I was in the back office playing warcrack and blurting out obscenities on twitter and I heard Shawn talking, thought he was talking to me, and came out and found this:
Steve and Lily are total sluts when it comes to a lap.
Also, I’ve taken to calling Shawn my heterosexual life partner in public because it makes people do a double-take and look at you funny for a second before they figure out what you are saying.
Linnaeus
Funny, I was just playing Starcrack (the original).
srv
In all the Balloon-Juice Interons, you have found no womyn to marry off Shawn?
You could do an auction. Or it could be Game of Thrones-ish. What’s Empress Marcotte up to?
Or perhaps you should start an abbey.
lamh36
LOL. You are a weird dude, but at least you’re funny
Mandalay
Hillary Clinton desperately pretending that she is having fun…
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posttv/national/word-association-with-hillary-clinton/2014/12/05/998cc7dc-7ceb-11e4-8241-8cc0a3670239_video.html
President Obama actually having fun…
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posttv/politics/obama-busts-a-move-with-santa-claus/2014/12/05/ba8cca00-7c9a-11e4-8241-8cc0a3670239_video.html
No matter who gets the job next, the country loses when he steps down.
rikyrah
@lamh36:
The thing is…. I understand this.
LOL…Cole.
KG
Per Jay and Silent Bob the proper term is “hetero life mate”
Omnes Omnibus
@KG: Obligatory.
Poopyman
@srv: He never got over the big breakup with Jane from FDL.
Felonius Monk
The wingnuts apparently have a new star asshole and her picture alone will make you want to toss your cookies. Oh yeah, she’s not a racist either.
CaseyL
Steve looks bigger than Lily in that photo!
@rikyrah:
I’ve lived with lovers, and I’ve lived with friends. Friends work out better. I’d love to find a “heterosexual life partner,” though after living on my own for so many years I’d probably make a lousy housemate.
Tommy
@CaseyL:
For a number of years my brother lived with me. I miss that. Enjoyable.
satby
Cole, you crack me up.
Mike J
@KG: With Cole around let’s not start talking about what a fat man in an overcoat has done.
Pogonip
I am pleased to report that no one in my little circle has died for three entire days!
It’s raining hard. Glad it’s not snow.
I have one question about the Rolling Stone Kerfuffle. Even I know that fraternities are notorious for ungentlemanly behavior. So why do colleges allow them? Aren’t they lawsuits waiting to happen?
Mike in NC
@Felonius Monk: Texas Twat
Omnes Omnibus
@Pogonip: Ask Cole about his boys. My experience of a fraternity was unreservedly positive, but I went to a small school that had strong controls over the Greek system.
beltane
Rosie looks like she’s angling for some kind of a better position.
Tommy
@Pogonip: I was President of my frat. I got kicked out. This was the late 80s. I didn’t seem to understand hazing. And we hazed. I tried to change things and that didn’t work out so well. I engaged in it. Nothing close to perfect. But I learned I was wrong. Maybe I should be a better person.
Villago Delenda Est
Next Cole will be telling us how he masticates in public.
Helen
And where is Rosie’s frat boyfriend?
Howard Beale IV
For those of you who may be interested in this new high-resolution audio streaming service that’s been getting some glowing press called Tidal Hifi? I gave it a whirl.
My advice? Skip it for now.
I ran into several issues with the service saying it could not provide a lossless bitstream, but perhaps the most damning was the fact that their catalog, quite frankly, sucks dead donkey dick. It appears Tidal Hifi could not get unfettered access to the catalogs of the majors, with the result that artists works are just not there. Example: Fleetwood Mac. You would expect that when you pulled up their album list you’d see Tusk-but-surpruse!-not here.
Same thing when I went to search for notorious boy band BBMak-nanda. zero. zilch. null set.
And he deal breaker for me-no Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. So much for Tidal’s attorneys, never mind their nanocephalic slackjawed mouthbreathing ‘curators’.
Seriously, Tidal-if you’re going to charge twice the price of Rhaposidy, Spotify et. al., you had best deliver more than twice the value with the same sized catalog-but since you couldn’t even get that right ,you either best become nichey (i.e., classical/jazz.blues), or wind-up your business.
srv
@Howard Beale IV: Marketing over substance.
How about a Kickstarter to build an app that makes your beats sound like tubes?
