Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

No one could have predicted…

This really is a full service blog.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Let’s finish the job.

Bark louder, little dog.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Let there be snark.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

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Reader Interactions

144Comments

  2. 2.

    Violet

    Found out some broccoli in my garden is ready to be eaten, so will pick that. Have some shrimp to stir fry. Probably brown rice. Easy dinner because half of the sink in the kitchen is leaking. Ugh. Project for Saturday.

  3. 3.

    Baud

    Eating pizza and listening to lounge music in a hotel bar in a strange city. Just another Friday night in the life of Baud.

  4. 4.

    Bex

    Reading Charlie Pierce’s post about a proposed ballot measure in Mississippi that would require the singing of Dixie after the national anthem at public occasions. Wondering why they just didn’t go for it and mandate the Horst Wessel song.

  6. 6.

    Violet

    @efgoldman: I really loved the Gong Show as a kid. It was so dumb but it made me laugh. I think I must have watched it in syndication. It was one of those after school things.

  7. 7.

    JGabriel

    Betty Cracker @ Top:

    We’re eating Chinese take-out and watching “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” in which 70s game show producer Chuck Barris is secretly a hit man for the CIA. You?

    Yes, I’m secretly a hit man for the CIA too. Please don’t tell anyone else on the internet.

  9. 9.

    Poopyman

    @beltane: I would never tire of pointing out that it’s the song of traitors who owed their lives to the mercy of the Federal post-war govt.

  10. 10.

    Phylllis

    Home after the first half of the high school football game. Our side was up by 35 when we left. Contemplating a cup of hot tea to help me thaw out.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    @Poopyman: The treatment they received was incredibly lenient compared to similar rebellions elsewhere. It could be argued that the lenient treatment resulted in the rebellion not being snuffed out as thoroughly as it should have been.

  13. 13.

    Iowa Old Lady

    @Violet: Had the plumber in today to fix the leak in my kitchen sink. It’s amazing when something is fixed.

    I’m reading. It’s the time of year when a lot of good new books come out. And Mr IOL is out playing bridge and I am unable to turn on our TV by myself.

  14. 14.

    satby

    @KG: the war of Treason in Defense of Slavery (hat tip to LGM). I started referring to it that way and the “flag of treason” when referencing the Stars and Bars always gets the proponents riled up too.

  15. 15.

    Felonius Monk

    The Rude Pundit has an interesting take on Tuesday’s festivities.

    The Rude Pundit has said before, and he’ll say again and again: We have to stop acting like the visiting team in our own country.

    Read the whole thing here.

  16. 16.

    satby

    Deciding whether to watch another Morse mystery or to keep wasting time on the internet. But liking the quiet and softly snoring dogs too much to turn on the tube.

  17. 17.

    namekarB

    I dunno. The whole Chinese take-out thing is worrisome. America sends frozen chicken to China that is then processed and sent back to America. Gives a whole new perspective on Chinese take-out.

  18. 18.

    beltane

    @Felonius Monk: That is an awesome quote. Really, the guy with the Confederate flag and gun rack on his pickup is no more or less authentically American than anyone else. We really need to stop lionizing these people and reclaim our country for all Americans.

  20. 20.

    Rob

    Driving home after all day meetings, I saw two different Red-tailed Hawks. One was high in the sky but the other flew across the road just above the 60+ foot high treetops.

    Right now we’re listening to Fripp and Eno, or were, streaming on WFMU.org. The dj just put on something rather different.

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    What…let me guess…Chuck gongs his targets to their demise?

    Suitable treatment for The Unknown Comic, to be sure….

  22. 22.

    scav

    Over and beyond the fetishized Southern Traitors, those Economically Rational men they always keep going on and on about and idolize would likewise sell out their country (Northern, Southern, Eastern or Western) in a logical self-benefitting minute so long the price was right.

  23. 23.

    lamh36

    Woo. Hello from hot as hell Honolulu.

    Today’s tour started at 6 30am and ended at about 230pm. The tour of the island was longer, but the majority of the circle island tour was on the bus and with scenic sites. Today’s tour of the Pearl Harbor sites was mostly on the boats and on the memorial site. So it was ALL sun beaming down on top of us. Felt like I lost 30 lbs from sweating alone! But it was a good day. Got to visit the “Mighty Mo” and the US Arizona memorial and Punchbowl National Cemetery.

