It’s been awfully rainy here. The ground is completely saturated, and the ditches are brimming with standing water. When that happens in Florida, insects will seek shelter in your home, no matter how often you spray poisons to repel them or how scrupulously clean you keep your abode (not that I’ve ever tried the latter, but so I hear).
A particularly large specimen made its way inside earlier, and it must have been addled by the chemicals we use to try to keep them out because it charged me, running straight in my direction across the kitchen floor instead of scuttling behind an appliance or something. So I grabbed the broom and whaled on it until the broom head sheared off against the tile.
But the motherfucking palmetto bug kept coming, so I continued beating it with the broom handle, screaming, “DIE! DIE! DIE!” with each blow until I finally cracked its Kevlar carapace and dispatched it to Roachy Valhalla, where it need not be ashamed in the company of its mighty forefathers.
This is not an unusual occurrence. In fact, I may have shared a similar episode with you before, broken broom and all. I forget. Anyhoo, I texted the mister that I’d wrecked yet another broom, expecting a mild reproof about just using a rolled up magazine or shoe (as if I would come that close!) to kill bugs. But instead he replied, “Maybe you should get a four door,” which was not very nice, but I admit I sort of walked right into that one.
Open thread.
gene108
I do not understand what a “four door” (I’ve only heard it used to describe cars) has to do with bugs and/or broom handles.
Sorry, your punchline went right over my head, though the set was very enjoyable.
Tone In DC
LULz.
I’ll use whatever is around on these damn bugs. A broom, a shoe, the newspaper, an MX missile.
We have waterbugs in Georgetown (right in front of restaurants!) that have been known to carry off small pets.
Jerzy Russian
Can’t you train your dogs to hunt and eat bugs? Since they eat chicken shit, I would assume the taste of bugs won’t bother them.
Jerzy Russian
@gene108: I think Mr. Cracker was implying that Ms. Cracker wrecked her boom because she was riding on it in the manner that witches do. So she should seek out more conventional transportation, as in a 4-door car.
Roger Moore
@gene108:
I think he was suggesting she was using the broom as a means of transportation.
schrodinger's cat
I was fully expecting a link to a video of BC vacuuming in a tight leather skirt to accompany this post, when I read the title.
Betty Cracker
@Jerzy Russian: It would be a great skill for them to learn, but they’re usually snoozing when a pest accosts me, and the few times they have noticed a bug before I do, they pick it up in their mouths, carry it to me, and then drop it — alive! — at my feet. They must be part retriever or something.
Shakezula
Zing!
The highlight of my recent trip to Florida, aside from not being shot, was the fact I didn’t encounter any creepy insect life. I saw some black paper wasps that were larger than necessary, but not terribly so.
Have you squirting the bugs with bacon fat and letting the dogs take care of the rest.
p.s. I got the broom joke right off the bat, so to speak.
shortstop
What’s the skinny on these palmetto bugs? My formerly Florida-residing sister swore they were genetically different than supergigantico cockroaches, but I’m skeptical of this piece of self-comforting.
Dee Loralei
@Jerzy Russian: Thank you, that makes sense. I too, like Gene, was sorely confused.
donnah
Oh, slam! Mister did get a golden opportunity to getcha, and I did LOL.
I’m glad you didn’t post a pic of the critter’s remains. Those bugs creep me out.
I’m returning home from a rug hooking workshop in Saskatchewan, which was delightful. While I was away, I read that the police who killed the young black man in Walmart in my hometown will not be charged. I don’t know if there will be charges filed against the guy who initiated the panic with his cell phone call, but he should be in jail.
Another case of an innocent life stolen just because he was the wrong color.
Mustang Bobby
We have those bugs in Miami. They’re so prominent they named an expressway after them. I’ve given up the preemptive strikes; they seem to love getting high on Raid and when you step on them the crunch drowns out the sound on the TV.
I’ve even given a couple of them names, but they never come when you call them.
schrodinger's cat
@Jerzy Russian: We don’t get roaches where I live but do get gigantic ants in spring, my kitteh refuses to touch them, though she will eat almost all other bugs. I guess they must taste yucky.
dr. bloor
I thought AK-47s were the weapon of choice for palmetto bugs in Florida.
JPL
Bette, You keep a stack of magazines, (the kind you read) and choose one to plop on the bug. You then jump up and down on the magazine, hoping to squish the critter underneath it. You leave the magazine in place, until you have company that will remove the magazine and place it in the recycle bin. It’s easy. For me though, since I live alone, it might stay in place for awhile.
boatboy_srq
All I can think of is watching Peter Jurasik in Babylon 5 doing the same thing to a bug – but with a broadsword. Hysterical then, hysterical now.
Florida. The bugs really are bigger. Just look at Bernie Madoff and Rick Scott.
Paul in KY
I remember how happy The Homestead AFB Officer Club staff was when I pointed to about a 2 1/2 incher crawling across the ceiling. Good times…
Mnemosyne
The night crew has already heard this story, but here it is again:
A couple of weeks ago, I walked into the bathroom to start getting ready for bed, switched on the light, and there was a very large, very black, very shiny spider dangling from the ceiling light. I, of course, had the completely rational reaction of, “OMFG IT’S A FUCKING BLACK WIDOW KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!” which woke poor G up out of a sound sleep. I was not going to get anywhere near that motherfucker, so G got a thick magazine and squished it in between the pages.
And, yes, Black Widow spiders are pretty common out here in So Cal, though I’d never spotted one before. My co-worker tried to make me feel better by telling me that there was probably only the one since they’re cannibals. Didn’t help.
shortstop
@schrodinger’s cat: Our hound mix loves a good insect snack, unless it’s a thousand-leg. I don’t know if they taste bitter or if all those hairy little gams feel gross in her mouth.
boatboy_srq
SUB: Sports Utility Broom. Tough enough to take on all critters. I think Subaru makes them.
schrodinger's cat
@Mnemosyne: My orange kitteh thinks that tiny spiders are a delicacy, she munches them with gusto like I do nuts or potato chips.
Jay C
Maybe, since chemical warfare seems to be proving ineffective, you should stock your domestic arsenal with a more-specialized weapon than a broom? Maybe something like a (plain, non-squirting) Swiffer without its pad: a long stick to allow some distance between you and the Palmetto Bugs Of Doom, but a nice flat hard surface to deal the bastards a death-blow.
