Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

You cannot shame the shameless.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Republicans in disarray!

The revolution will be supervised.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

This really is a full service blog.

We still have time to mess this up!

Peak wingnut was a lie.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

It’s a doggy dog world.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: Social Media Kidz, These Days

Open Thread: Social Media Kidz, These Days

by | 130 Comments

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For the past day or two, I’ve been seeing some very inexplicable-even-by-twitter-standards stuff on the tweetstreams. David Roth at Vice Sports finally explained this new “thing” for me, and you:

It’s greatly to Twitter’s credit that no one has yet figured out a productive use for it… It is a place to flush our puns and dispose of our surplus thoughts and spoonerisms, and that is valuable, but there is the question of what all those words are actually worth. Are they just millions of plastic bags clotting the virtual ocean? Or are they poems, each of them, waiting to be read as such?

Ha, just kidding, it’s the “millions of plastic bags” thing for sure. But the site Poetweet is doing its best to advance the idea that there’s some poetry hidden in our Twitter feeds, and uses an algorithm (presumably) to mine old tweets, chop them into iambic pentameter, and turn them into poems. If you can handle soaking in your own fragmented mundanities, you should absolutely try it yourself…

Since I am only a twit-lurker (I can get into enough trouble just with FYWP, thanks) I tried feeding Poetweet “inspiration” from our Blogmaster…

Behind that
by John Cole

Meat for his drooling readers?
Out of bounds to get to the one.
Is too small for my fat fingers.
By next week he will act alone.

Decisions. What is a “deportable?”
In next generation power sources.
This is on SNL, but it is horrible
That Judy Miller’s WMD pieces.

That everyone is a sociopath.
Detroit got J O B JOBBED.
Condemn the turkey to death…
.

(Yes: If this, my fellow Juicers, cannot attract a bigfooting puppy-update post from Himself…. well, I’ve done my best.)

Reader Interactions

130Comments

  1. 1.

    debit

    That was a thing of beauty, truly.

    ETA: Okay, I had to try it for myself. Awesomeness.

    Roll hard
    by debinmn

    Gone for a few days then returned.
    Out of 100s to light his cigars?
    By 3 pm. Ah well. Lesson learned.
    Then I started watching the Bears.

    When in doubt, ask your sister.
    Is Sing?
    I’d use. Awesome works better.
    Ear worm. Will to live fading.

    Unexpected movieage.
    Hmm. Feel up to 45 miles?
    Have a cold, alcoholic beverage.
    Dinner with two rarely seen uncles.
    I am prepared for the carnage.

  7. 7.

    debit

    @JPL: Maybe you should ride 45 miles and have a cold, alcoholic beverage. See, if you rolled hard, you’d know.

  11. 11.

    glocksman

    Since this is an open thread, post this as ‘strangest police encounter ever’.

    Back in 1988, a buddy was sent home from Germany on compassionate leave by the Army because his Dad died.

    He had no way back to St.Louis to catch the return flight, so I offered to drive him there.

    Anyway, we leave Evansville a few hours earlier than needed ‘just incase’.
    When we get into St.Louis, there was some kind of big parade going on that blocked off the roads, so we pulled over to wait.
    About 10 minutes later I saw flashing lights in my mirror and thought ‘Oh fuck’.
    A city cop walked up to the car and instead of asking for the paperwork (IN resident and plates), asked if one of us would be willing to drive his car half a mile up the road because he had to patrol on foot that distance.

    Jeff said sure, and then got out and drove the police car the half mile up the road.

    I still can’t believe a cop would ask out of state strangers to drive his car.

    Of course we’re both white and Jeff was wearing his uniform.

  12. 12.

    debit

    @JPL: That actually hurt. I may have cried real tears.

    ETA: It reminded me of MegaHal. Does anyone else remember MegaHal? That was some entertaining shit for while, until it got creepily repetitive.

