Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Come on, man.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

We still have time to mess this up!

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Supreme Court Should Go to the Dogs

Supreme Court Should Go to the Dogs

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John Oliver is right. If, instead of dialog illustrated by static courtroom sketches, Supreme Court arguments were reenacted by dogs, everyone would watch them in full, at least at first:

I’m not sure I would have cast a boxer as Justice Kennedy; he seems more like a Dalmatian to me, but that’s a minor quibble. Possibly the Justices could be represented by a new species every year.

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    schrodinger's cat

    They should be represented by cats, Grumpy Cat could be the Chief Justice, I also nominate Maru and Shiro Neko.

    ETA: On second thoughts, SC should be represented by both kittehs and doggies to be truly bipartisan. Beatific seal dog can serve on SC too.

  3. 3.

    MattF

    The Supremes make their own rules. And, by the way, if you decide you want to demonstrate on the steps of the Supreme Courthouse, guess again.

  5. 5.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    Maybe J and I were just in the right mood, but we thought that segment was just about the funniest thing we’ve seen on TV in a very, very long time.

    Well done J.O.!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    OT, but Ebola ridiculousness just jumped the shark:

    A teacher suspended for 21 days merely for traveling to Dallas for a school conference. Merely being in the city of Dallas earned her the scarlet Ebola letter.

    Unfukinreal. Of course, it’s paid leave, and he/she’s not quarantined, so hopefully he/she’s treating this like a 3 week paid vacation.

  7. 7.

    kindness

    Saw the piece last night and laughed hard. I can’t wait to see what other people do with this.

  10. 10.

    Corner Stone

    And I, for one, am very happy Nurse Vinson has hired an attorney. Not that I, myself, am litigious, but it would be interesting to see some pushback on the stupid, control freak-minded, craven idiots, blowing their trumpets on this.

  11. 11.

    gene108

    @Punchy:

    A teacher suspended for 21 days merely for traveling to Dallas for a school conference. Merely being in the city of Dallas earned her the scarlet Ebola letter.

    The only way to be safe is to nuke it from orbit…yeah…I mean Dallas…

    I can’t wait till Ebola panic gets to that stage, where we wall off Dallas from the rest of the country.

  13. 13.

    srv

    Douchebag: The White Racial Slur We’ve All Been Waiting For

    You dudebros need to get your upnerd on.

    Do we really need a white racial slur? Is the vision of equality that we should aspire towards a world without the N-word or Douchebag? Maybe. Maybe it is. But as everyone who is not colorblind can plainly see, this is not yet that day.

    For the time being, this is the vernacular critique of whiteness that we’ve always needed, and its been right before our eyes all along. The term douchebag, again used as we already use it, has the power to name white ruling class power and white sexist privilege as noxious, selfish, toxic, foolish and above all, dangerous.

    Since the coming of colorblindness as the official ideology of neoliberal racism, we have needed a precise term with which to recognize and ridicule white privilege when we see it. So we should sharpen our critical swords and wield this insult with a new rapier like awareness, and thereby give the racists, the conservatives, and the 1% something they are always imagining anyways: reverse discrimination.

  14. 14.

    Corner Stone

    @MattF: If the stupid is transmitted by osmosis then there’s no hope for this country.
    Personally, I see someone like Marsha Blackburn on TV and wonder what would happen in a to-the-death stupid-off contest between her and a round robin of her fellow R congresspeople.

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Punchy: To give the Stupid some both-sdes fred, Tulsi Gabbard has called for the quarantine time to doubled. I managed to not bang my head on the steering wheel when I heard that.

    I can’t believe how far gone our fucking USSC is, and how little discussion of it there seems to be in the mid-term campaigns. Not match talk about it really, in ’08 or 2012. I think it’s always on the minds of the motivated minorities in both sides, and theirs is bigger than ours, but I don’t remember a time since ’92– Post-Thomas– that the composition of the Court got a lot of discussion. I just can’t believe people aren’t talking more about Hobby Lobby and CU.

  19. 19.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Punchy: Also, too, apparently there was a school group from Moore OK on the notEbola cruise. The superintendent of schools has ordered school employees on the cruise to stay home, and is asking parents to keep students at home.

    Again, the med worker in question has been tested and cleared. S/he did not bring ebola on the cruise

  21. 21.

    Betty Cracker

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: CNN’s headline right now is, “Ebola hysteria: An epic, epidemic overreaction.” That’s like the Jimmy Dean sausage company scolding Americans for consuming too many fatty foods.

