Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

I really should read my own blog.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Let’s finish the job.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Second rate reporter says what?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

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From the Department of WTF? (Open Thread)

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Can this really be a thing?

tortoise cozy

It’s from a Regretsy tribute Tumblr.

I stayed up too late catching up on the final season of “Sons of Anarchy,” which is an awful, terrible show. I hate every single character — even the children. I’m about half way through it, but if I had any sense, I’d delete it from my library and find a YouTube of people knitting tortoise cozies to watch instead.

Speaking of ways to squander precious time, there are two NFL games on today: Bengals v Colts and Lions v Cowboys. I don’t give a shit about any of those four teams and only actively dislike one (the Cowboys) enough enjoy rooting for their defeat.

Maybe I’ll knit tortoise-shaped chicken cozies instead. Open thread.

Reader Interactions

106Comments

  4. 4.

    burnspbesq

    Conference play has started in basketball. FFS, college lacrosse starts four weeks from today.

    Organized brain damage has overstayed its welcome. It needs to crawl back under whatever rock it emerged from.

  6. 6.

    burnspbesq

    There was sports coverage before Stu, and sports coverage after Stu, and they are very different.

    Hoping he will find Heaven as cool as the other side of the pillow.

  7. 7.

    c u n d gulag

    I don’t so much hate the players on the Cowboys, as the fans.
    The players don’t have much choice – they get drafted.
    But the fans – JAYZOOS!
    Are they obnoxious.
    But only when they win.
    If they have a rotten season – as they have for most of the last 20 years – you don’t hear a single ‘peep’ out of ’em.
    But let Tony Romo win a few games, and they’re ALL in your face.

    We had a guy down in NC at the company I worked for: A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE Cowboys fan!
    Late in 2007, early 2008, when the NY Giants were going to play Dallas in the first round of the playoff’s he went on ant on all week about how his “‘Boy’s” were going to destroy the Giants.

    I guess he didn’t have enough sick-time accrued to miss the whole month of January, when the Giants went on to win the Super Bowl, but he did call in sick for a few days after the Giants beat his “‘Boys.”

    probably lost because of the saddle sores they got on the drive to NJ.
    Oh, WAIT!
    The Giants beat them at THEIR home!
    In ‘The Park That Jerry’s Billions Built!”
    Obnoxious assholes – ALL OF ‘EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. 8.

    c u n d gulag

    I don’t so much hate the players on the Cowboys, as the fans.
    The players don’t have much choice – they get drafted.
    But the fans – JAYZOOS!
    Are they obnoxious.
    But only when they win.
    If they have a rotten season – as they have for most of the last 20 years – you don’t hear a single ‘peep’ out of ’em.
    But let Tony Romo win a few games, and they’re ALL in your face.

    We had a guy down in NC at the company I worked for: A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE Cowboys fan!
    Late in 2007, when the NY Giants were going to play Dallas in the first round of the playoff’s he went on ant on all week about how his “‘Boy’s” were going to destroy the Giants.

    I guess he didn’t have enough sick-time accrued to miss the whole month of January, when the Giants went on to win the Super Bowl, but he did call in sick for a few days after the Giants beat his “‘Boys.”

    probably lost because of the saddle sores they got on the drive to NJ.
    Oh, WAIT!
    The Giants beat them at THEIR home!
    Obnoxious assholes – ALL OF ‘EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. 9.

    Amir Khalid

    I went to the site. I think the pug modelling the Doggie Boob Scarf has the right opinion of it.

  11. 11.

    PsiFighter37

    Hardly can stand ESPN nowadays, but Stuart Scott was iconic ’90s SportsCenter memories for me when I was a kid. Hard to believe he’s gone, and at such a young age too. Cancer sucks.

    RIP

  13. 13.

    the Conster

    Thanks for the SoA tip Betty – watched ep1 S1 because people whose taste in TV I respect love the show but I hate it and couldn’t imagine forcing myself to watch more. And I love Mad Men, whose characters aren’t exactly lovable.

    ETA: Tortoises with severed heads on them are also something I can watch and find to be compelling TV.

