Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

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79Comments

  5. 5.

    Poopyman

    Just noticed the top Newsmax headline:

    China Developing Supersonic Sub

    That must be quite some bow shock wave.

  7. 7.

    OzarkHillbilly

    When the cat’s away, the mice will play. First full day without the tyranny of my wife***. Whatever shall I do with my new found freedom? Let’s see…

    #1 Install storm door
    #2 Freeze beans
    #3 Can ketchup
    #4 Polyurethane drawer faces
    #5 …. I’ll think of something

    Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I’m so excited I could just sh!t.

    *** They left STL yesterday at 1 pm. They arrive in Palma… an hour and a half from now. I don’t care who you are, that’s a long time in airplanes and airports. She will call me at some point just to say, “We’re still alive.” and then crash to sleep like the dead.

  8. 8.

    Mustang Bobby

    “Supersonic Sub” sounds like another fast-food merger.

    Looking forward to a long weekend wherein I will catch up on TiVo, then go down to the Keys for a couple of days with friends and tall glasses of unsweetened iced tea with mint.

  10. 10.

    Poopyman

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Mr. Google tells me it’s about 1.5 km/sec in water. I knew it was faster than in air.

    That’s a hellatious amount of energy expended, not to mention structural issues. And you will get noticed.

  11. 11.

    Schlemizel

    @BillinGlendaleCA:
    depends on temperature, but midpoint it around 4800 feet per second.

    edit: have not had coffee yet, looked it up & that is over 3000 MPH. I’ll believe that when I see it, more likely China has it’s own “Edward Teller” selling SDI levels of bullshit to an ignorant leader

  13. 13.

    Mustang Bobby

    @Poopyman: I saw a drawing of it somewhere. They’re proposing to do it by forming a “cavitation bubble” and thereby travel faster than if they were surrounded by water. It sounds like something Geordi LaForge and Lt. Cmdr. Data cobbled together down in Engineering.

  15. 15.

    Poopyman

    @Schlemizel: BTW, while getting a sub up to supersonic speeds is nigh impossible, have they considered how to stop the thing before it runs into a continent? That would be fun.

  17. 17.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Actually no. One thing she has never done is add anything to my Honeydew list. I make it long enough on my own. If something bothers her that much, she’ll take care of it herself (with rare exceptions)

  19. 19.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Mustang Bobby: Next thing you know, they’ll come up with something truly ridiculous like putting a man on the moon in less than ten years or something.

  21. 21.

    Schlemizel

    @Poopyman:
    Oh, I think our defense industry has a pretty big lead there!

    @Mustang Bobby:
    I had forgotten about the bubble, I have no idea how fast the thing is supposed to go (I refuse to click that link).

    @Poopyman:
    I do know from what I have read that there are all kinds of issues, stopping being one of them, like steering and hearing.

    OTOH if you had a space ship that could accelerate at 32 ft/sec (the force of gravity so people in the thing would actually be pretty comfy) and then flip at the mid-way point & decelerate at 32 ft/sec you could get to Mars if just a couple of days. The technical problem to work out is you are near the speed of light at the mid-piont. Good luck with that.

  22. 22.

    Randy P

    @Mustang Bobby: I loved ST:TNG but had to forgive them a lot of BS on “reversing the polarity of the gravitons” and such. My wife had occasion to see some of their scripts from time to time, and at those points it would be a blank spot that said something along the lines of “insert scientific stuff here”.

    Anyway, a “cavitation bubble” for speed is a real thing. It’s used to achieve high speeds for torpedoes. But the drag issues in water are so enormous, that “high speed” is more like Mach 0.1 than Mach 1.0.

    @Schlemizel: That’s ft/sec^2, feet per second per second. (/pedant)

  25. 25.

    Poopyman

    Shockwave has crashed twice on my laptop while in this thread. No irony there! I blame the Chinese submarine program.

  28. 28.

    Schlemizel

    @Randy P:
    I am naturally lazy about that stuff & am just having my first cup of coffee & actually waking up so you are right, both in science and in general to correct me.

  30. 30.

