Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A consequence of cucumbers

Another missed opportunity for Jamie Dimon to just shut the fuck up.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

Found liable for massive fraud, is required to post a massive bond, gets a break, then files a *fraudulent* bond!

People are complicated. Love is not.

T R E 4 5 O N

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Democrats are back in array!

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

We still have time to mess this up!

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

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Reader Interactions

96Comments

  4. 4.

    BGinCHI

    It’s too cold to type or poop.

    But at least I don’t live in Buffalo anymore.

    You poor, poor souls.

  6. 6.

    JPL

    The news is telling me that approval for obamacare is at an all time low. Enrollments are good though.

  7. 7.

    gene108

    There was a thread on Sunday that got into a “discussion” about the relative merits of flu shots, because some people have very bad reactions to the flu vaccine.

    Ironically, I got a flu shot on Sunday and got a bit under the weather yesterday and today. Nothing terribly bad, but I’m not feeling 100% and this sudden cold weather does not help.

    Just an interesting coincidence when real life intersects the ramblings of BJ threads.

  8. 8.

    Dee Loralei

    I made borscht for dinner, not one of my favs, but my father loves it. Am out of sour cream or creme fraiche. Can’t decide whether to make a grilled cheddar and apple w/ curry grilled sandwich, or bacon and cheddar. Any suggestions?

  10. 10.

    Amir Khalid

    @BGinCHI:
    I passed through Buffalo once. I can’t think of anything bad to say about it. I do know that The Cigarette-Smoking Man had it in for the Bills, for some reason.

  16. 16.

    Betty Cracker

    @JPL: I’d love to see how it compares to the average customer satisfaction rate for insurance plans. Everybody hates their fucking insurance, don’t they?

    @Dee Loralei: Why not cheddar, apple, bacon and curry? Sounds delish!

  18. 18.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    I called one of the people I interviewed with two weeks ago (who said at the time that they’d be making a decision in a week). She said that they are still trying to talk to their managers and HR and had no information on whether or not they would hire me. I have no idea whether I should get good vibes off of that, bad vibes, or whether it’s completely meaningless on the question of whether I’ll have a job soon.

    When I first talked to someone there four weeks ago, they said they wanted to bring me in and start the next Monday. Every week it all gets pushed back a week. It’s intensely frustrating.

    On the upside, Ruemara sent me some gorgeous animation stills of Phoebe that I keep looking at every half hour or so.

  20. 20.

    Betty Cracker

    @Amir Khalid: My husband is from Buffalo, and the look on his face when the Cigarette Smoking Man said that about the Bills…well, I just wish I had a camera at that moment. It all made sense at last!

  21. 21.

    Corner Stone

    I see there is a dedicated bacon posse here at BJ.
    Good…goood.
    /evil insect in Family Guy rubbing hands together.

  22. 22.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @Amir Khalid: I watched the Gopher men’s hockey team win a national in Buffalo back in 2003. So I, at least, have fond memories of the place.

  23. 23.

    Dee Loralei

    @Corner Stone: I phrased my question badly, of course every thing goes better with bacon. I was just curious about the curry, apples, bacon and cheddar.

    ETA: and since everyone is being so helpful, broiled opened- faced, or grilled ?

  24. 24.

    Corner Stone

    @Betty Cracker:

    Why not cheddar, apple, bacon and curry? Sounds delish!

    I actually bake some center cut bacon in the oven with a dusting of curry powder mix sometimes, instead of a straight fry.
    It is awesome. Highly recommend.

  26. 26.

    Violet

    Hi, Betty–I saw your post earlier today about your sleep problems and I just ran across this article on sleep and thought you might find it interesting.
    The 8-hour sleep myth: How I learned that everything I knew about sleep was wrong. It talks about how we used to sleep in two sort of chunks–one earlier in the evening, then waking, and then another later. Somehow with the industrial revolution and other modern changes that knowledge and sleep style has been lost.

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    @Dee Loralei: I don’t believe I have ever used all four at the same time in a dish, but I know bacon and curry, bacon and cheddar, bacon and apple, bacon apple cheese, and bacon cheese curry are all magnifico.

  29. 29.

    Amir Khalid

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
    If the managers and HR aren’t available when people need to talk to them, particularly about something like this, I’d worry about the company. It does sound rather worrying, like they’re not agreed on whether to hire anyone at all.

  30. 30.

    Violet

    @gene108: A friend of mine had a terrible reaction to the flu vaccine last year. It affected her nervous system and apparently activated a latent virus that caused her neurological difficulties. Initially it affected her eyesight but it has also affected other areas. Her doctor has told her she cannot take the flu vaccine again.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    I’ve recently been making a little meatball mix of ground pork and 85/15 ground beef. Incorporate, roll together with some spices and etc, freeze for a bit, bake in the oven for 25 minutes at 400, microwave bacon for 3 minutes as a side.
    Slice fresh beefsteak tomatoes and a couple rings of fresh white onion.
    Dip into side sauce of choice (sriracha or gojuchang).
    Munch bacon.

