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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Giving up is unforgivable.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

All hail the time of the bunny!

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / David Brooks Giving A Seminar At The Aspen Institute / Saturday Morning Open Thread: “Intensity Retreats”

Saturday Morning Open Thread: “Intensity Retreats”

by Anne Laurie|  September 20, 20144:50 am| 75 Comments

This post is in: David Brooks Giving A Seminar At The Aspen Institute, Open Threads, Assholes

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Normally I don’t bother with David Brooks, because life is too short to waste on poisoned pablum. But Jessica Roy at NYMag had a brief post:

…David Brooks made a stunning discovery in this week’s op-ed: Friends. People should have them. Wow, big if true.

After making the sociopath’s case for having friends, such as the way one stands to benefit politically and socially from friendships, Brooks says that if he had $500 million he would create a happy fun time summer camp for adults to make friends.

I have a better idea, David Brooks: Give me $500 million and I will happily be your friend (though I’ll probably still talk about you behind your back).

The amazing thing — and this, no doubt, is why the NYTimes gives him the big bucks & the premium op-ed space — is that Brooks’ piece is even worse than Roy described, starting with its oxymoronic title:

Somebody recently asked me what I would do if I had $500 million to give away. My first thought was that I’d become a moderate version of the Koch brothers. I’d pay for independent candidates to run against Democratic or Republican members of Congress who veered too far into their party’s fever swamps.

But then I realized that if I really had that money, I’d want to affect a smaller number of people in a more personal and profound way. The big, established charities are already fighting disease and poverty as best they can, so in search of new directions I thought, oddly, of friendship…

Shorter BoBo: “Current politics have convinced me that $500 million is not nearly enough money to force people to vote for the Thought Leaders I would prefer to see in charge. It might, however, be enough for me to finally buy some syncophants.”

… In the first place, friendship helps people make better judgments. So much of deep friendship is thinking through problems together: what job to take; whom to marry. Friendship allows you to see your own life but with a second sympathetic self….

How many times has this man been divorced?

Second, friends usually bring out better versions of each other. People feel unguarded and fluid with their close friends. If you’re hanging around with a friend, smarter and funnier thoughts tend to come burbling out…

Somebody needs to break it to him: Gail Collins only laughs at his “jokes” because she feels sorry for him. (Actually, I suspect those squirm-inducing ‘conversations’ are written into her contract, but it’s clear even from the published results that she feels sorry for him. Gail Collins is a nicer person than I am.)

Finally, people behave better if they know their friends are observing. Friendship is based, in part, on common tastes and interests, but it is also based on mutual admiration and reciprocity. People tend to want to live up to their friends’ high regard. People don’t have close friendships in any hope of selfish gain, but simply for the pleasure itself of feeling known and respected…

Or so Brooks has been given to understand, from his copious research on the subject. Even if he had to spend $500 million to come within range of “the pleasure… of feeling known and respected”, at least he could expect that financial incentive to ensure any ‘friend’ mocking him behind his back to be exposed by their fellow paid pals!

I envision a string of adult camps or retreat centers (my oldest friendships were formed at summer camp, so I think in those terms). Groups of 20 or 30 would be brought together from all social and demographic groups, and secluded for two weeks. They’d prepare and clean up all their meals together, and eating the meals would go on for a while. In the morning, they would read about and discuss big topics. In the afternoons, they’d play sports, take hikes and build something complicated together. At night, there’d be a bar and music…

BoBo: “It would be like the Aspen Institute, only without eavesdropping catering services or cellphones! Or that Burning Man festival Grover Norquist keeps babbling on about, only without the distasteful nudity, dirt, and illegal substances!”

However restricted my daily existence sometimes seems, there is always this consolation: Barring a serious frontal lobe disorder, at least it will never be as limited as the inside of David Brooks’ skull.
***********

Apart from mocking the deserving, what’s on the agenda for the weekend?

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Reader Interactions

75Comments

  1. 1.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 20, 2014 at 5:13 am

    I would say, “Thank you Anne, for reading David Brooks so I don’t have to.” except you then went and posted about reading David Brooks, which because you wrote it, I thought there might be something of worth I could get out of reading about reading David Brooks. Sadly, no, I could feel the IQ points being sucked out of my brain then too. So now I am that much closer to the assured dementia that will haunt my final days, and you Anne, are responsible for that.

    I hope you are proud of yourself.

  2. 2.

    Keith G

    September 20, 2014 at 5:25 am

    I listen to an overview of the NYT via audible. So yesterday morning as I was warming up the ovens at work, I heard this “masterpiece”.

