Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

No Justins, No Peace

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

DeSantis transforms Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

We still have time to mess this up!

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

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Reader Interactions

53Comments

  2. 2.

    scav

    You better keep eating those shellfish and building higher if you want to keep ahead, peoples.

  3. 3.

    JPL

    A few decades back we traveled across that bridge and my now ex had a panic attack. He decided that the best approach was to start backing up while we were in the left lane. I was in the back seat with a son and another son was in the front seat. I could see sweat pouring down the face of him. All I remember is talking in my best baby voice ever, about just staring at the roof of the car and moving forward. Several years ago a son asked me what bridge we were on when I was so sweet to dad. I answered truthfully and said you mean the bridge dad almost killed us on. haha After that I developed an appreciation for panic attacks, so that’s good. I still hate that bridge though.

  4. 4.

    Roger Moore

    @Betty Cracker:

    It’s called Mount Cockroach. I swayer!

    Shouldn’t that be “Mount Palmetto Bug”? And, FWIW, I can get in more elevation change without leaving my street than you can in your whole damn state.

  5. 5.

    Betty Cracker

    @JPL: Did your ex know that a freighter once ran into that bridge in a storm and knocked it down? And that several vehicles went into the abyss, including a Greyhound bus?

  6. 6.

    raven

    I had friends that had a place at New Smyrna Beach, close to this:

    Turtle Mound – Pile o’ Shells
    Standing roughly fifty feet tall, Turtle Mound is one of the largest shell middens on the Florida coast. In prehistoric times, it was at least seventy-five feet high. It is made up predominantly of oyster shells — the remains of a prehistoric civilization that existed five to six centuries before European contact. The mound was used by both later Indian groups and Spanish explorers as a lookout and navigational landmark during the 18th century. On September 29, 1970, it was added to the U.S. National Register of Historic

  8. 8.

    JPL

    @Betty Cracker: No. From then on he was afraid of heights. It triggered something but I was really sweet and talking like you would to a panicked two year old. It was awful. He did thank me recently though because he was in the same position and somehow I gave him skills to overcome it.
    Once again it was awful. Funny though because one son remembers mom saving our ass and the other how sweet I was.

  9. 9.

    PsiFighter37

    Anyone else paying attention to the SD Senate race? I thought it was a goner for sure, but Rounds is tanking and both Pressler and Weiland are within striking distance. If either of them wins, that’s effectively a Democratic hold – crazy, given that that is a seat we’d basically conceded.

    South Dakota and Kansas – who woulda thunk those two states might save our bacon? And it seems like Nunn is making a bit of a push in Georgia, too…

  12. 12.

    PsiFighter37

    @JPL: Actually, I think the libertarian takes from both and increases the chance of a runoff – would rather see if Nunn can take a straight shot at it outright.

    The polls seem to be coming around for the Dems a bit – Iowa is already coming back to Braley, and I have faith that if push comes to shove, Landrieu will come through in the runoff.

    Should be interesting times in the Senate, especially if there are 4 independents there come January…

  13. 13.

    Mike in NC

    @PsiFighter37: The idiots at the US Chamber of Commerce are running an anti-Hagan ad that basically says “ISIS is coming to get you!”. Any gullible moron that falls for that was already going to vote Republican.

  15. 15.

    OldDave

    @Betty Cracker: I was going to mention that the bridge JPL and crew drove over might be the current bridge’s predecessor, but holy cow, the ‘Summit Venture Disaster’ was in 1980. I just didn’t think it was that long ago. Time flies, fun or not.

  16. 16.

    WereBear

    @Roger Moore: I can get in more elevation change without leaving my street than you can in your whole damn state.

    See ya and raise ya: my driveway has more elevation than the whole state of Florida.

    In other news, if anyone has tried to get to my blog and failed: sorry about that. I’ve got people working on it.

    If you can help, please donate because it seems we need a new server.

    Update:

    Well, looks like things are WORSE than I thought… if you have PayPal I’m at:

    forthecats AT wayofcats DOT com

    What a week it has been. The kitties will appreciate any shekels you can provide.

  17. 17.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    So that’s the only part of your county that will be sticking up above sea level by 2100, huh? Better start fortifying it for occupation now.

  19. 19.

    Gin & Tonic

    @OldDave: It actually is the current bridge’s predecessor. After the Summit Venture they eventually demolished the old bridge, and just left the approach sections as fishing piers from both sides.

  20. 20.