PS: I got the “four-door” joke right away….
Bazinga!
Amir Khalid
@gene108:
Here’s my theory: the Bug (aka VW Beetle) is a two-door car, and Mr Cracker was suggesting that if Betty hates Bugs so much …
MattF
I’ve always cited ‘flying cockroaches’ as the reason I don’t live in Florida, but ‘armored flying cockroaches’ is a better reason.
Paul in KY
@Shakezula: Next time you are down there, take a close look at the grass. A real close look.
Roger Moore
@shortstop:
But millipedes aren’t insects; they’re myriapods. If it has more than 6 legs, it’s not an insect!
Mnemosyne
@schrodinger’s cat:
Our kitties seem to like other bugs, but there’s no way I’m going to let them try to chow down on a known poisonous spider. That was the other fun part — I was trying to prevent the cats from wandering in (because of course they need to know what all of the shouting is about) while G was getting his Black Widow Murder Kit together.
I am terrified of spiders but try to take a “live and let live” attitude towards them since they eat other bugs. But a fucking Black Widow is a completely different story.
Jerzy Russian
@schrodinger’s cat: My cat from childhood would munch on grasshoppers the same way. Some of them were very large, and scaled up would be the equivalent of me eating a corn dog.
Paul in KY
@schrodinger’s cat: My cats will eat a lot of bugs, but no ants. Haven’t tried them myself, but they must taste bad. Moles evidently also taste bad.
Peej
One of my cats caught a cicada last week and, of course, brought it into the house. Fortunately, he and my other cat promptly devoured it. There’s nothing worse than big, honking, flying bugs…not that cicadas fly too well (hence being easy prey for 17-year old cats). The good part about having cold winters is that keeps the size of the bugs down.
Ruckus
@schrodinger’s cat:
My landlady’s 2 cats stalk insects and pounce. Of course they just roll them around in their mouths for a few moments, then spit them back out.
PIGL
Instead of cracking wise, Mr. Cracker should buy you a sturdy shop vac, on coasters, with a long sturdy hose and 10cm of wood alcohol in the tank.
I am afraid I can award no internets for comparing Thèoden King to a Palmetto Bug.
Paul in KY
@schrodinger’s cat: Spiders are related to crabs. Some huge tarantula ones in rain forest are regularly consumed by Indians. They grill them on a fire.
Paul in KY
@Jay C: You don’t just want to piss em off…
Mnemosyne
@Paul in KY:
Keaton (our big tuxedo boy) loves ants — when they swarmed his food, he was happily munching them down.
One of the weirder behaviors I saw in my cats was when Charlotte caught a bug and I swear the other two cats came over to congratulate her on her kill! Charlotte and Annie will hunt bugs together like two little lionesses, which is yet another reason they’re not allowed outdoors — they would decimate the local bird, rodent, and lizard populations.
JPL
Sorry to interrupt this important thread on how to stomp out critters but it appears that the fire at the FAA that shut down O’Hare was started by a disgruntled employee.
An ATF source tells WGN-TV that this was a disgruntled employee who was upset because he was being transferred to Hawaii.
I know people love the mid-west and especially the Chicago area but really!
Origuy
Wikipedia says that a Palmetto Bug is technically a Florida woods cockroach (Eurycotis floridana) Orkin’s web site says:
The most common species in North America is probably the German cockroach (Blattella germanica).
Roger Moore
@JPL:
It’s a cost of living thing. Hawaii is an expensive place to live.
schrodinger's cat
@Paul in KY: Some Chinese eat scorpions so there is really no accounting for taste.
JPL
@Roger Moore: That makes sense. Whoever the employee was, the cost of living won’t be a problem now.
PIGL
@Paul in KY: Not really. They are about as closely related to crabs as we are to tunicate worms.
Jay C
@Peej:
Another reason to be glad our second house is in a fairly cool climate zone (Berkshires) – it’s well out of the cicada zone because of the cold – the last outbreak of the (?)17-year ones (?2013?) we had friends in the Hudson Valley who were right in the middle of some swarms, and were utter freaked out: yeah, yeah, cicadas are harmless, and all: but I’m still glad we’ve never (unlike our unfortunate friends) had to live for weeks with hundreds of large, ugly, noisy bugs in all our outdoor (and, disgustingly, some indoor) spaces.
Never had much of a bug problem here (outside of wasps), except for a fortunately unique occurrence some years back, when I found what I swear was a dying Madagascar Hissing Cockroach twitching its last in the middle of our staircase. Thank FSM we’ve never seen another…
TaMara (BHF)
@Jerzy Russian: I would think the chickens would be her first defense. They love bugs.
Paul in KY
@Mnemosyne: Good ole Keaton! He likes them mixed with catfood. Will not try that, as I would eat ants before wet catfood.
FlipYrWhig
@schrodinger’s cat: I’d like to know what human being was the first to figure out that crabs and/or lobsters and/or sea urchins were edible. Empirically speaking, it seems pretty unlikely.
SatanicPanic
@shortstop: My question is- do they fly? Because flying cockroaches win my vote for worst type of roach
Paul in KY
@schrodinger’s cat: I would try a cooked scorpion. I have ate cicadas. Deep fried them for about 2 or 3 secs. Didn’t taste much of anything.
Paul in KY
@PIGL: I’m pretty sure they are more closely related than we are to tunicate worms. They are both arthropods.
shortstop
@Roger Moore: “Thousand-legs” is local slang for centipedes, not millipedes. No one knows why; Chicagoans are weird. And yes, they’re myriapods, not insects, but how this relates to my dog’s disinclination to eat them is unclear. Perhaps you have a theory?
Paul in KY
@FlipYrWhig: I read once that while our pilgrim immigrants were half starving, the coast was inundated with oodles of lobsters, which they didn’t think were edible.
shortstop
@Origuy: I knew they were up to euphemising! Gross.
PIGL
@TaMara (BHF): But could a chicken tackle a one of these horrors?
entnemdept.ifas.ufl.edu/creatures/urban/roaches/eurycotis_floridana03.jpg
I think if one were in the presence of “chickens” that could devour palmetto bugs, the bugs would the least of your worries.
