NFL Open Thread by John Cole| September 7, 201412:43 pm| 173 CommentsThis post is in: SportsFacebookTweetEmailGo Steelers! Beat them Browns! *** Update *** Walked into the living room, and apparently Ravens fans are not as excited about the Steelers game as I am:
As if anyone expects anything less to happen
Man, you should have heard Merrill Hodge’s rant on WDVE the other day, taking apart the whole Johnny Football crapola that has ESPN slobbering all over the guy. Said Johnny Football was gonna be an even bigger bust than Football Jesus was. It was fucking awesome and hilarious.
@geg6: I’m going to watch the hometown Falcons and hope they can pull out a victory against the Saints. I expect someone, to let me know, if Manziel goes in. I’d change the channel because I want to watch the Stillers squish him.
Is he wearing “Party Animal” pajama bottoms?
Villago Delenda Est
My, the Ravens fans are REALLY laid back, aren’t they?
FYWP ate my comment on the Only Team That Matters, so screw it, I won’t repost it.
I, for one, hope a Watt+Clowney combo hit/sack/knockdown RGCheese about elebenty times today before he gets pulled.
@Villago Delenda Est: Seahawks looked pretty darn good the other night.
I don’t think GB is as hapless as they looked, but the Seattle O-line just ate them for breakfast lunch and dinner.
I didn’t think it would be close but from what I hear, if the Browns win, the Scots will stay in the Union.
Bob In Portland
Warming up out on the coast with the Red Zone. Niners go to Dallas for a later game. Life is good.
Apparently, FYWP has decided I do not have permission to edit my comment.
The 2 greatest pieces of theme music in TV history
I think it’s time this Shawn guy got his own room, you can have animals living on your couch but a grown man?
And what is Obama doing about Scotland? Is he going to let ISIS move there too?
Villago Delenda Est
Is it wrong of me to hope for two QB injuries for the Browns? I’m so fucking tired of the “Johnny Football” hype of those assclowns at ESPN.
I’ll let you know.
@Villago Delenda Est: I like Hoyer, and think he could be pretty good given a shot.
I don’t root for injuries, but with Johnny it’s going to be inevitable. He looked pretty sharp scrambling in pre-season but now he’ll be against the 1’s.
@Villago Delenda Est: The Clash?
How are you two going to survive Thursday night?
Villago Delenda Est
@Corner Stone: Well, at least he has some talent that might make an impact on the NFL, which is loads more than I can say about Jesus Boy.
Villago Delenda Est
@p.a.: Team, not Band.
As for bands, well, there’s The Band and The Beatles, and then there’s everyone else.
JJ Watt for the stop!
3 and out for RGCheese and the Washington Somethings.
Villago Delenda Est
@Corner Stone: I agree, Green Bay is not that bad, it’s just that the Superchickens are that good.
Villago Delenda Est
@Corner Stone: “Indigenous Native Peoples”
Hrmmm, I can watch the Washington DC team against the formerly 2-14 Texans, or I can watch the 8-8 Ravens v. the 11-5 Browns. Gosh, a difficult choice.
[‘We need RGIII against Manziel so amusing things will happen.’]
@Villago Delenda Est: It is still my sincere contention that Tebow should be the starting QB in Jacksonville right now. They’d go 8 – 8 instead of the 4 – 12 they might possibly achieve.
@max: My other game is Pats at Fish. I believe your other choice is not correct in the listing.
Down goes RGCheese! Sacktastic!
Lily! That is an awesome photo, John. So sweet.
I’m oddly aroused by the concept of Denzel as The Equalizer.
Lily! Just love her.
Does Shawn have any problem with you posting photos of him in his Party Animal pajama bottoms?
PatFitz’ beard is so full it’s sticking out sideways through his helmet, making him look like a walrus face.
I’ll want to see it 1st day. Loved the series.
Is it to much to ask for Jones to hold on to the ball. Fumbles are not good.
So, Lily sleeps around. You cool with that, John?
A quick reminder that today is the last day of my 99 cent sale for my Regency romance A Feather To Fly With.
And some puppy pix of Jazzy –
John Cole +0
@Violet: Nope. And he has his own room.