  33. 33.

    Dee Loralei

    @Corner Stone: I have a maple pepper mix, I do that when I bake the bacon. But the curry kinda interests me tonight, Though I’m not sure how that will taste with borscht.

  34. 34.

    elmo

    @Dee Loralei:
    Broiled open faced would be healthier than the way I grill a sandwich. The key in grilling is not to stint on the butter (always butter, accept no substitutes!)

    So grill, of course. ;-)

  35. 35.

    Corner Stone

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    She said that they are still trying to talk to their managers and HR and had no information on whether or not they would hire me. I have no idea whether I should get good vibes off of that, bad vibes, or whether it’s completely meaningless on the question of whether I’ll have a job soon.

    This actually isn’t unusual, for a number of reasons.
    If you definitively weren’t going to be hired (ATM) they would have made this clear.

  37. 37.

    BGinCHI

    @Central Planning: I was there for the one-day record snowfall and it was epic. Actually pretty scary. You don’t think snowfall can scare you, and then you move to Buffalo. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

  38. 38.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Betty Cracker: Cheddar and curry? If this is not a style of poutine, color me skeptical.

    (Fond memories of Irish tourists ordering curry fries at 10pm … or trying to … silly rabbits, we don’t put curry on fries (or in ketchup, btw, eww) and the manager is an Boston Italian who thinks “gravy” is a synonym for “marinara sauce” which was the other sadly unfulfillable request. (Boston Sicilians are a hoot: buh-day-duhs, “spuckies”, etc.))

  39. 39.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @BGinCHI: Unless you’ve lived in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Which, granted, almost no one does any longer.

  40. 40.

    Amir Khalid

    Something like this happened in the US a while back. This British couple were fined £100 by a hotel for an unfavourable online review of their £36 room.

  42. 42.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Corner Stone: I’m over bacon. It’s okay at Waffle House but I don’t even keep it in the house any more. I’m low iron but grossed out by meat. Give me tofu …

    (All meat seems too old and off or gross because of the gross fat deposits full of the force-fed grain breakdown products they force fed the crittur before it went. Just nauseating. Wish I could eat bread again b/c I would be downing nothing but as long as it didn’t have preservatives, those smell funny.)

  47. 47.

    PsiFighter37

    It was nice of Doug to show up and tell us he’s married now. I wonder if she made him stop trolling in the comments as a condition of marital peace.

    Feels like it was a slow day on the FP today. Did we not want to take turns mocking Mary Landrieu for her transparently desperate attempts to get a bill guaranteed to be vetoed by the president, just to show Louisianans that she’s standing up for…Canadian oil companies?

    Also, this is a perfect example of why people don’t vote for Democrats. The fact that absolutely zero of the leadership positions is changing hands is an illustration that something is really wrong with Democratic congressional leadership. Adding Elizabeth Warren to some glorified title doesn’t mean jack shit.

  48. 48.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Violet: Is there a line of evidence by which they know this is the case or is this post hoc propter hoc reasoning?

    That said, there’s a hell of a lot medical science doesn’t know about post-viral infection syndromes. Just look at the havoc Epstein-Barr virus wreaks on our lives. I have a friend who could just be the unluckiest guy on the planet … or mono complications nearly killed him. Twice. I mean, Occam’s Razor here, it was probably EBV.

    But, ya know, better to cut NIH and other science funding every year. That’ll teach those scienamatists to be more entrepredouchier and more competitamentary and efficienlike.

  49. 49.

    Mike J

    Downloading Lollipop. Might play a little FIFA in a little while. I’d probably do better at FIFA if found some docs somewhere. Just doing the free to play, not 15 for now.

  51. 51.

    Another Holocene Human

    @PsiFighter37: How do you feel about Bernie Sanders running? I’m totally in as long as he’s running in the Democratic Primary and not pulling some assholish Saint Nader/Holy Joe move in the general.

    The DougJ thing is job related.

  53. 53.

    askew

    Ha! Landrieu’s Keystone XL bill failed in the Senate. Now she even looks stupider than when she called for the vote in the first place. Got to love it. She was going to lose regardless of this vote and the time could have been spent confirming judges or something useful.

  56. 56.

    Violet

    @Another Holocene Human: Well, it’s kind of process of deduction. The symptoms started within 24 hours of her getting the flu vaccine. She was fine before it and exhibited no symptoms. They are consistent with a neurological issue. Others have exhibited the same symptoms post flu vaccine. She has had blood tests done that show elevated levels of some virus–I think it’s Epstein Barr, but not sure. Her symptoms are similar to, but not quite the same as Guillain Barre.