Paul in KY
@shortstop: Centipedes are usually poisonous & generally have nasty tempers too.
shortstop
@FlipYrWhig: Sea urchins especially. I like to eat them, if only to pay them back for the misery they’ve caused me, but only if someone else does the work.
Roger Moore
@schrodinger’s cat:
And a lot of them eat silkworms. The cocoons are boiled to get the silk, which leaves cooked silkworms as a byproduct.
Betty Cracker
@PIGL: When we were remodeling, the shop-vac lived in the house, and it was my go-to roach removal solution, even without the wood alcohol. But we finally wrapped that up, so now it’s back in the garage and too unwieldy for rapid roach response.
bemused
@Mnemosyne:
Our two sister cats like to catch moths that get in the house. I’ve seen them take turns playing/torturing the moth. One plays with the moth for awhile as the other watches a few inches away. Then she drops the moth and waits for her sister to take over.
PIGL
@Paul in KY: Yup, but different subphyla. Just like we and tunicates are in different subphyla of Chordata. I do not know enough* about the genetics and paleoevolution of these enormous and ancient lineages, but I am pretty sure that the relationship between spiders and crabs is distant.
* if by “enough” you mean “anything”
Botsplainer
Betty, play hurt on his witch analogy. My wife would.
By the time it was done, she’d turn my funny quip into a piece of jewelry, a night out and some lingerie and shoes and a couple of purses.
SatanicPanic
@Paul in KY: My son and I were hunting for bugs. We put a tiny millipede- maybe a 3/4 of an inch long- in his bug house with a good-sized earwig. Came back 10 minutes later and found nothing but the earwig’s pinchers left. Millipedes are no joke.
shortstop
@Paul in KY: Ah, she’s being a smart girl, then. (The bad-temper part made me laugh. I know what you meant, but I’m picturing them bitchslapping passersby with their tiny little leggies.)
PIGL
@Betty Cracker: They actually make and sell small versions: vacuum powered bug capturing tools. Maybe DeWalt makes an 18V cordless version….that might have enough power to handle rhinoceros beetles….and hundred palmetto bugs.
shortstop
@Botsplainer: Sometimes I wonder if you’re really Pete Campbell.
shelley
Since never, thankfully, personally encountered a palmetto, I had to google it. Jeezus, those things are creepy.
*********
Can’t believe I’m still fighting these damn fruit flies. Where are all the inside spiders when you need them?
Fair Economist
Unfortunately palmetto bugs seem to have made it to Southern California. I never saw any my first 20 years here but I’ve seen several lately. I’m pretty mellow about bugs myself (spiders I relocate, cockroach I squish, but calmly) but I have the misfortune to have family members who totally freak out even about innocuous things like non-dangerous spiders and lone cockroaches. Even my tween son freaked when he saw his first palmetto bug and dispensed about a quarter-can of raid into the garage as I kept saying “just squish it and clean up the house.”
Emma
@shortstop: They are! They are! Mutant horrors from outer space, I tell you!
MattF
@shelley: Possibly OT, I knew a woman who was a fruitfly geneticist. Aside from the boredom of spending years extracting fruitfly salivary glands, there was the occasional lab accident where the flies get loose. She had thick red hair, and a good shake of the head would generally yield a few flies and a shrug, “They’re sterile.”
JCJ
Hi Betty.
Your story reminds me of the time I was in Chiang Mai, Thailand and I went to use the restroom. There was an enormous bug by the toilet that I thought would scurry away when I approached. Nope. It started waving its antennae and ran towards me. I figured I would wait and find another restroom.
shortstop
@MattF: Thank dog she wasn’t a mule geneticist.
schrodinger's cat
@bemused: They may look cuddly and cute, but they are true hunter killers at their core.
-kitteh minion.
Paul in KY
@PIGL: Looked into the Wiki (you made me do that!), and spiders are much more closely related to horseshoe crabs than they are to true crabs. They are related, just more distantly (maybe like a human & a ray finned fish).
schrodinger's cat
@Emma: They could survive either a nuclear holocaust or global warming.
beth
@PIGL: I could swear there was a post on those a few months ago and Betty was going to buy one.
I once dropped a phone book on a palmetto bug, jumped up and down on it and had it saunter away after I lifted the book. They’re also the only bug my dog won’t eat.
Botsplainer
So some fun GOP fakery and hijinks have been occurring in North Carolina, where flyers with bad dates and addresses have been going out, courtesy of the freedom lovers of AFP.
m.dailykos.com/stories/1332558
Is it too much to hope that someday, a chubby, pasty cheeked young patriot who thinks up this sort of plot gets beaten to death by a cranky, terminally ill person who is sick of this shit? It can be an example to others.
bemused
@schrodinger’s cat:
Oh yes. That’s why I was amused that they shared with each other, not one taking possession and growling at anyone, human or animal, who tries to take their kill away which is the usual cat behavior. If it was a mouse instead of a moth, I don’t doubt it would be a different story.
Roger Moore
@schrodinger’s cat:
This. There’s a reason they’re on the list of the 100 worst invasive species; they hunt and kill just about anything they can find. It makes their larger cousins pretty intimidating.
Mnemosyne
@PIGL:
Kind of random question, but it sounds like you may know: my friend with weird allergies is allergic to both dust (actually dust mites) and crabs, and the doctor told her it’s because dust mites and crabs are related, so people who are allergic to one are allergic to both. True, false, or an oversimplification?
@FlipYrWhig:
Frog’s legs. Only someone really desperate for nourishment would look at a frog and think, Hey, that looks tasty! It’s kind of funny how many desperation peasant foods have become “gourmet.”
@Paul in KY:
They’ve had people eat fried grasshoppers on “The Amazing Race.” Apparently it wasn’t so bad to eat them, but they had to eat a GIANT bucketful of them, and like any fried food, it was pretty nasty once you got to the bottom and they were all cold, greasy, and congealing.
Mike J
@Botsplainer:
“mistakes”
gogol's wife
Every day a yellow jacket gets into my study and buzzes around the window until I let it out (I know it’s probably not the same yellow jacket every day). This has been going on since August. (It doesn’t happen in any other part of the house.) We had an exterminator in a few years ago, and he said they come down through the sides of the windows. But I keep worrying that they have a nest in the wall or something. Last night I dreamed there was an array of bees, bumblebees, wasps, and yellow jackets all over the walls and I had no idea what to do about it. So this post is bringing my dream back in a most unpleasant way.