    The first thing that popped into my head was Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Friendship is in the middle of the pyramidal configuration. And right there is one of the flies in Brooks’ soup of friendship. His brand of utopia (this week) is only a possibility among those folks who, like him, already have level personal stability and security established in their lives.

    The second thing that popped into my head was the thought of sitting around a campfire with Brooks making s’mores as he offered to be my friend, mentor, and personal philosopher.

    I felt dizzy.

    My agenda? The ovens (and the Hobart mixers) are calling yet again.

  3. 3.

    Amir Khalid

    September 20, 2014 at 5:39 am

    Gail Collins’ side of those conversations shows how suffering a fool can be done, not just gladly but also with some style. Before they went behind The New York Times paywall, I’d take a look at them once in a while.

  4. 4.

    raven

    September 20, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Noon kickoff in the land of disappointed Dawgs.

  5. 5.

    Hal

    September 20, 2014 at 6:27 am

    I’d pay for independent candidates to run against Democratic or Republican members of Congress who veered too far into their party’s fever swamps.

    And if Brooks was completely honest, almost every last dime would go to candidates running against Republicans.

  6. 6.

    tesslibrarian

    September 20, 2014 at 6:27 am

    Ah, paid friendship! I can just imagine how that works when one has friends going through a rough time.

    “Sorry, I paid you to listen to me, not whine about your dog dying/divorce/job loss/depression. Did you see Oprah produced another move? We should totally go! But only if you stop crying. I don’t pay you to cry and make me feel icky.”

  7. 7.

    tesslibrarian

    September 20, 2014 at 6:31 am

    @raven: Disappointed Dawgs need to suck it up. Yeah, the end of the game sucked. But I also don’t believe SC wouldn’t have scored again if we had scored from the 4 (there were about 5 minutes left).

    The last 3 years, the winner of the SEC East lost to SC (UGA, UGA, and Mizzou). I think we take what was obviously a quite meaningful win for Spurrier and make it, yet again, a December where he has to watch a team he beat get all the attention. This season is far from over.

  8. 8.

    Hal

    September 20, 2014 at 6:36 am

    Stand your ground…or maybe not.

    http://www.policestateusa.com/2014/killeen-texas-fatal-raid/

    At approximately 5:30 a.m. on May 9th, the Killeen Police Department sent its SWAT team to execute a surprise raid on a middle-aged couple because they allegedly possessed substances without government permission.

    Eighteen-year veteran Detective Charles “Chuck” Dinwiddie and several other SWAT agents snuck up to a window and tried to breach it to gain entry. The commotion caused one of residents to open fire upon the unidentified intruders, and Dinwiddie was struck in the face. Three others were shot; 2 were shot in the armor and 1 was shot in the thigh.

    So now the man who shot at these officers is charged with capital murder and the DA is pursuing the death penalty. No indication he knew these were cops and once they executed their search warrant, no drugs were found. But hey, let’s execute the guy because he shot a cop who was climbing in his window at 5:30 in the morning. I guess he should have known only law abiding people do things like that.

  9. 9.

    Baud

    September 20, 2014 at 6:37 am

    If I had $500 million, I would invest in friends… with benefits.

  10. 10.

    Baud

    September 20, 2014 at 6:45 am

    Wishing Booman well

    Booman is unable to blog for the time being. I don’t have many details, but please keep him in your thoughts and send him your well wishes. Hopefully, he will be back posting here soon.

  11. 11.

    raven

    September 20, 2014 at 6:45 am

    @tesslibrarian: I didn’t say I was. I’m going to Big City, the Farmer’s Market, Normal Hardware and then to the game. Didn’t you say you were not going???? Too sunny? :)

  12. 12.

    Mike J

    September 20, 2014 at 6:46 am

    Finally, people behave better if they know their friends are observing

    He may not have noticed, but people also act a lot, lot, lot worse when their friends are watching, if that’s what their friends expect.

  13. 13.

    raven

    September 20, 2014 at 6:46 am

    Before I got counseling help that’s how I saw it, “paying for someone to talk to”.

  14. 14.

    tesslibrarian

    September 20, 2014 at 6:51 am

    @raven: I mean the Disappointed Dawgs need to stop their whining. Even sites like GTP have been almost impossible to read for all the rending of shirts and beating of chests.

    We are tailgating. Some of the loudest complainers at our tailgate aren’t coming to this game (hooray for grandkids with Saturday morning extra-curriculars), which means, perhaps, it will be a pleasant morning. So I’ll be plating deviled eggs around 8:45, driving over to our tailgate site, helping get that set up. My husband has friends coming from Atlanta with their kids. We are selling our tickets because I’m saving my sunburn for Tennessee next weekend. If UT was (properly) scheduled for 5:30 or 7pm, we’d probably go.

