Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

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173Comments

  2. 2.

    geg6

    Man, you should have heard Merrill Hodge’s rant on WDVE the other day, taking apart the whole Johnny Football crapola that has ESPN slobbering all over the guy. Said Johnny Football was gonna be an even bigger bust than Football Jesus was. It was fucking awesome and hilarious.

    Go Stillers!

  3. 3.

    JPL

    @geg6: I’m going to watch the hometown Falcons and hope they can pull out a victory against the Saints. I expect someone, to let me know, if Manziel goes in. I’d change the channel because I want to watch the Stillers squish him.

  6. 6.

    Villago Delenda Est

    My, the Ravens fans are REALLY laid back, aren’t they?

    FYWP ate my comment on the Only Team That Matters, so screw it, I won’t repost it.

  7. 7.

    Corner Stone

    I, for one, hope a Watt+Clowney combo hit/sack/knockdown RGCheese about elebenty times today before he gets pulled.

  8. 8.

    Corner Stone

    @Villago Delenda Est: Seahawks looked pretty darn good the other night.
    I don’t think GB is as hapless as they looked, but the Seattle O-line just ate them for breakfast lunch and dinner.

  9. 9.

    Suffern ACE

    I didn’t think it would be close but from what I hear, if the Browns win, the Scots will stay in the Union.

  10. 10.

    Bob In Portland

    Warming up out on the coast with the Red Zone. Niners go to Dallas for a later game. Life is good.

  14. 14.

    srv

    I think it’s time this Shawn guy got his own room, you can have animals living on your couch but a grown man?

    And what is Obama doing about Scotland? Is he going to let ISIS move there too?

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Is it wrong of me to hope for two QB injuries for the Browns? I’m so fucking tired of the “Johnny Football” hype of those assclowns at ESPN.

  17. 17.

    Corner Stone

    @Villago Delenda Est: I like Hoyer, and think he could be pretty good given a shot.
    I don’t root for injuries, but with Johnny it’s going to be inevitable. He looked pretty sharp scrambling in pre-season but now he’ll be against the 1’s.

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @p.a.: Team, not Band.

    As for bands, well, there’s The Band and The Beatles, and then there’s everyone else.

  25. 25.

    max

    Hrmmm, I can watch the Washington DC team against the formerly 2-14 Texans, or I can watch the 8-8 Ravens v. the 11-5 Browns. Gosh, a difficult choice.

    max
    [‘We need RGIII against Manziel so amusing things will happen.’]

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    @Villago Delenda Est: It is still my sincere contention that Tebow should be the starting QB in Jacksonville right now. They’d go 8 – 8 instead of the 4 – 12 they might possibly achieve.

  31. 31.

    Violet

    Lily! Just love her.

    Does Shawn have any problem with you posting photos of him in his Party Animal pajama bottoms?

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    PatFitz’ beard is so full it’s sticking out sideways through his helmet, making him look like a walrus face.

  43. 43.

    Corner Stone

    Good news / bad news. WAS scored a TD but Watt stuffed the extra point.
    That was a close call on the potential fumble by WAS near the goal line, but I think they got it right as down by contact.

  45. 45.

    Amir Khalid

    @Corner Stone:
    I wouldn’t say I’m aroused by the idea, but I know that Denzel’s Equalizer will be very different from Edward Woodward’s. He’s not going to be driving that beautiful Jag around New York City or wearing the sharp suits — neither would be plausible for the working-class cover that Denzel’s character will be working under.

  47. 47.

    Randy P

    @Corner Stone: I’m really looking forward to the new take on it.

    As a fan of the original series, I was very amused when I later saw The Wicker Man, with Edward Woodward as an investigating cop who is very straight-laced and puritanical, attributes that turn out not to work out so well for him.

  52. 52.

    max

    ‘How bad was the DC team? They was so bad, they got the crapped kicked out of them by the Houston Texans on opening day.’

    Dan Snyder must be suffering claustrophobia, looking up from the depths of 1-15 land.

    OTOH, the Baltimore offense can’t run. Can’t pass either. Things would be terrible except the Bengals version of Google maps seems to lack ‘END ZONE’ as a destination.

    max
    [‘Dig the three yard passing play on second and fifteen.’]

  55. 55.