Mnemosyne
@gogol’s wife:
You probably don’t want to seek out Tom Levenson’s post on his own blog about the giant beehive they found inside the walls of their new-to-them house. The bee expert said it had probably been there for 20 years or more. They got some tasty honey out of it, at least.
Paul in KY
@Mnemosyne: Have wished to be on amazing race, just to eat some of that weird stuff. It will start a new season tonight.
schrodinger's cat
@Mnemosyne: In Maine, apparently they used to feed lobsters to prison inmates, before lobsters were considered gourmet.
beth
@Mnemosyne: My kid is allergic to dust mites but not crabs. She has no problem eating them.
Mnemosyne
@schrodinger’s cat:
IIRC, lobsters became gourmet because we ate too damn many of them and almost sent them to extinction. Yay humans! :-p
Paul in KY
@gogol’s wife: Need to go around house & randomly hit the walls. Then listen. If they are in there, you will hear them (I would think).
Trollhattan
I’m now picturing quidditch as played in fleets of Camrys. That Mister Cracker is pretty quick (must be the competition).
danielx
Bada-bing! Mental image of the mister blowing smoke from a forefinger pistol barrel.
kindness
My house is surrounded by cornfields this time of year (feed corn, not good eatin’ corn) and they are cutting the corn. Hence all these mosquitoes that used to live amongst the corn are trying to get into the house. God I hate biting insects. None the less, the last field is about a month from cutting so we’ll be putting up with this till it gets so cold they can’t really fly around much any longer. Hopefully we will have a winter this year, unlike last year where we really didn’t.
schrodinger's cat
@Trollhattan: Why Camry? the most boring car in the Universe, at least lets give Betty a fast, sporty car.
shortstop
@Paul in KY: You know you can do it without being on TV, right? Pictures!
Trollhattan
@Mnemosyne:
Ditto oysters. When I was a kid in the PNW they canned salmon as dog food (cheap!). For that matter, the Bay Area had a dog food cannery (Kalkan) that used whale meat, at least into the ’70s.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
So it seems that the Washington football team is selling expired beer.
Trollhattan
@schrodinger’s cat:
That’s the key–going from brooms to the world’s most boring transportation appliance–ironic wizard hipsters!
My favorite thing about the original Robocop was the primer gray Taurus police cars. Perfect touch.
danielx
@Botsplainer:
Not making much effort to hide it, are they?
Paul in KY
@shortstop: That (not being on TV) hasn’t stopped me. What has stopped me is you have to go 1/2 way around world to eat some of it.
shortstop
@Paul in KY: Okay, good point. But come on up to Illinois in August and we can set you up with the bucket o’grasshoppers.
Tone In DC
@gogol’s wife:
“…I keep worrying that they have a nest in the wall or something. Last night I dreamed there was an array of bees, bumblebees, wasps, and yellow jackets all over the walls…”
If I found an actual wasp nest in my place, I’d probably forgo Orkin and Terminix and just have Admiral Fallon (yeah, he’s retired, I don’t care) call in an air strike.
Roaches, waterbugs, mice and such I can deal with. The occasional off-course honeybee. Not wasps.
cckids
@shortstop:
Why would that be comforting? They’re giant bugs, I wouldn’t care if they were ladybugs, they’d still be creepy.
My sister lived in FL for a while; once she & her toddler & cat were outside & encountered a giant cockroach. The cat was interested, did the paw smack they do, then, when the roach scuttled towards it, hissed. The roach picked up its head & hissed back & kept coming.
Sister, kid & kitteh all took off for the great indoors. She moved to Idaho. (not just because of this incident, but it did help)
Bex
@PIGL: I like the vacuum cleaner approach, but would suggest one that uses bags (which you spray inside with some kind of poison) because I’d rather dump a bag of bugs than loose ones. I’d look for said appliance at garage sales…one that definitely sucks.
PIGL
@Mnemosyne: Sorry, I don’t know for sure, but would not have thought so. I thought dust mite allergies were either to their moulted shells (hence probably to chitin) or else to their tiny wee poops. If its chitin, well, crabs have that in their shells, but so do a lot of things. I just a quick look but can’t find out what are the actual allergens in crabs lobsters and such.
cckids
@JPL: You keep a stack of magazines, (the kind you read) and choose one to plop on the bug. You then jump up and down on the magazine, hoping to squish the critter underneath it.
Betty Cracker
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): And the Pigskins’ caterers are no doubt charging upwards of $8 for it too. Bastids!
Trollhattan
@gogol’s wife:
Yellow jackets commonly (not exclusively) nest in the ground and if it doesn’t rain during the summer, most colonies survice and thrive until winter, when they die off to begin anew next spring. It’s possible they’ve nested in your house but also check the yard. Sometimes if you just watch you can see them come and go from the optning.
The go-to trap is a tin of soapy water with bait suspended above (invrted on a stick). They eat, drop to take flight, get caught in the water and drown. I’ve caught hundreds that way (especially on camping trips). Hate them with a passion, especially after discovering they can bite as well as sting.
jeffreyw
Thread needs a cuddle of puppies.
Paul in KY
@shortstop: Mmmmm, sounds tasty! What kind of oil do you sauté them in?
cckids
Betty, since you’re in Florida, I thought you might try this.
shortstop
@cckids: My sis grew up in Chicago. Here, cockroaches are associated with poor housekeeping, sloppy food storage, etc. Palmetto bugs hit even the tidiest homes, rendering no moral judgment on those visited. I’m just describing how my sister’s mind works.
Paul in KY
@Trollhattan: Down in Florida (and a few other hot states), they do not die off in Winter & you can get huge colonies that keep going year after year. Have heard/read about a few people being stung to death by them.
shortstop
@Paul in KY: I don’t eat meat, but I’d suggest something with a bold presence that won’t be eclipsed by the crunch. A little red pepper or smoked paprika would not be untoward either.
cckids
@Mnemosyne:
Any spider hanging from my ceiling isn’t going to last. Sorry, stick to the walls & floors, guys. Walking into a web or a spider just brings out the killer instinct in me.
I had my own black widow moment in August. I was getting a bike out of storage & one crawled onto my hand from under the seat. HUGE. Body the size of a large grape. I almost shit myself. 2 months later & I can still feel it on my hand. Ick.ick. ick.