    Schlemizel

    @Randy P:

    One of the headlines I saw (and a reason I didn’t read the story) claimed “China to San Francisco in 2 hours” That is much more than mach 1 in air, my guess is closer to that 3000 MPH my sleep deprives brain guessed. My BS detector rang so loudly I couldn’t read!

    It would not surprise me to see the story using words like quantum, quark and even dilitium crystals to achive those results. All media should be banned from reporting any scientific news unless the writer AND the editor have some sort of scientific degree from a recognized university

  31. 31.

    Poopyman

    @Schlemizel:

    All media should be banned from reporting any scientific news unless the writer AND the editor have some sort of scientific degree from a recognized university

    Based on what I’ve observed, it seems most writers & editors write and edit because they didn’t do so good at science and math. Science-oriented publications (usually) being the exception.

    It goes the other way too, of course. Most engineers and scientists I’ve known can’t write for shit.

  32. 32.

    Jerzy Russian

    @Mustang Bobby: Did your father attend all of those fine universities? Thad would add up to a mighty fine education, assuming he actually completed degrees in them all :)

  34. 34.

    khead

    Beautiful KITTEH! House cleaning for the inlaw visit tomorrow. Then football (!) and dinner out.

  35. 35.

    Iowa Old Lady

    I’m reading a short story at open mic night at a local art center tonight. I’m a little nervous but not bad, so go me.

  39. 39.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Alex S.: Holy shit.

    I expect Gospodin Romanov will have some sort of bizarre explanation for this outright invasion by his beloved Russia of another sovereign nation.

  41. 41.

    Schlemizel

    @Poopyman:
    True enough. I still wish people hired to inform the public had a better understanding of science, statistics and . . . well really a whole lot of things they are ignorant of. At least be bright enough to smell BS and figure out how to identify it.

  42. 42.

    Ben Cisco

    Stonekettle strikes again: http://www.stonekettle.com/2014/08/ass-backward-into-unknown.html – loving this quote:

    And that, that right there, is the modern Republican Party’s trademark, flaming pig shit and no goddamned plan. Ass backward into the unknown. Obamacare is Iraq all over again. Republicans sent us in and they never, obviously never, expected us to actually win. Certainly not so soon. Because they had no plan, absolutely no plan whatsoever, for winning.

  45. 45.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Schlemizel:

    At least be bright enough to smell BS and figure out how to identify it.

    Oh, they can identify BS alright.

    They’re convinced it smells like cocktail weenies and flock to it, then eat it up. Yum!

  47. 47.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Gene108: Elvis was a pretty big dude by that time. A steady diet of fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches will do that to you.

  49. 49.

    MomSense

    I just want to scoop up the little fuzzy cuteness that is Cleek’s kitty.

    I have now graduated to trapping cats and kittens. Another mama had kittens last week. The kittens are staying at the shelter for fostering and adoption but the adults seem to be feral. We are having them spayed and then released. I think I may have spotted the stud so now I have to watch where he goes and see if I can trap him.

    There is one pretty calico that I think may have been in a family at one point and was abandoned because she is coming very close to me and she runs out of her hiding spots when she hears me coming. She is such a sweet cat and I would love to see her back in a home.

  51. 51.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Ben Cisco: Heh. “I’ll just pause for a minute so you can contemplate Hillary Clinton in a chainmail miniskirt. You’re welcome.”

  52. 52.

    rikyrah

    The journey to preserve Madam CJ Walker’s historic estate
    August 27, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    Due to the deeply rooted racism that has been a part of this country since its founding, gentrification and centuries of deliberate erasure of African diaspora culture and history, manyphysical structures that celebrate or acknowledge black achievement have been destroyed or left to rot in the bowels of forgotten history.

    Fortunately, people like Brent Leggs of the National Trust for Historic Preservation have dedicated their careers to preserving and honoring the structures that represent a diverse array of cultures and history, including African-American.

    It’s one thing to read about a great person of times past but quite another to have a tangible reminder of that person’s existence and legacy.

    “Our signature program is National Treasure. We take direct action to remove preservation threats at culturally and nationally significant historic sites in the United States. We provide assistance in legal issues, advocacy, preservation planning and marketing,” said Leggs.