  17. 17.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Thou knows’t a bigfoot puppy update looms,
    Else would a slobb’ry tongue defile my cheek,
    Ho, Thurston! Steve! and Lily! pose thou hence
    Before the cam’ra’s unforgiving lens,
    And prithee seek Miss Rosie; Ginger too;
    And dainty Lovey, if she dare be seen.
    The shade of Tunch doth hover o’er them all
    With love beneficent, a floofy ghost.
    Crank up the lights; bid all the beasts to smile;
    And we shall ask, with minimum of guile,
    That John Cole tell us, howsoe’er he may,
    How Ginger, Thurston, Lovey bide this day.

  18. 18.

    jl

    AL faked the Cole Poetweet. No curse words or vulgarity at all. How could that be? I don’t care what evidence she presents.
    I am a troofer on this. Case closed.

    Edit: has AL’s poetweet reformatted the comments? Looks classy this way. I like it.

  19. 19.

    jl

    @Gin & Tonic: Sorry, I see others noticed if first. Don’t you think this classes up the comments? Not that they would need that, of course.

    Edit: too bad. Nice while it lasted.

  21. 21.

    glocksman

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I’m over the withdrawal now, but still feeling a little weak.
    In another day or 2, I should be fine but I’ll be job hunting because this episode cost me my job.

    I’m not going to whine about it because my former employer has been more than accommodating about it, and there comes a point where they just have to say ‘no mas’.

  22. 22.

    Elizabelle

    Watching the late great and very handsome Aussie Rod Taylor in TCM’s tribute tonight.

    The Time Machine now. One of the morlocks had man boobs.

    The Birds up next. Taping The Glass Bottom Boat and, after, Young Cassidy (about the 1916?? troubles in Ireland??)

  25. 25.

    Major Major Major Major

    “To understand”

    You can’t have one of the gloves.
    Automaton looks a lot like a face
    The song has few adjectives.
    You forgot Yours Is No Disgrace

    The shoulder right now and forever
    Didn’t answer my question.
    Had Edison bulbs. How clever.
    In the grader distribution.

    From their civilian commander
    From depression: thanks! A lot!
    All know is an indifferent spider
    Is a small town in Maine. /plot
    Cooper > FBI agent Fox Mulder.

  26. 26.

    JasonF

    Chris Christie has launched a PAC called Leadership Matters for America. The website is LeadershipMattersForAmerica.Org, or LMFAO.

  34. 34.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Bob In Portland: Funny. “Russia provoked into full-frontal hostility.”

    Last I checked, Russian troops were in Ukraine; Ukrainian troops are not in Russia. Some provocation.n

  36. 36.

    glocksman

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    He probably could have, but the weirdest thing to me was that the patrol car was a Dodge K-Car instead of the full size Chevy and Ford V8’s I was used to seeing here in Evansville.

    Though the way it was explained to me later was ‘you might outrun a car but you can’t outrun the helicopters or the radios.’

  37. 37.

    Roger Moore

    Yes: If this, my fellow Juicers, cannot attract a bigfooting puppy-update post from Himself…. well, I’ve done my best.

    Sorry, but this is like washing your car to make it rain; the effect only shows up when you aren’t trying to provoke it.

    Anyway, here’s what it makes of my meager corpus:

    Testifying about
    by Roger Moore

    Isn’t a flaw to true believers.
    On RFRA, not the 1st Amendment.
    Know how they sound to outsiders.
    Again be grounds for harassment.

    Raise money to save an orphanage
    Now he’s just trolling.
    Is what did most of the damage.
    Foster cat videos start arriving?

    Predominantly minorities, never.
    I like that one better.
    Worst! Speaker! Ever!

    Getting ready to donate platelets.
    How NASA faked the moon landings
    Master of Puppets

  46. 46.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Bob In Portland: “Russia this week finally responded to the Kiev regime’s incorrigible banditry by giving notice that it is to cut off all gas supplies that transit through Ukraine”

    Come on, Bob. This has no basis in fact and you know it. Here’s what Gazprom said: “The transit risks in Ukraine remain this winter, since Ukraine due to financial difficulties was not able to buy the necessary volume of Russian gas in November and December last year and significantly reduced its reserves of gas in underground storage,” Gazprom chief Alexei Miller was cited as saying in a statement after meeting the new European Commissioner for Energy Union, Maros Sefcovic.