Paul in KY
@shortstop: In Florida, the most clean home will have bugs. Maybe if you lived in a giant can of DDT, you would not have any.
Paul in KY
@shortstop: I agree. You would want an infused oil. Doesn’t take but a few seconds to deep fry one.
Paul in KY
Off for the weekend, hope everyone has a great one!
rikyrah
Koch-backed group mails out misleading voter registration info in NC
NC residents mailed incorrect voter registration information
BY AMANDA ALBRIGHT
September 25, 2014 Updated 6 hours ago
RALEIGH — Hundreds of North Carolinians – and one cat – have received incorrect voter registration information, according to the N.C. State Board of Elections.
The information – an “official application form” – was sent by Americans for Prosperity, a national conservative group with a state chapter based in Raleigh.
Since then, hundreds of people who received the forms have called and complained to the State Board of Elections, said Joshua Lawson, a public information officer for the board.
“It’s unclear where (Americans for Prosperity) got their list, but it’s caused a lot of confusion for people in the state,” Lawson said.
One resident even received a voter registration form addressed to her cat, he said.
“The phone calls have consistently been all day, every day,” Lawson said.
newsobserver.com/2014/09/25/4181779_voters-mailed-incorrect-information.html?sp=/99/102/105/&rh…
Amir Khalid
@jeffreyw:
(Very quietly, so as not to disturb the sleeping babies) squee …
Ruckus
@Mnemosyne:
Frogs legs are good. Had them in the navy. Once. One of the few good meals I was ever served while in. I’m glad some one was hungry and had frogs handy that first time.
Just One More Canuck
@boatboy_srq: Yeah but then you’d leave it in a field in West Virginia
cckids
@shortstop: Oh, I know. I grew up in Nebraska, where the same is true. Moved to the desert, where there are roaches every-f-ing where, and people don’t feel the same way about it. I know the mentality. I knew people in NE who would call them “water bugs”. They were roaches. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Trollhattan
@Paul in KY:
Well now, Florida just became even more of a hellscape in my mind. Whodathunk?
Mnemosyne
@Ruckus:
G had them at Stella Mare’s in Santa Barbara. They were okay. To me, they tasted like pencil erasers sautéed in garlic and tomato, but I am not an adventurous eater.
boatboy_srq
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Budweiser (actually, any major label US “beverage”), expired or otherwise, and beer, in the same sentence. HERESY!
rikyrah
GOP Backs Early Voting—Just Not for Blacks
Republicans have blocked efforts to allow early voting, particularly on Sundays, in a number of areas with large, black voting blocs, but are pushing it where it helps their cause.
By: Charles D. Ellison
Posted: Sept. 26 2014 3:00 AM
Before 2008, early voting was the “in thing” for wealthier, whiter, educated Republican voters. Then the Obama-campaign nerds mobilized it into a black thing, too. Go to church, get on a bus, go vote. And look who we got as president.
Can’t have that, right? So instead of playing the long game and making a “big tent” bid for black votes, Republicans are weaving this elaborate and costly national legislative strategy to (in the immortal words of Todd Akin) “shut that whole thing down.”
Early voting is a Republican thing … and you can’t have it anymore.
Perception coupled with cynical strategy and narrowed, racial, knee-jerk reactions have prompted a wave of poll taxing unseen since Jim Crow and the advent of the Voting Rights Act. GOP strategists have dug deep into the racial recesses of mostly white Republican minds, fanning fears of a black electorate and urging legislators in multiple states to design elaborate barriers to the voting process. It would get that much harder to get to a polling place. Much more difficult to vote on a weekend, with some states going out of their way to make Sunday early voting extinct.
An interesting example blows the strategy’s racial spot up in the Show-Me-Racism state of Missouri, where the Republican-led legislature managed to push a “six day” early-voting proposal into a ballot referendum for November. Missouri Republicans want early voting—just on the kind of terms that a mostly Republican demographic would want: six days minus the weekend. That includes the infamous Sunday that white Republicans have castigated as a get-out-the-black-vote day for Democrats.
theroot.com/articles/politics/2014/09/gop_backs_early_voting_to_help_themselves_but_makes_it_tougher…
MattF
And here I thought Rick Perry was a moron:
talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/david-dewhurst-prayer-rugs-constitutional-right-mexican-border
It’s a low bar.
Calouste
@MattF: I’ve always cited “Florida” as the reason I don’t live in Florida.
Punchy
But Derek Jeter got a hit like he’s extremely well-paid to do, and the whole fucking world has lost its mind.
Betty Cracker
@Punchy: I call shenanigans on that hit. I’m not saying Jeter was in on it, but the pitcher lobbed a grapefruit, and then the catcher failed to reel in the throw to the plate, allowing Jeter’s last at-bat at Yankee Stadium to be a walk-off game winner? Bull and shit, I say!
FlipYrWhig
@shortstop:
I know it’s more than an hour later, but I thought you’d like to know that that qualified as an honest-to-God LOL.
R-Jud
It is the Month of Spiders over here. They’re all over the garden, across the gate, on the side view mirror of the car, in our cabinets, our closets, everyfuckingwhere.
Our cat who sees them as treats is happy. the Bean thinks it is funny when I recoil from them: “Don’t worry, Mom, he’s only a softy spider.”
John M. Burt
My favorite line about palmetto bugs was from Dave Barry, who was greatly amused by hearing people say (paraphrastically), “Giant cockroach? Oh, hahahaha, that’s just a palmetto bug!”
The magical power of naming, I guess….
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
As if I needed a new reason to never again visit Florida.
Open thread? Contemplating a through hike of the John Muir trail next fall. Hoping to do it in a week…31-32 miles a day.
Anybody tried? Bueler?
BruceFromOhio
This bug thread is starting to freak me out, so here’s a different kind of bug tale.
Hint: its not about insects, but you may feel like breaking a few broomsticks afterwards.
Gin & Tonic
@Betty Cracker: Maybe, maybe not, but even my son, who is a very hard-core Red Sox fan, thought it was a fitting way to go out, and expressed nothing but support for the way Jeter played the game for 20 years.
Roger Moore
@FlipYrWhig:
I suspect that hunter gatherers tried eating just about anything, especially if they saw animals eating it. They were always on a lookout for anything edible or medicinal, and seeing animals eating it happily would convince them it was at least worth a taste.
