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You are here: Home / Anderson On Health Insurance / Where’s my pony

Where’s my pony

by David Anderson|  February 3, 20154:13 pm| 39 Comments

This post is in: Anderson On Health Insurance, Free Markets Solve Everything, Fuck The Middle-Class, Fuck The Poor, Glibertarianism, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Go Fuck Yourself, I Can't Believe We're Losing to These People

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As part of the House Republican pledge week and initiation ceremony they voted to repeal Obamacare again. The pledgemasters were being funny so they sent instructions ahead to spike the punch and produce a “replacement” plan for Obamacare:

 

House ACA repeal bill calls for replacement w/ lower costs, more insured, protect preex conditions, keep yr plan. Ok. pic.twitter.com/jVsmKK28YQ

— Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) February 3, 2015

This could be done if we define insurance as a lollipop as my son is firmly convinced that most of his ouchies, booboos and hurts can be successfully resolved with a quick provision of a lollipop.  If we define “insured” as coverage that provides 10% actuarial value coverage, then this “plan” works.  Otherwise, I want my motherfucking pony now.

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Reader Interactions

39Comments

  1. 1.

    cmorenc

    February 3, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    I am going to insist that my O-Care repeal pony have sparkles.

  2. 2.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    February 3, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    House ACA repeal bill calls for replacement w/ lower costs, more insured, protect preex conditions, keep yr plan.

    I am at a loss as to how they actually propose that this get done, but one of the best things about being a Republican is that you can pass any legislation you want and then, when someone says “how is this going to get paid for or be put into practice?” you just say “not my problem, asshole.”

  3. 3.

    Iowa Old Lady

    February 3, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    I used to teach report writing, and my students had to include a recommendation section up front. These are not recommendations. They’re just wishes. To be recommendations, they’d have to mention something someone could actually do.

  4. 4.

    Zandar

    February 3, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    1) GOP Alternative to Obamacare
    2) ???????
    3) Profit!

  5. 5.

    Linnaeus

    February 3, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Even this proposal would be too much for someone I encountered in my Facebook (I know, I know) news feed: her suggestion was to dispose of all medical insurance with the exception of catastrophic insurance because that would both lower costs and encourage people to take better care of themselves.

  6. 6.

    Dexter's New Approach

    February 3, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    This is the point the idiots seem to not understand. Everyone has an estimated HC cost. It’s a little different for group plans, but for individual accts, your premium is that estimate +20%+/-. There are no “bargains” out there, only underwriting mistakes.

  7. 7.

    srv

    February 3, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    Will this plan be called

    HucksterCare
    BoehnerCare
    Santorum
    SchiavoCare
    GrahamCrackers

  8. 8.

    seabe

    February 3, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    Oh hey, this game again:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUZGkNAUSvY

  9. 9.

    jl

    February 3, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    We all have to make hard trade-offs. Every grown-up knows that. What will it be, health for all, for FEMA death camps. Your choice, sheeples.

    Why Rand Ain’t Happening
    ‘ Now it comes out that back in 2009 Paul told InfoWars channel ‘Prison Planet TV’ that mandatory vaccines could lead to “martial law”. ‘
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/why-rand-aint-happening

  10. 10.

    jl

    February 3, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    @Zandar: There is more content to the underpants gnome business plan. I guess the GOP has moved from ‘hope is a plan’ to ‘utopian wish lists are a plan’. Progress? You decide.

  11. 11.

    artem1s

    February 3, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    @srv:

    Cruzcare
    RyanexpresstobankruptcyCare

  12. 12.

    brantl

    February 3, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Otherwise, I want my motherfucking pony now.

    This is exactly how the Republicans feel, except that they want your motherfucking pony for them now.

  13. 13.

    Yatsuno

    February 3, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    @Zandar: Can’t decide if the Underpants Gnomes or the Green Lantern theory fit better here. If they just think it POOF replacement appears!

  14. 14.

    jl

    February 3, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    WP ate my first attempt, but maybe this will warn off more GOP 2016 hopefulls from trying to out Freedumb each other on public health.

    Why Rand Ain’t Happening

    ‘ Now it comes out that back in 2009 Paul told InfoWars channel ‘Prison Planet TV’ that mandatory vaccines could lead to “martial law”.’

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/why-rand-aint-happening

  15. 15.

    SatanicPanic

    February 3, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    They pass their magical plan, Democrats get voted in and pass legislation to make it work, then Republicans blame them for tyranny and demonize the plan forever. Everybody wins!