    Amir Khalid

    In less than ten minutes, world champions Germany will play their first competitive match since the World Cup final: at home to Scotland in Group D of the Euro 2016 qualifiers. Nobody really fancies the Scots’ chances; Germany’s shirts now have four World Cup Champion’ stars above the Deutsche Fußballbund badge.

  56. 56.

    Amir Khalid

    @Origuy:
    The city of Glasgow deserves to be bombed. Can you imagine a more heinous sin against food than deep-frying Mars bars in batter?

  57. 57.

    WaterGirl

    I think this photo of Lily and Shawn belongs in the dictionary next to the definition of “lazy day”.

  58. 58.

    Corner Stone

    It is getting some kind of nasty for weather in the Greater Houston Metro Area. Kinda lightningy and thunderingy.
    Just remember, I love you all. Including broccoli, fuck the haters.

  65. 65.

    jl

    Out on the left coast, I graciously hope that the Steelers beat the whoopin’ out of the Ravens, and hope Cole enjoys it.

    Note that down, as evidence of my good will when later in the season, at some point, I may have to wish humiliating defeat upon the Pissburgh Sitllers.

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    @Steeplejack: Vegas? Been there so many times I lost count. There for something or relocating?

    ETA, and it’s nuts there when it rains hard. Pretty cool if you’ve never experienced it. I was there one January where it very briefly snowed lightly on the strip.

  72. 72.

    Rosalita

    It’s Sunday, I just woke up from my own nap, it’s in the handbook. Lily really makes the picture.

  75. 75.

    Corner Stone

    I swear FitzPat must be about 4 of 20 on pass attempts so far. Thankfully one of them was for a 76yd TD.

  77. 77.

    CaseyL

    Is anyone else watching NO at ATL? Anton Smith just scored on a long run.

    Sportscasters are worse than middle school girls. They lavish praise on a player or a team, note how unstoppable they are and how hapless the other team is…then if the tide turns, they pivot and suddenly laud the other team as if they don’t remember what they said five minutes ago.

  78. 78.

    Cermet

    Raven fans (as one) had better start rooting for the steelers since the Ravens look to lose at least 10 -12 games … if they play the rest like a team rather than a high school team … .

  80. 80.

    Howard Beale IV

    Speaking of the NFL, that concession company CEO arsehole who was abusing the poor pup?

    He’s now an ex-CEO.

  82. 82.

    Amir Khalid

    Scotland are doing better against Germany (only 1-0 down) than Brazil did in that World Cup semifinal. Are Scotland that good, Brazil that bad, or Germany weakened by all those international retirements?

  84. 84.

    Corner Stone

    Anybody watching the Raiders at the Jets? I’m curious if it’s as miserable as the box score shows.

  88. 88.

    JPL

    Although I was listening to the Falcons, since I was prepping some food, I was not looking at scores. What happened to the Steelers and why are the Pats losing? Unfortunately, the Saints don’t appear willing to just quit and let us win.

  89. 89.

    jl

    @jl: Browns? I thought Ravens. Whoever, the Steelers have my permission to win today. Makes me a little queasy to say that, but might as well get one of their wins over with.

  90. 90.

    Corner Stone

    “Oh, that’s terrifying.” Small head nod.
    I love that woman in the AT&T commercial with Gordon Ramsey.

  93. 93.

    JPL

    The Falcons went ahead but it appears that with one minute and forty seconds left, the saints have times to score. They are on the six yard line. ugh

  94. 94.

    Corner Stone

    Yes! Turnover on downs.
    RGCheese will simply not last the season. Either injury or the eventual benching. He will not be the WAS starter by the playoffs.
    I’ll say three more games +/-. He is awful.

  103. 103.

    Gene108

    Jaguars come back down to Earth in the second half after getting a 17-0 half-time lead on the Eagles.

  104. 104.

    JR in WV

    I liked the Browns comeback, sorry they didn’t manage to pull it off at the end. Have been a Stillers fan for a long time, can’t stand Ben, though.

    Not happy to see the Hotlanta birds tie NOLA at the end, either… grrr.

    Glad to see the Jets win, Geno is a nice guy and a skilled person who deserves the win. Hoping the team holds on to have a decent season.

    How ’bout those ‘Eers?!

