In case you haven’t been following Rob Ford’s latest, his biopsy results show a rare, aggressive sarcoma. Never fear, though, because the Ford family subbed Doug for Rob on the mayoral ballot last week after the tumor was discovered. Because of their quick last-minute action, Ford Nation will still be able to vote the deep feelings of their white suburban reactionary hearts.
Doug, who’s more of the backroom dealer than a frontman, is considered a weak replacement for Rob, though I wonder how someone who would mark a ballot for Rob would be overly concerned about fitness for the task at hand when evaluating a candidate for mayor. But apparently Ford Nation thinks that Doug lacks the Johnny Walker wisdom of Rob, because a Tory (Progressive Conservative) aptly named John Tory is now leading Doug and the liberal in the race, Olivia Chow.
My secretly Canadian friend tells me that Toronto is an object lesson to all cities contemplating annexation of the suburbs. If he’s right, the Fords are the sour indigestion that remains long after the sweet tax base of tracts has been ingested. I’ll let our beaver tail eating readers weigh in on that in the comments.
As for Rob, everybody rolls with their fingers crossed. If he weren’t at the core a mean, wife-beating, bullying asshole, I might be moved to say something nice about his buffoonery. Instead, all I can say is good riddance.
Kevin
Your friend is correct. The voice of old Toronto, mostly that downtown core where I live, has been drowned out by the reactionary, angry suburbs. Thankfully our mayor has very little real power, being one vote among many. Ultimately, it’s just embarrassing.
Oh, and never underestimate John Tory’s ability to shoot himself in the foot. He was the leader of the Provincial party, and basically had the election won, due to general fatigue with the liberals, who had been in power 8 years.
Well, he put both feet in his mouth and decided to say we should publically fund all religious schools. He went from the front runner to losing not only the election for the PC party, but he couldn’t even win his own riding. I’ll put the odds at 50/50 that he messes up on another unforced error.
justawriter
I hate cancer, as it has taken away many of the people I loved. But when I heard the news, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the tumor that has to live off of that.
pharniel
When the whole “Rob Ford is trying to get re-elected” thing started a mate of mine and I were discussing who else was running. When we came across John Tory I was like “Please be a Tory! PLEASE!” and lo and behold it was.
He’s just..the perfect Tory. John Tory is like James Ventrue, the Ventrue. We had a good laugh. Poor Torontites.
Chyron HR
Well, I don’t think it’s our business how many nipples he has.
Sherparick
A short, good synopsis of the Rob Ford phenomena here at Jacobin. If a single word that runs through this article and how Ford was successful, that word is “resentment.” Resentment that I am being taxed for social services used by the “others,” resentment that some other worker has better deal then me because she/he is in the public sector. Resentment that I am stuck in traffic in a car while some poof in a multi-million dollar town house in central Toronto is riding a subway. This is why in tough economic times, especially when there is no union movement, working class and middle class people whose incomes and wealth are flat, declining, and insecure focus their resentments on those down the social scale and drift right with their votes. https://www.jacobinmag.com/2013/05/toronto-mayor-rob-ford-a-users-guide/
Similarly, with the eruption of apparent chaos the last year in the Middle East, there is a drift to folks who like McCain who are full of certainty (while wrong) and the Republicans (certain but very wrong). Of course no one has killed or degraded terrorist groups more than the President, but he and his party do have ambivalent feelings about the drones, sensitive to the criticism on the left, and this ambivalence comes across even in their bragging. The Greenwalds and Stollers of the left who like to portray the President as worse than Dubya and Cheney may not have any voting bloc, but they do have a megaphone. Surprisingly, the ones most influenced by their squawking are white middle class women who suspect that a real Dubya or makes them feel safer than and Democratic pseudo-Dubya/Cheney who might actually listen to Greenwald.
Anya
Unfortunatly, Rob Ford’s coalition of supporters includes unlikely alliance between reactionary whites and disaffected voters of all color. Many voters of color who live in government housing believe he’s one of them, so they support him. But as a friend of mine said, “for once we can be thankful for the fact that they don’t usually vote.” So, they’ll come to his rallies and make supportive comments to the media, but they won’t go to the polls. Sadly, the reactionary whites will vote.
I think Tory will end his losing streak and win this time. He’s actually not bad on poverty issues.
Interrobang
Rob Ford has liposarcoma, which is to say fat cancer. I am surely going to hell for saying this, but the jokes pretty much write themselves, n’est-ce pas?
Amir Khalid
I’m amazed that such an out-and-proud buffoon could still have a political career in the more sensible North American country (he said tactfully). Too bad the show is coming to an end.