  15. 15.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 20, 2014 at 6:51 am

    @Hal: The Guardian:

    “At some point, you have to trust and believe that the agencies that you utilize for law enforcement are doing what’s right and what’s best for the community, and they’re not targeting your community,” Los Angeles County sheriff’s Sgt John Gaw said.”

    Ummm… Sgt Gaw? No-I-don’t.

  16. 16.

    raven

    September 20, 2014 at 6:54 am

    @tesslibrarian: Sounds like a good day! I tried to find the GTP tent at the Clemson game but couldn’t. I usually leave my truck at Big City or Pulaski BBQ and walk over. Have a fun time with your group!

    I was surprised at the tone at GTP all week as well.

  17. 17.

    Jack Canuck

    September 20, 2014 at 7:05 am

    Just bought a new house. Well, a hundred year old house that needs quite a bit of TLC and elbow grease, but new to us. It’s letting us move back into Melbourne from the nice little country town about an hour outside the city that we moved to almost three years ago. Nice place, but we both have jobs back in the city now, and the commute is killing us. Even though the new place was crazy expensive for what it is (thanks, Melbourne/Australian house prices!), it’ll save us at least four hours a day of commuting between the two of us, and our son will get picked up from childcare before 6pm much more often.

    So we’re enjoying some Drambuie that my visiting parents bought us to celebrate, and also occasionally hyperventilating when we realize what we’ve done and how much money we owe the bank. But definitely on the happy side of the ledger, even with that.

  18. 18.

    evodevo

    September 20, 2014 at 7:09 am

    All I can say is “Eeewwwww!”. Too much information!!

  19. 19.

    tesslibrarian

    September 20, 2014 at 7:11 am

    @raven: We’re lucky to be able to walk from our house–so we actually drive to tailgate with my godparents (and others, with whom I’ve tailgated since birth), then drive home and walk from here. It’s really nice, a definite perk that makes going to games more enjoyable.

    We didn’t tailgate at all before Clemson because we’d been out of town until very late the night before, and just wanted a mellow day, so this is the first I’ll be seeing the out-of-town people tomorrow. I plan to overwhelm them with pictures of my niece; we grew up with most of these people, so sharing pictures is part of most tailgates. I also plan to make a hard sell for the Dearing St. tour I’m assisting with in November; I’d like a good turnout.

  20. 20.

    Chris

    September 20, 2014 at 7:16 am

    @Mike J:

    That’s the first thing I noticed while reading it. Reminds me of the idealization of the Small Town Community Where Everyone Knows Everyone among those preaching for localized government.

    Also Bobo ,if you’re concerned that adults aren’t making enough friends, have you considered that maybe they should just get more time off and paid vacations? Give the children recess and a lunch break in between their classes, as it were? That might just go a lot farther than your How To Friend People In Real Life programmed, scripted retreat.

  21. 21.

    NotMax

    September 20, 2014 at 7:16 am

    Survived Day One of taking mom car shopping with patience frayed but intact.

    Bending the ‘stay the hell out of Manhattan’ preference tonight for the opportunity to see James Earl Jones onstage in revival of You Can’t Take It With You.

    Schedulke while here so chock-a-block that finbding time for a meet-up appears difficult, although now will have Sunday evening free if anyone in the area or near north shore Long Island (Great Neck area) should be interested.

  22. 22.

    tesslibrarian

    September 20, 2014 at 7:21 am

    @Jack Canuck: The debt is worth the improved quality of life. We used to be long daily commuters, and it really does suck the life out of you. Enjoy the house and its quirks–you may find some interesting things as you go about maintenance and stabilization, which is always fun.

    In my sister’s 100-year-old house, she found a calling card for a woman and a coupon book for another woman behind their fireplace mantle. I was able to find that the book belonged to the lady of the house and calling card to a woman who lived several blocks away, but they had daughters the same age. Also that the owners had rented out rooms during the Depression and a lot of people were fitting in that house in the 1930s before any additions or upgrades–made my sister feel the onslaught of family coming for Thanksgiving would be manageable.

    Congratulations!

  23. 23.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 20, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Everybody has heard of “a murder of crows”, but how many know it’s origins?

    While most terms for groups of birds are linked to their song or habitat, this one has its roots in medieval folklore. With their dark feathers and jet-black eyes, crows were regarded by 15th-century peasants as messengers of the devil or witches in disguise. They were suspected of having prophetic powers, and the appearance of a crow on the roof of a house was taken as an omen that someone inside would soon die. There are also accounts of the birds living up to their murderous name by enacting something known as a crow parliament (kråkriksdag in Swedish), during which up to 500 birds are said to gather together before suddenly setting on one of their number and tearing it to pieces.