    She had to take a course of steroids for a different reason and during that time her symptoms went away and she felt the best she’s felt in the last year. It’s yet another piece of the puzzle that indicates something is off neurologically and if it’s suppressed she feels better. She can’t stay on steroids though, so that’s a problem.

    Unfortunately, the GP she had at the time, that she went to right away, told her it was all in her head (of course! she’s female! she’s crazy!) and wanted to prescribe antidepressants. Had she been treated with an antiviral or steroids immediately she might have been able to keep the virus from activating and causing the problems. She’s not happy, as you can imagine.

  57. 57.

    Another Holocene Human

    @askew: fuck to the yeah

    mostly because of spills/Lakota position on the whole thing

    very good news for American Indian Nations in the West

    I think the “climate change” arguments are as specious as that bobblehead nonsense about reducing reliance on foreign oil, because Canada is not the 51st state, you guys, and it’s not meant for US sale, and … making oil barons richer doesn’t reduce reliance on oil … ffs … I guess a pipeline saves the diesel used on rail shipping? lol, okay…

  59. 59.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    On the positive side, I just got an email from my editor (I suspect prompted by a mutual friend telling her how stressed out and in need of some positive reinforcement I am):

    “I’ve really enjoyed the manuscript so far. My first read was all in one sitting, and it really grabbed me right from the first chapters. I think you have a great grasp of Phoebe’s voice via strong first-person storytelling, and while I’m going to have some questions for you about the flashback vs. flash-forward storytelling, overall the story holds
    together very well. It’s been great having a strong manuscript to dig into, and I’m looking forward to discussing the edit with you.”

    And I’ve worked with her enough to know that she doesn’t sugarcoat stuff, so I’m feeling really good right now.

  63. 63.

    elmo

    @BGinCHI: Biggest snowstorm I was ever in was 8 feet in 36 hours. It was over a weekend, and since it was a ski town, everybody was at work on Monday morning. Biz as usual.

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    KEYSTONE FAILED THE SENATE!! Excuse me for shouting, but this is really good news!

    You know, until I retired last year, I was paid good money to advocate strongly on behalf of the KXL Pipeline. Just one of the myriad reasons I was glad to get out when I did.

  65. 65.

    sparrow

    Eating sushi at a restaurant in Back Bay, in boston for a conference. Alone, so therefore at the bar and faced with CNN. It’s so awful I just want to stick chopsticks through my eyes and be done with it. We’re fucked, people.

  66. 66.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Violet: Yeah, sounds like something nasty, shame about the shitty doctor. There’s no telling if it was the vaccine, or something about her immune response to the vaccine tipping her over the edge, or whatever, but kind of like I suspected, doc isn’t sure so is being a little superstitious here. What I mean is that any kind of symptom can follow vaccine. See VAERS. Doesn’t mean there’s a causal relationship. Most events in VAERS have no plausible causal connection. But impossible? Of course not. (I know more about statistics than medicine, let’s put it that way.) Kind of surprised the conclusion wasn’t no vaccines, period.

  68. 68.

    kindness

    Intertubes have been depressing today. So I spent a bit listening to old Black Crowes videos/songs on YouTube while I worked.

    Nice.

    I stopped listening to NPR entirely. I stopped going to their web site too. Last think I need is more Republican apologists. I feel much better.

  69. 69.

    Baud

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You know, until I retired last year, I was paid good money to advocate strongly on behalf of the KXL Pipeline.

    I would happily accept remuneration to be the voice of Keystone XL on Balloon Juice.

  71. 71.

    Another Holocene Human

    @kindness: Off NPR for a couple days, turned back to it around 5pm because bored (one can only take so much classic rock, and they took away my smooth jazz station, the bastards) and the segment was funded by

    The Walton Foundation

    omg

    And some bullshit about they promoting “school choice”. So like vouchers.

    omg

    Yup, we are so fucked. (And NPR is terrible terrible. Are they still in DC’s Golden Triangle? I thought that whole area got razed recently.)

  72. 72.

    PsiFighter37

    @askew: Of course Democrats had to waste precious time in the lame duck on this shit instead of confirming as many fucking judges as possible. What the fuck is wrong with Harry Reid? He should know Landrieu is toast.

  73. 73.

    Eric U.

    so 3 of the top 4 newsmax stories are denying the existence of climate change. I like the “woolly mammoth may walk the earth again” story, that’s really original

    I’ve been listening to NPR more while doing home repair work. for whatever reason no morning edition or ATC. I think that’s why I haven’t stopped listening again.

