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Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

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He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

You are here: Home / His cellmate will call him ‘squeaky’

His cellmate will call him ‘squeaky’

by | 100 Comments

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In an otherwise bad month for cops (lord do I not want to do a compilation linkfest) this story is kind of therapeutic.

A Pittsburgh man suspected of sexually assaulting women on a popular jogging lane got more than he bargained for when he tried to strip the pants off a woman who proved to be a United States Marshal on Tuesday, The Patriot-News reports.

According to court documents, Robert Flynn, 19, ran up to the U.S. Marshal, groped her buttocks and pulled down her shorts. The marshal — who is not named, as she was the victim of a sexual assault — pulled up her pants and identified herself, yelling, “Federal marshal! Stop!”

She then asked passersby to call 911 while she pursued Flynn, who was attempting to flee on foot. The marshal caught up with him in a nearby apartment complex, where she cornered him behind a staircase. Flynn “attempted to charge” the marshal, who “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,” so she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed him by the shoulder, then repeatedly punched him in the face.

Someone give her a medal.

***Update***

Seems aprop.

out_of_sight_wanting_to_tussle

Reader Interactions

100Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I’m trying really hard to think of a good response to this, and I’m having problems, because yes, this is a kinda therapeutic story after so many stories of truly terrible behavior by law enforcement officers.

  5. 5.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Dude did not know how to pick a target. He now understands what happens when the person you assaulted fights back.

  8. 8.

    pamelabrown53

    @Tokyokie: Probably, kicking him in the crotch would force his voice to a higher register?!

    Guess this has been answered multiple times…ooops.

  9. 9.

    scav

    @Ruviana: Yup, even though she “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,”. There will no doubt be cries that this is exactly why wimminz iz unfit for modern policework and why wimminz enable the rape.

  10. 10.

    boatboy_srq

    Dollars to doughnuts Flynn’s defense will be some fusion of “boys will be boys” and “sluts in short shorts are asking for it anyway”. He may even go so far as to claim that it was all consensual until they noticed they were being watched, and she got freaked out by the voyeur(s).

    Flynn “attempted to charge” the marshal, who “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,” so she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed him by the shoulder, then repeatedly punched him in the face.

    This is the best part. Though (again) Flynn will probably whine and cry about how “she changed her mind”, and his PD will try to file countercharges for assault because she injured the accused and possibly harmed his ability to procreate (though here it’s hard to see why that’s a bad thing).

  12. 12.

    Brian R.

    Dear Ferguson Cops,

    This woman took down a perp who actually assaulted her with her own hands and feet. Why are you such fucking pussies?

    Sincerely,
    The World

  13. 13.

    Roger Moore

    @Ruviana:

    Notice she didn’t need to shoot or even tase him!

    That was exactly what I noticed. She did beat the shit out of him, though, which seems like it’s not something that should be praised unless it was absolutely necessary.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    @Roger Moore:

    I don’t have a problem with actual self-defense necessary to subdue a suspect. It’s the bullshit claims that the cop had to shoot the guy who was standing 20 feet away with his hands raised that bother me.

  18. 18.

    Belafon

    @Roger Moore: No telling how many times is “repeatedly”, but she wasn’t carrying a gun with her, so I’m sure she thought she had to incapacitate him.

  22. 22.

    Tim F.

    @Cluttered Mind: Yep. Men who commit sexual assault usually have a long pattern of behavior that just gets reinforced every time they get away with hurting someone. A severe beating by a woman who won’t put up with that shit can break that pattern. If nothing else think of it as a service to the women he would have attacked in the future.

  24. 24.

    boatboy_srq

    @Cluttered Mind: Speaking as a man, I am fully in favor of victims beating the sh!t out of scumbags who try to rape them. Rape knows no gender-specifics, and heterosexism doesn’t help matters.

    Sorry – but you hit a personal sore spot there.

  25. 25.

    Mnemosyne

    @Monty:

    That probably didn’t hurt, but the marshall also probably didn’t have a weapon with her. Only an ammosexual would go jogging while carrying a gun.

  26. 26.

    Tone In DC

    @Brian R.:

    Dear Ferguson Cops,

    This woman took down a perp who actually assaulted her with her own hands and feet. Why are you such fucking racist shitbags?

    Sincerely,
    The World

    FTFY.

  28. 28.

    Poopyman

    @Tim F.:

    A severe beating by a woman who won’t put up with that shit can break that pattern.

    So will a long term in a confined space with much bigger men than yourself.

  29. 29.

    Tim F.