Omnes Omnibus
@Tommy: Delta Nu didn’t haze. The worst one could do was ask a pledge do 10 push-ups. If the pledge thought it was unjustified, he could ask the active to do them with him. That was it.
MikeInSewickley
Today was a tough and tiring day… until this post and picture.
Thanks, JC and the Balloon Juice fraternity. I needed this.
And let us know when the Calendar is available.
Tommy
@Omnes Omnibus: You are a frat brother of mine. Not every place is the same. Mine was terrible. We beat people. It was just want we did. I know it makes no sense now, but it seemed to make sense at the time.
Helen
@Omnes Omnibus: I want to be your friend. Well. Anyone’s friend. So. I will write what I think you want to hear. Gosh. Don’t understand. Why aren’t all smart far left leaning liberals. Like me.
mdblanche
@Felonius Monk: She could pose for Klimt.
qwerty42
Geeze, Steve is a huge cat.
BruinKid
Looks like the libertarian crowd is flailing around trying to defend their savior Rand Paul after he blamed cigarette taxes for Eric Garner’s death. A sampling:
Omnes Omnibus
@Tommy: It made no sense to us in the early ’80s. Sure, making someone jumping through some hoops to join a group makes sense, but why the hell would you abuse people you like and want to be around? I am not saying that my house was innocent of any bad behavior, but we sure as hell didn’t haze and we had as diverse a population as a small liberal arts college in the Upper Midwest permitted.
Steeplejack
My happy song for the week. Hunted down from a snippet used in the current Korbel TV ad.
I need a happy song this week.
NotMax
We used to call people like that who shared an abode checkmates.
(When a paycheck comes in, we both have the option to make some use of it.)
satby
Open thread so: thanks to all the Juicers who have ordered for the holidays. It’s a huge help today especially, my boss called me to tell me my paycheck was going to bounce. He’ll be good for it, but it’s going to be a hassle; but knowing I had some back-up made me totally Zen about it.
I blame you guys.
And Obama.
Omnes Omnibus
@Helen: You clearly didn’t read my comment on the previous thread.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: They scored more points?
NotMax
@efgoldman
Like the anecdotal red-headed step-child?
BillinGlendaleCA
@efgoldman: They beat Oregon at Oregon, not sure how.
LesGS
My daughters share the same last name.
However, that last name is the result of a couple of hippy-ish sort of guys putting their last names together, with no hyphen in the middle. (I don’t know if the lack of a hyphen is important or not.)
Anyway, they moved in together once they left the nest, which is fantastic as far as I am concerned. Family needs to look out for one another.
But then they went to the bank together to work some rental/utility/whatever issue out. The older daughter, while queer, needs to pass as not in her job, so she doesn’t blip anyone’s radar. The younger couldn’t pass as straight if she wanted to, which she most definitely does not.
So they’re dealing with a very polite teller, who is trying to work out their tangled finances, when the younger (who is way smarter, people-wise, than the rest of us nerds) realizes the teller thinks she and her sister are married.
She says, “We’re sisters, you know. That’s why we have the same last name.”
The teller’s brain goes ‘ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk,” and then she says, “Oh!”
Then the finances situation flows much smoother, and the teller has to discreetly whisper to a manager that the girls aren’t married, that they’re just sisters.
So they’re homosexual partners… but not.
Helen
@Omnes Omnibus: I did. The comment has nothing to do with the price of tea in China. My bad. I was being sarcastic. Responding to the comment above. Where the fuck is Corner Stone when I need him?
Cacti
@efgoldman:
Even in their best years, Oregon always seems to have one game where they shit the bed and lose one that they shouldn’t.
stinger
Even with two heat packs on his lap, Shawn looks like he’s wearing several layers of clothing. Might be time to turn on the furnace….
Omnes Omnibus
@Helen:
Passed out?
Howard Beale IV
@srv:
Even Turd Polishing has its limits.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
@LesGS: rofl. :-)
Cheers,
Scott.
recurvata
Wait, which one of you is the heterosexual? ;-)
Suzanne
Hahaha, when I was at UA in the late 90s-early 00s, the notorious frat was ZBT. Their frat house had a masonry fence around it, and they used to block the gates and fill the entire yard with enough water that they could swim in it and jump off the roof into the “pool”. One of the other ones used to haze their pledges with “the elephant walk”.
I had and still have no desire to spend even a few moments around people like that, so I did not join a sorority or attend frat party bullshit.