Mnemosyne
@FlipYrWhig:
Vincent Kartheiser actually shaves his forehead/head to get that terrible combover look. That’s acting dedication.
NCSteve
I swear to god, I read a post from Betty like this one and I have trouble remembering why I was a regular reader of this blog long before Cole added her. (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t for Freddy.)
Betty Cracker
@Gin & Tonic: I agree about Jeter. I can’t stand the goddamn Yankees, but Jeter seems like a good guy. That finish sure seemed a little TOO perfect, though. But maybe my cynicism is unwarranted.
Jebediah, RBG
@Mike J:
And of course, Americans for Prosperity will put a full effort into making sure as many people as possible who got the “mistake” flyers get corrected ones, right?
Right?
Jebediah, RBG
@jeffreyw:
That much concentrated cute seems dangerous, in a “might tear the fabric of space-time” way…
Roger Moore
@Paul in KY:
Then you’d have nothing but the resistant ones.
Ruckus
@Mnemosyne:
Some cooks can make almost anything taste good, some can make it taste great, but many can make everything taste like shit. All but one of the cook’s food I tasted in the navy fell into the last category. Unfortunately the one who didn’t retired about 2 months after I reported to that boat. About 4-5 months later we came very close to having an armed mutiny over the quality/quantity of food.
Botsplainer
@Mike J:
Like I said, some chubby, pasty faced young patriot needs to be the cost example of what happens when you act this way.
Ruckus
@MattF:
Rick Perry is still a moron. There are others.
FlipYrWhig
@Mnemosyne: I like how he came up with a way to play the character that involved making every sentence seem to be filled with commas. “Listen, Don, you have to, admit, this is an im, portant, cli, ent.”
FlipYrWhig
@Betty Cracker: I don’t think he’s a good guy. I think he’s the beneficiary of the media machine that turns “quiet to the point of boring” into “classy” (offer may not be available outside New York). Those stories about the swag bags for his one-night stands seem rather believable, IMHO.
Pogonip
Betty, get a cat. They eat roaches.
The other night I was going to sleep and felt a tickle on my face; thought I better get up and kill the mosquito so I wouldn’t be covered with bites the next day. Turned on the light, looked around: didn’t see or hear a mosquito. Then I noticed this giant black Halloween spider, with inverted-V legs, on my pillow. That was what had run across my face. Since I was home alone and didn’t know where my son had put the bug catcher, down the toilet he went. (The spider, not my son.). I’ve been putting spiders out for the last 10 days; I anticipate an early frost. The spiders are rarely wrong.)
Roger Moore
@MattF:
He is, but there seems to be an informal competition in Texas to see who can be the dumbest of them all. Gohmert still holds the lead, but the race for second is a fierce one.
Betty Cracker
@FlipYrWhig: I know from a friend that Jeter is kind to bartenders, unlike many high rollers, and he’s never been a dick or a prima donna on the field like so many of his colleagues, so as far as I know, he’s a good guy.
@Pogonip: Jesus, that is horrifying.
Gravenstone
@gogol’s wife: The two years prior, I had yellow jacket infestations into my house. I would find them clustered along windows, trying to find a way out. Each evening, once I got home I’d spray them down with wasp spray and vacuum up their remains after a couple of hours. The first year, they chewed through my ceiling in the back office (finally realized the entry point when I saw a faint dribble of the mastication residue along the wall and looked up). The next year, they decided to use the vent from the fan in my master bathroom as their ingress. This year, I’m apparently off the harassment list, as I’ve only seen one from very early in the season. Ah, they joys of country living.
Original Lee
@Mnemosyne: Didn’t read the other thread, so forgive me if you already know, but black widow spiders are very small and usually stay low to the ground. Here’s a nice identification site.
Mnemosyne
@Original Lee:
First, I hate you for making me look at that site.
Second, it was definitely either a Black Widow or a False Black Widow. The body shape is pretty recognizable.
Third, “small” seems to be a relative term since Wikipedia tells me they’re up to a half-inch long. To me, a “small” spider is something that’s the size of the head of a pin, not something the size of my thumbnail.
Waynski
@Betty Cracker: I agree on Jetes. I don’t know if it was orchestrated exactly, but the game meant nothing to either team, so maybe the O’s decided to let him go out with a gimme – good for the game and all — show some respect. But it sure looked like BS to me too. A friend of mine pointed out that the second baseman was actually standing at second base. The first baseman seemed to make a slow, lethargical, not so dramatic dive for the ball. I think a Little Leaguer could have scooped that one up. Nevertheless, I’m a life-long Yankee fan and if the O’s tanked the game for him, I think it was a nice gesture on their part for his last game in his own house after a long and distinguished career. Plus, he’s an all around class act, which as the NFL has proven lately, is hard to come by in sports these days. We’ll miss him.
Original Lee
@Mnemosyne: Sorry! Better to be able to find out, though, right? I have only ever seen two black widow spiders, and both were less than a quarter inch long. From a former neighbor, who used to work for USDA in phytosanitation, if the spider is higher off the ground than about 3 feet, it’s probably not a black widow.
Mnemosyne
@Original Lee:
Keep in mind that I have three predators (cats) in my house. The spider may have decided to be prudent about deciding where to go next. It was doing that dangling-and-checking-things-out move, not building a web or anything.
ETA: I also wonder if there are species size differences — we’re in Southern California.
gogol's wife
@Gravenstone:
Oh my God. I hope this isn’t what it is. It’s never more than one a day, and sometimes none.
Mnemosyne
@Original Lee:
Also, if you’re into bugs, we saw a beautiful praying mantis in Pasadena the other night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that big outside of a zoo — I swear it stood about 4 inches tall. It was standing on the roof of my car when we came out to the parking lot after dinner. I’m really regretting not getting a picture now, but it was pretty dark, so it probably wouldn’t have come out.
Gravenstone
@Waynski: Um, the O’s are fighting for best record in order to get home field throughout (currently held by the Angels). It was hardly a “meaningless” game from their perspective.
And for the defensive alignment, perhaps your friend hasn’t paying attention to the growth of defensive overshifting? Jeter being a right hander, it’s no surprise they’d play 2B more up the middle, as he’s probably inclined to slightly pull the ball.