  14. 14.

    JPL

    Netflix instant is showing Season 1 of Hinterland. If you like dark crime stories with twists and turns, you might consider watching that. Myself, I don’t mind a show with a little sunshine.

  15. 15.

    feebog

    Ravens/Steelers was a good game last night. I don’t give a fig about the Bengals/Colts games, so I’m going on a hike with my grandson for the first half. Hoping the Lions put a big world of hurt on the Cowboys later today.

  16. 16.

    burnspbesq

    Oh, please, football gods, let your benevolent light shine down on Sheffield Wednesday for another 45 minutes, plus stoppage time.

  17. 17.

    ruemara

    I’m happy to note a lack of houseguests today, but houseguest took roommate. Which means super codependent cat has been crying intermittently since about 3 am. A nice, new behavior issue. Those two need to put the cat above playing pretend household constantly.

  18. 18.

    MomSense

    You should see all the “wee willie warmer” patterns on ravelry. I can’t believe anyone would want to wrap their willies in scratchy wool but apparently they are quite popular.

  20. 20.

    Amir Khalid

    @MomSense:
    I don’t know how you could give a “wee willie warmer” to someone without giving offence. You’d be hinting, not at all subtly, that their willie was both wee and in need of warming.

  21. 21.

    MomSense

    @Amir Khalid:

    I might have to rethink making wee willie warmers. Seems like they could be the perfect gift for all the dicks in one’s life.

    ETA perfect for ex husbands, the annoying neighbor who fires up the snow blower at 4:00 a.m.

  23. 23.

    raven

    Looks like the cameras are going to focus on a few cops with their backs turned to the fucking TV screen of the mayor’s eulogy.

  26. 26.

    MomSense

    @Amir Khalid:

    Judging from the pictures of finished wee willie warmers, the knitters are giving them for real. There are also woolen thongs. I’m going to go back to ignoring the existence of these items.

  28. 28.

    bemused

    Louie Gohmert wants to challenge Boehner for speaker job. Imagining Gohmert as speaker is simultaneously entertaining and horrifying.

  30. 30.

    danielx

    @bemused:

    Imagining Gohmert as speaker is simultaneously entertaining and horrifying.

    Quite.

    In the admittedly unlikely event that Gohmert’s challenge succeeds, look for impeachment proceedings to begin the day after he takes office as Speaker.

  33. 33.

    MaxL

    The same thing just happened to me watching Breaking Bad. Several years ago I watched the first 2 seasons and was amazed at the perfect arc. Season 2 ends with the airplane wreckage falling into the pool and Walt has lost everything he was trying to save. Brilliant. The first 2 seasons of Breaking Bad are like a dead sharp 20 hour movie

    Last week I started watching Season 3. Don’t do it. Within 8 episodes, Walt now works in a fantasy lab where he fires a chemist easily competent enough to do anything Walt himself does in order to hire Pinkman (who is beyond loathesome at this point) to make supermeth, Hank is a PTSD superhero chased by cartel super villains. Nothing is believable, the whole thing is beyond stupid. And I couldn’t care less about any of the cartoon characters. Skyler and the ridiculous lawyer in particular.

    I should have just left well enough alone and stood pat at the end of Season 2.

  37. 37.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I don’t like any of those four teams either but I hold the Lions in special contempt for the behavior of Suh.

  40. 40.

    KCIvey

    I thought “Sons of Anarchy” jumped the shark with the Ireland trip (and of course the baby, which a traditional method for a show to jump the shark). I haven’t been back to it since that season, and I assume I’m not missing much.

  41. 41.

    piratedan

    @danielx: well we could then witness the Id of the GOP on display everyday and the media would have to report it, right? Just like they refuse to show Presidential addresses these days… if it happens, expect the media types to lose a lot of weight due to all of the spinning going on. In a way, I hope it’s true, maybe these worthy opponents need to have their idiocy made more manifest everyday.