Sacktastic! RGCheese can’t take that sack in that field position. Just cost WAS points.
Recalling Lily’s adoption photos, the once scared little doggie looks awfully relaxed now, doesn’t she?
What’s the deal with Shawn wearing the ball cap 24/7?
@greennotGreen: It has a foil lining?
Good news / bad news. WAS scored a TD but Watt stuffed the extra point.
That was a close call on the potential fumble by WAS near the goal line, but I think they got it right as down by contact.
I wouldn’t say I’m aroused by the idea, but I know that Denzel’s Equalizer will be very different from Edward Woodward’s. He’s not going to be driving that beautiful Jag around New York City or wearing the sharp suits — neither would be plausible for the working-class cover that Denzel’s character will be working under.
Mike in dc
@Suffern ACE: Scotland Prevails!
@Corner Stone: I’m really looking forward to the new take on it.
As a fan of the original series, I was very amused when I later saw The Wicker Man, with Edward Woodward as an investigating cop who is very straight-laced and puritanical, attributes that turn out not to work out so well for him.
Blocked punt! TD Texans special teams!!
@Amir Khalid: That dude was sharp.
Real barn burner with Vikings at Rams.
NFL! Feel the excitement!
@trollhattan: She is one happy girl, with two boys to love. Next thing you know, we’ll be seeing the book “Lily has two dads” for sale on BJ.
‘How bad was the DC team? They was so bad, they got the crapped kicked out of them by the Houston Texans on opening day.’
Dan Snyder must be suffering claustrophobia, looking up from the depths of 1-15 land.
OTOH, the Baltimore offense can’t run. Can’t pass either. Things would be terrible except the Bengals version of Google maps seems to lack ‘END ZONE’ as a destination.
[‘Dig the three yard passing play on second and fifteen.’]
John McCain thinks he should bomb Glasgow.
Pictures of Lily…
In less than ten minutes, world champions Germany will play their first competitive match since the World Cup final: at home to Scotland in Group D of the Euro 2016 qualifiers. Nobody really fancies the Scots’ chances; Germany’s shirts now have four World Cup Champion’ stars above the Deutsche Fußballbund badge.
The city of Glasgow deserves to be bombed. Can you imagine a more heinous sin against food than deep-frying Mars bars in batter?
I think this photo of Lily and Shawn belongs in the dictionary next to the definition of “lazy day”.
It is getting some kind of nasty for weather in the Greater Houston Metro Area. Kinda lightningy and thunderingy.
Just remember, I love you all. Including broccoli, fuck the haters.
BULLSHIT call! BS!!
Awful fucking call. Booooooo!! BOOOOO!!
@Origuy: I’m not sure a Trident sub base should drop bombs on itself. Although that could add a new dimension to MAD.
Karma, bitchez. Fumble turnover to the Texans inside their own 10.
A summary of my understanding of football.
Maybe rain here in Vegas today, which would be cool. I’ve never been here when it rained.
Out on the left coast, I graciously hope that the Steelers beat the whoopin’ out of the Ravens, and hope Cole enjoys it.
Note that down, as evidence of my good will when later in the season, at some point, I may have to wish humiliating defeat upon the Pissburgh Sitllers.
Iowa Old Lady
@Amir Khalid: Yes. I’ve been to the Iowa State Fair. Try deep fried butter on a stick.
@Steeplejack: Vegas? Been there so many times I lost count. There for something or relocating?
ETA, and it’s nuts there when it rains hard. Pretty cool if you’ve never experienced it. I was there one January where it very briefly snowed lightly on the strip.
At least it’s a dry rain.
@Amir Khalid: When did the Indiana State Fair get moved to Glascow??
@Iowa Old Lady:
Now I feel quite ill.
Turnover to the Texans!!
It’s Sunday, I just woke up from my own nap, it’s in the handbook. Lily really makes the picture.
@Iowa Old Lady: I have a friend who would eat just a spoonful of mayo. Not with or on anything.
Creeped me out.
I swear FitzPat must be about 4 of 20 on pass attempts so far. Thankfully one of them was for a 76yd TD.
Nice couch:-) :-)
Is anyone else watching NO at ATL? Anton Smith just scored on a long run.