Ex Regis
I use a Dyson stick vacuum cleaner to catch these f*****s. They don’t seem to see the vacuum as it drops on top of them. Even catches those hoppity crickets. Then I can watch them spin around the container that holds the detritus. Until they die. And then I tell them I don’t go into their grassy homes, so they need to return the courtesy. Or else.
JR in WV
@Gravenstone:
@Betty Cracker:
We lived in Key West when we first got married – I was stationed there in the USN. We had a third floor apartment in a very old (historic) house. Still had bug trouble, ants bored a hole in the cornmean canister (two holes, one going in and one coming out) and streamed up and down the house to their lair in the ground, way down there.
One night I went into the kitchen for something, and a giant flying cockroach came running out of the fridge’s bottom, where it was extra warm for raising tiny cockroach babies. He ran right towards my closest foot. I almost screamed, it being the biggest bug I had ever seen, and wound up dancing from one foot to the other, lifting a foot from the floor if the giant bug got any closer to the down foot.
Wife comes in, puts a sandal on, steps on the bug.
I don’t like bugs, but I’m better now than I was then. But flying cockroaches, that takes the cake somewhere private to do horrible things to it.
We just got back from a short road trip to Key West, where things seemed like a small town back in the 1970-73 times, now there’s a strong hint of French Quarter New Orleans, by which I mean youngsters puking on their shoes in some bars. Way more tourists. Back then it was a small fishing town, slow in the tropical heat.
We had a good time, most of all chatting with a local. Lots of people immigrated from somewhere else, from Wales to other small Caribbean islands, fun to talk with them. We had a small Jacuzzi tub, that was nice. It was really hot and humid, like summertime but worse. I remember cool breezes from our last stay there. It was still pretty, the little old conch (pronounced conk) houses were mostly rehabbed and looked as good as new. The ones that were kinda dilapidated were often really fixed up nice, but not repainted to look sharp, maybe a property tax trip?
But the flying cockroaches, running for my feet…. oh. my. Gawd! That waz horribles!?#!?
Probably will go back. Not as much good music as New Orleans, or quite as good food, but not too shabby. Fun.
Betty Cracker
@JR in WV: I’m very fond of the Keys, though we tend to stay in the middle ones with just day trips to Key West. My dad rents a place every year, and we all go fishing. (Well, THEY fish. I read.)
Violet
@JR in WV: I suppose I shouldn’t tell you about the time I came up the back stairs to my apartment, opened the door, took one step in and a rat ran across my bare foot. Yeah. I can still feel that tail swiping across the top of my foot. Shudder.
Caught the sucker in a trap. And the one after that. And finally figured out where they were coming in and plugged up that hole. No rats after that.
Woodrowfan
@JCJ:
That was “bug” for “DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK??!!”
Mike in NC
@JR in WV: I recall a rather mild-mannered instructor back at SWOS in San Diego. He had previously been stationed in Pascagoula, MS. One day the subject of palmetto bugs came up. He very loudly jumped into the conversation by saying, “Palmetto bugs, my ass! They’re fucking cockroaches, and they’re this big!” (Holding a thumb and forefinger about three inches apart.)
Woodrowfan
I used to see grasshoppers all the time as a kid in SW Ohio. They were all over the place. I don’t remember the last time I saw one here in northern Va.
sparrow
oooh, open thread? This is way down on a long thread but I need to have a nice bitch about my officemate. We don’t particularly get on all that well, as she is very very chatty and gossipy and I’m not. She’s also kind of insecure and is always saying things like “Ugh, I’m so stupid! I wish I was smart like you!” which I find kind of odd, because we don’t work on any projects together so she really has no idea how “smart” I am, and it just seems like a desperate beg for compliments. I try to stick to polite responses to her questions/comments and then, you know, get back to work.
Anyway, it’s a bit awkward because there are only 4 of us in our office. Apparently Miss Insecurity is planning something this weekend though, because she keeps talking about it to the other two people, I guess so I really get the point that I’m not invited. It’s kind of ridiculous to care, I know! But I guess I’m just a bit offended that she feels like she really wants to go out of her way to be rude to me. Bleh. Been a crappy week and I just want to go HOME.
Trollhattan
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
Have done chunks of the JMT but not the whole thing, much less a thru-hike.
Here’s a discussion group to join where you can learn about planning, logistics (including transportation and resupply), current conditions, trail logs and the like. Highly recommended.
Your mileage goal is very aggressive; but can be done by the super-fit. You probably know about the elevation gain/loss and the fact that the air is damn thin for a sea-level dweller like myself. Takes me three, four days to adjust in the high country. You’ll also want an ultralite kit, everything from pack to shelter to bag to kitchen needs to be the lightest possible for ultramiling.
My caution about fall is the short days and the liklihood of a lot of walking by headlamp either in the morning, after sunset, or both as well as camping in the dark. Fall is beautiful, though, and the crowds and bugs are gone.
Waynski
@Gravenstone: He’s considered one of the best opposite field hitters in the game – ranked number one on this link:
bleacherreport.com/articles/994821-ranking-the-best-opposite-field-hitters-in-mlb/page/9
Also, the chances of the O’s taking home field advantage from the Angels are infinitesimal.
Trollhattan
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
Am having a FYWP moment, and do not know my sin. Maybe it’s the Yahoo link?
Have done chunks of the JMT but not the whole thing, much less a thru-hike.
Here’s [imagine a link to a Yahoo John Muir Trail discussion group here, then go find it] a discussion group to join where you can learn about planning, logistics (including transportation and resupply), current conditions, trail logs and the like. Highly recommended.
Your mileage goal is very aggressive; but can be done by the super-fit. You probably know about the elevation gain/loss and the fact that the air is damn thin for a sea-level dweller like myself. Takes me three, four days to adjust in the high country. You’ll also want an ultralite kit, everything from pack to shelter to sleep system to kitchen needs to be the lightest possible for ultramiling.
My caution about fall is the short days and the liklihood of a lot of walking by headlamp either in the morning, after sunset, or both as well as camping in the dark. Fall is beautiful, though, and the crowds and bugs are gone.
Trollhattan
Help, am in moderation for the sin of…I don’t know my sin, father. “Yahoo?”