  42. 42.

    the Conster

    @MaxL:

    Them’s fightin’ words. That season you’re referencing is critical – CRITICAL – to the whole dramatic unfolding that brings it to an end – an end btw that is one of the most satisfying endings ever to a TV show.

  44. 44.

    JordanRules

    Rest well Stu. Your impact is far and wide; it will be felt for generations.

    I haven’t watched the Big Mouse’s sports outfit in about a decade or so, but Stu and the esspen crew were part of the soundtrack to my youth in the 90’s. So sad he’s gone, but so wonderful to hear all the tributes to him, how he lived life and how he changed the sports anchor game. Nice job by Eisen, I know it was tough.

  45. 45.

    MaxL

    @Betty Cracker: I really did want to like it. Maybe I was just too impressed with the first 2 seasons. But I think I am going to stop. The show really has lost it’s grit. It wasn’t “magical realism” before season 3.. It’s as if Vince Gilligan had a great show plotted out for 2 seasons and then made a different show altogether with the same characters.

    You didn’t find the idea of a super lab that is anything but “secret” considering all the people who must know about it, run by a super kingpin to make super meth just flat out silly and a complete left turn from where the show had been? And the ridiculous twins shooting it out with Hank?

    On the other hand, last year I really enjoyed True Detective, Fargo and even The Bridge.

  46. 46.

    Howard Beale IV

    @danielx: They still haven’t approved Holder’s replacement, so maybe Gohmert will go after him first as a warm-up and leave the USAG spot vacant for the rest of Obama’s term.

  47. 47.

    MaxL

    And FWIW, the first thing they did in season 3 was to take Walt’s illness out of the equation. That really does make Walt a completely different character. I get it, he is becoming an anti-hero, but still a much less compelling one.

    And, as of S3 episode 8, Jesse has now accepted that he is a bad guy (while Walt is under the illusion that he is not) but Jesse blames Walt for all the bad things that have happened to him. Whatever.

  48. 48.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    Not to start a war or anything, but that’s crocheted, not knitted. Crocheters are notorious for making … Interesting objects, like toilet paper cozies.

    (I have to be careful, because knitters vs crocheters can be like Sharks vs Jets in “West Side Story.”)

    And, yes, chicken sweaters are a thing, though they started out being made for rescue hens:

    http://www.themarysue.com/chicken-sweaters/

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @KCIvey: That’s when I gave up, too, Ireland and the baby. I’ve heard there was a lot of good stuff in later seasons, but that whole plot line just turned me off

  51. 51.

    kindness

    We has a red eared slider turtle for a couple years. Man that thing could foul a tank in seconds. While watching it shred it’s food and gulp it down was entertaining, cleaning up after it sucked. Now while watching a tortoise shred lettuce might be equally fun I can only imagine cleaning up after it, especially one dragging around a wrap around it would be no less gross. But…very cute pic. Kudos.

  56. 56.

    wasabi gasp

    @MaxL: The show plays like a graphic novel, so I can’t fault the cartoony aspects, but the plot sagged and stretched enough after the first few seasons that I didn’t finish out the series.

  57. 57.

    Heliopause

    For the love of God, call your congressperson and tell him/her to vote for Louie Gohmert for Speaker.

  58. 58.

    PurpleGirl

    Downton Abbey, season 5 starts tonight. On a similar note, the Smithsonian Channel is starting a three-show series on the American heiresses who married into the British aristocracy (Million Dollar American Princesses).

  59. 59.

    funar

    Delete SOA and never speak of it again. Awful soul deadening series with no redeeming features. Awful, awful, awful…

  60. 60.

    PurpleGirl

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yup. We crocheters can be very silly, but it’s fun. (Besides I was paid a stipend by the Toronto ad agency we made the water cozy for.) And I shouldn’t forget the hyperbolic crocheted coral reef…

  62. 62.

    PurpleGirl

    @raven: I didn’t actually watch much of Season 4 because it was soap-like. Yes, I hope they get back to some serious story telling.

    I’m looking forward to Smithsonian Channel series on American heiresses. So many Americans married into British families, like the Churchills.