  25. 25.

    scav

    a) the John Oliver and team’s full ten minutes makes for surprisingly compelling watching, as is. (I’ll admit to worrying it rather goes too far in humanizing a few of the justices though).

    b) The Ignorance is Bliss crowd is beginning to become a traffic jam (not just stop and go rubber-neck worthy of a giggle status) and the horses are seriously going to need PTSD therapy.

  26. 26.

    Dexter

    @pamelabrown53: I saw the same Malaware warning from Avast but not from the front page. The warning popped when I opened an open thread but later posts did not show that warning.

  28. 28.

    raven

    In Athens GA early voting is great. They have been jammed since they opened at 8 am and I waited about 30 minutes.

  30. 30.

    jl

    Slugs would more or less sit still, or move so slowly it wouldn’t make any difference. They would work for some of the court.

  32. 32.

    d58826

    OT but the Ebola Czar will not appear on bended knee before the House drones on Friday. I’m sure this is the next freakout by the GOOPERS

  33. 33.

    Mike J

    @Dexter:

    I saw the same Malaware warning from Avast but not from the front page. The warning popped when I opened an open thread but later posts did not show that warning.

    Probably malware javascript in an ad.

  34. 34.

    Mike J

    Nick Clegg thinks that to only the government, but *anybody* should be allowed to break the law to spy on you, provided they do it in the “public interest.”

    Journalists should be able to rely on a public interest defence if they break some laws relating to computer misuse, data protection and bribery, Nick Clegg has said.

    http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/oct/20/journalists-public-interest-defence-law-nick-clegg

    The lib dems are the party of people who recognize that the Conservatives are evil, but don’t think it’s cool to vote Labour.

  35. 35.

    Pee Cee

    @Punchy:

    Unfukinreal. Of course, it’s paid leave, and he/she’s not quarantined, so hopefully he/she’s treating this like a 3 week paid vacation.

    Suddenly, a ton of conferences get moved to Dallas …

  36. 36.

    Pee Cee

    @gene108:

    I can’t wait till Ebola panic gets to that stage, where we wall off Dallas from the rest of the country.

    I could kinda get behind the ideal of a border fence around Texas.

  39. 39.

    Joel Hanes

    dogs

    Scalia and Thomas re-enactors should be suidae, more for their opinions than for their physiques.

    Alito should be played by a small non-otter mustelid.

    Kennedy by whichever animal is most afraid of its own shadow and acts least consistently.

    Roberts has always seemed to me vulpine, like the characters from Aesop and Joel Chandler Harris.

  42. 42.

    Elizabelle

    @Punchy:

    From your link:

    Parents in Maine demanded that teacher be removed from school after she traveled to Dallas, even though she had no contact with anyone associated with the Ebola outbreak. WCSH’s Vivien Leigh reports.

    NBC News has 657 stories up about “Ebola in West Africa”, although I’d suspect the majority are from when Ebola reached these shores.

  43. 43.

    burnspbesq

    @raven:

    In Athens GA early voting is great. They have been jammed since they opened at 8 am and I waited about 30 minutes.

    Unlike fear of Ebola, fear of Hice is entirely rational, and people are responding appropriately.

  44. 44.

    catclub

    @Elizabelle: I really wish the Superintendent would ask them to pay for leave for the teacher, and substitutes. A tax on stupid people.

    Plus I thought Vivien Leigh was great in Gone With The Wind. How does she look 75 years later?

  48. 48.

    gelfling545

    @Elizabelle: I wonder how many of those people with their finger jammed on the panic button have had their flu shots for this year. You know, protection from a disease with which they are actually likely to be in contact.

  49. 49.

    Mnemosyne

    @gelfling545:

    Not only that, but the flu is a disease that kills on average 30,000 people every year in the United States. But, no, what we really need to do is freak out about the one (1) ebola death that happened in the US.

  50. 50.

    kc

    @srv:

    For the time being, this is the vernacular critique of whiteness that we’ve always needed

    “Vernacular critique?” Sadly, I don’t even think the man who wrote that shit even had his tongue in cheek.

    Anyway, why couldn’t that dumbfuck have come up with a non-gender-shaming insult?

  51. 51.

    Elizabelle

    @gelfling545:

    Yeah, no flu shots and they’re riding around without seat belts. On cell phones.

    Because they don’t want the government telling them what to do.

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