    But what about “a damning of jurors”? Or “a bloat of hippopotamuses”? Or “a superfluity of nuns”? More at the link, with their etymologies.

  24. 24.

    Iowa Old Lady

    September 20, 2014 at 7:27 am

    @Jack Canuck: Mortgage debt is always insane if you think about too hard. So drink up! This sounds like a good decision.

  25. 25.

    different-church-lady

    September 20, 2014 at 7:33 am

    Louis CK has better ideas.

  26. 26.

    p.a.

    September 20, 2014 at 7:55 am

    Balloon Juice Friends’ Camp! Good way for Cole to get us there to do the yard work and house cleaning for him.
    But seriously, you folks are so mean. This is obviously BoBo’s desperate cry for help. He’s lonely. Like most men, he can’t admit he has issues, so he has to create a general issue to talk around the problem. Also too, unless you diversify (dare I say liberalize) your circle of friends, all you get is reinforcement of current behaviors, good or bad. Also also too too, hasn’t this schmuck ever heard of Elks, Shriners, Rotary, poker leagues, etc.?

  27. 27.

    Phylllis

    September 20, 2014 at 8:14 am

    Off to Charleston to see the alma mater take on The Citadel this evening. Forecast looks a little iffy though, so we may end up somewhere having a couple of brews and watching the Gamecocks v. Vandy.

  28. 28.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    September 20, 2014 at 8:17 am

    ObOpenThread: Another chapter in “meet the new boss, same as the old boss” in Ukrainian politics – Kyiv Post:

    Many Ukrainians who fought the EuroMaidan Revolution that ousted President Viktor Yanukovych in February are also hoping to get rid of members of parliament from Yanukovych’s Party of Region in the Oct. 26 elections.

    But some are running — not on the disgraced party label – but in other parties, including the bloc of President Petro Poroshenko, or in single-mandate districts.

    […]

    Candidate registration ends on Sept. 30, but activists and local media are discovering plenty of people with murky pasts who are trying their luck. Some of them are suspected of having the tacit support of Poroshenko’s bloc.

    Lawmaker Davyd Zhvania is running in an Odesa Oblast constituency, said Poroshenko’s Solidarnist Party leader Yuri Lutsenko, a former interior minister. Zhvania left the Party of Regions faction in November after riot police brutally dispersed a small encampment of most university students on Independence Square.

    Lutsenko couldn’t be reached for comment to address the choice of candidates.

    Lutsenko said Poroshenko’s bloc is also nominating Vitaly Nemilostivy, who in April 2013 exited Yulia Tymoshenko’s Batkivshchyna faction in parliament.

    Arseniy Yatseniuk, then Batkivshchyna’s leader, accused Nemilostivy and others of accepting bribes from Yanukovych’s team for defecting. They denied the charge.

    Zhvania and Nemilostivy were not available for comment.

    In a Mykolayiv Oblast constituency, businessman Borys Kozyr has thrown in his hat, according to local activists and media reports. He served as the deputy head of the port department at the infrastructure ministry in the times of Yanukovych. EuroMaidan activist Dmytro Kovalchuk said that letters to Poroshenko exposing Kozyr’s connections have failed to have any effect. Kozyr did not respond to requests for comment for this story.

    Political analyst Volodymyr Fesenko said most of the chameleon candidates who were part of Yanukovych’s regime are businessmen from the war-torn parts of the country. “The authorities are … looking for partners in the east,” he said.

    He said that a part of the Party of Regions’ electroate will now support Poroshenko’s bloc, which seems “more moderate” than other post-Maidan forces.

    […]

    Lots more at the link.

    It’s not surprising, of course, that politicians who were in the legislature previously, under several presidents, are running again. That’s what politicians do, after all. Similarly with the businessmen that are running. The shifting alliances and candidate groupings seems to illustrate that, like everywhere, Ukrainian politics is complicated – even more-so in times of war.

    Here’s hoping that the new parliament is representative of the people and that it can work to move the country forward.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  29. 29.

    FridayNext

    September 20, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Is that title really “oxymoronic”? When I clicked through it said “Startling Adult Friendships” which strikes me as a funny typo, but not oxymoronic. Unless the article really about “startling” adults friendships and not “starting them.” Did they change the title?

  30. 30.

    Mack

    September 20, 2014 at 8:24 am

    70 hr work weeks for me resulted in a fattened bank account but a horribly overgrown property. I mean the word jungle would not conjure up an appropriate image for you. Brutal. I’ll be attacking portions of that, then heading out to watch my mighty Dores beat up on So. Carolina. (YMMV)

    My decision to not renew my contract with this employer has resulted in the loss of a friend (the decision came after I could no longer ignore his faults as employer) , and while I am glad it happened, there is still some sadness and I intend to keep busy to keep any resulting depression at bay.