    No assholes on this tour but maybe cause a majority of the tour were from Australia.

    I have but been updating the blog while here in Hawaii. I’ve been way too busy, either touring or walking the beach or just napping from heat exhaustion. I mean it’s hot in NOLA but we got the humidity to sorta protect us. No such problem here. Woo.

    Any good pics from USS Missouri. ..

    https://twitter.com/psddluva4evah/status/530900720669966336

  24. 24.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @satby: Agree…flag of treason and slavery and racism. Actively and openly adopted by segregationists in the 50’s and 60’s.

    My reform of the country would include the destruction of the effigies on Stone Mountain, GA. Four outright traitors and men who willingly served an utterly immoral social order.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Bex: If you’re going to go there, go there all the way, I say.

    Death by vivisection is really far too humane for these assclowns.

  28. 28.

    jacy

    Sam Rockwell is always interesting.

    I’m trying to get my kids to take baths so they can go to Pirate Weekend at the Renaissance Fair. Although I suppose if they were grubby they could pass as medieval waifs. The 14-year-old wants to come home with a sword. I think this is probably inadvisable.

    In other news, after his third diverticulitis hospitalization since he left with The Whore, my faithless husband is now set for a colon resection with possible colostomy bag. (He’s only 45.) I can’t decided whether I should feel a twinge of sympathy for him, or just laugh and laugh and laugh. We’re all sure it’s just the hidden guilt eating him from the inside. Or maybe the wheel of Karma is chasing him down already and soon he’ll be as flat as Wile E. Coyote.

  30. 30.

    Roger Moore

    @Bex:

    Reading Charlie Pierce’s post about a proposed ballot measure in Mississippi that would require the singing of Dixie after the national anthem at public occasions.

    Sounds like a great reason to stop singing the National Anthem at public occasions. Even so, I’d think that the ACLU should be willing to take this on as an example of forced speech.

  36. 36.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @lamh36:

    No assholes on this tour but maybe cause a majority of the tour were from Australia

    I am so happy to learn there are no Australian assholes :-)

    Hope you had a wonderful birthday and that your Hawaii trip is everything you wanted and more.

  37. 37.

    jacy

    @beltane:

    When I was a teenager we went to every RenFair (Larkspur, Colorado). Medium son went to the one here when he was like four, and small son has never been – so I hope they’ll have a great time. And I’m sure they will be filthy enough that we’ll have to hose them down before we get in the car to come home.

    Then Sunday we’re going to see Big Hero Six — which the kids already love from just seeing the previews.

  38. 38.

    Living in the carpenter's house

    Trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. Trans Mountain something or other is trying to do survey and pre-drill work on Burnaby Mountain in the greater Vancouver area here in BC for Kinder Morgan. Some of Burnaby Mountain is protected conservation area and apparently TransMountain was cutting down trees and making a mess. Some of Burnaby Mountain is home to Simon Fraser University. A few profs and staff joined other environmentalists protesting in an effort to stop the work. There were some charges (environmentalists are radicals in Canada, did you know?) and today in court Kinder Morgan’s lawyer accused the protestors of assault by facial expression.

  39. 39.

    satby

    I’m rooting for wheel of Karma.
    Also hoping it flattens my ex and my former best friend, who decided to hook up with each other while he was with me.

  40. 40.

    RobertDSC-iPhone 4

    Working at the 2nd job for a few hours tonight. I have to be back here tomorrow for another 8 hours. Sunday will be spent doing housecleaning and potentially finding a new MacBook on Craigslist.

  41. 41.

    jacy

    @JPL:

    That would be very little sympathy. Actually negative sympathy. Perhaps a sense of awe at the wonders of the universe. Or perhaps I will be driving the cartoon steamroller that flattens him like a pancake. (Only in the metaphorical sense. I don’t know where I can get an actual steamroller.)

  42. 42.

    PurpleGirl

    @jacy: First, plan on a super bath for the kids AFTER the Ren Fair.