  16. 16.

    gogol's wife

    February 3, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    @seabe:

    Yes, that’s great. Wish he could be resurrected.

  17. 17.

    brantl

    February 3, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    I am also reminded of the joke about, “What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter it won’t come!” Their plan can “call for” whatever the hell they want, they won’t get it, if they don’t pay for it.

  18. 18.

    jibeaux

    February 3, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    I have so many fond memories of sitting with my kids every December, helping them think through and write out their legislative plans to Santa.

  19. 19.

    FlipYrWhig

    February 3, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    “And thirdly, the code is more what ye’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.”

  20. 20.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    February 3, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    I’m holding out for a unicorn.

  21. 21.

    Richard mayhew

    February 3, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    @The Ancient Randonneur: splitter

  22. 22.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 3, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    The IMPORTANT thing is to repeal ni*CLANG* care.

    End of discussion.

  23. 23.

    bemused

    February 3, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    They pulled out that old GOP standard again, give Americans an “option to be in the drivers’ seat” of their own healthcare.

  24. 24.

    Randy Khan

    February 3, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Didn’t anyone notice the “or” before the last item? They only have to do one of the items on the list.

    Personally, I’m betting on #10.

  25. 25.

    Patrick

    February 3, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    House ACA repeal bill calls for replacement w/ lower costs, more insured, protect preex conditions, keep yr plan.

    Didn’t the GOP have majorities in Congress plus have the Presidency in 2002? Why didn’t they pass all this stuff then?

  26. 26.

    Calouste

    February 3, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    @jl: Any politician with a brain and/or a minimal acclaim to mainstream credibility, or even a halfway competent staff, should know better than go on an outlet called “Prison Planet TV”.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    February 3, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    @Patrick:

    Didn’t the GOP have majorities in Congress plus have the Presidency in 2002? Why didn’t they pass all this stuff then?

    Too busy fapping like mad in anticipation of all those dead brown people in Iraq.

  28. 28.

    Lurking Canadian

    February 3, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    You cynics are reacting like “sell across state lines” and “tort reform” wouldn’t accomplish this whole list.

    And as for paying for it? Capital gains tax cut obviously. Governatin’ is easy!

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 3, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    Just heard on NPR that three Republicans actually voted against today’s ACA repeal bill. Anyone know offhand who they are? (Not that such traitors have any kind of future in the GOP.)

  30. 30.

    catclub

    February 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I want my motherfucking pony now.

    It is coming in with your iced tea.

  31. 31.

    Calouste

    February 3, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I think that just means that the new class of Republican Congressfolks has now reached Monty Python’s Upper Class Twit of the Year levels of stupidity, and that they are so brain-dead they can no longer work out what they have to vote for.

  32. 32.

    Baud

    February 3, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Wouldn’t it have been easier just to ask the committees to propose legislation to repeal all diseases?

  33. 33.

    Origuy

    February 3, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: From The Hill:

    Passage fell largely along party lines by a vote of 239-186. Every Democrat in the chamber opposed the measure, and three Republicans, Reps. Robert Dold (Ill.), John Katko (N.Y.) and Bruce Poliquin (Maine) voted against repeal.

    ETA: The Link

  34. 34.

    RSA

    February 3, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Notice the last word on the second-to-the-last line?

    or

    Every committee could propose legislation to address item 10 and be done.

  35. 35.

    trnc

    February 3, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    “(3) Preserve a patient’s ability to keep his or her health plan if he or she likes it”

    Yeah? Does that include any health plan currently in use by 12 million people?

  36. 36.

    john fremont

    February 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    @Patrick: Also too, they had the White House with a President who ran on a platform of Compassionate Conservatism who expanded our Medicare program to include prescription drug coverage.

  37. 37.

    Davis X. Machina

    February 3, 2015 at 8:01 pm

    @Origuy: Poliquin voted against repeal, even though his fellow Republican, Landslide LePage, keeps vetoing medicaid expansion legislation.

    The ACA is simultaneously worth saving, and not worth participating in.

    You’d think they’d get their signals straight.

  38. 38.

    randy khan

    February 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    @RSA: Great minds, eh?

    See above

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Mike's Blog Round Up - says:
    February 5, 2015 at 8:18 am

    […] Mayhew at Balloon Juice, has the GOP’s ACA “Repeal and Replace” Bill. Wants a […]

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