Via SB Nation. Speaking of which fine site, satirical favorite PFT Commenter now has an additional outlet at Strongtakes.com, where the latest dispatch explains that “Fleshlight should sponsor the NFL since Proctor and Gamble won’t”:
… Just yesterday Jasno La Canfora reported that Proctor and Gamble woudnt be making a bunch of pink stuff for the league to sell for profit’s while pretneding they care about women this year. While this is a huge blow for the NFL, the universe never closes a door without opening another fake entrence that feels just like the real thing.
What better way to make money while literally pretending you love women more then getting a sponsorship with Fleshlight?
Most importantly for the NFL, partnering with a company that is the worlds leading expert on pretending to have sex with fake vaginas would be probly there LEAST mysognistic current business partner. It would show the world that the League is serous about womens rights issues because theres literally no way to use a fleshlight unconsenually. The NFL wold be taking a brave stand in the world of violents against women and it would be a literally stroke of genius…
Warning, NSFW, in case that hadn’t occurred to you.
***********
Apart from lecturing me about not taking Serious Subjects Seriously, what’s on the agenda as we wrap up the weekend?
raven
We have so much to catch up on! Two Roosevelt episodes, one Boardwalk and the last Honorable Woman!!!
Pogonip
Thanks to helpful readers, I got that unwanted album off the new iPod. Ghost Riders in the Sky is now residing on it in glorious solitude. Before you laugh, Halloween approacheth so it’s the first song that popped into my head, and Johnny Cash will NEVER go out of style.
That reminds me. Murder in Coweta County, the great movie he made with Andy Griffith, is back in print.
delk
Did he use a new iOS 8 keyboard to type that?
srv
Let the boys play full contact with their ball sports and the girls watch the kardashians or whatever it is they do.
Is nothing sacred?
Google ads asks me if I want a sugar mommy. Derp.
Pogonip
Rex Fleshlight: yuck. Reminds me of those devices used to collect semen from prize livestock.
jl
I thank this blog for spending minimal time and space on the latest Secret Service supposed scandal. They seem to provide a sensible level of security without maiming or killing most of people who decide to do something nutty. And, maybe it would have been different had their been important officials or members of first family there, but that is not in fact the case this time. So, let the Service do a review and quit the all public hand wringing. No, this is NOT some officer getting shit face on some assignment and allowing a prostitute to walk out of the hotel room with all his stuff. But the Sunday squak shows need content, so there is that.
Thank God I had something to do today rather than watch football. Best can be said is that duh Raiduhs made a fairly good show against a good team
Thanks to commenters who led me to Deadspin. Hilarious writing, though I don’t agree with them on everything. They hate the owners and suits with a passion, so their heart is in the right place.
I agree with Madden on violence in football: league wide policy needed to set an objective uniform minimum standard for behavior. If players cannot meet that, then bench them with pay like teachers and cops. Then need uniform league policy and standard of evidence for harsher sanctions Check out Daily Madden KCBS website. I check it out at least once a week.
Morbo
Man, get that blog a copy editor, stat!
jl
Reading Deadspin posts on brain injury stuff got me thinking about it. I think it is really simple, if the rules allow play that result in serious injury and disability on a regular basis, then change the damn rules, drastically if necessary. If the news report I heard earlier today is true that NFL estimates 1/3 of players eventually have permanent mental disability due to their history of play, then NFL rules need drastic change.
If the sport is still a real sport, and not some BS action and violence exhibition (roller derby, pro wrestling, anybody?) then the sport can survive the rule changes. Ameerican football used to have flying wedge, and up to a dozen people got maimed or killed each year.So, big public outcry (Gosh, Hannity, I guess we had gone ‘soft’ even back then). University and US presidents threatened to ban the game.
So, they changed the rules drastically, and guess hey, American football survived. So, owners should quit the BS about the rules allowing the naughty undisciplined players to do this or that. Who makes the rules? OK, that is a SATSQ.
Most of my football fandhood due to childlike (or maybe childish?) emotional loyalty to local teams anyway. Local kid Kap, maybe he should played baseball for Giants! Damn, looks like they have better chance of getting over playoff hump than the 49ers this year, he might have done them more good. Is it too late? Heard he was one mean baseball player.
jl
I am taking questions now. You are all welcome.
Howard Beale IV
Dig this: Blackwater Founder: We Could Stop ISIS
muddy
@Howard Beale IV: They should go on over. Pay them upon completion.
Dog On Porch
“..keep you doped with religion, and sex, and TV..”.
Dr. Winston O’Boogie circa 1971
WaterGirl
@Howard Beale IV:
Yeah, we could go to war without using our soldiers! No military chain of command. No accountability. That sounds awesome.
jl
@WaterGirl: Prince is in the international mercenary business now, right? If so his company has a track record. What is it? Is any better than what his outfit did in Iraq, ride around like bigshots, burn through unlimited mass quantities of government cash, and shoot up the place with no accountability and no visible impact? Or, better?
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Pogonip: You haven’t lived until you’ve signed for a very chilled container and when the fed ex driver asks “what’d you get that’s so cold?” you answer, with a straight face, “semen.” Politely adding, of course, that it’s equine to be used for your mare. But not before s/he’s really, really confused, and slightly undone.
jl
@jl: I forgot that there was some visible counterproductive impact. Sorry for the oversight.
WaterGirl
@jl: There is no track record that could even begin to make up for the damage that he and his companies have done.
Joey Maloney
@jl:
Exsqueeze me? I coach roller derby. It’s a real sport, and has been since the late 90s revival. Those women play hard – but with appropriate safety equipment and rules to minimize serious injury. Educate yourself, my brother.
Women’s Flat Track Derby Association 2013 championship match
jl
@Joey Maloney: OK, thanks. I will reconsider status of roller derby. What goes in that link is not what I remember seeing on TV when I was a little kid.
Fort Geek
@Joey Maloney: Roller derby is fun as hell when you’ve got two teams of hard chargers. The Emerald Coast RD chicks are bad. ass. Our other local team is okay, but just that.
Bart
Both a then/than error (“better…then”) and a there/their error (“there LEAST mysognistic current business partner”)? Seriously? It cannot be that hard to write proper English, now can it?
RobertB
@Bart: The horrible English is part of PFT Commenter’s schtick.
Someguy
It’s time to shut down this racist, sexist, homophobic plantation league which is run by crimals and staffed by criminals for the benfit of criminal owners. Remove their anti-trust exemption, revoke their non-profit status, and deny them free stadiums and other government benefits. They are troglodytes.