    Now as to False Husband: A little twinge of sympathy followed by great big belly laughs that Karma is coming round so quickly. Of course he’s so clueless that he’ll never figure it out. Which is also a reason for great big belly laughs.

  43. 43.

    patrick II

    @Betty Cracker:

    That movie premise is one of my favorites mostly because Chuck Barris being a CIA agent was so ridiculous. The movie was based on a book of the same name — Chuck Barris’ “autobiography”. Enough people believed his claims that the CIA had to put out a denial.

    The CIA denies Barris ever worked for them in any capacity. After the release of the movie, CIA spokesman Paul Nowack said Barris’ assertions that he worked for the spy agency “[are] ridiculous. It’s absolutely not true.”

  44. 44.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    BBC: 32 tanks cross from Russia into Ukraine..

    A column of 32 tanks and 30 trucks has crossed into eastern Ukraine from Russia, the Ukrainian government says.

    The trucks were carrying ammunition and fighters, said a military spokesman, but the BBC cannot confirm his report.

    A fragile ceasefire has been in place since 5 September, although hundreds of people have been killed since then.

    More than 4,000 people have died since fighting erupted in April after pro-Russian separatists seized control in the regions of Donetsk and Luhansk.

    The European OSCE monitoring mission has warned that the “bloodletting” is still going on, with numerous incidents of shelling.

    Heavy artillery fire was reported in Donetsk city on Friday, according to the Interfax-Ukraine news agency.

    Fears of a return to full-scale conflict were raised after the separatists held elections on Sunday in defiance of Ukraine’s government and Western countries.

    If the cross-border incursion is confirmed, it will be a further blow to the shaky ceasefire agreed in September, says the BBC’s David Stern in Kiev.

    […]

    It’s still not over, over there.

    :-(

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  45. 45.

    PurpleGirl

    @jacy: WOOT, a steamroller. Yes. Reminds me of the ending of A Fish Called Wanda. Many people didn’t like the ending but I LOVED it. When the character who stutters gets his hands on a steamroller and starts chasing his tormentor…. Wooboy, yes, run him down.

  52. 52.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @lamh36:

    I mean it’s hot in NOLA but we got the humidity to sorta protect us.

    Holy fuck, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read today. Damned near spit my hot toddy (bronchitis homemade med) all over the monitor. Protective humidity!! You should meet my twin, whose favorite weather is NOLA in August.

  53. 53.

    lamh36

    Have you seen the trailer for Selma yet!

    SELMA: Official Trailer: http://t.co/PLPDkEUKy1

    Surprisingly the first big budget big screen film telling of the MLK story. don’t know bout u guys, but the TV version with Paul Winfield, is STILL the go to portrayal in many African American households. Still with big money like Oprah Winfrey producing this, I kinda can’t wait to see it.

  54. 54.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    How can you deny a grown man an arsenal of semi-automatic rifles, grenades, rocket-launchers, field artillery and a Panzer division in the backyard?

    Denying children plastic swords is the first step in taking away our Second Amendment rights!

  55. 55.

    Rob

    @KG #7 “this is why I’ve taken to referring to the Civil War as The War of Southern Treason”

    I think I’ll start doing that too.

  56. 56.

    lamh36

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): LOL. it’s true though…LOL.

    the problem with humidity though is that creates a wet heat, slowly drains you and before you know it, you had a heat stroke or you sit down and feel dehydrated.

    the sun here is just directly on you. let’s just stay ya gotta work to get a suntan here in NOLA even in summer, but Hawaii, soon as the sun gets high enough, you start to bake.

  57. 57.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Morzer: I had real metal swords when I was younger than that.* Look how well I turned out.

    A friend and I made them – and spears and battle axes. Plus, I had a 17th century Spanish rapier replica (It was pointy).

  58. 58.

    JPL

    @lamh36: Thanks for providing a link to the trailer. It’s powerful

    @Rob: but, but, but, it was about States Rights, for those to ignorant to read secession papers.

  62. 62.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I had wooden swords and paper shields*. I think we made surcoats too. It was easier in those days of minimal height and no girth to speak of.

    Alas, where are the snows of yesteryear?

    *Stipulating that you turned out pretty well for a pseudonymous internet blogger.

  63. 63.

