I intend to continue using this here laptop for just about all my internetting). I understand that advice on specific phone models from the far side of the planet might not be useful, but as a general matter what functionality should I look for?
Tommy
@Steeplejack: Honestly my grandfather was a racist and bigot (long story). But he did teach me a few things that I value till this day. One of them is your appearance. Shoes were at the top of it. You should care about the cloths you put on. People, rightly or wrong, they will judge you on it.
Tommy
@Amir Khalid: Outside of making/taking a call what do you want the phone to do?
GxB
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Hey!
[Glances around sheepishly]
Sigh… no contest yer honor…
Walker/Burke update – local newscasts (mostly right leaning or worse) still report race as “tight” due to more support for Burke in the Nort’woods than originally projected. Fingers crossed ya’all.
Amir Khalid
@Tommy:
I suppose it’ll come with a camera, they’ve all got one now. It needs a clock function. Maybe GPS, if you can get that in a low-end phone. I got games out of my system long ago so I don’t care about that. I’m not a working person anymore so fancy apps, meh.
Tommy
@BillinGlendaleCA: Bookmarked KakaoTalk. My brother and I just send my parents a check each year. We are on a “family” plan per Verizon as a group. Gets “cheap” IMHO this way. Unlimited everything for under $45 bucks a month for each user.
My giving my mom my old tablet is just that she feels out of touch. Text and stuff is how my brother and I talk. Sad but true. She wants in the game. I am going to give her a ticket to come play :).
Tommy
@Amir Khalid: Walmart is well Walmart. They have every prepaid phone you could want and more. You will pay like $75 for the phone then just use credits off of it. As you want to use them. I did this for awhile before I went to my cell as my primary phone. Worked well.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Tommy: Do they have SlaveMart in Malaysia?
ETA: And now I’m off to brick my phone.
Tommy
@BillinGlendaleCA: I am sure they do. I will take that hit. I try very hard to shop local. But I live in a rural area and the “Super Walmart” has taken over. I bet in the last week I’ve spent about $25 more just to buy a few things local. At the local drug store. Local hardware store. I am not a cheap person and I will pay for a quality service, but honestly it is hard.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Tommy: It appears there may not be Walmarts in Malaysia, Answer.com says there aren’t any in KL(Amir’s in KL). Yup, bricked the phone. I’m trying to apply a theme and some of the apk’s on my ROM(Jasmine) seem to conflict. Time for a battery pull and a restore.
Tommy
I am just watching the Young Turks on my Roku. The video of that 9 year old with the Uzi. My god. Look I come from a family of gun owners. Heck my father, as anal as I am, makes sure I have a gun permit in the state of IL just so when he dies, and I inherit his guns, I am legal. Ponder that for a few seconds.
I recall as a kid growing up, I once pointed a toy gun at my father. He ripped it out of my hand and told me you never, NEVER point a gun at somebody unless you plan to use it. That was how I was raised. I had no desire to be around guns, but I was taught about guns because they were in the household.
Give a 9 year old a small gauge shotgun. Rifle. I think that is kind of cool. But in what world do you give her an Uzi?
wasabi gasp
This one, Tommy.
Amir Khalid
WalMart is not in KL, or anywhere else in Malaysia. All I’m really after is a minimally adequate smartphone because I don’t anticipate using a great number of apps or games. Should I prefer a particular OS, should I insist on any particular capabilities?
Helena Montana
I’m sure my son often finds me stupid, but he is kind enough not to treat me with open contempt. What did she ever do to deserve that? And he would never, NEVER call me a moron.
Tommy
@wasabi gasp: Let me tell you about the only time I shot a gun. Good friend of mine. Told me on his land we could hunt rabbits. I kid you not, he took me to a place that had a brier patch. Lets his beagle go. Rabbits everywhere. He is like shoot, shoot. I didn’t. I was, wimp I am, worried that I might hit the dog. Not the rabbit. He seemed to be confused about this. I wasn’t.