    “Transit risks remain” is not “giving notice that it is to cut off all gas supplies.” As you love to say, cui bono? Who is hurt if Gazprom shuts off the tap?

  50. 50.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @glocksman: On a more serious note, I missed your comment in yesterday’s post. I’ve been there(ER and a week in the hospital), it’s better without the boozy stuff.

    Bill+0

  52. 52.

    Bob In Portland

    Got my hand on my heart.
    I’m doing my part.
    It’s just a small war,
    but at least it’s a start.
    So let’s take a swipe
    at a guy we dislike,
    wipe out that smile
    with one quick airstrike.
    We’ve got five year-olds in camouflage,
    patriotic hits with a bullet you can’t dodge.
    Let’s fly unfriendly skies where the peace is their Mirage.
    Buy our brand of democracy.
    Big ships in a small sea.

    In the land of palm trees
    this war was a breeze.
    They line their crooked streets
    cheering you and me.
    We flatten their stores,
    treat their women like whores.
    A few kids get killed,
    but, hell, this is war.
    See us jumping out of aeroplanes,
    kicking ass and taking names,
    just like the ads on the Sunday football games.
    It’s a kind of destiny.
    Big ships in a small sea.

    Watching TV
    my eyes are fatigued.
    Is the war over yet?
    Who’s the enemy?
    They hide everywhere.
    They don’t fight fair.
    I keep asking myself
    what are we doing there?
    Well, it seems this time
    we hit a snag.
    Boys come back in body bags.
    Fighting someone else’s war is such a drag.
    From here to eternity
    big ships in a small sea.

  53. 53.

    glocksman

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Thank you.

    Considering that I’ve only had 2 jobs since age 18 leaves me somewhat hopeful that despite my age (47), that I can get on at Toyota, one of their suppliers, or someone else that cares about longevity.

    Like I said, it’s my fault and if even if I wind up in a homeless shelter for a few months, I at least still have that record and my car ( 2008 Kia Spectra with low miles) is fully paid for.

  54. 54.

    Bob In Portland

    @Ripley: How long for you? I figured BJers, given their ability to eventually recognize that the WMD okeydoke was a lie, would have figured out Ukraine. Maybe another couple of years?

    By the way, you didn’t read anything I linked to, did you?

  55. 55.

    Ripley

    By the way, you didn’t read anything I linked to, did you?

    That you linked to it is a disqualifier, hon. It would be akin to ordering the lunch special on the waiter’s recommendation: a consensual date with poison.

  59. 59.

    Bob In Portland

    @Ripley: Oh, so very closed-minded. You should last for a couple more years before you tsk tsk what we’re doing in Ukraine.

    I think that a lot of people here are really afraid of reading what I post to because they want to be in the in-crowd of BJers. Well, you’ll remain among the know-nothings for a long time.

    I bet your parents must be proud of you having such a closed mind. I know your fellow BJers are.

  63. 63.

    Bob In Portland

    For Ripley:

    It is time to attempt that hardest of things—to see ourselves for who we are, to see what it is we are doing and what is being done to us.

    Two things prompt the thought. We have the latest news on Washington’s confrontation with Russia, and we have a newly precipitous decline in the national conversation on this crisis. In my estimation, we reach dangerous new lows in both respects.

    It is always difficult for the living to see themselves as suspended in history. Being up against the rock face of events, being the stuff of which events are made, allows no distance, and achieving perspective without any takes an arduous effort.

    But we have to make an attempt at this field of vision now. Every moment counts as history, but some passages are bigger than others. And this, ours, is very big as of the last 10 days, maybe two weeks.

    We are now invited to let this time take a place alongside the frenzied interval that preceded the American attack on the Spanish in 1898, the Red Scare of the post-1917 period and the second, very deadly (and deadening) McCarthyist scare of the late-1940s and 1950s. Join me, please, in insisting we are a better people than this.

    Konstantin Sonin, a professor at a much-celebrated research university in Moscow, gave the New York Times an interesting quotation over the weekend. “The country is on a holy mission. It’s at war with the United States,” Sonin said. “So why would you bother about the small battleground, the economy?”