Sportscasters are worse than middle school girls. They lavish praise on a player or a team, note how unstoppable they are and how hapless the other team is…then if the tide turns, they pivot and suddenly laud the other team as if they don’t remember what they said five minutes ago.
Raven fans (as one) had better start rooting for the steelers since the Ravens look to lose at least 10 -12 games … if they play the rest like a team rather than a high school team … .
Howard Beale IV
Speaking of the NFL, that concession company CEO arsehole who was abusing the poor pup?
He’s now an ex-CEO.
JJ Watt for the Sacktastic!
Scotland are doing better against Germany (only 1-0 down) than Brazil did in that World Cup semifinal. Are Scotland that good, Brazil that bad, or Germany weakened by all those international retirements?
And there’s the tying TD by the Browns.
Anybody watching the Raiders at the Jets? I’m curious if it’s as miserable as the box score shows.
Bob In Portland
Ravens look ordinary. What’s with Jacksonville? Can the Fins beat the Pats?
@Steeplejack: Wow. We’re like a four hour driver from each other!
Stillers work the fake punt.
Although I was listening to the Falcons, since I was prepping some food, I was not looking at scores. What happened to the Steelers and why are the Pats losing? Unfortunately, the Saints don’t appear willing to just quit and let us win.
@jl: Browns? I thought Ravens. Whoever, the Steelers have my permission to win today. Makes me a little queasy to say that, but might as well get one of their wins over with.
“Oh, that’s terrifying.” Small head nod.
I love that woman in the AT&T commercial with Gordon Ramsey.
Thank you Randy (Bob) Bullock! Nice 42yd FG.
The Falcons went ahead but it appears that with one minute and forty seconds left, the saints have times to score. They are on the six yard line. ugh
Yes! Turnover on downs.
RGCheese will simply not last the season. Either injury or the eventual benching. He will not be the WAS starter by the playoffs.
I’ll say three more games +/-. He is awful.
Pats are losing because the OL stinks and no running game. Ugh.
Scotland have equalised against Germany! (No, not with Denzel’s help.)
http://jezebel.com/it-just-doesnt-get-any-more-chill-than-this-dog-enjoyin-1631517584 I love how the other dog is impatient for his turn. When I bathe my dogs they act like I’m cruelly torturing them. Despite loving to swim, play with the hose, etc.
@Yatsuno: I feel a disturbance in the force.
OT in Atlanta… nice!
@Bostondreams: Miami scored again… I hate the Dolphins.
@JPL: It’s been a wild game.
Germany’s Thomas Müller scores his second goal of the match. Normal service is resumed.
Jaguars come back down to Earth in the second half after getting a 17-0 half-time lead on the Eagles.
JR in WV
I liked the Browns comeback, sorry they didn’t manage to pull it off at the end. Have been a Stillers fan for a long time, can’t stand Ben, though.
Not happy to see the Hotlanta birds tie NOLA at the end, either… grrr.
Glad to see the Jets win, Geno is a nice guy and a skilled person who deserves the win. Hoping the team holds on to have a decent season.
How ’bout those ‘Eers?!
Holy hell. Saints lose the ball on first play in OT. Falcons get the ball on NO 38.
…and Falcons win on a 52-yard FG.
Wow. Some surprising action on the first NFL Sunday so far.
@CaseyL: Yup.. The Falcons win. It sure is nice to have a solid kicker and that was a wild second half.
CHI, NE, NO all go down.
And KC as well.
Is it wrong to say I find Wendy Davis to be an attractive woman?
This New Era of Civility ™ is hard.
JR in WV
In what journalistic world is Aikman qualified to call a Cowboys game?
He only spent his entire career with them, how can he call an honest game?
Now watching Dallas at San Fran. H’mm… the team I’ve always hated versus the Seahawks’ main rival. Gonna be tough to know who to root for.
… well, that didn’t take long. This has been a day for turnovers.
@Corner Stone: RGCheese will simply not last the season. Either injury or the eventual benching. He will not be the WAS starter by the playoffs. I’ll say three more games +/-. He is awful.
Three games before being benched is exactly what I was thinking. That fumble on first and goal was funny.