    @Poopyman: It feels like they have been there forever. I just ignore them. You can email Cole about it but I think he feels that if Newsmax wants to support this blog then more power to them.

  33. 33.

    John Cole +0

    @Tim F.: You completely fail as a blogger. How could you post that story and leave out the absolutely most awesome-est detail ever:

    Police say the victim injured her pinky finger in the struggle.

    She chased him down, kicked him in the junk, repeatedly bludgeoned him in the head and neck, and her only injury was her… pinky.

    That cop rules.

  40. 40.

    boatboy_srq

    @John Cole +0: That also tells me just what an entitled little pr!ck Flynn was: he thought “she’s hawt” and went for her never dreaming that a [gasp] girl was better at hand-to-hand than he was. I hope she gets him convicted, and gets herself a medal AND a photo op with POTUS.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    OK, un AdBlocked BJ reveals just the normal crap from Noisemax, such as Romney Decries Obama Military Cuts, properly spaced and so forth, Chrome running on Win 7.

    The Marquis de Mittens should STFU.

    Well, it’s clear that ISIS is the new boogey man for the hide under the bed crowd that is the Noisemax target audience.

  45. 45.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    I’m trying to find a downside here, and I’m failing. I bet Mr. Groper will think twice before doing it again.

  51. 51.

    stibbert

    Squeaky guy did a really poor job selecting his victim – I’d imagine he could be facing a federal rap for assaulting a US Marshal. & w/ any luck, his arrest will solve some outstanding cases & add to his probs.

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    @Mnemosyne:
    Earlier in the morning it had some test messages. I guess they changed their format slightly. Before, it wouldn’t all fit into the box vertically, so the top headline would often be cut off. Now it looks as if they’ve forced the text not to wrap, so it no longer overflows vertically, but it may be cut off on the right.

  54. 54.

    hitchhiker

    As others have noted, you left out the best line of the story, which I can only imagine gave the writer much joy:

    The marshal hurt her pinky finger in the fight, but was treated and quickly released from Pittsburgh’s Mercy Hospital that same night.

    Hahahahaha.

  55. 55.

    Tommy

    @Roger Moore: I want to be careful here. But been a WordPress developer for six plus years. It is a pretty straightforward app to deal with. I see and hear problems here and it shouldn’t be a problem.

  57. 57.

    David in NY

    @Poopyman: OK, the title wasn’t a prison rape joke (as folks above explained), but that was. Not funny or appropriate. Pretty much like the 2nd Amendmenters saying she should’ve shot him. Stupid and mean.

  61. 61.

    sjrea

    I don’t have a problem with feeling some satisfaction about this story, but i can’t be the only one to see parallels to the Fergusson case.

    When it’s “our” team beating the hell out of an alleged bad guy and giving sketchy reasons (in this case, identical claims, e.g. i was chasing him and then suddenly he was charging me and i feared for my safety) we applaud with glee, but when it’s “our” team on the receiving end of violence we are quick to shout “police brutality”.

    I will never understand how these contradictory impulses don’t trouble some of you folks..

  69. 69.

    ShadeTail

    @Paul in KY: Laughing that he got beat up for assaulting someone tougher than he is? Yes, no problem there. Suggesting that he should get raped because of it? No, huge problem there. That is not something to joke about, ever. Nobody deserves to get raped, no matter what kind of scum they are.

    Having said that, I’m not sure Dave interpreted that comment correctly, and I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. But the dislike of prison rape jokes, in and of itself, has my full agreement.

  70. 70.

    Tim F.

    @ShadeTail: I think Paul was implying that the bigger people would beat him up. Rapists rank pretty low in prison, one notch above people who harm children. They get beaten up a lot.

  71. 71.

    ShadeTail

    @Tim F.: I edited my comment to add that second paragraph before I saw yours pop up. Sorry about accidentally stepping on your foot there. :)

    Anyway, I hope that’s what Paul meant. I understand why Dave took it differently, though.

  72. 72.

    Botsplainer

    @sjrea:

    When it’s “our” team beating the hell out of an alleged bad guy and giving sketchy reasons (in this case, identical claims, e.g. i was chasing him and then suddenly he was charging me and i feared for my safety) we applaud with glee, but when it’s “our” team on the receiving end of violence we are quick to shout “police brutality”.

    She’s the victim. A victim beating the living shit out of a would-be sex perp at the time of the attempt is a wonderful deterrent to other would-be sex perps, and my “give-a-fuck” meter doesn’t even register at all when the victim administers a thorough ass-kicking.

    He’s lucky to be alive.