    Think about this, and do so in two dimensions. There is the question of war, and then the question of “small battlegrounds.” What is this man talking about? What assumptions lie behind this remark? What are the implications?

    You’ve supported the Nazis in Ukraine for a year now. And Monsanto and ConAgra. You’re supporting John McCain. All by keeping you mind shut tight.

  65. 65.

    HR Progressive

    “Sincere belief”

    Of lethal police failures?
    Huntsman Jr. of 2016 if he runs.
    Increase ratings, who really cares?

    Longer get to make the laws about same.
    You poor bastard. Condolences.
    Isn’t the team who loses the game

    Need to know if you’re middle class

    To condemn those crimes. (3)

  66. 66.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @glocksman: I missed the backstory, and I’m sorry to hear about your job. I’m thinking good thoughts for a quick new job for you. Be well.

  69. 69.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Bob In Portland: Minds shut tight. Funny.

    Remember in February of 2014 when you told me I had blood on my hands, because the synagogues in Kiev were going to go up in flames? How’d that prediction work out? Which side do Ukraine’s Jews support now?

  72. 72.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @glocksman:

    I didn’t know anything about your situation until late this afternoon, but I’m happy and relieved to know that you’re okay. There are — as I’m sure you know — a bunch of terrific people at this place, who can offer great advice and suggestions as well as the most absorbent of shoulders. We’re all on your side.

  77. 77.

    Violet

    Hey, there used to be a Front Pager who posted here. Guy by the name of John Cole. Anyone remember him? Does he post here anymore?

  79. 79.

    glocksman

    @efgoldman:

    Well, there is that.
    As a base I’m going to count myself lucky if I get half of that back.
    Unlucky if for some reason the the IRS says I owe 60+ as taxes.

  81. 81.

    Scamp Dog

    @JasonF: Oh my. I’ve looked at the site, and can’t decide if it’s a prank or not. It seems kind of small (three pages total, I think), but they’re asking for money, which I don’t think a prankster would do. Or maybe they’re the kind of pranksters that think that if somebody was really that gullible, they’d deserve to get fleeced. No matter what, I’m entertained. Thanks, JasonF!

  84. 84.

    Roger Moore

    @Gin & Tonic:
    I haven’t done a photo workshop either as presenter or attendee. I’ve encountered plenty in the Moab area, though; you can’t go to any of the famous spots without a good chance of running into one. I think I’ve seen them more often than not when photographing Mesa Arch at sunrise, for instance.

    Part of my response is that I’m constantly amazed that I share my name not only with one amazingly famous person but also with a bunch of people who do stuff that I care about and are drastically better known than me, e.g. photograph, role playing games, computers, etc. I’m just glad that I seem to be a bit better known than the other mass spectrometrist who shares my name.

  85. 85.

    glocksman

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The sad thing is if I was a Teabagger, most of them would be saying ‘die, you bloodsucker, die’.
    Considering that I live in Indiana, even before this developed I’m one of the few here who argued for single payer healthcare, it’s still ironic.

    In fact, one of the MHT’s at a treatment center commented to me that our local area seems to have more addicts as a percentage than almost every other area in the country.

    That’s anecdotal evidence of course, but it still makes me wonder.

  87. 87.

    Bob In Portland

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Have they written about Ukraine?

    I’ve been a fan of Thomas Frank since the early Baffler days. THE CONQUEST OF COOL was a great book. Andrew O’Hehir? Meh. I read him since the nineties when he was published in the SF Weekly. Camile Paglia? Please.

  89. 89.

    Bob In Portland

    For the lovely RIpley.

    In 1976 Mort Sahl had a book called HEARTLAND. In it he asked How many lies do you have to believe before you become part of the lie?

    I say that the majority of BJers are now part of the lie.

  90. 90.

    jl

    no one’s done Kruman? I tried Tom Friedman, but it was boring and nothing scanned.