[‘I don’t think his knee works.’]
@Corner Stone: I don’t know. If I were gay, I might find Perry an attractive man, as long as he kept his mouth shut, washed himself, and was no longer a danger to the public. And kept the glasses on, that would def help.
Am I wrong to thing that? I know for damn sure I am wrong to say it.
J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!
[Also, love the photo.]
@jl: I think Perry would absolutely fit the role of a “Segundo” on a cow ranch. He’s aging really well and has an awesome head of full hair, like Mitt.
But the man just can’t open his mouth without retracting any vestiges of sex appeal. He’s an idiot and I find that less than attractive no matter what gender or sexuality you bring it with.
Wendy Davis, otoh, is an extremely attractive woman and although she’s had her missteps and is more conservative than I care for, she still seems to be very sharp. I don’t get the sense she’s on the grift. I think she really wants to do the public service role.
@J.: In a past life, I would have cared. Well, duh Raidduhs didn’t totally stink up the joint. I think their defense was missing some players, so… Well, we will see next week.
Niners ahead. Why are they letting those bums advance the ball against them?
Don’t want to read too much into the first game, but the Pats/Dolphins really surprised me.
Nearly all of NE’s offseason upgrades were on defense, and they gave up 5 second half scores.
@max: he looked awful. Period. He took two sacks he had no business taking. One of them took his team out of potential field goal range.
The fumble during hand off inside the Texans 10 was awesome. He was flustered and visibly not ready to call/execute that play.
He is not an NFL QB. There is no evidence to the contrary to make the case that he deserves a starting spot, or even a roster spot. He can’t plant his back foot and throw accurately, he is simply not as fast as he thinks he is, and he can NOT make reads on the defensive formation. He can’t check down or spot his target. He’s scared shitless on just about every passing play.
Kurt Warner on the NFL network’s Warner’s Corner absolutely revealed RGCheese’s weaknesses and poor reads. It was brutal.
@Corner Stone: Wendy Davis >>>>>>>>>>>> Rich (Edit: Rick, Ricky, Richard, whatever) Perry in every respect. I am hetero, so there, I admit some prejudice. I hope that was PC enough.
But that sex appeal issue. PC-enough? and liberal gripes are not important today, unless we wish to discuss the working conditions of pro football cheerleaders, and general horror of the US football sporting festival business.
But I will put even those aside for the next hour or two, since the Niners are not destroying the Dallas Dingbats enough, and I am concerned.
@jl: I can’t stand Scampernick but think Romo is even worse.
Booo! Hiss! Boooo!!
It’s over in Germany. Scotland have bravely taken the fight to the world champions and were unlucky to lose 2-1. Meanwhile Christiano Ronaldo’s Portugal have lost 0-1(at home!) to lowly Albania, and Gibraltar’s all-amateur team have lost 0-7 to Poland.
I do miss Randinho.
@Corner Stone: Scampernick ? Mountain of bad karma for you, son.
He was a ‘local’ when growing up in Turlock, so I must root for him to do well.
@Amir Khalid: That’s fusball your talking, right?
14-3. Feeling better now? Props to Kaepernick for some fancy footwork.
@CaseyL: AAAA-yaaa-upp. Ol’ Scampernick coming through. Looks better.
How does Corner Stone like ol’ SCAMPERNICK now, huh? Do not tempt the fates, Do not, do not, I say, mess with the Turlock Kid. He will have his day.
BTW, confess I am a half hearted football fan. Sure I want duh Raiduhs to win and hope the lil’ fellahs don’t get hoit, certainly want Niners to win. But watch the whole game, 100 percent of the time, and those goofy commercials?
I see on the internet news that Blue Whale population off CA coast back to pre-whaling levels. Com on out, folks to sunny CA for your Blue Whale watching.
See that NOT ONE WV town shows up on the list of 10 cities with most dangerous diets. Something seems wrong about that…
Edit: OTOH, maybe roadkill, mostly being game is healthier than, say corn and chicken-shit and carboard fed beef. I should do some homework before I shoot my mouth off about that.
Got a few One Weird Trick to do whatever ads to gawk at while watching for somebody to move on the football field. 2 hours of game with 30 seconds of motion. Weird tempo to that game. Makes my jumpy some how.