    Retire your Mumia sweatshirt, please.

  74. 74.

    Botsplainer

    @Tim F.:

    Rapists rank pretty low in prison, one notch above people who harm children.

    Locally, a recent drive-by went real bad – the morons targeted the wrong house and killed a 1 year old infant that wasn’t the kid of any of the warring crews. Apparently, everybody in the can is now gunning for the guys who got caught, and their laundry is coming to them marked, so they can be identified. From what I understand, at least one of them lost his shit in court over the threats and ass-kickings, and was begging for the judge to do something to help them out, but the judge’s “give-a-fuck” meter was busted.

    As I heard it, the guy’s own crew is out for him, too – lots and lots of bad blood on this one.

  75. 75.

    Mnemosyne

    @sjrea:

    So you think that the marshal is lying about having been sexually assaulted? That’s a pretty serious charge to make.

    ETA: The issue with Ferguson is that Michael Brown wasn’t doing anything wrong when he was shot. There’s a difference between chasing down and subduing a suspect who actually committed a crime and shooting someone for walking in the street instead of on the sidewalk. I really hope you can understand the difference between the two.

  76. 76.

    Botsplainer

    @Mnemosyne:

    So you think that the marshal is lying about having been sexually assaulted? That’s a pretty serious charge to make.

    I think the expectation is that she was supposed to sit and wait for the local PD so she could make a report of the crime and get into some trauma counseling. It isn’t civilized to have victims crush their enemies, see them driven before them or hear the lamentations of their women.

    The handwringing attitude is what invites hyperaggressive, militaristic backlash.

  78. 78.

    boatboy_srq

    @sjrea: … so, to square this for you, the US marshal should have just closed her eyes and thought of Ahmurrcah. Got it. Nothing like lying back and accepting being a victim because Violence Is Always Wrong.

    Next you’ll tell us that her jogging shorts were provocative, and she shouldn’t have worn them (out jogging, duh) if she didn’t want to be accosted.

    I sure hope you’re not a rape counselor.

  81. 81.

    Paul in KY

    @Tim F.: I was only talking about how funny it was that he tries to victimize Person A, and Person A beats the crap out of him. That Person A is a woman, makes it even funnier.

  82. 82.

    cckids

    This reminds me of a story from the 2004 ?? Olympics. A man broke into the room of a female Olympic fencer. She woke up, grabbed her sword & attacked him; he was caught. My favorite part of the story was the last line:

    “The suspect was treated at a local hospital for scratches, bruising and shock”.

    Picked the wrong target, he did.

  85. 85.

    Gravenstone

    @sjrea: Yeah, because using non-lethal physical force is EXACTLY the same as emptying a 10 round magazine into a surrendered suspect (and environs).

  86. 86.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    @Mnemosyne: Don’t tell that to the ammosexuals posting s0ft pr0|\| of scantily clad models with pistols held in suggestive poses (never knew that many people were into Dirty Pair cosplay, didja?)

    A tough woman trained in martial arts? Piss yourself.

  87. 87.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    I once had a professor who in a former life had done something similar to a mugger in Philadelphia after immigrating to the US following her stint in the IDF and college where she’d written her final exams using male gendered verbs.

    The guy threatened her with a knife, she put him in a headlock and gave him a choice of a quick death or running away. She was a short woman, dude probably thought she was easy pickings. Now that’s a BAMF.

  88. 88.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    @Poopyman:

    So will a long term in a confined space with much bigger men than yourself.

    Bullshit and you know it. “South Carolina’s Worst Serial Killer” had an anti-social disorder prior to going into prison, but he really ramped up the anger, hatred, and depraved indifference to human life after being made a “punk” in state prison as a young man.

    I see that a Pee Wee Gaskins docu, “The Meanest Man In America” is posted multiple times to Youtube (British narrator) but I think he was also featured on another one of those crime shows where they interviewed his daughter.

  89. 89.

    boatboy_srq

    @ShadeTail: Anyone who suggests that a potential rape victim using violence in self-defense and (in this case especially since she is a law enforcement professional) to bring the rapist to justice is somehow inappropriate, and uses “‘Cops Kill Black Kid = Bad,’ but ‘Cop Thwarts Rapist Trying To Rape Said Cop By Beating Him Up = Good’ really needs rethinking” as the logic for that, deserves all the scorn we can heap on. sjrea compared this to Ferguson, and stated outright that celebrating a victim fighting back was wrong because Ferguson. That don’t wash.