Suzanne
The beasties are adorable and it also looks like you may have gotten rid of those fugly end tables?! HUZZAH!
Omnes Omnibus
@Suzanne: And all experiences match yours. Right?
Suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: No. Did I say anywhere they they did, or that every frat sucks, or something?
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: Easy bet.
GregB
@Mandalay: @Omnes Omnibus:
Aren’t you going to have to rename to Cromnibus?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
This person was hired to teach small children. I’d also bet a good chunk of this month’s mortgage payment she has a degree from a “Christian” college
Omnes Omnibus
@Omnes Omnibus: Nevermind.
Omnes Omnibus
@Suzanne: Implied it, didn’t you?
Suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Um, no. Not even slightly. I merely recounted my experiences at a specific university at a specific point in time. Who pissed in your cornflakes tonight?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Helen: No one ever needs Corner Stone.
Yatsuno
So in other news…MY NEPHEW IS COMING!!!
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Well, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never seen a hockey team win by twelve goals before. By the end, the Gophers could have sent out almost a full shift worth of players with two goals, looking for the hat trick. Nina Rodgers has two goals in her career, both tonight. Paige Haley also scored her first, halfway through her sophomore season.
I’m worn out from singing the Rouser so many times.
tsquared2001
@rikyrah: The part that killed me was picturing Shawn being all “nah, motherfucker, I ain’t talking to you!”.
Drunken hausfrau
I love this. Look, I think really, we all just need to find people and animals with whom we can live and love,
Suzanne
@Yatsuno: YAY + BABY = YAYBY
congrats, uncle. :)
Mnemosyne
@Yatsuno:
So nice of your sister (or SIL?) to give the family a lovely present before Christmas. :-)
John Cole +0
@Yatsuno:
You sure he’s not just breathing hard?
And with that, I will exit the blog.
Suzanne
@efgoldman: Corner Stone cracks me the hell up.
NotMax
Reports are that ratings for Peter Pan were down 46% from last year’s live The Sound of Music.
No surprise, that.
Helen
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Disagree. Corner Stone is my partner in arms regarding my comment.
Mnemosyne
@efgoldman:
I’m pretty sure Yatsy means that he’s in the process of being born, like, right now.
My niece and nephew were born via scheduled C-section, so the waiting was a little less exciting. Still great once they got here, though.
Omnes Omnibus
@Suzanne: Honestly, it was Tommy.
FWIW, I related my experiences as well.
tsquared2001
@Omnes Omnibus: I deliberately picked my college because it didn’t have frats.Or sororities.Or anybody who thought making somebody jump through hoops was fun. But then I am a city kid.
trollhattan
@John Cole +0:
And, scene.
“a. here all week, b. tip waitress, c. try the veal.”
Helen
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yeah sweetie. That’s what I meant at 26. Get it?
Suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Hah, I can see that. I honestly think the fact that they filled up their yard with water and made it into a pool is hilarious. I mean, crazy and stupid, but funny. I must applaud them for their huevos, as well as their trust in the structural integrity of their fence.
I know. Some frats are cool, some are mediocre, some are full of tools. I was on an academic scholarship and I lived in an honors dorm, and if I had tried to join a sorority, I would have gotten many funny looks, because the Greek houses there were almost all completely party-oriented. But I know it’s not the same everywhere.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@efgoldman: St. Cloud State. Perpetually not very good but they did split with Ohio State and swept RPI this year. Weak, but still better than most of the teams #1 ranked BC has played this year.
tsquared2001
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): That simply can’t happen. No way. No how.
Omnes Omnibus
@tsquared2001: Well, good for you.
Joel Hanes
@Omnes Omnibus:
why the hell would you abuse people you like and want to be around?
Traumatic initiation is a group-cohesion technique known since antiquity —
people identify with others with the same scars.
Unit loyalty in the military is based partly on a peculiar shared experience of oppression.
There’s nothing that builds community like shared suffering. No one else understands.
IMHO medical residency has more than a whiff of this.
Suzanne
@Joel Hanes: My question was always: why the hell would you want to hang out with people who want you to put your thumb up another dude’s ass [substitute hazing ritual here]? Like, why does that seem fun? And why would you pay for that privilege? You can make friends for free.
Omnes Omnibus
@Joel Hanes:
My experience in the military also suggests that you are wrong. Going through a difficult situation does not equal oppression. YMMV.