Jewish Steel
Hey, I read that when I was a teenager. Loved it. I wonder if it would still hold up for a mid forties fella.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Amir Khalid: I’m not sure how things work in Malaysia, but in the US we’re limited as to which models that available by carrier. I’m pretty sure that iPhones are available there, and they’re pretty much the same. Here in the states, iPhones are upgraded pretty much regardless of carrier. You may pay a premium for Apple. I have more experience with Android. The pitfalls, again based on my experience here, is that you wait for the manufacture to update and then the carrier to do their update. I’d be careful, again on the Android side, of getting an older phone. My first smartphone was an older model, and couldn’t be upgraded to the current level of Android(the phone was on 2.3 and 4.0 was available). Also the manufacture may or may not upgrade the OS on a timely basis on some of the smaller manufactures. With my current phone, I upgraded to the most recent Samsung.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Tommy: On my rather long walk on Tuesday, before I actually headed up to the hills, I saw 2 deer in somebody’s yard. I was rather surprised to see them pretty much in the city.
Gene108
@Amir Khalid:
You may not need an actual smartphone. There are plenty of “dumb” phones that have internet capabilities and GPS.
This LG Phone is not a smart phone, but has internet capabilities and you should be able to install a GPS program on it.
There are probably other models, though I do not know what is for sale in your neck of the woods.
raven
There is a fellow here in Athens that was an officer in the 101st with Hackworth in Vietnam and he said Hack was full of shit!
Gene108
@burnspbesq:
Sigh…this is when an army of howler monkey talking heads would be very useful in getting this into the MSM news cycle, so even the non-political junkie would be aware of it…
To bad there are no liberal billionaires to fund said army of talking head howler monkeys…would counter the right-wing bobble heads on TV…
Jeffro
Holy cow!
<>
BIGtime faves, and then I saw this:
<>
That’s awesome! I could only add
– A Soldier of the Great War
– Cold Mountain
– The Road
Keith G
John, since you brought it up, your impatience with your mother over trivial issues is a young man’s trap – and I mean a lot younger than your chronological age. You should have aged out of that by now.
Give it up. It’s not attractive, not constructive and not right. Find ways to kick back and enjoy – even the silliness. Time moves very fast.
grillo
@Amir Khalid: Well OK.
It seems like the unnamed functions you want are convenience and reliability. And a certain amount of ubiquity so that the infrastructure of the world supports you.
If you bought an iDevice you would be paying for quite a bit that you don’t actually want or need. That might be OK but it is retrograde to what you asked for.
In the US an android phone would be what I would recommend because they are ubiquitous and recent versions are very stable. So if the hardware is reliable you will have a solid phone and you will be able to get essentially any application you like if you find you want one.
As to the hardware that is more local. I am very favorably impressed with Motorola these days (I have a Moto X) and I was thinking you might like the Moto G but even that might be overly fancy for you and where you live it might not even be available.
Samsung and LG make excellent devices and I have had low end devices from each of them and they were very OK except that they are low end.
I suspect that you will experience ‘smart phone creep’ over the next twelve months and find you want more. So I would get a phone a little better than you expect to need. But that is me.
I can answer more specific questions if you need something more specific.
grillo
@Gene108: The problem with such phones is that carriers lock them down and own what you can use. So that means that, for example, the phone may have navigation. Hooray! But only the navigation the carrier gives you, for which they will charge a monthly fee. That used to be common in the US, you would have to buy navigation as a monthly subscription, and some people continue to do that. Spending more up front to get Google Maps for free is worth it.
And my general experience is that with rare exception these phones are a gateway drug to real smartphones but the investment in learning or applications that you make is not transferrable.
the Conster
Rectify is awesome. I love the family – it’s so functional and the mother and Ted Sr. are such interesting credible characters so fleshed out. A worthy successor to True Detective, and the chemistry between Tawney and Daniel – well, just let me say boy howdy. Aden Young and Adelaide Clemens are both revelations.