  106. 106.

    CaseyL

    Holy hell. Saints lose the ball on first play in OT. Falcons get the ball on NO 38.

    …and Falcons win on a 52-yard FG.

  110. 110.

    Corner Stone

    Is it wrong to say I find Wendy Davis to be an attractive woman?
    This New Era of Civility ™ is hard.

  111. 111.

    JR in WV

    In what journalistic world is Aikman qualified to call a Cowboys game?

    He only spent his entire career with them, how can he call an honest game?

  112. 112.

    CaseyL

    Now watching Dallas at San Fran. H’mm… the team I’ve always hated versus the Seahawks’ main rival. Gonna be tough to know who to root for.

    … well, that didn’t take long. This has been a day for turnovers.

  113. 113.

    max

    @Corner Stone: RGCheese will simply not last the season. Either injury or the eventual benching. He will not be the WAS starter by the playoffs. I’ll say three more games +/-. He is awful.

    Three games before being benched is exactly what I was thinking. That fumble on first and goal was funny.

    max
    [‘I don’t think his knee works.’]

  114. 114.

    jl

    @Corner Stone: I don’t know. If I were gay, I might find Perry an attractive man, as long as he kept his mouth shut, washed himself, and was no longer a danger to the public. And kept the glasses on, that would def help.

    Am I wrong to thing that? I know for damn sure I am wrong to say it.

  116. 116.

    Corner Stone

    @jl: I think Perry would absolutely fit the role of a “Segundo” on a cow ranch. He’s aging really well and has an awesome head of full hair, like Mitt.
    But the man just can’t open his mouth without retracting any vestiges of sex appeal. He’s an idiot and I find that less than attractive no matter what gender or sexuality you bring it with.
    Wendy Davis, otoh, is an extremely attractive woman and although she’s had her missteps and is more conservative than I care for, she still seems to be very sharp. I don’t get the sense she’s on the grift. I think she really wants to do the public service role.

  117. 117.

    jl

    @J.: In a past life, I would have cared. Well, duh Raidduhs didn’t totally stink up the joint. I think their defense was missing some players, so… Well, we will see next week.

    Niners ahead. Why are they letting those bums advance the ball against them?

  118. 118.

    Cacti

    Don’t want to read too much into the first game, but the Pats/Dolphins really surprised me.

    Nearly all of NE’s offseason upgrades were on defense, and they gave up 5 second half scores.

  119. 119.

    Corner Stone

    @max: he looked awful. Period. He took two sacks he had no business taking. One of them took his team out of potential field goal range.
    The fumble during hand off inside the Texans 10 was awesome. He was flustered and visibly not ready to call/execute that play.
    He is not an NFL QB. There is no evidence to the contrary to make the case that he deserves a starting spot, or even a roster spot. He can’t plant his back foot and throw accurately, he is simply not as fast as he thinks he is, and he can NOT make reads on the defensive formation. He can’t check down or spot his target. He’s scared shitless on just about every passing play.
    Kurt Warner on the NFL network’s Warner’s Corner absolutely revealed RGCheese’s weaknesses and poor reads. It was brutal.

  120. 120.

    jl

    @Corner Stone: Wendy Davis >>>>>>>>>>>> Rich (Edit: Rick, Ricky, Richard, whatever) Perry in every respect. I am hetero, so there, I admit some prejudice. I hope that was PC enough.

    But that sex appeal issue. PC-enough? and liberal gripes are not important today, unless we wish to discuss the working conditions of pro football cheerleaders, and general horror of the US football sporting festival business.

    But I will put even those aside for the next hour or two, since the Niners are not destroying the Dallas Dingbats enough, and I am concerned.

  122. 122.

    Amir Khalid

    It’s over in Germany. Scotland have bravely taken the fight to the world champions and were unlucky to lose 2-1. Meanwhile Christiano Ronaldo’s Portugal have lost 0-1(at home!) to lowly Albania, and Gibraltar’s all-amateur team have lost 0-7 to Poland.

    I do miss Randinho.

  125. 125.

    CaseyL

    @jl:

    the Niners are not destroying the Dallas Dingbats enough, and I am concerned.

    14-3. Feeling better now? Props to Kaepernick for some fancy footwork.