@Suzanne: That kind of behavior is not universal. Ask Cole about his Frat kids.
Suzanne
I am in an excellent fucking mood. I got all my pieces glazed. Love my new airbrush! Kiln gets unloaded tomorrow, and the first half of my pieces are in it. I made a sushi-and-sake set for four for Mr. Suzanne. I’ve been working on it for months, and I’m eager to see how it comes out.
Nutella
Another excellent use of my tax dollars:
The diocese has millions of dollars under its control and the archbishop lives in an [expletive-deleted] mansion but we, the taxpayers of Chicago, are paying for police to watch the mansion.
link
(edited for clarity)
Yatsuno
@John Cole +0:
HE WILL BE!!!
And I love that y’all reacted pretty much as I hoped you would. I love you jackals!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Nutella: Nice house. Looks like Cupich, who is Francis’s man in Chicago, is going to stay in the rectory, and the Pope lives as I understand it in a small apartment in Vatican City.
Also, too, I really doubt the Chicago Archdiocese pays property taxes.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@tsquared2001: Hey, I linked to the box score.
Nutella
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Yep. Very nice.
It’s on a huge lot with a big lawn in a neighborhood where nobody else has a lawn much bigger than a postage stamp since real estate is so expensive.
Besides the big house, now occupied by four clergymen, there’s a converted carriage house where the nuns who work as domestic help in the big house live.
link
Nutella
@Nutella:
From the same CNN article, the reason given for keeping the mansion:
Maybe they could use this large and very well-located building for that. The school that used to be there was closed a few years ago and now it’s used for diocesan offices.
Plenty of room for parties and no extra police assigned.
divF
Was watching Rachel Maddow this evening. She opened with all of the good news for the Obama admin for the last six years, closing with the polling numbers for Obama’s immigration policy. They were:
50% – just about right
22% – didn’t go far enough
And what does that leave, boys and girls ?
Steve T.
@lamh36: Some of us have been wondering about that.
Hal
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Who could forget Martin Luther King’s inspirational speech; “If there’s one person I hope gets Ebola, it’s you.”
And what does take one for the team even mean?
divF
@Yatsuno:
Ours moved in with us in July. He’s 21, going to community college, and has stepmother issues that keep him from doing this at home. However, we used to take care of him (and his sister) when they were little staggerers. Major cuteness and much love – that’s why we immediately took him in when things started coming unglued for him.
eemom
OT, and sorry to rain on y’all’s late night parade, but I am fucking pissed about this.
You know what, Cole? You’re a good man in a lot of ways, but your knee jerk “Imma PROVE I’m a progressive” shit in those UVA threads is really pretty shameful.
You never did answer the very good question someone put to you the other night: What would your reaction have been if YOUR precious frat boys were the ones who were accused?
wasabi gasp
Have a yabba dabba doo time. A dabba doo time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31txEEiDwdA
raven
2 hrs of dead time,wow.
ThresherK
“Thought he was talking to me” indicates yet another person who doesn’t have a different voice addressing animals v. people.
In our house those once-unique voices are converging. Neither I nor my wife are surprised anymore when one asks “What did you say?” and hear “No, I was talking to the cat”.
John Cole +0
@eemom: I’d say it’s more a knee-jerk reactionary. And my reaction, if you remember, was to the demands of hearing both sides, so it was based on my pre-existing hatred of “both sides do it” form of journalism.
And I’d be pissed. Pissed if they did it, pissed if they didn’t. But I’d call nationals, call the chapter council, call the involved alums, get a lawyer, and hit things head on either way.
Remember, I was operating under the assumption that the author had contacted them, as she stated.
chopper
@Pogonip:
at least you can laugh. you’re okay.
Emily68
@Villago Delenda Est:
Masticates in public? Even worse, he’s a philatelist!!!!!!
Elizabelle
Rosie looks like a mini-Golden Lab in the overhead photo.
Comrade Dread
Well, he does have a pretty good ‘Silent Bob’ beard going there.
theronware
Damn, that was a funny post! Love the picture of those spoiled hounds and cat!
mdblanche
@divF: 1% for don’t know.
Matt Smith
I love shit like that. I have a shirt with a big 3D rooster. People always look at it funny for a second as they think: “Is that shirt a cock joke? Or is it just me who looks at it and immediately thinks cock?”
It’s my favorite shirt.
Montarvillois
Oh that Rosie, ever so camera shy.