    Morzer

    @raven:

    Please, please let Sally Quinn expire of a conniption, followed by Megan McArdle being exposed as Joe Manchin’s even smaller testicle.

  64. 64.

    gene108

    Reading through the Krugman / Singer thread from this morning, I remember hearing / reading a recent prognostication that despite his current low approval ratings Obama, like Harry Truman, will become a consequential President because he will have lasting accomplishments like the PPACA and Dodd-Frank.

    Now that the Republicans are in the Senate and how they have “overreached” at the state level, survived whatever public backlash occurred (and various corruption scandals) and won re-election, I think Republicans at every level of government will work extra hard to dismantle anything President Obama has done, while in office, especially if they maintain control of Congress and win the White House in 2016, thus erasing any chance he has of leaving behind a legacy, as anything he did while in office will be repealed.

    But one President, who I think has an influence after leaving office, who does not make headlines is George W. Bush.

    His tax cuts have sorely reduced the money going into the Federal coffers, thus limiting what the Federal government can invest in and due to the adverse impact letting them expire, as they would have a few years ago, would have had on the 99.9% of the population with a weak economic recovery, they have been extended for what seems like forever. They also have exasperated the increase in income inequality that has been with us, since the 1970’s and is distorting politics today.

    His misadventure in Iraq is one of the main causes of ISIS / ISIL existing and causing a new round of U.S. involvement in the region.

    His record running up of the deficit had reduced what our government is willing to do now.

    His expansion of the surveillance / police state looks to be with us indefinitely, including GITMO staying open until the last prisoner dies of old ate.

    His appointment of John Roberts as Chief Justice has blown away decades of legislative work to limit money in politics, which has greatly skewed the political land scape in favor of Republicans, as right-wing billionaires (and I think by definition, you are not going to get a bleeding heart liberal, who wants to amass such wealth) are more than happy to through what amounts to peanuts for them to get a government that is most favorable to amassing even more wealth.

    There’s probably other stuff that doesn’t get talked about like his Administrations scuttling of any attempt to enforce the Kyoto Protocols, that the Clinton Administration and other global partners hammered out in the 1990’s basically unilaterally killing any coordinated global effort to combat global warming.

    It’s truly scary the damage Bush & Co. did to this country.

    It is scarier that the Republican Party decided Bush, Jr.’s problem was he was too liberal.

    It is the scariest that voters have rewarded Republicans for becoming so extremely conservative.

  67. 67.

    Morzer

    @gene108:

    The voters haven’t rewarded conservatives – their voters just keep on trucking at more or less predictable rates. The problem is that enough people who ought to have known better couldn’t be bothered to show up and, in fairness, the campiagns run by most Democrats gave them very little reason to show up. The story is one of collective fatuous ignorance, cowardice and self-pity sitting on its ass and losing out to a minority of raging racist morons who showed up.

  68. 68.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I think I’ll have the Villon to start with as an amuse-bouche, followed by a good, sturdy Brecht with a fluffy, golden Rossetti* for dessert.

    *Unless you mean Christina, who was by several country miles the best poet in that family. She’s dessert sourced from Goblin Market, plus brandy and Cuban cigars.

  69. 69.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @patrick II:

    CIA spokesman Paul Nowack said Barris’ assertions that he worked for the spy agency “[are] ridiculous. It’s absolutely not true.”

    Of course, that’s what they WOULD say…

    /channeling Alex Jones

  70. 70.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Morzer:

    Unless you mean Christina, who was by several country miles the best poet in that family

    Sure, but she couldn’t paint for shit.

  71. 71.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @efgoldman: I am an uncle. I know my role. I advocate pointy and loud things. I offer access to “inappropriate” TV and movie content. I am the “fun” adult.

  72. 72.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    To be honest, I can’t say I’ve ever thought that much of her brother’s art. Pretty, technically competent – and all bit empty.

    Mind you, he does win the award for creepiest action involving a loved one’s grave.

  73. 73.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Uncles should smile, admire artwork/music/paintings/interpretative dance performances, not deliver wise moral lectures, supply money for Christmas and birthdays and generally exist in another dimension when not performing the above-mentioned essential functions.