Betty
Be nice to your mother. It is hard for us old folks to cotton on to all the ever changing technology. Smart phones seem weird to me because there’s so little of the familiar to them. Where’s the top, the bottom, the buttons to push? She’ll get it in time.
maurinsky
@piratedan, my ex-husband so loved Zelazny’s Amber series that he’s written additional books for it. His paranoia and concern about copywright issues doesn’t allow him to pursue publication, but he’s an excellent writer.
My parents refuse to use new technology. They made it to VCR, and will go no further.
skyweaver
That must have been frustrating. It was probably also frustrating for your mom, who is a) not comfortable with technology, b) is trying to learn something from her very-techn-comfortable son with c) her husband in the room.
Manyakitty
@Villago Delenda Est: Yes. Patrick Stewart owned that role.
Manyakitty
@gian: I am the Cheese blew. my. mind.
Manyakitty
@maurinsky: The Amber Series (both) are on my list, too. I’m just sad Zelazny died before he could write the continuing adventures of Corwin. What a great character!
Doctor Science
For those of you who, like me, have to do long-distance computer tech support for parents:
TeamViewer is a (possibly literal) life-saver, and free for non-commercial use. Seriously, before TeamViewer my husband had to do the parental tech support, because I would get frustrated to the point of rage and/or tears by trying to figure out what the problem was based on my mother’s explanation, and then coaxing her to push the correct buttons to fix it.
Now I can do complex tech support for my own parents (including installs/uninstalls), and everyone is just light-years less stressed by the experience.
I really, really hope my kids are nice to me 30 years from now, because I have no idea what tech they’re going to be talking me through.
Amir Khalid
@grillo:
Locking seems to be a uniquely American problem. I asked around at a few showrooms in KL today; I was told that all phones are sold unlocked, and you’re free to choose your carrier. You also have the option of a network-supplied phone which saves you some cash up front, but why bother?
Luci
@Violet has a good point about your Mom being smart and feeling intimidated because she feels she should do better with things like the phone. I suspect that is the case. She may also have come from a background with high expectations or have had somewhat critical parents, and so she expects criticism and is anxious about new things because she will make mistakes at first… and it is normal and right that she does make mistakes with new things…
And, that brings me to something I thought about posting about back when you talked about how stressful your day is when you are around people who get in your way or who seem to do things that piss you off a lot. The fact is that life and people are what they are, and we have little control over them. They will do things that are not to our liking, and we can either figure out how to deal with that without getting artery bursting furious about it or depressed and immobilized, or we can have many, many bad days that seem to call for excessive drinking, or drugging, or anything else that tends to become habitual and thus addictive. The key to how to do better is to look at what our assumptions about life are and what we tell ourselves over and over in our heads that makes us mad, sad, crazy, or drunk. (Or all of the above.) For example, telling yourself that the guy who pulls out in front of you and you have to hit the brakes is trying to kill you will get you furious. Even though that kind of thing can be a bit scary, I’ve begun simply saying to myself, or whoever is in the car with me, “Well, I wouldn’t have done that like that perhaps?” and that lets me feel a slight bit superior and the ironic tone I try to adopt with it keeps it from being too serious. After all… we’ve all done things like that to others, there is little point in becoming enraged over something that in the end turns into nothing, and we reinforce our view of the world as being filled with people who are “out to get us.” Years and years of having that kind of stuff run through our minds in every possible circumstance, and that’s not really an exaggerated thing, as I have known people who do exactly that, leaves us angry and frustrated and upset most of the time and that has physical AND mental consequences both. We can feel physically ill, anger is damaging to our hearts, and our relationships suffer, because we tend to assume the worst of the people closest to us too often enough, and that leaves us anxious, depressed, perhaps isolated, and looking longingly at something… anything… to kill our pain. Prescription drugs, alcohol, illegal drugs, and anything else that distracts us from our constant underlying pain, which we might not even be all that aware of consciously look like find options… until they start to ruin our physical and emotional health. Soooo… if you are serious about wanting to do better in life and maintain sobriety, checking into a course of therapy with someone who can work with you on what is going on inside that often enough leaves you frustrated and angry and upset. Your huge love of your pets and such is fabulous, and your decency shines through in most of what you post. I mean no criticism of this to you or anyone else, and I have some first hand knowledge of how this kind if thing impacts in our lives. I do know how miserable and difficult it can be to live like this. I did it longer than I like myself, and I really do hate to see anyone else do it too. I hope this is helpful, and I hope you and everyone are doing well and having a grand day! :)
Birthmarker
Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel that none of us want to be called a name. It’s hurtful. I had to tell one of my hubby’s relatives not to call me dummy. My family didn’t call names, but maybe we were the exception. I didn’t let my kids call names, either. And they don’t as adults, or at least not around me. My husband’s father once called him stupid in front of me. My husband was 35 years old at the time. I found it just plain rude.