    One Chart
    by Paul Krugman

    Synthesis Lost
    Ordoarithmetic
    Changes (Repost)
    Secular Stagnation Arithmetic

    International Mensch Fund
    That Dares Not Speak Its Name
    Offshore and Underground
    The Structural Fetish

    Graphs
    Istanbearish
    Award-winning Paragraphs

    People Should Take My Advice
    Predictions and Prejudice
    (Amateur Historical Speculation)

  91. 91.

    Bob In Portland

    In November of last year, Mikhail Gorbachev first warned “the world is on the brink of a new Cold War.” Then around the turn of the year he escalated his warning, fearing “a war of this kind could lead to a nuclear war,” hoping that no one “loses their nerve in this overheated situation.” Today, in an interview with Russian news agency Interfax, the 83-year-old former Soviet leader, asks “have they lost their minds?” raging that “the U.S. has already dragged us into a new Cold War, trying to openly implement its idea of triumphalism,” warning that “the ‘cold’ war will “lead to a ‘hot’ war,” concluding “The U.S. has been totally ‘lost in the jungle’ and is dragging us there as well.”

  92. 92.

    jl

    Maybe I am part of the lie, maybe not. I don’t know. I would prefer to get my information on the Ukraine/Russia/US/Europe mess elsewhere than this blog. No offense intended to anyone(s).

    Edit: though I do appreciate the links from various parties. Some of them seem reliable. Many do not.

  94. 94.

    jl

    @Violet:

    Has Cole reached the ‘dude cashes out’ stage yet? (edit: from what I gather through baseless speculation out of my ass, this blog should be making him rich!)

    I don’t remember seeing the ‘this blog will pay for itself’ rotating header recently. Not sure what that means.

  95. 95.

    NotMax

    @Violet

    Has to go the “premium subscription” model first in order to build up that nest egg.

    All those critters don’t feed themselves.

  97. 97.

    jl

    @NotMax: I hear that lot of readers have been asking for their money back. Hope Cole hasn’t spent it all.

    Edit: second puppix requests. And nightly pupdate special.

  98. 98.

    mainmati

    Actually Twitter is widely used by businesses government and NGOs and others to “twittercast” news about events, to link to sites and incidents, etc. It’s not just about blathering.

  100. 100.

    max

    Ha, just kidding, it’s the “millions of plastic bags” thing for sure. But the site Poetweet is doing its best to advance the idea that there’s some poetry hidden in our Twitter feeds, and uses an algorithm (presumably) to mine old tweets, chop them into iambic pentameter, and turn them into poems. If you can handle soaking in your own fragmented mundanities, you should absolutely try it yourself…

    So on the day I start seeing this stuff… Rod McKuen dropped dead:

    Rod McKuen, a ubiquitous poet, lyricist and songwriter whose work met with immense commercial success if little critical esteem, died on Thursday in Beverly Hills, Calif. He was 81.

    max
    [‘I guess his job here was done.’]

  101. 101.

    burnspbesq

    @efgoldman:

    It’s even worse than you’ve described. 401(k) distributions before age 59-½ that aren’t rolled over are subject to an additional 10 percent tax.

    Glocks, roll that distribution over to an IRA unless you have absolutely no other money.

  102. 102.

    Morzer

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/lol–3

    I had not seen this statement put up by Speaker Boehner’s office trying to explain away the Boehner-Netanyahu speech debacle. For starters, the statement appears geared to suggest that reports questioning the incident are part of some sort of anti-Semitic conspiracy theory – claims that the Israelis “orchestrated” the invitation. But to the point, the statement has Boehner instructing Amb. Dermer not to tell the White House what they were agreeing to.

    “The Speaker made it clear [to Amb. Dermer] that it was his prerogative to inform the White House. We then went about identifying potential dates for an address. On the afternoon of January 20, the day of the State of the Union, we informed Ambassador Dermer of our intent to issue the invitation and our intent to notify the administration of the invitation. He accepted and acknowledged our intent to do so.”

    On the off chance this is true, this makes the whole thing only more comical. The Ambassador is presumably a grown up and knows about diplomatic protocol and how to be an Ambassador. He really lets himself be drawn into this sort of skullduggery and trickterism within an allied government, his government’s prime international protector? Really? So he allows himself to be drawn into what is – take your pick – a dispute between political parties in the host country or between branches of government?