  126. 126.

    jl

    @CaseyL: AAAA-yaaa-upp. Ol’ Scampernick coming through. Looks better.

    How does Corner Stone like ol’ SCAMPERNICK now, huh? Do not tempt the fates, Do not, do not, I say, mess with the Turlock Kid. He will have his day.

    BTW, confess I am a half hearted football fan. Sure I want duh Raiduhs to win and hope the lil’ fellahs don’t get hoit, certainly want Niners to win. But watch the whole game, 100 percent of the time, and those goofy commercials?

    I see on the internet news that Blue Whale population off CA coast back to pre-whaling levels. Com on out, folks to sunny CA for your Blue Whale watching.

    See that NOT ONE WV town shows up on the list of 10 cities with most dangerous diets. Something seems wrong about that…

    Edit: OTOH, maybe roadkill, mostly being game is healthier than, say corn and chicken-shit and carboard fed beef. I should do some homework before I shoot my mouth off about that.

    Got a few One Weird Trick to do whatever ads to gawk at while watching for somebody to move on the football field. 2 hours of game with 30 seconds of motion. Weird tempo to that game. Makes my jumpy some how.

  132. 132.

    jl

    @raven: If some kind BJ commenter could go me a little one day notice cross-country airfare, I would love to attend. I like Savannah. I’ll check flights to get there in time now.

  136. 136.

    raven

    @jl: I know, it’s kind of off the beaten path but tybee and I are gonna say hello so it seemed good to ask.

  140. 140.

    Corner Stone

    @jl: I’m not sure that at this point, a backwards lateral could be any worse than the way he’s decided to go with it.

  141. 141.

    Corner Stone

    @stibbert: I’m just wondering. Just a shot in the dark here.
    How many other guys are still wearing pajama bottoms while lounging round the abode?

    *And by still, I mean +30 years old, etc.

  142. 142.

    CaseyL

    One play I thought SF should have been penalized for a couple series ago, when a defender appeared to spear a Dallas WR in the back, but it didn’t get called.

  143. 143.

    jl

    @raven: Wow! I take that as a yes, raven. You are so kind. I picked the most expensive option to make it a real party. Can be there for $1500.95, plus all the fees. I will bring my own party money for the all night stay over. Won’t need a hotel room. Will go straight to airport next morning.

  144. 144.

    Violet

    I took a nap. I almost never take naps. Even if I want to nap, I’ll lie down and never fall asleep. I am a nap failure.

    The only time I nap successfully is when I’m sick. I don’t feel great so I really hope I’m not getting sick and the successful nap will take care of whatever the issue is. Maybe it’s the two-a-days I’ve been pulling of a hard workout at the gym and an hour or two in the garden until dark. Whatever it is, my body just said, “Nope. Not working today. Go nap.” So I did.

  146. 146.

    CaseyL

    Dallas can rely on Tony Romo to…. throw another interception.

    “He’s just not seeing the field real well today,” says the announcer.

  147. 147.

    The Thin Black Duke

    @efgoldman: I think Belichick is a good coach, but he’s a lousy GM, and it’s finally going to bite him on the ass this season.

  150. 150.

    Dog On Porch

    @CaseyL: Seattle is the class of the league, but speaking as a Niner fan I’m pleasantly surprised how easily they slipped into a higher gear after their lackluster pre-season. Or could be Dallas is just that bad.

    Where’s Craig Morton when you need him? Tony Romo- what a NFL saga he’s still carving for himself.

  153. 153.

    Dog On Porch

    A State Of The Cowboys report: there is a huge contingent of Niner fans in Jerry Jones Stadium today. That tells me Cowboy fans are fed up, and unloading their tickets as a result.

  154. 154.

    Dog On Porch

    The refs in today’s Niner-Cowboys game must have agreed to be paid after the game. They’re the only reason Dallas still has a prayer.

    There a few things lamer than a fan bitching about refs. But there has been more than a few calls today against the Niners that have been inexcusable, including 2 that just led to a Cowboy score. Aikman himself minutes earlier mentioned that “New York” (NFL headquarters) won’t like what they’ll be called on to review.

  155. 155.

    2liberal

    @efgoldman: RE the Patriots

    It’s only game one. But they sure didn’t look like a dominant defense like everyone expected them to be with Revis and the return of Wilfork and Mayo.

