Today I looked at my 2014 Pets of Balloon Juice Calendar and realized that it would be as worthless as Lanny Davis’ loyalty or Mark Penn’s advice, starting tomorrow. I said to myself, “Where the fuck is the new Balloon Juice calendar that I ordered on the day it came out, goddamit?”. I searched my email and could only find shipping notices from years past. It was then that I realized the gravity of my mistake: I had not, in fact, ordered the 2015 Pets of Balloon Juice Calendar. Therefore, I will have to risk damaging my eyesight by squinting at the little January box on the December calendar until the new one that I ordered this morning arrives.
Perhaps some of your are in the same position. My advice is to start drinking early to deal with the self-loathing and shame generated by your reckless stupidity. But, before using demon rum to transport yourself to a place where your idiocy no longer matters, click here to order a new calendar. It is a labor of love and a quality item.
As partial atonement for my lack of speedy calendar buying, I offer up this open thread.
Corner Stone
I swear I thought Cole was the author of this one. I was going to make a snarky quip about the demon rum part but double checked and sure enough, it’s MM and not the one who has sworn off besotting himself.
Corner Stone
By the way, MSNBC just did a segment on the Idaho mother who was shot by her 2 yr old child. They called her a “responsible gun owner” no less than three times.
Now, I am not anti-gun as some here are, but there is simply no way you are shopping with four minor children and you leave access to a ready to go firearm and can still remotely be called “responsible”.
ETA, it’s a fucking tragedy for the child and the family, but let’s call it what it is and not wash it clean.
Just having a CHL does not make one responsible. And putting the purse with the 2 yr old in a buggy is the anti to “responsible”.
Amir Khalid
@Corner Stone:
I’ve seen enough coverage of such gun owners to learn that they have a different definition of “responsible”.
Corner Stone
David Duke is having the most fun he’s had for twenty+ years. How they are going to keep Scalise in party leadership is going to be so delicious I can’t wait.
edited to add in Scalise’s name
jeffreyw
FedEx has had my calendar for over a week and they are taking their own sweet time. They turned it over to the local post office yesterday afternoon so I hope to have it today. Amazon Prime has spoiled me fucking rotten.
Mustang Bobby
I will add the Pets of Balloon Juice calendar to my collection of Classic Cars, Muscle Cars, Star Trek, and Stratford, Ontario calendars. I will always know what day it is.
As for Mr. Scalise and Mr. Duke, someone here in another thread reminded us that Barack Obama met Bill Ayres once fifteen years ago and, according to the RWNM, became his disciple. I will enjoy seeing how Fox News explains that it’s totally different.
Violet
@Mustang Bobby: It’s different because Republican. Duh. They won’t explain because they don’t need to explain. And how long before Scalise is identified as a Democrat by Fox News?
Mustang Bobby
And as the GOP House Whip, he’s RINO.
Fox is already working the Rev. Wright/David Duke angle. Wish I had the over/under on that one.
ET
I saw a story where a 2 year old in Idaho went into his mom’s purse and ended up shooting his mother with the loaded weapon she kept in her purse. I am sorry but can it really be that easy to fire a weapon?
Violet
@Corner Stone: I must be a bad person because when I heard about the shooting on the news last night I thought it sounded like a Darwin award. I feel terrible for the kid, who at two is too young to know what he did and will have to live with that forever, but the mom was at fault. If there are other children, it’s a tragedy for them as well.
Maybe the pro gun laws groups should start making TV commercials like the anti-smoking ones a few years ago where people “died” in public places, etc. Some harder hitting things like pictures of people who were shot with their own guns by their kid or dog or whatever and the phrase “Responsible Gun Owner” under each one after the description of how they were killed by their responsible gun ownership. Maybe use a clip from “The Princess Bride”: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
DCrefugee
@Corner Stone:
Kinda makes one wonder what it might take to be known as an “irresponsible gun owner”…
Regardless, perhaps the woman is best described as a “previously responsible gun owner.” Or “late and previously responsible gun owner.”
Gin & Tonic
@ET: It’s been discussed in probably half a dozen threads here since yesterday.
As I’ve said, in my opinion it is not a tragedy, and in fact it is not an accident, it is simply a statistical inevitability.
Gin & Tonic
@Mustang Bobby: From what I could tell from the closed-captioning on the inevitable TV turned to Fox at the gym when I was working out yesterday, this just shows how the liberals have a double standard. They turned a blind eye to Obama worshiping at the racist Wright’s church, but they’re all over poor Scalise who gave one speech one time to some group he didn’t even belong to and didn’t know anything about.