    Words honestly fail me. I don’t which side of this comes out worse. Boehner for screwing around in this cretinous fashion and possibly doing major damage to an extremely important aspect of our foreign policy, or the Israelis for trying to interfere in our domestic politics in such a snivelingly stupid way. Frankly, I think we should find a small Middle Eastern city without amenities and shut Likud and the GOP up in it together and intermittently bomb the crap out it and see whether they learn some lessons in human decency and sanity.

  103. 103.

    jl

    @mainmati: OK, I’m game. I think @GOP is the National Republican Committee twitter feed. I got this, which i think is kinda weird.

    Camo hat
    by RNC

    Use of private jets while in office
    Higher than at any time since 1950
    Material. Pick your choice.

    Priorities, Does agree?
    Headed for a runoff. Help us fire
    Hat! Our popular item, free!

    By friends and loved ones.”

    & data analysis companies?

  105. 105.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Bob In Portland: Call me biased, but I think a useful step toward de-escalating this “overheated situation” might be for Russia to remove its troops from Ukrainian territory.

  106. 106.

    Violet

    @jl: Blog might be costing him money, which is reason enough to call it quits.

    @NotMax: Unless he doesn’t want to keep funding it just so we can talk amongst ourselves.

    @Suzanne: Last pupdate was Sunday and it was only Thurston. Been ages since we’ve seen Ginger.

  108. 108.

    Morzer

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Why are you defending the fascist Ukrainian act of aggression towards the innocent Russian people. Once you begin allowing states to defend their territorial integrity against Russian armored divisions, where will it end?

  109. 109.

    Violet

    I decided to do the poetweet thing with the Mistress of Word Salad, Sarah Palin herself. I don’t think the result is very different from how she usually sounds:

    Channel all
    by Sarah Palin

    To right now on On the Record.
    Worrying about children spilling…
    People. And I’m not a Word…
    Shown here this morning…

    (the Duck Commander himself,…
    That would support religious…
    By the country’s self…
    Innocent human life is precious,…

    My Dad with his antler retriever…
    Week for season 2 of Sportsman…
    She proved herself much braver…
    Want something said, ask a man….
    It was worth 30 pieces of silver.

  111. 111.

    Linnaeus

    This may be a bit late to the party, but I think Matt Yglesias’s Vox piece on “identity politics” is pretty much right on. Particularly here:

    The implication of this usage (which is widespread, and by no means limited to people who agree with Chait) is that somehow an identity is something only women or African-Americans or perhaps LGBT people have. White men just have ideas about politics that spring from a realm of pure reason, with concerns that are by definition universal.

  112. 112.

    Morzer

    @Linnaeus:

    That second sentence pretty much sums up Sully’s world-view. Say this for Matt Yglesias – when he gets it, he really gets it.

  115. 115.

    Morzer

    @Mike J:

    Those decadent coastal enclaves….

    I used to have a friend whose passionate hatred of the cops was so extreme that he would roll down the window as he drove past a cop car and scream “Do-nut fuckers!” at them. I doubt he’s still doing it after the spate of stories revealing that the police are even worse than he thought possible.

  116. 116.

    Linnaeus

    @Morzer:

    Yeah, I disagree with Yglesias a lot, but then sometimes he writes about things that I think he should write more about.

  117. 117.

    Tree With Water

    @Morzer: I hung out at two consecutive Super Bowl parties with a Hall of Fame caliber sportscaster. And when I say HOF caliber, I mean this guy could conceivably be inducted into the MLB, NFL, and NBA Hall of Fames. He was that great, and was a good guy, too. I later heard from a mutual friend that he despised police with a passion, although the friend didn’t know the reason. But the sportscaster once admitted it to him, saying he felt like a damn hypocrite waving back in friendly fashion to the cops he saw every morning while he was jogging.