  31. 31.

    Glidwrith

    September 20, 2014 at 8:42 am

    Kitteh decided to pull a Davy Crockett in the wee hours of the morn (3 am). Purring right in my ear while curled on top of my head on the pillow, with occasional licks to the face. Adorable at any other time, but 3 am!?

  32. 32.

    Karen in GA

    September 20, 2014 at 8:44 am

    Getting ready to head to the Swan pub, then to see Kate Bush. Leaving London tomorrow, which I’m sad about. I grew up in New York — London feels like home with different buildings and better enunciation.

  33. 33.

    Josie

    September 20, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Two things:
    1. The fact that David Brooks thinks a bunch of adults need to go to camp in order to make good friends tells us a lot more about David Brooks than he probably wants us to know.
    2. The fact that someone is paying him to write this drivel is tempting me to apply for a job on that paper and/or send in some writing samples.

  34. 34.

    SteveM

    September 20, 2014 at 9:04 am

    David Brooks is now a guy whose columns would be read avidly by Stuart Smalley.

  35. 35.

    RSR

    September 20, 2014 at 9:14 am

    wait, did y’all see the comment on that article Atrios highlighted yesterday? (That madman reads the comments at newspaper websites, and likes it!

    The Happiest Man In America

    BoBo’s column is pretty trippy, but I did enjoy this comment that someone made.

    One reason middle-aged people, especially men, have a tough time making friends because, like an old truck driver acquaintance once told me, “I can’t afford any friends”. Friends are expensive, because there is no such thing as an unselfish friend–they are all seeking something out of the relationship, else they wouldn’t enter it. Brooks is a naive fool if he thinks otherwise.

    And for married men, the difficulty in making friends is compounded by their wives, who jealously seek to eliminate any source of happiness that might be afforded their husbands outside of the marriage. A wife is never happy if she thinks her husband might be happy without her. As male friends provide happiness outside of the marriage for husbands, wives rarely willingly accommodate them.

    The same thing is not true in reverse–wives cultivate scores of friends and husbands happily go along, else they be considered an impediment to the wives’ happiness, which would violate the whole premise behind the marital compact–that women agree to marriage on the condition that their husbands will put their happiness above their own.

    Husbands and wives can be friends, and should be, but carefully so, as the marital relationship is a dialectic. Each party is constantly striving to have their own will expressed. Being too friendly with an antagonist like a spouse can lead to being taken advantage of.

  36. 36.

    jayboat

    September 20, 2014 at 9:16 am

    @Josie:
    Yep. Your #1 is the logical progression to the ‘imaginary friends’ of a poorly developed adult mind.

  37. 37.

    WereBear

    September 20, 2014 at 9:20 am

    Bobo is really losing it, isn’t he? I mean, imagine his salary, the supposed prestige of the NYT, the circles he seems to hobnob in.

    Pathetic doesn’t begin to describe it. It would take a Chaplin impersonator fished from a septic tank, backed by a Greek chorus of weeping clowns, all balancing on a giant Pilates ball, to approach that one column.

  38. 38.

    waspuppet

    September 20, 2014 at 9:20 am

    If you’re imagining what you’d do with $500 million and it never enters your mind to keep a small percentage of it for yourself, you should be paying a LOT more in taxes.

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    September 20, 2014 at 9:23 am

    @Keith G:

    The ovens (and the Hobart mixers) are calling yet again.

    Planning the final solution to the David Brooks problem, are we, Adolf?

  40. 40.

    Roger Moore

    September 20, 2014 at 9:25 am

    @Hal:

    Stand your ground…or maybe not.

    *Offer only applies to white people.

  41. 41.

    Howlin Wolfe

    September 20, 2014 at 9:27 am

    @Chris: It’s Bobo’s howler – he makes a statement of empirical fact, treats it as if it incontrovertible, and expects it to be accepted as true without any evidence.

  42. 42.

    jayboat

    September 20, 2014 at 9:33 am

    @WereBear:

    It would take a Chaplin impersonator fished from a septic tank, backed by a Greek chorus of weeping clowns, all balancing on a giant Pilates ball, to approach that one column.

    I was trying to construct a mental image as I read that and I think I hurt myself. 8-]]

  43. 43.

    Just One More Canuck

    September 20, 2014 at 9:34 am

    @Keith G: You felt dizzy? I would have felt stabby

  44. 44.