    One of Leggs’ current projects is preserving Villa Lewaro, the estate of Sarah Breedlove — a black woman who was born in Louisiana in 1867. She was the daughter of former slaves. Like many black women of the time, she was a domestic who washed clothes. Breedlove went on to become the first female in the United States to earn a million dollars. She is better known as Madam CJ Walker.

    http://thegrio.com/2014/08/27/the-journey-to-preserve-madam-cj-walkers-historic-estate/

  55. 55.

    Thunderbird

    Given the upcoming football season, I have a question:

    Has anyone else given up watching it? I quit prior to last season. Found myself flinching at big hits, and the player suicides from CTE just kinda sealed the deal.

    Am I the only one?

  57. 57.

    rikyrah

    well, they did it

    …………….

    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Get Married in France

    Aug 28, 2014, 8:50 AM ET

    Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married Saturday in Chateau Miraval, France, says a spokesman for the couple.

    Jolie and Pitt wed Saturday in a small chapel in a private ceremony attended by family and friends. In advance of the nondenominational civil ceremony, Pitt and Jolie also obtained a marriage license from a local California judge. The judge also conducted the ceremony in France.

    The couple’s children took part in the wedding. Jolie walked the aisle with her eldest sons Maddox and Pax. Zahara and Vivienne threw petals. Shiloh and Knox served as ring bearers, the spokesman says.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-married-france/story?id=25157846

  58. 58.

    danielx

    This is kind of cool, in my unhumble opinion. I’d read about Alonzo Cushing in various Civil War/Gettysburg histories, and it’s nice to see him getting the Medal even if it’s 150 years coming.

    It’s a truism that young men fight the wars, but Jeebus love us he looks young. I’d read that he was (in the parlance of the day) almost girlish in appearance, but the kid doesn’t look old enough to shave let alone be a West Point grad with two years of combat service before Gettysburg.

  59. 59.

    StringOnAStick

    I just dropped my husband off at the train station, on his way to catch a flight to be with his brother and dad, and help his brother through the first stages of treatment. His brother was diagnosed yesterday with atypical T cell lymphoma yesterday, so apparently the skin eruptions on both his feet were not contact dermatitis like his first 2 doctors suggested. We don’t know what stage this cancer is at yet, or if it is a common version (usually quite curable) or an uncommon variant (not such a good prognosis, at least from what I can find so far). The poor guy is only 54.

  61. 61.

    StringOnAStick

    @Thunderbird: I can’t watch football now either. Every time I see a big hit, all my alarms go off about the damage we know is occurring. Too much like Roman gladiators dying for our amusement.

  62. 62.

    PurpleGirl

    @rikyrah: Oh, I hope they can save her estate. She lead a remarkable life. She was also an important philanthropist. I’ve referred to her at least once in a comment here.

  64. 64.

    Elizabelle

    @rikyrah:

    I never tire of hearing about Madame CJ Walker. Astonishing what she accomplished in 51 years. (Died of hypertension, too young. Born in 1867, the first in her family born free.)

    Someone needs to do a fact-based movie on her life. Even then, it will be unbelievable, for all the good she did.

  65. 65.

    Elizabelle

    DC Area Balloon Juice meetups: one tonight, the second this Tuesday night, September 2nd

    Please come drink and maybe dine with us at Murphy’s Irish Pub in Old Town Alexandria, in honor of the visiting Mr. and Mrs. efgoldman. They’ll arrive 7:30 to 8:00p; I will try to be there closer to 7:00 p with a Tunch clipboard or some Balloon Juice indicator. Second floor. And it’s $14.95 steak night, through 9 pm tonight.

    Murphy’s Alexandria • 713 King Street, Alexandria, VA 22314 • 703.548-1717

    http://murphyspub.com/murphys/alexandria/

    We will meet again this coming Tuesday, in honor of the visiting Siubhan Duinne. Same place, time TBD.

    RE Transport: car is good; plenty of on-street free parking after 6 or 7 p. (Check the meters.) FYI, Murphy’s is pretty close to Christ Church; you can park behind it and walk to Murphy’s …

    Accessible via King Street Metro station (blue and yellow? line; there’s a shuttle bus OR you can hoof it, if you’re so inclined.)