    Roger Moore

    @PsiFighter37:

    South Dakota and Kansas – who woulda thunk those two states might save our bacon? And it seems like Nunn is making a bit of a push in Georgia, too…

    This is something optimistic people were talking about quite a while ago. We thought there was a good chance that the Republicans would manage to blow winnable elections by being too crazy. The fundamentals are the most important factor in any election, but a truly bad candidate can lose even a winnable election.

  21. 21.

    carlweese

    I’m a lurker, hardly read comments, but this post makes me think you must be close to Ruskin, FL, where I spent a delightful artist-in-residence at the Fire House Cultural Center two years ago. Several of your shots have made me think you are near there. Anyway, sorry not to have met up when I was there. I love your posts on the front page.

  22. 22.

    PsiFighter37

    @Roger Moore: Well, to be fair, it’s more because Rounds might’ve been corrupt and Roberts is a lazy, inept fool – they aren’t even the craziest of the GOP nominees running…

  23. 23.

    tybee

    @Trollhattan:

    well, guess i better eat them all before they are killed by the acidification of the seas

    i’ll make the sacrifice. no need to thank me. just send horseradish and hot sauce.

  24. 24.

    Mnemosyne

    I suppose that if we’re going to be moving, I should start packing my shit, huh?

    Also, too, my shrink got us a consultation with a professional organizer to take a look at the new place before we move in and make some organizational suggestions. I think of it as an anti-divorce vaccination. I sometimes find it difficult to live with someone who has ADHD and I’m the someone who has it.

  26. 26.

    PaulW

    @Roger Moore:

    I hate to sound like a mid-Atlantic transplant but why are cockroaches called palmetto bugs? I’ve lived in Florida since 1977 and my family’s always called em cockroaches.

  27. 27.

    tybee

    @PaulW:

    palmetto bug is the polite description for “the biggest fuckin’ cockroach you ever saw” and that doesn’t scare off the yanqi swamp land buyers as much as the BFCYES description does.

  30. 30.

    PurpleGirl

    @Mnemosyne: When I visited L.A. in 1976 and stayed with friends in Northridge, I could not get used to calling the ridges I saw mountains. There were no trees on these mountains. How the hell can you have treeless mountains. (NYS born and raised and used to the mountains here, such as Bear Mountains, the Hudson Valley, the Catskills, and yes, farther upstate for Saranac Lake area, Lake Placid area, etc.)

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    @WereBear:

    West Coasters like to tell me how tiny our mountains are… but that’s only because ours are so much older they are.

    FTFY. Most of the stuff you call mountains are glorified hills. They used to be mountains a long time ago, but they’ve been worn down to nubbins. As I like to say, we’ll let you Easterners call your things mountains if you let us call ours rivers.

    The San Gabriels are rugged as anything- John McPhee describes them as being the most rugged terrain in the lower 48- and they’re right outside town. It’s a bit under 9 miles from my front door to the top of Mt. Wilson, which Mnemosyne mentioned, and that’s by foot. It’s about half that as the crow flies, but ignoring the approximately 1 mile vertical difference.

  35. 35.

    satby

    @JPL: My mom was always a basket case driving on the Dan Ryan expressway after it was first built (“it’s a deathtrap” I believe her exact words were as she white-knuckled her way home). She moved to Florida 12 years ago, at 72, and developed a real leadfoot, love of expressway driving; and especially, a love of the Sunshine Skyway bridge. At 84, she still loves driving over it.

  38. 38.

    WereBear

    @satby: Florida has roads that are straight as a string and flat as a pancake for miles and miles.

    As long as the gators stay off the roads, anyone could drive them.

  39. 39.

    mclaren

    Looks like Carcosa from the HBO series TRUE DETECTIVE STORIES.

    You need to live somewhere else.

  41. 41.

    Roger Moore

    @PurpleGirl:

    How the hell can you have treeless mountains.

    It’s desert, that’s how. Trees around here tend to be restricted to the occasional stream bed and where there are people to water them. There’s a bit more precipitation when you get to higher elevations, so the taller mountains have trees, but they’re pretty chancy below about 3000-4000 feet.

  43. 43.

    Roger Moore

    @WereBear:

    It’s my understanding that to “climb” a mountain in the Rockies, a westcoaster starts about halfway up…

    And still has more climbing to do than they would back East.

  46. 46.

    Roger Moore

    @WereBear:

    We do have Mount Marcy.

    Which is shorter than Mt. Wilson and starts the climb from much higher up. Apparently people out West aren’t the only ones who start their hikes from halfway up the mountain.

  53. 53.

    LAllen

    I went over the old bridge as a youngster. The bus that went over was a charter from a university in Alabama, Tuskegee I think. In the 80s I took my family over the new one, southbound. I drove back around the bay through Apollo Beach rather do it it again.

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