    Nicole

    September 20, 2014 at 9:35 am

    Here I am, being that person, but it’s “sycophant,” not “syncophant.”

    For what it’s worth, I know this because I record text to audio and have been corrected, more than once, on that word. It’s a very easy mistake.

    We won’t discuss my pronunciation issues with “negligent.” Or “exercise.”

  45. 45.

    Joel Hanes

    September 20, 2014 at 9:35 am

    Agenda : go to work both days, while the office is empty and quiet. Try to get something accomplished. (The kinds of work that require sustained concentration have become impossible during the workweek).

  46. 46.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 20, 2014 at 9:37 am

    @Hal: Oh and Hal? A “no-knock raid” is one where they do not identify as police until they have gained entry, Seeing as they did not gain entry, I don’t see how this man could have known they were cops before shooting.

  47. 47.

    Frankensteinbeck

    September 20, 2014 at 9:42 am

    @Keith G:
    Brooks is talking about making sure the people who matter make friends, people who affect the community or the nation. He has a truly warped concept of ‘all social or demographic groups’ as if rich or poor, everyone was a character in Leave It To Beaver. It’s implicit in much of his writing. In a way, this leads to…

    @Hal:
    I’m not sure this is true. He wants politicians on both sides of the aisle to come together and *politely* fuck over the poor (who don’t need help, just responsibility) and force 50s values on everyone. ‘Fever swamps’ is anyone who exposes his views as bigotry rather than mature, intelligent responsibility.

  48. 48.

    danielx

    September 20, 2014 at 9:44 am

    @p.a.:

    Balloon Juice Friends’ Camp! Good way for Cole to get us there to do the yard work and house cleaning for him.

    Well, it might cut back on Cole’s likelihood of for injuring himself with common household and yard tools. (Pigs might have wings, too.)

    As to Brooks’ issues…try as I might, I have difficulty feeling any sympathy for a man being paid in the mid-six figures (at a guess) for his job writing complete horseshit on the highest profile editorial real estate in the land and who can say this….

    “I’ve never attended a meeting at the Times. We can write about anything. I’ve been at the Times for over a decade; I’ve never had a performance review. We can go anywhere we want. And we are just left alone.”

    Nice work if you can get it.

    But on the topic of friendship, only a Villager could come up with the fantasy idea of spending a half billion on friendship summer camp. Brooks may have formed his friendships at summer camp but I attended summer camp one summer at my parents’ behest, probably so they could get me out from underfoot for two weeks. With a couple of exceptions, I couldn’t stand most of the kids there. If Brooks formed his oldest friendships at summer camp, he had a very strange childhood. Which may explain a lot, come to think of it.

  49. 49.

    Felonius Monk

    September 20, 2014 at 9:47 am

    If a Prostitute is a person you pay for sex, is a Friendstitute a person you pay for friendship?

    BoBo (aka Skull In Vacuo) did not expand his analysis to its more interesting consequences.

  50. 50.

    danielx

    September 20, 2014 at 9:49 am

    @waspuppet:

    Possibly Brooks has never heard that old saw about how if you have to choose between money and friends, always pick money – you can use it to buy new friends.

  51. 51.

    RSA

    September 20, 2014 at 9:58 am

    Groups of 20 or 30 would be brought together from all social and demographic groups, and secluded for two weeks.

    I haven’t read Bobo’s piece, but in my circle of friends, I can’t think of anyone who could take off two weeks from job, family, and obligations to spend at summer camp. It occurs to me that the most likely candidates are the very rich and the very poor.

  52. 52.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    September 20, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Back on topic: There’s an old Felix Salmon blog about how most philanthropists are doin’ it wrong.

    You confuse philanthropy with social climbing.

    Philanthropy is one way of feeling better about yourself; buying the admiration of your friends and peers by ostentatiously giving money to their favorite causes is another. Do not confuse the two.

    You think that going to to charity balls constitutes charitable activity.

    Some people actually enjoy these things. If you’re the kind of person who likes to dress up in black tie spending an evening in an orgy of rubber chicken and self-congratulation, then by all means go to as many of these things as you like. But if you’re not that kind of person, and you feel that you can’t politely decline, then just take the money you would otherwise spend on a table, and donate it to the organization directly. That way the charity gets all of the donation, and you get four hours of your life back.

    Amazingly, charity balls aren’t even the most inefficient way of giving to charity. Paul Sullivan recently glowingly profiled Cindy Citrone, who went to Sotheby’s and spent $425,000 on “a small, pink-diamond ring and diamond bracelet that had the word love written on it in rubies.” That was probably near the market price for those jewels, and in any case, given that this was an auction, there was certainly an underbidder willing to pay almost as much. So even though the auction proceeds were going to charity, the marginal benefit of Citrone’s $425,000 was pretty tiny. And yet, somehow, Sullivan managed to write a column implying that this was a good way of giving money to charity. Donating the jewels was a genuine charitable act; buying them, not so much.