    Apologies for the short notice.

    And we must do a DC city meetup at some point. Apologies to those for whom Old Town Alexandria is too far a trek. Someone else should take the lead on organizing it — you’ll get more notice, for one!

  67. 67.

    Elizabelle

    in moderation with earlier notice of tonight’s last minute BJ meetup in DC.

    OT: Balloon Juice DC area meetup, tonight and again on Tuesday, September 2nd.

    Murphy’s Irish Pub, Old Town Alexandria, 7:00ish to whenever.

    Tonight in honor of Mr. and Mrs. efgoldman, visiting from New England.

    Tuesday in honor of Siubhan Duinne, up from Atlanta-land.

    Sorry for short notice, but please join us if you can. And it’s $14.95 steak night; they have good brews on tap …

    Hoping Anne or DougJ will put up a meetup thread soon; sorry for the virtually no notice on tonight’s …

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    Kitty!

    @MomSense:

    If you can catch the stud cat, what some feral orgs are recommending now is a kitty vasectomy instead of neutering — that way, he retains his urges to protect “his” females and chase away other males, but doesn’t produce more kittens. You should talk to the vet you’re taking them to and see if that’s a possibility.

  70. 70.

    Mnemosyne

    @Nicole:

    I think that’s even grosser than thinking it was fungus. Ewww.

    (I respond well to Noritate — maybe it kills the bugs good, too?)

  72. 72.

    Bob In Portland

    Sounds like the Ukrainian army is collapsing. As forces swiftly move along the coast there is a report of a militia forming in Odessa to drive out the fascists.

  73. 73.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @Bob In Portland: Have some more coffee.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-28966679

    18:20: More than 100 Russian soldiers were killed in eastern Ukraine in a single battle in August while helping separatists fight Ukrainian troops, two members of the Russian presidential human rights council are quoted by Reuters as saying.

    17:50: Sweden’s foreign minister has told the BBC Russia’s actions amount to an “undeclared invasion”. “I don’t think there is the slightest of doubt what’s happening,” Carl Bildt said. “Remember Crimea. He [Putin] denied everything concerning Crimea until very very late.”

    FWIW.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  75. 75.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @Bob In Portland: Don’t forget the Trilateral Commission!!11 And the Bilderberg Group!!!11

    Let’s remember lots of things, but try to talk about one at a time. OK?

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  76. 76.

    Mnemosyne

    @Bob In Portland:

    Yes, it’s almost as though, despite your firm belief otherwise, NATO and the European Union don’t actually want a full-on war with Russia and so don’t want to present information that would require them to declare war.

    So far, the only country that seems eager to start a war here is Russia. Everyone else seems to be doing their level best to avoid one, even if it means not taking action against Russia for the deaths of everyone on that airliner.

  77. 77.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    Latest pictures from NATO, August 28th.

    Dutch Brigadier General Nico Tak, director of the Comprehensive Crisis and Operations Management Centre (CCOMC), Allied Command Operations said the images confirmed what NATO and its Allies had been seeing for weeks from other sources.

    “Over the past two weeks we have noted a significant escalation in both the level and sophistication of Russia’s military interference in Ukraine,” said Brigadier General Tak. “The satellite images released today provide additional evidence that Russian combat soldiers, equipped with sophisticated heavy weaponry, are operating inside Ukraine’s sovereign territory,” he said.

    These latest images provide concrete examples of Russian activity inside Ukraine, but are only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the overall scope of Russian troop and weapons movements.

    “We have also detected large quantities of advanced weapons, including air defence systems, artillery, tanks, and armoured personnel carriers being transferred to separatist forces in Eastern Ukraine,” said Brigadier General Tak. “The presence of these weapons along with substantial numbers of Russian combat troops inside Ukraine make the situation increasingly grave,” he said.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  78. 78.

    J R in WV

    @MomSense:

    Where are you located? We could handle another kitty, we only have two who are both about 12 or 13. We try to adopt more young kitties while the current kitties are still pretty active, so they can all get used to each other without too many problems.

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