  119. 119.

    divF

    @SiubhanDuinne: Your verse made me think of this one from Stanislaw Lem

    A love poem, lyrical, pastoral, and expressed in the language of pure mathematics. Tensor algebra mainly, with a little topology and higher calculus, if need be. But with feeling, you understand, and in the cybernetic spirit.

    Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
    Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
    Their indices bedecked from one to n,
    Commingled in an endless Markov chain!

    Come, every frustum longs to be a cone,
    And every vector dreams of matrices.
    Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
    It whispers of a more ergodic zone.

    In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space
    Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways.
    Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,
    We shall encounter, counting, face to face.

    I’ll grant thee random access to my heart,
    Thou’lt tell me all the constants of thy love;
    And so we two shall all love’s lemmas prove,
    And in our bound partition never part.

    For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,
    Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler,
    Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers,
    Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell?

    Cancel me not — for what then shall remain?
    Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
    A root or two, a torus and a node:
    The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

    Ellipse of bliss, converse, O lips divine!
    The product of our scalars is defined!
    Cyberiad draws nigh, and the skew mind
    cuts capers like a happy haversine.

    I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
    I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
    Bernoulli would have been content to die,
    Had he but known such a squared cosine 2 phi!

  121. 121.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Morzer:

    Frankly, I think we should find a small Middle Eastern city without amenities and shut Likud and the GOP up in it together and intermittently bomb the crap out it and see whether they learn some lessons in human decency and sanity.

    It’s about as likely for them to learn some lessons in human decency and sanity, under any conditions at all, as it is for my coronation as Tsar of all the Russias.

    It could happen, but it’s vanishingly unlikely.

  123. 123.

    Morzer

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I think that there could be something to be said for the idea of Tsar Villago First Of His Name. Maybe the excrement-exteriorization bombing of Likud/GOP could be part of the coronation ceremonies.

  124. 124.

    opiejeanne

    @Violet: Whoa, that one is very good. This thread is cheering me up when I really needed it.

    OT. I am hardly fit to be talked to online, or at least on Facebook. I think I will be taking a break there because my mostly sane friends have insane friends who attack anyone who says anything nice about Obama, and also scream PC accusations at anyone pointing out that calling someone a “thug” is rude, not to mention a dog whistle. Some jerk “yelled” at me on a friend’s thread, told me to grow up, yelled about how it made him sick that we were so worried about hurting someone’s feelings, after I explained to my friend why I thought Matt Damon should not be referred to as a thug, even in admiration because … etc.

    This idiot said no one had called Obama a thug and blah blah blah. I mildly replied that I didn’t understand why it was wrong to object to calling people names.

    I know that Palin, Rove, and Rush have each called Obama a thug, but I’m not going back there to correct him.

    My friend and I were having a good time before he showed up, and then he was outraged. Honestly, what is wrong with people?

  125. 125.

    Morzer

    @opiejeanne:

    Sounds like too much sugar and not enough good parenting at work. Some people just don’t have enough self-respect or self-discipline to behave like adults; civilization takes a certain amount of hard work day in day out and not everyone wants to make the effort.

  126. 126.

    opiejeanne

    @Morzer: At age 64 I’m always a little surprised when someone tells me to grow up, and also that somehow being rude to someone is the mark of a grownup, that there’s something wrong with caring whether you hurt someone’s feelings.

  127. 127.

    Manyakitty

    @opiejeanne: You can be my Facebook friend if you want. Lemme know and I’ll get you my info.

    ETA: I allow for carefully moderated discussions of opposing views, but I started to wield the ban-hammer like Ta-Nehisi Coates. Incivility is NOT tolerated.

  129. 129.

    Ben Cisco

    This time
    by Ben Cisco

    Racist, Misognyist D’bag” on his…
    A whole amphitheatre full of seats.
    Let ’em stock up on some of this…
    The importance of Reagan Democrats.

    Also, no pig-gigging.
    Telling you to pound sand.
    Remembering Dr. King
    ABOUT us, on the other hand…

    REPUBLICANS. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
    Dogs? GTFOOH with that hot garbage.
    Just sad. Needs moar trombone.

    Even 3) in front of his own house.
    Anyone but them is illegitimate.
    Arsonist in charge of a firehouse.

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