    Rape is a horrible, humiliating event. Anyone who can fend off a rape is a hero in my book (I couldn’t and I’m still dealing with it 20-odd years later, so I have real respect for anyone that can). And our unnamed US Marshal not only did that, but she probably brought a serial rapist (judging solely from the published information and the circumstances of the attack, so I could be wrong here but strongly doubt that) to justice in a highly effective way – while still leaving the guy alive for trial. Suggesting that isn’t worthy of celebration because Black People Are Getting Shot By Cops doesn’t just say that our delight is misplaced – it’s says that the Marshal’s behavior was wrong as well, and under the circumstances there were only three options: submit (wrong choice), flee (and find some [male] policeman who will [possibly] believe the story to defend her, which has odious overtones all its own) or fight. Please explain to me why either of the other two options is in any way acceptable.

    Sorry, but while this is an excellent story, and Flynn deserves all the scorn we can heap on him for being both a dumb fvck as well as a rapist, it still touches a bunch of sore points – and suggesting that doing what’s necessary as a law enforcement professional (never mind as a human being) shouldn’t be celebrated because somewhere-other-cops-are-doing-bad-things is thoroughly offensive. The only person who’s holding up a double standard here is sjrea, and by doing so s/he’s victim blaming just as much as anything else, because without a victim who fought back there wouldn’t be the story to celebrate.

  91. 91.

    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer)

    @Botsplainer: Wow, today’s gangbangers are a lot more thoughtful and discerning than my generation’s gangbangers. Nine year old gun downed at the park? No worries, I’ll kill the witnesses.

    I do subscribe to Kevin Drum’s Plumbum theory of criminology. It’s a plausible, testable first order explanation for what we’ve all been through.

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    @ShadeTail:

    What boatboy_srq said, but also I think that sjrea misunderstands the basic appeal of this story. It’s not “cop beats up suspect.” It’s “dumb criminal picks the wrong victim and goes to jail for it.” Simply put, this story would have been equally appealing if the victim had turned out to be an MMA fighter who subdued and held the suspect for police. Which is another reason why the Ferguson comparison is way off-base.

  94. 94.

    ShadeTail

    @boatboy_srq: No matter how you feel about that, the fact remains that you *COMPLETELY* misrepresented sjrea’s post. Comparing this lady’s non-leathal apprehension of her assailant with the Ferguson murder of Mike Brown is, indeed, amazingly dumb. But at no point in that post did sjrea victim-blame or excuse rape in any way. You are simply making that up and putting those words in sjrea’s mouth.

    =====

    @Mnemosyne: Of course the Ferguson comparison was dumb. I said so quite clearly. The problem is that boatboy_srq blatantly misrepresented sjrea’s post by accusing sjrea of saying things that clearly weren’t said.

  95. 95.

    Arclite

    @Roger Moore:

    That was exactly what I noticed. She did beat the shit out of him, though, which seems like it’s not something that should be praised unless it was absolutely necessary.

    Seems like it was necessary. A rare case where the roughing up a perp who was resisting arrest is truly justified.

  96. 96.

    Arclite

    Between attacking the jogger, and attacking the Olympian, I really don’t understand their stupidity. Predators in the wild are smarter than this: they go after the weakest in the herd, not the strongest, most physically fit.

  97. 97.

    boatboy_srq

    @ShadeTail: Let me try this again, then. In simpler terms.

    Saying that a victim successfully defending against an attack is not worthy of celebration is saying that the victim should not have fought back.

    Saying that celebrating a victim successfully defending against an attack, while condemning a jackbooted thug stomping all over civilians because because of their race, is a double standard because the victim and the thug both have badges and police brutality is police brutality regardless of the circumstances, is just plain offensive.

    It’s that simple.

  98. 98.

    JR in WV

    @Omnissiah:

    No no, no. No strawmen in Boatboy’s post. Maybe in the post he was responding to.

    I am all over an aggressor being beat up by his intended victim, and huge props to the US Marshall who captured that POS who attacked you. When you attack someone with no conceivable justification, you give up all right to not get hurt as you are subdued by your victim or the police when they run your lame ass down.

    With the possible exception of kneeling to surrender when they catch up to you, which I don’t think this POS could havr brought himself to do to a woman under any circumstances at that point in his life.

    Again, Props to the Marshall for taking this Piece of Excrement into custody in a necessarily forceful manner.

  99. 99.

    JR in WV

    @ShadeTail:

    sjrea or whatever his nym is accused boatboy of erecting strawmen in his remarks. That was wrong and is indefensible, So STFU about boatboy’s excellent remarks.

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