But, again, from what I could make out, even Krauthammer was basically calling Scalise an idiot.
Gin & Tonic
@DCrefugee: Good question. Was Adam Lanza’s mother a “responsible gun owner”? I can’t recall.
Corner Stone
@Gin & Tonic:
It’s a tragedy for the child, at the very least.
Cckids
@Violet: yes. I just read an article that quoted her father-in-law as being angry that this is being talked about as an issue of responsibility. “The gun was in a special purse, zipped into a compartment made for a firearm. She didn’t just throw it into some bag”.
Honestly, the lack of comprehension is staggering. The gun was in a place, unattended, where a TWO YEAR OLD could access it, get it out, & fire it. Kids that age do not have ninja reflexes; that gun/purse was unattended for some time.
The poor kids; apparently she had 4. And never went out unarmed. WTF was she so terrified of?? Apparently the wrong thing.
Elizabelle
@Corner Stone:
How responsible she would have looked had the 2-year old killed himself or another child, and not the “responsible gun-owning adult.”
What was she expecting to encounter in the electronics department of an Idaho Walmart, that she needed to have a loaded and maybe un-safetied gun at the ready?
@Violet: like your idea about “responsible gun owners” advertisements.
Make them objects of ridicule. I mean, if your dog can take you out. With your own weapon.
Elizabelle
@Gin & Tonic:
Newtown is giving thought to razing Nancy Lanza’s home, which they bought for $1, and making a park of the site.
Had she lived, I’d have liked to see Nancy Lanza sued out of existence. What a dumbass in denial. I have very little sympathy for her. She walled others off and did not get her child the care he needed. Which she could very well afford.
Gin & Tonic
@Corner Stone: Opinions differ.
MomSense
@Elizabelle:
This is what gets me. Aren’t crime rates at an all time low? What has everyone so scared that they have loaded weapons with them at all times?
Amir Khalid
@Gin & Tonic:
I agree that it was a statistical inevitability. But not that it wasn’t a tragedy. A woman needlessly dead thanks to her own recklessness is still dead.
For what it’s worth, I think it’s irresponsible to own a gun at all unless you really need one. Most who do hunt for some of their family’s food, or have the gun provided by their employer. ETA: Anyone else should think many times before they decide to buy a gun, or to keep those they already have.
srv
@Cckids:
The intertubes say Idaho’s population of ‘those’ people is 0.8%
I think we should just wall off a few states.
Mike E
@Gin & Tonic: Yep, like the firearms instructor who inadvertently shot himself while cleaning a weapon for the nth time…a .22 round, being small, got hung up in the works and the
unthinkableinevitable happened.Violet
@Elizabelle:
This is what will work. It will take courage for people to make commercials like that and for TV to air them. Maybe start on cable, I don’t know. Maybe late night comedians could do “Responsible Gun Owner” sketch (like on SNL) or Jon Stewart could do a recurring bit on “Responsible? What does that mean?” Maybe Larry Wilmore in his new show can talk about black folks owning guns and how they never seem to be “responsible gun owners.”
Betty Cracker
@Elizabelle: I didn’t know the city bought the house as well. Just read a piece (in the NYT, I think) the other day about the new school the district is building. I have mixed feelings about razing sites where awful things occurred. I totally understand the impulse, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense. And the money could be better used for other things, no doubt.
I tend to agree with you about Nancy Lanza. I do pity her for how alone and isolated she apparently was. I’m sure she never in a million years suspected her son was capable of something so terrible. But the guns I cannot forgive; it’s just inexcusable that she kept an arsenal and even encouraged her son to shoot when he was obviously disturbed. She paid a terrible price for her stupidity, but so did others who weren’t involved in her idiotic decision, and that’s the greater tragedy.
Corner Stone
@Gin & Tonic: I guess that’s true. My opinion is that the two year old lacks agency in this event, but will have to live with the knowledge of the outcome. That, in my opinion, makes it a tragedy for the child.
Elizabelle
@Corner Stone: Well said. #26
gogol's wife
@Corner Stone:
I agree.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@ET: Yeah. If it’s loaded, one in the chamber, cocked, and safety off. A condition I’m reluctant for my guns to be in when I’m at the firing line of a gun range (I go C3 all the way until I’m ready to start shooting, and then and only then go to C1. Much safer and takes no additional time) never mind walking around in Walmart.
