Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

Let there be snark.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

This blog will pay for itself.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Everybody saw this coming.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Today in “No, this is not the Onion” News

Today in “No, this is not the Onion” News

by | 46 Comments

This post is in: 

It’s really not funny, I swear:

Chlorine gas sickened several people and forced the evacuation of thousands of guests from a suburban Chicago hotel early Sunday, including many dressed in cartoonish animal costumes for an annual furries convention who were ushered across the street to a convention centre that was hosting a dog show.

Nineteen people who became nauseous or dizzy were treated at local hospitals, and at least 18 were released shortly thereafter.

The source of the gas was apparently chlorine powder left in a 9th-floor stairwell at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare, according to the Rosemont Public Safety Department. Investigators believe the gas was created intentionally and are treating it as a criminal matter.

The hotel is hosting the 2014 Midwest FurFest convention, also called “Anthrocon,” where attendees celebrate animals that are anthropomorphic — meaning they’ve been given human characteristics — through art, literature and performance. Many of the attendees, who refer to themselves as “furries,” wore cartoonish animal outfits.

I have no idea what would motivate someone to do something like that.

I’m talking about releasing the gas.

Reader Interactions

46Comments

  3. 3.

    max

    It’s really not funny, I swear:

    This is:

    LANGLEY, VA—Shedding new light on a tumultuous period of upheaval that dominated international headlines nearly 30 years ago, the U.S. government declassified hundreds of documents Tuesday that confirm the CIA covertly organized and executed the coup that ousted lead singer David Lee Roth from Van Halen.

    According to a preliminary analysis, the newly released information includes more than 1,600 pages of formerly top-secret material detailing the CIA’s clandestine plot to infiltrate the platinum-selling rock group and unseat the magnetic, impulsive musician from his leadership position in the spring of 1985. The documents reveal that the agency worked behind the scenes for years, beginning after the release of the disco-inflected “Push Comes To Shove” single in 1981, to foment the internal turmoil and unrest needed to destabilize the band and ultimately force Roth to step down from the American heavy metal act.

    “As Van Halen’s creative direction became uncertain in the early 1980s, it became increasingly apparent that we would have to take the steps necessary to remove Roth from power,” said former Deputy Director of Central Intelligence John N. McMahon, describing the covert process by which he and his colleagues quietly forced a schism between the vocalist and members of the band’s inner circle in order to disrupt the dangerous cult of personality that had taken hold around the hard-rock frontman. “Well before the commencement of the Hide Your Sheep Tour, Roth had become too unpredictable, too brazen, and he was preventing the band’s sound from moving toward synthesizer-driven, radio-friendly rock. So, we felt we needed to act, and quickly.” […]

    This isn’t:

    But I knew police weren’t all bad. One of my father’s closest friends was a cop. He became a mentor to me and encouraged me to join the force. He told me that I could use the police’s power and resources to help my community.

    So in 1994, I joined the St. Louis Police Department. I quickly realized how naive I’d been. I was floored by the dysfunctional culture I encountered.

    I won’t say all, but many of my peers were deeply racist.

    One example: A couple of officers ran a Web site called St. Louis Coptalk, where officers could post about their experience and opinions. At some point during my career, it became so full of racist rants that the site administrator temporarily shut it down. Cops routinely called anyone of color a “thug,” whether they were the victim or just a bystander.

    max
    [‘Feel the realism.’]

  6. 6.

    Frankensteinbeck

    I have no idea what would motivate someone to do something like that.

    The world is full of assholes. It’s especially ironic, because apparently furry conventions have a good reputation for being friendly with the community, tipping well at restaurants, not starting fights, stuff like that. Other fandoms, not so much.

  7. 7.

    mb

    I have no idea what would motivate someone to do something like that. I’m talking about releasing the gas.

    Are you saying you do know what motivates the furry lifestyle? If so, please enlighten. I, for one, am much more perplexed by the furry craze. I understand hate and that’s what motivates people to injure/kill others. I grew up in Birmingham, AL — pretty much the mecca of narrow-minded hatred. It’s all the same shit just different targets.

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @mb: They get to be someone else for a while. To quote Lou Reed: I thought I was
    someone else, someone good.

  10. 10.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @mb:
    Same as most countercultures. A combination of alienation and enjoying a particular entertainment. It’s not any different from goths, beatniks, punks, grunge, or people who are really into football.

  11. 11.

    mb

    @Major Major Major Major: Yeah, well I’m still curious to hear Cole’s insight into the furry movement. I want details. As a matter of fact, I don’t ever recall seeing a picture of Cole and Steve together. Makes me wonder.

  12. 12.

    mb

    And I’m sorry, being really into sports (or a goth) is a bit different that liking to dress up like sexy animals.

  13. 13.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @mb:

    And I’m sorry, being really into sports (or a goth) is a bit different that liking to dress up like sexy animals.

    No, it really isn’t. It is something that makes the participants happy and allows them to join in a group of like minded people.

  14. 14.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @mb:
    Nope. I know sports people, goths, and furries. It’s pretty much exactly the same. The guy who paints half his face blue, the guy who kohls an eye of Horus around his eye, and the guy who puts on a fox mask are the same level of enthusiast, doing pretty much the same thing.

    EDIT – The only difference is that for a few decades everyone was told that the sports enthusiasts were the only normal and healthy hobby.

  15. 15.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @mb: You never dressed up for the football game and had sex with similarly attired people?? And here I thought I was a stick in the mud.

  16. 16.

    Mike in NC

    “CSI” did an episode that involved a furry people convention in Las Vegas. Most of us had no idea.

  19. 19.