  75. 75.

    patrick II

    @efgoldman:
    @Villago Delenda Est:

    That is what I enjoyed about Barris joke — Barris claimed to the end that it was true and some people did not believe the CIA’s denials — but what else could they do? I am sure Alex Jones’ fans were among Barris believers.

  77. 77.

    Mnemosyne

    Since my broken toe is making me walk strangely, it’s triggering calf cramps. Ouch. I’m sitting with a heating pad on my leg when I should be packing for Kauai.

    (See how I sneaked that humblebrag in there? Pretty good, eh?)

  78. 78.

    Morzer

    @Gin & Tonic:

    “Those Russian tanks crossed the border to protect the innocent little Russian bunnies from the Joe-Biden-led oligarchic fascist Kievan Konspiracy!”

  80. 80.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Morzer:

    Uncles should smile, admire artwork/music/paintings/interpretative dance performances, not deliver wise moral lectures, supply money for Christmas and birthdays and generally exist in another dimension when not performing the above-mentioned essential functions.

    I do most of that, but I also think that I have a semi-subversive role to play.

  81. 81.

    Morzer

    @efgoldman:

    “Is YOUR GRANDFATHER a sugar pusher? Call now and turn him in to the NSA(Dietary Division) for a reward of healthy seaweed and granola snacks!”

  88. 88.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Morzer: I have already offered dating advice to my nephew: Don’t date anyone crazier than you are. I don’t think that it is moral advice; it is purely practical, along the lines of “No glove, no love.”

  89. 89.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I always advise making sure that the possible LURVE OBJECT shares no genetic material with Jim Hoft or Megan McArdle.

    At that point, the young uns look in a concerned way at crazy liberal uncle and ask “Who?”

    I find this both endearing and reassuring.

  90. 90.

    Kryptik, A Man Without a Country

    @Felonius Monk:

    Not acting like the visiting team is all well and good, and I assume that it’s more the assholes we have to vote for that act like this than us, the rank-and-file that vote and donate to their campaigns and etc.

    But how much good does it do when, as described in the same damn piece, we’re already treated like the visiting team? By enough of the electorate, despite them agreeing with us on the actual issues? How the fuck do you change it when the entire rest of the fucking country already treats you like you may as well be a damn leper and will only take your ideas when they get to vote on them separately, and publicly shit on said ideas the moment it’s attached to anyone with a D by their name?

  91. 91.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Morzer: What if they say, “But she is so tall and makes such a good bechamel?” What then? You are playing with fire.

  95. 95.

    NotMax

    @Mnemosyne

    As it is a long flight and you won’t be able to elevate or ice the toe, would humbly suggest you get up and walk a bit a couple of times during the flight in order to get the circulation going.

  97. 97.

    Tehanu

    @efgoldman:
    It’s probably not true, but it’s a great story and a great movie, one of my very favorites. If I ever get to meet George Clooney, after I wipe the spittle off my own face and the bright red blush fades, I’m going to tell him what a terrific job he did directing it.

    @Bex:
    “Dixie” and “Horst Wessel” — now I have an image in my head of Lester Maddox wearing uberalls….

    @Morzer:
    Tim Powers’ last book was about the Rossettis being involved with vampires — er, I think it was vampires; might have been zombies; I really hated it so I’ve tried not to remember. I usually love his books but I hate Victorians and squalor and horror.

  99. 99.

    Morzer

    @Tehanu:

    I remember that book as not being one of the vintage Powers performances. I still think Declare, followed by The Anubis Gates, would be my “best of” selections. I thought Declare really was quite brilliantly done in the way it filled in the gaps in history.

  102. 102.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Perhaps I should have said they were dead for me….

    Is this thing on? Can anyone hear me? This is not a drill! You can unlock the cell door now….

  106. 106.

    Violet

    @lamh36: They interviewed Oprah on Entertainment Tonight last night and showed the trailer. I happened to have the TV on and saw that bit. The movie looks good. Whoever it is playing MLK looks so much like him!

  108. 108.

    Howard Beale IV

    @gene108:

    will become a consequential President because he will have lasting accomplishments like the PPACA and Dodd-Frank.

    Gag me with a wooden spoon.

  110. 110.

    Morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    When you consider how hard some of the supposed left have worked to deny Obama any credit for anything, it’s mildly miraculous that we have as much as a single Senator left.