Once again, maybe I just grew up with a different family dynamic than most. We weren’t allowed to tell each other “shut up” either.
Elizabelle
JGCole: proud of you for doing all the walking, especially the 7:00 am jaunt. Wish I could start that habit. (Will try; slight spot of insomnia that should abate soon …)
Tone In DC
LULz.
I got my dad all the way to home theater with stereo and subwoofer and DVD. And the PC I built him. Which every so often he crashes so badly I have to reinstall/troubleshoot the OS). I swear that he thinks that computer is Joshua from WarGames. Or something.
mellowjohn
i’ve got three books listed on my facebook profile:
zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
rush limbaugh is a big, fat idiot
hamster huey and the gooey klabooey
Jebediah, RBG
@Anne Laurie:
That is awesome…especially the last part!
Hungry Joe
I bet I’ve read “Bang the Drum Slowly” six or seven times. (It was a pretty good movie, too, featuring an early — i.e., still trying to act — de Niro.) It helps to have read “The Southpaw” first, but it’s not a prerequisite.
Jebediah, RBG
@maurinsky:
It took us years, and a few false starts, to get my mom to leave an answering machine hooked up.
Computer? Internet? Nope. Not ever going to happen. If I want her to see pictures of the pups, I get prints made and mail them to her (or email them to my sister, and then she or my niece show them to her when she visits them.)
Jebediah, RBG
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
This can’t possibly be correct. Thatcher said there is no such thing as society, and she was England’s Reagan! Or Reagan’s England, or something.
brantl
John Cole, you need to be nicer to your mother; they aren’t around forever, just sayin’.
brantl
@burnspbesq: A Simpson’s Munz Ha! Ha for that.
wasabi gasp
@Tommy:
I had a similar experience when I was young. I hadn’t handled firearms outside a pellet gun when a buddy of mine grabbed a rifle, a shotgun and his pooch and took me out back to shoot critters. I wasn’t so concerned about the dog as that beast mostly laid in the shade, but I was very hesitant to kill. But I did. And then I did, again. And again. I went fucking rambo on those little critters.
I didn’t handle a gun again until about a decade or so later when my pops was shopping for home protection. I was offered the opportunity to fire a .44 magnum and I took it. The power was very impressive and my accuracy was pretty good for a noob, yet I felt no attraction to the experience. None at all. Unlike, say, when I first tried on a girlfriend’s panties.
Guns are not my bag, man.
shortstop
I can’t stop staring dreamily at this beautiful farm. I need to get out of the city badly. BADLY.
J R in WV
@Amir Khalid:
You want an Android phone, V 4.4.4 if you can get one, 4.4.whatever if you can’t.
Android is an open OS for smart phones. My phone has Chrome browser, contact lists for phone calls, you can download apps, data, etc.
Samsung is what we got, I also have a 10 inch tablet with the same OS.