    Pogonip

    @Frankensteinbeck: I sure hope the people dressing up as squirrels or whatever ARE different from OSU fans. At best OSU fans are tiresome, at worst they’re criminals (they’ve been known to vandalize cars with Michigan plates, and of course there’s the annual post-Michigan game riot).

  20. 20.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Pogonip:
    Well, like I said, I read a news article that convention centers and the areas around them love furry cons, because apparently the attendees are really nice. I can’t say if that’s true or just anecdotal, but I thought it was cute so I remember it.

  21. 21.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    “Police are on the lookout for a terrorist that goes by the nom de plume of Pepe le Peuw”

  24. 24.

    scav

    Sports fans can riot and burn things even when their teams win, so that’s a teensie high horse they’re crawling on top of, all in all.

  26. 26.

    Pogonip

    @scav: A few years ago some poor woman at OSU was forced to resign for saying in public that the fans riot whether they win or lose against Michigan.

  27. 27.

    Soonergrunt

    From the article:

    The source of the gas was apparently chlorine powder left in a 9th-floor stairwell at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare, according to the Rosemont Public Safety Department. Investigators believe the gas was created intentionally and are treating it as a criminal matter.

    This was a terrorist attack, using a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Plain and simple. Everybody is giggling about it, but chlorine gas was used in WWI at Ypres, Iraq, and Syria.
    The facts that it seems to have failed, or that the targets are a bunch of weirdos are irrelevant.

  28. 28.

    Xenos

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Not living in the US for the last few years, I have been wondering where this use of the term “thug” has come from in the last few years. I can see it making sense to use the term to describe a criminal class, but more often than not is seems to apply to protesters or anyone who opposes the police.

    It seems to be a new low in American discourse.

  29. 29.

    Suzanne

    Furries are weird, but it’s specifically the ponygirl/ponyboy thing that I just cannot fathom. Butt plugs with fake tails? My kinks just don’t kink that way, I guess.

  31. 31.

    Citizen_X

    @Xenos:

    I have been wondering where this use of the term “thug” has come from in the last few years.

    From a frustrated urge to say “n****r.”

  32. 32.

    opiejeanne

    @Mike in NC: You still have no idea. That show had a chance to get it right but they didn’t. They missed by a mile. My son and his friends are curries, and we have had a number of discussions about this subject. They host an annual convention in SoCal, so I tend to believe they know whereof they speak.

    There was a great article bout Furries in a magazine a couple of years ago (but do you think I can find it now?)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom Scroll down to the heading Public Perception and Media Coverage.

  33. 33.

    opiejeanne

    @Frankensteinbeck: It’s true.

    I know of a monthly party that furries hold at a house within walking distance of an In’n’Out. The guests walk over to get something to eat and people wait to take pictures of them and the manager welcomes them because they attract business as well as being well-behaved.

  37. 37.

    ThresherK

    @opiejeanne: From out of left field: Did they get it right on any TV shows? I know it popped up in an Aqua Teen several years ago.

    Everyone has a non-mainstream avocation ripe for misrepresenting on the teevee, says I.

  41. 41.

    Interrobang

    Not all furries are into the sex aspect, either. Some of them just like dressing up as animals, or having animal personae on online forums, or whatever.

    Having known fetish furries since before the internet was a thing ordinary people had access to, the “normalising bestiality” thing is a damnable libel. They’re not actually attracted to animals, FFS. I can’t throw stones in any case; I’m a lapsed SCAdian, and some wags there refer to it as the Society for Consenting Adults. I mean, we get dressed up in medieval garb and hook up.

    I sure as hell hope they catch whoever did this and find out why it happened. I’m worried that the investigation won’t go anywhere, though, because even a lot of (other) weirdos think furries are Too Damn Weird, and given that, who knows what the average police officer (i.e. an uber-mundane) would think?

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    @Interrobang:

    Given the location, the odds are pretty low that nothing will be done — that’s one of the biggest convention center hotels in the Chicago area, and the management does NOT want anyone fucking around with their convention income. ArchTeryx is in the thread above with some information, since he’s attended that specific convention in the past.

  43. 43.

    Tim in SF

    Wow! I’m finally an expert on a Balloon-Juice topic. Too bad it’s this one. (sigh)

    I’ve been to Star Trek conventions, Gay Video Game conventions, Yaoi (Japanese gay manga) conventions, about 15 San Diego Comic Cons, more renfaires than I can count, and most definitely a bunch of other shit I can’t remember at the moment. I’ve been to one Furry convention (Further Confusion).

    I had way more fun at the Furry con than I had at any of the others. Hands down, no contest, far and away more fun. I don’t want to bash on the other groups, but… sheesh, those Fursuiters really know how to party. I’ve never seen more rampant, open drug use and debauchery at an event (and I haven’t missed a Folsom Street Fair or Dore Alley Fair in a dozen years). I barely survived.

    The best way to learn about a culture is to immerse oneself. That works for subcultures, too. If you’re interested in this one, go to a Furry con. You’ll have a blast. (just ask ABL – she went to one, once).

  44. 44.

    grumpy realist

    Wasn’t this across from a standard pet show? In which case, I suspect someone from PETA with a bad sense of direction.

  45. 45.

    Theodore Wirth

    You should well know that dog farts are SBD. For the less cultured among you out there, SBD means Silent But Deadly. Nevertheless, sickness abounds from the asses of all homo sapiens.

  46. 46.

    Pontiac

    Ok. Well, I’m a furry. Have been one for about 20 years. It’s an eclectic, diy, fun time, and there are a lot of different ways to engage with the aesthetic. Perhaps one thing that distinguishes it from other kinds of ‘fandom’ is that there is absolutely no canon.

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