@Violet: Perhaps JC will waken Shawn & Lily in time for the Thursday game.
SF is taking Dallas apart. My Dallas-hating heart is happy; my Seahawk heart is not.
@CaseyL: Definitely looking better. I was impatient, I guess. Hope they keep it up.
@CaseyL: Glad I at least have NFL Redzone so I’m not locked into that mess.
Another call for a meetup in Savannah tomorrow.
@raven: If some kind BJ commenter could go me a little one day notice cross-country airfare, I would love to attend. I like Savannah. I’ll check flights to get there in time now.
Pick in the endzone for SF. Romo, you suck.
@jl: I am not a fan of The Scarlet Pampernickel.
I love Romo’s passing style. [/s]
@jl: I know, it’s kind of off the beaten path but tybee and I are gonna say hello so it seemed good to ask.
Live mas, people. Fer FSM’s sake, just live mas.
@Corner Stone: If Romo would start throwing the other way, he might get something going there. I think it’s worth a try.
@The Sailor: He threw that duck up as a floater with every D player crouched about 5 yards away.
@jl: I’m not sure that at this point, a backwards lateral could be any worse than the way he’s decided to go with it.
@stibbert: I’m just wondering. Just a shot in the dark here.
How many other guys are still wearing pajama bottoms while lounging round the abode?
*And by still, I mean +30 years old, etc.
One play I thought SF should have been penalized for a couple series ago, when a defender appeared to spear a Dallas WR in the back, but it didn’t get called.
@raven: Wow! I take that as a yes, raven. You are so kind. I picked the most expensive option to make it a real party. Can be there for $1500.95, plus all the fees. I will bring my own party money for the all night stay over. Won’t need a hotel room. Will go straight to airport next morning.
I took a nap. I almost never take naps. Even if I want to nap, I’ll lie down and never fall asleep. I am a nap failure.
The only time I nap successfully is when I’m sick. I don’t feel great so I really hope I’m not getting sick and the successful nap will take care of whatever the issue is. Maybe it’s the two-a-days I’ve been pulling of a hard workout at the gym and an hour or two in the garden until dark. Whatever it is, my body just said, “Nope. Not working today. Go nap.” So I did.
@Violet: Watch some football, might help if you need another one.
Dallas can rely on Tony Romo to…. throw another interception.
“He’s just not seeing the field real well today,” says the announcer.
The Thin Black Duke
@efgoldman: I think Belichick is a good coach, but he’s a lousy GM, and it’s finally going to bite him on the ass this season.
@jl: The check is in the mail.
@jl: I’m catching up on a few things on the DVR. Very lazy Sunday afternoon.
Dog On Porch
@CaseyL: Seattle is the class of the league, but speaking as a Niner fan I’m pleasantly surprised how easily they slipped into a higher gear after their lackluster pre-season. Or could be Dallas is just that bad.
Where’s Craig Morton when you need him? Tony Romo- what a NFL saga he’s still carving for himself.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
Panthers D holding tough against Tampa Bay.
Villago Delenda Est
@efgoldman: Hoyer needs to be injured so that Johnny Football can be injured. Hoyer’s just in the way of that happening.
Dog On Porch
A State Of The Cowboys report: there is a huge contingent of Niner fans in Jerry Jones Stadium today. That tells me Cowboy fans are fed up, and unloading their tickets as a result.
Dog On Porch
The refs in today’s Niner-Cowboys game must have agreed to be paid after the game. They’re the only reason Dallas still has a prayer.
There a few things lamer than a fan bitching about refs. But there has been more than a few calls today against the Niners that have been inexcusable, including 2 that just led to a Cowboy score. Aikman himself minutes earlier mentioned that “New York” (NFL headquarters) won’t like what they’ll be called on to review.
@efgoldman: RE the Patriots
It’s only game one. But they sure didn’t look like a dominant defense like everyone expected them to be with Revis and the return of Wilfork and Mayo.
Dog On Porch
There was just another absolute horse-shit call, one that killed a Niners drive, and that Aikman himself on air essentially just declared as being “an absolute horse-shit call”. It’s like the replacement refs are back in the saddle.