Oh yeah, I don’t carry in Walmart or anyplace else because I live in California. Something for which I am grateful every day.
Lotta preparation had to go into this “accident”. And when you’ve got one live in the chamber and cocked, yes, a two year old can easily fire a gun. They’re designed that when you do all the prep work, they will fire.
Violet
@Corner Stone: Yes, exactly. The two year old didn’t know what he’d found in mom’s purse and had no idea what it could do. At some point he’ll know. He’ll have to live with that and that’s the tragedy. So terrible for him. Also a tragedy for her other kids who lost their mom.
Gin & Tonic
@Violet: Maybe when they grow up they won’t feel the need to carry a concealed weapon into Wal-Mart.
catclub
@MomSense:
Yes, But not Fox News and NY Post readership.
ETA: Just saw this:
>>>
Over the past two decades, what have the U.S. trends been for the following important measures of social health: high school dropout rates, college enrollment, juvenile crime, drunken driving, traffic deaths, infant mortality, life expectancy, per capita gasoline consumption, workplace injuries, air pollution, divorce, male-female wage equality, charitable giving, voter turnout, per capita GDP and teen pregnancy?
The answer for all of them is the same: The trend is positive. Almost all those varied metrics of social wellness have improved by more than 20% over the past two decades. And that’s not counting the myriad small wonders of modern medicine that have improved our quality of life as well as our longevity: the anti-depressants and insulin pumps and quadruple bypasses.
>>>
Violet
@Gin & Tonic: Well, one can hope. No matter what it’s terrible that the other kids lost their mom and it’s a tragedy for that two year old as he grows up and realizes what he did. It’s not his fault the gun was accessible and he was too young to know what it was. But he killed his mom. That’s undeniable and a terrible thing to have to live with.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@MomSense: Negroes and the cult of utter terror Faux has created around them.
I’m fucking serious.
donnah
I hate guns. I hate that Ohio just passed laws that reduce the training time for concealed carry owners from twelve hours to eight. Just what we need.
On a lighter note, I received my wonderful Pet Calendar and located my beloved Fiona cat on the December page. Such a luxurious kitty deserves a spot during the winter holiday.
It’s a great looking calendar!
Betty Cracker
Anyone watching TCU-Ole Miss? I can’t (working, goddamnit!), but I just checked the scoreboard, and Ole Miss is getting torched! It’s 21-zip fairly early in the 2nd quarter. Dayum!
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
@Betty Cracker: TCU must feel like it has something to prove . . .
Elizabelle
@Violet:
Makes me wonder how children whose mothers died following their birth dealt with that news. Used to happen a lot.
This little 2 year old had no more control over his mother’s death than they did.
BubbaDave
@Elizabelle:
A Negro. SATSQ.
Karen in GA
@MomSense:
That’s a lie the liberal media keeps pushing. If the crime rate’s that low, why do I keep seeing black people walking around?
/ moron
Tenar Darell
@Violet: I nominate you to design the messaging campaign!
emjayay
Quote posted above “The gun was in a special purse, zipped into a compartment made for a firearm. She didn’t just throw it into some bag”.
I guess that was one very precocious two year old. Who obviously knew there was a cool toy in there and how to get to it. And the mother, who wasn’t responsible, was packing heat into WalMart for no reason and left it for some time in the cart with a two year old was a responsible gun owner who was “taken” by Jesus.
Uh-huh.
SiubhanDuinne
LOL, I just heard someone on MSNBC say “New Year’s Eve preparations are underwear in Times Squay.” Maybe one of the best spoonerisms ever!
Full metal Wingnut
The wife and I just filled out an adoption application at our local Petco (it’s not actually through Petco, it’s a local organization that sets up shop there). Very docile yet affectionate 2 year old kitty. They said 2-3 days to get approved. I have my fingers crossed. I love the little feller already and I hope we get approved/they don’t approve someone else first. They’re only there for an hour or so and I didn’t see anyone else apply for him.
Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)
@Full metal Wingnut:
Congratulations and I hope you get him. You should check out Werebear’s site, Way of Cats. Your new friend may not stay docile (though he will probably remain affectionate) once he feels secure. Buy him lots of toys to work off the pent-up energy of having to be a well-behaved foster kitty.
Full metal Wingnut
@Mnemosyne (iPad Mini): Interesting, thanks for the advice. Well, it looks like my wife is getting sniffly so it may be a no go. I think they’ll let us foster him for a week so we’ll see.