    Bobo might want to review that post…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  53. 53.

    Citizen_X

    September 20, 2014 at 10:04 am

    I’d want to affect a smaller number of people in a more personal and profound way.

    God help us.

    @Keith G:

    I was warming up the ovens at work

    Great. Bobo’s setting up the Happy Friends Adult Reeducation Camp, and you’re working the ovens.

  54. 54.

    danielx

    September 20, 2014 at 10:10 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Amazingly enough, a Texas jury(!)recently found a man not guilty of aggravated assault and deadly conduct charges for shooting at cops during a very similar no-knock raid in 2010. It does seem that at long last people are finally beginning to question the utility (and morality) of raids like this, along with civil forfeiture laws and a great many other issues spawned by the War On Americans…er, the War On Drugs. I don’t hold with Radley Balko’s libertarian views, but I can’t think of anyone who has done more useful work writing about these issues other than possibly the ACLU.

    Edit: Even if found not guilty, if I was Adrian Perryman I’d be seriously considering relocating someplace far from the jurisdiction of Texas cops…like, say, Maine or Alaska.

  55. 55.

    Keith G

    September 20, 2014 at 10:29 am

    @Citizen_X: The jokes write themselves. Fortunately, I have the good sense not to type them.

  56. 56.

    Mike in NC

    September 20, 2014 at 10:38 am

    @danielx: Brooks wouldn’t have a friend even if he bought himself a dog. It would run away at the first opportunity.

  57. 57.

    stinger

    September 20, 2014 at 10:43 am

    @Chris: Chris, my thought when reading it was that his “camps” would have to draw exclusively from the ranks of the unemployed. Isolated for two weeks? — no one with young kids. A sports-and-hiking requirement? — probably lets out physically disabled people. His notion of “all social and demographic groups” isn’t the same as mine.

  58. 58.

    TG Chicago

    September 20, 2014 at 10:48 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Devil’s Advocate: in theory, he might have seen a police uniform through the window. But overall, I think no-knock raids should either never be used or only in the most extreme circumstances, which this does not seem to have been. Ask any of the cops who raided the place what they’d have done in the man’s situation. I’m sure they’d say they’d identify themselves and such, but in reality they’d probably shoot first given that they know that, as cops, they’d likely never suffer any consequences.

    @RSA:

    I haven’t read Bobo’s piece, but in my circle of friends, I can’t think of anyone who could take off two weeks from job, family, and obligations to spend at summer camp. It occurs to me that the most likely candidates are the very rich and the very poor.

    That’s in your circle of friends though. And none of you would go to this thing anyway, since you already have… a circle of friends. I suppose Bobo does not.

  59. 59.

    stinger

    September 20, 2014 at 10:49 am

    @p.a.: Bowling!

  60. 60.

    M31

    September 20, 2014 at 11:14 am

    David Brooks makes me sick. “I’d pay for independent candidates to run against Democratic or Republican members of Congress who veered too far into their party’s fever swamps.”

    Name one Democrat who counts as a ‘fever swamp’ leftist/extremist as far fringe as an AVERAGE Republican.

    What would the policy positions of someone as far left as the far rightists who are elected in droves?

    How’s about:

    20-hour work week, with livable salaries.
    Eisenhower-era tax rates with no loopholes.
    Anti-trust law, for real.
    Death penalty for corporations.
    Minimum guaranteed income for every citizen.
    Hard jail time for bank crimes.
    Defense Dept. budget transferred to renewable energy and building high-speed trains everywhere

    And just to fuck with the libertarians, a property rule whereby if you don’t live in a house, you don’t get to keep it. After all, that’s government intervention and a limit on the freedom of others to live in that 2nd/3rd/4th home.

    Actually, those are all pretty moderate positions. Let’s try some actual fringe positions:

    Tumbrils for banksters, on pay-per-view.
    100% inheritance tax on estates over 1$ million.
    Free college tuition for everyone.
    David Brooks’ “friends” tell him what they really think.

  61. 61.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    September 20, 2014 at 11:18 am

    I had to look under the fold the other day to see which bobblehead was blathering about Obama’s dithering in the Middle East.

    I was not surprised, but I mocked anyway.

  62. 62.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    September 20, 2014 at 11:20 am

    @M31:

    Some airhead on POTUS or NPR, while opining that Warren was not a serious candidate called Elizabeth Warren “the Ted Cruz of the left”

    I calmly asked my wife to turn the channel.