  111. 111.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Morzer: I sure as hell am. I encourage the sword however. He’s 14 and has a fucked up family life since his dad’s a scumball; so let the kiddo have the sword.

  112. 112.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Howard Beale IV: He hasn’t been perfect? OMFG! Golly, every other president ever has accomplished everything he sought to do. Jesus fuck, the man has done as well as current American politics allow.

  113. 113.

    Violet

    @Omnes Omnibus: All kids should have swords. But this:

    I have already offered dating advice to my nephew: Don’t date anyone crazier than you are. I don’t think that it is moral advice; it is purely practical, along the lines of “No glove, no love.”

    No. Dating crazy is part of how you learn. And it can be fun. Don’t waste too much time with them though.

  114. 114.

    lamh36

    I’m probably late as usual, but this Friday the 13th prank, made me LMAO. Really it’s the first one that did it.

    watch it and tell me ole dude didn’t push his GF off the pier trying to get away and then fellas tell me y’all wouldn’t do the exact same thing?

    http://youtu.be/6m4isWlUlRE

  117. 117.

    Morzer

    @Violet:

    Dating crazy is part of how you learn.

    Rule 1: Never let them tie you to the bed, especially when large sharp knives are involved.

    Rule 2: Always follow rule 1.

    Rule 3: Self-confessed conservatives should be tied to the bed and large, sharp knives should definitely be involved.

  118. 118.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Violet: Oh, he and his sister will both date the Crazy. But my point is good, and it will sink in later. Both of the kids are too sane and decent. Everyone is less sane than they seem to be.

    ETA: My advice isn’t necessarily to be follow now, but rather reflected upon later.

    ETAA: I have seldom followed the don’t date the crazier advice. I have enjoyed my life. OTOH, the nephew and niece are more risk averse than I am.

  119. 119.

    Steeplejack

    Dog patrol again at Sighthound Hall. Had chicken noodle soup and pumpernickel bread for dinner, now nursing a glass of red plonk. Paused in the middle of a mini-binge of Grimm. Knew I had to watch last week’s episode before the one tonight, but when I started to watch the former I didn’t remember some things, so I went back and watched the episode before that. Had the vague memory that I had seen it, but while multitasking or being interrupted, hence loss of detail. Now back on track with last week’s episode and have to say the new season has started off nicely.

    Also have to say that the sighthound under my care, Kitty, is the sweetest of her breed I’ve ever seen (bro’ man has had a steady string over the last 20 years), and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grumbly greyhound. (By the way, get it—a dog named Kitty?! When he named her, at my strong urging, bro’ man and I thought it was hilarious, but nobody ever makes the connection. So we just say it’s short for Kathleen.) She lets me know politely but clearly when she wants to go out, she doesn’t beg for food excessively, although she’s always alert for spillage or something from the treat cabinet, and she follows me attentively from room to room. She loves Uncle Steep. (See above, treats.) She even waits politely and pretends like she’s going to sleep on her dog bed in the bedroom until I tell her she can get on the human bed. Although usually it goes: “Okay, you can get on—”zoom!—“the bed.” But the proprieties are observed.

    She also made the fastest transition from track life to the good life of any greyhound I have seen. When bro’ man got her two or three years ago, she was about 2½ years old and just weeks off some track down South. She was very nervous and skittish (a lot of them are, because they have had very little human contact other than being fed and handled for racing), and she didn’t understand the concept of stairs. Took a few days to get her to the point where she would go up and down the staircase without having to flop on the landing to decompress for an hour or so. In fact, for a while the landing was her safe spot outside her crate.

    Now she’s living the luxurious life, and she loves it. She’s friendly with everyone who comes over, and she particularly loves to work a big party, circulating around the room and leaning against people’s legs with her full 65 pounds until she gets some scritching.

    She’s even making the effort to stay up late with me—much later than her usual routine with bro’ man and the hubster. Right now she’s dozing on the living room couch. She thinks of herself as a teacup greyhound, so she’s only taking up a third of the couch. Unfortunately, it’s the third in the middle, but whatever.

    I just realized I should send in a picture of Kitty for the calendar. When’s the deadline?