@Dog On Porch: Every Seattle/SF game from now on is going to be a slugfest; two powerful teams who hate each other.
Dog On Porch
@Geoduck: Both with young QB’s, too. The stars may indeed be aligned.
I’m two-thirds of the way through a three-week bid of house- and dog-sitting for my RWNJ brother while he’s on a motorcycle trip in South America.
And we did get a nice little rain just now. I’m on the southeast side of town (Henderson), but all afternoon I’ve been seeing flash-flood warnings on TV for the west side.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
Kuechly saves the day!
LOL. And true. I just went out on the patio to experience the light rain that came up, and, although I could see droplets hitting the concrete, I could barely feel them.
But it smells good, and it has kept the temp down to 77°. And that’s way down. This time yesterday it was 100°.
Where are you? Aren’t you TDY in California someplace?
Dog On Porch
On top of the abysmal officiating, Dez Bryant turns up “dehydrated” late in the game?
I honestly entertain a gambling angle in this game. And I haven’t done that (seriously) since the days of a QB I both rooted for, and will always unreservedly admire, Kenny Stabler.
Addendum: The Cowboys just scored, so maybe not. I don’t gamble myself, so what the hell do I know?
I experienced virga several times when I lived in LV.
Good news about the heat breaking.
The only game that counts is coming up in a 1/2 hour.
I just talked to my old college friend who has lived here in Vegas for 10 or 15 years. She said the forecast for tomorrow is a high of 83° and a 60% chance of thunderstorms, and when they say “thunderstorm” here they mean some serious shit, not just rain with romantic thunder in the distance.
@Steeplejack: You have a bro-man and also an RWNJ bro?
That is one schism-esque spectrum.
@Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): Love that kid. Big fan.
Yep. The dogs will probably go batshit insane, because a desert thunderstorm in Vegas looks a little something like this. Have fun! ;-)
(Also, I finally got my blog post up, no thanks to freakin’ YouTube.)
Yes, we span the spectrum of dysfunctionality. I think a good portion of RWNJ brother’s RWNJ-ness is due to lifelong struggles with major depression—from whence misanthropic lonerism, etc.—and in my more pessimistic moments I sometimes wonder whether Bro’ Man is not a Mitt Romney-style “establishment” Republican only because he’s gay. As a member of an outsider minority that they didn’t (don’t) want in the club, he was able to see their bullshit for what it is and also to see past his own status to that of other minorities. And that’s to his credit. But he still has some vestigial right-wing reflexes that pop up occasionally. Unions? Unions bad! Tap him on the knee and watch his leg react. Usually I can talk him off the ledge, but sometimes I feel that he shouldn’t be on the ledge in the first place.
Note: vast oversimplications above.
Yes, when we lived in the west Texas desert when I was a kid there weren’t any mountains around, so we got very little rain at all in the summer. Las Vegas is in a big bowl with mountains all around, so there is more, or at least more intense, precipitation here.
Thanks for the update on your blog. I’ll check it out in a bit. Also, TCM is showing some more movies with Warren William and Aline MacMahon this week—Tuesday, I think. I’ll recheck the details.
ETA: Hmm, looks like mostly an Aline MacMahon day, starting at 7:45 a.m. EDT Tuesday with Edward G. Robinson in Silver Dollar (1933). Then her and Warren William in The Mouthpiece (1932) at 9:15. Even some Guy Kibbee action at noon with Big-Hearted Herbert (1934).
Oooh! I’ll have to DVR them. I always forget how much I like Aline MacMahon until I see her again.
Yesterday I had to sheepishly admit to myself that I hadn’t watched Gold Diggers of 1933 in a long time and that I really enjoyed seeing it again. There was so much to like that had gotten fuzzy in memory, like Aline MacMahon as Trixie. Occupational hazard of getting older. “Oh, I’ve seen that movie a hundred times. I’ll skip it.” Well, if you haven’t seen it in five or 10 years, maybe it is worth watching again.
ETA: Looking forward to Warren William in The Mouthpiece. Don’t think I’ve seen it before. “A shaken prosecutor turns underworld lawyer after sending an innocent man to the electric chair.”