  66. 66.

    wasabi gasp

    @wasabi gasp: Although, I find most, maybe all, multi-season series’ suffer from a desperate saggy stretch to some degree or another. So, maybe it’s me.

    @MaxL: Out-of-character pawns in service to a runaway plot.

  71. 71.

    SRW1

    @Amir Khalid:

    I understand. On the other hand, and as we sadly see in this episode again, the little guys most often need all the support they can get.

  75. 75.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I don’t give a shit about any of those four teams and only actively dislike one (the Cowboys) enough enjoy rooting for their defeat.

    Three reasons to hate the Cowboys:

    1. Their asshole owner

    2. The entire “America’s Team” thing

    3. Once, back in the 70’s, they beat my beloved Rams and kept them out of the playoffs. I do not forget such things.

  77. 77.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Sherparick: SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS

    Scott was one of the best of the ESPN anchors. Waaaaay too young. If you’re going to take a sports commentator, FSM, you should have taken Brent Musberger.

  78. 78.

    Howard Beale IV

    @Villago Delenda Est: The last time the Lions and the Cowboys had a playoff game was back in 1991-the Lions tore the Cowboys apart.

    I don’t think the Lions will be that lucky today, especially since they’re playing at Dallas.

  84. 84.

    MaxL

    @wasabi gasp: That sounds right. And I think your point about it becoming a graphic novel is very apt. The change from season 2 to season 3 was jarring that way – from the moment the supertwins enter the scene. Where Tuco was over the top, his cousins are just cartoons. A chrome axe spiked in the asphalt, seriously?

  87. 87.

    Goblue72

    @MaxL: Like any of it was believable. It was ridiculous from Season One. It just amped up the silly each season over next.

  89. 89.

    Not Adding Much to the Community

    SOA is a good show. If you choke on Season three, I recommend skipping the bulk and watching the last two or three episodes of the season to see the wrap up and setup for season four. Furthermore, I will not be lectured on entertainment by somebody who thinks watching football is a good use of the television. :P

  90. 90.

    The Thin Black Duke

    Why are you watching a TV series you hate, Betty? Life’s too short, y’know? Give Orphan Black a chance. Or Slings and Arrows. Or…

  99. 99.

    Beatrice

    @JPL: I was a little disappointed in Hinterland. I don’t mind dark. The stories are great, and the scenery spectacular, but….. Mild spoiler alert: it’s great to have mysterious back stories for your characters, but eventually you do want some of it to be revealed. At the end of the series you don’t know any more about the characters than when you started.

    Happy Valley, on the other hand, was terrific.

  100. 100.

    Goblue72

    @Howard Beale IV: I expected them to lose – I did not expect them to get pimp slapped up and down the field like a bottom bunk bizzatch. That was just embarrassing.

  102. 102.

    pete mack

    It’s the whole”America’s Team” thing. No, they are not my team. While that phrase is long retired, the announcers don’t even pretend to be evenhanded when Dallas plays. And a huge fraction of them ARE ex-Cowboys.

  104. 104.

    wasabi gasp

    Here’s a chuckle at my expense plus a series recommendation. I’ve turned cold to investing in most series’, especially the multi-season stuff, ever since John from Cincinnati was canceled. (Giggleblurtenspritz!) My girlfriend, though, is a bit of a series fiend, so I get to actively ignore a bunch of them all the time. One that I found impossible to ignore is The Missing. The first season had a solid ending, which gave me the impression it was just a one season show, but it’s been renewed for another.

  105. 105.

    debbie

    @MaxL:

    You’ll really miss a lot if you stop watching. Taken as a whole, BB’s one of the best series ever (and SOA is not far behind, in my opinion).

    While you can’t expect every single episode to be 1000% genius, rereading your second paragraph makes me think we’ve watched two totally different shows.

  106. 106.

    J R in WV

    @pete mack:

    Yes, exactly. How can Troy Aikman cover a football game where his team (NOT America’s Team) is playing? How can any ex-NFL star cover games where their ex-teams are playing?

    I always thought sports coverage was a subset of journalism, but evidently not at all.

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