  156. 156.

    Dog On Porch

    There was just another absolute horse-shit call, one that killed a Niners drive, and that Aikman himself on air essentially just declared as being “an absolute horse-shit call”. It’s like the replacement refs are back in the saddle.

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m two-thirds of the way through a three-week bid of house- and dog-sitting for my RWNJ brother while he’s on a motorcycle trip in South America.

    And we did get a nice little rain just now. I’m on the southeast side of town (Henderson), but all afternoon I’ve been seeing flash-flood warnings on TV for the west side.

  161. 161.

    Steeplejack

    @The Sailor:

    LOL. And true. I just went out on the patio to experience the light rain that came up, and, although I could see droplets hitting the concrete, I could barely feel them.

    But it smells good, and it has kept the temp down to 77°. And that’s way down. This time yesterday it was 100°.

  163. 163.

    Dog On Porch

    Re: Niners-Cowboys

    On top of the abysmal officiating, Dez Bryant turns up “dehydrated” late in the game?

    I honestly entertain a gambling angle in this game. And I haven’t done that (seriously) since the days of a QB I both rooted for, and will always unreservedly admire, Kenny Stabler.

    Addendum: The Cowboys just scored, so maybe not. I don’t gamble myself, so what the hell do I know?

  164. 164.

    The Sailor

    @Steeplejack:

    I just went out on the patio to experience the light rain that came up, and, although I could see droplets hitting the concrete, I could barely feel them.

    I experienced virga several times when I lived in LV.
    Good news about the heat breaking.

  166. 166.

    Steeplejack

    @The Sailor:

    I just talked to my old college friend who has lived here in Vegas for 10 or 15 years. She said the forecast for tomorrow is a high of 83° and a 60% chance of thunderstorms, and when they say “thunderstorm” here they mean some serious shit, not just rain with romantic thunder in the distance.

  170. 170.

    Steeplejack

    @Corner Stone:

    Yes, we span the spectrum of dysfunctionality. I think a good portion of RWNJ brother’s RWNJ-ness is due to lifelong struggles with major depression—from whence misanthropic lonerism, etc.—and in my more pessimistic moments I sometimes wonder whether Bro’ Man is not a Mitt Romney-style “establishment” Republican only because he’s gay. As a member of an outsider minority that they didn’t (don’t) want in the club, he was able to see their bullshit for what it is and also to see past his own status to that of other minorities. And that’s to his credit. But he still has some vestigial right-wing reflexes that pop up occasionally. Unions? Unions bad! Tap him on the knee and watch his leg react. Usually I can talk him off the ledge, but sometimes I feel that he shouldn’t be on the ledge in the first place.

    Note: vast oversimplications above.

  171. 171.

    Steeplejack

    @Mnemosyne:

    Yes, when we lived in the west Texas desert when I was a kid there weren’t any mountains around, so we got very little rain at all in the summer. Las Vegas is in a big bowl with mountains all around, so there is more, or at least more intense, precipitation here.

    Thanks for the update on your blog. I’ll check it out in a bit. Also, TCM is showing some more movies with Warren William and Aline MacMahon this week—Tuesday, I think. I’ll recheck the details.

    ETA: Hmm, looks like mostly an Aline MacMahon day, starting at 7:45 a.m. EDT Tuesday with Edward G. Robinson in Silver Dollar (1933). Then her and Warren William in The Mouthpiece (1932) at 9:15. Even some Guy Kibbee action at noon with Big-Hearted Herbert (1934).

  173. 173.

    Steeplejack

    @Mnemosyne:

    Yesterday I had to sheepishly admit to myself that I hadn’t watched Gold Diggers of 1933 in a long time and that I really enjoyed seeing it again. There was so much to like that had gotten fuzzy in memory, like Aline MacMahon as Trixie. Occupational hazard of getting older. “Oh, I’ve seen that movie a hundred times. I’ll skip it.” Well, if you haven’t seen it in five or 10 years, maybe it is worth watching again.

    ETA: Looking forward to Warren William in The Mouthpiece. Don’t think I’ve seen it before. “A shaken prosecutor turns underworld lawyer after sending an innocent man to the electric chair.”

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