Speaking of buffoons. Calling Bob In Portland …
NorthLeft12
As a Canadian I retreat to American political blogs to specifically avoid the non-stop coverage of Rob Ford in Canada. Please, lets get back to discussing people like Louie Gohmert, Bobby Jindal, Mark Sanford, John Boehner, Chris Christie, etc., etc.,…..you know, classy leadership material.
I find this guy tremendously embarrassing. Worse than Justin Beiber embarrassing IMO.
Mike in NC
I feel for the Canadians. Seems like the Fords are their answer to the vile Bush family.
CONGRATULATIONS!
It’s a lipoma. My dad had one. My dog had a few. They are easily treated and not dangerous. His doctor is pushing a royal line of shit for PR purposes, but somehow I am not at all shocked that Rob Ford might have a truth-stretching doctor on his payroll.
Botsplainer
Y’know, if he was just a generic conservative asshole, nobody would remember him. Because he’s an epic clown, he’ll be talked about even in North American Sharia schools in New Riyadh (fka Dallas) a century from now…
Violet
@Amir Khalid: No, no! Please don’t do that! The calling part I mean.
shelley
Yeah, sounds like it’s rare but very treatable with a high survival rate. But sorry, still can’t muster up any glee about it. Fuck cancer no matter who gets it.
Well…..Cheney….
constitutional mistermix
@CONGRATULATIONS!: No, it’s a sarcoma. 5 year survival rate is 56 percent but Ford’s case is probably worse since there’s one in his butt and one in his gut.
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/09/17/rob_fords_diagnosis_what_is_a_pleomorphic_liposarcoma.html
Amir Khalid
@Violet:
Relax. There’s no freaking way BiP will respond to a story that makes his side look bad.
On yet another note, how old is a fifth-grader? About eleven, right?
The Thin Black Duke
@NorthLeft12: Thing is, people didn’t elect Justin Bieber to office, y’know?
srv
Speaking of severe judgements, Lindsay Graham was right
How long until the swim to Canada, and then South Carolina?
John S.
My father is a survivor of liposarcoma, and underwent surgery last year to remove a 6 lb. tumor from his abdomen. It’s a pretty rare form of cancer, for which chemo is typically useless. Surgery seems to be the only way to deal with the menace.
NorthLeft12
@The Thin Black Duke: Yeah, that is why I said Ford is more embarrassing than Beiber’s antics.
Ford is older and has a family and has a highly responsible position. And this asshat would have probably been re-elected if he had stayed in the race. That does not say much about the Toronto electorate.
Violet
@Amir Khalid: Yes, that’s about the age. A good rule of thumb is to add the number six to any grade level to get their age. So a fifth grader plus six is elven years old. That’ll be in the ballpark for most kids in school.
Villago Delenda Est
@Amir Khalid: Well, you wisely did not mention him three times, which as we all know, is a sure-fire summons technique.
And you’re quite correct that the linked story is not one that Gospodin Romanov would care to see out there. Who are the actual fascists in this conflict?
shelley
Meanwhile, looks like the latest Benghazi!! hearings won’t amount to a hill of beans, now that Dick Morris has weighed in.
Marc
@Sherparick:
This. They bitch and moan about Obama, but when it comes down to election day, how many columns do they have?
Villago Delenda Est
@shelley: It was doomed from the getgo, because Gowdy and his committee are like Oakland, CA…there’s no “there” there.
MattF
@srv: The ISIS wannabes seem to have found a big red button they can push on. It’s interesting, although the Saudis have been beheading people in public since forever– and no one pays much attention.
Trabb's Boy
Rob Ford is a national embarrassment, but I would not wish this on anyone. The cancer grew so fast in such a short time (he had a cat scan that didn’t show it three years ago), he’s got a second tumour, indicating that it has spread, and his doctors are going with chemo, meaning they don’t think they can get it all with surgery. This is looking like an ugly end to a wild ride for him, and I’m very sorry. He is a buffoon, but he doesn’t really do much harm, because Toronto’s mayor has minimal power.
Toronto suburbs are different from American suburbs. There was never any white flight here, and the temperatures have limited the sense that having a big yard is worth the trouble, so the rich people are actually downtown. The suburbs have the recent immigrants, primarily (50 percent of Torontonians were not born in Canada). Lots of non-unionized small business folks eager to get ahead, for whom the “don’t hold me back, government” rhetoric sounds good. And the left has done a shitty job of reaching out, sticking to its anti-poverty platform exclusively and ignoring the working class.
But hey, we’re still sitting back with our beer and poutine and watching you Yanks for sport.