Violet
@sparrow:
1. Count your blessings you’re not invited to this event so you don’t have to figure out how to get out of going.
2. She feels threatened by you, which is why she keeps talking about how “smart” you are. If there’s a way to ask her opinion or input on something or let her show her expertise it might defuse the situation. Or not. Something to mull over anyway.
3. She’s not going out of her way to be rude to you. She’s going out of her way to show you her true colors. Consider it a fine reminder of how you don’t want to be.
4. If you’re offended you’re only hurting yourself. Choose not to be offended. Choose to be thrilled you don’t have to come up with an excuse not to go to her event and be happy for the reminder of how not to act in daily life. Being thrilled and happy are much better for you. Go with that.
And have a great weekend!
sparrow
@Violet: All great points! :) I have actually tried to be very nice to her, and done just what you suggested with asking her for help on a couple things. But some people are kind of stuck with themselves so I’m mainly keeping my (polite!) distance.
Speaking of better things to do — it will be a beautiful day tomorrow to visit wineries in VA. I don’t care if the wine is not particularly good, it’s mainly the scenery all the way there and back. :)
EthylEster
@shortstop: Palmetto bugs fly. So you should never turn your back on them. I would have appreciated a pic of the bug, instead of the broom.
Violet
@sparrow:
Trying to be nice doesn’t work with people like that. Either be nice or don’t be nice. Remember the Yoda thing: “There is no try.” Whatever you do, do it honestly. Treat her respectfully but don’t go out of your way to do something in hopes of “getting” her to like you or be nice to you. She won’t and it will fail. She’ll pick up on your energy–that you want her to like you, that you want to be invited to her party, that you’re hurt she hasn’t invited you–and she’ll be all over that like a dog on a bone. Focus on yourself instead. Free up that energy to do what you want to do. She’ll do what she wants to do. Once you’re not spending any energy worrying about her she’ll move on to another target.
The wine trip sounds like a fantastic weekend! Enjoy that! If you can be genuine about it, wish your co-worker well and tell her you hope her event goes well. Or at least wish her a great weekend. Only if you can do it honestly. Tone conveys so much. The energy has to be right. Otherwise, get yourself out the door and you focus on you and your wonderful weekend!
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
@Trollhattan:
Yup. Planning on a sub #20 pack. Also planning on a week of daily rim to rim hikes in Yosemite prior to the JMT to acclimate (*and hang out with the spouse)
Thanks. Not ultra fit yet, but I have a year of not drinking booze between now and then, so I’ll have plenty of time to get there.
ETA: The trip is scheduled around a full moon, so hopefully, weather and fire gods willing, we should be okay.
shortstop
@JR in WV: Try the Green Parrot for music and that 1970s feel, if you go back. I mean, I never went to KW in the 1970s, but you know what I mean. It’s nowhere near gross Duval Street (it’s close to the Truman Annex), and it always has a nice mix of locals and tourists.
Steeplejack
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
Thirty miles a day sounds extremely ambitious. Have you done that before?
Trollhattan
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
Sounds like you’re going in with eyes open, so know what’s required. Should we get a decent winter, there will be more streams running than there are today, which is huge from the standpoint of not having to lug several liters of water. The yahoo JMT site can provide little details like that Here’s another good resource: HighSierraTopix
The Other Chuck
@bemused:
That’s called “resource guarding”, and it’s very atypical for cats to do. Most any cat will let you take their stuff, even their food, without the slightest complaint, they’ll just quietly follow you to wherever you put it down. If it’s a toy, they might grab, bite and claw, but that’s predatory response to fleeing, not resource guarding.
JCT
I don’t love insects to begin with – but palmetto bugs are a whole other level.
Lived in Miami for a year when I was around 9, was hanging out in the sun room with my grandmother having a nice time when out of the corner of my eye I saw something move on the coffee table. It looked like it was as big as an ashtray and apparently I froze and started to whimper. All of a sudden there was a tremendous whoosh by my ear and the zeppelin/palmetto bug was smashed by a book. My grandfather had decided to save us – unfortunately with the book my grandmother had been reading. She made him clean it all off….
OK, I’m sick just thinking about it and it was over 40 years ago, disgusting.
PurpleGirl
@jeffreyw: Now that’s a cuddle puddle. Soooooo Cuuuute. Are they all from one litter? How old are they?
Ruckus
@Steeplejack:
Agreed. 30 a day is a lot in that terrain. And what would be the point? Humping all the damn day long, resting only long enough to do it all over again the next day? 20 a day is plenty although that would add a lot of time that maybe doesn’t exist for this.
seaboogie
Betty – I think you need one of these – and a holster for it: taser.com/products/self-defense-products/taser-c2
Bill Arnold
@shelley:
If they are fruit flies (red eyes; magnifying glass and see google images), then you have to be ruthless about removing any moist organics in the house (excepting people and pets), and then patient. This page looks like what my wife and I did to get rid of them (though we figured out most of it ourselves).
The Pale Scot
Well I’m real late to the party, Betty maybe you can convince a Recluse Spider to guard your door.
Seriously, I have one that after a year of trying finally got inside, late one night I saw it walking down the hall to the storage room. Could not find it the next morning. A week later I saw it walking back down the hall to the kitchen door where I realized I had not replaced the the threshold I removed to clean the grime around it. The bugger was able to slide underneath the door and just walked out.
It occurred to me that with the threshold gone bugs of all kinds should have been coming in, but I haven’t seen any, not one. I haven’t put the threshold back, it’s been 3 weeks, there’s been only one invasion, by a palmetto that looked all fucked up, wings askew and staggering like a drunkard. So now I’m thinking that bugger is outside my door using it as bait. No roaches in 3 rainy weeks? I think I like this spider.
The Pale Scot
PS, I’ve already mentioned the Electric Fly Swatter, you can just drop it on top of the fucker. There’s a couple of small sparks and it’s over.
I accidentally touched the mesh, the shock was surprising for only two D batteries.
Tehanu
We moved into a lovely 90-year-old duplex here in LA and for the first time in 60 years of living in California, I became acquainted with what I have been told are Chinese water beetles. I maintain that they are giant cockroaches. One night I looked down and one was crawling on my leg. I screamed and Hubby Dearest came and killed it, but afterwards I realized that its little feet hadn’t really felt horrible … but I still scream every time I see one.
Paul in KY
@Original Lee: Black widow spiders are generally quite small.