  120. 120.

    burnspbesq

    @Morzer:

    Might have been the Joisey Biplanes.

    There will be at least one playoff game in East Rutherford this year. Becton Regional has clinched the number three seed in the North Section 1, Group 1 bracket, and opens at home against Bogota. Go Wildcats!

  121. 121.

    Mnemosyne

    @NotMax:

    Good idea! Don’t tell the FAA, but I’m sitting in the exit row. I actually feel pretty confident of my ability to do the lifting/opening part in an emergency. I just wouldn’t be able to walk away from the plane very quickly. Though given the adrenaline rush I’d probably have, I might be able to run faster than I think.

  122. 122.

    Violet

    @Morzer: Does Rule 1 only apply when you’re dating crazy people?

    @Omnes Omnibus: I think it depends on your definition of “dating”. If it’s a longer relationship where you’re really involved then yeah, crazy is exhausting and not really a good idea. If it’s a short term thing and/or not a serious relationship it can be great fun. Unless it sends you down a dangerous path where things get into illegal territory.

  125. 125.

    Steeplejack

    @Mnemosyne:

    Well, going to Hawaii, you’ll be swimming away from the plane, so there’s that. (In the unlikely event that anyone survives the “landing.”)

  126. 126.

    Violet

    @Mnemosyne: The last time I sat in an exit row, sometime within the last year or so, the flight attendant came around and asked us if we were okay with opening/lifting the door and other tasks. I don’t remember them doing that before so I don’t know if that’s new.

  127. 127.

    Morzer

    Speaking of the crazy:

    A New York pastor has warned that Starbucks coffees are flavoured with the “semen of sodomites”.

    Coffee chain Starbucks recently launched a new ad campaign featuring two well-known drag artists – American Idol star Adore Delano and RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Bianca Del Rio.

    Pastor James David Manning, of the ATLAH World Missionary Church in Harlem, claimed last week that Starbucks was “ground zero” for Ebola, which is being spread by “upscale sodomites”.

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/05/nyc-pastor-starbucks-is-flavoured-with-the-semen-of-sodomites/

    I am trying to work out whether under today’s Queensberry Rules I fall into the upscale Ebola sodomite category, or whether, like Oscar Wilde, I am just posing as one.

  128. 128.

    Morzer

    @Violet:

    In brief, no. Proceed on the assumption that even the most ostensibly sane of people are secretly deranged, salivating maniacs.

  130. 130.

    Mnemosyne

    @Steeplejack:

    Plane crashes are surprisingly survivable these days, though ocean landings are definitely more tricky than your run-of-the-mill runway crash. That’s why I wear cargo pants and keep my phone, ID, and credit card in the pocket. If we crash and survive, I want to be able to call my family and get a hotel room.

  131. 131.

    Mnemosyne

    @Violet:

    Yep, it’s an FAA requirement. I got sat in the exit row in 2012 because the flight attendants discovered that the ticketing agent had booked a bunch of kids (12-14) in the row, which is not allowed by federal rules.

  132. 132.

    Morzer

    @Mnemosyne:

    The airlines look at me funny when I insist on wearing my aqualung and toting a spear-gun.

    Those fascist swine will pay for their crimes when the revolution comes.

  135. 135.

    NotMax

    @Mnemosyne

    Oh gawd. Rap.

    Even worse, little kid rap.

    Hit the Close Window icon in record time when that began.

    And talk about fantasy and impossible suspension of disbelief – airplane seats haven’t had that much legroom since maybe 1937.

  136. 136.

    burnspbesq

    I am shocked to find that the Tony Bennett/Stefani Germanotta album is actually kinda OK. I expected it ti be a total train-wreck. She’ll never be mistaken for Jane Monheit or any other actual jazz singer, but she has some idea what she’s doing. And even at 88, Tony can still bring it.

  140. 140.

    burnspbesq

    ETA: “I Won’t Dance” was a poor choice. Jane Monheit and Michael Buble nailed that one for all eternity.

  142. 142.

    Violet

    @Steeplejack:

    I just realized I should send in a picture of Kitty for the calendar. When’s the deadline?

    New thread above this one for for the Pets of Balloon Juice calendar. Deadline is tomorrow.

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