Chyron HR
@Villago Delenda Est:
Duh, the BBC is full of fascists carrying on Britain’s long fascist tradition.
Alex S.
So I hear the cancer was diagnosed with Rob Ford…
MattF
@Chyron HR: Ah, the ‘Black Shorts.’ FWIW, the classic definition of fascism comes from Robert Paxton:
Hmm. Sounds familiar.
SatanicPanic
I feel bad that it’s happening to an actual person, but at this point Rob Ford is already a borderline mythical character, so a tragic ending seems like the next logical step.
rikyrah
Cliven Bundy Republicans Campaign To Seize and Sell Off Federal Land
By: Rmuse
Tuesday, September, 16th, 2014, 8:50 pm
There is a good reason for harsh penalties for criminal activity besides punishing a criminal, although suffering harsh consequences is apropos for some crimes. Although it is doubtful whether or not penalizing a criminal will ever have any rehabilitating or behavioral transformative affect, at least the violator is removed from society and possibly serves as a deterrent to other criminal activity. Conversely, when the justice system fails and criminals are allowed to violate the law with impunity, and conservatives praise the criminal as a heroic American patriot, it will just be a matter of time until some Republican candidate campaigns on breaking the law.
Last April when serial welfare cheat and seditionist Cliven Bundy marshaled heavily-armed militias and incited a dangerous standoff with federal officers executing a federal court order, he claimed the federal government had no right to the federal land it had purchased or authority over that land. At the time there were several Republicans who agreed with Bundy, but then again they are the same malcontents that claim the federal government’s existence is invalid; but that is another story.
Now, there is a serious movement among Republicans who embrace Bundy’s claim the federal government is forbidden from owning land and the Republican gubernatorial candidate in Colorado is actively campaigning on a promise of seizing all federal land. His plan, like those in several other Republican states, is confiscating national parks, national forests, and all public land from the federal government and selling them off to the Koch brothers for mining, drilling, and logging. As private land owned by the Kochs, federal regulations and environmental protections become null and void and America’s National Parks, wilderness areas, and waterways become dirty energy wastelands.
http://www.politicususa.com/2014/09/16/bundy-republicans-campaign-seize-federal-land-sell-kochs.html
different-church-lady
@shelley: Gingrich predicted a “GOP Sweep” yesterday, so I’m feeling pretty good right now.
different-church-lady
@Trabb’s Boy:
You have poutine in Toronto? I thought it was the national food of Quebec.
Iowa Old Lady
I was horrified by a radio report on Wisconsin ID laws this morning. If the appeals court allows the law to remain in effect, the absentee ballots already send out will not be counted because the voters did not include a copy of their ID in their request for the ballot.
StringOnAStick
@rikyrah: And I just saw that the most recent poll has Beauprez up 10% over Hickenlooper, which I hope is the result of people like me refusing the answer a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, but I fear it means the race is far closer than it should be. Same thing for the most recent poll between Sen. Udall and nutjob Gardner.
Amir Khalid
Hmm. Slate reports that a nonny mouse has offered the largest bounty in history — US$30 million — for information on who masterminded the MH17 shootdown. (The US government only offered $25 million for Osama bin Laden.) The offer is being made through a well-established German fraud-investigation firm, Wirtschaftsfahndung Wifka, and also includes a new identity for the person who claims the bounty.
Steve Finlay
Thanks for the excellent Leonard Cohen reference in the title!
A lot of Canadians who despise Ford, being Canadians, are nevertheless hoping for his recovery. “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy” is actually part of the Canadian personality, not just an expression. Plenty of people in the cannabis movement (who certainly don’t like any right wingers) want him to go on Rick Simpson oil or the equivalent, because it’s probably better than chemo.
constitutional mistermix
@Steve Finlay:
Did you pick up the other two in the body of the story?
voncey
@Mike in NC: the Fords are really the Palins of Canada. At least the Bushes have some sense of public service.
polyorchnid octopunch
@voncey: Re: the Bushes, their sense is mostly centred around getting serviced by the public.
As for Ford, I feel sorry for him, but I’m glad he’s out. Best headline so far, from Vice: “Rob Ford drops out of race so Doug Ford can discover he can’t win an election”.
And culturally, Toronto really is different from the rest of the joint. We get a lot of ’em at the local uni (Queen’s University) and you can tell them by their accents on the bus. They sound like nobody else in Ontario.
someofparts
So the city of Toronto is, to it’s suburbs, as Scotland is to the UK. Take away Toronto proper or Scotland and what you have left is so right wing it can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.