  74. 74.

    gogol's wife

    @BGinCHI:

    Come on, now, they have Louis Sullivan’s Guaranty Building. And Frank Lloyd Wright’s Darwin Martin House. And lots of other cool houses.

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Baud:

    My job was super easy, and super depressing. I had to go into GOP Rep and Sen district offices–in the Deep South, no less–and say good things about Keystone, TPP, and occasionally, killing baby seals. It turned into a soul-sucking exercise, and I was thrilled when the Consulate hired a new political advocacy person and I didn’t have to whore myself out any more.

  79. 79.

    rikyrah

    The Valerie Jarrett I Know: How She Saved the Obama Campaign and Why She’s Indispensable

    Her critics plainly do not know her. To work for Jarrett is to discover someone who listens and someone who expects nothing less than the very best.
    By Joshua DuBois

    With all of the recent conversation about Valerie Jarrett, there’s an aspect of her work that still hasn’t received much attention: her impact on the next generation of Washington leadership. This is a critically important role, and something I’ve seen firsthand.

    ………………………….

    Valerie is still something of an outsider, although she has been in our nation’s capitol for a while now. Washington doesn’t long abide people that it can’t control, and Valerie is just a tad beyond the establishment’s reach. She owes few favors; she doesn’t need to rely on anyone for a media hit, consulting contract, or her next job. Whisper campaigns don’t diminish her status in the eyes of Obama—the two are friends, pure and simple, and the president has long since concluded that, outside sniping aside, Valerie has his best interests in mind. Perhaps most frustrating for the powers that be is that Valerie Jarrett has built her own base of support from the ground up—outside groups whose progressive causes she proudly champions, and young, influential staff whose voices she has empowered.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/18/the-valerie-jarrett-i-know-how-she-saved-the-obama-campaign-and-why-she-s-indispensable.html

  80. 80.

    shelley

    Watching ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.’ The last scene is Snoopy and Woodstock sitting down to a traditional turkey dinner. Doesn’t it seem weird for Woodstock, the yellow bird, to be chowing down on another bird? Cannabelistic.

  84. 84.

    Mike E

    @Suffern ACE: My teenager registered, inquired about her voting status when said registration wasn’t confirmed by the local BoE within a reasonable time, got it straightened out, found an early voting site and cast her very 1st ballot, all without any prompting from me. So, there.

    :-)

  89. 89.

    MomSense

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    She gave you very positive feedback. I hope you appreciate that even if nothing comes of this ( and I do not think that will be the case!) I admire that you actually wrote the book. Many of us wish or dream or wonder about writing a book or trying something new but few of us follow through and do it.

    I am rooting for you!!

  92. 92.

    danielx

    Mercy….17 degrees outside right now, supposedly going down to single digits tonight. Not supposed to have to deal with this until January, and it’s really putting a hurtin’ on my outside project list. It’s just too fucking cold to do anything outside, particularly anything requiring manual dexterity. Take off your gloves or mittens and you’ve got about three minutes before you start to lose feeling in your fingertips…

  93. 93.

    JCT

    Ditched one of my meetings today and snuck off to see the Bowie exhibit at the Chicago Contemporary Art Museum. Brought back some awesome memories.

  94. 94.

    VFX Lurker

    @shelley:

    Watching ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.’ The last scene is Snoopy and Woodstock sitting down to a traditional turkey dinner. Doesn’t it seem weird for Woodstock, the yellow bird, to be chowing down on another bird? Cannabelistic.

    Maybe Woodstock is a tiny yellow bird of prey. ;-)

  95. 95.

    Howard Beale IV

    Cory Doctorow heaps scorn, calls the following senators traitors for failing to pass cloture on the USA FREEDOM Act: Alexander (R-TN), Ayotte (R-NH), Barrasso (R-WY), Blunt (R-MO), Boozman (R-AR), Burr (R-NC), Chambliss (R-GA), Coats (R-IN), Coburn (R-OK), Cochran (R-MS), Collins (R-ME), Corker (R-TN), Cornyn (R-TX), Crapo (R-ID), Enzi (R-WY), Fischer (R-NE), Flake (R-AZ), Graham (R-SC), Grassley (R-IA), Hatch (R-UT), Hoeven (R-ND), Inhofe (R-OK), Isakson (R-GA), Johanns (R-NE), Johnson (R-WI), Kirk (R-IL), McCain (R-AZ), McConnell (R-KY), Moran (R-KS), Nelson (D-FL), Paul (R-KY), Portman (R-OH), Risch (R-ID), Roberts (R-KS), Rubio (R-FL), Scott (R-SC), Sessions (R-AL), Shelby (R-AL), Thune (R-SD), Toomey (R-PA), Vitter (R-LA), Wicker (R-MS).

    The real kicker? Paul the lesser. Seems he’s all hat-no cattle.

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