  63. 63.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    September 20, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Barring a serious frontal lobe disorder, at least it will never be as limited as the inside of David Brooks’ skull.

    And you’ll never have Apple create an all new application just to destroy your work product at the request of millions.

  64. 64.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    September 20, 2014 at 11:55 am

    I’d pay for independent candidates to run against Democratic or Republican members of Congress who veered too far into their party’s fever swamps.

    Because, heaven forbid, their constituents do the right thing without some middle age white fuctkard male telling what to do and middle aged fucktards males are the ultimate arbitrator of what is the extrime in politics. One wonders if it registers in some small part of Brook’s mind that the real story of the election of Obama to the presidency and the teartards take over the GOP is the rejection of the traditional elite by the rest of society?

  65. 65.

    trollhattan

    September 20, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    @Karen in GA:

    You actually got Kate Bush tickets–well done. Do enjoy, it’s reported to be an incredible show.

  66. 66.

    Dog On Porch

    September 20, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh,
    Here I am at Camp Grenada
    Camp is very entertaining
    and they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining.
    I went hiking with Joe Spivy
    He developed poison ivy
    You remember Leonard Skinner
    He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
    All the counselors hate the waiters
    And the lake has alligators
    And the head coach wants no sissies
    So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
    Now I don’t want this should scare ya
    But my bunkmate has malaria
    You remember Jeffrey Hardy
    They’re about to organize a searching party.

  67. 67.

    becca

    September 20, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Bobo’s head has really been riffing lately, as his heart just doesn’t seem in it, anymore. Recent columns have been brain droppings in the most literal sense.

    He’s flailing.

  68. 68.

    Applejinx

    September 20, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    @M31:
    I wish to subscribe to your newsletter :D

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    September 20, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Sometimes I just can’t help lovin’ that Wonkette:

    Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television

    The money graf:

    Of all the people to claim “I got beaten by my dad and look how well I turned out,” Sean Hannity is maybe not the poster child you’d look for.

  70. 70.

    Bob Munck

    September 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    They’d prepare and clean up all their meals together, and eating the meals would go on for a while. In the morning, they would read about and discuss big topics. In the afternoons, they’d play sports, take hikes and build something complicated together. At night, there’d be a bar and music…

    Brooks is describing a team-building exercise that would be attended by upper, upper management of a large company with a lot of profits to hide. It’s real purpose is two-fold: keep a bunch of useless executives out of the office so they can’t commit chaotic reorganizations or stupid acquisitions and make huge amounts of money for the consultants and companies that put them on.

    Brooks has probably never been high enough in the bloated management hierarchy of the media companies he’s “worked” for to recognize the syndrome.

  71. 71.

    Mnemosyne

    September 20, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    @Bob Munck:

    We just did team-building at my office and we’re definitely not high-level executives. Of course, ours was a couple of hours at the local bowling alley with pizza and snacks, not two weeks at a resort where we pretended to cook our own meals that had really been prepped by the staff so no one injured themselves with a knife.

  72. 72.

    Bob Munck

    September 20, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    ours was a couple of hours at the local bowling alley with pizza and snacks

    I’m guessing corporate paid for the food and lanes, but it was on your own time, not theirs. Shoe rental could go either way, depending on how generous some drone in HR felt that day. One higher-level executive showed up.

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne

    September 20, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    @Bob Munck:

    Nope, it was on company time, and the company paid for the shoes. It was just our own department, so our department head (my direct boss) was there, too. Sometimes one of the advantages to being at a Giant Evil Corporation is that individual departments have a fair amount of autonomy, so we were able to plan and pay for everything with minimal interference.

    ETA: Sometimes small, individually owned companies are more of a pain in the ass, like the company I worked for where we were not allowed to use company money to buy paper towels, because it wasn’t a “business expense.” So we dried dishes with coffee filters, which were a “business expense.”

  74. 74.

    Betsy

    September 20, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    @stinger: also, most normal people have the abilit to find new true d without going to a $500 million dollar camp.

    Oh brooksie, Just think of saying hello to someone, aksing about their day and their preferences, and actually making an effort to follow up on yr regard for them in some small way, such as looking after their cat when they go away for a weekend or a surgery, or noticing when they have a small triumph or loss in an average week in life.

    Imagine being able to do that, and yet to be a grocery cashier with no paid vacation! How talented these poors are,indeed.

    Except that brooks can’t conceive of it, so the poors must be incapable of it (by projection on his part)

    How groundbreaking that whole fiendship thing must seem to rich yuppies with their ski vacations and their money-based marriages

  75. 75.

    Betsy

    September 20, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    @Betsy: fiendship. Hehe heh

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